King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2009 The SWF presents... A SIDE EFFECT OF GLOBAL WARMING LIVE to DVD from The FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee 7pm EST, TUESDAY, 10TH FEBRUARY Now, a more pessimistic person may be looking at the show title, taking a glance outside of their window to see perhaps ice or a light covering of snow across their front path and be thinking "phhf, Global Warming my frozen ass, ain't nothin' warm about my part of the globe Gore!". But I'm reliably informed by my closest hippy source, Toxxic, that Global Warming is also responsible for making certain parts of the globe colder. Go figure. In which case, they really ought to think about changing the term Global Warming. It's in the name, eggheads. Anyway, while we're all supposed to be saddened to tears by the plight of some polar bear tippy-toeing around trying not to wind up plunging into the sea (you'd think they'd appreciate a little rise in temperature where they're at, huh? I sure would.), the effects of global warming are far more close to home! I'm not sure what this has to do with the show exactly. But if Global Warming can make the globe colder, I'm sure it could do something wacky like produce a wrestling show out of thin air too. SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING CLINIC RULES Va'aiga © vs. Tod James Stuart The first show of the New Year has broken the ice (PUN COUNT- 1) and now it's time to get down to the serious business of the World Heavyweight Championship. At the aforementioned 2009 opener, Tod James Stuart proved the man with the staying power to capture the Cold Front (UNINTENTIONAL PUN COUNT- 1) Classic crowd by defeating Taiga Star in the finals. 2009 is already looking to harbour hot prospects (UNINTENTIONAL PUN COUNT- 2) for TJS, with number one contenderships earned for both the Tag Team Titles and the World Heavyweight Title. The tag title concerns go on the backburner for now though as we prepare for the first World Title defence of 2009. By winning the Cold Front Classic, Tod James Stuart not only put himself in line for the World Title but put himself in prime position to take the title. Not just a title shot, but in a match of his choosing. And with Va'aiga licking his wounds from a pub beating Steve Gerrard'd be proud of, there may be no better time or opportunity for Tod to play his trump card. That being, 'Wrestling Clinic Rules'. The question is will Va'aiga become an honourary Wrestling Clinic student for the night, or will the Angry Maori be putting Tod in a whole different type of clinic, one that specialises in re-attaching jaws? If it's the latter, hopefully we'll have enough unmelted ice lying around to treat the injuries. (INTENTIONAL PUN COUNT- 2!) Word Limit: 6500 Rules: Wrestling Clinic Rules, which I'm reliably informed will be explained in due course. Send To: King Cucaracha NON TITLE TAG TUSSLE The Breslins © vs. Slaughterhouse Five Tag Team Champions Luke and Leo Breslin are on a heck of a roll as everyone up to and including World Champion Va'aiga will attest to. While the going's good, they're looking for more competition. (Re-)Enter Slaughterhouse Five. The on-off tandem of former World Heavyweight Champion Michael Alexander and MANSON, who hooked up with new manager James Matheson at the New Year's Party. Hey, we've all been there at parties once the booze has been flowing long enough, amirite? I kid, of course. Matheson is now leading MANSON on what he vows will be a wave of destruction. And while Dance Dance Dragon remains in their sights, linking MANSON up with old friend Alexander and shaking up the tag team scene could prove pretty lucrative in it's own right. A win over the Champs would do that for sure. Especially given their recent performances. Matheson has promised a "change of the SWF climate" at MANSON's hands. Which is more powerful, Global Warming or MANSONOSITY~! I think we all know the answer to that one. Who will win this tag title match? Not such an easy call. Word Limit: 5500 Rules: Standard Tag Send To: Toxxic UNORTHODOX BATTLE OF THE SEXES Taiga Star © vs. Big Bully Bruner After coming up just short in the Cold Front Classic, the SWF Cruiserweight Champion faces another tough test ahead of her outside of her weight class. Taiga is used to facing opponents bigger and more powerful than her. But probably none so big or powerful as this, as she takes on a man Michael Cole would surely refer to as a bully. Infact, we all would, since that's his name. That or Mister Bruner. Although, if you're smart, you'd call him whatever he told you to call him, no questions asked. After this match, he'll be hoping to be called only one thing, 'a winner'. If nothing else this match should provide an answer to the age old question "does size matter". And possibly, the not quite so old question "do females bounce?" Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Standard Singles Send To: King Cucaracha DANCE DANCE DANCEOFF~! Thoth w/Nathaniel Kibagami vs. Dance Dance Dragon Referee: Ced Ordonez Nothing, not even the looming threat of global warming, could diminish Dance Dance Dragon's love of dance. And if it could, I'm not sure that's a world I'd want to live in. One man who hasn't had much to dance about lately is Thoth. The only dance he may be doing at the moment is the war dance with his recent record. All is not well with Thoth. All may not be well with his 'interesting' alliance with Nathaniel Kibagami either. Will a good, old-times DANCEOFF~! lighten his mood? Probably not. But it's worth a try. Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Standard Singles Send To: Toxxic (send all marked matches, promos etc to King Cucaracha) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
