The Millionaire's Club arrives in a bus...while the New Blood watches them on TV. That's how we begin our show!

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Our first matchup is The Artist w/Paisley vs. Chris Candido w/Sunny for the Cruiserweight Championship. Her WCW name isn't Sunny, but I call her that anyway.

 

Blow-by-Blow: Mark Madden calls the two managers "hot tramps." I lol'd. Artist starts the match with a shoulderblock, but Candido responds with a forward roll for 2. An Artist german suplex gets 2, so Artist takes Candido to the corner for a 10 punch. Candido breaks free, but he misses a charge to the corner and gets backdropped to the floor. Artist hits Candido on a Candido plancha attempt, but Candido comes right back and rams him into the entrance ramp which is connected to the ring, in old-school WCW fashion. Candido tries a piledriver on the entrance ramp, but Artist gives him a backdrop for a two count. In with a hurricanrana, but Candido takes him down sloppily for a two count. Artist gets tossed out of the ring, but he suplexes Candido from the inside to the outside, bringing Chris with him. Candido lowblows Artist on the inside, but The Artist gives him a powerbomb, before going up to the second rope. Candido catches him on the way down and places him on top, but he can't give him a frankensteiner. An Artist flying schoolboy gets a two count, as he gives Candido a backdrop to follow. Candido pokes Artist in the eye, before slamming him and heading up top. Artist stops any planned move, and gives him a SAMOAN DROP OFF THE 2ND ROPE. Sunny distracts so that we don't have a pinfall, so Paisley runs over and pulls Sunny down to the ground. Sunny gets up though and hits the Artist with a chair, for the three count. Uh, why did Artist kick out? The match continues, with a Candido piledriver. A flying headbutt off the top gets the three count at 7:57. Weird. The women fight, and Sunny's dress comes off. Yay!

 

Match Analysis: Sorta better than I expected, because as has been stated, I don't like Iaukea. He probably wasn't supposed to kick out at the end, but the match was still quite good. Quite! Well, a good eight minute match. Who really can complain, we're talking about WCW 2000 here. **.

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After a video for Terry Funk, we've got a hardcore handicap match, between Norman Smiley and his mystery partner, who are facing Terry Funk, for the Hardcore Title. Figured this was going to be Terry Time.

 

Blow-by-Blow: Norman attacks Funk as his mystery partner is hiding in the bathroom (wearing Kansas City Royals catcher's equipment), and we're underway. Norman hits Funk a whole bunch of times with a trash can, getting a two count. Funk rams Norman into Mean Gene's interview set (oh yeah, they're backstage. Thought that was a duh.), before hitting Norman's mystery partner with a chair. The partner has not yet been revealed, because they're wearing a mask in addition to a catcher's mask. Norman climbs up along with Funk onto this pile of artificial turf, but Funk kicks him off, putting Norman through a table. Funk smashes Norman into an equipment cart, then hits him with a road block sign. Ha, Road Block! Funk hits the partner, and we move towards the arena. Funk hits Norman with a laptop, and now, we see who the mystery partner is...it's RALPHUS! YES! Oh wait, his BUTT is hanging out. NO! Oh no. Everyone's laughing, as Norman hits Funk with a ladder. Norman then hits Funk with a chair, for a two count. Norman tosses the ladder at Funk, and gives him the BIG WIGGLE! Ralphus does the same as his ass is hanging out, but Funk hits the both of them with a chair. Funk wins with a rollup on Norman, at 10:03.

 

Match Analysis: Certainly bad, but highly entertaining. I mean, we're talkin' about Ralphus. RALPHUS! If you didn't get some sort of enjoyment out of this, I kinda feel for you. Anyway, I'll rate the match *1/2. It wasn't too bad.

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After David Arquette shows up, Mean Gene interviews Arquette, and Arquette says that he arrived by himself because he's not with the Millionaire's Club.

 

Moving on, we've got Curt Hennig facing Shawn Stasiak.

 

Blow-by-Blow: Stasiak comes out to a Mr. Perfect music ripoff. He's the perfect one, you see. Stasiak starts with an armdrag and a hiptoss, but Hennig gives him a hiptoss as well, before slamming him. That causes Stasiak to bail, and when he comes back in, he applies a headlock. Hennig reverses to a wristlock, do those last 9 words again, and Stasiak gives Hennig a crossbody for 2. Stasiak sunset flips in for one, but Hennig slaps him, to gain control. Hennig gives Stasiak a kneelift, as we see that Misfits in Action are sitting at ringside. Oh joy! Stasiak rams Hennig into the announce table, cause we're brawlin'. I'm surprised this match isn't over the rights to the Perfect name. After all, we're talking about Russo here. Stasiak goes up top, and clotheslines Hennig inside of the ring for a two count. He tosses Hennig outside onto the entrance ramp, but Hennig tries a slam, before bringing him in. No slam, and Stasiak pushes him in. Stasiak gives Hennig a sleeper, and when Hennig breaks out, Stasiak pulls him to the canvas by his hair. Up top, Stasiak misses a crossbody, and now Hennig takes over. Slaps, chops, backdrops, big right hands...but Stasiak slingshots Hennig into the ring post. A Perfect-Plex gives STASIAK the pinfall victory, at 7:55. Hah.

 

Match Analysis: This was just dumb, I'm sorry. I really don't like that Stasiak went over, but I saw it coming. You know, that whole Russo philosophy of "putting over young guys at any time possible, fuck the old guys and make them lose all the time." I hate Russo. Oh, I nearly forgot. Match rating. *1/4. While Hennig was used up at this point, you should be able to have a semi-decent match with him. Stasiak could not.

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After Vince Russo is told by Scott Steiner not to touch him, we move forward to General Rection vs. Scott Steiner w/His Freaks for the United States Championship.

 

Blow-by-Blow: Steiner jaws with the fans a bit, before heading into the ring and chomping away at Hugh E. Rection. Rection gives Steiner a clothesline, then the Freaks get on the apron to distract, allowing Steiner to take over. Steiner follows with a scoop slam attempt, but Rection reverses it into an inverted atomic drop and gives Steiner an inverted atomic drop and spinning heel kick for two. After a sidewalk slam, Rection goes up top, and comes down with an elbowdrop. Back up, and the Freaks crotch him. Ouchie. Steiner gives Rection a clothesline and elbow, before grabbing the referee like a nutcase. You know, he's teasing this roid rage thing. Kinda funny. A t-bone suplex and spinning belly-to-belly suplex get a two count, before telling the referee that he sucks. Steiner whips Rection into the buckle, but he misses a charge, which causes Rection to give Steiner two avalanches. Steiner responds with a clothesline and double-underhook powerbomb, before going for a...TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER? Weird. Anyway, Rection finds his way out of the hold, and responds with an inverted piledriver of his own! To the top, but he misses the moonsault, which is now called Raging Climax. Seriously now, I mean, come the fuck on. STEINER RECLINER, and Rection taps out at 9:20. R&B Security keeps MIA from running in the ring, but that doesn't stop BOOKER T. He's in, HARLEM SIDEKICK on Steiner, which causes Big Poppa Pump to leave.

Match Analysis: I liked the run-in at the end. As far as the match, it was just okay, and really, just a long squash. I hated everything about the M.I.A angle, but this match was okay. Could've been much, much worse, and to be truthful, I'm glad that the usual Russo garbage has been sorta kept to a minimum. **.

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Mean Gene is with Kanyon, who's taking on Mike Awesome, right now!

 

Blow-by-Blow: A Kanyon shoulderblock doesn't do a thing, but a clothesline sure does. Kanyon misses a charge to the corner, knocking him to the outside, so Awesome flies out with a TOPE. After getting rammed into the steps, Kanyon rams Awesome into the post, and somersaults off the ring apron onto Awesome. We go back in, and after Awesome drops Kanyon throat-first on the top rope, Awesome gives him a clothesline off the top for a 2 count. Awesome hits Kanyon with a chair on the outside, a whole bunch. After ramming Kanyon into the table, he hits him with a water bottle and a chair. After they fight in the crowd, Awesome chokes Kanyon with a television cable, and sends him in the ring for a slingshot splash, which gets a two count. Kanyon tries a sunset flip in an attempt for some sort of offense, but Awesome gives him a clothesline, before tossing him to the outside. Chairshot, back in, and Kanyon crotches him on top. A Kanyon neckbreaker off the top gets two, and a regular neckbreaker does the same. Kanyon comes off the top with a crossbody, but Awesome rolls through for two. Kanyon flapjacks Awesome from fireman's carry position, but that only gets two as well. Awesome responds with a spinebuster, and then, he powerbombs Kanyon ON HIS HEAD. YO. Awesome peels the padding off the floor at ringside, and looks to powerbomb Kanyon out of the ring. Instead, he gives Kanyon a release german suplex. Awesome goes to the other side of the ring, peels off more padding, and looks to powerbomb Kanyon OFF THE RAMP. The Wolfpac music hits...it's BIG KEV! Nash beats on Awesome, which brings Kidman and a whole bunch of dudes out, leading to a no contest at 11:39. The Millionaire's Club follows, and we've got a big brawl, which they get the best of.

 

Match Analysis: I liked the Millionaire's Club. So, I'm glad they ran out there and kicked some ass. I think my reasons for liking the Millionaire's Club are obvious, being that I like old, washed up wrestlers. Anyway, the match was pretty fantastic, for WCW. Easy ***. You know, that Mike Awesome guy should've been a World Champion. What a great performer he was.

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After Russo argues with Elizabeth, we have The Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell.

 

Blow-by-Blow: Obviously the Package is Lex Luger. I didn't even need to mention that. Lex looks funny with short hair, I should add. We start with a ton of posing, then a few punches from Buff. Buff chokes away, and gives Luger a back elbow for two. After a Luger suplex, he gives Buff two inverted atomic drops, and a big right hand to put him down to the canvas. Luger tries a ten punch, but instead, he gives Buff a clothesline. He rams Buff into the guardrail, before bringing him back in, only to be dropped on the top rope. A Buff DDT gets two, and we go to the chinlock. Both men collide, and Buff gets up first, to give Luger a bodyslam and splash for two. Buff gets his nuts crunched when trying to jump on Luger's back, and we go to a clip in the back, where Elizabeth hits Russo in the back with his bat. Oh Lord. Here she is at ringside, as Luger's a house of fire. Clotheslines and a powerslam, but Buff ends it with a clothesline. Liz tries to hit Buff with the bat, but Buff hits Luger with it. After a Buff neckbreaker, he goes to the second rope, where Liz hits him with the bat. TORTURE RACK, and it's over at 9:31. Chuck Palumbo attacks Luger after the match, and after a Buff reverse DDT, Chuck puts him in the RACK. Then, Buff takes Liz away from Luger. Ha, what the fuck. It just gets worse later, believe me.

Match Analysis: This was a bad idea. Match was *1/4. Sorry, but you can't just have NU BLOOD run in and attack an established star. That shit was not going to work in WCW's, um, atmosphere.

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After Mean Gene interviews the FRANCHISE, we get that sorry sap's match, cause he's facing THE MAN, THE LEGEND, THE NATURE BOY, RIC FLAIR!

 

Blow-by-Blow: What's with guys not wearing their ring gear? I don't understand that shit at all, and I never will. Unless you get attacked in the back, impromptu, or something. Flair cuts a promo in the ring, and says he'll kick Shane's ECW ASS. I'll believe it when I see it. Shane gives Flair a shoulderblock, and a backdrop, before going for a ten punch at the corner. Douglas misses a charge, but he slams Flair down when Flair goes up top for a leap of faith. FIGURE-FOUR from Douglas, but Flair makes the rope. After Douglas kicks Flair in the crotch, he tries another figure-four, but Flair responds with a lowblow of his own. Flair whips Douglas into the guardrail, and rams him into the post. Good. Back in, and after a Douglas suplex, Douglas grabs a chain from his boot, and nails Flair in the head with it. Three rolling suplexes follow, but the cover only gets two. Why not cover after the chainshot? That's just dumb. After trading blows and Flair getting the best of it, Flair begins to work on the leg. You know what for. He gives Douglas a nut-kick, chopblock and kneebreaker, before applying the figure-four. Buff Bagwell is running distraction as some moron in a Sting mask is hitting Ric Flair with the bat...and Douglas gets the pinfall win at 8:45. That moron being Vince Russo. Shane hits Flair in the nuts with his chain, and when Russo and Douglas leave, Flair calls Russo out. Luger makes Russo get back in the ring, but wait a second, Russo comes down the ramp. Oh, I know what's going on. I'm not that big of a fuckin' idiot, I knew all along. I just forgot who was under the mask...it's DAVID FLAIR. Gimme a fucking break. He's beating on his father as the five minutes begin, and does so until Kevin Nash runs out and beats up the real Russo. Daffney jumps on his back, and that helps things to cool down soon after.

 

Match Analysis: You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me with this crap. I half-thought that Nash was going to run out and help with the attack on Flair. You have to expect that kind of dumb shit when you're dealing with the genius that is Vince Russo. Oh, and the match was shit. I thought about writing a long spiel about how Meltzer was a little bit out to lunch for rating this ***, but I decided not to. Instead, I'll talk about how much I hate this version of the Franchise. It's almost like he forgot how to wrestle when he left ECW. And now that he can't curse to his heart's content in WCW, he doesn't have any redeeming qualities. His in-ring work sucks, he has no heat, he can't talk worth a shit, and he (everyone else too, which bothers me in regards to Russo WCW) cheats all the fucking time. Just go the fuck away. Thank God he decided to become a manager at Target. I'd rather watch Tank Abbott wrestle than watch the 2000 version of Shane Douglas. I'll stick to the 1992 version, thank you very much. That guy was carryable, not a Dynamic Dude, and over. Who would've thought. I'm going to rate the match 1/2*. Such an abortion of a segment that I feel like giving the whole thing negative stars, but really, I can't. I already took off enough.

 

Whew, now that's over...

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Sting vs. Vampiro is on...

 

Blow-by-Blow: This angle is so bad, just, ugh. Sting hits Vampiro with the bat at the start as they fight on the ramp, and after a Sting suplex and inverted atomic drop, he sends Vampiro into the ring. Sting gives Vampiro a missile dropkick, which knocks him out for a Sting dive off the top turnbuckle. Sting gives Vampiro a DDT on the floor, before bringing him in, only to be given a lowblow. Vampiro comes off the top with a clothesline, before grabbing a LEAD PIPE and hitting Sting with it. After a kneedrop, he goes back to the pipe, and does a facebuster on the entrance ramp. After a Vampiro spin kick, he clotheslines Sting into the ring. Sting replies with a lowblow, and powerbombs him off the top rope. Lead pipe, STINGER SPLASH...and two SCORPION DEATHDROPS, is what picks up the pinfall victory at 6:50. After the match, Sting hits Vampiro with the lead pipe...guess this feud is over. HA, or not.

 

Match Analysis: *1/2. Not good, not bad. But there's really nothing about this to talk about.

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Mike Tenay is with DDP and David Arquette, going over their gameplan for later. After we see Nash looking for Russo, Tenay interviews Billy Kidman and Eric Bischoff.

 

Hulk Hogan w/Horace Hogan (during the entrance) is facing Billy Kidman w/Torrie Wilson, and Eric Bischoff is the special guest referee. And this is a hardcore match.

 

Blow-by-Blow: Hogan's wearing the F.U.N.B vest. Lolz. Hogan chases Kidman around the ring and tries a bodyslam when they get back in, but Kidman creadles him for a two count. When Kidman tries a sunset flip, Hogan picks him up, choke tosses him, and clotheslines him to the floor. Hogan brings Kidman in and press slams him onto a folding chair, but misses a charge at the corner. After a Kidman hurricanrana (which I was surprised to see Hogan take quite well), he follows it up with a dropkick. Back tot he outside, where Hogan tosses Kidman into the guardrail. A Kidman forearm puts Hogan down, but Hogan comes back with a clothesline, before taking off the weightlifting belt. Hits Kidman in the back a whole bunch, and after Bischoff takes it away, Kidman grabs it and goes to town on Hogan. Hogan hiptosses Kidman to the floor after a reversal sequence, but when he brings Kidman back in, Bischoff won't count the fall. Bischoff also won't count the fall after a Hogan back suplex, so Hogan misses a few elbowdrops. Now Kidman should get control. BUT, after a few Kidman punches, guess who Hulks up? Big boot, but Bischoff blocks the legdrop. So Hogan punches him. After Hogan drops the leg, Bischoff grabs a chair, which Hogan takes. Hogan hits both Bischoff and Kidman with the chair, and goes out to get a table. Kidman hits Hogan all over with a chair, but the cover only gets two. Hogan's bleeding, but he still boots the chair into Kidman's face. Hogan POWERBOMBS Bischoff through the table, before going to get another one. After it's set up, Kidman hits Hogan with a chair, before heading up top. He goes for a splash...but slams through the table on the way down. Horace goes over and makes Bischoff count the pinfall, which takes place at 13:36.

 

Match Analysis: Quite enjoyable! I liked how things weren't formula for a Hogan match, at all. Did I just throw Russo a bone? Yeah, I kinda did. Good job for all involved. I'll rate it **3/4.

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Vince Russo leaves, but first, he gives Elizabeth back to Luger. See what I'm talking about, that doesn't make any fuckin' sense whatsoever. He went through all that trouble to get her back, and just handed her to the person she was taken from. Man oh man.

 

After a video and interview with Jeff Jarrett, we have Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. David Arquette in a Triple Cage Match for the WCW Heavyweight Championship.

 

Blow-by-Blow: The top cage is full of guitars, the second cage from the top is filled with PLUNDAH, and in the first cage, you have to climb a ladder to get to the second one. The belt hangs from the ceiling. Was that a good explanation? Arquette and DDP have a plan that Arquette's supposed to hang around on the side. Jarrett chases Arquette around the ring to start, but DDP rams Jarrett into the cage. Jarrett gives Page a DDT and chases Arquette again, but DDP gives Jarrett a clothesline to end it. In the ring, DDP gives Jarrett a uranage. Arquette tries to splash Jarrett from the top, but he misses. I was really surprised to see Arquette do that. After DDP rams Jarrett into the cage, Jarrett dropkicks the ladder into DDP. That's smart. DDP tries to ram Jarrett's nuts into the ringpost, but Jarrett turns the tables and rams DDP's face into said post. Page sets the ladder up as Jarrett's bleeding, so DDP takes Jarrett out for a few more shots into the cage. Jarrett back suplexes DDP off the ladder as both try to escape, and after DDP's able to push Jarrett from the ladder onto the entrance ramp, DDP makes it to Cage #2!

 

Page cut the lock to exit the second cage, but Jarrett arrived and kept him from leaving. Jarrett hits Page with a chair, and tries to go to the third level. He can't. Jarrett breaks a tray over Page's head, but Page responds by hitting him with a trash can. Both knock over one of the walls in Cage #2, leaving an open walkway to the outside. They could've both fell into the crowd, there. Page slams Jarrett through a table, and oh yeah, both guys are bleeding now. Arquette runs up to the third level, apparently to guard the title from intereference or a Jarrett victory. Mike Awesome shows up and attacks Page, but Page gives him a DIAMOND CUTTER.

 

Jarrett and Page finally make it into guitar heaven, otherwise known as Cage #3. Both of them miss multiple guitar shots, leaving Arquette the only one with a guitar. So both make their climb toward the top and the belt. Page is almost there, but Arquette waffles Page with the guitar, allowing Jarrett to grab the title and become two time WCW Champion. Awesome gets up now, to attack Page, but Kanyon makes the save. So Awesome throws him off the second cage to the ramp below, in the same arena where Owen Hart died, after a big fall. Stay classy, WCW. Don't ever change. End of the show.

 

Match Analysis: Anyone who didn't see that coming when watching the show live should slap themselves. Both things. I was pleasantly surprised in regards to the match. I thought it was pretty damn good. My favorite part was the frequent missed guitar shots in Cage #3. In such a small space, it's pretty damn hard to miss that many guitar shots. I'd kinda like if WWE were to one day revive this match. It's fun! We'll go with ***1/4 as the rating. I don't feel like getting all hissy about the swerve and Kanyon's fall to the floor.

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Rating: The show was bad, there's just no way around it. It doesn't even matter that there were a few good decisions, some of the booking just boggled my mind. Too many swerves.

 

Best Segment: I liked Awesome vs. Kanyon, myself. While there was a better match on this show, I preferred this, given that there were no SWERVES.

 

Worst Segment: David Flair hitting Ric Flair. Good God.

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Judgment Day 2004 review should be up sometime soon.