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Review: WWE Cyber Sunday 2007, from Washington D.C., 11/28/2007.

I wanted to watch this, just because of the WWE Title Match. The rest looks good on paper, but not too exciting. ___________________   What in the world is this opening video? It's funny, though, as is the entrance setup. It's funny, but absurd all the same. ___________________   The first match is Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio in a...STRETCHER MATCH. Have to push the stretcher with your opponent on it over the line, remember? The other choices were a shillelagh on a pole match, and a NO DQ match.   Blow-by-blow: This should be fun, but for some reason, this show doesn't feel like a PPV. We lock-up, and Finlay pushes Rey away. Both slap each other, and Finlay takes Rey to the canvas. Finlay knees Rey in the back, and tosses him shoulder-first into the ringpost. Finlay clotheslines Rey, and tosses him onto the stretcher, which was outside of the ring. He tossed him like a fish at that place in Seattle. Anyway, here's a lot of stretcher based stuff. Rey kicks the stretcher into Finlay, but Finlay stops that and gives him a front suplex onto the stretcher. Finlay tosses him into the apron, and begins to wheel Rey towards the line, but it's not the end. Finlay gets in the ring, and gives Rey a European uppercut. Finlay rams Rey's throat into the ring apron, but Rey comes back with a flying headscissors, and a seated dropkick. We go to the outside, where Rey kicks Finlay in the head. Both men get in the ring, and go for the shillelagh that's on that pole over there. Finlay ries to get it first, but he's not able to, as Rey dropkicks him in the nuts. Rey goes for the shillelagh , but Finlay pushes him to the canvas. Finlay goes for it, and gets powerbombed off the top by Rey. Rey grabs the shillelagh, and hits Rey in the knee with it, twice. Rey dropkicks Finlay, but gets knocked onto the stretcher. Rey gets off, and kicks Finlay in the knee, before ramming the stretcher into Finlay's nuts. Rey gives him a modified 619 at the ring apron, and gives him a somersault pescado while Finlay is on the stretcher. Cool visual. Rey tries to roll Finlay across the line, but the stretcher is caught around a TV cable. HAHAHA. That was funny. Fortunately, the improvisation is very good. Finlay rams Rey into the stretcher and charges at him, but Rey flapjacks him onto the stretcher, causing Finlay's momentum to roll the stretcher across the line, for the win at 9:45.   Match Analysis: I like the improvised finish, and I liked the match just as much. It was good, as I expected, and just as good as their match at No Mercy. Same rating, **1/2. ___________________   Matt Hardy's bleeding on the Smackdown prior to this show was nuts. And his face is MASHED. MVP's with him, and says they can't fight. That said, MVP has a tough match ahead, later.   And then, JBL campaigns to be the referee in the match later, between The Undertaker and Batista.   Last in this run of segments, we have some Diva costume crap. Good Lord. Maria's wearing a cat outfit (very nice), and Victoria's dressed as Yokozuna. Ron Simmons comes into the picture during Victoria's little thing and says, well, what else.   DAMN. ___________________   I guess that's how we lead into the match between...THE MIZ and CM Punk, for the ECW Title. The other choices to challenge Punk were Big Daddy V and John Morrison. Needless to say, I'd rather have seen Punk face the last one than the others.   Blow-by-blow: Both wrestlers lock up, until Miz takes him down. This is a LOT of chain wrestling to start, and it ain't that good. We'll go past that, to when they start doing things right. Punk gives Miz a leg lariat, and a snapmare, before kicking him in the back. Punk gives Miz a slingshot suplex (one of my favorite moves), for a 2 count. Punk knees Miz a bunch, but Miz comes back with a snapmare and a legdrop. Miz goes up top, and Punk prevents him from doing something, trying for a superplex. Punk can't do it, as Miz knocks him to the canvas. Miz gives him a snapmare for 2 (what kind of transition move for a pin is that), and rams Punk to the buckle. Then Miz gives him that running clothesline in the corner, which is the only thing he does that I like. Miz applies a neck vice, but Punk takes him to the canvas. Miz misses a charge to the corner, and Punk gives him a totally messed up springboard crossbody for 2. Wow. Miz was on his knees for some reason...after, Miz gouges Punk's eyes, and pins Punk for 2. Miz applies a chinlock, as the crowd chants "Y2J." Miz suplexes Punk and goes up top, where Punk gives him a pop-up armdrag. Punk runs into Miz, and begins to kick him in the face. Punk gives him the running knee-bulldog combination at the corner, and a springboard clothesline, for 2. Punk goes for the GO 2 SLEEP, but Miz rolls him up for 2. Punk reverses the roll-up for 2, and Miz goes for the REALITY CHECK. He can't get it, so Punk gives him a GO 2 SLEEP for the win at 8:51.   Match Analysis: This crowd is one of the worst I've ever seen, although that has little to do with the match. I'm only giving it 1/4* because the right guy went over, and I like Punk. That said, this was the worst match I've ever seen with him involved. Simply put, the Miz doesn't belong in a wrestling ring. He's AWFUL. I probably should give this a DUD, but I won't. ___________________   Mickie James is dressed like a squaw for this costume contest, and Torrie Wilson is dressed as a Washington Redskin. I can't really describe how unprofessional this whole thing looks.   Now we get some leadup featuring Randy Orton for the WWE Title match a little later...although you can see how hard they were trying to push Shawn Michaels as the fans eventual selection. Todd Grisham's with William Regal, to determine who's going to face Orton later. The two who aren't chosen will fight each other next; the choices are Mr. Kennedy, Shawn Michaels, and Jeff Hardy. And the winner is...Shawn Michaels. Yeehaw. ___________________   So, obviously, our next match is Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy.   Blow-by-blow: Why isn't this an Intercontinental Title match? They trying to make it seem useless? I also wonder how they determine the payouts to the wrestlers for this show. The two wrestlers lock-up, and Hardy takes Kennedy down to the canvas via a headlock. Kennedy grabs onto a headlock of his own, and turns the move into a hammerlock. He goes behind Hardy, but Hardy takes him down with a headlock of his own. Both wrestlers get up, still in the Hardy headlock, and Kennedy gives him a back suplex. Kennedy misses a charge to the corner, and Hardy dropkicks Kennedy out of the ring. Then Hardy follows him out with a plancha, and brings him back in for 1. Hardy takes Kennedy to the corner for a 10 punch, but Kennedy sneaks away and dumps Hardy to the outside. Kennedy hits him with a running boot as Hardy comes in, for 2. Kennedy goes to the chinlock, but gives Hardy a quick DDT for 2. Back to the chinlock we go as Kennedy has a bodyscissor applied, and then gets a clothesline for 2. He goes up to the 2nd rope, but Hardy follows him, and gives him a rana off there. They slug it out, until Hardy gives him two clotheslines. And then he takes Kennedy hard to the canvas, for 2. Jeff goes for the TWIST OF FATE, but gets pushed toward the turnbuckle, where he climbs up and gives Kennedy a WHISPER IN THE WIND, but it only gets a 2 count. Hardy gives Kennedy that weird enziguri he does, and tries to dropkick Kennedy in the corner, but Kennedy swipes his feet, causing Hardy to land on his head. That gets Kennedy the pinfall at 9:07.   Match Analysis: I suppose it was ok, it was just a typical RAW match. I've seen better, and I've seen worse. **, but it was heatless, just like everything else. ___________________   Michelle McCool's dressed as Eve, and Melina's dressed like a Las Vegas showgirl.   Mick Foley's in the back for an interview, but JBL says that nobody gives a damn about Foley. So, JBL runs a campaign video...it's mostly a SMEAR CAMPAIGN! Once that's over, seeing as Foley's standing next to two of those Fathead things (one being Batista, the other, Taker), he calls JBL a fathead. That was kinda funny. ___________________   Our next match is...KANE vs. MVP for the US Title. The other choices to face MVP were the Great Khali and Mark Henry. Needless to say, Kane was the best choice.   Blow-by-blow: MVP bails at the beginning, to take off the t-shirt he's wearing. Smart move, to waste time, anyway. They slug it out, until Kane hits him with a big boot. Kane clotheslines him twice, and gives him a side slam for 2. Kane goes up to the top rope, but MVP knocks him off, and down to the floor, where MVP quickly brings him in. He kicks Kane, and gets a two count, as he begins to go to work on Kane's midsection. He pounds on him, and gives Kane a running big boot, for 2. MVP applies a seated abdominal stretch, and kicks away at Kane's ribs when the hold has to be released. Kane finally takes over, and begins to do the same things MVP was doing. He goes with some knees to the gut, and a backbreaker. He applies an abdominal stretch, and then picks him up and rams him into the turnbuckle. Kane places MVP along the top rope, and kicks him in the gut. That was cool. Kane rams the ribs of MVP into the ringpost and...MVP stays out of the ring for a 10 count, giving Kane the countout victory at 6:39.   Match Analysis: This was headed in the right direction, that being the "this is a hell of a match" direction. And then we had that finish, washing all that goodwill down the toilet. DUD on principle. ___________________   Before anything else, here's a Chris Jericho re-debut spot.   And now, Layla talks about the costume contest, while dressed as a cop. And Kelly Kelly's supposed to be a pimp. Let's not even talk about how gigantic her tits look.   Randy Orton's in the back, and we see video of what he did to HBK at Judgment Day. And now, everyone will have to live with the decision they made, seemingly because he's going to do the same tonight. ___________________   So, our next match is what I've been waiting for, Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.   Blow-by-blow: Both men lock-up, and separate, before Orton gives Shawn a nice knee to the gut. He works Shawn over, until Shawn does the same. Orton ducks out of the ring on a faux SWEET CHIN MUSIC attempt, and Shawn follows him with that somersault pescado he's been doing lately. We go back in, where Shawn chops away, until Orton gives him a droptoehold. Orton grabs onto a front facelock, but Shawn reverses it into a hammerlock and tosses Orton shoulder-first into the ringpost. Shawn takes him down with a wristlock, and goes to work on the left arm. Then Shawn gives Orton a hammerlock slam, and applies a kelock. Orton gets up and stomps on Shawn's face, but misses a charge to the corner. Shawn applies a hammerlock, and gives Orton a back suplex at the same time. Shawn tosses Orton over the top and follows him to the outside, but Orton gives him a back suplex onto the retaining wall. Ouch. Orton brings Shawn in, and begins to stomp on his arm and knee. He gives Shawn a dropkick for 2, and goes to the chinlock. When Shawn powers out, Orton misses a dropkick, so Shawn gives him a jackknife pin, for 2. Orton goes for a back suplex, but Shawn reverses and lands on top of Orton for a 2 count. Orton gives Shawn the inverted backbreaker (that's what they call Mike Sanders' 3.0, so I'll call it that now too), and it gets a 2 count. Orton places Shawn on the top turnbuckle and follows him up, but Shawn pushes him down and goes for a flying elbowdrop. It misses, and Orton's ready to give Shawn an RKO. Shawn catches Orton and gives him a backslide for 2, as the crowd finally is into something tonight. Shawn gives Orton the flying forearm, and kips up, as usual. An inverted atomic drop follows, and a scoop slam. Shawn goes up to the top, and gives Orton a flying elbowdrop. Now Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but Orton forearms him right in the nuts in mid-move, getting himself disqualified at 15:52. Oh boy. Orton's going to kick Shawn in the head after the match, but Shawn quickly gets up and gives him SWEET CHIN MUSIC.   Match Analysis: Does the WWE understand that people PAID to watch this shit? This is a damn PPV, not an episode of Monday Night Raw. I suppose this was the only way to book themselves out of a title change, but really now. This match was fantastic, but I don't like the ending at all. ***1/4. ___________________   Brooke is in the back, dressed as Jane from Tarzan. And Jillian is dressed as Britney Spears. So, JR says this might be the worst costume contest he's ever seen. He said it's terrible. Good on him. ___________________   Our next match is Triple H vs. UMAGA in a...STREET FIGHT. The other match selections were a cage match and a first blood match. So, why didn't anyone pick cage match?   Blow-by-blow: I like that Umaga squashed a jobber in all these match selections on RAW before this show. HHH meets him in the aisle during his entrance, and they brawl. Umaga headbutts HHH, and tosses him into the keyboard that's on the set. On the walkway, to be precise. And no, it isn't a real keyboard. HHH goes for the PEDIGREE, but Umaga prevents it, and they brawl behind the stage. HHH charges at Umaga, knocking both men through the stage, in a cool visual. HHH rams him into the guardrail, and they fight in the crow. Umaga charges at HHH near ringside, but flies over the guardrail, putting him near the ring. Both men get in the ring, and Umaga misses a charge to the corner, giving HHH time to grab a trash can from under the ring. Umaga gets hit with it for a 2 count, but he comes back with a samoan drop. He gives HHH multiple headbutts, and a big splash, for 2. On the outside, Umaga rams HHH into the steel steps and brings him back in, giving him a legdrop for 2. They slug it out, but Umaga gives HHH a bearhug, and then, a belly-to-belly suplex. Umaga then gives HHH the running ass to face at the corner, for 2. Umaga chases the referee out of the ring and grabs a chair, but HHH gives him a lowblow, and a DDT on the chair for 2. HHH gives Umaga the knee-to-facebuster, but gets rammed into the turnbuckle, where Umaga misses a charge. Even still, Umaga's in control, and gives HHH a catatonic. On the outside we go, where Umaga peels all the stuff off each announce table. Uh-oh. Umaga grabs a chair and swings it at HHH, but hits the ringpost. HHH rams him into the table, and Umaga does the same. Umaga places HHH on the ECW announce table, and goes over to the Smackdown announce table. And then, he runs all the way over to HHH, and splashes him through the ECW announce table. That was nice. Umaga acts all crazy after throwing HHH in the ring and goes to the top, where he misses a diving headbutt. HHH gets the SLEDGEHAMMER, but misses, as Umaga hits him in the gut. Umaga goes for the SAMOAN SPIKE, but HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER after he misses, and gives Umaga a PEDIGREE for the 3 count at 17:23.   Match Analysis: This was pedestrian street fight fare, except for the splash spot on the tables. That part was great. This was just average. We know how I rate average. **1/2. That might be an unpopular opinion. Even during all that, nobody bled. ___________________   So, Mickie James won the costume contest. Whoop-de-doo.   Now we get the hype for Batista/Taker...and the announcement of the special guest referee. JBL says that it's time for someone with talent to grab a mic, and now, announce him as the referee. Mick Foley comes to the ring...to silence. And we find out that STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD is our referee. JBL beats up Foley, until Austin comes out, and gives Foley a STUNNER. JBL begins to beat up Austin, until Austin gives him a STUNNER. And now, for the match... ___________________   The match is Undertaker vs. Batista with Steve Austin as the special guest referee, for the World Heavyweight Title. I really, really expect good things from this, given the way everyone talks about their matches.   Blow-by-blow: The crowd loves Batista, so we finally hear some noice. Batista misses a charge at Taker, and is given a boot to the head. Both men lock-up, and Batista gives Taker a headlock, before Taker gives him a big boot for 1. Taker rams him into the buckle, but Batista reverses and begins to shouldercharge into Taker at the corner. Taker gives Batista a back elbow, and tries to apply a triangle choke. He doesn't, though, but instead clubs away at Batista's back for 2. Jerry Lawler's on commentary with Michael Cole, presumably to sell the beating JBL received from Austin. Taker wraps Batista's arm around the top rope, but misses his charge at it. Batista knocks him out of the ring and rams him into the steel steps, and then the ring apron. Back in, and Taker gives Batista a clothesline for 2. He goes for OLD SCHOOL, but is unable to complete the move. Taker misses a charge at Batista, and lies out of the ring, where Batista rams him into the steps again. Once they come back in, Batista jumps on Taker's back, until he gets thrown out of the ring. Taker places Batista's neck along the ring apron, and gives him a legdrop. The cover only gets 2, so Taker gives him 2 clotheslines. When Taker gives Batista SNAKE EYES, Batista counters with a clothesline on Taker's big boot attempt. That gets 2, and Batista goes for the BATISTA BOMB. Taker takes him to the corner, but Batista whips him to the other side, where he misses a charge. Taker goes for OLD SCHOOL, but Batista catches him on the way down with a spinebuster for a 2 count. Taker applies a triangle choke, but Batista positions Taker so that his shoulders are down, forcing a 2 count that causes Taker to break the hold. Taker goes for the CHOKESLAM once, but gets elbowed away. He tries for it AGAIN, and gets the move. Taker goes for the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, but Batista spears him after countering, for 2. Batista goes for the BATISTA BOMB, but gets backdropped out of it. Batista droptoehold's Taker into the buckle, and goes up for the 10 punch. I know what's going to happen here. LAST RIDE by Taker, but it only gets a 2 count. Taker goes for a TOMBSTONE, but gets spinebustered by Batista for 2. Batista gives him the BATISTA BOMB for 2, and ANOTHER gets the 3 count, at 17:25. So, Batista retains his title.   Match Analysis: Hell, I didn't expect the match to be THAT good. But it was. ***1/2, for the Match of the Night. That was really fun, and had I not already known who would win, well, who would know, given the way that match went. And that's the end of the show. ___________________   Rating: Decent. That wasn't a very easy call to make, given two complete non-finishes in seemingly important matches, one botched finish (even though I liked it) and a terrible costume contest. If I ever watch this show again, I'll only watch the end.   Best Segment: Taker/Batista. I think Orton/HBK would have been the better match with a finish, though.   Worst Segment: Costume Contest. Self explanatory.   Loudest Sound: Basically, I'm just going to list the people that got a modicum of crowd reaction. HHH, Batista, Undertaker, Shawn, and Randy Orton.   No Sound: Everyone else. Basically this was the worst crowd I've ever seen, and the WWE shouldn't go back to DC for a PPV anytime soon. ___________________   My next up will have thoughts from the MSG show that's on 24/7, and Smackdown from last night. Should be up on Monday.
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LFC Blog
 

Review: WCW Clash of the Champions XXXV, from Nashville, Tennessee; 8/21/1997.

Been interested in this one...I don't know, I suppose Raven vs. Stevie Richards appeals to me. ___________________   Tony, Bobby, and Dusty are our commentators. They run down the card, and then, our first match is Mongo McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett w/Queen Debra, for the United States Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: Jarrett's a hometown guy, you know. Jarrett slams Mongo at the start and struts, prior to ramming Mongo's head into the turnbuckle pad. He then takes Mongo down from behind, and follows it up with a chopblock, Mongo style, out of the three point stance. Jarrett rams Mongo into the buckle again, but Mongo comes out of there with a clothesline, before the commercial.   We're back, and Jarrett has rammed Mongo into the steel steps, twice. Back in, and Jarrett jumps on Mongo's back, as Mongo's throat is draped along the second rope. Jarrett gives Mongo a suplex and goes to the sleeper, but Mongo breaks the hold and gives him a sleeper of his own. Debra gets on the ring apron to distract, whoa, wait a minute. It's Eddie Guerrero! He gets up on the top rope with the US Title, comes down and...hits Jeff Jarrett on accident. Mongo covers Jarrett at 5:53, and we've got a new United States Champion.   Match Analysis: Nothing special, and with Mongo, the shorter the better. I don't think he should've been given the US Belt, but he was super over. I guess they had to do something with the guy. *. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Alex Wright, who's going to take on Ultimo Dragon for Dragon's Television Title later on. He talks in German a bit, then calls the title his.   After, Gene is with the guys from Dinner and a Movie, which airs on TBS. Seriously. ___________________   We now move forward to Stevie Richards vs. Raven, which is also Raven's debut match in WCW.   Blow-by-Blow: Raven enters from the crowd, and takes the microphone. He wants no disqualifications in this match, and the referee says, sure. At the start, Raven rams Stevie into the buckle, before sending him outside. Raven flies out with a pescado, and after bringing Stevie back in, Stevie comes back with a backslide for one. Raven puts Stevie on the apron and knocks him to the floor, then flies off the apron with two elbowdrops. Back in, Raven's got a chair, and he drop-toe holds Stevie into it. A bulldog into the chair follows, but when Raven sets the chair up in the corner, Stevie's the one who tosses his opponent into it. A sidewalk slam is delivered to Raven for 2, so Richards prepares for the Steviekick. That doesn't happen, but he still rolls Raven up for a two count. Raven responds with a clothesline for two, gutshot, EVENFLOW DDT, for the pinfall victory at 5:03.   Match Analysis: This wasn't the best match, but it was a good way to introduce Raven. Quite convincingly, I should add. I'll give this one my favorite rating, that being *1/2. I like how this show is a progression of storylines that are currently on the Nitros that WWE 24/7 is airing. ___________________   Alex Wright is now facing the Ultimo Dragon for the Television Title.   Blow-by-Blow: Wright gives Dragon a hiptoss to start, and a snapmare too, but Dragon applies a wristlock. Wright reverses into a hammerlock, but Dragon takes him to the canvas and applies an armbar. Wright pokes him in the eye to break the hold, but his shoulderblock can't knock Dragon to the canvas. Dragon's shoulderblock does though, and he follows it up with a dropkick. After Dragon's multi-kick combo, he goes to the chinlock. When Wright gets up, he gives Dragon a powerbomb, and a backbreaker, for a 2 count. Another backbreaker only gets two, and so does a gutwrench suplex. Now to the   commercial. I've gotta mention, from the beginning to the commercial is some of the most fluid wrestling I've seen. Smooth.   and we're back, with Dragon tied up in a chinlock. Wright gives Dragon a clothesline, and a scoop slam, before heading up top. He comes down with a stomp on Dragon's head, then dances. Now back to the chinlock, and when Dragon breaks free, he gives Wright a sleeper. Wright reverses, so Dragon gives him a back suplex. They now trade chops, until Wright gives Dragon a European uppercut, ending that flurry. After a Wright back suplex, Dragon responds with a springboard dropkick, bringing the house down. Ok, not really. Dragon misses a pescado as Wright's on the outside, so Wright decides to stomp on him. He tries to whip Dragon into the railing, but Dragon reverses and does that to Wright instead. Dragon follows that up with an asai moonsault, and brings Wright in the hard way, with a front suplex off the top rope. Dragon tries LA MAGISTRAL, but that only gets a two count. A handspring back elbow from Dragon misses, but Wright's pin with his feet on the ropes only gets two. Damn. Wright reverses an attempt at a DRAGON SUPLEX into a rollup, which Dragon reverses for 2. Now they get up as Wright has Dragon's back, and Wright gives Dragon a GERMAN SUPLEX for the victory at 10:54. We've got a new TV Champion! And he's German! Match Analysis: Awesome match, but the TV Title time limit and the commercial kinda killed the likelihood of going ****. Must watch. I gave it ***1/2. Commercials hurt a match, especially when it's going as well as this one was. ___________________   Now, we've got Eddie Guerrero challenging Chris Jericho for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: Eddie Guerrero's music hasn't changed yet. Boo. To start, Jericho gives Eddie a few armdrags, and then a dropkick. Eddie tells the referee that his hair was pulled, and shows the referee exactly how it was done. Jericho gives Eddie a press slam and a flapjack, which causes Eddie to duck out of the ring. Eddie comes right back in with a sneak attack, and a big flying back elbow. Eddie gives Jericho a hilo, and a hurricanrana off the top rope for 2. Eddie then tries a hurricanrana in which he grabs Jericho's hand, leaps onto the top rope and springboards off with a rana, but Jericho catches him and powerbombs him. After a Jericho GIANT SWING(!), he gives Eddie a spinning heel kick. He botches a springboard plancha though, landing on his face outside. HA! Instead of sulking and doing nothing, Jericho runs right over and suplexes Eddie to the floor from the apron. A very good spot to replace that botch, IMO. Eddie brings Jericho in after a few punches and gives him my favorite move, a superplex, for a two count. Jericho tries a powerbomb, but can't get it...so after a reversal sequence, Jericho gives Eddie a release German suplex, which puts Eddie on his head. For real. But, the cover only gets two. Eddie gives Jericho a springboard sunset flip, which only gets two. We go into an UGLY pinfall rollup reversal sequence, and Jericho picks up the win at 6:40. After the match, Eddie dropkicks Jericho, in anger. A brainbuster and a FROG SPLASH follow, as Eddie leaves Jericho in the dust. I guess that's a good phrase to use.   Match Analysis: A disappointing effort. I mean, there were great things about it. Like the post-match beatdown. I mean, Eddie's character at that time is one of the best I've ever seen. Dead serious. Only ** for the match...if you had just watched this and none of their prior or later work, it would be hard to say, oh, they had a match that neared **** just a month later. You wouldn't believe it. ___________________   Part #2 begins, with a big lucha libre tag match. We've got Lizmark Jr., Super Calo, Juventud Guerrera, and Hector Garza facing Psychosis, Silver King, Villano IV, and Villano V w/Sonny Onoo.   Blow-by-Blow: IV and Calo will start things off, and Calo takes IV to the canvas with an armdrag. They go into a reversal sequence, and afterward, Calo gives IV an armdrag and a flying headscissors. Calo gives Silver King a dropkick, and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to IV, which gets a two count. Garza comes right in, and misses a charge to the corner. Silver King also misses a charge to the corner, but he gives Garza a hiptoss and shoulderblock. Garza responds with an armdrag and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, before clotheslining King over the top. Juvi and Psychosis come in, and the latter of the two gives the other a superkick. Psychosis tosses him out, so Garza and IV come in. IV and Silver King monkey flip Garza and Lizmark Jr. to the outside, and here comes the crazy shit, as the heels get tossed out too. Calo flies out with a tope con hilo onto Silver King and Villano IV. Lizmark does the same, but with a regular tope...Juvi leaps off of Garza's back to the outside, landing on everyone...Villano V flies out with another tope...and Garza ends the sequence with a SICK CORKSCREW PLANCHA. Onoo grabs Calo's leg with he and Psychosis back in the ring, knocking Calo to the canvas. Psychosis comes off the top with a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP, which finishes Calo via pinfall at 4:52.   Match Analysis: Typical lucha spotfest. I like them. You know, the sequence where everyone decides to dive on one another is one of my favorites. Required viewing. **3/4, for a pretty good little match. You take what you can get. ___________________   Mean Gene is with the guys from Dinner and a Movie, who are naming their culinary creations. Macho Mayo...Macho Nacho...NWOkra....oh, that explains it all. These cooks are NWO 4 LIFE! What in the hell did I just say. Or, rather, what in the hell is this. The cooks tear their shirts off to reveal an NWO one, which brings Randy Savage out. You see, this is the NWO's birthday party. Now we go to a commercial.   We're back, and DDP is destroying all of this cooking utensils. He gives one of those dudes a DIAMOND CUTTER, and leaves. What a tough guy. ___________________   On the road, then Konnan and Syxx are taking on Ric Flair and Curt Hennig.   Blow-by-Blow: Gee, who's going over here? Hennig's being recruited by the Four Horsemen, if you didn't know. Hennig spits his gum at Konnan, and we're underway. Konnan puts Hennig in a headlock, but Hennig drop-toe holds his way out of it. Konnan pulls on Hennig's hair, which allows him to bring in his partner. Hennig tags out as well, so Syxx gives Flair a shoulderblock. Syxx gives Flair a backdrop, but Flair comes right back with a few chops and a kneedrop for two. After a Flair backdrop, Hennig comes in and gives Syxx a kneelift, knocking Syxx over to his corner, allowing him to tag in Konnan. They both collide after a few punches, and Syxx makes the tag. Flair chops away at Konnan, who misses a dropkick. Syxx clips Flair in the knee on accident, because Hennig pushed him into Flair, inadvertently, of course. Hennig gives Konnan the HENNIG-PLEX, which picks up the pinfall victory at 5:10. After the match, Mean Gene is with Hennig, to ask him whether or not he's decided to be a Horseman. Hennig just says, no. Gene asks him what his decision is, and Hennig says, no. What an ambiguous answer.   Match Analysis: Basic, formula Nitro match. Seeing as this Clash is nothing more than a glorified Nitro, I can't say that there's anything wrong with that. *3/4. ___________________   Here's our main event. Diamond Dallas Page and Lex Luger are facing Randy Savage and Scott Hall, who are accompanied by the entirety of the NWO. Before the match, Kevin Nash grabs a microphone, and well, he's going to allow Savage to defend his portion of the tag team titles. Now we've got a REAL main event, as this is for the WCW Tag Team Titles.   Blow-by-Blow: Only Nash was allowed to stay at ringside. How unfortunate. Hall and Page were going to start things off, but Hall wants Luger instead. So, we begin. Luger pushes Hall to the canvas and poses, pretty much as you'd figure. Hall pulls Luger to the outside for a bit, so Savage can give Luger a double axhandle when he comes back in. Savage misses an elbowdrop, so DDP tags in and hits everyone, ending his run of big hits with a clothesline. Savage comes back with a clothesline of his own, and a boot choke, before tagging in Hall. Hall gives Page a fallaway slam for a two count, before Savage tags in and rams Page into the buckle. Both work on Page in the corner, before Savage gives Page an elbowdrop for 2. Savage and Hall stomp on Page outside of the ring, which Savage follows it up with a double axhandle off the ring apron. Hall's in the ring, and applies an STF type hold. Page gives him a clothesline, and finally makes the hot tag to Luger. Luger cleans house, gives Hall an inverted atomic drop, and clotheslines both. He tosses Savage over the top, and puts Hall in THE RACK! Savage comes in, pokes Page in the eye, so Hall rams Luger into Page. You see, Page's eye was hurt, so he didn't see that it was Luger. He turns around, Luger's standing there, and he gives Luger the DIAMOND CUTTER. After a long delay, Hall pins Luger, for the three count at 9:55.   Match Analysis: I like that the Diamond Cutter was put over so huge. Well, any finisher in which the guy had to lay down for that long afterward is one that is put over huge. I wrote something about remembering something from Flair's book, but I forgot. Maybe it was about how Savage and Hall didn't get along. I don't know. Match was **. ___________________   The NWO are staying in the ring, as Eric Bischoff is saying some stuff to the winners. If not for them, these people wouldn't be here. Maybe that's true. The lights flicker for a few moments, and look to the rafters. Hey, there's Sting. A buzzard is up there with him, as his music plays. The lights go out, then back on, and a buzzard is attached to the top rope. What's awful is that you could see the person who attached it walking away from the bird. Brutal. One of the most bizarre show endings I've seen. ___________________   Rating: Decent. I would say the show was good for a Clash, but that ending sorta soured me on things, as did the Dinner and a Movie segment. Absolutely retarded.   Best Segment: Definitely Alex Wright's victory over Ultimo Dragon. Fantastic TV match.   Worst Segment: The Sting thing. I don't really follow. ___________________   I don't have any reviews to do for a while. That's good! Ok, not really. It just means I'll do something else with my time.  
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Undertaker DVD, Part 6.

Ok, I've had enough days of not doing any of these... ___________________   This match is from No Mercy 2002, and it's a Hell in a Cell match, featuring the WWE Champion Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs. The Undertaker. Remember, Taker has a broken hand.   Blow-by-blow: Taker swings his hand that's in a cast at Brock and Brock dodges him, then takes him down. Taker elbows Brock a few times, but a Brock powerslam gets 2. Brock charges into Taker, and Taker hits Brock in the gut with his cast. Brock bails out of the ring and Taker chases him, and Taker hits Brock in the head with the cast a few times, making Brock bleed. Quite a bit of blood, too. Taker rams Brock into the steps, then the Cell, and grates his face along the Cell. A cover on the outside gets a 2 count, and Taker torpedo tosses Brock into the Cell afterward. Taker does that legdrop where he sets the other wrestler up on the apron and runs down the apron to legdrop him, then goes up top. He clearly had 2nd thoughts about whatever he was going to do, as he comes down with a "something." I really don't know what it was. Taker kicks the Cell into Paul Heyman, and Heyman blades. Again, a lot of blood. Brock accidentally runs into Heyman, but Brock recovers and spinebusters Taker into the Cell, hard. Heyman hands Brock a belt, and Brock ties Taker up, against the Cell. Brock hits Taker in the back with a chair, and then hits the "broken" hand, repeatedly. The belt breaks, and Brock bites Taker on the hand. Back inside the ring, Brock rips the cast off. Brock does this thing where he swings on one of the Cell support beams like Tarzan and kicks Taker a few times. Taker hits Brock low, down low, then pushes him down into the ring. Taker with an elbowdrop into the ring off the top for a 2 count, and Taker kicks Brock into the Cell. Heyman screams out, "we're losing Brock" and he screams pretty much for the rest of the bout. It's funny. Taker dives out under the top rope onto Brock, and Brock gets up first, tossing Taker into the Cell. Brock throws the steel steps into Taker, and now Taker's bleeding. That's a LOT OF BLOOD, much more than that of the other two who are already bleeding. Brock throws the steps into Taker again, and we go back in the ring. A Brock spinebuster gets a 2 count, and Brock doesn't know what he needs to do in order to win. Taker goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Brock armdrags him off the top rope. Brock goes for the F5, but Taker counters with a chokeslam for 2. Taker with an avalanche, and he goes for another, but Brock counters with a boot to the face. Brock gets backdropped on a BROCK LAST RIDE attempt, and a Taker running DDT gets 2. The LAST RIDE is countered again as Brock rams Taker into the buckle, and as Brock climbs the corner to punch Taker, Taker FINALLY gets the LAST RIDE. However, Brock grabs the ropes on the cover, so the next logical step is to TOMBSTONE him. Taker goes for the TOMBSTONE but Brock reverses it so that he's in TOMBSTONE position, and then Brock launches Taker into position for the F5, and gets the 3 count to retain his title at 27:15. Brock climbing up the Cell to celebrate is left out of the DVD program, so we'll stop there.   Match Analysis: In good conscience, no, this was not better than Taker's match with HHH at WM 17. But since I felt this match was ***1/4, I need to change the rating of the WM 17 match to ***1/2. It would only be fair. Not only that, this was the last great Hell in a Cell matches before they went to shit for a while. I don't remember whether or not the other ones after the 50 minute classic (sic) was better than this. Good for what it was, a brawl with a lot of blood. ___________________   The next match is from the first Smackdown only PPV, Vengeance 2003, and it's The Undertaker vs. John Cena.   Blow-by-blow: IMO, Cena is far better in this role. As a cocky heel that doesn't give a shit what other people think, that's what Cena does best. His rap is corny, but good. Cena slaps Taker at the start, and gets tossed into the corner. Taker dumps Cena and tosses him into the table where the ring bell is situated. Cena grabs a waterbottle and takes a swig, then spits it into Taker's face. Taker tosses Cena into the guardrail, then back into the ring. Taker gets that apron legdrop, and a cover on the inside gets 1. Taker goes up for OLD SCHOOL, gets it, and a chokeslam, and Taker pulls Cena's head up at 2. Way to make the guy look like a jobber. Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but Cena jumps over him and DDT's him. Cena goes to unwrap the turnbuckle, but he stops midway through doing so. He kicks Taker and chokes him, then after a Taker clothesline, Cena finishes taking off the turnbuckle pad. Taker misses a charge toward the exposed turnbuckle pad, and Cena knocks him out of the ring with a flying shoulderblock. Taker has some "internal bleeding" going on, but a Taker clothesline gets a 2 count after he misses a big boot. Taker with a dragon sleeper, but Cena gets a spinebuster for 2. Taker with a clothesline after both men trade right hands, and Taker goes for the TOMBSTONE. Cena counters and goes for the F-U, and that's also countered. Taker with a legdrop for two, but Cena hits Taker with his chain. Cena gets the F-U for a 2 count, and for the third straight match on this DVD, Cena goes into the corner to punch Taker, and Taker LAST RIDES him out of there, winning the match. Third straight time that spot has been used...   Match Analysis: I believe the word to use is overrated. I've seen in the past that this match drew pretty good star ratings, but it was a glorified Taker squash. He did nothing to make Cena look strong, Cena was only made to look weak. **1/2. I ain't feelin' it. ___________________   Now, we have a BURIED ALIVE match, it's from Survivor Series 2003, and it's the Undertaker vs. Mr. McMahon.   Blow-by-blow: Vince prays to a "higher power" before the match, which I find incredibly funny for multiple reasons. Well, that didn't take long. Vince blades on Taker's first punch. Vince is GUSHING blood all over the place, and Taker rams Vince's grapefruits into the steel ring post. Heh. Then he does the same on the other side of the ring, and rams Vince into the announce table. Apparently, Vince threatened to have Taker's wife raped during the buildup for this match. Wow. Taker chokes Vince with a television cable and hits him with a TV monitor. Taker goes up to the stage where the grave is, and grabs a shovel. He hits Vince with it and I have to say, this might be the most blood I've ever seen in a match. It's all over the place. Taker grabs the steps and rams them into Vince's left leg, and we go TOWARD THE GRAVE. Vince gets his only offense of the match with a headbutt to the nuts of Taker and he then hits Taker with a shovel. Taker pulls Vince into the grave, and opens the forklift door in order to bury him. Taker, bury? harharhar. Kane comes out of the forklift and puts Taker into the grave, and Vince climbs into the forklift and dumps dirt into the grave for the win, at 11:58.   Match Analysis: Wow. Only thing keeping it from -*'s is the blood. DUD for the blood. Dumb. ___________________   The last match on this DVD set is the return of the Deadman w/Paul Bearer in tow, at WM XX. He's facing Kane.   Blow-by-blow: Taker's entrance was awesome, what with Bearer coming out and the Druids. Kane keeps saying "you're not real" throughout the bout. OK. Kane bails early and Taker whips Kane into the apron of the ring. Taker does that legdrop on the apron, and back inside, avalanches Kane while Kane's in the turnbuckle. Bearer screams, "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT," and Taker goes for the LAST RIDE. Unfortunately, they blow a spot where Kane is supposed to counter and drop Taker along the top rope. As I was saying, Taker does not get dropped along the top rope, he just falls down in a heap. Kane with a big boot and right hands as the MSG crowd thankfully does not chant "you fucked up." Kane gets a sideslam and goes up for a flying clothesline that gets a 2 count. Kane misses a charge at Taker, and Taker gets a running big boot and legdrop. He goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Kane catches him in a choke. Taker returns the favor, and Taker's the one to try the CHOKESLAM first. However, KANE gets the CHOKESLAM and taunts the crowd for a bit. Taker sits up, and no-sells a Kane big boot, then hits a flying clothesline on Kane. Taker gets the CHOKESLAM, and then the TOMBSTONE for the finish at 6:56.   Match Analysis: 1/2*. Not good, but I don't think it was supposed to be anything other than a quick vehicle to re-establish Taker. I don't think he needed it, though.   That's the end of the DVD! ___________________   Now, ratings for the entire DVD.   Rating: Good. Unfortunately, a large majority of the matches are those that most people have probably seen. No hidden gems here, except for maybe the Bret v. Taker match from One Night Only. That match, and a match vs. Kurt Angle from Smackdown in 2003 were cut from the 24/7 airing of the DVD.   Best Match: Shawn vs. Taker from Badd Blood 1997.   Worst Match: Yokozuna vs. Undertaker from Royal Rumble 1994, and Taker v. Hogan from Survivor Series 1991 gets a dishonorable mention. ___________________     The review of the show from the Spectrum in Philadelphia will be posted either tomorrow or Tuesday. I haven't made up my mind yet.
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9/3/2008- The players who came in

Alan Curbishley resigned today. I was expecting that. Now West Ham have some looking to do to find the right manager.   The first man we brought in was Swiss international, Phillip Degen, who came from Borussia Dortmund on a free transfer.   Degen did not play too well in the preseason, but nevertheless, he looks like a full back who has the gung-ho offensive mentality down pat. Defensively, he sucks. On a free, it's a good deal. He's better than Voronin. Do I think he'll matter much to this team? Nope. If Arbeloa goes down, Jamie Carragher will step in at right back and Degen will not become a regular. Second man in, was Andrea Dossena, who joined from Udinese for 7 million pounds.   This is a lot of money for a left back. A lot. Fortunately, he's pretty good! Great going forward, not so great in defense, but good enough. Provides a really good ball, and is quite fast. I still have my doubts.   Next up, joining from Palmeiras in Brazil for three million pounds, was goalkeeper Diego Cavalieri.   We signed him so we could get rid of Charles Itandje. Unfortunately we could not get rid of Itandje. I've seen some good things out of Diego. Some bad. All in all he is a very unproven player and I shudder to think what would happen if Reina were out for an extended period.   Our fourth, and quite possibly most astute pickup, was David N'Gog, who joined from Paris St. Germain for 1.5 million pounds.   The kid has quality, but isn't very polished. It'll take a while to get him where we need him to be. What he is, is very quick...has great size, and a pretty good shot. Intrigued by this lad. He scored two nice goals in the preseason, one of them coming against Rangers. Four days later came what was no doubt the biggest signing, Robbie Keane joining from Tottenham Hotspur for an astounding 20.3 million pounds.   To be fair, the money figure is a ridiculous number. Knowing what I've seen so far, this has a good chance to be a flop of epic proportions. We do not have the money (yet) to waste on flops. We've gotta get bang for our buck, and Keane hasn't brought it yet. The match on the 13th against United is the best time for Keane to make his mark. He had better do something soon, or support will turn on him. We've got Marseille a few days later, that's another chance. Keane must score in one of these games. You give the guy the #7 shirt at this club, he better perform.   The final signing, coming on the last day for transfers, was Spaniard Albert Riera, who joined from Espanyol for what is as of yet an unknown fee.   If he doesn't solve the left wing problem, this is just more money poured into a problem position that Rafa hasn't quite figured out how to solve. Honestly, I'm not a fan of this move at all. I don't care how much it cost. Riera provides a good ball from the left side. That's it. He's slow, does not finish well, and flopped at City. A fantastic signing. Well, if he only cost 1 million pounds. But he didn't. He'll be here for two years and get shipped back home.   Tomorrow, international duty.
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Review: WWF King of the Ring 1994, 6/16/1994; from Baltimore, Maryland.

It took me a while to watch this, but I finally did. I had to make time. ___________________   After our National Anthem and introduction of our commentary team (including Art Donovan!), we have Razor Ramon taking on Bam Bam Bigelow in a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Bout.   - Nearly forgot, Bam Bam's accompanied by his MAIN SQUEEZE, Luna Vachon. Like the matchup.   - Razor toothpicked Luna, which allowed Bam Bam to attack. Back and forth stuff, until a Bam Bam resthold, which is a TORTURE RACK. Seriously. Bam Bam goes to the top after some nice moves, but Razor schoolboy's him from the top rope for the victory at 8:25.   Crowd's happy, but the match was nothing special at all. While I liked the matchup, the match itself wasn't so good in execution. Glad we didn't see more from these two, and if we did on television, I haven't seen it. *3/4. ___________________   Todd Pettingill is with Mabel and IRS, and Irwin cuts a bad promo. He does that quite a bit. Mabel's, however, is okay. ___________________ IRS vs. Mabel w/Oscar is obviously our next Quarterfinal Match.   - Oscar raps. That's about it. IRS walks out with no music, and talks about the tax cheats that are populating our crowd tonight.   - I hate Mabel, btw. I hate Art Donovan too. That said, this match could be much worse. Mabel goes up to the second rope, but IRS shakes the ropes, knocking him down. IRS pins Mabel, for the victory at 5:39.   While saying it could be much worse, it's still bad. Bad enough to slap a 1/2* on it and do my best to forget the whole thing. THE WHOLE THING. ___________________   While Stan Lane does an interview with Lex Luger, we watch the video that led to Lex Luger not being able to make the King of the Ring proceedings tonight, as he lost to Jeff Jarrett. Crush attacked. ___________________   Tatanka is facing Owen Hart in our third King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match...   - All that pink. Nice to see Owen. My cousin thinks that Tatanka will win, btw.   - Razor and IRS were fighting in the back, as Owen and Tatanka went to a chinlock. Good timing! Tatanka tries a sunset flip during his comeback, but Owen sits on him for the three count at 8:20.   Quite good. Better than I remembered as well. Tatanka's no **** guy, but he could work back in the day. Which was good, I mean, with that gimmick and all. **3/4. ___________________   Todd Pettingill is with Shawn Michaels and Diesel, interviewing them before Diesel's big match later on. We flashback to their attack on Bret Hart during RAW a few weeks ago, as well. ___________________   In our last King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, we have Jeff Jarrett vs. The 1-2-3 Kid.   - Jarrett's ring attire is always really homosexual. The way Art Donovan asks about everyone is super annoying. Is it too much to ask that the guest commentator be educated about the product?   - Jarrett gives Kid a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX...awesome. If I was a wrestler, some variation of that would be my finisher. Kid pushed Jarrett off the top and crossbodied him for two, I haven't watched this in a while, but I was sure it was over. Jarrett tries a FIGURE-FOUR, but Kid cradles him for the win at 4:39. Jarrett attacks after the match...ONE PILEDRIVER. TWO PILEDRIVER. THREE PILEDRIVER. I believe the 1-2-3 Kid has died.   **1/2, post-match attack included. How could anyone not like that beatdown. I'll reference this beatdown later. ___________________   A video for the New Generation shows up (also to be referenced later), and then, Bret Hart cuts a promo. Obviously, for the next match. ___________________   Champion vs. Champion, Diesel (Intercontinental Champion) w/Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart w/Jim Neidhart for the World Wrestling Federation Championship.   - Bret's new theme debuts. Description of this match and others in the future that I find to be needing it will be more detailed. We'll see if Diesel carries his share of the load. After Diesel missed a charge and his knee rammed into the ringpost, Bret went to work. Really went to work. Shawn clotheslines Bret with the referees back turned, ending that. So Neidhart gives chase, but he can't catch Shawn.   - Diesel botches a bearhug, and winds up in Bret's guard on the canvas. OOPS, wrong form of entertainment. Bret misses a pescado, as the ten minute mark passes...   - Constant double teams on Bret follow, and with the referee distracted, Shawn loosens a turnbuckle pad. I suppose Diesel has carried his share of the load. Bret rams Diesel into the exposed turnbuckle, and applies the SHARPSHOOTER. Shawn's going nuts on the outside, and when Diesel gets out of the hold, he can't even do an Irish whip. That blown up. Bret gives Diesel a ROLLING BOSTON CRAB when Diesel stands over him, but Diesel makes the ropes. Diesel hits Neidhart and Shawn clocks Bret with a title belt, then Diesel elbowdrops Bret, for two. Neidhart runs in, and clotheslines Diesel after a JACKKNIFE on Bret, leading to a DQ win for Diesel at 22:51. Then Neidhart leaves, and Shawn piledrives Bret, leading to officials making their entry and forcing the heels to the back.   Epic carryjob from Bret here. No doubt Nash's best match to that point. ***1/2, even though he was blown up near the end. ___________________   After Pettingill interviews Jerry Lawler, we have Razor Ramon vs. IRS in our first King of the Ring Semifinal Match.   - IRS cuts an awful promo, one the likes of which cannot even be repeated in seriousness. Geez, keep the guy away from the mic. One good thing about this, it's the end of Razor and IRS' little vendetta. Razor dominates a boring contest, and finishes with THE EDGE at 5:13.   *. Not bery fun. ___________________ Todd Pettingill was supposed to interview the 1-2-3 Kid, but he didn't show up for the interview. HOWEVER, he made it to the ring for his King of the Ring Semifinal Match against Owen Hart.   - Owen gave Kid a baseball slide to start, which hurt Kid's neck even more. Then both guys go to war. Could you imagine if this match had gone, say, 12-15 minutes? Owen powerbombs Kid on a Kid rana attempt, and Owen locks in the SHARPSHOOTER. Kid gives at 3:38.   Wow, what a short little match. *** easy. Felt like WCW Nitro with the bumps and overall shortness. ___________________   Stan Lane and Ted DiBiase are talking during a 900 line thing, then we have Yokozuna and Crush w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette vs. The Headshrinkers w/Captain Lou Albano and Afa for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   - Fatworld. Would it have been so hard to have the Steiners hold the belts longer or more often? Seriously, after the Bret/Owen breakup, have the Quebecers drop the belts. Not some bullshit with Men on a Mission. Not interested in this match, but I like this version of Crush much better. He's a tough dude.   - Lex Luger ran down and distracted Crush, but it didn't lead to a Headshrinker victory. Close though. Fatu superkicks Crush, and that does get the win at 9:34. Luger and Crush fight, and the Headshrinkers come in to help Luger get the best of it. Yay!   Who cares, really, just a throwaway matchup involving a makeshift team and a pile of shit team. *1/2. Meaningless. ___________________   Todd Pettingill interviews Owen Hart before his match with Razor Ramon, in the King of the Ring Final. Nothing important was said.   - I like Razor's back suplex off the top. Owen backdrops him out on a RAZOR'S EDGE attempt, and the Anvil comes down to clothesline Razor. Uh...   - Owen comes off the top with a big elbowdrop, getting the pinfall win at 6:36.   Sizeable babyface reaction, not that I blame anyone. Owen was always very likeable, even during this phase. **1/4. ___________________   While they're putting the boots to Razor, Raymond Rougeau is with Bret Hart, who doesn't really care about Owen's King of the Ring victory.   Coronation. Owen makes Todd Pettingill get on his knees, and then proclaims himself to be the KING OF HARTS! ___________________   Finally, our main event, which exemplifies our NEW GENERATION. Jerry Lawler vs. Roddy Piper.   - Lawler talked trash, before Piper's bagpipe entrance. Lawler humiliated some kid on RAW, and Piper brings the kid with him to the ring. Piper came to kick ass, he says.   - This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. When I watched this show the first time around, I used my fast-forward button. A piledriver occurs, which has lost its impact after the four times it's been used earlier. Lawler has brass knuckles, hits Piper, as the referee is out. The kid keeps Lawler from getting the win, and Piper back suplexes Lawler for the win at 12:16.   Thank God that's over. A DUD for sure. Of course, I'm trying to be nice. That match was awful. ___________________   Rating: Poor. A very poor outing from the WWF. Owen winning KotR is choice. The rest, blah.   Best Segment: Bret vs. Diesel. Strange with the Anvil and all.   Worst: Lawler vs. Piper. Duh. ___________________   I'll review RAW and Nitro sometime soon.  
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Review: WWF Monday Night RAW from Detroit, Michigan, 3/11/02.

Yeah, RAW, from Detroit. ___________________   Gene Okerlund introduces the show, much like he has been with all the WrestleMania related programming. The first match on the card is the Dudley Boys and William Regal vs. the Hardy Boys and Rob Van Dam.   - RVD started things off with a pescado onto Regal, which was great. The dudleys go for a table during the match, but it gets kicked into D-Von's face. That's also great.   - There's a shmoz, and after multiple finishers, it ends with the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH onto William Regal, getting the pinfall at 4:01. **. Good way to start things off. ___________________   You see, there's an emergency board meeting right now. Thanks to Ric Flair, this company is in a state of emergency. Vince McMahon wants the board to choose what direction the company will head in. I always hate these board meetings. Just a big waste of time is all they are.   Kurt Angle has a microphone in the ring, and he wants to talk about crime, cause this is Detroit, and all. He says that he was robbed of a WrestleMania title shot a few weeks ago, and turns to Kane. He knows that Kane is the Big Red Machine, but he says that Kurt Angle is the Big Red White and Blue Machine. I LOL'd. He's facing Kane at WrestleMania, calls the fans stupid...which brings out Booker T. Booker T says that Kurt Angle's pissing him off, so the fans cheer. Then he says, that these people are BEYOND stupid. It's all their fault he doesn't have the Japanese shampoo endorsement, which of course, brings out Edge. Edge wants to face Booker T at WrestleMania, and then the conversation turns into how white Kurt Angle is. Kurt Angle says he has soul, and does a spinaroonie. Then they challenge Edge and a partner of his choice.   Stephanie McMahon has HHH's dog, she hates it, has a court order which says she owns it, yadayadayada ___________________   The second match on the show is Rikishi vs. Test.   - Oh no. Sounds terrible. On Heat, Test helped Mr. Perfect beat Rikishi. So we have this.   - Mr. Perfect tried to interfere, even though it was thwarted, Test still pinned Rikishi after the big boot at 1:57. 1/4*. Not good at all. ___________________   Chris Jericho hates dogs, you see. The dog shits on the floor, and Stephanie makes he and the dog leave. He ties the dog to a door handle on a limo, and leaves. I can't believe they made him into Stephanie's bitch. Oh wait, I do believe it, I just didn't like it.   DDP's trying to help Christian, but they encounter Billy and Chuck. Christian wants to face Billy tonight. He believes that he'll be able to end his losing streak. That's not a bad thing, that's A GOOD THING.   Vince McMahon shows the board of directors a clip in which Flair accidentally punched a fan and was arrested. Big whoop. ___________________   Al Snow is facing Goldust for the Hardcore Title now...   - I love Goldust's gold weapons. Funny stuff. Al Snow wins the title after a SNOWPLOW onto a trash can, at 1:03. *. ___________________   Chris Jericho jumped in the limo cause he wanted to go buy something, and the driver ran over the dog. Poor dog. HHH is pretty pissed off. ___________________   We have that little tag team match, which is Kurt Angle and Booker T vs. Edge and...THE BIG SHOW.   - Hoo-rah for mystery partners.   - Go to the end, ANGLE SLAM on Show, ANKLE LOCK on Show, and he taps out at 4:38. *1/2. ___________________   At WWF New York, Jacqueline, Torrie Wilson and Terri are there, parading around in bikinis. Yeah. ___________________   Billy w/Chuck is taking on Christian w/DDP...   - DDP goes on commentary for a bit. Nothing wrong with that, although there's defnitely something wrong with Christian's temper tantrums. I've seen enough shitty booking and ideas on this show to last a lifetime.   - As the referee was distracted, DDP snuck in and gave Christian a DIAMOND CUTTER. So, that helped Christian to break his losing streak after the pinfall at 2:08. 1/2*.   After the bout, Christian gives DDP a reverse DDT. Seeing as DDP's the European Champion, obviously Christian wants a title shot. ___________________   Back to the board of directors, Vince wants a vote of confidence in him. Whatever. ___________________   Lita and Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler and Jazz is the next match...   - On Smackdown, Jazz attacked Lita during her match with Stacy Keibler. Plus, Jazz, Lita and Trish will be facing each other at WrestleMania, so this is self-explanatory.   - There's a brawl, Trish kicks Lita on accident, and Jazz pins her at 2:24. DUD. Boy oh boy, this show sucks a fat one. ___________________   Stephanie McMahon is on her way to the ring, and she says that it wasn't her fault what happened to HHH's dog. HHH comes down, chases her and tosses her into the ring...and before the PEDIGREE, Jericho hits him in the knee with the SLEDGEHAMMER. OMG. "I think I tore my quad." During the commercial break, Jericho chopblocked HHH while he was being helped to the back. What a dastardly human being. HHH does the whole stretcher job, and we go back to the...   Board meeting. Vince gets full authority now, but they can review this decision after WrestleMania. Flair cuts a good, calm promo about how he's going to get revenge on the Undertaker, at ANY COST. ___________________   The NWO is in the back, and see, they can't wait until WrestleMania. But right now, they're going to face Steve Austin and the Rock in a handicap match.   - Personally, I cannot believe this match was on television. On television the week before a PPV, no less.   - The black and white effect during the NWO entrance is fantastic. In the late 90's-2000, any of these matchups (example...Austin/Nash, Hall/Rock) would've been big money drawing matches. I wouldn't have had Rock and Hogan interact at all during this match. Just my opinion.   - The match is ridiculously formula, and it finishes when Hogan DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG on Rock at 9:13. Austin attacked Hogan post-match, but Hall and Nash beat he and the Rock down. *1/4 for the whole thing...where's the spraypaint? End show. ___________________   Rating: Bad. Really bad. This was one of the worst RAW's I've watched in a long time. If not for the novelty of the main event, I'd have called it terrible.   Best Segment: Opening 6-man tag.   Worst: Take your pick. ___________________   WrestleMania X8 review will be up next, but there's no rush. Unless WrestleMania VIII gets posted on Tuesday, WM X8 is the only thing I have to review for a week and a half.
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Review: WWF St. Valentine's Day Massacre, from Memphis, Tennessee, 2/14/1999.

I wasn't able to watch RAW on Monday, and I wasn't able to watch ECW, nor am I going to be able to watch Smackdown this Friday. So, to fill this space, I figured I could put something good up. ___________________   The opening video to this event is great...haven't seen this one in 4 or 5 years, I think. Michael Cole is on commentary with Jerry Lawler...oh no. Rock vs. Mankind and Austin vs. McMahon. OMG! ___________________   The first match on the card is Goldust vs. Bluedust.   Blow-by-blow: Bluedust = Blue Meanie. The backstory is ridiculous, I can't really get into it without wasting space. Goldust starts the match with a spinebuster, and punches away at Bluedust, who bails to the outside after a clothesline. Goldust goes to grab him after a stall, but Bluedust gains control and humps Goldust's leg during a spinning toehold inside the ring. Goldust kicks him away, and pulls up Bluedust's outfit so that his ass shows. Thanks for that. Goldust goes for SHATTERED DREAMS, but that misses. Bluedust goes up top and misses a moonsault, which gives Goldust the opening for a CURTAIN CALL, which also gets the three count at 3:08. After the match, Goldust gives Bluedust SHATTERED DREAMS.   Match Analysis: Usually, I'd just DUD this. But it's offensive, so -*. Self explanatory, isn't it? One of those things that makes me embarassed to be watching this, at that.   On Sunday Night Heat, Vince McMahon called Steve Austin to the ring and spat on him. What a fellow. ___________________   The next match is Al Snow w/Head vs. Bob Holly for the vacant WWF Hardcore Championship.   Blow-by-blow: Man, I miss this belt. Snow attacks at the beginning of the match, and tosses Holly over the top rope. Say goodbye to the ring, cause that's the last you'll see it during this match. I can't believe that Bob Holly still has this "tough-guy, rah rah rah I'm hardcore" gimmick after all this time. Hell, I didn't even think he'd be around 3 years later. They brawl through the crowd, and Holly slams Snow on some stairs as they go toward the back of the arena. Holly extinguishes Snow's head, and he hits Snow over the head with a glass cup. Snow extinguishes Holly, but Holly hits Snow with one of those, watch out for the wet floor signs. Holly hits Snow with a garbage can, but Snow comes back and hits Holly with a telephone. Snow then throws a garbage can at Holly, but Holly grabs a few floor tiles and breaks them over Snow's head. Holly hits Snow with a beer cooler, and with a pan. Snow gains control, and breaks some mops over the back of Holly. Perry Saturn cries. They're outside, where Snow covers Holly for a 2 count. Snow rams Holly into a production truck, but Holly grabs a "no parking" sign and hits Snow with it. They inch closer and closer to the river, but before they get down there, a whole lot of stuff happens. Snow rams Holly into a concrete wall, but Holly makes a comeback and rams him into steel fencing. Snow returns the favor, and chokes Holly with barbed wire. For some reason, there's a stop sign lying around in the brush near the river, so Holly picks it up and clobbers Snow with it. They're at the river now, where Bob Holly moves a wheelbarrow. WHAT? Holly rams Snow into a tree, and hits him with some object that was hanging from said tree. Snow chokes Holly, which allows him to toss Holly into the frigid Mississippi River. Man, I loved watching this when I was younger. Holly slams Snow into the water when Snow charges at him, and hits him with a tire. Snow comes back with a shoe to the face of Holly (yes, they find all this stuff on the ground), and grabs a rolled up section of steel fencing. He opens it up, but Holly hits him with a stick in the back, and wraps Snow up in the fencing, which allows him to gain a pinfall for the victory at 9:58. The fencing kept Snow from kicking out, so Bob Holly is our new Hardcore Champion. Holly goes to the ring to grab the title, as Snow is trapped outside in the freezing cold.   Match Analysis: Man, that was fun, and a reminder of what the Hardcore Title used to allow us to see. Now, I know that NOT having the Hardcore Title leads to backstage brawls and that sort of stuff being portrayed as meaning more, but honestly, I think fans would like it if they saw this sort of stuff all the time, as opposed to once or twice a year. But that's just my opinion. Anyhow, this match showed most of what was good about the Hardcore division. It also showed a lot of what was bad about it, that meaning you can only push the out-of-arena brawls so far. **1/2. The match held up, surprisingly. ___________________   Prior to our next match, WWF.com had a camera backstage with the MINISTRY OF DARKNESS. You know, four of the people in this group have been a World Champion at some point in their career? No shit. I don't count the TNA Title (or the current NWA Title) as a World Title, though. Sorry, Christian. Not that I'm saying he was a bad champion or would be a bad champion if he had it again, but if you had told me BRADSHAW would hold the WWE Title, I would've laughed at you. If you'd have told me he'd do it with a stockbroker gimmick, I'd have laughed harder. ___________________   Unfortunately, that promo leads to bigger and more terrible things. By that, I mean that Mideon is facing the Big Bossman.   Blow-by-blow: While I liked Bossman's later persona, this cannot be good. Mideon carries an eye to the ring in a jar filled with yellow liquid, honestly, I think it looks like he pissed in it. They lock-up to start, and Bossman gains control at the outset with a shoulderblock. Bossman chokes Mideon with his boot, and tells the ringside crowd to kiss his ass. Gee. Mideon clotheslines Bossman afterward, but The Guardian Angel quickly tosses Mideon over the top rope. Bossman grabs a chair to hit Mideon with, but swings and hits the ringpost instead. Mideon bites him, and rams his hand into the steel steps. Bossman gives Mideon a nice "rope-clothesline," and we go back in. Bossman chokes, and Mideon returns the favor soon after. This heel vs. heel stuff just doesn't work. Bossman grabs onto his nose to get Mideon to stop, and splashes onto him in the corner. Why is this on PPV? A gigantic "BORING" chant commences, as Bossman applies a full-nelson on Mideon. Mideon reverses the hold and gives Bossman a back suplex, for a 2 count. Bossman tries a powerbomb, but Mideon backdrops him, as they both clothesline each other in the center of the ring. Back up, and after a Mideon back elbow, we get the BOSSMAN SLAM for the win at 6:20. After the match, the Ministry makes their way to ringside. Oh no. Is this going to be a bloodbath? Well, the lights go out, and here comes the Undertaker. Bossman is down in the ring as Taker is in the aisleway, and Viscera splashes Bossman three times. Everyone except Taker and Bearer carry him to the back...we all know where this goes and how dumb it got before it ended. You can say that for every single storyline Vince Russo has ever written.   Match Analysis: Another awful match. Another awful rating, although on a different premise. DUD. I never want to see any part of this again. ___________________   Before our next match, Mark Henry, D'Lo Brown and Ivory are with Kevin Kelly, for an interview. We see a clip of Ivory arguing with Debra on Heat, which brings us to...   Mark Henry and D'Lo Brown w/ Ivory vs. Jeff Jarrett & Owen Hart w/Debra for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   Blow-by-blow: Before the match, Sexual Chocolate gives Ivory a Valentine's Day present. I'll give Vince Russo some credit here, he made Mark Henry entertaining. After all this time, nobody else has figured out how to do that. Owen and Henry start, and Henry pounds away at him. He clotheslines Owen, and tags in D'Lo, who gives Owen a back elbow. Owen gives D'Lo a bulldog, and he tags in Jarrett, who dropkicks him. D'Lo powerslams Jarrett in return, and slams Owen before clotheslining both of them. Owen tries to kick D'Lo, who pushs him off the apron. That allows Jarrett to give D'Lo a single arm DDT, which causes Owen to come in, for a double team. They both clothesline D'Lo, and Owen clotheslines D'Lo at the corner, before tagging in Jarrett. Owen gives D'Lo a spinebuster, and Jarrett comes off the 2nd rope with a fistdrop for 2. Owen tries for a suplex, but D'Lo reverses it into one of his own. D'Lo goes for the tag, but Owen gives him an enziguri in order to prevent it. Jarrett tags in, and along with Owen he gives D'Lo a double back elbow for 2. Jarrett goes to a short chinlock, and when Owen tags in, he gives D'Lo a spinning heel kick for 2. Owen brings Henry in via distraction, and D'Lo comes back with a crossbody for 2. Owen charges into D'Lo shoulderfirst, and goes for a 10 punch in the corner...which gets reversed into a SKY HIGH. Jarrett and Henry tag in, but Henry misses an avalanche in the corner. D'Lo dropkicks both of his opponents, and gives Jarrett a SKY HIGH for 2. D'Lo slams Owen, and legdrops him, as Debra gets onto the ring apron. Ivory comes over to argue with her, as D'Lo separates them. While this is going on, Owen hits Henry in the knee with the GUITAR, which leads Jarrett to apply the FIGURE-FOUR, for the win at 9:34. Jarrett and Owen retain, but after the match, Ivory tries to rip Debra's clothes off. Jarrett stops that, and covers Debra up with he and Owen's tag titles.   Match Analysis: Not the best match, but better than some of the other stuff that's been on this show. *1/2. Liked the finish, even though I generally hate the guitar use...but seeing as Owen Hart won the match, yes, I like it. ___________________   Kevin Kelly is with Mankind, you see, on Heat, he was attacked by the Rock, and bludgeoned in the knee with some sort of weapon.   Before the next match, there's a Val Venis/Ken Shamrock hype video...   Obviously, that means that our next match is Val Venis w/Ryan Shamrock vs. Ken Shamrock with Billy Gunn as the guest referee, for the Intercontinental Title.   Blow-by-blow: I'd rather not talk about the Ryan Shamrock thing. Not only that, but this storyline goes the route that you'd expect it to go, that being the land of "this makes no sense." The whole Hello, Ladies thing commences, until Ken Shamrock runs out and attacks Venis. He didn't get the better of it, meaning that he was clotheslined and worked over in the corner. Val Venis takes him down with a snapmare, and Gunn counts the fall slowly, although it still gets 2. Shamrock takes Venis to the buckle, and clotheslines him, before kicking him twice in the back. Shamrock forearms Venis, on the outside of the ring, and they quickly come back in. Shamrock slams Venis, and kneedrops him after choking away. Shamrock goes for a suplex, but Venis blocks it, and gives him an inverted atomic drop. Crowd's dead, and has been all night. Look at the last PPV from Memphis I reviewed...the crowd reaction was the same. Why does WWE still run PPV's in Memphis? Venis chokes Shamrock, and elbowdrops him for a slow 2 count. VEnis gives Shamrock a double-underhook suplex, and a backbreaker submission.Venis gives up on that, and slams Shamrock into the ringpost outside the ring. Venis gives Shamrock a chinlock, and a surfboard style pinning combination for a 2 count. Val goes to a chinlock for a while, and knees Shamrock in the gut when they get up for 2. Venis drops Shamrock along the top rope, and he chokes Shamrock with his boot. Shamrock comes back with a high kick, and a DDT for a 2 count, seeing as Gunn wouldn't count. Shamrock gives Venis a back suplex during a Venis sleeperhold, and Ken follows it up with a powerslam for 2. Venis gives Shamrock a fisherman's suplex for 2, and Shamrock counters soon after with a la magistral for a 2 count. Venis gives Shamrock a russian leg sweep, and gyrates, before mounting Shamrock and punching away at him. Venis is doing everything, but there's this one little problem so far. SHAMROCK ISN'T SELLING. His face has stayed the same all bout, I'm serious. Venis goes to the top, but Shamrock slams him off and gives him a hurricanrana for a 1 count. Shamrock gives Venis a belly-to-belly suplex, and applies the ANKLE LOCK. Ryan Shamrock pulls Venis to the ropes, and Shamrock goes to the outside, to confront their sister. Shamrock is starting to GET INTO THE ZONE, so she slaps him. Billy Gunn tries to prevent things from setting off, but Shamrock pushes him. Gunn hits Shamrock and tosses him into the ring, where Venis gives him a small package (harharhar) for 3 at 15:53. We have a new Intercontinental Champion, that being Val Venis. After the match, Shamrock attacks Gunn. After Gunn gets up, he runs back to the ring and attacks Val Venis. Yippie.   Match Analysis: Needless to say, that title change didn't mean shit. With the Gunn thing, it became an after thought. Even worse, the Billy Gunn/Ken Shamrock thing was never paid off, making this all a gigantic waste of time. They blew their chance to make Gunn the IC Champ at the Royal Rumble. Too bad. Match was nothing great, and that being the fault of Ken Shamrock. *1/2. ___________________   Part two of our program is next, as is HHH and X-Pac vs. Kane and Chyna. First there's a video, because Chyna split from DX, you see.   Blow-by-blow: The full DX entrance finally gets the crowd exited, as does HHH wiping his ass with one of those Chyna Syndrome shirts and throwing it at her. Shane McMahon's on commentary, which is nice. He's a funny guy. HHH and Kane start, when HHH attacks him. Kane clotheslines HHH, but misses a charge to the corner, although he comes right back out with a clothesline. Kane misses an elbowdrop, which allows X-Pac to tag in. Or should I say, "X-Punk." Chyna comes in, and shoulderblocks X-Pac, but she misses a charge to the corner. X-Pac goes for the BRONCOBUSTER, but he misses, and Kane tags back in. He and Chyna argue, so X-Pac kicks Kane. Kane chokes him, but HHH attacks him and goes back to the corner, so he can tag in. HHH goes to the top, and clotheslines Kane, but Chyna hits him, allowing Kane to regain control. Kane slams HHH, and goes up to the top, where he clotheslines HHH. Chyna comes in, and tries a suplex on HHH, but HHH reverses it, which Chyna counters as well. Chyna slams HHH, but misses an elbow drop, allowing X-Pac to tag in. Kane tags in too, but misses a charge to the corner. HHH comes in, and DX gives Kane a double suplex. HHH slams Chyna off the top into Kane, and DX gives him a double DDT, before clotheslining him over the top rope. Kane pulls X-Pac out of the ring, and they fight, but Kane hits the ringpost on accident. X-Pac hits Shane O-Mac, and we go back into the ring. X-Pac tries a spinning heel kick, but Kane catches him and slams him to the canvas. Chyna tags in, and powerslams X-Pac for a 2 count. Kane rams X-Pac into the buckle after the tag, and clotheslines him. Chyna tags back in, and drops X-Pac, nut first onto the top rope for a 2 count. Chyna gives X-Pac a sleeper, but X-Pac back suplexes his way out of it. HHH makes the not-so-hot tag, and cleans house on Kane. HHH gives Chyna a high knee, but Kane pulls him over the top rope. X-Pac comes in during an apparent ref bump, and is finally able to give Chyna the BRONCOBUSTER! Shane comes in the ring, which causes X-Pac to chase him all the way to the back. HHH rams Kane into the steel steps, and tosses him back in, where he gives Chyna the knee-to-facebuster. HHH goes for the PEDIGREE on Chyna, but Kane chokeslams him and the ref awakens as Chyna pins HHH, for the win at 14:45.   Match Analysis: I read that Scott Keith gave this match ****. Wait a second. HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHA . Ok, now for what I thought about it. It was good, but not anything that I'd even think of giving a great rating to. Too much excess in the finish, but more than that, the crowd didn't do anything throughout. Crowd is KILLING this show dead, but I'll still give this **. ___________________   There's an ambulance in the back, because they're putting over how brutal this match could be, and we also get a nice video package, featuring everything in this feud.   Yeah, that's right. It's THE ROCK vs. Mankind in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWF Championship.   Blow-by-blow: Everyone knows the rules. Everyone knows I generally do not like this stipulation. Mankind turns his back, much like at the Royal Rumble, and the Rock attacks him. When the "Rocky Sucks" chant starts, Mankind turns his back and then hits Rock with his title belt, which gets an 8 count. Mankind bites Rock, so Rock bails. They go to the back, where Mankind throws Rock into these little light structures they have up by the entrance. Mankind does it again, and they go a little further back up the aisle, where Rock gains control. Rock rams Mankind into the stage, but Mankind comes back and rams him into a table, before DDT'ing him THROUGH a table. Nice. They go back toward the ring, but Rock back suplexes him on the concrete. Ouch. At ringside, Mankind rams him into the steps, and brings him in for a...PEOPLE'S ELBOW! He misses it, and Rock knocks him out of the ring, before suplexing him three times on the floor at ringside. Rock goes on commentary to enlighten us, but Mankind tackles him, and clears the table for something crazy. Mankind places Rock on the table, and elbowdrops him from the apron, not breaking the table. Mankind powers water onto Rock, and brings steps into the ring. Rock kicks the stairs into Mick's face, and grabs a chair, that he hits Mankind with multiple times. Rock accidentally hits the top rope with a chair, and the chair backfires and hits him in the face. Mankind clotheslines him down to the floor, and attempts to piledrive him. He doesn't, so he just hits Rock instead, and gives him a swinging neckbreaker. He rams him into the announce table, and sets things up for a piledriver. Rock backdrops him off the table (Mick's head hit the table on the way down, and his leg hit the ring bell. Ouch.), and goes into the ring. Rock grabs the steel steps which were already in there, and throws them onto Mankind. Goodness. Back in, where Rock slams Mankind and gives him the CORPORATE ELBOW. Rock goes to grab a mic, as that move only got a 5 count. Rock sings us a fantastic song, until Mankind applies a MANDIBLE CLAW, which also happens to knock the referee outside of the ring. Mankind makes the referee count to 9, until the Rock gets up and lowblows Mankind. Rock gives Mankind a DDT, which only gets a 5 count. Rock swings and misses with a chair, so Mankind double arm DDT's him onto it, for a 9 count. SOCKO, but Rock lowblows Mankind. SOCKO again, but we get ROCK BOTTOM, for an 8 count. Both get up, grab a chair, and hit each other at the same time, which causes both to be down for a 10 count at 21:53. Both do stretcher jobs, as the crowd shits all over the match. Fuck you guys, you don't deserve to be rewarded with a good finish to anything. Both wrestlers leave in ambulances...yes, Mick Foley really went out on his back.   Match Analysis: Draw knocks a bit off, but this was great. Loved the in-match promo, and the overall violence that took place. I'll probably watch this one again before the program expires. ***3/4. Better than the I Quit match, I dare say. ___________________   Our main event, preceded by a hype video, is Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon in a Steel Cage Match. If Austin wins, he gets a shot at the WWF Champion at WrestleMania. No Corporate members are allowed to interfere, or they'll be FIRED!   Blow-by-blow: I can't believe this was 9 years ago. NINE! This is the first "Austin era" show I've reviewed, as well. I began timing when Vince hit Austin for the first time, which he did when Austin was trying to enter the cage. Before that, Austin was inside, not allowing Vince to enter. Austin falls off the cage, and feigns injury...once Vince comes over, Austin clotheslines him at ringside, and they fight into the crowd. Uh, even though I know that they get in the cage, there's a serious logic flaw in this booking. I don't even know if I've seen a main event from the Attitude Era without an "in the crowd" portion. Vince goes up the stairs to leave, but Austin brings him back down to ringside. Vince and Austin try to climb up the cage, but Austin knocks Vince off and through the Spanish Announce Table. YES! A stretcher comes to the ring, which makes Austin grab a mic. He says that he didn't win. "You think this is over, ah-ah." So he goes out, chases down the stretcher, and rams it into the steel cage. He hits him with the stretcher, and tosses McMahon into the cage, starting the actual match after 12:23 (my time). Austin clotheslines Vince, as the crowd has definitely awakened for this one. Austin goes up to the 2nd rope, and elbowdrops Vince, then he does the same thing again. Austin is about to leave the cage, but Vince gives him the finger. Ha. Austin returns to the ring, to stomp a mudhole and walk it dry on Vince McMahon. Vince lowblows Austin, and rams Austin into the cage. Vince climbs up the cage, but Austin pulls him back down and rams him right into the cage. Austin rams him into the cage again, which makes Vince bleed. Austin goes to leave via climbing up and out of the cage, but once he gets near the floor, Vince gives him two middle fingers. Austin goes back in, and rams Vince into the cage, before a STONE COLD STUNNER. Austin goes to leave the cage, but Paul Wight (the Big Show/Giant) comes through the ring and rams Austin into the cage. Wight tosses Austin hard as possible into the cage, which causes the cage door to break and swing open, giving Austin room to get his feet onto the floor, winning the bout at 20:26. That's also the end of the show.   Match Analysis: Not the greatest match...it doesn't really hold up all that well. Just like this show, I'd say. Anyhow, it was basically a 20 minute squash. *1/2. Wasnt' even close to being Vince's best match. ___________________   Rating: Ah...this one was VERY close to being put in the terrible category. Lots of crap. Lots of *1/2 stuff, too. I think I use that rating more than any other, but that isn't by coincidence. I suppose I have to call it...bad. Honestly, had I ordered it, I would've been pissed off. Non-finish in the WWF Title match, stupid finish in the main, and crap for almost the entirety of the show.   Best Segment: Rock vs. Mankind in Last Man Standing.   Worst Segment: Goldust vs. Bluedust. Awful.   All that said, I'm glad I watched this. It was a good nostalgia trip to an era that (match quality aside) I still enjoy for some reason. Yeah, I know a lot of dumb stuff happened, but that doesn't bother me at all. Could've been worse, as in, they could've posted WrestleMania XV. ___________________   I'll either put the RAW/Nitro review up tomorrow, or on Sunday. I'll be gone all day Saturday.
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Review: WWE Vengeance 2007, from Houston, Texas; 6/24/2007.

Okay, gotta get this one out of the way. Looks good. ___________________   Barry Windham and Mike Rotundaoaoaoaoaoaoa are introduced, prior to the Hardy Boys vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Titles.   - Matt and Jeff are obviously very over. Duh. Legwork on Matt begins the heat period. Actually, the no heat period. Funny how I'm watching this and Murdoch was just released. I'm indifferent to that news.   - Jeff tagged in, cleaned house, but Murdoch pushed him off the top rope. Cade pins Jeff after a sky high at 8:52. **. Okay match. ___________________   King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in the back...I wasn't watching during the whole King Booker thing, but his accent is hilarious. ___________________   We see an Eddie Guerrero video to fit in with the whole Night of Champions theme, then we've got Jimmy Wang Yang challenging for Chavo Guerrero's Cruiserweight Title.   - Another video was shown during the entrances, this one being a...DEAN MALENKO video. We saw him in the back as well, then, the match begins. Yang's gimmick is shit.   - Good back and forth action. Much aerial stuff, and Chavo hipblocking Yang into the buckle was pretty noice. Seems like we're building to a good ending.   - Yang misses a moonsault, but counters a Gory Bomb as well, so he doesn't get beaten as quickly. He still loses of course, after a frog splash to the back by Chavo at 9:15. ***1/4, highly entertaining, most of all, had a clean finish and no dumbness. Yeah, no dumbness. ___________________   JR talks about the Vince McMahon blown up limo thing, and then we watch a video. Worst angle ever. Afterward, we see that there's a poll on WWE.com asking us who did it. Paul London's inclusion was LOL worthy. ___________________   Prior to CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro for the vacant ECW Title, we got to see a Tazz highlight package. Oh wait, Taz. Not Tazz.   - Not much heat, cause, you know, we're in Houston. Bad Blood 2003 didn't have the noisiest crowd either.   - No GO TO SLEEP, but a Nitro swinging neckbreaker picks up the victory at 8:02. Okay. *1/2. Drab match, not a finish with impact...something I could've done without. Both seemed disinterested. ___________________   Orton and Foley do a ridiculous fake tension bit in the back, honest to God, this is WWE at its worst. I don't buy segments like this. Nobody does. The best way to get through to the fans is have guys take chairshot after chairshot and have the wrestler delivering the chairshots lick the blood of his opponent, BJ Penn style. Or choke them out into unconsciousness while the officials stand aside because they're so terrified it'll happen to them. The pull-apart bullshit sucks, and so does trading barbs in the back. Why talk when you're standing close enough to kick the guy's ass? Makes no sense. Anyway, WWE's attempts at drama constantly keep me from becoming interested in their product. Brutal stuff. ___________________   Ricky Steamboat is introduced, prior to Umaga vs. Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Championship.   - Too many champions going out first. Santino shakes Steamboat's hand prior to the contest. Nice touch. I guess I'll see how bad Santino is in ring, given that this will be longer than the usual two minute RAW match. Oh, wait. Guess not! Umaga gets DQ'd for excessive punching at 2:35. What the fuck? DUD thanks to that finish. Umaga squashes Santino after the bell. Obviously that was going to happen. ___________________   Some dude says that Vince McMahon's "death" is under investigation...for fuck's sake. ___________________   Magnum TA's in the crowd, as we watch Ric Flair vs. MVP for the United States Championship.   - MVP and Magnum did a bit of a faceoff. Nice touch there. A few elbows from MVP opened Flair up, but even some color couldn't save this match. It's not good. MVP pokes Flair in the eye, and gives him the PLAYMAKER, for the pinfall victory at 8:41. *. Really bad, but I feel obligated to give a star for Flair. But bad, like I said. ___________________   Todd Grisham is with John Cena, who then argues with Edge. That was far better than the Orton/Foley segment. Anything's better than talking low and sounding like it's the most serious moment of your life. Which it is not. ___________________   Rick Martel(!) and Tony Garea are in the crowd, to watch Jimmy Snuka and Sgt. Slaughter face Deuce and Domino w/Cherry for the WWE Tag Team Titles.   - Heels make fun of Martel and Garea prior to the match. Always nice to see Snuka though. If Snuka comes off the top, I'll mark.   - Problem is, Snuka can't run the ropes. Poor guy. No heat, bringing me to my next point. Only do shows with legends on them in the Northeast, St. Louis, or Chicago. WrestleMania fits too. Otherwise, don't. At least Slaughter can actually work. However, Snuka goes to the top, and his son reverses the crossbody for the win at 6:30. Nice touch. 1/2*. Heels attack afterward, until Martel and Garea make the save. ___________________   Batista vs. Edge is a Last Chance World Heavyweight Title Match. Batista does not win, he does not get another shot at Edge while he's champion.   - Harley Race is in the crowd. Yeah, boy.   - Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Michael Cole's little nicknames for everyone? "Smackdown's Resident Redneck!" "The Ultimate Opportunist!" Hate that fucking guy. Not feeling this show, either. These two tried the rasslin for a little too long. Gotta brawl, yo.   - Business picked up after a little while, but Edge lowblowed Batista for the DQ at 12:47. **1/4. Dull all around.   Wait a second, Teddy Long comes out, and restarts the match. Fooled me. If Edge gets disqualified, he loses his title.   - So, uh, Edge speared Batista really early, but couldn't get the win. Batista gives Edge a powerbomb on the floor, but he gets counted out at 2:07. I must take something off on principle. Final rating for the match is *3/4. Lame ass match. Batista Bomb after the match...okay. ___________________   Candice Michelle vs. Melina for the Women's Title...   - Good luck with this match. Terrible stuff. Candice wins with a spinwheel kick at 4:20. DUD. New champ, btw. ___________________   Prior to this match, JBL wanted recognition. The ring announcer read a speech, and then, we've got... ___________________   Bobby Lashley vs. Mick Foley vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker w/Queen Sharmell vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. Non elimination, first man to get a decision wins. No DQ, no countout.   - Lashley stole Brock's ring jump explosives. Gay. Booker's pirouetting is so funny. LOL stuff. No heat at all for the entrances...I can't take it anymore.   - Everyone wants to beat up Orton. They do, and then Lashley does a TOPE onto everyone. Impressive. I don't like how they tease Lashley vs. Cena. Lashley is not Brock Lesnar.   - There's action all over the place, which heats the crowd up. Lashley gets F-U'd through a table, and after a while, Foley hits Lashley, Booker, and Cena with a chair. Orton stops Foley and punts him, good thing, he was next. Confusion ensues, and Cena hits the F-U on Foley for the win at 10:08. Biggest no duh of all the time. No question Foley was taking the fall. ***1/2. Was fun, but way too short to matter. Would've been better if longer. Cena up against the odds is worn out. ___________________   Rating: Poor. Trying to be nice, but can't rate the show highly. It sucked. Period.   Best Segment: Basically every moment that the legends were on screen. Had I watched it live, would've been total mark time.   Worst Segment: Women's match. Nothing redeemable at all. ___________________   Boston show from March 1989 is next. Unfortunately this show wasn't as good as it looked.
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Review: Mostly RAW from 1/7/08.

Ok, nothing for Smackdown. I barely even watched it, although I like that Rey's going to face Edge at the Royal Rumble. I thought Chavo's match against Funaki was good, that was the only thing I watched in its entirety. Also, I like the "Edge Heads" gimmick, although the shorter guy doesn't seem to be a very good wrestler. That's all I have to say. ___________________   So, the first show I watched in its entirety was ECW from 2-11-96.   - The segment at the beginning of the show was gigantically long. Like about 20-25 minutes long. First, Taz attacked Rey Mysterio. The SHAH and JT Smith came out to help Rey, and they started fighting. Guess that makes sense. Woman then came out, and 2 Cold Scorpio carried her out of the building. Stevie Richards then came out to the ring, along with the Blue Meanie. They offered Sandman a chance to back out of his match against Raven, and he said no. He canes all of them, and we cut away, to Raven at the ring. Stevie has a surprise for him, and it's that he's suing Missy Hyatt. She comes out, and then Sandman comes out, who canes the members of Raven's Nest, and joins Missy Hyatt. I deliberately typed that as convoluted sounding as possible, because, well, it was a convoluted segment. One that I didn't care for.   - The next thing on the show was an advertisement for the video tape, "Big Apple Blizzard Blast." A Current Affair was shooting footage, and the main things on the show were Sabu vs. Mr. Hughes and The Gangstas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio and the Sandman. Yeeeeah. ___________________   We have our first match next, it's Tommy Dreamer and Shane Douglas vs. Stevie Richards and Raven. Now, the rundown of things I thought were notable.   - Stevie put on a Razor Ramon t-shirt, and threw a toothpick at Shane. That was funny, at least until Shane ripped the Razor t-shirt off and went to work on Stevie.   - Cactus Jack runs in, and tries to beat up Shane. He leaves after a little bit. See, that's the one thing I don't get about run-ins during the middle of the match. Why wouldn't you stick around for the duration, instead of getting one or two punches in and leaving?   - Sandman canes everyone, and leaves. After that, there were many nearfalls.   - When Tommy gets introduced to the match via hot tag, weapons make their appearance. Meanie accidentally gives Stevie a moonsault, and Tommy gets knocked out, on a double collision. Beulah's been out there the whole time, so she tapes a frying pan to Tommy's right foot. He then gets up and gives Stevie Richards an enziguri, for the pinfall. Time announced was like 19:something, but that much certainly was not shown. Anyway, I liked it. ___________________   Lastly, was the match between Taz and the Shark Attack Kid. Talk about a good wrestling name. Taz wins the bout after the Tazmission and multiple suplexes, and afterward, grabs a microphone. He talks trash about 911, until 911's "music" hits. At least the geniuses at WWE 24/7 use the same dubbed music for each wrestler, instead of having it be different all the time. Otherwise I really wouldn't have understood the segment. Well, Tod Gordon comes to the ring instead of 911, and says that 911 is gone. GONE. And now, Bill Alfonso wants to fight Tod. So they do, until Tod gets the upper hand, at which point Taz comes in and beats up Gordon. BAM BAM FUCKING BIGELOW hits the ring, and chases off Taz. I knew that was going to happen because of the program description, but still, it's Bam Bam Bigelow. He grabs the microphone and says that Taz won't be able to suplex him. End show.   Well, I liked the ending, and was indifferent to the rest. The show was decent. This Bam Bam thing could be great... ___________________   The last show I watched in between my last review and this one, was Monday Night RAW, last night. So, here's how it went.   - At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon was at the RAW ROULETTE WHEEL with William Regal. He tells Regal that he'll be facing HHH tonight, so now, we spin the wheel. And it's a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!! Regal leaves the room, and HHH attacks him in the hall. Ha. This should be fun.   The first match on the show was going to be Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy, or so it would seem. But the wheel lands on a...STRANGE BEDFELLOWS MATCH. I didn't have a clue as to what this was, but McMahon says that both HBK and Kennedy will be teaming up against another strange team. So, it winds up being HBK and Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdoch.   - Haas' gimmick blows. I thought it was funny, in the worst way possible. That won't last for long. In case you didn't know, he goes under the ring at some random point during the match and puts on a mask.   - Toward the end, Kennedy wouldn't help HBK make the tag. So HBK made the comeback all by himself, giving both opponents SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Unbeknownst to HBK, Kennedy had made a blind tag, so after giving Haas SCM, Kennedy gave HBK the "Mic Check," gaining him the pinfall over Haas. I didn't time it, as I was doing something else. Again, sorry. *1/2, with the forewarning that Haas' gimmick has the potential to ruin matches. The Mic Check is just a fancy name for a downward spiral. Also, Kennedy's spray-on tan was coming off. It looked disgusting. His skin color looked like that of Hulk Hogan, at least where the tan was still remaining. ___________________   The next match was Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito in a "Trading Places" match. Ok, I can't believe another WWE wrestler doesn't copy gimmicks, much in the same fashion of this match. Trading Places denotes that each wrestler dresses like the other.   - I was surprised to see that Holly wasn't taking the gimmick too seriously. He had fun with it, which definitely was a surprise, this being Hardcore Holly, and all.   - Holly spit an apple in Carlito's face, and gave him the Alabama Slam for the victory. Carlito stuck around to do jobs for Hardcore Holly? *. ___________________   Before the commercial, Jim Ross sneaks in a "SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL" reference. I knew he would. Only makes sense, don't it.   Vince McMahon and Maria were backstage, to determine a match for all the Divas. The wheel landed on "Submission," but Vince moved the wheel over to a Lingerie Pillow Fight. That's not all, though. Afterward, Vince tells Hornswoggle that he needs to find a partner for a tag match, in which the winning team qualifies for the Royal Rumble.   The Pillow Fight was on after the commercial. I didn't pay attention, all I know is that Ashley pinned Jillian Hall after a flying elbow. What I saw, sucked. Hard. These are unrateable anyway. ___________________   So, Hornswoggle was looking for a partner. Santino laughed at him. I was reading the RAW thread, and I have to agree with something Conspiracy_Victim said. Playing to the stereotype with Santino would be great.   Ok, the next match is the First Blood match, between HHH and William Regal.   - I liked it, but there really wasn't a whole lot to say. HHH punched Regal a whole bunch, and made Regal bleed. The end. **1/2. After the match, HHH gave Regal a PEDIGREE and celebrated. I'm not an HHHater, but I still think that was unnecessary. He's still putting people over, though, so why complain? That said, the product is about 1,000,000 times better than when I quit watching. I really like what I've seen thus far, for the most part. ___________________   The next match was Chris Jericho...in what was a HANDICAP MATCH. He's facing Snitsky and...JBL. Not much surprise, there. Besides, the newer fan needs to see JBL in-ring before the Rumble, so this is acceptable.   - Ok, JBL looked a little flabby. Why is this a bad thing? I see way too much hypocrisy from Smarks these days. These guys aren't supposed to use steroids, and you make fun of those who do. But when you see a guy who doesn't, you make fun of him too? Idiots.   - JBL hits Jericho with the ring bell at the end of the match, giving Jericho the win by DQ. 1/2*. Now, JBL grabs a cable, and begins to choke Jericho with it. He ties a noose around Jericho's neck, and drags him all the way towards the entrance. He begins to hang Jericho on the scaffolding on the side of the entrance, but various officials/road agents come out to stop the beating. Ok, that was cool. And now, the thing with Benoit never crossed my mind, nor would it ever have unless someone mentioned it. I'm kinda sensitive when it comes to things like that (although not a straight out bitch), but really guys, let it go. There's really nothing offensive about the Jericho segment at all. Plus, a segment like that could garner a few more PPV buys. Note that I said could. ___________________   Now, it's time for the Hornswoggle tag team match, as he's found a partner to face the Highlanders. It's some guy named BK Jordan. However, MICK FOLEY, being the man that he is, ABSOLUTELY MUST help the little guy. So he decides to be Hornswoggle's partner.   - The match was way too long, let's put it that way. Hornswoggle won the bout after a frog splash. Sorry, I'm not calling it a tadpole splash. *1/4. The match was too long, it should've been a Foley squash. I wonder why Foley's going to be in the Rumble. I have this feeling that he'll get in the Elimination Chamber and win, OR, he'll go after CM Punk in a face vs. face thing leading up to WrestleMania. Hell, he could do both, putting Punk over huge at WrestleMania. Or he could do neither and disappear after the Rumble, considering that the WWE would never let Foley pick up pinfalls in an Elimination Chamber match, and losing in such a match would damage any possible rub he could give Punk. ___________________   In the main event, it was Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga in a cage match. Randy Orton's at ringside, btw.   - Ok, here's the first of many cool spots. Umaga backdropped Hardy into the cage...   - Randy Orton threw multiple chairs into the ring, and Umaga complied with Orton's wishes by hitting Hardy in the back with one of them...   - Jeff Hardy threw a chair at Umaga...but before that, he crotched Umaga on the top rope, and delivered a Poetry in Motion to him, knocking Umaga into the cage.   - Jeff gave Umaga a DDT into a chair, and while trying to escape through the door, Orton shut the door in his face.   - Umaga tried to give Jeff a SAMOAN SPIKE, but Jeff gave him the TWIST OF FATE. Then, Hardy climbed up the cage, and delivered a WHISPER IN THE WIND FROM THE TOP, which helped him to gain the pinfall, after a match that lasted around 15 minutes. Ok, that match rocked. I guess I was right about these two being able to have a really good match, wasn't I? ***3/4. Umaga's nerve hold was the only negative to what was a great match. Hardy then climbed up the cage, and stared down Randy Orton to end the show. Honestly, I thought Hardy was going to jump off onto Orton. That would've been awesome. ___________________   This show was pretty good, and far beyond my expectations. As long as the product stays like this, I'll keep watching. And the Royal Rumble card looks great, IMO. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with the Ladder Match DVD. Needless to say, my next "Random Thoughts" piece will have something to say about that, ECW from later today, and the MSG show from 1980.
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Review: WCW Monday Nitro, 3/31/97, from Roanoke, Virginia.

The NWO have arrived.... ___________________   Anyway, the first match is Lex Luger and The Giant vs. Roadblock and Rick Fuller. Giant chops Fuller HARD early on in the corner, clotheslines him, then tags in Luger. Luger goes up to the 2nd rope, and comes down hard with a double axehandle. Fuller pokes Luger in the eye, and tags in Roadblock. Roadblock with a big avalanche, and some other shitty oldschool offense. Roadblock misses an elbow drop from the 2nd rope, and The Giant is on his way in. Superkick by the Giant (wtf) and then Giant clotheslines both of his opponents. The CHOKESLAM and POWER RACK, OMG finish at 5:00. After the match, Harlem Heat run in and attack Luger and the Giant. There's a 4 way match at Spring Stampede, see. *1/4. Harlem Heat then have an interview, they're the Patriots cause they get no respect, and Sherri says they will divide and conquer on Sunday. Whatever. ___________________   Now there's a women's match that I'm not rating, because the incompetent commentary team didn't tell me who they were. Not only that, I don't rate women's squash matches. A regular match is different. This is part of a "Ladies Cruiserweight Title" tournament, and I can only assume this angle was dropped, because the crowd just doesn't care. ___________________   Villano IV vs. Psychosis is the next match...and both wrestlers do a lucha sequence where they armdrag each other and kip-up. To the chinlock we go, until Villano decides he wants to rana Psychosis. Psychosis with a spinning heel kick to knock Villano to the floor, and he follows that by going up to the top and getting a HUGE corkscrew moonsault, landing on Villano IV, on the floor. Backstage, the NWO is having some problems. Hogan, Hall, Bischoff, DiBiase, and Vincent are at Dennis Rodman's movie premiere. VK Wallstreet is the one with problems...back to the ring, and Villano gives Psychosis a fisherman belly-to-belly suplex. Strange move. He misses a moonsault, and a Psychosis superkick and guillotine legdrop finish at 4:25. *3/4, could have been better. ___________________   RIC FUCKIN' FLAIR is on his way to the ring, for an interview with Mean Gene, and Roddy Piper eventually joins them. Flair wants to go party with Piper, and Piper says ok. Then they leave. That.was.pointless. ___________________   Prince Iaukea vs. LA PARKA is the next match, and it's for Prince's TV Title. La Parka misses a charge toward the turnbuckle, but he comes back with a spinning heel kick. Both guys REALLY blow a springboard moonsault spot, and La Parka could have really hurt Iaukea there. Prince charged in toward the turnbuckle and nearly was met with a flying knee to the top of the head. Idiot. It was his fault, IMO. Anyway, a La Parka senton bomb (senton is no flip, remember) gets a 2 count. A double jump moonsault by La Parka gets the same. Somehow both guys wind up on the outside, and Prince springboards off the ropes with a body press. La Parka has his chair, cause he's chairman of WCW. He sits Prince down in the chair, and does a suicide dive onto him. Prince superkicks La Parka back on the inside, but misses a crossbody. La Parka kicks the chair onto Prince, and then he does some Sabu thing where he uses the chair to springboard and jump into Prince. A Prince crossbody off the top rope out of nowhere gets the pin at around 5:05. Way too many blown spots. 3/4*. ___________________   The next match is Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho, and prior to the match, Regal has some words for the people out there. Rey Mysterio's a dwarf, and Rey will get the first shot at the TV Title if Regal wins it at Spring Stampede. The crowd chants USA, which makes me laugh for obvious reasons, and Regal begins the bout with some mat wrestling, and a drop toe hold. Jericho clotheslines him, and gives him a spinning heel kick. A springboard dropkick and suplex follows from Jericho, and he's in control. A lionsault from Jericho gets a two count, and Regal gives him a stiff kick to the midsection. Jericho then rolls up Regal at 2:27 for THE WIN! I'm very surprised. *. Regal attacks Jericho post match, he gives him a huge halfnelson suplex off the top turnbuckle. whoa. A piledriver and the Regal Stretch follows, and the Renegade and Joe Gomez come out to help Jericho, but Renegade doesn't want to. What the hell? Gomez gets piledriven, and Lenny Lane and Billy Kidman come out and try to help. But they can't. The beatdown was fun... ___________________   This is hour two...and we find out that VK Wallstreet is leaving...and there's another women's match I'm not reviewing or rating. Akira Hokuto is in this one, and post-match, Hokuto attacks Madusa. Following that, there's a video package highlighting the past of Sting. And this package shows how far behind WCW is compared to WWE in this sense. ___________________   The next match is the Amazing French Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael w/Debra. OH CANADA, OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND. Sorry. This match really, really sucks. Mongo chopblocks the AFC's, and Public Enemy hits the ring. They try to take the Haliburton briefcase, but Robert Parker winds up with it, and he tosses it in to Jacques Rougeau, who hits Mongo with it for the win at 3:00. Just, no. DUD. Mean Gene comes to the ring, and Mongo wants to know why Jeff has the briefcase. He thinks Jeff was the one that hit him with it. ___________________   DDP is facing off against a guy my brother said was named Lance Ringo..and it ends quick with a DIAMOND CUTTER out of a firemans carry position. It kinda looked like an F-5. 1:43 is the time, and 1/2* is the rating. Randy Savage is in the crowd with a mic, and he says he finally found out what DDP's name was. But he's still wonderin' if DDP has family jewels. Oh, you. ___________________   The last match is The Steiner Brothers vs. High Voltage. I love the Steiners music. STEINERLINE! It's so overly corny. Scott starts with a pumphandle slam, and Rick comes in with a STEINERLINE. RUFF, RUFF, RUFF (just doin' the Rick thing). Rick with a release German suplex, and Rage rams Rick's head into the ringpost. Rick has a problem with his head, see, so he's hurt. A Kaos neckbreaker follows, and Rage comes in and misses a springboard rolling senton. He almost jumped all the way out of the ring, lol. Scott's in, an overhead belly-to-belly, press slam and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER finishes at 3:30. I love that move, so the match gets * as a result. ___________________   The NWO invade the broadcast table now, and Nash will fight WCW by himself if the other NWO members don't want to show up.   End of show ___________________   That sucked. Sucked dick. From now on, I'm not going to give Nitro a full review unless there's something important, like a title change, or important match or angle. There was literally nothing here except for some matches. NOTHING. It's a waste of my time to type all this up unless there's something worth doing so, for. Here's what it'll look like next time if nothing good happens.   Steiners vs. High Voltage: *, good Steiner Scredriver in there led to a Steiners win   DDP vs. Lance Ringo: 1/2*, inventive Diamond Cutter...   ___________________   Yeah, like that. Hopefully, I don't have to, because I want to be entertained and given something worth watching.   Rating: Bad.   Best match: Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho: the one time on the show something good happened.   Worst match: Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael vs. The Amazing French Canadians.   Until next time...
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Predictions for Sunday's NCAA Tournament Games.

My fucking entry got deleted, so I'm in a bad fucking mood. Short, sweet and to the point. Fuck posting records at this point, because it's meaningless.   Chicago, Illinois. West, Midwest.   1. Kansas v. 8 Kentucky. Kentucky is just there. Kansas got the easy road to the Elite Eight. Comfortable win here, this will be the only 1 v 8 that I don't think will end at the wire.   2. Wisconsin v. 7 UNLV. Lovin' UNLV and they've got teh athletes. Goes against my, if shit in the first round they'll be good in the 2nd theory, but whatever. UNLV with some cool shit late.   New AWLINS, Louisiana. Midwest, South.   1. Florida v. 9 Purdue. This one's going to be close, because I think on paper, this is the one that looks like it could be a blowout. Arizona needs to purchase their players brains, that's a top 10 team athletically. Florida kinda late.   (2) Memphis vs. (7) Nevada. Man, I really think Nevada's athletes can keep up with Memphis. But Memphis has that turn-on capability, where they can run any team in the tourney out of the building and to the airport. I think Memphis doesn't have the experience with their big time players, so I'll take the Wolfpack.   Spokane, Washington. First game is from the Midwest Region, 2nd is from the East Region. Shitty tournament venue, by the way. Keep this shit in Seattle so I can go next time. Thx.   (3)Oregon vs. (11)Winthrop. Here's my "two-way pick". This is going to be an Oregon blowout, similar to the USC game last week, or it's going to be a close Oregon victory. This Duck team is really good guys. Really good. Pullin' the THEORY on this one. Double the gimmick, double the fun.   (4)Texas vs. (5)USC. There isn't a fucking chance of me picking against USC here. Nick Young is rockin' the MOHAWK~! those Horns need to be fucking hooked, and we fucking owe them. My fucking goodness, we owe those damn cocksuckers. I'm getting excited thinkin' about it. I want to blow these fucking bitches the fuck onto a fucking airplane headed back to fucking Austin. I'm fucking psyched.   Now that I'm heading to the games in Columbus, Ohio I can calm down. Talkin' about the Spokane shit gets me wired. West, South. Feel bad for the organizers at this site, there's no big draw.   (4)Southern Illinois vs. (5)Va. Tech. I think the Hokies proved how I felt about them at the beginning, with the way they played today. Man, I don't like them at all. Southern Illinois big.   (4)Virginia vs. (5) Tennessee. The Vols made firm believers out of me this afternoon. That Long Beach State shit was a beating. I said that the Hoos couldn't get to the Sweet 16 unless they played at home, so Tennessee in the only OT game of the day.     I did pretty good outside of the LBSU debacle. I'm probably going to update this blog often because I have a lot to say about sports that'll get me in trouble on the board. On Monday I'll talk about whatever's the big news that's buggin' me. I'll post some thoughts about each of the results from the weekend on the corresponding days. Comments are way appreciated, even if you disagree. It'll probably lead to some nice discussion.
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Review: Shorties Section from 12-1 to 12-4-07.

I bring GIFTS!!! I'll be posting these in increments of four. ___________________   We're saving the best for last, so it'll be Val Venis' gift, right now. I thought this would be the skit where his dick got chopped off, and next week he said it wasn't, but it's not. Instead, it's Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito from 11/28/05.   Blow-by-blow: Carlito spits in the face of people that aren't cool, obviously meaning Shawn, then knocks Shawn out to ringside. I like when Carlito spits on people. Carlito chokes HBK with his shirt, and rams him into the barrier at ringside. On the inside, Carlito does the move I saw on Wiki was called the Back Stabber, obviously to work on the back of Shawn. Carlito applies a headlock, and takes Shawn down to the canvas. He gives Shawn a shoulderblock when shot into the ropes, and goes for another, but Shawn gives him a hiptoss. Shawn tries to roll up Carlito, and gets thrown back, but misses a charge to the ropes, and SKINS THE CAT, to come back in. Carlito clotheslines Shawn over the top when he gets back in, and gives him a plancha out to the floor. Back in, Carlito gets 2. Carlito beats up Shawn, and now they each trade chops in the corner. Each guy delivers 5 to the other, and Carlito whips Shawn into the corner, where Shawn avoids a charge, and Carlito comes off the 2nd rope with a springboard crossbody for 2. Shawn gives Carlito the flying forearm, and kips up, but his knee buckled. OMG, IT'S A SHEWT!!! No, it really isn't, but anyway, Shawn's knee's in pain, so he rolls out to the floor. Great selljob, to the point where you actually COULD wonder if it was real. Of course it's not, as you see when Carlito gives Shawn a baseball slide. And we go to a   commercial break.   We come back, and Carlito has a half crab applied on HBK. Carlito chopblocks HBK and tries to apply another leglock, but HBK kicks him away a few times, keeping Carlito from applying anything. Carlito misses a charge to the corner when HBK gets up, so HBK tries to climb to the top. Very, very slowly. Carlito crotches him, and goes up for a back suplex. He gets knocked off, so Shawn turns around, and gives him the flying elbow off the top. He didn't exactly jump to do it, either. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but his knee gives out when he tries to deliver SWEET CHIN MUSIC. A DDT by Carlito gets 2, and Shawn tries for SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of nowhere, but he can't get it, crumpling to the canvas. Then Carlito tries this reverse DDT looking thing, and gets pushed into the referee, after which HBK gives Carlito SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for the win, at 13:44, 10:10 of which was shown, due to commercials.   Match Analysis: See, things like that are why main event wrestlers should have TWO finishers. It didn't make any sense for Shawn to finish the match with a superkick, after the legwork. It was still good though, and I'll rate it **3/4. In some of these young guy vs. old guy matches, I'll say who I thought should have gone over. Shawn definitely should have went over. FWIW, since I found it funny, when I quit watching the WWE altogether after Royal Rumble 2004, Orton was on RAW. I looked at the results for Survivor Series 05 the other day, and he was on Smackdown. Now he's back on RAW. Well then. I don't particularly care for that much switching from brand to brand. Yes, I know that had nothing to do with the last match. ___________________   Chuck Palumbo's gift is from WM 17, the Undertaker vs. Triple H. I'm glad he chose this, but not really. I'm not even going to watch the match again, so it's a copy and paste job. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.   Blow-by-blow: This time, the dubbed music is the Ministry of Darkness music. I like. That's as far as I got before turning it off. They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.   Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/2. Remember, I changed the rating cause of what I thought of the Brock/Taker match at No Mercy '02. ___________________   Gene Okerlund's gift to us, is Hulk Hogan vs. Nick Bockwinkel w/Bobby Heenan for the AWA Championship, and that took place on AWA Super Sunday, in 1983. The date in the description is NOT RIGHT.   Blow-by-blow: Bockwinkel stalls outside of the ring, then comes back in, but bails again. He's scared of the HULKSTER, BROTHER. Hogan gives him a shoulderblock, and pushes Bockwinkel into the turnbuckle. Hogan gives him 2 more shoulderblocks, and Bockwinkel bails to the outside, to meet with Bobby Heenan. Bockwinkel comes back in with a few knees to Hogan's gut, and he tries a backdrop, but Hogan kicks him in the gut, and delivers a few knees of his own to Bockwinkel. Hogan gives Bock a doublestomp, and a backbreaker for 2, as Bockwinkel's feet are on the bottom rope. Hogan charges into the corner and runs over Bock, but Bock comes back with a few punches, which only get 1. Bockwinkel applies a front facelock type choke, and keeps reapplying it whenever the referee makes him break the hold. Bockwinkel covers Hogan for 2 and tries a piledriver, but Hogan gives him a backdrop to get away from the hold. Bockwinkel misses a charge, so Hogan punches away at him, and Hogan's cover gets 2. Hogan gives him a clothesline and elbowdrop for 2, then a shoulderbreaker for 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel a kneelift and a powerslam for 2, but he's unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG, DUDE. Bockwinkel gives him repeated shouldercharges in the corner and tries a scoop slam, but can't get it, so Hogan falls on top and gets 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel another elbowdrop for 2, on a kickout that was screwed up by Bockwinkel. The ref just stopped counting, and Bockwinkel didn't kick out until a bit afterward. Hogan misses a charge to the corner, and Bockwinkel applies a sleeper. Hogan pulls him over his head and to the canvas, knocking Bockwinkel into the referee. Bockwinkel reapplies the sleeper, and Hogan rams him into the turnbuckle, where the ref is trying to recouperate. Ok, that's overkill. The crowd's shitting all over it, making matters worse. Now Hogan tosses Bockwinkel over the top rope. That's three different ways for a Dusty Finish in one match. Find another with that many. Hogan suplexes Bockwinkel in from the apron, and DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, for the 3 count and pinfall at 18:11. I love how "Real American" was edited in. It sounds like that was actually the music being played. Anyhow, Gene Okerlund's in the ring, to announce that AWA President Stanley Blackburn has reversed the decision, because Hogan threw Bockwinkel over the top rope. The crowd shits all over it, as they should.   Match Analysis: The finish ruined a good match. Plain and simple. However, this was a classic match. Everything was going good, until the finish. And honestly, the AWA deserved to die a painful death after doing something like that. The crowd was primed for a title change. **1/2. Down from ****, which is where it would have been without that AWFUL finish. ___________________   Ok, when I said I'm saving the best for last, I meant that literally. As in, I'll be posting it at the end of the month! Hahaha, fooled you all. I'll post Steamboat/Flair from the Clash on New Year's Eve. There are multiple reasons for that, but namely because I want to end the year on a good note. I'll be posting more of these on the 8th.
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Lakers win a thriller, and I am shocked.

I'm partly doing this to move discussion here, hopefully.   The Lakers win, Nash choked and has an injured back. The Lakers had no business being in that ballgame. They got very lucky that Nash positioned himself on the baseline twice.   Hopefully, I'll get some comments to talk about the game, if not, oh well.   I'm just ecstatic that the Lakers will play the Clippers in the 2nd round, and once again the focus of the basketball world will turn to Los Angeles.
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Review: WWF Survivor Series 1995, from Landover, MD, 11/19/1995.

I lied. No ECW just yet, I felt like getting this one out of the way. Let me say, it was a great decision to watch this. ___________________   Vince, MR. PERFECT, and Jim Ross are on commentary, and in case you missed it, Perfect was introduced before the show. This is Survivor Series 1995, also known as "shitty gimmicks galore."   The first match of the night is Marty Jannetty, Hakushi, Barry Horowitz and Bob Holly (The Underdogs) vs. Tom Prichard, Skip, Rad Radford (Louie Spicolli), and the 1-2-3 Kid w/Ted DiBiase and Sunny.   Blow-by-blow: Before the match, during Kid's entrance, he gives the Kliq sign. The things I notice now...anyhow, Razor Ramon tries to attack the Kid, and we see why, as during a Razor v. Sid match on RAW, Kid was the special referee, and fast counted Razor. Prichard and Jannetty get the action going, and Jannetty just runs over to the heels corner and hits everyone. Prichard hits the Kid on accident, and gets backdroped by Jannetty. Radford and Holly tag in, at which point Holly shoulderblocks Radford, then gives Radford a hurricanrana. Well, that's a move I've never seen Holly do. Radford tries to do the same, but gets powerbombed by Holly. Holly slams Radford and legdrops him after an armdrag, then tags in Hakushi. Hakushi gets spinebustered though, and Radford tags in the Kid. Kid gets a splash off the top rope for 2, and does a spinning kick, much in the fashion that he's always done. Skip tags in and tries to give Hakushi a back suplex from the top rope, but Hakushi reverses it into a crossbody. He tags in Holly, who gets a backdrop, but Prichard tags in as well. Prichard gives Holly a gutwrench powerbomb for 2, then slams him afterward. Prichard goes up to the top, but misses his moonsault. Holly comes off the top after tagging in, and gives Prichard a crossbody, which eliminates Prichard at 5:39.   Skip comes in quickly, and rolls up Holly at 5:45, eliminating him. That was fast.   Hakushi comes in with a few rolling kicks(!), but misses a pump splash out of the corner. Skip gives Hakushi a frankensteiner off the TOP ROPE, but he's hurt, so both men are down. These guys are doing some crazy shit tonight. Kid comes in, but is given a springboard elbow, just like the Great Muta's. Hakushi goes up top, and gets a flying shoulderblock for 2. Hakushi slams the Kid, but misses his slingshot flying headbutt. Radford tags in, and Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head, which leads to a Radford pinfall at 8:32.   Barry Horowitz comes into the ring for the first time during the match, and the crowd goes nuts. I guess I never really realized how over he was. Kid comes back in again, and he and Radford gives Barry a double back elbow. Kid suplexes Horowitz, and kicks him a few times. Radford comes in and gets a gutwrench suplex for 2, but once Horowitz gets up, Horowitz gives Radford a jawbreaker. A Radford clothesline gets 2, but he doesn't let the referee finish the count, picking Horowitz up at 2. Radford headbutts Horowitz in the nuts, then does the Mr. Perfect-ish neck snap. Funny that Perfect is at ringside, isn't it. Radford gets a northern lights suplex for 2, then starts doing some pushups. Too bad for him, Horowitz rolls him up out of nowhere, and eliminates Radford at 11:47. Heh.   Skip comes in, and Horowitz gives him a hiptoss. Kid tags in, and gives Horowitz a legdrop, leading to the pin at 12:47. Marty, Skip and Kid are the only ones left.   Marty tries a german suplex after Skip misses a charge towards the corner, but he can't get it. Marty rolls through a powerbomb attempt and gets 2, then gives Skip a ROCKER DROPPER. Marty goes up top, but Sunny shakes the ropes, leading to Jannetty being crotched on the top rope. In a strange finish, Marty SUPERBOMBS Skip, leading to Skip being pinned at 15:24. Two things. One, I would never let Marty freakin' Jannetty give me that move. Ever. Two, this move, in the WWF? Goodness.   Kid gives Marty a legdrop from the top rope for 2 as he comes in, and a running dropkick. Kid slams Marty, then goes up top, but misses a rolling senton. Marty gets a dropkick for 2, as Psycho Sid makes his way to the ring. Well, we know who's gonna win the match, if there was any doubt to begin with. Marty gives Kid a facesmash, and a ROCKER DROPPER for 2. Kid grabs the ropes on the pinfall, as DiBiase gets on the ring apron. Sid comes up from behind, now that the referee is distracted, and drops Marty along the top rope, which leads to the pinfall and the win for the 1-2-3 Kid, at 19:07. Finish was crap.   Survivor: The 1-2-3 Kid.   Match Analysis: Yeah, the finish was junk, but the rest of the match was awesome. I've watched a lot of the Survivor Series', and this is likely my favorite elimination match of the bunch. ****1/4, the crap finish to the match deducts a 1/4. But it was still awesome, and well worth watching. Not surprising, given the workers involved. Not a single bad one in the match.   Razor's reaction to Kid winning the match is shown, he pretty much wrecks all the shit in the lockerroom, as for some reason he was with the Undertaker's team. Henry Godwinn's his boy, yo. ___________________   Todd Pettingill's with Owen Hart, Yokozuna and Dean Douglas, who along with Razor Ramon will be part of the Wildcard match later on.   Michael Hayes promotes the Survivor Series 1995 t-shirt, and honestly, this embarasses the shit out of me. They've got him running around under the Dok Hendrix name, promoting their bullshit. Makes me feel weird.   Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Lioness Asuka, and Tomoko Watanabe w/Harvey Wippleman vs. (WWF Women's Champion) Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, and Chaparita Asari was the next match, and honestly, I can't review it. I have a really hard time reviewing multi-man matches with people that aren't established by the announce team, if you haven't noticed. They need to help a brotha out. That's what they're for, right? Otherwise they're useless. Singles matches are no problem, I can catch on quickly, but a 6 or 8 man tag? No can do. Anyway, the match finished at 10:01, with AJA KONG as the sole survivor, after pinning Blayze with a Shonie Carter-esque spinning backfist. She was made to be the "monster" of the match, and with good reason. Her offense was rough. One of the women hit a SKY TWISTER PRESS, which is just awesome. Match was **, I felt like one or two finishes were screwed up, and the crowd wasn't ready for it.   Survivor: Aja Kong. ___________________   Todd Pettingill is with the Bill Clinton impersonator, and when Bam Bam Bigelow's pyro goes off, his "secret service" agents dive on top of him, making him take over. Fucking lame.   Finally, we get a regular match, Goldust vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.   Blow-by-blow: Goldust's entrance takes way too fucking long. WAY. Goldust starts the match with a few right hands and a thrust to the throat of Bigelow, then chokes Bam Bam in the corner. Goldust bails out of the ring after a Bigelow Irish whip, and slaps Bigelow when he comes back in. Bigelow gives him a dropkick, and on the outside, Goldust misses a clothesline, ramming himself into the ringpost. Inside, and just as they get in, Goldust clotheslines Bigelow over the top rope. What's the point of that? Inside, Goldust gets headbutted, then comes back with a kneelift. Goldust goes to a front facelock, and then tosses Bigelow over the top rope. He rams Bigelow into the steps and brings him back in, but Bigelow gives him a back suplex. He goes for a falling headbutt, but misses it. Goldust practically humps the guy on a cover, that only gets a 2 count. Goldust goes to the chinlock, but changes strategy and gives Bigelow a head vice instead. Bam Bam puts him on his shoulders and drops him, but Goldust comes back with a clothesline. He's not selling anything. A kneedrop gets 2, and we go back to the chinlock, at which point Bigelow goes Gene Okerlund, meaning "FUCK IT," and gives Goldust another back suplex. A clothesline gets 2, and on an Irish whip to the turnbuckle, Goldie fucks it up and falls down once hitting the buckle. He gets back up and walks over to the buckle (which is so business exposing it's ludicrous), and then Bigelow misses a charge, so Goldust gives Bigelow a bulldog which gets the 3 count at 8:19.   Match Analysis: This was all over the place. Junk that had no flow, and I probably wouldn't watch it again. DUD. Really disappointing, but expected, given that this was Bigelow's last match with the company. ___________________   "Clinton" tells Bob Backlund he should run for President, and Backlund can't even make it through his lines without stuttering. That's supposed to be the first sign you shouldn't be doing that segment. As we move to what could be even worse... ___________________   We have the Darkside: The Undertaker, Savio Vega, Henry Godwinn and FATU w/Paul Bearer and a bucket of slop vs. The Royals: Jerry "the King" Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Issac Yankem D.D.S., and King Mabel w/Sir Mo. IMO, this is the worst collection of gimmicks in any Survivor Series match, outside of the midget match the year before. Prior to the match, we take a look back at King of the Ring 1995 (:shudder:), when Mabel won the King of the Ring after interference from Kama, against Taker. After that, we go to a RAW which took place a month ago, when Mabel broke Taker's face. Taker has this Phantom of the Opera thing goin', and I sorta like it. Fits with the ridiculousness of a lot of things on this show.   Blow-by-blow: FATU and Helmsley start the match, and Helmsley does that gay courtsey of his. Since Fatu's makin' a difference, he does the same thing, but only to make fun of Helmsley's. For the children. Fatu gives Helmsley a backdrop, but after a few Helmsley right hands, he tries the PEDIGREE. Doesn't do it though, as he looks over and sees Taker starting him down. After all, Helmsley was standing right next to him. Godwinn and Lawler tag in, but Lawler doesn't want to fight. He tags in his lackey, Yankem, and Godwinn hiptosses the guy. Godwinn bodyslams him and gives him an elbowdrop, but after ramming him into the buckle, Yankem comes back with a back suplex. Helmsley tags in, and chokes Godwinn, as the commentators note Helmsley's undefeated streak in singles competition thus far in the World Wrestling Federation. Helmsley gets a high knee for 2, but gets press slammed as Godwinn gets in some offense. He squeals like a pig, then tags in Vega, while Helmsley tags in Lawler. Vega does this gay dance after a hiptoss, then Lawler does one which is equally as dumb. Vega gives him a dropkick, then tags in Fatu. He rams Lawler's head into the turnbuckle 10 times, but gets kneed by Yankem. Lawler gives Fatu a fistdrop, then tags in Yankem, who slams Fatu and legdrops him. MABEL finally comes in, but misses an avalanche. Vega comes in, but gets slammed by Mabel in Bossman Slam fashion. Mabel gives him a belly-to-belly throw, as in, he threw Vega the whole way across the ring like that. Yankem tags in with a dropkick, and applies a nerve hold. Like I said in the Survivor Series 90 review, that shit DOES NOT BELONG in these matches. Mabel and Yankem choke Vega, and Helmsley comes in with a kneedrop for 2. Mabel clotheslines Vega while Mabel's standing on the apron, and tags Lawler in. He piledrives Vega, but only gets a 2 count. That was a bit of a surprise. Helmsley comes in, and HITS ROCK BOTTOM, courtesy of Savio Vega. I never thought I'd see Vega do that move. Lawler tags in and piledrives Vega again, but Vega no-sells it, and FINALLY, the Undertaker will enter the ring. That no-sell was fucking dumb. He chokes Lawler, and Lawler attempts to make a tag, but there isn't a single guy willing to get in. A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER from Taker finishes the King at 12:18. Kinda figured he'd be the first to go.   Yankem comes in and does nothing, before Taker gives him a flying clothesline. TOMBSTONE, see you later at 12:50.   Helmsley acts like he's going to leave, but Godwinn grabs the slop bucket, forcing Helmsley to make a tough decision. Since Helmsley's a blueblood, he'll take the asskickin'. He gets chokeslammed in, and pinned by Taker at 13:35.   Mabel's the only heel left, and he gives Taker a belly-to-belly, along with a legdrop. Mabel dances, but Taker sits up. I forgot to mention two things. One, Mabel was carried to the ring, and was nearly dropped. If you look at the carrier on the right side of the screen, he's having such a hard time that he looks as if he's shitting his pants. Two, Mabel's sporting an UGLY mohawk. Well, the guy's ugly, so it's no surprise his mohawk is the same. Mo attacks Taker as the referee is distracted, and Mabel just leaves, at 14:24. Taker chokeslams him, but Mo no-sells it and leaves. Bet that pissed someone off.   Survivors: Savio Vega, The Undertaker, Fatu and Henry Godwinn. You mean to tell me one of those couldn't do a job?   Match Analysis: Booking was funny, but it fit. Taker should have been the one to take care of the heels, I'm not complaining. It's a little thing, but the nervehold bugged me, even though the match was shitty. 3/4*, and I'm probably being kind. These matches have action, but it isn't always good action. This show has way too many dead people on it, but none of them played any part in this match. Weird. Anyway, onto part 2, which definitely will be on this review. Just wanted to show where part 1 ends, is all. ___________________   Finally, the Wildcard match. This is an idea which definitely needs to be repeated. But first...   Bret Hart with a promo about his match later vs. Diesel...   Diesel returns the favor with one of his own...   Lastly, we have a promo with Shawn Michaels' team, and Cornette seems to be playing both sides. He was in the interviews with each team. ___________________   Speaking of the Wildcard match, it's Shawn Michaels, the British Bulldog, Psycho Sid, and Ahmed Johnson w/Jim Cornette and Ted DiBiase vs. Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Dean Douglas and (WWF Intercontinental Champion) Razor Ramon w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Like I said, Corny's playing both sides. Not only that, but Yoko is the fattest I've ever seen him. Note that I've hardly watched anything WWF from 1996, and what I have watched didn't have Yoko involved.   Blow-by-blow: HBK and Owen start the match, with HBK getting a shoulderblock. Owen gives him a hiptoss and tries to throw HBK out, but HBK skins the cat and gives Owen a headscissor out. Cornette swings his tennis racket at HBK, but HBK grabs it and hits Corny on the ass with it. Owen gives him a belly-to-belly suplex on the inside, then tags in Douglas. He gives HBK a delayed suplex, but Shawn puts Dean hard into the buckle, and gives Dean a flying forearm. An axhandle from the top rope gets 2, but after a missed charge to the buckle, he gets slammed by Douglas, who goes up for a pump splash, and misses. HBK gets a moonsault block for 2, then tags in Ahmed. Ahmed tries to slam Yokozuna, but can't do it. He gets scratched on the back, then Yoko tags in Douglas again. To the chinlock we go, but Dean breaks the hold and tags in Owen instead. Owen chokes Ahmed, and Ramon goes to work on him, then Dean tags in. Ahmed gets a powerslam, then slams HBK onto Douglas, which gets 2. Douglas avoids SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and on the outside, Douglas and Razor get into an argument. Douglas gets in the ring as Ramon is on the apron, and Ramon belts him, leading to Shawn rolling Douglas up at 7:29, so Douglas is gone.   Bulldog and Owen are in, and they fight, despite being managed by Cornette. Bulldog gives Owen a monkeyflip, and then Owen gives Bulldog a spinning leg lariat. Yoko's laughing on the ring apron for some reason, as HBK tags back in, along with Razor. They play up the "we don't fight unless there's ladders involved" thing, and Razor clotheslines him, prior to HBK doing the flying forearm and kipping up. Razor gives HBK the RAZOR'S EDGE, seemingly out of nowhere, but Ahmed breaks up the pin attempt. Razor gives Shawn a kneelift, and after an Irish whip, both wrestlers collide in the center of the ring. Sid finally comes in, and beats Razor up a little bit, but Yoko comes in to help Razor out. Razor and Sid clothesline each other, but Sid goes up to the top rope after, and gets slammed off by Razor, which gets a 2 count. Kick, punch sequence follows, and Sid gives Razor a 1 handed chokeslam, and calls for the powerbomb. He tags Shawn instead, who gives Sid a SWEET CHIN MUSIC on accident. Razor gets two, because Bulldog overjumps his cue and runs in on Razor too quickly. Razor then pins Sid again, and gets 3, at 16:19. Should have done another move to Sid after the pin breakup, as it was, it looked like shit and was business exposing.   Bulldog runs in now, and beats up Razor, which distracts the referee from seeing Sid POWERBOMB HBK. Owen comes in and gives Bulldog a backbreaker and backdrop, then tags Yokozuna. He puts Shawn into the corner, where Shawn does that flip of his. Yoko gives Shawn a nerve hold, and considering that it's Yoko, I'll deal with it. Owen comes in and along with Yoko, both headbutt Shawn, then Owen gives him a suplex. Up top, but Owen misses a diving headbutt. Ahmed gets the hot tag, and he's a house of fire. Quickly as he gets in, he gives Owen the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE, which eliminates Owen at 21:47.   Razor comes in with a bulldog, and the spot gets screwed up a little, as Razor had to chase him down, like Ahmed wasn't paying attention. Ahmed gets a spinebuster after catching Razor unawares, then taunts him on the 2nd turnbuckle. Well, Razor gets up quickly, and gives Ahmed a RAZOR'S EDGE off the 2nd turnbuckle. Bulldog attacks Razor though, so no cover is registered. Ahmed tagged Bulldog while up in the RAZOR'S EDGE, so Bulldog's able to stay in. Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid make their way back to the ring, in case you didn't know, Sid is pretty much Ted DiBiase's bodyguard. Razor gives Bulldog a fall-away slam, but Kid trips Razor, and Bulldog powerslams Razor, eliminating him at 24:07.   Yoko's the only one left, and he pokes HBK in the eye. He slams and legdrops Yoko, so Yoko goes for the BANZAI!!! He misses, and Ahmed comes in, who slams Yokozuna. Bulldog breaks the pin up, because Yoko's his buddy, so Ahmed and HBK clothesline Bulldog out of the ring. HBK gives Yoko the SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and Ahmed finishes the bout with a big splash on Yoko for 3 at 27:23. The crowd goes banana, as Ahmed and HBK celebrate. Bulldog's celebrating too, and it looked so awkward. Funny, at that.   Survivors: Ahmed Johnson, Shawn Michaels, and the British Bulldog   Match Analysis: Weird, but unique. Most of all, fun. I liked that everyone jobbed, and we didn't get any bullshit DQ or countout finishes. ***1/2, and the concept should definitely be revisited. Funny to see faces face faces and heels face heels. I liked what the WWF was doing with Sid right here, although I don't know particularly where it led. Didn't Sid break his leg during a softball game, so the whole thing was dropped? The angle with Shawn passing out happened the next night, btw. ___________________   Pettingill's with "Clinton" AGAIN, and this time, Sunny's sitting on his lap. I guess it was a little funny.   Pictures from KotR 94, and Rumble 1995, the only times Bret has been given the powerbomb by Diesel. ___________________   Now, the main event, for the WWF Championship. The challenger is none other than Bret "the Hitman" Hart vs. the Champion, Diesel. He's Diesel powered, you know.   Blow-by-blow: Both Diesel and Bret untie a turnbuckle pad at the beginning of the match, Diesel was seemingly doing it to psych Bret out, but now that Bret did it too, not psyched out, I guess. Bret puts Diesel into the buckle, but Diesel comes back with a few knees and right hands. Bret goes to the outside, making Diesel chase him, and Diesel complies. He drops Bret on the guardrail, then rams him into the apron. Diesel chokes Bret with his boot, then gets back in the ring. Bret starts kicking Diesel in the knee, but Diesel hits him a few times, getting him to stop. He tosses Bret out of the ring, and whips him into the steps, then rams him into the post. Diesel gets a chair, and hits Bret with it. It has a padded cushion on it, so it's not too violent looking. Rather lame, at that. On the inside, Diesel clotheslines Bret and calls for the jackknife, but he can't get it, cause Bret holds onto his leg. Bret bites him, and rakes the nose of Diesel, while being on Diesel's back. He attacks Diesel's knee, and elbows it a few times. He jumps on it, while it's draped on the bottom rope, and applies the figure-four leglock. Diesel reaches the ropes, but now Bret tries to go for the SHARPSHOOTER. Diesel kicks Bret in the face, so that's the end of that, also, Bret's head hit the exposed turnbuckle as he fell back. Bret rams Diesel's knee into the post after avoiding a charge from Diesel, and Bret applies a leg grapevine, in which he uses a television cord to tie Diesel's leg around the ringpost. Smooth move. Bret clotheslines Diesel from the top rope, cause Diesel can't avoid it. Bret goes to get a chair, but Diesel gives him a big boot. Diesel can't reach the chair, though, so Bret gets to take a few shots at him, to the back and to the knee. Bret gives him an elbowdrop and backbreaker, then goes up top with the chair. He gets crotched though, and slammed off by Diesel. Diesel unties himself, then chokes Bret with the cord. Diesel gives Bret a sidewalk slam, then whips Bret into the exposed buckle, while Bret runs 100 mph into the post. Diesel's selling the leg well, by limping of course, and he jumps on Bret with Bret draped over the 2nd rope. Diesel limps to the corner and gives Bret SNAKE EYES, then tries it again at the exposed buckle, but Bret rams Diesel into the buckle instead. Bret gets a clothesline for 2, and a bulldog from the top rope for 2. A russian legsweep gets 2, and then, he clotheslines Diesel over the top rope. Bret misses a plancha, and when Bret tries to get into the ring from the ring apron, Diesel pushes him off of it and through the Spanish announce table. Back in, and Diesel goes for the jackknife...but he can't pick Bret up. Obviously, Bret feels like a sack of shit. Well, Bret's FAKING INJURY, and rolls Diesel up for the win and his THIRD WWF TITLE, at 24:32.   Diesel's really pissed off about that, so he jackknifes Bret after the match. He hits all the officials that run in, and jackknifes Bret a second time. He tosses the belt to Bret, and yells, "I'M BACK!" Sure you are.   Match Analysis: I really liked the psychology of the match and Diesel's selling, but it started out awfully slow. Is it as good as Flair/Vader? No, I don't think that it is. I liked Diesel's match with Shawn at a later IYH more than this, so this isn't his best, IMO. Well, Flair vs. Vader is my standard for ****1/2 matches, so everything has to be as good or better than that to get a rating above, so I'll go a rung lower and give it ****1/4. I have the Bret DVD, but for some reason, I've never watched it. Dunno why, really.   Show's over. ___________________   Rating: Excellent. I might catch flack for this, but this is one of the best WWF PPV's, from top to bottom. Lot of action, although there were a lot of shitty gimmicks too. I know how shitty the "New Generation" was, but with in-ring quality like this, a majority of the shows are at least worth a look see. By majority, I don't mean a show like King of the Ring '95.   Best Match: Bret Hart vs. Diesel.   Worst Match: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust. Sucked the meat missile, I'm afraid.   Loudest Sound: HBK, Razor Ramon, the 1-2-3 Kid and the Undertaker.   No Sound: Almost the entirety of the women in their match, and Bob Holly. Poor Bob. ___________________   Anyway, PTW has to come soon. Don't know when, but soon.
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Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night Raw from 6/16/97.

We're LIVE FROM CHICAGO, and the NWO is on their way to the ring. In this case, that means Dennis Rodman and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. This being Chicago and all, the pop for Rodman's entrance is huge. They're smoking cigars, and you know why, because Rodman and Hogan are supposed to face Lex Luger and the GIANT at Bash at the Beach. The NWO really doesn't want that though, instead, they want to face them tonight. Rodman calls out "Lex Luthor," but they get no answer.   At Great American Bash last night, Ric Flair brawled with Syxx, which led to Piper losing their chance at the WCW Tag Titles. So, Flair will be here tonight to explain himself. ___________________   The opener for tonight is Glacier vs. Mortis w/James Vandenberg...   - I think Vandenberg still has Glacier's helmet. One little thing I noticed, Glacier has blue borders around the letters in his name on the display during the entrance. Seriously.   - Wrath comes down the aisle and onto the apron, but Mortis runs into him, which leads to a CRYONIC KICK. That allows Glacier to pin Mortis at 2:14. *3/4. After the bout, Wrath attacks Glacier, until Ernest Miller cleans house. What a terrible angle this is, but that said, this is generally my favorite part of the show. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Madusa, who's being forced to retire after losing to Akira Hokuto last night. Sucks for her. She's a woman of her word, and that's it. See you guys around. ___________________   Dean Malenko comes to the ring, and you know what, seeing as Eddie Guerrero interfered and cost him the US Title against Jeff Jarrett last week, he wants to face him, right now. Instead, Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out, seemingly to stick up for his uncle. And they'll have a match.   - Dean was looking around for Eddie for most of the match, btw.   - Chavo put in a good effort, but he tapped out to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF at 3:38. **. Eddie Guerrero's at the entrance, but he just leaves without saying anything. ___________________   La Parka vs. Super Calo is next, supposedly because these two are having some problems.   - Calo does that tope con hilo which takes him into the crowd, and I'm starting to hate it. Way too dangerous.   - A flying headscissors off the top gives Calo the pinfall victory at 3:44, and after the bout, LA PARKA breaks a plastic chair over Calo's head. You know, because he's the Chairman of WCW. ** for the whole thing. ___________________   Lex Luger and the GIANT are with Mean Gene, the Giant just babbles, and they want to face the NWO tonight as well. So it'll happen. By the way, I wrote that spoiler into my notes before watching the rest of the show. Just so you know. ___________________   The next matchup on the card tonight is the Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri vs. the Amazing French Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker.   - You see, Sherri and Parker, well, they have history. Last month on WWE 24/7, their wedding was shown. They weren't able to get married, though, thanks to Madusa.   - Jacques Rougeau wants to sing the Canadian National Anthem, but really, all he wants to do is attack Harlem Heat. Last night at Great American Bash, Harlem Heat defeated the Steiners by DQ, thanks to Vincent. That win made them the #1 contenders for the tag titles.   - Booker pinned Jacques at 3:45 after an elevated Harlem Sidekick. The match was only acceptable, so I'll rate it *1/4.   Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon, who says that Harlem Heat's win last night was tainted. They don't want the NWO manipulating results, so next week, there's going to be a rematch. Vincent comes out and says that he did Harlem Heat a favor (this should've occured before the thing with Dillon, not after) at Great American Bash, so Harlem Heat kick his ass. Pseudo face turn right there. ___________________   Rey Mysterio vs. Syxx w/Scott Hall and Kevin Nash for the Cruiserweight Title is up next, and last time these two faced on Nitro, Rey was left battered and bruised in the center of the ring. That'll probably happen this time too.   - It's hour #2 of Nitro, so the pyro goes off. DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH. Only in WCW, I tell you.   - After a Rey hurricanrana off the top, the NWO runs into the ring. BUT, Rey fights them off, and knocks both men out of the ring. That was all the distraction Syxx needed, though, and he slaps on the Buzzkiller to force Rey to tap at 4:47. **1/4. After the bout, Nash JACKKNIFES Rey right on his head. Ouch.   Nash gets on the mic, and talks about Flair and Piper. Hey yo, those guys aren't icons. Here comes Randy Savage, who talks about NWO 4 LIFE and that nobody's BETTAH THAN THE MACHO MAN....OOOOOOOHH YEEAH! DDP is in the crowd to dispute that fact, saying that Savage can't do a thing by himself. He wants to face Hall and Nash, seeing as he's found a partner and all. He's not saying who, though. I'm not going to say who it is, in case anyone's curious. Just wait until we get closer to the show. Don't spoil it for yourself if you don't know. ___________________   The next match is Chris Jericho vs. the Ultimo Dragon.   - Hey, a matchup which frequently occured in WAR. Sonny Onoo tries to pay Jericho off, but Jericho pushes him to the ground.   - Unfortunately, this match is nowhere near as good as its predecessors. It wouldn't even have been good if given time. Dragon pins Jericho with a tiger suplex at 4:38, thankfully. *. ___________________   On the Road with Lee Marshall in Macon, yadayadayada...   After, Mean Gene is with Rowdy Roddy Piper. He doesn't want Rodman to steal his kilt, which elicits a few boos. He wants to talk to Ric Flair, obviously. Flair comes out and says it was the fight of his life once he made it past that curtain at the Bash..but mostly, he's sorry. ___________________   Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton are set to take on Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael, who are of course accompanied by Debra.   - Mongo was a Chicago Bear. Obviously he's beloved by this crowd. Mongo gives Jarrett a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER in mid-strut, and Buff pins Jarrett for the win. My time was messed up, but this wasn't very long. You know why Mongo tombstoned Jarrett? Well, at the Great American Bash, Jarrett accidentally hit Mongo with a briefcase, allowing Mongo to be pinned by Kevin Greene. I reviewed that match some time ago. ** for the match and turn. ___________________   HOLLYWOOD Hogan and Dennis Rodman are set to take on Lex Luger and the GIANT, but...the WCW guys haven't made their entrance. Rodman and Hogan are going to leave, until the GIANT and Luger encounter them in the aisleway. They go back to the ring, and Giant gets Rodman in the CHOKESLAM. The ring is being PELTED with trash, and Hogan stops the chokeslam. Rodman clocks the Giant with the WCW Title, and Hogan hits Luger with it. The typical NWO beatdown ensues, as does the spraypaint. I'd be lying if I said I've seen more trash thrown into a wrestling ring before. This even tops Bash at the Beach from the year previous. This ends the show, and honestly, this was the perfect time for a Sting moment. But with Rodman there, who really knows how the crowd is going to react, this being Chicago. ___________________   The show was good. Best segment was, uh, the ending. Simply because I'm not tired of the beatdowns yet, although I damn sure will be before too long. The worst was the whole Glacier/Miller vs. Wrath/Mortis stuff. This isn't good. ___________________   Now, to MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Lake Placid, NY. ___________________   Intro to the show and all that, Bret Hart won't be there tonight, and Shawn Michaels is out 4-6 weeks because of his backstage fight with Bret. Because of this, we're going to have a tag team tournament. The winner of that is going to take on Steve Austin and a partner of his choice. Steve Austin now comes to the ring, and in mid-speech, Mankind comes on the TitanTron. He thinks that being flipped the bird shows a bond between them, but Austin says that he doesn't need a freak following him around. He didn't need Shawn Michaels shaking his ass all the time, either. Well, Mankind says that he has a nice ass, Austin says he has a fat ass, and that's the end of their conversation. We flashback to what happened last week when Austin was attacked before his match with Brian Pillman, and he's going to whip Pillman's ass when they face off later tonight. Here comes Ken Shamrock, to different music, again. He challenges Austin, and Austin accepts, saying he'll beat him after he beats Pillman.   Pillman has an interview in which he displays his dislike for the fact that his stablemates will be handcuffed to the ringposts during his match... ___________________   And now, we have the New Blackjacks taking on Owen Hart and the British Bulldog. First round of the tag tourney, I might add.   - There isn't much else to say, other than that Owen gave Bradshaw a spinning heel kick and Bradshaw was pinned for 3 by Bulldog at 3:39. *1/2. ___________________   Paul Bearer and the Undertaker are backstage, where Bearer tells us that he can do WHATEVER HE WANTS.   Ken Shamrock is backstage too, and he cuts a terrible promo. I drew nothing from it. ___________________   HHH w/Chyna is facing Phineas Godwinn now...   - Thank goodness Henry Godwinn had a messed up neck. It saved us from many terrible tag team matches featuring those two hicks.   - Chyna weakly pushed the entrance attire guy before the match. Super weak. Anyhow, toward the end of the match, Chyna gets on the apron, and Phineas kisses her. That's all the distraction HHH needed to give Godwinn the PEDIGREE for the 3 count at 3:34. 1/2*, wasn't good at all. Henry Godwinn comes down the aisle, and he argues with Phineas. He tells Vince McMahon that it's "his fault," and leaves. Vince Russo's fingerprints are all over that. ___________________   Faarooq is with D'Lo Brown, and Faarooq says that two BLACKER members will be added to the Nation tonight. ___________________   Sunny is the guest ring announcer for...Brian Christopher vs. Chris Candido. Yes, I just said that. And Paul Heyman is on commentary.   - I like the angle, but this is just weird. A USWA vs. ECW match on WWF TV?   - Jerry Lawler comes down to the ring, and pulls Candido off the top rope, getting his son DQ'd at 2:44. Lawler, Christopher and Rob Van Dam all stomp on Candido, until Tommy Dreamer makes the save. *. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson says that the Undertaker needs to do things the easy way, just like Paul Bearer said. Don't understand that. ___________________   Jim Neidhart faces Goldust w/Marlena now....   - It's weird seeing the ANVIL in a singles match. Unfortunately, this match is as bad as it sounds. The British Bulldog comes to the ring, you know, because Marlena slapped him last week. Goldust slaps the Bulldog, and pins Neidhart after a punch at 3:46. Neidhart took a ridiculous bump on a punch you could see didn't even hit. So, DUD. ___________________   After a few promos, we have Steve Austin vs. Brian Pillman. The rest of the Hart Foundation is handcuffed to the ringposts.   - Owen continuously tries to get the handcuffs off, to no avail. At least for now. Austin loves to beat on the rest during the match, and we go to a commercial.   - We're back, and Pillman's nose is broken. When Austin gives one of the two referees a STUNNER, Owen reaches into that official's pocket and grabs the keys to unlock himself. He unlocks Neidhart and Bulldog, so at 8:30 (shown), Pillman gets disqualified, as they pound on Austin. **.   Mankind, Goldust and Shamrock all run down to the ring to break things up, at least until Shamrock gives Austin a belly-to-belly suplex. They brawl, until the Legion of Doom comes out. Mankind has mysteriously disappeared, and Goldust grabs a microphone. He wants these five that are in the ring right now to be the five that take on the Hart Foundation at Canadian Stampede. And you know what, he thinks they'll kick their asses. Austin says that he doesn't need the other four, but seeing as he has to have them to take part in that match, he's going to accept. So the main event at Canadian Stampede is set. ___________________   The Hart Foundation is in the back, and they're fine with facing those five. They don't discriminate, they love to kick everyone's ass, they say. ___________________   Here comes Sable, who's the guest ring announcer for this match between Robert Fulton and Tommy Rogers.   - First reaction, WHAT THE FUCK? The Fantastics are facing each other? On WWF TV no less? It's short, but good anyway. At 2:48, Rogers pins Fulton after an UNPRETTIER. *3/4. I can't understand this. After the bout, Marc Mero comes down the aisle. You know why? Because he kinda wants Sable to go to the back. I loved this angle, and the seeds have been planted. Fortunately or unfortunately, he doesn't wrestle until September. ___________________   The Headbangers are taking on Jerry Lawler and Rob Van Dam as part of this tag team tournament...   - Heyman and Tommy Dreamer are in the crowd...you know something's gonna happen. These old clips make me miss RVD...just being honest.   - Big chants of "YOU SOLD OUT" are pointed towards RVD...and when the referee is distracted, THE SANDMAN comes down the aisle and canes Lawler in the nuts. The Headbangers pin Lawler after a cool double team move (don't know what to call it)at 4:38, and now, we brawl. There's a huge fight, at least until it's broken up. Match was *1/2. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson and the Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs. Faarooq and a mystery partner is our main event.   - You know who the mystery partner is? Well, after much delay, it's KAMA MUSTAFA. Talk about a disappointment. We go to a commercial...   - After the commercial, Kama pins Taker CLEAN with a uranage at 3:49 (shown). Yes, I just said that KAMA pinned the Undertaker clean, 1/2*. Ahmed gets in the ring after the match, and gives the Undertaker the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE. Following that...he stands with the Nation, and salutes, to much disdain. He's member #4.   End show. ___________________   The show was decent, the best segment was probably the lead up to the 10 man tag at Canadian Stampede, and the worst was Jim Neidhart vs. Goldust. Nitro was much better this week, and if not for the Stampede buildup and Ahmed turn, we'd be talking about a pretty bad show. ___________________   The RAW from before WrestleMania X8 will be up next. And then of course, WM X8 itself.
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Review: Undertaker DVD, Part 5.

Time for something easy to review.... ___________________   The first match in this part of the DVD is from Fully Loaded 1999. It's for the World Wrestling Federation Championship, and the challenger is, of course, the Undertaker. The Champion is Stone Cold Steve Austin, and the match is a First Blood, End of an Era match. If Austin loses, he can't challenge for the WWF Title again. If the Undertaker loses, Vince McMahon will have to leave the WWF "forever."   Blow-by-blow: First, this mix of the Undertaker's music kicks ass. Austin made Taker bleed earlier in the night, and Taker tells the referee not to worry about that cut. Second, Vince McMahon is a guest commentator for the bout. Austin comes out and Taker meets him in the aisle. They brawl, and Austin swings the Smokin' Skull belt at Taker, but misses. They're by the guardrails in the aisle, and Austin is covering up to protect himself from the rights and lefts that Taker is throwing. Taker knocks Austin into the crowd after a right hand, and throws the steel stairs at him. But they miss, and Austin tries to hit Taker with the steps. Taker kicks him in the gut, throws him over the rail, and rams him into the announce table. Finally they get in the ring, and Taker chokes Austin with his boot. Taker tries to rip the stitches out of Austin's head from attacks on RAW in the previous weeks, then chokes Austin, but Austin chopblocks him after a missed big boot. Austin goes for the left leg, and tells someone out there, "you got this shit." Austin kicks him in the nuts, and for some reason, the crowd's kinda dead. I've never seen this show, so I don't know why. Austin rams the left leg of Taker into the post, and on the outside afterwards, Taker knocks Austin into the crowd. They trade rights, and Taker knocks Austin back to ringside. For some reason I like this match, even though the crowd may not. Taker grabs a chair, and swings it twice, both times missing. He attempts to swing it a third time, and Austin drop-toeholds him into what's left of the steel steps. Austin chokes Taker with a television cable, during the process, he takes a mini-electrical fan and rams it into Taker's face. Taker pushes the ref back in the ring, then trips over the ref and winds up tied in the ropes. Shane McMahon runs in with a chair, and he takes a hard chairshot from Austin to put him on the outside. Austin is gonna hit Taker with the chair, but Taker gives him a big boot. Taker kicks Austin in the groin, and takes off the turnbuckle pad. Steve with a low blow, and a STONE COLD STUNNER. Vince McMahon hobbles to the ring and tries to hit Austin with a crutch because he's hurt, so he can't walk, see. Austin has a chair after he hits Vince, but Taker hits Austin in the back with it. X-PAC (WTF?) comes down to the ring and spinning heelkicks the chair into the face of Taker, and Austin grabs a television camera. Oh yeah, now I remember why X-Pac came down to the ring. He was partners with Kane, and Kane had a match with the Big Show. Who was the Undertakers partner. Anyhow, Austin hits Taker with the camera, and WE HAVE BLOOD. BAH GAWD, BAH GAWD. The ref's down, so the match isn't stopped immediately. Taker goes for the TOMBSTONE, and Earl Hebner sees that Taker's bleeding. We all go "RING THE FUCKING BELL," and the match is over at 15:38. Austin gives Vince a STUNNER, and Triple H comes out. THE ROCK comes out to attack HHH, and we brawl. Taker hits Austin with the chair, and Austin's bloody. Austin hits Taker with the crutch of McMahon's, and Shane gets punched by Taker. Finally, the brawl breaks up. Austin offers to give Vince a goodbye handshake, well, he does that, then gives him a Stunner.   Match Analysis: Wow. People complain about Russo's use of run-ins in TNA, but what I saw there, now THAT was overbooking. It was fun though, and well within the context of the match and other angles that were going on at the time. **1/4, although that may be overrating the match, I liked it. ___________________   This match is from Wrestlemania 17, and it's The Undertaker vs. Triple H. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.   Blow-by-blow: The dubbed music of the Undertaker actually sounds pretty good. Like that could be his real music, or something. Unusual to find good dubbed music on this channel... They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.   Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/4. ___________________   From Judgment Day 2002, this match is for the Undisputed Championship, and it's the challenger, The Undertaker vs. the Champion, Hulk Hogan.   Blow-by-blow: Hogan's ring entrance took a while, and it could give someone a seizure. The lights in front of the stage setup hurt my eyes. Taker's wearing Hogan's weightlifting belt to the ring, and once Hogan gets in, Taker smacks him with it a few times. Hogan finds a way to get the belt away, then hits Taker with it three times. Hogan clotheslines Taker as JR says, "this won't be a classic." No shit, huh. Hogan backdrops Taker and dumps him, and then he goes into HULKAMANIA BROTHER and tears his shirt off. Hogan with an eye rake, but Taker gives him a headbutt on the outside. Still on the outside, Hogan whips Taker into the steps. Hogan with some chops, but Taker gets an armbar and goes up for OLD SCHOOL. Hogan crotches him and gets a superplex (WTF?) for 2. It looked kinda funny. Taker with a chopblock, and he rams Hogan's knee into the ringpost. He wrenches the leg, but Hogan continually kicks Taker in the head to get out of it. They trade right hands, then Hogan misses the BIG BOOT AND LEGDROP, and Taker grabs Hogan's leg in a half crab. Hogan gets to the ropes and both men trade right hands. Hogan misses a clothesline, and Taker gives him the ugliest chokeslam I've ever seen. Hogan kicks out at two, and Hulks up. We all know the routine, 3 right hands, a big boot, and HE DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, but only gets two. A Taker running DDT gets a 2 count and Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring. Taker goes and grabs a chair, but Hogan kicks it into his face. He gives Taker the LEGDROP, but the ref isn't counting thanks to Vince. Hogan punches Vince and legdrops him, but Taker hits him with the chair and chokeslams him at 12:23 to become the new Undisputed Champion. Undertaker tells Hebner to put the belt around his waist, and he goes and grabs the chair "for his motorcycle." He "Team 3D's" him, you know, cause of what they did to Shark Boy, and that's it.   Match Analysis: Not a DUD, cause I was entertained. And I thought it was better than their match at Survivor Series 1991 so...I have to give it 3/4*. It was kept short, and to the point. That was for the better. If both men had more time for this match, it would have been terrible. With a capital T. ___________________   An overall rating of the DVD will be coming soon, when I post Part 6. Since there's not much content that I haven't reviewed on 24/7 right now, I'll take my time.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 2/7/08, featuring RAW, a few thoughts on ladder matches, and WWEECW.

This is the first time I haven't really been too jazzed about watching RAW. It'll probably be crap. ___________________   From Austin, Texas, we have a contract signing, but we also have a John Cena vs. Mark Henry in an armwrestling contest later. Randy Orton wants John Cena to sign a contract so he can't back out of the match at No Way Out. Unless Orton attacks and bloodies him, I don't see the point of this. Cena gets a huge positive reaction when he makes his way out, and signs the contract. Mark Henry runs down to the ring to attack Cena, but Orton gives Cena an RKO first. Smart move. ___________________   We get a Steve Austin DVD promo next...I would've bought this a few years ago, but since then, I've only bought two or three wrestling DVD's, those being the Jake Roberts DVD, Bret Hart DVD and HBK DVD. I wanted to buy the World Class one, but didn't.   Randy Orton's with Mark Henry, so Todd Grisham pops in for an interview bit. Orton justifies his actions, as we go to... ___________________   Kelly Kelly and Mickie James vs. Victoria and Beth Phoenix.   - Uh, brand extension? I wouldn't say anything if it was ever attempted to justify why two non-RAW wrestlers were in the matches they're usually in. Say they were loaned to the show, or something. Mickie's almost as over as Trish was, if not more so.   - Mickie pins Victoria after a tornado DDT at 2:42. Nothing spectacular. *1/4.   William Regal is with Hornswoggle, and he thinks Hornswoggle should be proud of joining the "Kiss my Ass" club tonight. You know, because Regal's a member! ___________________   Shawn Michaels comes out for a promo, cause he's putting everyone who's going to be in the Elimination Chamber on notice. I saw that the entrance was on the right side of the screen as opposed to the left side this week, and the same goes for their new video wall. It's all in reverse. Why? Chris Jericho interrupts HBK, because he doesn't think he'll win the Elimination Chamber. Y2J will, but Jeff Hardy believes otherwise. He has the desire to be in the main event at WrestleMania, you see. JBL REALLY doesn't think so. He says that Texas is a pile of trash, and that's why he left. Mega heel heat for that. JBL says that he'll pay Umaga to protect him in the chamber. So, obviously, UMAGA makes his way to the ring, and quickly thereafter, comes Snitsky. Snitsky says that he should be allowed into the Elimination Chamber. Umaga can't speak English, so he didn't say anything. HBK says that Snitsky only deserves dental care, and now, they all brawl. At least, until William Regal comes out. It'll be Snitsky, JBL and UMANGA vs. HBK, Y2J and Jeff Hardy in a 6 man tag, later tonight. ___________________   Mr. Kennedy faces Super Crazy next...   - I'm surprised that Super Crazy hasn't been released yet. I'm sure he will be soon.   - Anyhow, there's very good psychology in this match. Kennedy applies a strange looking figure-four, and that gets Super Crazy to submit at 2:30. **. The microphone comes down, and we see a clip from MVP vs. Ric Flair on Smackdown last week. MVP got disqualified after not releasing a figure-four, so he attacked Flair after the match. He took Flair out, so to speak. Next week, Kennedy is going to give Flair a chance to forfeit their match at No Way Out. That won't happen.   Mike Adamle is in the crowd, hyping No Way Out. He's been good with this. ___________________   It's Carlito and Santino Marella w/Maria vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick, now.   - I'm starting to get sick of the same guys jobbing every week. It's very annoying.   - Anyway, London chases Santino around the ring for more than half the match, and Carlito gives Kendrick a BACKSTABBER, which gets him the pinfall at 1:08. 1/2* I think that was the first time that Santino did something that was supposed to be funny and I didn't laugh. It was stupid.   Vince McMahon is with a guy who's buffing his ass. What the fuck? ___________________   Let's get this over with quickly. Vince comes to the ring to talk about how all children should kiss their parents asses, literally. This was a great reason to flip the channel and never watch this show again, but I didn't change it. Should I have? Probably. Anyway, this segment was pretty disturbing. Hornswoggle comes out, and won't kiss Vince's ass. "My eyes!" Finlay comes to the ring, and Vince tells him that he's going to kiss his ass once Hornswoggle is done. Hornswoggle then bites Vince on the ass...isn't that worse than kissing it? Next week, it'll be Vince vs. Hornswoggle in a NO DQ match. And if Finlay interferes, HE'LL BE FIRED! I'm glad the crowd sat on their hands during that segment. It was terrible. ___________________   Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch faced Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (World Tag Team Champions) in a non-title match after that pile of junk segment, and...   - I haven't seen the champions defend these titles once. That's pretty bad.   - I don't hate Cody, but he's way too bland. He shouldn't even be on TV, yet. He DDT's Murdoch and picks up the win at 2:14. *. Carlito and Santino come out, because they're the new #1 contenders. That's all they had to say.   The Divas did Project Runway, this show on Bravo where these wannabe fashion designers, design clothes, obviously. I've never watched it. ___________________   Here's our main event, UMAGA, Snitsky and JBL vs. Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.   - But for Snitsky, this could be very good. HBK gets a huge pop when they start the match, because this is Texas. I've noticed that JR has been a better announcer than when I quit watching a few years back. He doesn't bungle stuff nearly as often.   - Before the commercial break, all three babyfaces plancha'd onto an opponent, in stereo. That was cool. The heat segment on Chris Jericho killed the match. I nearly fell asleep. Snitsky and Umaga just applied a hold and sat there during their respective stints in the ring. I absolutely CANNOT stand that.   - The hot tag was made to Jeff Hardy, and then everyone hit a finisher, which ended with Jeff Hardy giving Snitsky the SWANTON BOMB at 15:12. Hot finish, hot start. Awful middle. I suppose I'll be kind and give it **1/4. ___________________   Candice Michelle returns to RAW soon, but I don't really care.   John Cena is going to face Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match, because Cena is at 100%, you know. Honestly, this kind of stuff reminds me too much of the Scott Steiner/HHH feud that SHOOK THE FOUNDATIONS of RAW in early 2003. Anyway, nobody wins the arm wrestling contest, because we have interference! Randy Orton tries to attack Cena from behind, but he bails out when Cena begins to make a comeback. Mark Henry's in trouble, F-U, end show. ___________________   This was a bad show. Really bad. Best segment was the six man tag, which isn't to say much at all, and the worst was the ridiculousness of having an arm wrestling contest on a wrestling program. Just WRESTLE, why don't you. ___________________   Before RAW, I watched parts 3 and 4 of the Ladder Match DVD that's been posted on 24/7. Why put it after RAW, you ask? Because I can. I just rated and noticed a few things about the matches which took place on RAW. I had a lot going on Tuesday.   The first one which took place on RAW was Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero for the Intercontinental Championship from 5/27/02.   - The part where the fan ran into the ring was cut out, which sucked. I have this match on the Eddie DVD, so nothing really stood out to me on a whole that I hadn't noticed before. It isn't the best ladder match, but it's pretty damn good. RVD wins the match after 20 minutes, btw. ****. ___________________   The 2nd ladder match that took place on RAW was Jeff Hardy vs. the Undertaker for the Undisputed Title from 7/1/02.   - I am and I probably always will be in favor of bringing back the Undisputed Title. With two World Titles, you kinda see a lot of the same things happen on each brand within a few months of each other. That's a problem.   - This match was better than I remembered it, which isn't really to say a lot, because I was working my ass off in football and didn't really pay attention to wrestling at the time. A great job was done of building the crowd to believe that Jeff could really win the title. Taker did great, and Jeff did great. Obviously Taker won, at 14:05. ***3/4. ___________________   The last match in these two parts which took place on RAW was Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Bubba Ray and Spike Dudley vs. RVD and Jeff Hardy vs. Kane in TLC match for the World Tag Team Titles from 10/7/02.   - Hurricane was gone, after being attacked by Ric Flair and HHH before the match.   - IMO, this match is better than all the other TLC matches. Hands down. I take back what I said about TLC 1 being the best. The flow was better. The spots were better, and you don't necessarily need tons and tons of falls off the top of ladders through tables to make a match great. This one was really, really fun. Plus, my cousin thought it was the best match he'd seen. So there. *****. Next time I see this one, I'll give it the full review it deserves. Outstanding. ___________________   Now, we have WWECW, from Corpus Christi, TX. This show was a pile of shit, so my notes are VERY short. I was thoroughly bored. ___________________   CM Punk came to the ring, and showed us video from last week where he attacked Chavo Guerrero during a fiesta to celebrate his championship win in the previous week. Chavo comes to the ring, and says that Punk insulted his heritage. Armando Estrada is outside of the building, and says that these two will fight each other in a Gulf of Mexico match. To win, you have to throw your opponent into the water. WOW. We have WrestleCrap occuring right before our eyes, between two wrestlers I like. This is embarassing. At No Way Out, Punk gets a title shot, so it's all good. ___________________   Our first match is Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool vs. Victoria and Layla.   - This was not very good. At least someone who knows how to wrestle won, that being Victoria, after she gave Kelly Kelly the Widow's Peak at 2:42. 1/4*.   Kane faces Shelton Benjamin on Smackdown this week...hey, now I'm definitely going to watch the show. Seriously. ___________________   John Morrison w/The Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer w/Collin Delaney was our first singles match on the night...   - Last week, Delaney was beaten by Morrison and the Miz in a handicap match. Tommy Dreamer went out to help after the match, so here we are. I suppose Dreamer is his protector.   - Morrison tried to do a sky twister press and nearly landed on his head. Save that for the smaller guys, me thinks. Miz became a punching bag for Dreamer later in the match, but it also allowed Morrison to hit Dreamer with a neckbreaker variation for the win, so it worked. Didn't get the time. *3/4.   Stevie Richards had a sitdown interview with Joey Styles, hopefully he'll be back soon. The brand could use him. ___________________   Kofi Kingston faces James Curtis next...   - This wasn't very good either. Kingston won with his kick, and my time disappeared. Needless to say, I wasn't about to go find it. DUD. ___________________   Here's the Gulf of Mexico match, between CM Punk and Chavo Guerrero.   - I thought these two should have an Extreme Rules match, but not like this. Dusty's hand is all over this show. They brawled out of the arena, and tossed each other onto cars. I liked it.   - The concept is definitely WrestleCrap, but the actual match wasn't, at all. Punk GTS'd Chavo into the Gulf at 7:12. **1/4. Good match, and end show. ___________________   The show as a whole was a pile of shit. There were decent matches, but it was so uninteresting. I'll call it bad, best segment was the Gulf of Mexico match and the worst was Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis. Kingston has not been good thus far. ___________________   Next column will have the Boston show from 9/6/86 (I already took notes, so I'm not backing out), original ECW, and Friday Night Smackdown. Should be up on Saturday.   The Savage and Liz Coliseum Video is going to get a review all on its own, which should be up on Sunday, I think. I have this planned out well, for once.
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Review: Macho Man Randy Savage & Elizabeth Coliseum Video.

I'll preface this by saying that I got the dates for the matches on this from thehistoryofthewwe.com. Without it, writing these would be harder. As a big Savage fan, watching this is...well, gold. ___________________   In the opening of the program, Gene Okerlund says that Randy Savage doesn't deserve Elizabeth. Somehow, that brings us to... ___________________   Well, Hulk Hogan's about to face a guy named Rusty Brooks, on Championship Wrestling from 10/22/85. For some reason, Randy Savage and Elizabeth are at ringside. Elizabeth gets in the ring, and asks why Hogan doesn't wrestle anyone with credentials. OUCH. Brooks attacks Hulk, but he HULKS UP BROTHER, clothesline, bodyslam, DROP THE FUCKING LEG for the three count at 37 seconds. 1/2*. After the bout, Savage attacks Hogan, only to be thwarted and tossed out of the ring. The crowd was nuts and the angle was great, so all in all, good addition to the "tape." ___________________   Hogan vs. Savage from MSG on 1/27/86 is joined in progress...remember, I don't review JIP's, but if clipped and I don't notice, then it's ok. Macho's wearing the crimson mask, and after ramming Hogan into the ringpost, he wins via countout. ___________________   Now we get a full match, that being Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan in a Lumberjack Match for the WWF Title, from 2/17/86 at MSG. The lumberjacks are...George Steele, the Hart Foundation, King Kong Bundy, Dan Spivey, Don Muraco, Barry O, Les Thornton, Ricky Steamboat, Tony Atlas, Lanny Poffo, Nikolai Volkoff, the Iron Sheik, and Corporal Kirchner.   Well, this sounds good. Savage attacks Hogan at the beginning of the match, but Hulk comes back with a few rights and a clothesline. Hogan's ribs are taped, as we notice when he rips off his shirt, and he hits Savage a few times with his title belt. Hogan gives Savage a back suplex, and tosses him to the outside. The lumberjacks do not do their job, giving Savage time to collect his thoughts. It seemed not to have worked, though, because Savage came in and was tossed around. Hogan rammed him into the ringpost during a bearhug, and hit him with a running elbow to the head. Savage was then given an atomic drop, but Hogan's momentum was stopped after King Kong Bundy distracted him by pulling his leg. Hogan hit Bundy, but Savage capitalized with a knee to the back and a double axhandle from the top rope, which gets a 3 count. Savage tosses Hogan out, and all the heel lumberjacks beat on Hogan, with Muraco and Bundy doing most of the work. Savage tosses Hogan out when he gets back in the ring, and the same thing happens again. Savage goes up top and gives Hogan another double axhandle from the top rope for a 2 count, and a clothesline for a 2 count. Savage pulls the tape off Hogan's ribs, and comes off the top rope with another double axhandle to the ribs for 2. Savage then gives Hogan a kneedrop for 2, and an elbowdrop for 2. Savage chokes Hogan along one of the ropes, and gives him another axhandle for 2. Ok, it's starting to get repetitive. Savage goes up to the top, AND DROPS THE ELBOW. It gets 2, cause it's time to HULK UP BROTHER. 3 punches, big boot, but Savage rakes Hogan's eyes. They begin to CRISS-CROSS, but George Steele trips up Savage, so Hogan DROPS THE FUCKING LEG for 3 at 7:37. ***. Nice finish. ___________________   From Tuesday Night Titans, we have the segment where George Steele sends Elizabeth flowers with turnbuckle stuffing inside the box. My favorite part of that segment was when Savage told the delivery guy, "I'll TAKE YOU OUT, BOY!" It's impossible not to laugh at that. ___________________   There's a match from the 4th Saturday Night's Main Event which pits George Steele and Randy Savage against each other, but I'm not going to review it. My policy dictates that I can't, no matter how bad it may be. When they post that event in full, I will. ___________________   Mean Gene is at Macho's house now, interviewing these two people who wanted to meet Savage before their honeymoon(?). Savage pulled up in a limo, so Liz gives Gene a tour of the pool area. Savage is working out, but he stops when Gene approaches him. So they talk. Gene asked Savage about the Intercontinental Title, but Savage says that he only NEEDS the World Title, and his career will be over. Macho Madness is more seductive than sex, YEAH. These two groups offered Savage a ton of money to do things for them, but he said no thanks. The new wife (that was out front) jumped in the pool, but Savage wanted her OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW, YEAHHHHHHHHHH! ___________________   Next was a JIP version of Savage's Intercontinental Title win over Tito Santana at the Boston Garden from 2/8/86, which not only got Savage the title belt, but helped to further the Danny Davis angle later on. Do I need to cover that, or does everyone know what that is? Anyway, Savage won after hitting Tito with a foreign object. It was great. ___________________   We're now at Jesse Ventura's Body Shop, with Savage as the guest. As the new Intercontinental Champion, Savage said he'd let Elizabeth hold the belt. NOT SO FAST. He changed his mind. ___________________   Tito Santana had his rematch against Randy Savage on 3/16/86 at Madison Square Garden, but it's joined in progress. We got to see quite a bit of the action, and when Tito applied a figure-four leglock, Savage pulled the referee down to the canvas, getting himself disqualified. Cool. ___________________   There's another match between Santana and Savage (from 4/22/86) that's joined in progress, and it's also a NO DQ match. Savage bled like a champ, and when in the figure four, he slugged the referee in the head, so he wouldn't be counted down. Hey, there's no DQ. Tito rolled up Savage, but Savage reversed and held the tights to retain his title. ___________________   In what is seemingly Tito Santana's last attempt, he'll face Randy Savage at MSG on 5/18/86 for the Intercontinental Title, and Bruno Sammartino is the special guest referee.   This was shown in full, thankfully. Tito starts things off with a wristlock, and he knocks Savage out of the ring. Seeing as that just occured, Savage is a little hesitant to engage with Santana. They lock up, and Savage armdrags Santana, before doing his little "wave my finger around in circles" taunt. Tito replies with an armdrag, but Savage takes him to the ropes with a headlock. Bruno breaks the hold, which causes Savage to argue with him. Tito sneaks up from behind and rolls Savage up for 2, which only makes Savage angrier. Savage chokes Tito at the ropes, and comes off the top with an axhandle. Savage knees Tito in the back, and takes him down to the canvas for a 2 count. Savage goes to the chinlock, but Tito elbows his way out, only to be thrown over the top rope and to the floor. BOMBS AWAY from Savage, and he throws Tito back in. Savage slams Tito, and gives him a kneedrop for 2. Tito headbutts Savage in response, and both collide in the center of the ring as Savage was running the ropes. Savage goes to the top, but Tito hits him on his way down, and knees Savage, knocking him out of the ring. Tito brings Savage back in, and rams his face into the mat a few times. Tito backdrops him, and goes for the FIGURE-FOUR, but Savage reaches the ropes. Tito charges at Savage in the corner, but eats Savage's knees for a 2 count. Tito gives Savage a small package for two, and a clothesline. He goes for the FIGURE-FOUR again, but Savage pokes him in the eye. Savage gives Tito a gutwrench suplex for two, and goes for an atomic drop, which was reversed and turned into a FIGURE-FOUR. Some woman comes out of the crowd and attacks Tito, rest assured, that's Adrian Adonis, which gets Savage disqualified at 10:00. Savage attacks Bruno. Bruno takes a pounding, until Tito comes back in and stops the attack with a chair. ***1/2. Adonis' entry was a pretty good surprise, for me, anyway. Great match. So far, everything on this video has been worth watching. ___________________   This brings us to Adrian Adonis and Randy Savage w/Jimmy Hart vs. Tito Santana and Bruno Sammartino at MSG on 6/14/86, but first, Gorilla Monsoon interviews Savage and Adonis. Good interview.   The heels attack at the beginning of the match, but Santana and Bruno clean them out and toss both over the top. The crowd is off the charts throughout the match, to touch on that. They brawl on the outside, until about 2:45, when they decide that they want the match to start. Bruno attacks Savage when Savage goes to the top, and he tosses Savage into Adonis. Bruno knees Savage for 2, and Tito tags in. Tito clotheslines Savage, and rams his face into the mat. Tito rams Savage into Bruno's boot, and then to the buckle. Bruno tags in, along with Adonis. Bruno armdrags him, and both babyfaces beat on Adonis Tito gives Adonis a crossbody for 2, and applies a headlock to Adonis. Adonis gives Santana a backsuplex, and both Bruno and Savage tag back in. Bruno gives Savage a big boot, and begins to work on Savage, but Adonis pulls Savage out of the ring to save him. Savage comes back in and begs, but Bruno stomps on him, knocking him out of the ring. Tito hits Savage with a chair, but Bruno's cover only gets a 2 count. Extremely fast paced, this is. Adonis tags in, as does Santana, and Adonis is able to gain control. He slams Tito, but misses a big splash off the top rope. Savage runs to the top rope, and gives Tito an axhandle so that he can't make the tag. Adonis slams Santana again, but he misses an elbowdrop. Savage and Bruno tag in, to begin the pier-six. Tito grabs Jimmy Hart, and Adonis hits him from behind, on the outside. Savage goes to the top, and it's BOMBS AWAY time for Bruno on the outside. And that gets Bruno and Tito counted out at around 9:42. ***3/4. Awesome stuff, to say the least.   Good end to the video... ___________________   Rating: Excellent. Everything on this was must-see stuff.   Best Segment: Savage and Adonis vs. Bruno and Tito. Yeah.   Worst Segment: Uh, Savage vs. Steele from SNME, but while the actual match wasn't great, the excess stuff certainly was. It was a good segment, but everything else was better. That's how good this video was. ___________________   I'll have a few star ratings for some ladder matches up on Tuesday, and RAW as well.
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Review: WWF Monday Night RAW, from Atlantic City, New Jersey; 8/15/1997.

Let's see how this compares to Nitro, shall we? ___________________   Rick Rude comes out, and wants everyone to shut up. I thought he was going to launch into the old routine. Similar, but instead of taking his robe off, he just asked everyone to be quiet. He cracks a few insurance jokes, and leaves. He sells insurance to all. ___________________   Owen Hart and The British Bulldog will face The Legion of Doom in our first match.   - Slaughter and Shawn Michaels were arguing in the back prior to this...   - At about the four minute mark, Animal tags in, and the Godwinns head down to the ring. One of them hits Animal with a slop bucket, and Owen pins Animal for the win at 4:58. *3/4. After the bout, all three teams fight. Nothing was solved. ___________________   Mankind has some comments about Taker...he still hasn't forgotten their feud not so long ago.   Shawn Michaels says that he's mad about the WWF, then we've got ___________________   Sunny to the ring, to introduce Brian Christopher vs. Flash Funk.   - Both Christopher and Funk had some recorded comments. Christopher wanted to face a heavyweight after his disappointing loss to Taka Michinoku. Vince's comments that try to put Flash over are hilarious. "Oh he's so funky." Picture it. Lawler wants his son to give Funk a piledriver, but his words distract Christopher, leading to a Funk 450 splash for the victory at 3:41. **. ___________________   Taker comments on Shawn, and then says that Mankind had better stay in line. Well, he's right. ___________________   The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik is up against Ken Shamrock.   - Shamrock is quite popular. Sheik jumps up on the apron and is given a belly-to-belly suplex. Shamrock rana's Sultan, slaps on the ANKLE LOCK, and Sultan taps out at 3:16. *1/2. Dominant performance. ___________________   The Nation of Domination comes down for an interview...Faarooq first. He says that Ahmed Johnson is a white man. No shit. He said that Ahmed couldn't be white if they sandblasted his ass. Very harsh. Just kidding about the "no shit" comment in regards to Ahmed being white. Rocky's got the microphone now, and calls the Disciples of Apocalypse a bunch of racists. Well, the Harris Brothers are part of the faction. I'd call it likely. It's a good heat promo from Rocky too. Calls the fans jackasses and that sort of thing, until DOA pop up on the TitanTron. They're there to kick ass. Come on down to the parking lot and they'll fight.   After HHH cuts a promo, they do fight. Until Los Boricuas take DOA's choppers. LOL. ___________________   Jesse Jammes vs. Brian Pillman in a dress...   - Funny dress, this one. I don't like this angle anymore. Goldust comes out and elbowdrops Jammes, which leads to Pillman getting DQ'd at 1:47. Good finish. That should happen in all "you must ________ if you lose" matches.   - Afterward, Pillman says that he'll leave if Goldust can beat him. Well! But, if Pillman beats Goldust, Marlena has to be Pillman's personal assistant for thirty days. Goldust declines, but Pillman says that Dakota is his lovechild. Goldust runs to the ring to beat Pillman up, but can't get to him. Marlena accepts Pillman's challenge, and Goldust ain't too happy about it. ___________________   Vader cuts a promo, and now that the Warzone has begun, it's TIME. Vader's facing the Patriot.   - Bret comes down the aisle, just to stand there. Don't like the way they use Vader, jobbing him out, I mean. Bret being out to watch sucks all the heat out of the match. Or maybe this is the Atlantic City crowd. We'll see. Full nelson slam gets the win for the Patriot at 4:56. Good win for him. **.   Vader knocks the Patriot off the apron, and beats him up on the inside. He's going to give Patriot a VADER BOMB, but Bret places the Canadian flag on Patriot. That pissed Vader off pretty bad. Vader breaks the Canadian flag, then he and Bret fight. Patriot won't let Vader get beat up, either. Go Vader! ___________________   Bret cuts a promo in the back, says that Vader's next after the Patriot. Well, go figure.   Steve Austin had a great sit down interview with Jim Ross in which he talked about his neck injury. Great. Great. Great. ___________________   Triple H and Shawn Michaels w/Chyna are now going to face The Undertaker and Mankind in the main event...   - Shawn's interaction with Chyna prior to the match was funny. Think it's kinda funny that WWF and WCW ran two big tag matches on the same night.   - All these dudes are still involved with the company. BUT TAKER RETIURD!1!11!1   - Before the commercial, Rick Rude came out. Good. Total brawl in front of a not heated AC crowd, Rude distracts, which leads to HHH being given a chokeslam by Taker. Shawn hits Taker in the head with a chair for the DQ at 8:31, and Taker blades. Again in the head, then Taker sits up, and the future DX leaves. All over. **3/4. ___________________   Rating: Great. Angles were really top notch, and wrestling was okay for TV. However, crowd sucked a fat one.   Best Segment: I liked when Vader kicked Bret's ass.   Worst Segment: Pillman in a dress. ___________________   RAW wins this time, by far. Next I'll review Vengeance 2007.  
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Review: WWF Survivor Series 1994, from San Antonio, TX, 11/23/1994.

Like I said....but this one was a hard one to finish. Very long. ___________________   The beginning of the show starts with the Survivor Series teams gameplanning (that a word?) for their respective teams...Gorilla Monsoon and Vince McMahon are on commentary. That won't be good.   The first match is the Teamsters: (WWF Tag Team Champion) Diesel, (WWF Tag Team Champion) Shawn Michaels, "Double J" Jeff Jarrett, Jim the Anvil Neidhart, and "The King of Harts" Owen Hart vs. Da Bad Guys: (WWF Intercontinental Champion) Razor Ramon, The 1-2-3 Kid, the British Bulldog, Fatu, and Sionne (The Barbarian)w/Captain Lou Albano and Afa.   Blow-by-blow: For some reason, the Headshrinkers are wearing boots. This will come into play later. Seemingly, fireworks just came out of HBK's shoulderpads. WHOA, DUDE. Both teams won't leave the ring for quite a while, but Kid and Owen start the match. Fatu's having problems with his boots, as Neidhart comes in instead. He gives Kid a shoulderblock, but Kid comes back with a dropkick. Neidhart gives him another shoulderblock, and tags in Jarrett. Jarrett avoids a charge to the corner, and Kid gives him a spin kick. Jarrett misses a sunset flip, and Kid covers him for 2, and then tags in Sionne. I don't know why Samu ever left, so... Anyhow, Sionne gives Jarrett a press slam, and charges into the corner, but Jarrett gets his feet up. He goes up top for a clothesline, and gets in, but only getss a 2 count. Owen tags in, as does Bulldog, and they both trade the armwringer sequence that Owen likes to do, with the kip-up and all. Bulldog slingshots Owen into his teams corner, and they all take their turn at beating up Owen. The crowd liked that. Bulldog gives him a press slam, but gets enziguri'd by Owen afterward. Owen and Neidhart gives Bulldog a clothesline, as Anvil tags in, and Anvil pulls on Bulldog's hair for a bit. Bulldog clotheslines both Owen and Neidhart, then gives Neidhart a delayed vertical suplex. Fatu tags in, and gets a headbutt off the top rope, but the boot bothers him, keeping him from making the pin. Because Fatu's wild, see. Anyway, Fatu gets a powerslam, then tags in Razor Ramon. Jarrett gives Razor an armdrag, then struts, and then takes him down, and gives him some paintbrush type slaps on the head. Razor comes back with a clothesline, and then gives Jarrett another, putting him over the top and to the floor. Razor gives him a fallaway slam on the inside, then tags in Kid, and fallaway slams him onto Jarrett for 2. Jarrett applies an abdominal stretch, but Kid reverses, and Jarrett reverses that, tossing Kid out to the floor. Jarrett tries to suplex Kid in, but can't, so Kid takes his legs out, and tags in Fatu. Owen tags in and gives Fatu a spinning leg lariat for 2, then rams Fatu into the buckle. Cause he's Samoan, that does nothing. Owen gives him a DDT, which doesn't do anything either, so Fatu gives him a superkick. Diesel comes in off the tag and turns Fatu inside out with a clothesline, then gives him the JACKKNIFE for the 3 count at 13:31.   That was fast. Kid gives him a sunset flip off the top, but can't get Diesel to the canvas, so Diesel picks him up by the neck, throws him, then gives him the JACKKNIFE for 2 at 14:12.   Sionne comes in, and gets a JACKKNIFE from Diesel at 14:44. Yeesh.   Bulldog comes in, and Diesel gives him a big boot to put him outside, then Owen, Jarrett and Neidhart keep him from getting back to the ring, counting Bulldog out at 15:02.   Razor rolls up Diesel, but only gets 2. He's the only one left, you know? Razor gives Diesel a bulldog off the top after a missed charge, but HBK breaks the cover up. Diesel gives Razor Snake Eyes, as the crowd's been going nuts pretty much for the duration of the match. Diesel tries to do it again, but can't, so Razor slams him and calls for the RAZOR'S EDGE. Diesel counters with a backdrop, and gets the big boot. Diesel gives Razor the JACKKNIFE, then HBK tells Diesel to hold up Razor for SWEET CHIN MUSIC. HBK hasn't tagged in yet, if you couldn't tell. HBK gives SCM to Diesel on accident, so Diesel's pissed at HBK. He chases HBK to the back, and hits all of his teammates on the way there. All the Teamsters get counted out at 21:46...as we go to Todd Pettingill in the match. He's with a frantic HBK, who's trying to leave the arena. Well, he gets in his car and leaves, but not before throwing his tag team belt on the ground. Guess the title is vacated.   Survivor: Razor Ramon.   Match Analysis: Good booking. Can't think of much else to say, it was a good way to establish Diesel as being unstoppable, justifying him getting a title shot and winning. I liked it, but there was a lot going on. Almost too much, really. ***1/4. ___________________   Great, just what I was looking forward to. It's the Royal Family: Jerry the King Lawler, Queazy, Sleazy and Cheezy vs. Clowns R Us: Doink, Dink, Wink and Pink. Save us all.   Blow-by-blow: Doink starts the match with an enziguri, and Lawler tries to do the same, but can't. All the Doinks run over Lawler as Lawler's on the canvas, and Lawler's team does the same. Please stop. Lawler puts Doink down, and Lawler's midgets try to run over Doink, but trip and fall. Doink slams Lawler three times, and all Doink's midgets pin Lawler, but they're not legal in the match, so no count. Lawler slams Doink, and his midgets do the same, but he tosses them away. This shit is not funny at all. Dink runs in and puts a Burger King crown on Lawler, so Sleazy comes in, and we have a chickenfight. Anyway, Sleazy tries to put Lawler on his shoulders, but falls, putting Lawler flat on his face. Dink headbutts Cheezy, and the midgets do a criss-cross sequence. Doink's team runs Lawler's over...then Lawler grabs a foreign object out of his trunks, and hits Doink with it. All Lawler's team chokes Doink, but Doink rams Lawler into them. Doink gets a hiptoss, then Doink's team chases Lawler's around the ring apron, but Doink goes for a springboard crossbody, which gets reversed by Lawler after grabbing the tights, for Doink's elimination at 10:32.   Queazy and Dink tag in, and they both trade biting each other on the ass. Then Dink bites Lawler on the ass, as Wink and Cheezy tag in. Wink grabs Cheezy's beard and tags in Dink, who comes in with an axhandle off the top, and a monkeyflip, but Queazy covers Wink with his feet on the ropes at 13:06. Came out of nowhere.   Nothing happens for a minute, pretty much, until Lawler slams Cheezy on Wink for a 3 count at 14:27.   Dink gets a suplex as he comes in, and gives Cheezy and Queazy a double noggin-knocker. Dink goes up top for a CROSSBODY, but Lawler breaks the cover, and Queazy distracts the referee, so Sleazy can reverse the pinfall for the win at 16:03.   Survivors: The entire team of the Royal Family.   After the match, all Lawler's midgets chase Lawler outside of the ring, after Lawler said he hated short people, and then Doink's midgets came out from under the ring, cornered Lawler, and chased him down the aisle, at which point he turned around and Doink threw a pumpkin pie in his face. Wow.   Match Analysis: I think this may have been the worst comedy match I've ever watched. Why'd the scene after the match have to be so long? I've seen worse matches, all of them being ones that were supposed to be serious. But no comedy match this bad, ever. Wish I'd have been spared. -*****. ___________________   This next match is for the World Wrestling Federation Title, and basically, the only reason I wanted to watch this show in the first place. It's a submission match, and the wrestlers second has to throw the towel in, in order for them to lose. Simple, right? The challenger is Bob Backlund w/Owen Hart, and the champion is Bret Hart w/the British Bulldog. Backlund's crossface-chickenwing was portrayed as a death move on TV leading up to this match. Not only that, but in the age of entrance music being a big thing...Backlund doesn't have any.   Blow-by-blow: Bret Hart's family is there, of course, but in a moment that's a little strange...Helen and Stu are down at ringside, while the rest of Bret's family is upstairs, in a premium seating area, or so it would seem. Hart slams Backlund at the beginning, and gives Backlund a hiptoss. He armdrags Backlund out to the floor, and on the inside, headbutts him. Backlund bails again, but Bulldog puts him back into the ring. Hart slams Backlund and gives him a bulldog, and holds onto the headlock. While doing so, Backlund gives him a back suplex, but Hart comes back with a European uppercut, and goes to the chinlock. Backlund gives him a shoulderblock, but Hart goes back to the headlock. Backlund whips him into the ropes, and gives him a droptoehold. To note, this match is moving quite slowly. Not in a bad way, though. Backlund tries the chickenwing, but can't get the hold applied. The wrestlers do a reversal sequence that eventually winds up in a headlock applied by Bret, then Hart gives Backlund a belly-to-belly suplex. Bret tries for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Backlund kicks away from it. Bret applies an abdominal stretch, but Backlund hiptosses out of it. Backlund tries to slam Bret, but Bret lands on top. No cover, though, remember, it's a submission match. Bret gives Backlund a slam of his own, but misses an elbowdrop off the 2nd rope. Backlund works on the arm, and puts Hart into the buckle, He tries for the chickenwing again, but can't get it, so he kicks Bret's arm instead. Backlund applies a fujiwara armbar, then gives Bret a head stomp. I really like when wrestlers kick their opponent in the head. Don't know why. Bret kips up, but Backlund gives Bret a forearm which knocks Bret out of the ring. Owen gets Bret's attention once Bret gets back in the ring, so Backlund can regain control. Backlund elbows Bret in the face, then applies an armbar again. Bret slams him, but it doesn't force Backlund to release the hold. Hart gives him a swinging neckbreaker, but Backlund just WON'T release the arm of Bret. Bret gives him an inverted atomic drop, which finally gets Backlund to release the hold. Now Bret tries the figure-four leglock, and gets the hold locked in. Backlund asks for the towel to be thrown in, but there's no way Owen'll do it. Backlund reverses the hold, but Bret re-reverses it. Backlund finally gets to the ropes, and Hart starts to work on the knee. He wrenches it, kneedrops it, and elbows it, then repeats the same sequence again. Bret goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Backlund gets to the ropes before the hold is applied. Backlund punches Bret a few times, then goes for a PILEDRIVER, which he gets. Now Backlund goes for his finisher AGAIN, but can't get it. So he headbutts Bret, and gives Bret a swinging neckbreaker. There's a uniqueness to the match, and it's the style of Backlund. Sort of a realness, funny as that is. He puts Bret into the buckle twice, but Backlund misses a charge. He tries another PILEDRIVER, but Bret counters it with a backdrop. Backlund goes for the sleeper, but Bret runs towards the buckle and ducks, leading Backlund to hit his head on the buckle and break the hold. A Backlund shoulderblock brings a collision, and Hart gets up first with a legdrop. Bret gets a PILEDRIVER, then another bulldog and a russian leg sweep to boot. Bret gets a backbreaker and elbow off the 2nd rope, and now it's time for the SHARPSHOOTER. Owen distracts Bulldog, getting him to chase Owen, and Owen takes the chase into the ring, where the referee tries to usher Bulldog out, and Owen gives Bret a bulldog, forcing Bret to break the hold. Whew. Bulldog starts chasing Owen again, but Owen ducks and Bulldog goes head first into the steel stairs, "knocking" Bulldog out cold. Backlund locks on the crossface-chickenwing, as Owen begins to show concern for Davey. "This wasn't what I wanted," and all that. Owen's "crying," and he tells Bret he's sorry. Bret tries to power out of the hold, but he can't. This whole sequence continues for 8 MINUTES, as Owen tells his mother this wasn't what he wanted. He keeps begging Helen to throw in the towel, and once the barricade is removed so Helen and Stu can come ringside, Helen grabs the towel. She tries to throw it, but Stu prevents her from doing so. Bret hasn't moved for a while, to sell the hold, of course. It looks like a deadly move. About a minute later, Helen snatches the towel out of Stu's hand and throws it in, and the referee rings the bell at 35:17, which gives Backlund his SECOND WWF TITLE. Backlund immediately releases the hold, to boos from the crowd, as Owen runs backstage with Bret's towel, in celebration. Faker. Help comes ringside, to bring Bret backstage. Of course, that was a route they had to take, because they wanted to put the title on Diesel, and all that.   Match Analysis: EXTREMELY LONG for a WWF match, and most surprisingly, not the type of match they'd had since Backlund was the champion. Featured a ton of mat wrestling, which is certainly an acquired taste. If you don't like it, you won't like the match. But I enjoyed the mat wrestling, SO....***3/4. A bit of overkill as far as how long the hold was applied, but certainly necessary. Vince bemoans the state of the New Generation...well, he ain't kidding. Unfortunately, it could and DID get a whole lot worse. ___________________   Bam Bam Bigelow, Tatanka, King Kong Bundy, Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Prichard w/ Ted DiBiase and Jim Cornette vs. Lex Luger, Bart Gunn, Billy Gunn, Adam Bomb, and Mabel w/Mo is the 5th match of the night, and one that interests me, in a weird way. Funny lineup.   Blow-by-blow: Lex and Tatanka start, and Tatanka's chops and right hands don't do a thing to the Lex Express. Tatanka suplexes Lex, but of course, Lex no-sells it. Luger gives him a face smash and two clotheslines, then clotheslines Tatanka out to the floor. Luger press slams Tatanka onto Bigelow, so both Mabel and Bundy tag in. That's a lot of obesity right there. Bundy decides to get out, and Prichard takes his place. Mabel slams Prichard, but misses an elbowdrop. Mabel takes a kneedrop from Prichard, but gets a backdrop, and then, he goes UP TO THE 2ND ROPE, giving Prichard a crossbody off, for the elimination at 3:58.   Del Ray tries to dropkick Mabel, but can't do it, so Mabel gives him that Bossman slam thing. Bundy comes in, and both men's shoulderblocks don't do a thing, until Mabel tries for a 2nd time and finally, Bundy goes down. Bam Bam tags in, and Mabel gives hima spinning heel kick and goes UP to the TOP, but Bigelow slams him down. Bigelow tries for a sunset flip from the top, but Mabel sits on him. Mabel clotheslines him over the top and to the floor, but Mabel hits his head on the concrete, and gets counted out, at about 7:27.   Billy comes in, and bridges out of a pinfall into a backslide for 2. It really had no place in the match whatsoever, he just did it. Bomb comes in, and gets a droptoehold, but tries for a crossbody and misses, falling to the outside. He gets a slingshot clothesline back in, and 2 clotheslines, before Bundy stops his little rally with a clothesline to the back of Bomb's head. Bigelow gives Bomb a bulldog, and then a moonsault to put Bomb out at 9:09. Guess it's a good thing I changed my username.   Lex comes in with a quick roll-up for 2, in an attempt to catch Bigelow off guard, and Del Ray tags back in. He gets a superkick, but on the Irish whip Lex avoids a clothesline, and then gets the RUNNING FOREARM for the pinfall at 10:55. Hate his finisher with a passion, I do.   Bart tags in and slams Tatanka, which gets a 2 count. Billy comes in, and gets a legdrop for 2. The Gunns get a double russian leg sweep for 2, and Billy stays in, and gets a slam. They work over Tatanka for a while, namely getting a monkey flip for 2. Bart gives him a sidewalk slam, but after Tatanka reverses an Irish whip, Tatanka gives Bart the END OF THE BAH GAWD TRAIL for 2 at 14:28. End of the Trail = samoan drop.   Lex comes in with an axhandle off the top rope, and Billy comes in with a hiptoss for 2. An elbowdrop gets 2, and then Lex gets a slam. Tatanka gives Billy a powerslam, then tags Bundy, who misses an elbowdrop, but gets a AVALANCHE in the corner for 3 at 17:14. It's Luger vs Bundy, Bigelow and Tatanka.   Tatanka tries to sneak in and beat Luger up, and Bigelow comes in, but misses a charge. Lex clotheslines Bigelow and Tatanka. Close 2 count on the cover against Tatanka, and then Luger gives him a sunset flip, but Tatanka tagged Bigelow so there wasn't a cover. Bigelow gives Luger a suplex for 2, and then Bundy comes in and gets a kneedrop for 2. DiBiase taunts Luger, as Bigelow comes in, and gets a falling headbutt for 2. Bundy puts Luger to the buckle, and gets an elbowdrop for 2. Tatanka tags in and gets a powerslam for 2, and I swear, Vince McMahon is the worst commentator ever. On every 2 count during this match, the "ohhegothimnohedidnt" was running strong. Tatanka gives Lex three elbowdrops, but Lex cradles him out of nowhere, putting Tatanka out at 23:14.   Almost immediately, Bundy comes in and gives Luger a big splash, at 23:22, gaining the win for his team. Luger gets attacked after the match, and given the END OF THE TRAIL. Bigelow and Bundy both do a few damaging attacks, so all of Luger's team runs out to make the save, and they clean house. Well, Mabel took a while getting there, so he clotheslined the Heavenly Bodies in the aisleway.   Survivors: King Kong Bundy and Bam Bam Bigelow.   Match Analysis: Good booking that established Mabel as a threat, and entertaining too, but this match pretty much solidified the fact that Luger was going to also-ran territory. Anyhow, weird placement, as if they were trying to build up the crowd, and although the main event had heat, I'm not so sure it was because of this. They would have been better served to put this as the opener, but who am I to say so? I just don't see the need to put a match with many lower carders this late in the show. My .02. Anyhow, it's **. ___________________   Todd Pettingill's with Bob Backlund, who says he beat Bret to save our society, and that he really doesn't care about the "New Generation." Not a bad promo, but why should I care?   Anyhow, the main event is a casket match, and of course, it's Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer. Oh yeah, CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS is on the outside, keeping Yoko from having help in beating Taker like last time, at Royal Rumble 1994.   Blow-by-blow: During Undertaker's entrance, the video wall separates, for him to walk out of. Yeah, that was strange. Once Taker gets in the ring, he points to the casket and tells Yoko that he's goin' in. Yokozuna gives Taker an avalanche in the corner, but it doesn't do a thing. Yoko gets rammed into the casket, and then, Taker rams him into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Taker delivers OLD SCHOOL, but Yoko comes back with a samoan drop. Taker no-sells it, but gets clotheslined. Another no-sell follows, so Yokozuna gives him ROCK BOTTOM, ROCK BOTTOM....and a legdrop. Yoko drags him to the casket, and puts Taker inside, but Taker pulls Yoko in too, and they fight. Fuji grabs Taker, so Taker chases him, and hits Cornette on his way. Inside again, Yoko slams Taker, then knocks him out of the ring and rams him into the steps. Yoko chokes Taker, and now the match begins to slow down a bit. This goes for a while, until Taker gives him a clothesline, and then goes up top and does the same. To the casket we go, as King Kong Bundy and Bam Bam Bigelow grace us with their presence. Needless to say, they're scared of Chuck Norris. Who isn't? IRS comes into the ring, and Norris isn't noticing, and IRS applies a sleeper on the Undertaker. He puts Taker in the casket and disapperars, but Yoko can't shut the lid, because Taker got up. Taker chokes him, and Jeff Jarrett makes his way to the ring, but he gets KARAAAAAATTTTTE kicked by Norris and knocked out. Taker gives Yoko a flying clothesline and running DDT, then a big boot which puts Yokozuna in the casket. Taker grabs Fuji's Japanese flag, breaks it and throws it inside, then shuts the lid for the win at 15:25.   Match Analysis: That was a million times better than I thought it would be. So much so, that I won't go into negatives. It was the right way to end the Taker/Yoko thing, with the outside interference not getting the job done, and the seeming nature of a squash throughout the match. Honestly, it felt like that the whole way, IMO. Better than it had any right to be, but still 1/2*. It wasn't good.   Show's over! ___________________   Rating: Decent. I'm being kind, but Backlund/Hart is certainly worth a look. Considering that, you kinda have to watch it. I'm generous to this show because I started watching wrestling in 1994, and it is one of my favorite time periods. Not because it was good, but because I liked it when I was a kid.   Best Match: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart for the WWF Title. Self explanatory.   Worst Match: Lawler's team vs. Doink's team. I never want to watch that again.   Loudest Sound: The Undertaker, Razor Ramon, Diesel and Owen Hart.   No Sound: The Heavenly Bodies, Smoking Gunns, Tatanka, and Adam Bomb. That's half the people in a match, and really no embellishment. ___________________   Not reviewing the roundtable, but I watched it last night. Really, really fun watch. This channel is great, and really, the main reason I watch wrestling. If it wasn't around, I probably wouldn't watch, because such a large library wouldn't be easy to access.
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I'm so uncontent.

I need to find work. I need a job where I come in contact with a lot of people, because the lack of contact that I've had with people over the last few months due to not having work or class is driving me crazy. I'm probably going to work at the grocery store or some shit so that I can save enough money for this ghetto JuCo up the street. It's not like I have to pay a car payment or an insurance payment, because I gave my older, already paid for car to my brother so that I wouldn't have to pay the insurance. I don't pay rent either, only for my food out of money that I earn doing odd jobs.   I'm broke as fuck, and not really liking my situation right now. It's not like I'm some fat slob that's just sitting here on the computer all day doing nothing, I'm a healthy guy that has been doing stuff every day in order to curve my boredom. That stuff costs, and I'm out of a way to pay for it. It's not like there's something wrong with me that's keeping me from getting a job, but for some reason, I don't have one. I've looked for work constantly. I'm pretty fortunate to be where I am right now, with people that care about me, but I need to find something for myself. I feel kinda empty. If this sounds like some angsty rant, well, it probably is, because I'm tired and pissed off at myself right now. After all, that's what blogs are for, pissing and moaning.
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Review: Roddy Piper Content Block

Yeah, I don't know what to call this. Hence the shitty title.       FINALLY, NEW CONTENT! ___________________   Just a synopsis of the 40-or so minute piece they posted...   Highlights from Piper's Pit.   Roddy Piper v. Jack Brisco for the Mid-Atlantic Title. Piper wins after hitting Brisco with a roll of pennies. Piper wanted 10,000 dollars to face Brisco in the first place, and Wahoo McDaniel and Ricky Steamboat each had to put up 2,000 dollars in order for it to be paid. David Crockett looks strange without graying hair and a beard. Very strange.   Now, the Frank Williams Piper's Pit. I think everyone's seen it a million times.   Then, the Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan and Mr. T match from Wrestlemania I is shown in its entirety, but I'm not reviewing it. When they post WM I or post this in the shorties section, I'll review it. But not now, because I don't particularly review things in the HOF or DVD documentaries they show. I either summarize, or give my opinions of what's on screen. And I like Piper a LOT, I don't need to bore everyone with that. The ring's real bouncy, which is odd for WWF action. I'm not used to that when watching the WWF.   His Hall of Fame induction finishes, and now, to the matches that have been posted. ___________________   In chronological order...   First, we have Roddy Piper vs. Jake Roberts from Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, and the match aired on 6/23/1982. Bob Caudle and Ricky Steamboat are on commentary. Not that I can't believe it, because I can, but it's so ODD to see these two facing off on a syndicated program in the 80's. Unreal.   Blow-by-blow: Roddy's wearing plaid, and it looks like Jake borrowed from Piper's future wardrobe. Meaning that Jake's wearing blue, like Piper did later on in his career. Jake starts off with an armdrag, and both guys trade hipblocks. Piper with some HARD chops to the chest of Jake, and he applies a front facelock. Both men trade chops before Piper rakes Jake in the eyes, and Jake comes to his feet with blood on his face. Piper with a back suplex, and somehow Jake's knee winds up on top of Piper for a 2 count. Jake with a sunset flip for 2, and Piper gets a kneelift for two. Piper reverses a Jake bodyslam attempt so Piper can apply the sleeper hold, but Jake makes it to the ropes. Piper misses a kneedrop and Jake gets a backdrop. Jake gets a kneelift of his own for two, and as Jake goes to run the ropes, Sgt. SLAUGHTER trips Jake up, so Jake wins by DQ at 6:54. Piper hits Jake from behind, and Steamboat comes in to stop the attack. Of course, Piper leaves.   Match Analysis: Bizarre. I bet that if you asked someone in 1982 which one of the guys involved in this match would be the WWF Champion later on down the line, not many would say that Sgt. Slaughter would be the guy. Strange to see a match from that era without someone involved being dead. Speaking of that, none of these three matches have a dead person as one of the participants. Not something one would expect to see, now. *3/4. ___________________   The next match took place on 7/13/1985 at Madison Square Garden, and it's Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff.   Blow-by-blow: Orndorff and Piper trade right hands as the bell rings, and both men go out to the floor. Orndorff rams Piper into the guardrail, and on the inside, leaps off the top rope with a standing elbow to the head of Piper. Piper slaps Orndorff as Orndorff has him in an armwringer, and Piper gains control by ramming Orndorff's head into the turnbuckle. Orndorff locks the arm of Piper around Orndorff's leg and wrenches it, but Piper gets a high knee and clothesline. Unfortunately, the camera gives us a not-so-nice look at Orndorff's ass, to the point where his ass takes up the whole screen. Couldn't the production truck move off that? Anyway, an Orndorff backslide gets two, and after the count, Piper dumps him to the outside. Piper rams Orndorff into the post, and brings him back in. He gives Orndorff a front facelock and then a headlock takeover, but Orndorff bridges out into a backslide. No count though, Piper's feet are in the ropes. They trade blows, and Orndorff crossbody's Piper out to the floor. I know Piper likes that spot a lot, I've seen him do it before. In the next match, for one. Orndorff rams Piper's head into the apron, then drapes him along the top rope as he slams Piper's head into the mat while pulling him back in. Piper sells it hilariously, as his body goes into shakes and tremors. Bob Orton hits the ring, and pushes Orndorff off the top rope. For some reason, the ref doesn't disqualify Piper. Orton hits Orndorff with the cast, and now the bell rings at 8:44. Orndorff is busted open, and Orton and Piper give him a double suplex. The BRITISH BULLDOGS (yeah, that was a WTF moment. I didn't expect THEM to hit the ring.) come out to save Orndorff, and eventually they get the better of Orton and Piper to the point where the two heels are forced to leave. Orndorff wins, but he doesn't look satisfied.   Match Analysis: Good for Piper in the WWF. His matches in the WWF, for the most part, aren't that entertaining. That's not why I like him to begin with, though. **. ___________________   The last match posted in this update is for the Intercontinental Championship. It's the challenger, Bret Hart vs. the champion, Rowdy Roddy Piper. From Wrestlemania VIII, of course. Heenan's commentary is great. On a re-review of a particular match, when they post it again, so to say, I'll cover the commentary much more. So, yeah, the review of this show will be different for this particular match.   Blow-by-blow: Thankfully, they show the pre-match promo. I'll review that when the whole event is posted. Bret's in his all pink attire, and I don't know who the referee is. Both men trade armdrags before Piper takes Bret down to the canvas. Piper has his arms locked around Bret, and Bret runs and ducks down so that Piper goes out under the top rope. Clever. Piper spits at Bret to establish that he'll be playing the heel tonight, then we have a test of strength. Piper chops Bret after they exchange armwringers, and he rams Bret into the turnbuckle. Piper chops him more, and Bret gets a running dropkick. Bret plays possum on the canvas, holding his shoulder, then rolls Piper up for a 2 count. I think that's the first time he did that in the WWF, I'm not sure though. Piper slaps him, and now IT'S ON. Bret crossbody's Piper to the floor (see what I said about Piper liking that spot) even though it took a while for both men to get to the floor, and Piper holds the ring ropes open so that Bret can come back in. What a guy. Piper makes the referee check Bret for weapons, and Piper slugs Bret in the face with his left hand as Bret's head is down, so obviously, Bret couldn't see him. Wink, wink. Bret blades off the punch (blading was a no-no at the time) and Piper rams his head into the buckle. Piper with a bulldog that gets two and a dropkick for 2, but Bret comes back with a sunset flip for 2. Piper with some lefts and rights for 2, then a Bret flying forearm puts Piper out of the ring. Piper comes back in and both men clothesline each other. Piper goes up to the top as Bret is playing possum AGAIN, and he drapes Piper's feet on the ropes, then rams his face into the canvas. Here comes the usual, Bret with a inverted atomic drop, suplex, russian leg sweep and backbreaker, but Piper blocks the SHARPSHOOTER. Bret goes up to the 2nd rope for his elbowdrop, but he eats Piper's boot on the way down. The two combatants trade punches from their knees (I was going to say "trade blows from their knees," but for some reason, I didn't. Hopefully you can make sense of it.) and Piper rams Bret into the referee. Piper clotheslines Bret out, then rams him into the steel steps. Piper grabs the ringbell, but thinks better of using it. Cause he's a good guy at heart, 'ya know? He tosses the bell out and puts Bret in a sleeper hold, but Bret kicks the turnbuckle pad in the corner, and the momentum puts Bret on top of Piper for the 3 count, and the win, at 13:50. I can't describe the finish any better than that, sorry. It was like Bret-Austin at Survivor Series 1996.   Match Analysis: I won't say too much, but this match is WAY underrated. I don't see what keeps this from being a great match, considering that most people don't put it in that category. It told a great story, and moreover, helped launch Bret on his push that culminated in him winning the WWF title later in the year. Would it have been the same had Bret beaten the Mountie (or insert mid-card heel here) at WM 8 to get the title back? No, of course it wouldn't have. ****1/4. One of my favorite matches. ___________________   Same as the Undertaker DVD. When the rest is posted later this month, a full rating will follow. I'll say this much though, what they've posted is definitely watchable. I didn't particularly enjoy the Wild Samoans stuff from last month.
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Review: The first RAW, and other stuff. Yeah, boy.

First, we have RAW. I was watching the Laker game, so I tuned in at 9:48. I flipped over and saw HBK giving Trevor Murdoch SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and I know there was some Diva crap before that. There was some stuff with Orton and Hardy too, and they have an Intercontinental Title match later. Now, we begin. Again, this is an exact copy of my great notes.   The colors are to let you know that I'm talking about a different program. ___________________   When I tuned in, the first thing on was HHH vs. Snitsky. Boy oh boy.   - Snitsky is one ugly motherfucker. Not only that, but he makes these strange sounds while on offense. I don't like this guy, but I think he's funny. Why exactly is he in the WWE, again?   - Back from the commercial break, and that was probably a rough two minutes for the live crowd. I don't really want to think about it. JR calls Snitsky "Bowling Shoe Ugly." Well, I have to agree. At least there haven't been any restholds.   - Nevermind. There's a bearhug! On a PEDIGREE attempt, Snitsky backdropped HHH over the top rope. Then, he tries to hit HHH with the steel steps. He's unable to, though, as HHH gets disqualified by hitting Snitsky with a steel chair, at 10:06. HHH grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, hits Snitsky in the gut with it, and PEDIGREES him. Whoop-dee-doo. 1/2*...why was this 10 minutes, again. Anyway, HHH destroys the small screen below the actual TitanTron, and Vince allows him to go back into the Rumble, IF he wins his match next week. ___________________   JBL cut a promo on Chris Jericho next, in which he talked about Jericho's kids needing to know that his father's a coward. Then there's lots of pyro, to end the whole thing. ___________________   Next up was a 5 Man Royal Rumble, with 30 second intervals between appearances. This was some Hornswoggle thing, so I expect stupidity. And Lord, did I get it. The crowd can't even see the fuckin' thing, for one, second, nobody wants to watch a midget Royal Rumble. There was a mini-Kennedy, mini-Mankind, mini-Batista and mini-Kane. Lastly, Khali came out, but was beaten up by Finlay. -***** for that whole thing, I never want to discuss it again. Went about 7:50. Afterward, Finlay has a discussion with Vince, in which he says he doesn't want their deal to be broken. Uh... ___________________ How are they going to squeeze the main event and this Flair match into such a short time? Well, it's Ric Flair vs. William Regal.   - Both wrestlers come to the ring and we go to a commercial?   - Well, Flair cheats to win on a roll-up, while holding Regal's tights. Only 2:07 of the match was shown. This Flair stuff is being bungled beyond belief. Moreover, he's looking so worn down that I don't even think he'll be able to make it to WrestleMania. Just my opinion. Match was unrateable. ___________________   Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy in a match for the Intercontinental Title, yeah, yeah, yeah.   - Orton kicks Hardy in the nuts after 8 seconds, ending the match via disqualification. No rating, again. My original thought was, why give this match away on free TV? Well, they didn't, thankfully.   - Both men brawl to the stage, where Orton goes to punt Hardy in the head. Hardy gets up and backdrops him onto some sort of platform, a bit below the stage. I can't really do this angle justice, so bear with me. Hardy climbs up a support beam beside the stage, stops and...CLIMBS UP MORE. He's way up there. Then, he gives ORTON A FUCKING SWANTON BOMB, from about 15 feet up. Holy shit. This got over huge. HUGE, I tell you. JR and the King (no, not me) immediately stopped their commentary, as paramedics stretchered both men off to end the show. Hardy's gotta get the strap at the Rumble. GOTTA. He's their most over performer right now. What a good way to end a shitty show. Hardy's being put over so strong that this can't possibly be fucked up. He's been made into a star.   The show as a whole was terrible, but the ending was great. Meet in the middle and we'll call it decent. ___________________   I didn't have time to watch the show from MSG that was posted on 24/7. Sorry. I got a bit through it and fell asleep. Kerry Von Erich looked too young, even for him. ___________________   Next up, THE FIRST EVER MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Of all the updated stuff, I was waiting for this the most.   Sean Mooney starts things off, and you know, Bobby Heenan's not allowed in the building tonight. Rob Bartlett's on commentary instead. And the 1993 intro to the show is just as kickass as I remember it. ___________________   WELCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Commentary team is what you'd expect, Vince, Savage, and Bartlett.   Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji is our first match. Hey, the High Energy version of Koko.   - WHAT THE FUCK. I didn't realize that High Energy used what would stick around and become Owen Hart's music. Sorry, that threw me for a loop. I love Koko's ring attire.   - So, to sum things up, Yoko doesn't hit the canvas all match, and finishes things up with the BANZAI DROP at 3:46. *. Bartlett couldn't stop talking about Yoko's ass. Well, things like that are going to become commonplace throughout the show.   The promo for Royal Rumble 1993 is cool. Then we flash to Jim Ross talking about the importance of RAW to the business as a whole. Well, I agree there. ___________________   Bobby Heenan then cuts a pre-taped promo in which he talks about "Narcissus." It's a good thing they changed that to "Narcissist." The original was not the best.   That serves as our lead-in to The Executioners vs. the Steiner Brothers.   - The Executioners aren't important, so you missed nothing. The Steiners have this entrance music that I can't describe. Meaning that I don't know whether or not it's good. BTW, Doink the Clown is in the crowd. Good.   - Even then, Scott was really roided up. One of the Executioners blow an Irish whip, so they'll be punished for it. The Steiners fuck 'em up, as ECW fans would chant in the same building a few years later (though totally unrelated to the match at hand), and the bout ends via pinfall after Rick bulldogs one of the EX'S as they were seated on Scott's shoulders. I love that finisher, even if it probably injured a lot of guys. Thoroughly enjoyable contest, **. ___________________   Heenan's dressed as a woman, but he's not allowed in the building, as Mooney finds him out. Well, darn.   Edge talks...basically, whenever I say someone talks, it's about the importance of RAW. ___________________   Now we have an interview with Razor Ramon. I covered his accent in the PTW writeup from a few weeks before this, I think. Well, he's ready for the Rumble, MANG. Numero uno, mang, the #1 contender. He wanted this to be personal, so he attacked Owen on WWF Mania last week. After the interview's over, he tosses his toothpick at Vince. Yes!   Back at the announce table, the guys talk about Headlock on Hunger. And Tatanka has something to say about that. SPIRITS AND NONSENSE!!! ___________________   The next matchup is Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels, for Shawn's Intercontinental Championship.   - I don't know what to say about Max Moon. He does some cool stuff, like a running seated senton off the apron to Shawn as Shawn was standing up at ringside, much later in the match.   - During the "commercial break," HBK talked about RAW. Yeah, they placed that in there.   - Doink comes to ringside, as Bartlett is doing this AWFUL Mike Tyson impersonation. What did we do to deserve that? I was surprised to see that this wasn't a squash. Shawn wins the bout, by gaining the pinfall after the SIDE SUPLEX. It's just a back suplex, but since Gorilla Monsoon took extra care to make sure it was called the Side Suplex, hell, I'm calling it the Side Suplex. **. 7:52 of the bout was shown, who knows how long the commercial was. I know I can steal use the time from thehistoryofwwe.com, but I don't want to. ___________________   HHH talks, and then...   We cut to a RUMBLE REPORT, with Gene Okerlund. Shawn Michaels will face Marty Jannetty, with Sensational Sherri at ringside. Shawn says that Sherri will most certainly be with him. Marty says he'll get everything he wants, including the Intercontinental Title, and that Shawn doesn't really know what Sherri's going to do. Now Okerlund starts listing a few (a lot, really) of the Royal Rumble participants, but I'll just list the guys who cut promos. Mr. Perfect said that he has a perfect opportunity to win the Rumble. Well, he didn't say that, I did, cause that's what he should've said. Mr. Fuji babbles on about how Yokozuna's going to win the Rumble, and lastly, Jim Duggan talks about how he'll win the Rumble. Tough guy this, tough guy that, USA, USA, HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN HOOOOOOO, alright. You know, the Rumble winner goes to WrestleMania this year. Also, Bret Hart faces Razor Ramon. But that's seemingly an afterthought, isn't it. ___________________   Heenan tries to sneak in AGAIN, this time as a Rabbi. I was so pumped up after that RUMBLE REPORT that I wrote Rabbi as "Rumble." I'd show you, but there are so many things on this piece of paper that I don't want you to see. Mooney catches Heenan again, so Heenan gets all upset.   Mick Foley talks about RAW, now. From what I've been told, Reverend Slick converted Kamala last week on WWF Mania. WHAT? I'm glad I haven't seen some of this stuff. ___________________   Our main event is DAMIEN DEMENTO vs. The Undertaker, with Paul Bearer as Taker's manager. I tuned out Bartlett after the Tyson stuff, so he could've been bad this whole time. I don't know.   - Vince thanks DON IMUS for Rob Bartlett being there. That explains a lot about Bartlett's awfulness, doesn't it.   - Well, it's a squash. Taker finishes it off with the TOMBSTONE at 2:25. *. ___________________   Vince talks about RAW, and how the live audience helped make the show what it is today. Definitely.   Doink comes to ringside, and talks about how he's not bothered by Crush. Crush comes out, and talks some trash, brah. Well, Doink squirts him with a water pistol (yes, I call it that), so Crush chases him. How is Doink supposed to be the heel in all this? The crowd at the Manhattan Center loves the gimmick. Crush chases Doink, but eventually, he leaves the poor guy alone, so we can listen to Crush's great entrance music. ___________________   I know I said that I pride myself on not being silly, but I really took it to another level with this show. I couldn't help it, because, after all, WWF 1993 IS silly. Don't worry, I won't do that again for a while, likely until another RAW or a WWF Superstars is posted from 1993. By my standards, that was a good show. I was entertained throughout, and by my "would I have liked it then, but with a smarkish mindset" standards, undoubtedly I would have. If you can, watch it. If you can't watch it, find it. Unless you've seen it already, or have it on video. ___________________   Last, I watched WWECW, last night. ___________________   The "Cutting Edge" opened the show. Yeah, that's some interview segment with Edge as the host. Edge talks about the Rumble, and when mentioning Rey Mysterio, you immediately notice that there's a lot of kids in the crowd. Like, a whole lot. This'll have something to do with what I say later. Anyhow, he shows us what happened last week on Smackdown, when he and the Edgeheads beat up Rey Mysterio after Rey's match with Chavo Guerrero. So, this somehow gets to the point where CM Punk is the guest. Edge says he's been watching Punk, and that he reminds Edge of himself. Punk says he respects his opponents, but he can beat Chavo if he faces him again. And he can beat Edge too. Chavo then comes out, and challenges Punk. Punk accepts, but is pushed by Chavo into Edge. Then Punk gets his ass beat, and his shoulder gets rammed into the post by both guys, who then leave with the damage done. I didn't know what to think about that, on one hand, you gave the guy no rub from a confrontation with Edge, secondly, you took all the heat away from Chavo, who's in the middle of this program. Unless we're getting to Edge/Punk in the near future, I don't like this at all.   After the commercial break, Edge leaves. That means he'll be there later. ___________________   The next match is a tag team match, with the Highlanders facing John Morrison and the Miz. I don't know if this was a WWE Tag Team Title match or not.   - Miz and Morrison need to start entering together. It's tiresome to watch tag team partners have two separate entrances. Yeah, "they have big egos." So what. Make them argue over how they enter or something.   - I don't understand why the Highlanders are here, and why they're playing pseudo-babyfaces. Pseudo because nobody is cheering them, see.   - Of the two Highlanders, I like Robbie better. The match finishes after the Reality Check (kneelift, neckbreaker) at 2:57. *1/2. That finisher sucks, but I expected it, given that the Miz is the guy who does it. ___________________   Here's another Kofi Kingston vignette. It won't be hard for him to get over, because the general public (AFAIK) likes the whole Jamaican thing. I expect great things from him, given what I've read about his in-ring work. He debuts next week, on ECW. Good. Perfect show to debut him on. ___________________   Kelly Kelly comes out, and talks about HD. Then she disrobes. Anyone watching the show saw what she was wearing, and if you didn't, don't worry, it was nothing much. Literally. I kinda have a problem with this, given the number of kids in the crowd. If you want the product to be marketed toward kids, which given characters like Hornswoggle is what they want, do that, and get rid of this. You want to show this stuff, stop with the kid oriented stuff. Make up your mind. ___________________   The white guy from the past few weeks is with Tazz again. He'll be facing Kane this time. Chokeslam finishes after 1 minute. 1/2*. I don't know about the rest of us, but I'm starting to get bored by this.   The ECW GM, that Estrada guy, is with CM Punk. The match will go on. Well, duh. ___________________   The injury report from Hardy's dive last night is that Hardy left the hospital before being evaluated, and Orton had to stay overnight. They're putting over Hardy so strong in this whole thing that I have a hard time believing he won't win at MSG. It's unfortunate that WrestleMania is coming up, seeing as HHH is probably going to win the Rumble. The trigger was probably pulled too quickly on this feud, but it should go until No Way Out at the least. ___________________   So, it's Shelton Benjamin vs. Nunzio.   - Hey, someone from actual ECW. Have I mentioned that Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is great?   - Shelton's inverted bulldog finishes at 3:05. Move needs a name, and I think Tazz gave it one, inadvertently so. "The Gold Standard." After the match, Shelton grabs a mic, then says, THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOWWWWWW, and gives him another inverted bulldog. I know a few people hate that catchphrase, but I love it. His voice cracked toward the end, making it that much better. *1/2. ___________________   Now we have our main event, Chavo's 3rd Chance, featuring him taking on CM Punk. Taken directly from my notes, to let you know what I was thinking about the booking here.   - Punk's favoring his shoulder, of course. I don't like this, because I suppose it hurts Chavo's....status. While he's not been portrayed as strong, there needs to be incentive to care about the eventual title match, so winning semi-clean is the only acceptable course of action.   - There's Edge, going on commentary. Told ya so. A good thing is, with Edge there, people aren't going to lose focus on the match, or leave, like last time. We're going to have another long overrun, which is ok. I don't like knowing exactly when the show will end.   - When Chavo punches, it looks SO weak. Why that is, who knows. It's like he's too cautious. Each of these matches have been distinctly different, which is good. This one is better than the other two, I believe. Punk gets tossed outside, and clobbered in the head by Edge's World Heavyweight Title. So, Chavo wins by countout, at 11:18. **3/4. That was pretty much the worst ending possible. Let's look at the possible options.   Draw. Yeah, right. Punk wins. That's fine. Punk loses by DQ, after Edge hits Chavo with his title. That's ok. Chavo gets the pinfall, clean. Not happening. Chavo gets the pinfall, after Edge interference, and his own finisher. Best possible option. Chavo wins via an arm-oriented submission. This is ok, too. Chavo wins by countout, while having no direct impact on the end of the match at all. Dogshit.   Again, why should I care about the title match? It doesn't do anything for either participant, and given the booking, I doubt this match will happen at the Rumble. If it does, it won't be of any length. Tazz said that Chavo would probably want to have his title shot next week, given his mindset. Punk isn't going to face Edge anytime soon, so...I don't get it. If he did face Edge, he'd only lose. That shouldn't even be an option, but it's the only way this thing will go. He's not going to get a rub from it either, as it could only last until No Way Out. It'll never go to WrestleMania. ___________________   Anyway, that was a shitty ending to a pretty good match. Decent show. In the next installment, I'll have a whole bunch of stuff to read, including my thoughts on Smackdown. But first, the HHH/HBK RAW has to go up, which it will, tomorrow. I'm not typing up anything about the first ECW on TNN show, because it was basically a clip show. The segments on that will be reviewed on it's own merit when posted on it's original program, whether it be Hardcore Heaven '99 in the case of Lynn/RVD, or wherever that Taz/Rhyno match came from.
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Review: Monday Nitro and Monday Night RAW from 7/7/1997.

I'm probably going to watch Nitro first from here on out, so that's how I'm going to review them too. This one is from Memphis, Tennessee. ___________________   We flashback to last week, and then, Mean Gene invites Curt Hennig to the aisleway for an interview. He's not going to say what he'll be doing at Bash at the Beach, but he will say that he'll be involved with the card in some fashion. Here's Ric Flair, who wants Hennig to join the Four Horsemen. Needless to say, Hennig won't...yet. ___________________ Public Enemy vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri is the opener...   - It's not bad, not bad at all. Vincent comes to the ring towards the end, and Sherri tells Booker to chase Vincent away, so he does. Sherri pushes Rocco Rock into Stevie Ray on accident, so Johnny Grunge pins Stevie, getting the win at 4:56. Uh-oh. Mean Gene comes into the ring, slips up and calls Vincent "Virgil," then Harlem Heat tell Sherri to leave...for good. You can't fire me because I quit and all that...yeah. Match was **. ___________________   Hey, a Bash at the Beach ad? I mentioned something about not having that...well, Joe Gomez is going to take on Konnan.   - Raven's in the crowd, again. Good. This match though, not so good. Bland, rather. Apparently Konnan "broke" Rey Mysterio's leg last week. Poor kid. Tequila Sunrise gets Konnan the submission victory at 3:11. *. ___________________   Next up, Juventud Guerrera and Hector Garza are taking on Villano IV and Villano V.   - Hell of a match, compared to what's usually on Nitro. It's one of those things you need to go out of your way to see. Most of the match is double teams, with no regard for the referee, thank goodness. Anyway, Juvi finishes Villano V with a 450 splash at 6:16. ***1/4. ___________________   The NWO music hits...here comes Scott Hall, Randy Savage, and Elizabeth. You know where they're headed? The commentary table. I love when they go over there. Everyone leaves, except for Larry Zbyszko. He ain't going anywhere. Hall calls DDP a mid-card jabroni, then Savage rambles about some nonsense. Anyway, they go to leave, but Hall and Zbyszko get into an argument. They nearly come to blows, but things cool down a bit. ___________________   We flashback to World War III 1996, where the Giant eliminated Lex Luger in a move that really didn't look like he was trying to eliminate Luger at all. Anyhow, this is a Giant and Lex Luger interview...when I say interview, I mean a hackjob. ___________________   Vicious and Delicious w/Vincent are taking on Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, now.   - Vicious and Delicious are Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell. Eddie's ring attire problem is fixed, so now, lastly, his music. That music he has needs to be ditched. Anyway, a limo pulls up and leaves. Wow.   - Eddie won't tag Chavo, so he just leaves him. I laughed. Eddie watches as Chavo gets his ass beat, culminating in a BUFF BLOCKBUSTER for the three count at 8:02. **. Fun shall be had later on between the Guerrero's. ___________________   Hour #2, and Zbyszko won't leave until this match is over. The match I'm talking about is Randy Savage w/Scott Hall and Elizabeth vs. LA PARKA.   - WTF DREAM MATCH 1997!111!1!111!   - Ok, Hall walks over toward the announce table, taunting Zbyszko, but he doesn't really want to do anything, does he? He meaning Hall. Anyway, while Hall's over there, LA PARKA gives Savage a DIAMOND CUTTER. He pulls the mask off...and it's DDP! HA. He covers Savage, getting the three count at 3:12, then he runs into the crowd to celebrate. *1/4, but a hell of a surprise there. ___________________   Psychosis and Silver King w/Sonny Onoo are facing Glacier and Ernest Miller.   - Eddie and Chavo are fighting in the back, see what I said? Mortis and Wrath run to the ring, so we've got a no-contest at 2:34. Everyone's fighting everyone! Seriously, no joke. ___________________   On the Road in Orlando...yawn.   Mean Gene is with Ric Flair, for a second time tonight. Flair calls out Roddy Piper, and whoa, oh wait, he's got another Piper mannequin. Geez. Piper ain't got the guts, but wait a second, he's standing right behind Flair. Piper chases Flair to the ring and tears off Flair's clothes, before putting Flair in a sleeperhold. That continues for a bit, until Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael come to the ring. Benoit gains control, and gives Piper a FLYING HEADBUTT, which ends the segment. But for one thing, a mysterious person ran in and cleaned house as they were going to commercial. It looked like Curt Hennig, but I don't really know. ___________________   Continuing our lack of matches, Mike Tenay has walked over to Raven, once again. Stevie Richards, King of Swing comes into the picture(!), and says that he's the only one who can get some answers out of Raven. He asks if Raven has signed a WCW contract, which causes Raven to slap Stevie, and leave. ___________________   Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan now make their way up, in what's clearly a Bash at the Beach hype segment. People throw a bunch of stuff at Hogan, and then, after a bit., Lex Luger and The Giant come to the ring. Bischoff tried to hit Luger, so he gets RACKED. Vincent and Buff Bagwell run down, and both of them get chokeslammed. Anyway, Hogan runs away, scared. That ends the show. ___________________ Great episode of Nitro this time. You got good tag wrestling, and well, that's good enough for me. Plus, we're getting to the point where there's a large portion of these shows that feature wrestlers the 'net as a whole is more interested in. That's good too. Best segment was definitely Juvi and Garza vs. Villano's IV and V, and the worst was probably Joe Gomez vs. Konnan. Looking forward to the next Nitro, as I have been all along. ___________________   RAW this week is from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. ___________________   Bret Hart comes to the ring at the top of the show, wearing an Oilers sweater. Asskisser. He has a shot at the WWF Title at SummerSlam, in New Jersey. He rips apart America, and says that if he doesn't win on August 3rd, he won't wrestle on American soil again. Period. He brings out Owen Hart and the British Bulldog, so they can listen to the Canadian National Anthem. Before that though, Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock at SummerSlam was announced. While listening to the anthem, STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD attacks all three men from behind with a steel chair. What a swell fellow. During the commercial which followed this attack, Bret said that none of his opponents will ever walk over Canada. ___________________   Taka Michinoku is taking on the Great Sasuke, in a rematch from last night's Canadian Stampede PPV.   - Brian Christopher comes down to the ring for commentary, and before the match, Sasuke cut a promo. Uh, why?   - Sasuke finishes Taka with a thunderfire powerbomb. Hells yeah. Oh, match was ***, and it ended at 5:46. Too short, but hey, that's television. ___________________   Crush w/The Disciples of Apocalypse is taking on Savio Vega w/Los Boricuas.   - Before the match, we watch a video of this whole gang situation, poop on all that. Chainz hits Vega, which starts a giant brawl at 2:19. 1/4*. Yeah, giant brawl. ___________________   Paul Bearer has an interview, yes, Kane told him so, Taker's a MURDERER. Now, we've got Faarooq and D'Lo Brown facing Owen Hart and the British Bulldog w/Jim Neidhart and Brian Pillman in the Final of the Tag Team Tournament. - Before the bout, Pillman grabbed a sign that says, "Nation of Masturbation." For real.   - Steve Austin still doesn't want a partner for next week, btw. See, the appeal of this match is minimal to most Americans (unless you like the Harts), seeing as it's heel vs. heel. Well, heel vs. heel here, but not heel vs. heel in Canada. Anyway, moving forward, all hell breaks loose on the outside, but Owen stays in the ring, causing his team to win by countout. So they'll face Steve Austin next week. Mankind runs down while wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt, and motions that he and Austin will be keeping those titles. Sure, Mick. *1/4. ___________________   Steve Austin comments on Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and guess what, those two will be facing each other, right now!   - Warzone...Quite the matchup here, correct? Anyway, the match is good by RAW standards, but not Stone Cold vs. HHH good. You'd expect that to be the case. Mankind takes a chairshot in place of Austin, which allows Austin to give HHH a STONE COLD STUNNER and pick up the pinfall victory at 6:17 (shown). **1/4. Austin grabs a microphone, and he wants Mankind to come into the ring, Of course he does, and Austin says that he just wants Mankind to shake his hand, and they can be a team. Well, Mankind hugs him. I'll be damned. Ha, Austin gives him a STUNNER. Austin says that they aren't a team, and that Mick shouldn't trust anybody. Austin leaves, but Mankind grabs the microphone. You see, he just wanted a friend, that's all. Now, drastic measures must be taken. Who knows what they shall be. ___________________   Sunny's our guest ring announcer (yo), for this match between Brian Christopher and Eric Shelley.   - I don't quite understand what they're trying to do with the Light Heavyweight Division at this point. I don't think they ever understood, to be fair. Top rope legdrop gives Christopher the pinfall after a kinda boring 3:52. *1/2. Lawler and Christopher give Shelley a spike piledriver, which is probably going to become routine. ___________________   Steve Austin comes to the ring for an interview...he still doesn't know who his tag team partner is going to be. Also, at SummerSlam, when he faces Owen Hart for the Intercontinental Title, he'll kiss Owen's ass if he can't kick it. We're already getting ridiculous with the Russo stuff here. I know there's going to be another (or two), (what I like to call) ultimatum match/es added, and generally, most suck. Unless the angle involves a dress or a haircut, in all likelihood, the one being pushed up against a wall is going to win. Russo's fingerprints are pretty much all over this, and I don't like it. I know all those matches feature members of the Hart Foundation, but I don't care. It sucks.   Tirade over. ___________________   The main event is Goldust vs. Bret Hart.   - I'm sure that something was cut from the original airing of this show, because there has been very little time between the beginning of the Warzone and now, or even the end of this match. Unless of course, they just cut some super long commercials out. Yeah.   - DOA comes down, uh, why? That doesn't make any damn sense. Here comes the Hart Foundation, then Ken Shamrock and the Legion of Doom. Now Austin's on the ramp, as Bret rolls Goldust up for three at 7:29. **. Big celebration and all, then the show ends.   So, what was the point of all that? ___________________   The show was definitely good, but not better than Nitro. There's just some, I don't know, WEIRD stuff going on during this show. Best segment was probably Austin pulling the whole DON'T TRUST ANYBODY thing on Mankind, and the worst was easily the GANG WARZ during the Savio Vega/Crush match. I feigned excitement at the start of GANG WARZ, but really, this sucks. ___________________   Beware of Dog review is next, probably won't finish it up by Friday, but I'll try. Next month on 24/7 is going to be awful (and have a Clash as the only big event at the beginning of the month), so I'll have a bit of time to rest my ailing fingers soon.
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Review: WCW Bash at the Beach 1994, from Orlando, Florida, 7/17/1994.

My hand is nearly ready to start typing these in full. Nearly, but who knows how long that'll be. Anyhow, nothing will be there to review in full like that until the 15th, at which point I'll probably bring back a full review with Royal Rumble 1988. Fitting in with the theme of the month "Big Bangs and Dazzling Debuts," it's Hulk Hogan's WCW debut. So... ___________________   Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan talk for a while, until we are given a rendition of the national anthem by some guy named Daron Norwood. Who? Next, we see a clip of Sting vs. Ric Flair from WCW Saturday Night. I've heard that match is a very good one, but it's just a clip here. Anyway, Sting was scheduled to challenge Lord Steven Regal for the TV Title tonight. But since he has a lacarated cornea or something from Sensous (their name for her, not mine) Sherri scratching him on the face, after coming through the crowd dressed as a man. After that, Hulk Hogan ran into the ring to save Sting, until Ric Flair got the edge on him after a chopblock. The attack continued until Mr. T and Jimmy Hart save Hogan from Flair. Ok, then. ___________________   The first match on the card is Johnny B. Badd vs. Lord Steven Regal w/Sir William for the WCW TV Title. Yes, Sir William is Bill Dundee. My brother thinks Badd looks really fabulous. Take that for what you will.   I don't like that there's confetti all over the ring during the match, from when Badd shot it out of the Badd Blaster during his entrance. The crowd was into this match, which was definitely a good thing. However, this one was strange. The match didn't get going well until at the end, at which point Badd began to take over the match. He hit Regal with a left hook, which knocked him to the floor, and then he hit Regal with a pescado. He tossed Regal in and came in with a sunset flip, but Regal reversed it (strangely) into a rollup for 3 at 10:40. After the match, Badd attacks Sir William, and then, WCW's crew clears the confetti out of the ring. Thank you. The ending looked really bad, but it was still something good to open the show. **1/2. ___________________   Next, Antonio Inoki's in the ring. Zuh? Well, Steven Regal comes into the ring, and runs down the fact that he's not being given an award, while Inoki is. After talking for a while, Inoki chases him around the inside of the ring, until Regal chickens out and goes backstage. Jesse Ventura then comes out for commentary, prior to... ___________________   This bout is The Guardian Angel vs. Vader w/Harley Race. Guardian Angel = Ray Traylor.   My brother points out to me that Traylor looks like a Russian with the beret he wears during his entrance. He's right. This was a fun one. And Vader gave Traylor the moonsault, which was great. Anyway, Race gave Vader this baton thing to hit Traylor with as the referee was down, but Traylor stole it. The referee then wakes up and sees Traylor with the baton, and he disqualifies Traylor, giving Vader the win by disqualification, at 7:58. He never even hit Vader with the thing, which soured me on an otherwise decent affair. *3/4. ___________________   Mike Tenay and Chris Cruise, who are operating the WCW Hotline, want to speak to Terry Funk, but Funk wants no part of that. Now, for a recap of the feud between Dustin Rhodes, Bunkhouse Buck and Funk. On some show, Terry hit Dustin with a branding iron. And Dustin does a great bladejob, which was a surprise, given WCW's restrictions on blood. Anyway, Dustin wants Arn Anderson to team with him against Buck and Funk, and Arn says sure.   Before that match, there's a video of some silly match before the show. I have no idea what this is. ___________________   And now, we have Bunkhouse Buck and Terry Funk w/Meng and Colonel Robert Parker vs. Dustin Rhodes and Arn Anderson in a Grudge Match.   I'm very interested to see what happens in this match. I don't know what happens here at all. Anyway, Dustin takes an asskicking. Funk acts like a nutcase for most of the match, which is great. Anyway, Dustin finally powers up and hits both opponents with multiple elbows, and when he hits Robert Parker, he decides to tag in Arn. Arn is fired up too...but he gives DUSTIN A DDT. What the FUCK. Ok, that one surprised me. Wow. Funk then covers Dustin at 11:15 for the 3 count. There is monstrous heel heat here. Now the heels go to work on the arm, stomping it and kneedropping it. What a great match finish, ***. There was a gigantic WTF factor there, the crowd didn't expect, and neither did I. Like I said, I try not to find things out about these shows, and not only that, I've never seen this show in my life. WCW post-Hogan arrival to Fall Brawl 1995 is a blank slate to me. Mean Gene Okerlund then encounters Arn in the aisleway, and asks him why he did that. He sidesteps the question, and says that they're going to celebrate. ___________________   Tony and Bobby begin to talk to Hank Aaron, but thankfully, it's time for Part 2, as this conversation is edited out. ___________________   A Jimmy Hart thing (not part of the Bash show) opens up Part 2, and then it's Ric Flair and Sensous Sherri with Mean Gene. I've gotta ask, couldn't they think of a better first name for Sherri? That one sucks. Flair loves the match being live, and worldwide. This isn't on Worldwide, what the hell's he talking about? Sherri says that Flair's the man, and now, we have... ___________________   Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin, for the US Title. This match sounds great, and it should be. Steamboat's entrance with the dubbed music sounds like something out of Pirates of the Carribean. Just sayin'.   I love watching Steamboat chop the shit out of his opponent. Austin has the words, "Dragon Slayer" on his trunks. Thought that was worth a mention. Ventura gushes over Steamboat throughout the match, which is no surprise. He always gives Ricky credit. Unfortunately, this match is a disappointment. I expected far more. There's too much "going through the motions" here, and Tony never fails to disappoint with his "biggest night in the history of our sport" crap. I think that's the first time he's done so thus far. The match gets good at the end, but by that point it was a bit beyond being saved. Steamboat gives Austin a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER after multiple reversals, and goes to the top rope. Before this, Austin tried to toss Steamboat over the top rope twice. You know, because of that retarded DQ rule. Austin then pushes the referee, and the referee goes to make a disqualification. Steamboat then talks to the referee, and pleads for the match to continue and not be ended via disqualification. And the referee listens. Austin then spears Steamboat and beats him up. He throws him into the ropes and misses a clothesline, so Steamboat counters with a crossbody. Austin reverses the crossbody and puts his feet on the ropes, to get the pinfall at 20:06. I expected much, much more from this. A disappointing ***1/4. Still good, but nowhere near what one would expect from these two. ___________________   Next is a WCW Hotline promo, before Bobby Heenan (back on commentary in place of Ventura) and Tony make their predictions of who will win the tag team match that's up next. I didn't pay attention to what they said. Following that, Mean Gene is with the newly formed Stud's Stable. That's what Arn joined, see. Arn talks about the Sid thing without mentioning him by name, and says that this is the real Arn Anderson. ___________________   Ok, the next match is Pretty Wonderful vs. Cactus Jack and Kevin Sullivan w/Dave Sullivan for the WCW World Tag Team Championship. Pretty Wonderful was the team of Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma.   This sounds decent on paper. On paper. In actuality, this is a pile of shit. So much so, that the crowd starts doing the wave during the match. That's gotta be disheartening to the wrestlers involved. This is so boring, there's at been at least 6 minutes of restholds. Anyway, Cactus gets the cold tag, and gives Orndorff a double-arm DDT. Dave Sullivan then gets on the ring apron for some inexplicable reason, and Roma trips Cactus. Orndorff then pins Cactus while Roma holds Cactus' feet down, giving Pretty Wonderful the win and tag titles at 20:11. This was terrible. DUD. Everyone should be ashamed of the shitty effort they put in. ___________________   It's time for the main event, the biggest match in the history of our sport! First Nick Bockwinkel comes to the ring, and then, Shaquille O'Neal. That gets a rise out of the crowd, this being Orlando and all. ___________________   The match everyone's talking about is Hulk Hogan w/Mr. T and Jimmy Hart vs. Ric Flair w/Sensous Sherri for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Well, Hogan's music is shit. Not that I forgot about it, but it's terrible.   Ok, since this match has so much overbooking, I'll give that the rundown. Multiple times Ric Flair pulls Sherri in between he and Hogan when outside of the ring. That's no surprise. Hogan's technical wrestling is solid in this match, and that was a surprise. Ok, a bit later, Sherri grabs Hulk's leg while Hulk is running the ropes. It causes Hulk to turn around, and Flair chops him out of the ring. Sherri then grabs a chair, but Jimmy Hart steals it away from her. Flair takes a back suplex outside of the ring during the match, which was great. Hogan does a faux Hulk-Up, and gives Flair a big boot, which gets 2 as a result of Sherri pulling the official out of the ring. Sherri then hits Jimmy Hart, and gives Hogan a big splash off the top rope. There's a new referee, but Flair distracts him, while Sherri chokes Hogan with her panty hose. Flair then puts Hogan in the figure-four, and Sherri tries another splash on Hogan from the top. She misses, so Hogan knocks her out of the ring, while clotheslining Flair. He gives Flair a figure-four, as Mr. T carries Sherri to the back. But before T gets there, she tosses Flair a foreign object to hit Hogan with. Flair punches Hogan and only gets two, so it's HULK-UP TIME LITTLE DUDE. ONE TWO THREE, BOOT, DROP THE FUCKING LEG for 3 at 21:50. Ok, at first, I was going to call this **3/4. However, there's a gigantic amount of overbooking. I'm not going to deduct anything, for third reasons. First, the segments in between the overbooking are outstanding. The wrestling is crisp, and psychology is sound. Secondly, I feel like I already deducted stars for rating it that low in the first place. Third, should I deduct stars, I have no idea how low I should go. There was just SO MUCH. My rating is still **3/4, with an aforementioned warning that the overbooking is such that it can make the match un-enjoyable. However, I still enjoyed it.   After the match, Shaq hands Hogan the title, and Hogan poses. I was hoping this was the end of the show, but it's not. Hogan gives an interview in the back, and runs into Brutus Beefcake and Jim Duggan along the way back there. Talk about who I would not want in WCW, those two are atop the list. Once he gets back there to talk to Gene Okerlund, he goes into formula Hogan mode. He puts over Johnny B. Badd, Duggan, Beefcake and Brian Pillman(?) as loyal Hulkamaniacs, and rambles for a while, until the interview ends and we go back to Bobby and Tony. Show's over, after they say a few things. ___________________   Rating: Decent. Largely disappointing, IMO. I thought this was going to be a great show, I really did. I nearly forgot to mention that NO babyfaces won on the entire card until the main event. I think that's shitty of WCW. Had I paid for the show, I would've been a little peeved. However, unlike StarrCade '92, I definitely would have bought this in the first place. Not a question about it. That said, there are still things about this show that are well worth checking out, namely Hogan/Flair, and Arn Anderson's turn.   Best Segment: Arn Anderson's turn on Dustin Rhodes. No contest.   Worst Segment: Kevin Sullivan and Cactus Jack vs. Pretty Wonderful. Brutal stuff.   Loudest Sound: Johnny B. Badd, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and all participants in the grudge match. After the Arn heel turn, the crowd really turned down the volume. That wasn't a good thing.   No Sound: Ricky Steamboat, Cactus Jack, Kevin Sullivan, and Steve Austin. Although Pretty Wonderful are Pretty Awful, they got massive heel heat prior to and after their title win. Austin was the only heel to get little reaction. ___________________   The Lakers play tonight, so when I post that "Random Thoughts" thing in a few days, there won't be anything about Smackdown except for what I thought of the booking, if anything at all. I won't be watching much of Smackdown unless there's a blowout in the Laker game. Anyhow, that thing will probably be up Monday afternoon.
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