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Review: NWA Clash of the Champions I, from Greensboro, North Carolina, 3/27/88.

I've always wanted to see this show. So now, I will. I had people over, so I wasn't able to watch this until now. And I didn't watch Smackdown, nor do I have plans to. ___________________   Throughout the show, much like during the first RAW that was on 24/7 a few weeks ago, there are multiple interviews about things pertaining to this show. I'd like it if they did that for all the important shows they post (SNME's, Clash's, PPV's, and other shows with special occurences). Wouldn't it be great if they had people on to talk about WrestleMania IX during intervals throughout the show? I'd love to know what people in the business thought about that pile of shit show. Anyway, Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone are on commentary, with Bob Caudle conducting the interviews. ___________________   Our first match on the night is a Varsity Rules match. So, that gives away what faction one of the participants in this match represents. Anyhow, the rules are, you only need to get a one count, and there are 3 five minute periods, with 30 seconds of rest between each period. Like an amateur wrestling match. The match itself is between Jimmy Garvin w/Precious vs. Mike Rotunda w/Kevin Sullivan, for the TV Title. Rotunda talks about how the match went (now), and here we are...   Blow-by-blow: They lock-up, and break, before Rotunda takes Garvin to the canvas. Rotunda armdrags Garvin, but Garvin quickly returns the favor and gives Rotunda a hiptoss. Garvin slams Rotunda, and applies a wristlock. Rotunda pulls Garvin's hair, which forces Garvin to break the hold, and Rotunda runs away. Rotunda applies a headlock and gets shot into the ropes, where Garvin gives him a back elbow. Garvin applies a front facelock, but Rotunda makes the ropes. After that, Rotunda drops Garvin throat-first on the top rope. Rotunda clotheslines Garvin, and goes for a cover, but can't do it, as the first time period expires.   After the 30 second rest period, Rotunda slams Garvin, and goes up top. Garvin slams him off and backdrops him, so Kevin Sullivan gets on the ring apron. Precious holds onto Sullivan's leg, so Garvin clobbers him with a right to the temple. Unfortunately, he forgot about Rotunda, who rolls him up for the 1 count and the victory at 6:02. After, Garvin gives Rotunda a brainbuster, as Rick Steiner runs in. Precious hits Steiner with a 2x4, and chokes out Sullivan with a hanger. Where the hell did she get that?   Match Analysis: I love the concept. It's great. The match wasn't very long, though, so the rating isn't so hot. Just **. Typical JCP heatfest, not that I'm complaining about that. Good start to the show. ___________________   Bob Caudle is with Dr. Death Steve Williams, who treats us to a turrible promo. Turrible. He wants a shot at Ric Flair.   Jim Ross talks about how good the Fantastics/Midnight Express rivalry was (now), in our segue to... ___________________   The Fantastics vs. The Midnight Express w/Jim Cornette for the US Tag Team Titles. The Fantastics are Robert Fulton and Tommy Rogers, in case you didn't know.   Blow-by-blow: Honestly, they went nuts and brawled for the start of the match. I'm talking, ECW level brawl here. The Fantastics get the best, until Eaton grabs a chair and table, and hits both Fantastics with it. Fulton goes to work on Stan Lane in the corner, but the Express double team Rogers, gaining control. Eaton smashes his face in, and Lane tags in, delivering a savate kick to Rogers. Eaton punches away, and with the referee distracted, Cornette picks up a table and Eaton rams Rogers into it. Lane comes in and gives Rogers a legdrop and elbowdrop. Eaton comes in and powerslams Rogers before going to the top, where he gives Rogers an elbowdrop. Lane comes in and gives Rogers a gutwrench suplex; afterward, he picks Rogers nose for him. The Midnight Express give Rogers a Demolition Decapitation, and Eaton gives him a 10 punch in the corner. Rogers gives Eaton a sunset flip, but the ref is distracted and Lane switches in. Lane dumps Rogers out, and Eaton slams Rogers onto, but not through a table. Eaton BULLDOGS Rogers onto the table, so Fulton needs to come over and help him regroup. Eaton tags in, and gives Rogers a legdrop. Fulton tries to tag in, but the referee never saw it. So, Fulton tosses the official over the top, while Cornette comes into the ring. Cornette waffles Eaton with his tennis racket on accident, and Fulton comes off the top during a ROCKET LAUNCHER, winning the tag titles at 10:15. I saw this coming from a mile away, it's a DUSTY FINISH! Because Fulton put his hands on the referee, see. So, the Midnight Express keep their titles. Cornette goes to work on the Fantastics, and Lane whips Fulton with a belt. Haha.   Match Analysis: This match is overrated. I don't even know where to start. I suppose I'll start with Rogers not being in the match after the original brawl. That's dumb. Dusty Finishes are stupid too. More to mark off. And then the ridiculous overbooking. Do not like. ****, because it was HIGHLY entertaining, and there was really good wrestling. The brawling kept me from being really harsh. I'm probably out on Bledsoe Island with this star rating. ___________________   Caudle talks about the barbed wire match later, and Ken Osmond, who plays a guy on the new Leave it to Beaver (that sure worked out well) shows up, and talks with Jim Cornette about going to Cornette's mama's house.   Afterward, Al Perez and Gary Hart are with Caudle, to talk about wanting to be a part of this setup right here. Perez wants to fight Dusty Rhodes, I suppose.   Last, we get a rundown of the top 10 seeds for Crockett Cup '88. Just search for Crockett Cup '88 if you want a match listing, all I wrote down was that Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson were the #1 seed. ___________________   Dusty talks about the barbed wire match (now), which brings us to...   The Road Warriors and Dusty Rhodes w/Paul Ellering vs. The Powers of Pain and Ivan Koloff w/Paul Jones in a BARBED WIRE MATCH.   Blow-by-blow: The barbed wire doesn't look so rough, but I wouldn't dare say that it looks like it wouldn't hurt. It's impossible to follow the action, because the PoP and Road Warriors wear the exact same stuff. Animal's wearing a helmet to protect his eye, so I can see him. Still, it's a 6 person brawl that's restricted to a tiny ring. Dusty and Koloff bleed, Animal powerslams Warlord, and that's basically it, after the pin at 3:37. The heels got SQUASHED. After the match, the Powers of Pain pull Animal's helmet off and beat on his eye while Koloff whips Hawk with his chain, until Dusty saves them.   Match Analysis: The Dusty booking is in full force on this show. Short, sweet, and to the point. That's how I like Dusty matches. *3/4. It was a mess, but one you can enjoy. ___________________   Nikita's with hair, and oh, Bob Caudle too, where he says that kids shouldn't do drugs. Glasnost and stuff, then he bashes Kevin Sullivan.   Barry Windham talks about the upcoming match (now)...again, I reiterate that there should be interviews and stuff like this on every important thing that WWE puts on their 24/7 channel. ___________________   As I was saying, it's Barry Windham and Lex Luger vs. Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson w/JJ Dillon for the NWA Tag Titles. The Four Horsemen connection is so obvious that I really didn't even need to mention it.   Blow-by-blow: Ross calls the challengers the "twin towers." Hey, those were his words, not mine. Luger and Tully start the match, as Luger pushes Tully down to the canvas. Luger poses, until the champions double up on him. Luger clotheslines both, and powerslams Blanchard. It's time for the TORTURE RACK, but Arn kicks Luger in the knee to stop that. Arn tags in, and goes to work on Luger's knee. Elbows and kneedrops galore, until Tully tags back in. Tully does the same, until Luger makes a comeback. Tully takes him to the canvas and Arn tags in, trying for the figure-four. Can't get it, and in Windham comes. Windham gives Tully a LARIAT, and powerslams him for a 2 count. Windham applies a sleeper, and when Tully tries to reach the ropes, Windham rolls through the ropes and keeps the hold applied, outside of the ring. Arn tries to revive Tully when Windham breaks the hold, so when Tully comes in the ring, he applies a choke. Then Tully goes up top, where Windham slams him to the canvas. Windham applies an abdominal stretch, but Arn tags in. He tags Windham with a left hand, and gives him a DDT for 2. Arn gives Windham a spinebuster for two, but Windham knees him in the nuts. Tully tags in, and elbows Windham in the head for a 2 count. Windham gives Tully a crossbody for 2, and then they collide in the center of the ring. Tully takes Windham down so he can't make the tag, and Windham bridges out of a pin attempt, into a double underhook suplex. Arn tags in and grabs onto Windham's arm, but Windham reverses, although he's still unable to tag Luger. Arn misses a kneedrop, but Tully gets in before the tag, and gives Windham a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX, which gets a 2 count. It's tapered off from its hot start, but it's still a great match. Luger and Arn find their way into the ring, and Luger cleans house. Clotheslines for all, until Tully knees Luger in the back. Luger throws Arn into the buckle, and powerslams him, which ignites another brawl. JJ Dillon comes into the ring with a chair as Tully distracts the ref, but Dillon hits Arn with the chair on accident. Luger pins Arn at 9:33, and we have new tag champions! Their title reign didn't last very long, though.   Match Analysis: I liked it more than the earlier tag match. That's not to say it was a better match. It wasn't. I liked how well these two teams worked the formula, and the crowd as well. ***1/2. I could watch this one a few more times. ___________________   Various people talk about competition with WrestleMania IV on that very same night (now), and somehow, that brings us to....   Sting vs. Ric Flair for the NWA Heavyweight Title. There are three judges for this match, Gary Juster, Sandy Scott, and Ken Osmond. The other two have something to do with the business, I think Juster was on the NWA Board of Directors. Anyhow, JJ Dillon must be locked in a cage for the duration of the bout. There's a 45 minute time limit, too.   Blow-by-blow: You can tell by the crowd reaction that Sting isn't that over. Yet. They lock-up, and both men break to do their little wooos. Flair puts Sting in an armwringer, but Sting reverses it. Sting puts Flair in a headlock, and takes him down to the canvas when Flair reverses it into a wristlock. Flair reaches the ropes, and chops away at Sting, who no-sells the blows. Sting hiptosses Flair, and sends him out of the ring with a dropkick. Flair comes back in, and applies a hammerlock, which gets reversed by Sting. Flair makes it to the ropes, but is given a gorilla press slam by Sting. Sting follows that up with a flying headscissor, and a hiptoss. He takes Flair to the canvas with a headlock that gets 2, and stays with the headlock. For a really long time. Sting's bleeding from one of Flair's chops, as we're still in the headlock after a shoulderblock. The build is far too slow. Flair goes for a 10 punch in the corner, but Sting prevents it and hiptosses him. 10 minutes have passed, and Flair tosses Sting out of the ring after a missed dropkick. Sting comes in really quick, and punches Flair 5 times at the corner, before taking him over with a headlock for 2. Flair makes it to the ropes, and gets gorilla pressed again. Sting applies a bearhug to Flair, which lasts about three minutes. You know, when typing this, my opinion of the match just lessens. It's sounds even more boring. We're 16:00 in, and nothing's really happened. This was where the match got good. Sting misses an elbowdrop, and misses a STINGER SPLASH, too. Flair gives Sting an inverted atomic drop, and tosses Sting out of the ring, where he rams him into the railing that surrounds the ring. Flair brings him in, and rams him into the turnbuckle twice, after chopping him. Flair kneedrops Sting twice, and rakes him on the back. Flair grabs a chair, but instead, he gutshots Sting and sends him back into the guardrail, on the outside. Flair chops away inside the ring, but Sting no-sells it, and knocks Flair over the top rope with a big right hand. Sting misses a charge at Flair, and accidentally clotheslines the ring post. Inside, Sting chokes Flair after reversing a wristlock, and gives Flair another hiptoss. He clotheslines Flair for 2, and when Flair tries to bail out, Sting suplexes him back in from the ring apron. Sting applies the SCORPION DEATHLOCK, but Flair makes the ropes. Sting chokes Flair with his boot, but Flair is able to get up and chop him. Sting no-sells that, so Flair begs. Sting hiptosses Flair AGAIN, but he misses a charge at Flair and flies over the top rope. Sting comes back into the ring, so Flair chokes him. That does absolutely nothing, as Flair knocks Sting away, and goes to the top, hitting a crossbody for 2. Flair gives Sting a kneebreaker, and kicks him right in the leg, before giving him another kneebreaker. Flair gives Sting a back suplex, as 30 minutes have passed. Flair gives Sting the FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK, and grabs the ropes to cheat. A lot. Sting pulls Flair away from the ropes, and reverses the hold, causing Flair to break it. Flair tries to suplex Sting out of the ring, but Sting reverses and suplexes him back in. Sting goes for a splash, but he eats knees. Sting applies an abdominal stretch, but Flair finds a way to get him to break the hold. Flair goes to the top after an elbowdrop, and Sting slams him off the top, for a 2 count. Sting takes Flair over to the ringpost, and slides him into it, nuts first. Sting gives Flair a FIGURE-FOUR, but Flair reaches the ropes. Sting gives Flair ANOTHER hiptoss, and stomps away at Flair's knee. Flair pushes the official, so the official pushes back, knocking Flair down. Sting takes Flair to the buckle, and Flair does his flip over the turnbuckles, falling to the floor afterward. Sting rams Flair into a table, and the guardrail, and the ringpost as well. Sting knocks Flair over the guardrail, and pulls him back over, toward the ring. Flair sunset flips in, but Sting knocks him right in the mouth, and takes him to the corner. 40 minutes have passed. Sting gives Flair a 5 punch at the corner, and Flair tries an inverted atomic drop. He isn't able to, so Sting clotheslines him for 2. Sting misses a STINGER SPLASH, and flies over the top, with 3 minutes remaining. Flair chops Sting, and Sting returns the punishment with a shoulderblock. Flair applies a sleeper, so Sting charges at the turnbuckle and ducks, causing Flair's face to ram right into the turnbuckle. Flair dumps Sting out to rest, but Sting flies back in with a sunset flip attempt. Flair grabs the ropes and gets a 2 count, but when forced to let go of the ropes, Sting brings him over for a 2 count. Two minutes remain. Sting takes Flair to the turnbuckle, where he does the Flair Flip, and Flair comes off the top with a crossbody that gets reversed for a 2 count. Flair chops and kicks, but it does absolutely nothing. 1 minute remains. Sting gives Flair a 5 punch at the corner, and a STINGER SPLASH. Sting applies the SCORPION DEATHLOCK, with 30 seconds remaining. Flair holds on...10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...Flair submits, but the bell has sounded. We go to the judges decision, and...they cannot decide on a winner. We have a DRAW, and Flair remains World Champion. That's the end of the show, too.   Match Analysis: The beginning of the match really was not very good, and neither was Sting's repetitive moveset. He must've hiptossed Flair 8 or 9 times, I didn't even mention all of them, I think. The last 30 minutes of the match were among the best I've ever seen in North American wrestling. I suppose I'll meet somewhere and call it ****1/4, because really, the end always has more importance than the beginning. It's still overrated in regards to what I've heard about it in the past, but this really was the match that established Sting. By the end of the match, those fans were going insane for him. ___________________   Rating: Excellent. If you have any questions about what I said in regards to Sting/Flair, just ask. The entire card was fantastic. I'd be hard pressed to find many other wrestling events that I could sit down and watch at random. Watch it.   Best Segment: Flair/Sting. That said, I loved the NWA Tag Title Match.   Worst Segment: Dr. Death's terrible promo. It was horrendous.   Everyone got great crowd reactions. This show was a perfect example of how you book guys to get over and look strong. Not to say that Dusty Finishes are any good, mind you. ___________________   My next thing will have RAW, a few matches from the Ladder Match DVD (the ones that were on RAW), and WWECW.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1/31/08, featuring RAW and Nitro from 5/26/1997.

I didn't watch ECW, and after reading the results, I'm not going to track it down. While I understand that Shelton Benjamin wouldn't have gone over Kane after getting the better of him, why book that match in the first place then? A countout just leaves everyone looking stupid. ___________________   First, we have Nitro from Nashville, Tennessee, which took place on 5/26/97.   Here comes the NWO at the beginning of the show...but really, just Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff. I had a feeling at this point that these assholes in the front row with their signs would obstruct my view for the whole show, but they didn't. Hogan talks about hangin' with Nasty Nick and Brooke in the Bahamas (yes, I laughed), and how Sting's gonna be snapped in half tonight, brah. He wants Sting out now, of course, Sting does not comply. This feels like a huge show. ___________________   Our first match on the night fits with the huge show thing, given that this is Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo and Hector Garza vs. LA PARKA, Ciclope and Damien.   - It was heatless, until Calo practically flew over his opponent when diving out of the ring onto him, landing in the crowd. Back leg front kicks are abound in this match...why does Tony call them that?   - Garza corkscrew plancha's onto everyone, then powerbombs Ciclope in the ring, and pins him after a standing moonsault for the three count at 6:26. **3/4. Very fun, very good. ___________________   We went to a commercial, and came back right as Alex Wright vs. Psychosis was starting.   - Alex Wright, hell yes! I thought the Nick Patrick reinstatement angle would rear its ugly head in this, but I was wrong. That's good.   - We get...the DANCE!!!! Wright does it a whole bunch, but Psychosis kicks his ass. Psychosis pins Wright after a guillotine legdrop from the top, for 3 at 4:07. *3/4, cause Psychosis kinda blew a plancha, and barely touched Wright with it.   Mean Gene is with Sonny Onoo, who says that Masa Chono is gonna get some tonight. Onoo makes some sort of deal with Psychosis, and there's Madusa. Kinda saw that coming. She wants a shot at Akira Hokuto, and says she'll do anything. Onoo excepts, and if Madusa loses at the Great American Bash, she has to retire. Nobody cared. ___________________   The next match is Mark Starr vs. Wrath w/Mortis and James Vandenberg.   - This'll be very short, as the announcers put over Wrath's karate background. I really don't know what to say about that. Mortis is on guard duty to keep Glacier away, and when Starr is tossed out of the ring, Mortis goes to work on him. Wrath squashes Starr, and finishes things up with the DEATH PENALTY at 2:34. *1/2. While this Mortis/Wrath/Glacier/Ernest Miller stuff is really stupid, I like it. ___________________   Back from the break, with Villano IV vs. Konnan.   - Apparently, Konnan turned on Hugh Morrus at Slamboree. Good.   - This isn't a squash, thankfully. Morrus tries to attack Konnan, but Doug Dillinger and his great security team prevent him from getting to the ring. Meanwhile, Konnan puts Villano IV in the TEQUILA SUNRISE, which gets the submission victory at 3:10. *1/4. Mean Gene comes in to ask a few questions to Konnan, who says he's for la raza. Forget Kevin Sullivan and Morrus. ___________________   Here's Onoo, and his surprise for tonight's match against Chono is...THE GREAT MUTA.   - Thought so. Chono's NWO, see. We get 2:12 of nothing, and during a headlock, Muta releases the hold and RED MISTS Onoo in the face, at 3:03. So, Muta's NWO 4 LIFE. Can't really rate that. ___________________   It's HOUR #2, and Bobby Heenan's wearing a pajama shirt while on commentary. We have a paid announcement by the NWO, with MACHO MADNESS, YEAHHHH! He's talking about the Great American Bash.   DDP and Kimberly make their way to Mean Gene, as I suddenly notice that there's been a red carpet laid down the aisle. Is this just for them, or has it been there? I'll have to check. It's only a typical DDP promo, but Savage doesn't come down and interfere this time.   Ok, the Red Carpet wasn't there all along, but someone got lazy and left it there for the rest of the show. Typical WCW. ___________________   The first match of Hour #2 is the Barbarian w/Jimmy Hart vs. Jim Powers w/Teddy Long.   - So, I see that Powers stayed roided up after the 80's were long gone. I had absolutely no interest in this, and neither did the crowd. I suppose it's good that a big boot by the Barbarian ended things for Powers at 3:18. DUD. ___________________   Our next match is a three-on-one handicap match, with Johnny Swinger, Jerry Flynn and Rick Fuller taking on the Giant w/Lex Luger.   - The Incredible Hulk Giant doesn't have any music. Ok. I thought these would be three local jobbers, but they aren't, at all. Their triple team does nothing to the Giant, so he CHOKESLAMS all of them and pins Swinger and Flynn at 2:16. *. Cool squash.   Mean Gene comes out, to talk with Luger and the Giant. See, Hogan and Dennis Rodman have this open contract for a tag match at Bash at the Beach '97. Luger and the Giant want to sign that contract.   On the Road with Lee Marshall in Dayton, Ohio is a sure FF... ___________________   Here comes...SYXX. He's talking about Flair, and we see video of what happened last week. A town killer for sure, given that it happened in North Carolina. Here come the Outsiders, but no hey, yo treatment here. They want to give Piper and Flair a chance at their tag team titles. They'll retire Flair, this is NWO TERRITORY, NWO 4 LIFE, 2 SWEEEEET and all that. ___________________   Our main event is Jeff Jarrett and Mongo w/Debra vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri.   - A few weeks ago, this match was supposed to happen, but it was Jarrett for pretty much the duration. And it sucked. Let me tell you, this is just as exciting.   - WCW is coming to LA and Detroit. Yay! Mongo runs over to Greene at way too late a point in the match for this to still be going, and they brawl to the back. Booker comes in, and gives Jarrett a HARLEM SIDEKICK, getting Harlem Heat the win at 10:13. 1/2*. Really, really bad, with no commercials to spare me from the action. ___________________   It's the same two as earlier, Hogan and Bischoff. The NWO Belt is on the line, if only Sting would come out here. They can't find Sting, because...HE'S UNDER THE RING.   IT'S STING!   Oh, wait a sec. Hogan asks Sting to get on his knees, and Sting does.   IT'S FAKE STING!   Fake Sting is on his knees, worshipping the ground that Hogan spits on. Figures. He says he wishes he could be Hollywood and...   IT'S STING!   From out of the rafters he comes, and gives Bischoff a SCORPION DEATHDROP! Hogan sees him, and he's scared shitless. He falls over Fake Sting, and runs back to the entrance. Sting beats on the fake with a bat, and here comes the cavalry, meaning the entire NWO. Sting reattaches his hook, and rides back toward the ceiling, so that the NWO can't get to him, ending the show. ___________________   Nitro was a pile of poop, for the most part. Poor show, outside of the opening and end. Best segment was obviously the ending, and the worst was Barbarian vs. Powers. At least the Mongo stuff had some sort of angle going on, and the Jarrett/Mongo tension. ___________________   RAW, from the same night, in Evansville, Indiana is next.   Unfortunately, Vince McMahon is on commentary. Boo. Here comes STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD and Shawn Michaels to talk with Jim Ross. Austin says he's the captain of this team, and LOD come to the ring. They want a title shot on RAW next week if the first mentioned team win their match against Owen Hart and the British Bulldog tonight. The challengers say sure, and then, Austin and HBK argue even more. ___________________   Our first match, is Brian Pillman and Jim Neidhart w/the rest of the Hart Foundation vs. LOD.   - The Hart Foundation stays at the top of the stage, like they always do.   - Seeing as Pillman's a loose cannon, he gets beat up the whole time. That makes sense. LOD's going to give Pillman the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, so the Hart Foundation runs in and prevents that from taking place at 4:26, getting Pillman and Neidhart DQ'd. *1/4. HBK and Austin go to help LOD, but Shawn accidentally baseball slides into Austin, while the Harts bail out. So, HBK and Austin brawl. Good post match, as I expected.   Paul Bearer's backstage, and Taker better do as he says! ___________________   D'Lo Brown is making his RAW wrestling debut against Bob Holly now, as the Nation goes back to, well, the back.   - Faarooq stays around, for commentary. The match is essentially Holly getting squashed, which is to say it's nothing special at all. D'Lo powerbombs Holly, and pins him at 3:10. *1/2.   Taker's in the back, talking about how tough it is to make the decision he'll have to make later.   Then Jerry Lawler cuts a promo on Goldust, in which he calls him a flaming fag for his usual in-ring antics. That was great. ___________________   So, yeah, Jerry Lawler is facing Goldust w/Marlena in a King of the Ring First Round match.   - Lawler gets a gigantic pop, obviously because Evansville was a regular Memphis stop. His piledriver didn't finish the match, so that sucked. Still, the Lawler chant is great.   - Marlena slapping Lawler was funny, as was him pinning Goldust with his feet on the ropes at 5:10 to win a very good match. **1/4. Goldust attacks Lawler after the match, and gets decent heel heat.   Steve Austin's in the lockerroom, where the Hart Foundation jumps him. Ha. We go to a commercial, and the same happened to HBK, as Austin goes into his lockerroom to find out why Shawn didn't have his back. ___________________   Flash Funk vs. Rocky Maivia is our next match.   - So, a face vs. face match. Sure thing that a heel runs in.   - And here we are, the Headbangers have come ringside for a party. They're not really heels, but they'll interfere. They do, when both men go outside the ring. What the fuck? Mosh hits Flash Funk with a boombox, and tosses him back in, where Rocky gives him a crossbody off the top for a 3 count at 3:35. *3/4. Funk and Rocky shake hands after the match, to show that there aren't any hard feelings. What's up with that Headbanger nonsense?   Bret Hart's on the TitanTron, and says he'll definitely be able to beat Shawn Michaels in 10 minutes. Pillman's supposed to face Austin at the King of the Ring too, but obviously, things changed. And you'll find out how, later. ___________________   Welcome to the Warzone, where guys like Ahmed Johnson and Vader do battle.   - Ken Shamrock's on commentary during this match. You know, his entrance music changes every week, at this point. Ahmed isn't getting crowd reactions like earlier in the year, so this isn't what it would've been in, say, February.   - There's a UFC ad in here, which ties into the match because Vader and Ahmed are doing this gay ass faux MMA striking shit. It looks like two retards are fighting each other. Ahmed gives Vader a spinebuster, which gains the pinfall for him at 3:05. Kinda outta nowhere. 3/4*.   Paul Bearer is going to come out at the end of the show, so Taker better decide quickly! ___________________   HHH w/Chyna is facing Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man now....   - It's weird to see a face v. face and a heel v. heel match on the same show. Given the participants in this match, there's an obvious connection here. Funny how things work out. Honky was going to hit HHH in the head with his guitar, but Chyna prevents that and bodyslams Honky, and HHH gives Rockabilly the PEDIGREE for the pinfall at 3:17. *1/4. ___________________   Mankind interview part #2...features a lot of great footage, but you just have to find it. I can't really cover everything he says. Loved it, though. ___________________   Up next is what we've all been waiting for, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart & the British Bulldog for the WWF Tag Team Championships.   Blow-by-blow: This was of importance, see. The video's messed up a little, for some reason, but the audio isn't. And Vince says that Austin's going to open a can of whoop-ass. Shawn pescado's his way onto Bulldog during the champions ring entrance, which is when I started timing. The bell rings a bit after, when they get in the ring. Austin knees and elbowdrops Owen three times, before going for the SHARPSHOOTER. Bulldog keeps that from happening, and Austin goes to the 2nd, giving Owen another elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Shawn tags in, and goes up top, giving Owen an axhandle on the way down. He goes to punch Bulldog and grabs onto Owen's arm, but Owen reverses the hold and gouges Shawn in the eye. Bulldog tags in and shoulderblocks Shawn, but Shawn pokes him in the eye when he tries again, and gives Bulldog a hurricanrana. He beats on the champions, and gives Bulldog an enziguri for 2. Austin tags in, and kicks Bulldog right in the nuts as the ref is distracted. Austin tags Shawn in after choking Bulldog, but he tags right back in after about 2 seconds. Austin armwrings Bulldog, but Owen comes in to stop that, and after a Bulldog clothesline, Owen gets tagged in. He dumps Austin to the outside, and drops him throat-first along the guardrail. The rest of the Hart Foundation, save Bret, comes closer to the ring, and we go to a   COMMERCIAL BREAK.   Owen has Austin in a chinlock when we come back, which will end all ***** talk if there's another. Austin powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries to do it again, Owen puts him in a sleeper. Austin gives him a jawbreaker, and here comes Shawn and Bulldog. Shawn gives Bulldog the flying forearm and kips up, before giving Bulldog a dropkick. Shawn runs the ropes again, but Bulldog has him up in gorilla press position, where he THROWS Shawn nut first into the top rope. Holy fuck, I bet that hurt. Owen slams Shawn into the post, and brings him back in afterward, where Bulldog pokes him in the eye. Bulldog slingshots Shawn into a turnbuckle for 2, and whips him into another turnbuckle where Shawn goes upside down. Bulldog then picks Shawn up, and gives him a running powerslam for 2, as Austin breaks the cover. Owen switches in, adn gives Shawn a gutwrench suplex and legdrop for 2. Owen goes to a chinlock, and *****'s are gone. Shawn powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries it again he's given a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Shawn gives Owen a sunset flip, but the referee is distracted, so it only gets a 2 count. Bulldog comes in with a clothesline, and a legdrop for a 2 count, prior to applying a front facelock. Owen comes in during a fake tag in which Austin distracts the official, and places Shawn on the top rope. Shawn knocks Owen off, and gives him a crossbody, which only gets a 2 count. When Owen gets up, he quickly gives Shawn a spinning heel kick, but misses a charge at Shawn, which gives him the opportunity to tag Austin. When Austin gets in, he cleans house. HOUSE. He tries to give Bulldog a STUNNER after the beatdowns, but Owen prevents that from happening. Shawn hops in and gives Bulldog SWEET CHIN MUSIC, which allows Austin to cover Bulldog at 10:28, for the Tag Titles. New champions! The Harts run into the ring and jump Shawn, but Bret's still at the top of the stage. Austin pretty much says, "forget Shawn, cause he didn't help me earlier," so he goes and attacks Bret's knee. He pounds on it, until the cavalry arrives to help Bret, not even thinking about following Austin to the back. So, now you know how they got out of Bret vs. Shawn at King of the Ring.   Match Analysis: That was one of the most action packed matches I've ever seen. The action was so fast that my hand started hurting, and that hasn't happened to me yet since I've been writing. Anyway, ****1/2. 1/4 off for the two chinlocks, and 1/4 off for the finish that came a little too quick after the hot tag for my taste. Still, you must watch this match. Great booking, great pace, great wrestling. Great everything. ___________________   After, Austin tells the video camera that he did this all by himself, and when HBK comes in, they argue. Winning titles didn't change a thing.   Paul Bearer's finally in the ring, with Vince McMahon. Taker's time is up, so he's talking. He tells the crowd that when Taker's parents died, there were three graves. And that's enough to bring Taker to the ring, in a hurry. Taker hates Bearer, and says that Bearer won't be able to talk once he's done with him. But that said, he has to kneel before Bearer and do exactly what Bearer wants. End show. Hmm... ___________________   This was one of the best RAW's I've ever seen. Excellent is the rating you receive. Best segment was that amazing tag team match, and the worst was Ahmed/Vader. I hated it.   RAW was, needless to say, way better. My Clash I review will be up on Friday or Saturday, depends on how much typing time I have tonight and early tomorrow.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-29-08, featuring Smackdown, and RAW.

The column got pushed back a day because I ordered the Rumble. No biggie, right? ___________________   I'm going to copy my notes for Smackdown, seeing as the Rumble changed a ton of things. This is from Charlottesville, VA, just like ECW was.   Rey Mysterio faced the Edgeheads in a handicap match...   - Rey's new entrance setup rocks it. This is one of those "I tag you" handicap matches, which I really don't care for.   - Curt Hawkins comes in at 6:13 and hits Rey with a chair, giving Rey the win via DQ. Rey dropkicks the chair into his face, and forces the heels to scatter. *3/4. Not half bad.   Some dude named Jesse is talking about how some dude named Festus is being fixed. Needless to say, I've never seen those two in my life. ___________________   Next up is a match between Jimmy Wang Yang w/Shannon Moore vs. Domino w/Deuce and Cherry.   - Yang's gimmick is really starting to wear on me. I hate his stupid music, and I hate his stupid dance.   - Yang pins Domino with a moonsault block at 5:24. I don't really like the way he does the move, either. *1/4.   Backstage, Jamie Noble and Chuck Palumbo argue for a bit, until Michelle McCool comes into the picture. Then they stop, because they're in a match...NEXT. ___________________   So yeah, Chuck Palumbo, Jamie Noble, and Michelle McCool are facing John Morrison, the Miz, and Layla.   - We'll talk about the angle at the end of the match. At around 1:40, Palumbo and Noble argued with each other, and Palumbo pushed Noble into McCool, who was on the ring apron. Then Palumbo assaulted Noble, and pushed McCool onto the ground when she tried to stop him. Hey, Palumbo got booed, so it worked. ___________________   MVP comes to the ring, because he has something to share with us. That something is a bunch of photoshopped pictures, mostly making fun of Flair. I thought the shuffleboard one was funny, as was the one where Flair was wearing the Jack Nicklaus Golden Bear hat. So, Ric Flair comes out, and says he'll beat MVP at the Rumble (which he did). ___________________   Our next match is a Belfast Brawl, obviously Finlay w/Hornswoggle facing the Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh. The rules were never explained.   - Khali tried to put Hornswoggle through the annonce table, so Finlay grabs the shillelagh and beats Khali to a bloody pulp. The match just stops at 4:50. Lame. *. Khali's been booked to look super weak lately. ___________________   Vince McMahon is with Finlay, but he only wants to talk to his son.   Batista comes to the ring, and talks. He's putting everyone on notice for the Rumble.   Backstage, Noble encountered Michelle McCool as she was being stretchered out of the building, and he tells her that he'll get Palumbo. Ok. ___________________   Now we have our semi-main event, featuring the Undertaker, who's taking on Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker.   - This is going to be bad, if their matches in the past are any indication. By that, I'm talking nearly 10 years ago. It's actually scary how small V makes Taker look.   - Taker slaps on a gogoplata at 6:12, causing V to tap out. The finish looked so contrived, you just have to see it. Plus, V bit the blood capsule. 3/4*. Mark Henry comes to the ring, screaming at Taker that he "went too far." The fuck is that supposed to mean? ___________________   The last match is CM Punk vs. Edge w/the Edgeheads in a non-title bout.   - Rey Mysterio is on commentary. Why they're doing this now, I have no idea. But I'm not booking this show. That said, Punk losing now is better than him challenging and losing later.   - Punk botched his springboard clothesline pretty bad. Up to that point, the match was going really well. Punk avoids an Edge charge to the corner, but Edge comes right back out with the SPEAR to finish at 7:50 (shown). **. Rey runs in to be by Punk's side after the match, and that's the show. ___________________   Looking back, given the MSG crowd on Sunday, Rey should never have been in the title match. That's hindsight, for ya. Show was poor, best segment was Palumbo beating down Noble, and the worst was Finlay/Khali. I enjoyed that one the least. Smackdown is easily the most boring of the three shows, IMO. That's not to say it's the worst, because it isn't. ___________________   The MSG show was good, but I didn't finish it. I liked Bret Hart's debut more than anything else. ___________________   The typical crowd here in Philly boos John Cena. This, of course, is RAW. Cena talks about his injury, and how life wasn't the same. Well, duh. He wants to face Orton ASAP, meaning tonight. Orton comes out and says no, he'll only fight Cena if people are paying for it. That means they'll have a match at No Way Out. Cena still says that he'll find a way to get Orton tonight. ___________________   Our first match was Ashley and Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall and Beth Phoenix.   - Lillian Garcia messed up Beth's entrance pretty bad. Anyway, Mickie is the only thing good about this match. Of course, Beth pins her with the fisherman buster at 2:52. 3/4*. Ashley just stood on the apron watching, seeing as Hall was way late in coming over to grab her leg. So, it looked really bad. ___________________   Vince McMahon is with William Regal, who has an idea for No Way Out. Vince wants him to share it with the public, after the commercial.   A video after the commercial tells me that the Steve Austin DVD is coming out soon...   And then, Regal comes to the stage, blubbering through his announcement. It's for the Elimination Chamber, where the winner goes on to face the winner of Cena/Orton at WrestleMania. We watch a video of past Elimination Chambers, but none of the footage is from the ECW version. Our participants in this are...UMANGA, HBK, Chris Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy, and Triple Haitch.   Mike Adamle talks about our later matches, which are Snitsky and UMAGA vs. HHH and a partner of his choice, and JBL/Orton vs. Jericho/Jeff Hardy. Much better this time, as opposed to the Rumble when he Regal'd his way through the entire night. ___________________   The second match on the night is Cody Rhodes w/Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito w/Santino Marella and Maria.   - At the Rumble, Carlito spit on Rhodes' face. So, we have this.   - Cody's punches look really stiff. That said, he punches away a bit too often, so when Santino distracts him, it's easy for Carlito to give him the BACKSTABBER, for the pinfall at 3:05. *. ___________________   HHH is with Shawn Michaels in the lockerroom, and we know that at No Way Out, both guys will need to do what it takes to get that title shot. But right now, HHH needs a partner for his match. So...Shawn accepts, then jumps out of the picture, and comes back in with new, DX merchandise on. I like this whole thing with Shawn and his merchandise.   UFC promo for Mir vs. Lesnar. Really looking forward to watching Brock eat fists there.   Last in this run of segments, is some filming for Candice Michelle's Godaddy.com Super Bowl commercial. ___________________   Like, I said, it's a DX night, as they'll face UMAGA and Snitsky.   - I think I'm one of the few smarks that get enjoyment out of the DX thing. I love nostalgia. HHH talks about Buffer's gimmick infringement at the Rumble. I let out a small laugh for that.   - And with their whole entrance thing, I almost forgot there's a match. HHH grabs a mic and asks if anyone has a toothbrush. You know, cause Snitsky's in the ring. The "BRUSH YOUR TEETH" chant gets going, and I laugh. Every arena should chant that during Snitsky's matches. I think it's funny how I said last week that these were the only two guys left to squash that white kid on ECW, and now they're tagging up with each other.   - HBK is your face in peril, but thankfully, there's a commercial. Snitsky's shitty bearhug generally ruins matches, and this is no exception. HHH tags in, Umaga receives SWEET CHIN MUSIC from Shawn, and HHH gives Snitsky the PEDIGREE for the pinfall, at 12:13. Who knows why the match was of that length, *3/4. ___________________   Randy Orton's in the back with JBL, and Orton wants to know that JBL will have his back if Cena shows up. JBL says, sure.   Todd Grisham's with Jeff Hardy, who says nothing of note.   And Vince is with Hornswoggle now. Vince is disappointed, damnit. Get the hell out of this room right now. ___________________   The next match is Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick. Hey, at least we're getting a bunch of matches tonight.   - Kendrick ran right into the ring and slapped Kennedy. That was funny. Unfortunately, he gets squashed and finished off with the MIC CHECK, for 3 at 1:59. Now, the mike comes down. Kennedy didn't want in the Elimination Chamber, he wanted to retire Ric Flair. I like this idea. He's not going to be the guy to retire Flair, but he's well perceived enough by the fans so that Flair can go over him and continue to get stronger, prior to his retirement. Flair comes out, and has two things to say.   First, good luck.   Second, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So, they'll have a match at No Way Out. ___________________   We go right into another match, this being Melina vs. Maria w/Santino Marella.   - Santino dissin' Melina on the way to the ring is hilarious. That said, he wouldn't be nearly as funny (or not funny at all) if he didn't have the accent.   - This match was horrid. Melina went to roll-up Maria, but pulled her pants down, revealing Maria's underwear. So, Maria got the pin at 2:something. I lost the time. Santino runs into the ring and covers Maria up, and says, "damn you Japanese for your high definition technology." Then he says that JR had erected a monument in his trousers. But a small monument, see. Funny stuff. DUD.   Todd Grisham is with Y2J in the back, and what happened at the Rumble (he hung JBL) is the new him...and he likes that.   Mike Adamle then previews No Way Out, prior to... ___________________   Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho vs. JBL and Randy Orton.   - Looking like this match could be long. And good.   - Jeff Hardy gave Orton a SWANTON really early, but JBL prevented that from being the end of the match. We go to the break, and come back, as Orton doesn't have Hardy in a chinlock. Thankfully. JBL and Jericho's brawling sequences are rough. They stiff the hell out of each other. Hardy crashes and burns outside, and Y2J has JBL trapped in the WALLS OF JERICHO. Orton comes in and gives Jericho an RKO, which gets his team the 3 count at 10:58. **1/2, good TV stuff. John Cena comes out, presumably to have a go at Orton. JBL ducks out under the bottom rope, and we're one-on-one. Cena kicks Orton's ass, and finishes that off with the F-U. Not a single RAW this year has left Orton in a favorable position at the end of the show. That's really weird booking. ___________________   The show was, uh, good. Barely good. The best segment was the tag match at the end between JBL/Orton and Hardy/Jericho, and the worst was probably the actual Melina/Maria match. I don't know what'll be on my next column, other than ECW from today. I might even review Clash I before I put that up, I don't know. No promises.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-23-08, featuring RAW and ECW.

This is just a RAW and ECW column. So, you've been warned. RAW is from Hampton, VA. ___________________   The new video wall is Fantastic. I purposefully capitalized that.   And our first match is Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy.   - Kennedy hasn't been doing his entrance with the microphone recently. I wonder why? I watched the whole show much later than when it occured, so times are going to be there, and sometimes not there.   - When Kennedy couldn't bridge out of the pinning move into a backslide, I thought that was great, as was HBK's somersault pescado. I loved the finish, which constituted HBK going for that reverse figure-four, and getting kicked off. Then HBK kipped up, and hit Kennedy with SWEET CHIN MUSIC at 11:57 (shown) for the victory. ***. This was probably as good as a match between these two could get.   Randy Orton's with Vince McMahon, who's giving him reasons to shake hands with Jeff Hardy tonight, cause they're supposed to shake hands and all. ___________________   The next match was Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women's Title.   - Beth finishes with a fisherman's buster at 3:42. I didn't really care, *1/2. ___________________   Todd Grisham is with HHH, who talks about Vince in HD. Mostly about how old he's gonna look, and then, he talks about the Rumble.   After, Brian Kendrick is with Cody Rhodes. Kendrick has to qualify for the Rumble tonight, and Hardcore Holly comes bustin' in, talking about how he'll get rid of anyone, including Rhodes, to win the Royal Rumble. ___________________   So, the next match is the Highlanders vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle.   - What are the Highlanders, super jobbers? Anyway, Hornswoggle gets the pin after a frog splash. *.   And now Chris Jericho comes out, with great pyro, to talk about JBL. He says he'll fight him, to little fanfare. His return has been a disaster.   Vince is now with Jeff Hardy, telling him to never risk someone's life like he did last week. ___________________   Brian Kendrick's Royal Rumble Qualifying Match is against.....UMAGA. Harharhar.   - Yes, I really laughed when I heard William Regal announce that Kendrick was facing UMAGA. This was a super squash, ending with the SAMOAN SPIKE at 2:20. **. ___________________   Mickie James is backstage with Maria, and sad that she can't beat Phoenix. She leaves, and Ashley comes into the picture, talking about a party at the Playboy Mansion. And then, Santino Marella came in and said something so funny that I didn't even write it down.   And why is Big Pussy on Celebrity Apprentice? ___________________   Hardcore Holly w/Cody Rhodes is facing Carlito w/Maria and Santino in a singles match, now.   - Why did Carlito stick around, again? He's been buried so far down on the card that he'll be a Heat regular by WrestleMania. I don't have HD, but even I can see how old Holly's looking. Santino distracts Holly during an Alabama Slam attempt, so Carlito gives him a BACKSTABBER for the win at 3:11. That's one of my favorite finishing moves, but the match was a mess. 1/2*. ___________________   Now, we have HHH's match vs. a mystery opponent. His new entrance setup is the best of all of them. No time, given that I'm watching this via...nefarious means. It's a over-the-top gauntlet match, and his first opponent is Snitsky. Once this was announced as a gauntlet, I knew he'd be in it. What a terrible payoff to a terrible angle. Why'd I expect more? Moving on, HHH throws Snitsky out. And HHH's second opponent is Mark Henry. Uh, brand extension? Henry charges at HHH after a while, but HHH pulls down the top rope, eliminating him. Last is...an IRATE William Regal, who gets destroyed by HHH and tossed out. I guess this whole angle was just for the sole purpose of HHH putting himself over three guys. 1/2*. ___________________   The last segment on this show was the scheduled handshake between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. Orton says that he respects Hardy, but Hardy says the exact opposite. He says that there's a lot of people whose hands he'll shake before Orton's. First, Jim Ross, second, Jerry Lawler, and third, Lillian Garcia. Then Hardy goes into the crowd, and shakes a bunch of people's hands. When Hardy gets back in the ring, he gives Orton a TWIST OF FATE. Well, Orton's definitely going over, because Hardy's had the better of him the last two weeks. If Hardy won, Orton would look awful. ___________________   Show was...decent, the best segment was HBK/Kennedy, and the worst was that HHH gauntlet trash. ___________________   Last night, I watched ECW, from, well, 1/21/08. This show took place at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. I like that all the shows use the same set, it makes things look, uh, more important.   The first contest was an Over the Top Rope Challenge, between Kane, The Miz, John Morrison, Tommy Dreamer, and Shelton Benjamin.   - Well, I know who's winning this. Dreamer's looking fat, which bothers me. I don't like seeing guys I grew up watching age.   Order of Elimination: Dreamer by Kane at 1:00, Miz and Morrison by Kane and Shelton at 2:58, and Kane by Shelton at 3:01. Shelton skinned the cat and headscissored Kane out, to win. Cool. I was wrong. And THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NUUUHHH. Kinda hard to rate that, but I'll go a bit less than **, with a *3/4. ___________________   We get that Best Body Contest I was awaiting so much...at least they did it when I had to use the restroom. I missed most of it, but I saw Coach dancing to the music as I went out. And Kelly Kelly won. Wow. There are nowhere near as many kids in the crowd this week, it feels like RAW. ___________________   Next was Kofi Kingston's debut, against a jobber named David Owen. Kofi's tracksuit is cool.   - That jobber did everything in his power to make Kingston look like shit. He succeeded. Kofi hits him with a really bad looking kick (because his opponent was standing so close to him) at 3:15 for the pinfall. DUD. That was not good.   Edge is with Chavo Guerrero in the back, because Chavo gets his title shot tonight. Soon Vickie Guerrero comes into the picture, cause it's Chavo's night. After, we get a GREAT Royal Rumble video, with facts and figures about the match. That may have been the best part of the show, thus far. ___________________   The white kid is with Tazz again. He's facing the GREAT KHALI this week. About time. Khali gives him the HEAD CRUSH, for the win at 0:37. It's not getting so old, I suppose, but there aren't many other guys to feed him to. Umaga and Snitsky...that's about it, I think. *. ___________________   And now, we have Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk in a...NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH for the ECW Championship. Well, that stipulation was a surprise, but not really.   - Edge is on commentary. I know where this is going. And I don't like it at all. Punk tries to get rough first, by pulling the turnbuckle pad off, although nothing comes of it...yet.   - The crowd is a little mild, but this time, Chavo gets heat. Punk drops Chavo on the exposed turnbuckle, and gives Chavo the GTS. Edge runs into the ring (fuck, not this shit) and gives Punk a SPEAR, which after a LONG period of Chavo lying around, gets Chavo the 3 count and ECW Title at 7:05. Oh, fuck that. *1/2. Well, there's no reason to watch this show anymore, but I will anyway. The Edgeheads bring Vickie down, and they all celebrate. Could they have made Chavo look worse? I'm glad Chavo got a push, but this is more like a bump. He hasn't done anything noteable at all. Awful. Awful. Awful. This match was MUCH worse than their others, as well, *1/2. Hopefully they bump this show up to being taped before Smackdown, because I can't see the people staying in the building to watch Chavo freakin' Guerrero. Just my .02. Nothing good can come of this for Punk, because he's not going to be put over Edge in the LEAST. ___________________   Show was BAD, best segment was...Shelton winning the Over the Top Rope Challenge, and the worst was obviously that AWFUL title change. Horrid booking.   I'll have a CYBER SUNDAY review up on Friday. Or not until Saturday or Sunday. Haven't made up my mind.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-21-08, featuring, well, just Smackdown.

First, we have Smackdown. It's from Birmingham, Alabama. I forgot that I don't write about Prime Time or NWA, so this is going to be short. I liked when Heenan gave the camera the finger while naming off the people who won't manage Bam Bam. The rest wasn't so great. ___________________   We flashback to the Rumble last year, where the Undertaker won. Thus, the Undertaker comes down to the ring. He's issuing a warning to the rest of the Rumble participants, that they'll REST IN PEACE. So, here comes Big Daddy V and Matt Striker. Striker talks, so Big Daddy comes to the ring, to fight the Undertaker. V gets beat up, so that's that. ___________________   Tonight, we'll have CM Punk and Rey Mysterio vs. Edge and Chavo Guerrero. But right now, we have Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh.   - Khali always makes me laugh. That good, or bad? Anyway, Hornwoggle hits Singh, so Singh chases Hornswoggle until Finlay gets in the way. I fuckin' hate how WWE goes to commercial at the beginning of a match, now.   - It's too easy for kids to like Finlay, just because of Hornswoggle. Unfortunately, that takes a lot of the edge out of his character. At the end of the match, Hornswoggle interfered so that Finlay could lowblow Khali. Then they beat up Singh, who took Finlay's shillelagh and threw it down the aisle. Khali then holds onto Hornswoggle until Finlay comes close, and applies the HEAD CRUSH on Finlay, getting the submission at 11:03. This was far better than I expected, *3/4.   After the match, Edge and Vickie Guerrero are in the back. She calls Edge a good father figure, as Teddy Long stands there, like an invalid. Why the hell does he just stand there all the time? Chavo comes in, and says he's sorry for calling Edge and Vickie embarassments. He thinks Edge is a good guy. ___________________   Our next match is a tag team contest, it's Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore vs. Deuce and Domino w/Cherry.   - Deuce and Domino had me tuning out during the match, given how generic their offense is. The match finished with a Yang moonsault block, getting the win at 6:38. *1/4.   Finlay and Vince McMahon are in the back, where Finlay apologizes for what he said to Vince on RAW. After, Vince says that Finlay will face Khali next week in a Belfast Brawl. Cole no-sells that, and talks about Batista facing Mark Henry. ___________________   And Batista vs. Mark Henry is on, right now.   - We see footage from Rumble '05, which Batista won. That's all I've ever seen of that show. Cole continually talks about WWE in HD, which I don't care about. At all. Henry and Batista be brawlin', until Batista wins with a spinebuster at 5:00. *, but harmless all the same. ___________________   Next up is MVP's VIP Lounge, an interview segment. His guest is Ric Flair. Flair says that MVP reminds him of himself, but MVP says he's better than that. So Flair chops him, knocking down some of the furniture as a result of MVP falling backwards. That's the segment, which I found entertaining. The interaction between the two was good. ___________________   Michelle McCool faces Layla next. Isn't the women's title on RAW? I know it is, so why is this happening?   - Cole needs to shut up about WWEHD. I'm going to turn this off soon, cause I don't wanna hear it.   - McCool gives Layla an Angel's Wings (Christopher Daniels finishing move), getting the victory at 3:52. 1/2*. I like that move, and so did the crowd.   We get a video for whatever new Diva is soon to debut, and after, Jamie Noble is with McCool backstage. Someone, that being Chuck Palumbo, ordered her roses. Noble says, "are you kidding me!" Chuck argues with him for a bit, and they then agree to get along with each other, as those are McCool's wishes. Don't care. ___________________   Before the match, Vickie wishes Rey luck. So yeah, it's Rey Mysterio and CM Punk vs. Edge and Chavo Guerrero.   - The ECW Title Match between Chavo and Punk is next week. See, I thought so. Punk and Rey do stereo suicide dives onto their opponents, as we go to a commercial.   - Edge/Punk will be great when it happens. That said, the best portions of this match are between Rey and Edge. I like how Punk's shoulder injury played into the match. To explain, he didn't start selling it until it was worked on, so the crowd didn't catch onto an angle occuring later in the night. And then on ECW, it was rammed into the ringpost, so the viewers at home could understand why it was hurt. Good booking. Rey 619's Chavo, so Edge hits Rey in the knee with a chair. **3/4. Punk tries to save Rey, but the Edgeheads come down and beat on he and Rey, to end the show. Edge has got the better of Rey the last two weeks, so Rey should get something over Edge to head into the Royal Rumble. ___________________   Show was decent. Best segment was Edge/Chavo vs. Rey/Punk, and the worst was that stuff with McCool, Noble and Palumbo. This was an entirely FORGETTABLE show. At least Cole stopped talking about WWEHD.
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Review: WWF Royal Rumble 1988, from Hamilton, Ontario, 1/24/1988.

Ok, it's the first Royal Rumble. Oddly enough, I'm going to write a full review, even though this wasn't on PPV. Why? Because it's important, just like all the Clashes and all the Saturday Night Main Events are important. So there. ___________________   The opening graphic is 2 SWEEEEEET. Also, Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura are the commentators.   Our first match, given away by Rude's music having been played all throughout the show's introduction, is Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat.   Blow-by-blow: Don't forget, I have this show. I've seen it a ton. Rude gives Steamboat a few hard shots to the kisser, so Steamboat comes back with a few of his own. Rude tosses Steamboat over the top, much like the participants in a special match later tonight will need to do, but Steamboat SKINS THE CAT back in. Once back in, he backdrops Rude over the top to the floor. Rude comes back in, and we have a TEST OF STRENGTH. Steamboat breaks the knucklelock of Rude, and takes him down, applying an armbar. Steamboat gives Rude an armdrag when shot into the ropes, and reapplies the armbar. Steamboat gives Rude a double chop, and an armdrag. Steamboat elbows Rude's arm, and splashes onto it. Rude gives Steamboat a back elbow after shooting him into the ropes, and attempts to gain control by ramming Steamboat's head into the buckle. Steamboat gives Rude another armdrag, and I've gotta point out, it's been armbars for 8 minutes, now. That's a lot of armbar. Steamboat knees Rude in the shoulder, and Rude comes back with another back elbow. Then he hits Steamboat in the back with a running knee, knocking Steamboat to the floor. He rams Steamboat's back into the ring apron, and slams him. He poses, and suplexes Steamboat back into the ring, getting a 2 count. Now, we go to the chinlock. A chinlock where Steamboat lets his arm fall 3 times, and raises it on the fourth. Yeah, that was a mistake. Steamboat picks Rude up on his shoulders, and drops him to the canvas. That was impressive. He goes for a running splash, but lands on Rude's knees. Rude gouges Steamboat's eyes, and gives him an atomic drop, for 2. Steamboat rams Rude's head into a turnbuckle 10 times, and chops him to the canvas, getting 2 on the pinfall. Rude takes Steamboat down with a headlock, and Steamboat bridges from the pin into a backslide, for 2. Here come the rapid 2 counts that I love. Steamboat rolls Rude up for 2, then tries a jackknife roll-up, getting 2. Rude goes for an inside cradle that gets 2, and Steamboat reverses it, getting 2. Rude gets a clothesline for 2, and tries a suplex. Steamboat blocks it and suplexes Rude, before going to the top. Steamboat goes for a crossbody, but Rude pulls the referee in front of him, to block the maneuver. Rude puts Steamboat in an argentine backbreaker for the submission, as the referee rings the bell at 17:41. HOWEVER, as Rude walks to the back, the announcement is made that STEAMBOAT wins the match by disqualification.   Match Analysis: **, for the torrid pace at the end of the match, which is typical of most Steamboat matches. That said, it was nowhere near the other matches I've seen between the two. ___________________   Gene Okerlund's with Jesse Ventura, as we do the DINO BRAVO BENCHPRESS IN AN ATTEMPT TO BREAK THE WORLD RECORD. Sorry, we're going to fastforward until the end, because the beginning and middle are unimportant. We're at 715 pounds, 10 pounds above the record of 705. Bravo nearly walks off, because of the booing. He comes back and presses the weight, but he needs the assistance of Jesse in order to get it back to the bar. CHEATER. Thankfully, that's that. ___________________   Our next match is the Jumping Bomb Angels vs. The Glamour Girls w/Jimmy Hart in a 2 out of 3 falls match for the Ladies Tag Team Titles. The Glamour Girls are Leilani Kai and Judy Martin.   - Thanks to this idiotic commentary team, we don't find out the Angels names until the second fall. Sure, I've watched them before, but I don't know their names that well. So I have to go this route.   - The Angels do some cool stuff, but not as much as they did in that match on PrimeTime that I rated. I'll link to this...Martin gives one of the Angels an alleyoop, which gets the Glamour Girls fall #1, at 6:11. I'm going strictly off the commentary, which could be wrong.   - Although Vince said the Angels names during the 2nd fall, he never established which was which. Too late anyway. A sunset flip in by one of the Angels gets them the second fall at 8:20. 1-1.   - This match isn't as good as their match from PTW, either. Anyhow, one of the Angels misses a senton, which gives me the thought that a miss of that move must be one of the hardest bumps you can take in that hard ring the WWF used to have. Anyhow, the Angels win the match and the titles with a double dropkick, at 15:21. I used a running time method, even though there were breaks in between falls. **1/2. Here's the link to the other match between these two...   http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/blog/kingo...?showentry=2410 ___________________   We flashback to WrestleMania III, where Andre nearly pinned Hulk Hogan on Hogan's first bodyslam attempt. This is basically a run of clips leading to the Andre/Hogan contract signing for the MAIN EVENT. Ted DiBiase says he's going to buy the title...Hogan needs to make a decision on whether to sell the belt or not...and he says HELL NO. DiBiase still thinks Hogan has a price, and on SNME, Andre attacked Hogan. If Andre wins the title, he says he'll sell it.   And here comes Andre, as we start the contract signing. I think it's weird to see a show this old (and not taking place at the Garden) taking place in a building that's still around. That said, the place was UGLY on the inside. Here comes Hogan, wearing white. DiBiase and Virgil are there, as is Jack Tunney. Andre won't sit down for a while, but eventually, he does. I wish Andre would've slammed Hogan through the table, but after both men sign the contract, he rams Hogan's face into the table and turns the table over, on top of Hogan. Ha. I love Andre's attitude. ___________________   Before the ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH, I noticed that a kid wearing a Hulkster headband is nearly crying. Poor kid. Anyhow, here we are.   Blow-by-blow: The first entrant in the history of the Royal Rumble is...BRET HART. I find that fitting, not meant in a negative way, of course. And second, is TITO SANTANA. Hart works Santana over, and #3 is BUTCH REED. I'm going to say this early, the times between entry are completely random. This isn't every man for himself, it's face vs. heel tactics. And #4 is JIM NEIDHART. The heels work over Santana, and for some reason, they aren't able to throw him out. During that, Bret nearly KILLS Tito with a piledriver. So #5 is JAKE ROBERTS. And boy, does the crowd go nuts. He eliminates Butch Reed from behind, at 5:22. Roberts then tries to DDT Bret, but Neidhart clotheslines him, stopping all that. #6 is HARLEY RACE. I can't really do Jake's psychology justice, in a match like this, it only helps to make the match all the better. I can't say all that much in between entrants unless there are eliminations, so #7 is JIM BRUNZELL, and #8 is SAM HOUSTON. The Harts try to hit Sam, but Anvil hits Bret on accident. The Hart Foundation tosses Tito out, at 10:40. The time between eliminations is long, but to me, it's flying by. #9 is DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS. Davis and Houston brawl, as Roberts has Race on the seesaw. You know, when he'd sit on the second rope and rock back and forth after being hit. #10 is BORIS ZHUKOV, who goes straight for Sam Houston. And #11 is DON MURACO, who's attacked by Nikolai Volkoff in the aisle. But see, Volkoff's not allowed in, and the reason for him having come out is attributed to him not understanding English. Well, Brunzell and Jake dumps Zhukov at 15:16, so Volkoff won't have help from his tag partner. So yeah, #12 is NIKOLAI VOLKOFF. Harley Race gets thrown out by Muraco, at 16:50. #13 is JIM DUGGAN, and as Race is walking to the back, he takes a swing at Duggan, who chases him to the back. #14 is RON BASS, who does nothing. Volkoff throws out Brunzell at 20:50, and #15 is B. BRIAN BLAIR. In a funny sight, Bret's kneepads are at his feet. #16 is HILLBILLY JIM, who backdrops Neidhart over the top at 22:50. #17 is DINO BRAVO, who enters just before Bass tosses Houston out from on top of his shoulders at 24:19. Yeah, Houston was sitting on top of Bass' shoulders. #18 is the ULTIMATE WARRIOR, who enters right before Muraco throws our ironman, Bret Hart, out of the ring at 25:40. #19 is the ONE MAN GANG, who comes right in and tosses Blair out, at 26:56. Then he tosses Jake Roberts out, at 27:10. Our last entrant, at #20, is the JUNKYARD DOG. Duggan gets rid of Volkoff, at 28:18, and quickly after, Gang gets rid of Hillbilly Jim at 28:31. Duggan then gives Davis a three point stance clothesline, knocking him out at 29:06, and then, Bravo and Gang get rid of the ULTIMATE WARRIOR at 29:22. Bass then dumps the JYD at 29:44, and Bass is quickly dumped by Muraco at 29:56. So, they waited until the end to do the rapid-fire eliminations. Our final four is Don Muraco, the One Man Gang, Dino Bravo and Jim Duggan. For some reason, Frenchy Martin gets on the ring apron, and Muraco dropkicks him off. Gang clotheslines Muraco over the top rope at 31:07, so we have a 2 on 1 situation. Gang accidentally eliminates Dino Bravo by charging into him at 32:20, when he meant to charge into Duggan. So we're at 2, and when Gang charges towards Duggan, Duggan ducks and pulls down the top rope, forcing Gang to fly over the top at 33:19. So, Jim Duggan wins the FIRST ROYAL RUMBLE.   Match Analysis: Slower than most Rumbles, probably because the guys hadn't worked in this kind of match before. Anyhow, the lack of star power sorta hurt this one, although you could see that this match was going to be a success from day 1. The crowd loved it. ***1/4. ___________________   Craig DeGeorge is with Hulk Hogan, who rips his shirt off and talks a lot of trash about Andre the Giant. ___________________   So, our last match on the night is the Young Stallions vs. The Islanders, a 2 out of 3 falls match.   Blow-by-blow: Powers and Tama start things off, but Tama doesn't really want to fight, so he ducks under the top rope. Tama comes back to the action and gouges Powers eyes, but Powers comes back with a scoop slam, causing Tama to go to the outside. Bobby Heenan's in Barbados, explaining his absence. Tama wants to shake hands with Powers, but Powers gives him an atomic drop. And then, Vince McMahon calls the bench press stuff boring. So why'd you book it? Powers misses a charge to the corner, so Haku and Roma tag in. Roma gives Haku an armwringer, but Haku gives him a shoulderblock. After, Roma tries to give Haku a hiptoss, but Haku reverses it into an UGLY one of his own, that looked like an armdrag. Roma gives Haku a crossbody for 2, and then he tags in his partner, as they give Haku a double back elbow for 2. Tama tags in, and slams Powers. He misses an elbowdrop, and tags in Haku, who gives Powers a back elbow for 2. Tama goes up top when he tags in, and gives Powers a flying chop. And then, he tags in Haku, and along with Tama, gives Powers a double headbutt. Haku misses a charge to the corner, and they both clothesline each other. The camera shows Tama's feet, and Vince makes this idiotic comment about how his toes are such that he could hang upside down. So naturally, Jesse calls him a racist, and starts talking about how Jimmy the Greek was replaced for a comment like that. Roma and Tama tag in, and Roma gives Tama a clothesline. He follows it up with a dropkick and a backdrop, and he dropkicks Tama again for 2. Tama then tosses Roma over the top, as Haku pulled the top rope down. So Roma's knee is hurt after landing funny, and he gets counted out at 7:53, to end the first fall. The Stallions go back to the dressing room for Roma to get treatment on his knee, so we see...   The Andre/Hogan stuff from earlier. Andre, DiBiase and Virgil are with DeGeorge, and the first two cut a promo on Hogan. Joey Marella (the referee of the current match) and the Islanders are in the ring, shootin' the shit. Funny. DeGeorge interrupts Andre once, so Andre elbows him in the gut. Haha.   The Stallions now come back to the ring, and we begin again. Roma must start the second fall, because he ended the last one. Tama works on Roma's leg and slams him, but eats knees on a splash attempt. Roma makes the tag to Powers, and Powers backdrops Haku for 2. The crowd is, uh, mostly gone. Powers gives Haku a clothesline and elbow for 2, and a dropkick for another 2 count. Powers then gives Haku a suplex for 2, and a back elbow. Powers begins to ram Haku's head into the mat, but that doesn't hurt at all, so Haku hits him in the gut. Tama comes in quickly and headbutts Powers, before tagging out again. When Haku comes in, the Islanders give Powers a double headbutt. Powers cradles Haku for 2, but sure enough, Haku comes right back with a backbreaker, for 2. Tama tags in, and gives Powers a flying back elbow. He then says, "COME ON SUCKA." Heh. Tama gets a snapmare for 2, and tags in Haku. Haku gets a dropkick for 2, and then a gutwrench suplex for 2. He applies an abdominal stretch, but Powers counters with a hiptoss. Haku slams Powers, but misses a rolling senton. Powers tries to tag Roma, but he can't, until Haku misses a dropkick. I don't really know why he tagged in Roma, but Haku and Tama went to town on the poor guy. Tama went up top without tagging in and splashed on his leg, and Haku forced Roma to submit with a half crab at 14:59.   We have a final word from Jesse and Vince, which ends the show.   Match Analysis: The crowd didn't care, but I liked it. Haku went through almost his entire moveset, which was good. **1/4, because it didn't feel like a waste of 15 minutes. ___________________   Rating: Decent. All of the matches were solid, and we had the debut of a new concept match. Unfortunately, there aren't many heavy hitters on this show, so I don't recommend watching this more than once. It gets boring after the first few times, and this time, I was starting to feel bored.   Best Segment: The Royal Rumble. Easy.   Worst Segment: The Dino Bravo World Record Benchpress. I don't think anyone cared.   Loudest Sound: Jake Roberts, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and Ted DiBiase. I guess that's a copout to not name anyone surprising. ___________________   Next will be a Random Thoughts piece, which'll be up on Monday.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-18-08, featuring the MNW from 5/19/97, the first Monday Nitro, and the shorties section.

At first I was going to watch the first Nitro, but instead, I watched the MNW program. And first up is Nitro, from Asheville, North Carolina. ___________________   Last night was Slamboree. Don't forget that.   Gene Okerlund's in the aisle, as Ric Flair's coming out for an interview. MEANNNNNN Gene. It's the usual, until Syxx joins us. He knows he can take Flair, and he wants to do it tonight. Flair accepts, and Syxx pretty much slaps him. So, Flair chases Syxx, until Syxx runs to the back. Flair/Syxx sounds good, but so does every other main event featuring an NWO guy. And they all end the same, too. ___________________   So, our first match is Prince Iaukea vs. Steven Regal for the TV Title. Regal won this title at Slamboree, from the Ultimo Dragon.   - It's not Lord Steven Regal anymore, it's simply, Steven Regal. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know yet) this show is only one hour long. Iaukea's offense consists of roll-ups which only get a 2 count. Regal's really stiff throughout, which is nice.   - Regal gives Iaukea a REVERSE SUPLEX, and then, Iaukea submits to the REGAL STRETCH at 2:26. *1/2. Iaukea is shit, so his matches need to stay short. ___________________   At Slamboree, Glacier was beaten up by Wrath and Mortis, until Ernest Miller ran in and saved him. HAHAHA. That's just great.   The next match has absolutely nothing to do with what they showed prior to this, given that Masa Chono is facing David Taylor.   - Mike Tenay's on commentary for this contest, and he says that there's going to be the debut of a huge star in Vegas. He got that one right. He also says that NWO t-shirts are huge in Japan. I have no idea as to whether or not that's true.   - Chono doesn't sell, you know. He wins with the STF at 2:58. 3/4*, Taylor got absolutely NOTHING. ___________________   Mean Gene's with Sonny Onoo, who says that Chono has a debt to pay next week. He says that Chono's worst nightmare will be there. Does that mean....THE GREAT MUTA? Ok, I'll spoil it.     JJ Dillon then says that Nick Patrick is reinstated. Ok, that's fine with me. ___________________   Speaking of Nick Patrick, he's officiating this match between Michael Wallstreet and AMERICAN MALE, Scotty Riggs.   - Wallstreet's wearing a shirt with an emblem picturing the letters, WCW, inside of a red circle, with a slash through it. Like, you know, a no-smoking sign. Anyhow, he's wearing it because he's not allowed to be in the NWO as per the terms of his contract, and he hates WCW.   - Patrick continually argues with Wallstreet. Continually. Wallstreet takes a foreign object out of his pants and tries to hit Riggs with it, but Patrick takes the object away. Riggs comes off the top rope with a sunset flip, but Wallstreet holds onto the top rope, trying to steal the victory. Patrick kicks Wallstreet's hand off the rope, and Riggs gets the 3 count at 2:49. That was so convoluted and ridiculous that I have to DUD it. ___________________   Gene's talking to Mark Martin for some dumb reason, probably because Valvoline was one of their sponsors. Yeah, I'm sure that's why. He likes WCW and all, and Valvoline is giving away one of his racecars. Ok, then. Ric Flair was with him, and he talked a little bit of trash about Syxx.   Next we go On the Road with Lee Marshall to Nashville. FF.   Last night at Slamboree, DDP tried to attack Randy Savage with a crutch. Savage ran away, so that his buddies in the New World Order would be able to help him out. Well, he ran in and got clobbered by Page. Buff Bagwell and Vincent tried to give Savage support, but they were beaten on as well. Scott Norton though, he stopped the whole thing. The NWO beat DDP up for a bit, until THE GIANT made the save for Page. ___________________   We have our token tag team match, as Mongo and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra are going to face the Steiner Brothers.   - Mongo's briefcase is all dented up. Can't he afford a new one?   - This is the last time I'll talk about Scott Steiner being roided up, but he reminds me of one of those pump up toys where you pump the toy and its muscles just get bigger and bigger.   - Scott gives Jarrett this insane samoan drop from up top. It looked so much better than Mortis' version. The crowd starts chanting "Reggie, Reggie." No, no. A t-bone suplex by Rick Steiner causes Mongo's foot to hit the camera at ringside.   - Debra gets on the ring apron to distract the official, but Mongo gets knocked down while holding the BRIEFCASE. Jarrett picks it up and thinks about hitting Mongo with it because of what happened at Slamboree. If you don't know, I'll tell you. Jarrett was facing Dean Malenko for the US Title, and Debra was at ringside with him. At the end of the match Jarrett was on the floor, and for some reason, Mongo threw him into the ring, and took Debra backstage with him. I think that's it, I haven't watched Slamboree '97 in a long time, and I have no desire to do it again. Anyhow, Kevin Greene runs down the aisle, takes the briefcase from Jarrett and hits Mongo with it, giving Rick Steiner the pinfall over Mongo at 3:35. *. After the bout, Mongo runs to the back, and has a pull-apart brawl with Greene. This happened during the commercial break, but we saw it when they came back.   Next week's show is two hours. Yay! ___________________   Our main event is up next, and just as was said by our announce team of Tony, Brain and Larry, it's Syxx (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. Ric Flair in an obvious non-title affair.   - Syxx's gear says "thug" on the front of it. That made me laugh for some reason. Flair beats on Syxx for about 40 seconds of the :58 this match lasts, until Scott Hall and Kevin Nash make their first appearance on the night. They fucked Flair up, yo. Nash grabs a mic, and Piper better be strapped, cause they're comin' for him next. Wolfpac is 4 LIFE and NWO is 2 SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET. Obviously this is not rateable, and I'm not rating anymore of the 1 or 2 minute long matches prior to an NWO run-in. And boy, there are going to be a lot of them. ___________________   Here comes an NWO member...oh, it's just Eric Bischoff. Of course, he has a microphone. He talks a bunch of trash about Sting, and says that Sting needs to give up his chase of Hollywood. He says he'd slap Sting if Sting was in this ring. So, naturally...   IT'S STING   Yeah, he comes out through the ring, meaning from under, busting a hole in the ring, and gives Bisch a SCORPION DEATHDROP. End show. ___________________   This wasn't so hot. Rating is poor, the best segment was at the beginning when Syxx slapped Flair, and the worst was that Nick Patrick crap. I hated it, but the crowd loved it. ___________________   It's MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Mobile, Alabama. Wait a minute, wasn't RAW from Mobile this Monday? Talk about a coincidence. ___________________   To open the show, we have exclusive footage of what happened once the show went off the air last week. Yeah, it was Bret Hart running Shawn Michaels into the ground, verbally speaking. Anyway, Shawn gave Bret SWEET CHIN MUSIC at the end of all that. The rest of the Hart Foundation chases Shawn to the stage, where they beat him up. Bulldog picks up Shawn to press slam him off the stage, but STONE COLD makes the save. He hits Bulldog in the back with a crutch, and both he and Michaels hold off the Harts.   Now, for the real beginning of the show. Austin gets a gigantic pop, this being the South, and all. Huge change from previous weeks, where he wasn't getting anything in the Midwest. He's going to talk to JR, I suppose. He doesn't care about Shawn, he just wanted to get at the Hart Foundation. Well, Shawn comes down to the ring, and says that he wanted to do the same. They share a common bond, you see. Austin wants Shawn to take his ass backstage. And now, they brawl. It was nice to see a good opening to the show, and not mindless blabbering. Officials pull them apart, and then, Owen Hart begins to say something on the TitanTron. He challenges both Shawn and Austin to a match next week, for Bulldog and Owen's tag titles. Hell yeah, son. Shawn wants to do so, but not with Austin. And Austin doesn't want Shawn as his partner, so they fight again. ___________________   JR and King are on commentary again, which is good. No Vader vs. Crush tonight, because Vader's unable to compete, as a result of having his nose busted up by Ken Shamrock. Instead, our King of the Ring First Round match will be between Crush w/the Nation and Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna.   - As far as why HHH is allowed back in, it's because he wasn't briefed properly by the official last week, as Gerald Brisco says. HHH is back in because the WWF doesn't want him to take legal action. Well played.   - Heel vs. heel is never good. This is not an exception. HHH sends Chyna in the ring with the referee distracted, but the referee catches onto the charade. So now he's distracted by Chyna, and Savio Vega jumps on the apron. He tries to kick HHH, but kicks Crush on accident, giving HHH the pinfall at 3:56. *1/4. Savio and Crush push each other, so Faarooq comes to the ring to break that up. TEASING DISSENSION. ___________________   Our next match is Bob Holly vs. Owen Hart (WWF Intercontinental Champion) w/Jim Neidhart and the British Bulldog, in a non-title match.   - Holly's from Alabama, so he's a little over, for once. Seeing as this is a non-title match, something's up. Something always has to be up. King interviewed two hicks earlier in the day, in a clip that was shown before the match...really wasn't that funny. Owen's friends left ringside, instead, they're standing at the stage.   - I liked this one very much, unfortunately, it was short. Owen went for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Holly grabbed him by the hair and cradled him, for the 3 count at 3:38. **, like I said, something was up. Anyhow, Owen's buddies try to attack Holly, but he runs away. This is how all 4 minute matches should be, all out. ___________________   We flashback to that Paul Bearer stuff last week, in which he said he'd reveal a secret if Taker didn't came back under his wing. After, HBK's with Ken Shamrock. See, that's who he wants to be his partner. Ha.   Mankind has the first part of his interviews with Jim Ross. I can't quite do it justice, so watch it. I'd link to them on youtube, but they're not there. Only one is, I think, and that's not good enough. This one mostly talks about pain and being picked on. ___________________   So, to follow that, we get this great match between Leif Cassidy and Scott Taylor.   - King talks about RVD before the match, seeing as he was on Raw last week. He puts down ECW a bunch, and the match begins with a Snow pescado.   - Taylor nearly botches a springboard crossbody to the outside, and later, Cassidy gives Taylor a really hard spinebuster. Anyhow, Taylor cradles Cassidy on a front suplex reversal, giving him the pinfall. I didn't time it, because I was surprised at the quick start of the match. 3/4*, nearly botched spots in a match that short are a no-no. After the match, Cassidy jumps up in JR's face and starts screaming at him, like a maniac. I like this angle. He did this last week when losing, too. ___________________   Sable's in the back, and hey, Austin walked in on her while she was changing. See, Austin wants her to be his tag team partner. Obviously, she won't do it. On that note, we go to   THE WARZONE   So, the Hart Foundation come to the ring, as Vince McMahon joins us for commentary during Hour 2. Boo. Bret starts talking, and the first thing I noticed is that he's getting better at this. Good thing. His surprise is that he'll be back at King of the Ring, and he wants to challenge Shawn Michaels to a match. We know why this didn't happen, but we'll go through it anyway. He says, if he can't beat Shawn in 10 minutes, he'll never wrestle in the US again. Shawn appears on the TitanTron, and tears into Bret. First he says that each of Bret's stablemates have to be handcuffed to the ringposts in order to get him to take the match. Now it gets good. We get the Sunny Days comment from Shawn, after Shawn claims Bret couldn't last 10 minutes in any situation. Day-um. Bret doesn't really say anything to counter that, ending the segment. He got owned, but that said, it's always better to take the high road. ___________________   Our next match is Goldust vs. Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man.   - Before the bout, Goldust asks who would like to see Marlena. The people say yeah, and he says, he can do better. He'll bring out two Marlena's, his wife, and his daughter. It was funny to see his daughter run around the ring, and this was done, obviously, because of those interviews he's had in weeks previous talking about himself. Whoever (probably Russo) decided to have in-depth, multi part interviews with the wrestlers did a really, really smart thing. It helped character development immensely. If in fact that was Russo's idea, I'll have to give him his due, for that, anyway.   - At the end of the bout, Honky tries to hit Goldust with his guitar. Goldust takes it away, and breaks it over Honky's head, at 4:05. Why the time, you say? Because some genius decided that hitting a wrestler's manager is worth a disqualification. Minor nitpick, *1/4. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson is in the back, he thinks Faarooq was right last week when he was talking about the lack of a black WWF Champion. He's no racist, though, and he says he'll be the first black WWF Champion, not Faarooq.   Stone Cold is with Harvey Wippleman, and he wants Harvey to be his tag partner. The Brooklyn Brawler comes into the picture, wanting to be Austin's partner. Austin kicks his ass, and says that Harvey has no choice. He'll be Austin's partner. ___________________   Rocky Maivia faces Faarooq next, and Faarooq is accompanied by the Nation.   - PG-13 are gone. See ya. They didn't come out with the Nation tonight. Faarooq wants Rocky to join the Nation. Rocky tells him to shove it.   - These short matches are going to become increasingly more frequent, from what I remember. The DOMINATOR finished the bout at 2:49. *. No attack on Rocky, as the Nation just leaves.   We go to the back, as there's commotion. Well, the Harts are beating on Bob Holly. That's why you must job, son.   Following that, THE UNDERTAKER comes to the ring for an interview with Vince. He says that playing the race card was a bad decision for Faarooq. He also says he's neither black or white, but the REAPER OF WAYWARD SOULS. Man, I was HOWLIN' at that. Paul Bearer appears on the TitanTron, and wants to let the secret out. Taker says he needs more time to think about his proposition, that being that Bearer wants to manage Taker again. Taker has SEVEN days. ___________________   Our main event is Jim Neidhart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin w/a crutch.   - The Harts come down to ringside early, and Pillman goes on guest commentary. He says that paybacks are a bitch, meaning for Austin. Austin attacks Pillman on the outside, and when Pillman gets up, he runs in and hits Austin with a crutch, at 1:50. No rating. Shawn comes to the ring with a chair, and cleans house. Safe, unprotected chair shots. He didn't go to town like most would. JR grabs a microphone, and tells both Austin and HBK that Gorilla Monsoon has stated that they MUST team up against Owen and Bulldog next week. You know how I said I write full match reviews for stuff of importance? This is definitely of fuckin' importance. And to end the show, Austin and HBK fight. ___________________   Good way to end a poor in-ring show. The show still gets a rating of good, with the best segment being Shawn's burial of Bret, and the worst being uh, HHH's reentry into the King of the Ring. This is a historic show for so many reasons. I think we all know about Shawn and Bret fighting after that Sunny Days comment, so yeah. I don't really need to go into detail, do I? RAW wins this week, because, well, their show was longer. ___________________   Now, the first Nitro, from the Mall of American in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm not giving anything the full review here, cause this column is running long as it is. Secondly, nothing's that important except for Flair/Sting, and there are far better matches between them. While I started watching WCW around this time, I've never watched this show. I have, however, seen Fall Brawl 1995. But I was 7 and that was a long time ago. ___________________   A few words from Eric Bischoff (now, actually, when this channel first started running the MNW) open the show. Enjoy. He, Mongo and Bobby Heenan are on commentary.   The first match on the show, as we all know, is Jushin Lyger vs. Flyin' Brian. At least I think everyone knows that.   - Sounds good to me. Pillman botches a hurricanrana, bad enough that it gets a small mention. "He barely even got him with that one!" Mongo sucks on commentary. Boy, he sucks.   - Pillman didn't really carry his share of the load in the match. I'm just being honest. Anyway, Lyger picks him up for a german suplex, and Pillman frontflips forward, grabbing Lyger's legs victory roll style, picking up the win at 6:52. **1/4. Sorta disappointing. ___________________   After the bout, Sting cuts a promo on Ric Flair. After, Bobby Heenan talks about the Monday Night War. Obviously, this was added in, and didn't occur back then.   Bischoff is with Hulk Hogan brother, Pastamania at the Mall of America's runnin' wild, brother, what's Bubba Rogers gonna do, brother, Pastamaniacs brother gonna run wild on Bubba, brother. ___________________   And here we go, it's Ric Flair vs. Sting for the US Title.   - And while it's not as good as some of their other matches, boy, it's a fun one. Sting's wearing BRIGHT pink, and hey, WHO THE HELL IS THAT? It's LEX LUGER, GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Bischoff nearly ruined that segment with his "shock and awe." He just sounded so...fake. Flair and Sting stopped to stare, as this happened prior to their match.   - Sting knocks Flair around, until Flair crossbodies Sting, which sends both out of the ring. That was pretty funny. During the "commercial break," Arn Anderson talked about WCW. Of course this was inserted in.   - Sting's done four gorilla press slams thus far. FOUR! Arn came down to ringside, at about 5:35. Sting does a superplex later, and Bischoff overreacts, similar to how Michael Cole does. You know, "he tossed him out of the ring, that's a THIRTY FOOT fall, Tazz." Like that. Flair slaps on the FIGURE-FOUR, and Sting makes it to the ropes. HOWEVER, Flair doesn't release the hold, and gets disqualified at 8:42 (shown). Arn comes into the ring, and both he and Flair fight to the back. They had a match signed for Fall Brawl, remember? A very fun *** match.   After the Flair/Arn fight, Scott Norton comes to ringside. He argues with Mongo, until Randy Savage comes out. He wants to fight Norton right now, but later, we find out that this match will occur next week. ___________________   Back from the break, we have a Sabu video onscreen. Good one. Mean Gene says that some guy won a Harley Davidson. Ok. And on WCW Saturday Night, Johnny B. Badd will be facing Dick Slater, and the Blue Bloods will face Sting and Randy Savage. Sounds good to me.   Last of all that, we get a Mr. Wallstreet promo. YES! He didn't want any part of the New Generation, so he's in WCW, where the big boys play. ___________________   The main event on this show is Big Bubba Rogers vs. Hulk Hogan w/Jimmy Hart for the WCW Heavyweight Title.   - Heenan mentions that Rogers was a prison guard. Good thing he didn't take the conversation further than that, cause I thought WCW wasn't allowed to mention him being the Big Bossman, or anything resembling it. Heenan also tells us of his conversation with Kevin Sullivan, where Sullivan says that Hogan will never understand what's going to happen to him. I'll see where this is headed at the end of the match.   - A guy in the front row has a Hogan Sucks sign, but this cop comes over, and he quits raising it up for the whole world to see. Rogers takes Jimmy Hart's jacket away, so Hogan begins to choke Rogers with it. I've gotta mention, the crowd is, um, not with Hogan's whole act here. To describe their reaction as mild is probably an overstatement. After the Bossman Slam, Hogan goes into the routine, to little reaction. Hulk-up, 1, 2, BIG BOOT, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG for 3 at 7:08. *1/4, at least it was short and inoffensive.   After the match, here comes the DUNGEON. Oh my God. Honestly, my first reaction when seeing Leslie dressed as the Zodiac was, "what the FUCK." Kamala, Sullivan, the ZODIAC, Meng and the Shark were the ones I noticed. I think that was all of them. Anyhow, LEX LUGER came to the ring and saved Hogan. They nearly fight, so Sting and Savage run in to pull them away from each other. Then there's a "commercial," where Gene Okerlund talks about the MNW. He runs down for the interview on Nitro, and Hogan says, Luger doesn't have to prove anything to him, so he'll face him next week on Nitro. And that's the end of the show. ___________________   Good debut show. That's my rating. The best segment was Sting/Flair with the Arn/Flair brawl, and the worst was that Dungeon of Doom shit. Man, that was terrible. The Zodiac walked down the aisle so damn funny. Well, watching this, I can see why they competed with the WWF. Their offering was better than what the WWF was doing at the time on Raw. There isn't much of a contest, unfortunately, they couldn't keep doing this. It wasn't possible to give away matches like this for free, I mean, Luger vs. Hogan in their first meeting, on Nitro? Looking back, it's not the best move for business, even if extremely enjoyable. ___________________   Lastly, we have the Shorties Section, featuring 7 great debuts. I watched them in chronological order, and the first one was...Justin Hawk Bradshaw w/Dutch Mantel Uncle Zebakiah vs. Hakushi from 3/4/96. Note, all of the debutees(?) are listed first.   - In regards to these shorties, my thoughts aren't necessarily on the match. It's basically a reflective thing.   - I noticed people were complaining about JBL's flab a few weeks ago. When he was younger, there was more. Much more. Roddy Piper's on the phone, he's mainly talking about Goldust and the Ultimate Warrior. My, how things have changed.   - This match was basically a squash, and the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL finishes the match at 4:11. Well, while some things change, others stay the same. He then hogties Hakushi, and Uncle Zeb brands him with a branding iron. *1/2. ___________________   Our next one is Stone Cold Steve Austin's debut, against Savio Vega from 3/11/96. Ted DiBiase is Austin's manager.   - I guess Austin's time as the Ringmaster doesn't count. Austin's wearing white boots from his time as part of the Hollywood Blondes, in case you've watched this and didn't notice. They're laced differently, but me, I notice stuff like that. There's a black star on them, so, I figured it out. Also, Mark Henry's at ringside.   - Austin's style is far different than that which most people remember. Far more wrestling than brawling, here. This match ends with a double countout at 6:10 (shown). **...both men brawl after, which sets up their match at WrestleMania XII. Vega gets the best of the post-match scuffle. ___________________   Third up, is FAAROOQ ASAD w/Sunny vs. Skip from 8/12/96.   - Faarooq's outfit....goodness. I've heard a lot about it, but my mind blocked out what it actually looked like. The helmet?   - It's pretty funny to see Sunny cheering on Faarooq while he kicks her boyfriend's ass. Jake Roberts is facing Jerry Lawler at SummerSlam 1996, remember. The DOMINATOR finishes at 4:31. There was an audible "ooh" from the crowd when Faarooq did that. I thought Faarooq would have the Hercules face theme. Guess not. *3/4, just a squash, but awfully entertaining. ___________________   Chris Jericho's debut was on RAW, when he interrupted the Rock. Because the MNW will eventually roll around to this point, I'm not going to cover it. I found it funny that he "came to save the WWF," and he re-debuted a few months ago claiming the exact same thing. Am I the only one who noticed that? So, after this great debut...why exactly did he start wrestling in the midcard against guys like Road Dogg, Ken Shamrock and X-Pac? Cause he didn't work WWE style? ___________________   Eric Bischoff's debut is up now. Well, it was pretty much the most surprising thing I've ever seen happen in Vince's promotion. They didn't add Booker's reaction to this, which means I don't really wanna watch it. I did, though, and it's boring, outside of the original shock factor. Don't rewatch this. When it happened it was the craziest shit ever. Oh yeah, I didn't even say what happened. Bischoff became RAW GM. Hopefully you knew that. ___________________   Dave Batista faced Justin Credible on 11/4/02.   - Credible's look is real funny. Also, Batista looks to be far more mobile in this clip. He destroys Credible, and finishes with the sitout powerbomb at 1:25. *. This was fine. ___________________   Remember how Goldberg debuted on Rock Appreciation Night?   - Well, I do. Rock's talking about retirement, which brings me to another topic. Why do all these idiots act like the Rock owes WWE and the fans something? Sure, I'd like for him to come back for a night, but he doesn't owe us shit. I hate reading people's comments about how ungrateful he is. Grow up. Whew, now I feel better.   - Rock said he's beaten everyone, so Goldberg comes out. You wanna know who's next, well, YOU'RE NEXT. Spear, and that's that. WWE fucked Goldberg's run up so bad, but in truth, I don't think it would've been a success anyway. He was 4 years removed from his peak, and once you go away, it's hard to regain the fan support you had before. It's not like he stayed active on television like Austin and Hogan do. Sure, they fucked Goldberg up, but you have to enter the new fan into the equation. You can't push people solely on old success in different promotions, because there are going to be people out there who don't care about that, and don't want to care about that. They're worried about right now. The roster (as a result of the brand extension) was too thin to have him squashing people all the time, so, we got what we got. ___________________   The last debut, was Mickie James' debut. She teamed up with Ashley and Trish to take on Torrie Wilson, Victoria, and Candice Michelle. This is from 10/17/05.   - This should be short. What's up with Victoria being dressed like white trash? Anyhow, she cradles Mickie at 1:47 for the win. *. Mickie does Trish's finisher to Victoria in an attempt to impress Trish, and that's it. I think we know where this goes, to the lesbian thing. ___________________   Wow, that was a long column. Anyway, that's it. Next, I'll review Royal Rumble '88, and after, I'll review Smackdown, PTW and the NWA weekly offering. The Lakers play on Monday, so I'm going to watch the 10:00 hour of RAW first, and then the 9:00 hour second, when I find RAW on dailymotion or something. So basically, in reverse. It's the only way.
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Review: WWE Monday Night RAW, from San Antonio, Texas, 12/29/03.

This RAW is famous for one thing. HHH/HBK. That's all you need to know. I was mad that the RAW from 1993 with Razor/Kid on it didn't win the PYBO, but it's ok. ___________________   At the beginning of the show, we flashback to Orton/Foley, two weeks ago. Hey, I remember this. Things like that are what pushed me away from RAW. Foley wouldn't fight, see. You can call me a mark or whatever, but I just had it at that point. I knew they were building to something more, but I didn't have the patience. ___________________   Now that the show itself has started, Randy Orton comes out, to Mick Foley's music. He says Foley's not just a coward, but a smart coward. Great scripting, guys. He wants to be announced as the winner of their "match," and Lillian Garcia does that. He's now the Hardcore Legend. For some unexplained reason, Booker T comes out. Complete nonsense booking. He wants to face Orton for the Intercontinental Title. Ok. However, Mark Henry attacks him. Orton then runs to the stage, and accepts Booker's challenge.   Backstage, Eric Bischoff tells Mark Henry that he's just as worried as he is. Teddy Long then says he wants to collect on his favor from Survivor Series, tonight. Bischoff says he can do it next week. And Long will, belee dat. ___________________   The first match on the night is Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner.   - Sorry, I don't have the tolerance to write full match reviews for anything other than PPV's or matches that I deem to be of importance posted on 24/7. Besides, I cover the angles in-depth, and now that I've started writing about the current product, something has to take a hit. I said I would do full reviews of the MNW, but I can't. This fits into that category. Besides, I don't think it's a big deal. The way I do these is thorough enough that you can get the full picture without a full match description, because if any angle happens throughout, I'll write about it. It's easier to read, too.   - This was about a million times better than I thought it would be, which was a surprise given that Steiner was a useless piece of shit by this point. Given that RVD gave his best effort, this was a fun contest. No surprises though, it ends with the 5 STAR FROG SPLASH at 6:07. *3/4. Steiner's choking was tiresome, though. ___________________   During the broadcast, seeing as it's from San Antonio, there will be HBK Moments. You know, because San Antonio is Shawn's hometown, and he's facing HHH tonight. The first moment is his title win over Sid at Royal Rumble 1997, which just so happened to occur in San Antonio.   The WWE Rewind was from 2 weeks ago, when Chris Jericho and Christian got into a scuffle. And now, they're arguing. Christian's mad that he got ditched for a girl. It'll all be ok, kid.   Now Jonathan Coachman is at WWE Headquarters, for the boardroom meeting to decide on Steve Austin's future. Vince McMahon is going to be the one to argue against Austin, and someone else will argue in favor of him. ___________________   Before their match against two jobbers with Ric Flair as the special guest referee, Bubba Ray Dudley's in the back with D-Von, and Bubba thinks that Foley just may be a coward. Harsh.   So yeah, the Dudleys are facing two jobbers with Ric Flair as the special guest referee.   - It's a beatdown. Flair tells Bubba not to punch with a closed fist, but he does anyway. So Flair disqualifies both of them at 1:49. I thought that was funny. *. Bubba knocks down Flair, so his tag team partner Batista comes down and beats on both Dudleys. Since, you know, Batista and Flair are the World Tag Team Champions. Anyway, Flair looks so much younger than he does now. It's disturbing, cause it looks like Flair's aged 10 years in the last 4. ___________________   And we have another HBK Moment, this time, from SummerSlam 2002. Obviously it's from HHH/HBK, which is one of my favorite matches. It has really obvious flaws, though.   Eric Bischoff is with all the referees, and he says he wants them to be tough, just like Flair.   After, Coach shows up again, and Vince says he needs to look to the future, in an explanation of why he argued against Austin. Boy, does that statement ring true even today. His whole speech says a lot about what's wrong with the company now, and back then even more so. Progress has been made since 2003.   Lastly, Terri is interviewing 3 of the Divas involved in the 6-woman tag later. Trish, Lita, and Stacy, FWIW. She talks with them until STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD drives into the picture. I think I just found a new phrase. ___________________   It's time for the Intercontinental Championship match, between Booker T and the champion, Randy Orton.   - This was fine, but like I've said before, I don't understand the need for a chinlock in a 6 minute match. Both guys should've went all out.   - At the end of the bout, Kane comes to the ring for some reason. Booker's distracted by that, so Orton gives him an RKO, which gets him the pinfall at 5:58. So Orton retains his title, *1/2. After the match, Kane gives Booker a chokeslam. Why, exactly. On the surface, this makes no sense, but they probably had a match a few weeks later in which Booker was squashed. ___________________   The last HBK Moment is from Survivor Series 2002. I have no problem admitting that I marked when HBK won the Elimination Chamber match.   Coach is with Linda McMahon, who argued in favor of Austin. Blah blah blah.   Chris Jericho finds Trish Stratus, and gives her a Christmas present. To be nice, I'll say that this is some of the worst acting I've ever seen. She's all sad and stuff. Leave acting to actors. Leave wrestling to the wrestlers. Why is it so hard for WWE to understand this?   Austin's in the back, waiting for the phone call. He gets a call, but it's un-important. ___________________   Finally, we get our Happy Holidays Match. It's Trish, Stacy Keibler and Lita vs. Victoria, Molly Holly (Women's Champion) and Miss Jackie.   - Happy Holidays is basically saying that they're all wearing holiday themed stuff.   - This match is sort of a pile of shit, which is given with Jackie involved, and it ends when Trish gives Molly STRATUSFACTION, at 3:24. After the match, Victoria helps Molly up, but hits her with the title belt. That makes sense, cause Victoria is supposed to be crazy. ___________________   Austin is back again, and he gets the phone call he was waiting for. Well, he doesn't want to be co-GM, so he leaves. ___________________   Here we go, the match I've been waiting for. Shawn Michaels vs. HHH w/Ric Flair for the World Heavyweight Championship.   Blow-by-blow: They lock-up at the start, until HHH takes control with a hammerlock. Shawn reverses the hold, and gives HHH a headlock. HHH rolls HBK up for two, but Shawn still has the headlock applied. HHH shoots him into the ropes, where Shawn gives him a shoulderblock. Shawn runs the ropes again, but HHH gives him a back elbow. HHH goes to toss Shawn out, but Shawn SKINS THE CAT, and headscissors HHH to the floor. Shawn then punches Ric Flair, and lands on both Flair and HHH with a springboard crossbody. Both men come back in the ring, where HHH grabs onto a wristlock. Shawn reverses, and charges into him with his shoulder; afterwards, he takes HHH down to the canvas. He gives HHH an armbar, and when HHH tries to give Shawn a hiptoss, Shawn reverses it into an armdrag. HHH straddles the 2nd rope in an attempt to get Shawn to break the hold, but Shawn kicks the rope, causing HHH's nuts to feel some pain. Shawn gives HHH another armdrag, but HHH quickly gets back up, and takes Shawn to the corner. In the corner, HHH charges into Shawn, and they begin to trade blows. Shawn tosses HHH over the top rope after getting the better of the slugfest, and he follows HHH to the outside. Shawn chops him a few times, and sends him back in, where he applies a sleeper. HHH tries a back suplex, but Shawn flips over him and rolls him up for 2. HHH takes Shawn down with a headlock, but Shawn bridges out of the pinning hold to a backslide for 2. HHH rams Shawn into the turnbuckle, but misses a charge, so when Shawn charges at him, he backdrops Shawn over the top rope.   COMMERCIAL BREAK   We're back, as HHH is bringing Shawn back into the ring. He chokes Shawn with his boot, and gives Shawn a backbreaker, which gets a 2 count. Everything done in this match has been simple. And yet it's one of the best matches in the history of RAW. HHH gives Shawn two elbowdrops to the back, and punches him a bit, for a 2 count. Shawn tries to come back, but HHH tosses him out of the ring. He tosses Shawn's into the steps, and the announcers talk about how Shawn's shoulder looks to be separated. I'm no doctor, so I can't say. Shawn tries a sunset flip on the inside and gets 2, but HHH comes back with two clotheslines for a 2 count. HHH puts Shawn in an abdominal stretch, and uses leverage from Ric Flair in order to cheat. He grabbed onto Flair's hand, see. The referee stops him when he sees it, and Shawn gives HHH a hiptoss. Shawn chops away at HHH, but HHH comes back with the leaping KNEE TO FACE. That gets a 2 count, but see, HHH hurt his knee. HHH tries a backbreaker, but Shawn reverses it into a kneebreaker. Then he applies a FIGURE-FOUR leglock, which makes the crowd go apeshit. The referee is distracted by HHH, though, so Flair gouges HBK's eyes. HHH dumps Shawn to the outside, but Shawn comes back in quickly, and up to the top rope. Shawn misses with a double axhandle, and HHH tries for the PEDIGREE. Shawn reverses it into a backdrop, thankfully for him. Shawn gives HHH a shoulderblock, and falls to the canvas exhaustedly, headbutting HHH in the nuts. After a bit of rest, HHH gets up, and is given an inverted atomic drop. And another one. Shawn gives HHH the flying forearm, and he KIPS UP. I love when the crowd and the announce team go nuts for that. Shawn goes up top, for the FLYING ELBOWDROP. Shawn then TUNES UP THE BAND, but Flair gets on the ring apron. So Shawn knocks him down, while HHH hits the referee. Ha. HHH blocks SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and gives Shawn a DDT. Flair gives HHH hit title belt, and he hits Shawn in the face with it, only getting a 2 count. HHH goes for the PEDIGREE, but it's blocked by Shawn. HHH kicks Shawn into the referee, so he's down again. Bischoff comes to the ring in an attempt to revive the referee, while HHH takes a turnbuckle pad off. Shawn rams HHH into an exposed turnbuckle, and BISCHOFF makes the count, which only gets 2. HHH is bleeding, as Shawn tries a 10 punch in the corner. HHH puts him down, but Shawn gets a right for 2. HHH gives Shawn the KNEE TO FACE-BUSTER, for a 2 count. He goes up to the 2nd rope, but eats Shawn's boot on the way down. Shawn is sent upside down at the exposed turnbuckle, but comes down and gives HHH SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for 3 at 29:12, 26:13 of which was shown.   But wait, HHH is still the champion, because...Shawn's shoulders were down during the pin attempt. I nearly forgot why, for some reason. Ric Flair tries to attack Shawn, but he's given SWEET CHIN MUSIC. And Shawn punches Bischoff, for daring to say that he's not the new champion. Shawn walks backstage, and Bischoff fires him. When I first saw this (I flipped channels, came across it about a minute in, and stuck around), I thought this was a sure town-killing finish. UNTIL   STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD makes his way to the ring, says that he's back, and that Shawn is rehired. He also says there's going to be a rematch (which wasn't up to par) and he gives Bischoff a STONE COLD STUNNER, to end the show.   Match Analysis: This was easily the RAW MOTY for 2003. That Smackdown MOTY was obviously Angle/Benoit from the Rumble, which was just a little better than this. Seeing as this wasn't as good, I'll go one mark lower and call it ****1/2. If you have a problem with that, it's probably because you have a different rating scale. Matches from any of the large promotions in this country are obviously rated on a different scale then those from say, Japan. At least for me. I have no problem throwing out snowflakes if the match is deserving. This certainly was. If I worked for the WWE as a trainer, I'd have this match shown to all my trainees. It's so simple, and so well done. I suppose it would've been fine to have Shawn go over, but HHH just won the damn belt two weeks before. If only we could see something like this on TV now. Oh well. ___________________   Rating: Great. Just because of that one match.   Best Segment: HHH/HBK.   Worst Segment: All the boardroom stuff. Who cares, you know they won't get rid of Austin.   Loudest Sound: HBK, Austin, Ric Flair as referee, and HHH. No surprises. ___________________   I already said what I'm putting up next. BTW, the MNW will be on that, too. It'll probably be...the first Nitro, RAW and Nitro from 5/19/97, and the shorties section. I think that'll do.
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Review: The first RAW, and other stuff. Yeah, boy.

First, we have RAW. I was watching the Laker game, so I tuned in at 9:48. I flipped over and saw HBK giving Trevor Murdoch SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and I know there was some Diva crap before that. There was some stuff with Orton and Hardy too, and they have an Intercontinental Title match later. Now, we begin. Again, this is an exact copy of my great notes.   The colors are to let you know that I'm talking about a different program. ___________________   When I tuned in, the first thing on was HHH vs. Snitsky. Boy oh boy.   - Snitsky is one ugly motherfucker. Not only that, but he makes these strange sounds while on offense. I don't like this guy, but I think he's funny. Why exactly is he in the WWE, again?   - Back from the commercial break, and that was probably a rough two minutes for the live crowd. I don't really want to think about it. JR calls Snitsky "Bowling Shoe Ugly." Well, I have to agree. At least there haven't been any restholds.   - Nevermind. There's a bearhug! On a PEDIGREE attempt, Snitsky backdropped HHH over the top rope. Then, he tries to hit HHH with the steel steps. He's unable to, though, as HHH gets disqualified by hitting Snitsky with a steel chair, at 10:06. HHH grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, hits Snitsky in the gut with it, and PEDIGREES him. Whoop-dee-doo. 1/2*...why was this 10 minutes, again. Anyway, HHH destroys the small screen below the actual TitanTron, and Vince allows him to go back into the Rumble, IF he wins his match next week. ___________________   JBL cut a promo on Chris Jericho next, in which he talked about Jericho's kids needing to know that his father's a coward. Then there's lots of pyro, to end the whole thing. ___________________   Next up was a 5 Man Royal Rumble, with 30 second intervals between appearances. This was some Hornswoggle thing, so I expect stupidity. And Lord, did I get it. The crowd can't even see the fuckin' thing, for one, second, nobody wants to watch a midget Royal Rumble. There was a mini-Kennedy, mini-Mankind, mini-Batista and mini-Kane. Lastly, Khali came out, but was beaten up by Finlay. -***** for that whole thing, I never want to discuss it again. Went about 7:50. Afterward, Finlay has a discussion with Vince, in which he says he doesn't want their deal to be broken. Uh... ___________________ How are they going to squeeze the main event and this Flair match into such a short time? Well, it's Ric Flair vs. William Regal.   - Both wrestlers come to the ring and we go to a commercial?   - Well, Flair cheats to win on a roll-up, while holding Regal's tights. Only 2:07 of the match was shown. This Flair stuff is being bungled beyond belief. Moreover, he's looking so worn down that I don't even think he'll be able to make it to WrestleMania. Just my opinion. Match was unrateable. ___________________   Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy in a match for the Intercontinental Title, yeah, yeah, yeah.   - Orton kicks Hardy in the nuts after 8 seconds, ending the match via disqualification. No rating, again. My original thought was, why give this match away on free TV? Well, they didn't, thankfully.   - Both men brawl to the stage, where Orton goes to punt Hardy in the head. Hardy gets up and backdrops him onto some sort of platform, a bit below the stage. I can't really do this angle justice, so bear with me. Hardy climbs up a support beam beside the stage, stops and...CLIMBS UP MORE. He's way up there. Then, he gives ORTON A FUCKING SWANTON BOMB, from about 15 feet up. Holy shit. This got over huge. HUGE, I tell you. JR and the King (no, not me) immediately stopped their commentary, as paramedics stretchered both men off to end the show. Hardy's gotta get the strap at the Rumble. GOTTA. He's their most over performer right now. What a good way to end a shitty show. Hardy's being put over so strong that this can't possibly be fucked up. He's been made into a star.   The show as a whole was terrible, but the ending was great. Meet in the middle and we'll call it decent. ___________________   I didn't have time to watch the show from MSG that was posted on 24/7. Sorry. I got a bit through it and fell asleep. Kerry Von Erich looked too young, even for him. ___________________   Next up, THE FIRST EVER MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Of all the updated stuff, I was waiting for this the most.   Sean Mooney starts things off, and you know, Bobby Heenan's not allowed in the building tonight. Rob Bartlett's on commentary instead. And the 1993 intro to the show is just as kickass as I remember it. ___________________   WELCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Commentary team is what you'd expect, Vince, Savage, and Bartlett.   Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji is our first match. Hey, the High Energy version of Koko.   - WHAT THE FUCK. I didn't realize that High Energy used what would stick around and become Owen Hart's music. Sorry, that threw me for a loop. I love Koko's ring attire.   - So, to sum things up, Yoko doesn't hit the canvas all match, and finishes things up with the BANZAI DROP at 3:46. *. Bartlett couldn't stop talking about Yoko's ass. Well, things like that are going to become commonplace throughout the show.   The promo for Royal Rumble 1993 is cool. Then we flash to Jim Ross talking about the importance of RAW to the business as a whole. Well, I agree there. ___________________   Bobby Heenan then cuts a pre-taped promo in which he talks about "Narcissus." It's a good thing they changed that to "Narcissist." The original was not the best.   That serves as our lead-in to The Executioners vs. the Steiner Brothers.   - The Executioners aren't important, so you missed nothing. The Steiners have this entrance music that I can't describe. Meaning that I don't know whether or not it's good. BTW, Doink the Clown is in the crowd. Good.   - Even then, Scott was really roided up. One of the Executioners blow an Irish whip, so they'll be punished for it. The Steiners fuck 'em up, as ECW fans would chant in the same building a few years later (though totally unrelated to the match at hand), and the bout ends via pinfall after Rick bulldogs one of the EX'S as they were seated on Scott's shoulders. I love that finisher, even if it probably injured a lot of guys. Thoroughly enjoyable contest, **. ___________________   Heenan's dressed as a woman, but he's not allowed in the building, as Mooney finds him out. Well, darn.   Edge talks...basically, whenever I say someone talks, it's about the importance of RAW. ___________________   Now we have an interview with Razor Ramon. I covered his accent in the PTW writeup from a few weeks before this, I think. Well, he's ready for the Rumble, MANG. Numero uno, mang, the #1 contender. He wanted this to be personal, so he attacked Owen on WWF Mania last week. After the interview's over, he tosses his toothpick at Vince. Yes!   Back at the announce table, the guys talk about Headlock on Hunger. And Tatanka has something to say about that. SPIRITS AND NONSENSE!!! ___________________   The next matchup is Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels, for Shawn's Intercontinental Championship.   - I don't know what to say about Max Moon. He does some cool stuff, like a running seated senton off the apron to Shawn as Shawn was standing up at ringside, much later in the match.   - During the "commercial break," HBK talked about RAW. Yeah, they placed that in there.   - Doink comes to ringside, as Bartlett is doing this AWFUL Mike Tyson impersonation. What did we do to deserve that? I was surprised to see that this wasn't a squash. Shawn wins the bout, by gaining the pinfall after the SIDE SUPLEX. It's just a back suplex, but since Gorilla Monsoon took extra care to make sure it was called the Side Suplex, hell, I'm calling it the Side Suplex. **. 7:52 of the bout was shown, who knows how long the commercial was. I know I can steal use the time from thehistoryofwwe.com, but I don't want to. ___________________   HHH talks, and then...   We cut to a RUMBLE REPORT, with Gene Okerlund. Shawn Michaels will face Marty Jannetty, with Sensational Sherri at ringside. Shawn says that Sherri will most certainly be with him. Marty says he'll get everything he wants, including the Intercontinental Title, and that Shawn doesn't really know what Sherri's going to do. Now Okerlund starts listing a few (a lot, really) of the Royal Rumble participants, but I'll just list the guys who cut promos. Mr. Perfect said that he has a perfect opportunity to win the Rumble. Well, he didn't say that, I did, cause that's what he should've said. Mr. Fuji babbles on about how Yokozuna's going to win the Rumble, and lastly, Jim Duggan talks about how he'll win the Rumble. Tough guy this, tough guy that, USA, USA, HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN HOOOOOOO, alright. You know, the Rumble winner goes to WrestleMania this year. Also, Bret Hart faces Razor Ramon. But that's seemingly an afterthought, isn't it. ___________________   Heenan tries to sneak in AGAIN, this time as a Rabbi. I was so pumped up after that RUMBLE REPORT that I wrote Rabbi as "Rumble." I'd show you, but there are so many things on this piece of paper that I don't want you to see. Mooney catches Heenan again, so Heenan gets all upset.   Mick Foley talks about RAW, now. From what I've been told, Reverend Slick converted Kamala last week on WWF Mania. WHAT? I'm glad I haven't seen some of this stuff. ___________________   Our main event is DAMIEN DEMENTO vs. The Undertaker, with Paul Bearer as Taker's manager. I tuned out Bartlett after the Tyson stuff, so he could've been bad this whole time. I don't know.   - Vince thanks DON IMUS for Rob Bartlett being there. That explains a lot about Bartlett's awfulness, doesn't it.   - Well, it's a squash. Taker finishes it off with the TOMBSTONE at 2:25. *. ___________________   Vince talks about RAW, and how the live audience helped make the show what it is today. Definitely.   Doink comes to ringside, and talks about how he's not bothered by Crush. Crush comes out, and talks some trash, brah. Well, Doink squirts him with a water pistol (yes, I call it that), so Crush chases him. How is Doink supposed to be the heel in all this? The crowd at the Manhattan Center loves the gimmick. Crush chases Doink, but eventually, he leaves the poor guy alone, so we can listen to Crush's great entrance music. ___________________   I know I said that I pride myself on not being silly, but I really took it to another level with this show. I couldn't help it, because, after all, WWF 1993 IS silly. Don't worry, I won't do that again for a while, likely until another RAW or a WWF Superstars is posted from 1993. By my standards, that was a good show. I was entertained throughout, and by my "would I have liked it then, but with a smarkish mindset" standards, undoubtedly I would have. If you can, watch it. If you can't watch it, find it. Unless you've seen it already, or have it on video. ___________________   Last, I watched WWECW, last night. ___________________   The "Cutting Edge" opened the show. Yeah, that's some interview segment with Edge as the host. Edge talks about the Rumble, and when mentioning Rey Mysterio, you immediately notice that there's a lot of kids in the crowd. Like, a whole lot. This'll have something to do with what I say later. Anyhow, he shows us what happened last week on Smackdown, when he and the Edgeheads beat up Rey Mysterio after Rey's match with Chavo Guerrero. So, this somehow gets to the point where CM Punk is the guest. Edge says he's been watching Punk, and that he reminds Edge of himself. Punk says he respects his opponents, but he can beat Chavo if he faces him again. And he can beat Edge too. Chavo then comes out, and challenges Punk. Punk accepts, but is pushed by Chavo into Edge. Then Punk gets his ass beat, and his shoulder gets rammed into the post by both guys, who then leave with the damage done. I didn't know what to think about that, on one hand, you gave the guy no rub from a confrontation with Edge, secondly, you took all the heat away from Chavo, who's in the middle of this program. Unless we're getting to Edge/Punk in the near future, I don't like this at all.   After the commercial break, Edge leaves. That means he'll be there later. ___________________   The next match is a tag team match, with the Highlanders facing John Morrison and the Miz. I don't know if this was a WWE Tag Team Title match or not.   - Miz and Morrison need to start entering together. It's tiresome to watch tag team partners have two separate entrances. Yeah, "they have big egos." So what. Make them argue over how they enter or something.   - I don't understand why the Highlanders are here, and why they're playing pseudo-babyfaces. Pseudo because nobody is cheering them, see.   - Of the two Highlanders, I like Robbie better. The match finishes after the Reality Check (kneelift, neckbreaker) at 2:57. *1/2. That finisher sucks, but I expected it, given that the Miz is the guy who does it. ___________________   Here's another Kofi Kingston vignette. It won't be hard for him to get over, because the general public (AFAIK) likes the whole Jamaican thing. I expect great things from him, given what I've read about his in-ring work. He debuts next week, on ECW. Good. Perfect show to debut him on. ___________________   Kelly Kelly comes out, and talks about HD. Then she disrobes. Anyone watching the show saw what she was wearing, and if you didn't, don't worry, it was nothing much. Literally. I kinda have a problem with this, given the number of kids in the crowd. If you want the product to be marketed toward kids, which given characters like Hornswoggle is what they want, do that, and get rid of this. You want to show this stuff, stop with the kid oriented stuff. Make up your mind. ___________________   The white guy from the past few weeks is with Tazz again. He'll be facing Kane this time. Chokeslam finishes after 1 minute. 1/2*. I don't know about the rest of us, but I'm starting to get bored by this.   The ECW GM, that Estrada guy, is with CM Punk. The match will go on. Well, duh. ___________________   The injury report from Hardy's dive last night is that Hardy left the hospital before being evaluated, and Orton had to stay overnight. They're putting over Hardy so strong in this whole thing that I have a hard time believing he won't win at MSG. It's unfortunate that WrestleMania is coming up, seeing as HHH is probably going to win the Rumble. The trigger was probably pulled too quickly on this feud, but it should go until No Way Out at the least. ___________________   So, it's Shelton Benjamin vs. Nunzio.   - Hey, someone from actual ECW. Have I mentioned that Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is great?   - Shelton's inverted bulldog finishes at 3:05. Move needs a name, and I think Tazz gave it one, inadvertently so. "The Gold Standard." After the match, Shelton grabs a mic, then says, THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOWWWWWW, and gives him another inverted bulldog. I know a few people hate that catchphrase, but I love it. His voice cracked toward the end, making it that much better. *1/2. ___________________   Now we have our main event, Chavo's 3rd Chance, featuring him taking on CM Punk. Taken directly from my notes, to let you know what I was thinking about the booking here.   - Punk's favoring his shoulder, of course. I don't like this, because I suppose it hurts Chavo's....status. While he's not been portrayed as strong, there needs to be incentive to care about the eventual title match, so winning semi-clean is the only acceptable course of action.   - There's Edge, going on commentary. Told ya so. A good thing is, with Edge there, people aren't going to lose focus on the match, or leave, like last time. We're going to have another long overrun, which is ok. I don't like knowing exactly when the show will end.   - When Chavo punches, it looks SO weak. Why that is, who knows. It's like he's too cautious. Each of these matches have been distinctly different, which is good. This one is better than the other two, I believe. Punk gets tossed outside, and clobbered in the head by Edge's World Heavyweight Title. So, Chavo wins by countout, at 11:18. **3/4. That was pretty much the worst ending possible. Let's look at the possible options.   Draw. Yeah, right. Punk wins. That's fine. Punk loses by DQ, after Edge hits Chavo with his title. That's ok. Chavo gets the pinfall, clean. Not happening. Chavo gets the pinfall, after Edge interference, and his own finisher. Best possible option. Chavo wins via an arm-oriented submission. This is ok, too. Chavo wins by countout, while having no direct impact on the end of the match at all. Dogshit.   Again, why should I care about the title match? It doesn't do anything for either participant, and given the booking, I doubt this match will happen at the Rumble. If it does, it won't be of any length. Tazz said that Chavo would probably want to have his title shot next week, given his mindset. Punk isn't going to face Edge anytime soon, so...I don't get it. If he did face Edge, he'd only lose. That shouldn't even be an option, but it's the only way this thing will go. He's not going to get a rub from it either, as it could only last until No Way Out. It'll never go to WrestleMania. ___________________   Anyway, that was a shitty ending to a pretty good match. Decent show. In the next installment, I'll have a whole bunch of stuff to read, including my thoughts on Smackdown. But first, the HHH/HBK RAW has to go up, which it will, tomorrow. I'm not typing up anything about the first ECW on TNN show, because it was basically a clip show. The segments on that will be reviewed on it's own merit when posted on it's original program, whether it be Hardcore Heaven '99 in the case of Lynn/RVD, or wherever that Taz/Rhyno match came from.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-13-08.

Starting things off, was ECW from 1/8/07. Seeing as I took good notes, this'll be an exact copy of them. ___________________   The first match on this show was a 15 Minutes of Fame match for the WWE Tag Team Titles, between the team of Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore and the team of John Morrison and the Miz. The 15 Minutes of Fame thing is basically an ironman rules match. Simple, right?   - I already said how gay I thought Morrison's entrance is, so this'll be the last mention forever. Get rid of the slowmotion stuff, for fuck's sake.   - Yang collides with Miz on the ring apron, and Morrison rolls Yang up while holding his tights for the first fall, with 11:14 remaining. These times are not exact, because it's hard to write and take the exact time of the fall from the timer on the screen at a precise moment. Well, for me, anyway.   - Yang gives the Miz a moonsault press, which gets his team a fall at 6:08. So, it's 1-1.   - The Miz has very little in-ring presence. Not only that, but he doesn't do anything of note. He just punches and kicks, with a resthold or two in-between.   - Ok, now the ending. Moore nearly fucks up multiple aerial attacks, in the leadup to what's obviously going to be a draw. Yang gives someone (unimportant) a moonsault press, which nearly misses...and that gets a 2 count, as the time expires. Didn't care for it at all, as it was clear from the 2nd fall that this was going to be a draw. **. ___________________   I guess Chavo Guerrero gets a 2nd Chance at CM Punk tonight. Uh, why?   The white kid from last week is there again. He gets squashed by Mark Henry, in a bout that ends with the World's Strongest Slam at 1:07. Who cares. *, for the bit of laughter I had when Henry gave him a flapjack. ___________________   A Kofi Kingston vignette followed this, where Kingston knocked out some white guy on the beaches of Jamaica. I didn't laugh, I just thought it was weird. Who knows where this is going.   The Royal Rumble promo this year is great. Thought that should be mentioned too. ___________________   The Diva Danceoff is next, between Kelly Kelly and Layla. Layla is much better looking than Kelly Kelly, which is saying a lot, because I generally like blondes far more than other women. Anyhow, they both do a few shitty dances, and the MC, some girl named Lena (no, not Leena, in case you get confused) decides to enter herself. So she does, and proclaims herself as the winner. This was a waste of time. Who writes this shit? ___________________   Before the main event, Shelton Benjamin cut a pretty good promo. There ain't no stoppin' him now. I hope he puts it together this time and doesn't fuck up what looks to be a pretty good upcoming push. ___________________   And now, the main event is Chavo's 2nd Chance, featuring, well, Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk (ECW Champion). If Chavo wins, he gets a title shot.   - Why should Chavo get another chance? Not only that, but it's kinda weird to see Chavo getting a "top level" push after all this time. I say top level, because nothing on ECW is a main event program. Not to take away from anyone, it just isn't. I can see why the crowd doesn't buy it, after watching the guy get jobbed out during his entire run in the company. I wouldn't either.   - Anyway, we're back from the commercial break, as Chavo has Punk locked in an abdominal stretch. Speaking of breaks, it's hard to rate a match that has a commercial break right in the middle of it. The crowd has emptied out, as you'd figure, and what's left of them are shitting on this match. I think it's ok...   - Punk's offense is good, but the crowd kills it. I had something else written down, but I won't say it, as I already said it over here...INSERT LINK   - Ending time. Chavo takes the turnbuckle pad off, and as the referee's putting it back on (what jackass would put the pad back on in such an important match.. Oh, now I'm using my brain again, something I shouldn't be doing right now. Brain off.), Chavo grabs the ECW Championship belt, and goes to hit Punk with it. The referee spots him, and takes the belt away from Chavo, after which, he disqualifies Chavo at 14:41. So, Chavo doesn't get a title shot. **1/2, based on the premise of the match, finish, and lack of heat. Otherwise I'd have no problem giving ***, which is basically my barometer for saying a +9 minute match was really good. The crowd doesn't care about Chavo, which kills any potential good match against Punk (or any World Title holder) dead. And if they do this match again at MSG during the Royal Rumble card, the crowd is going to shit all over it, even worse.   - After the match, Punk gives Chavo a GO 2 SLEEP. And that's the end of the show. ___________________   I watched both parts of the Ladder Match DVD that are up on 24/7, and there's a few things I want to say about them.   - I've seen the first ladder match with Big Daddy Ritter (JYD) and Jake Roberts before, and didn't care for it. Mainly because I don't like the idea of the ringcrew holding the ladder up for guys to climb.   - I'm only going to review the RAW and Smackdown matches on here, when they get posted on the service. I'm not reviewing the Bret/Shawn Ladder Match because I think it justifies a full review, something which I'm loathe to try on a singular match. Since I have it on tape, I'll review that match, and that one only, when my hand is better. It was hurting yesterday, so I didn't even take notes.   - The Razor/HBK Ladder Match from Summerslam '95 is not nearly as good as the one from WM X.   - TLC I is the best one, not 2, 3, 4 or whatever.   - The WCW Ladder Match from Starrcade 2000 had the most predictable ending imaginable...not only that, but the commentary was as shitty as I remembered it being. Which is to say that it's even worse than the current TNA commentary team. ___________________   I didn't watch Friday Night Smackdown at all, because I was so interested in the Laker game. Seeing as the Lakers don't play during Smackdown for about a month, this won't happen for a while. ___________________   I watched the Territories Roundtable, but didn't take notes. I only have a few things to say.   - Tazz is of little use to this particular roundtable. He doesn't say a whole lot, mainly because he wasn't around in the days of the territories. But there's so much said by the other guys that it really doesn't matter.   - Pat Patterson's stories about San Francisco were great. Just talking about how he was able to be home every night, and all that.   - They talked about the Montreal Screwjob, and how that was common in the days of the territories. Through that conversation, Michael Hayes told a story about Tommy Rich beating Harley Race for the NWA Title. Supposedly that was a double-cross.   - JR's insight about the promoters getting together and talking about killing Vince McMahon after Black Saturday was something I most certainly believe...it doesn't surprise me in the least.   I enjoyed the roundtable, as it was better than the last. ___________________   Ok, I didn't watch the MSG show yet, because I'm sick. I'll watch it tomorrow. So, that, RAW, ECW and probably one more thing will be on the next random thoughts piece, but I might review the PYBO next all by its lonesome, as it features that HHH/Shawn match from December '03 that I love. Basically, we'll see.
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Review: Mostly RAW from 1/7/08.

Ok, nothing for Smackdown. I barely even watched it, although I like that Rey's going to face Edge at the Royal Rumble. I thought Chavo's match against Funaki was good, that was the only thing I watched in its entirety. Also, I like the "Edge Heads" gimmick, although the shorter guy doesn't seem to be a very good wrestler. That's all I have to say. ___________________   So, the first show I watched in its entirety was ECW from 2-11-96.   - The segment at the beginning of the show was gigantically long. Like about 20-25 minutes long. First, Taz attacked Rey Mysterio. The SHAH and JT Smith came out to help Rey, and they started fighting. Guess that makes sense. Woman then came out, and 2 Cold Scorpio carried her out of the building. Stevie Richards then came out to the ring, along with the Blue Meanie. They offered Sandman a chance to back out of his match against Raven, and he said no. He canes all of them, and we cut away, to Raven at the ring. Stevie has a surprise for him, and it's that he's suing Missy Hyatt. She comes out, and then Sandman comes out, who canes the members of Raven's Nest, and joins Missy Hyatt. I deliberately typed that as convoluted sounding as possible, because, well, it was a convoluted segment. One that I didn't care for.   - The next thing on the show was an advertisement for the video tape, "Big Apple Blizzard Blast." A Current Affair was shooting footage, and the main things on the show were Sabu vs. Mr. Hughes and The Gangstas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio and the Sandman. Yeeeeah. ___________________   We have our first match next, it's Tommy Dreamer and Shane Douglas vs. Stevie Richards and Raven. Now, the rundown of things I thought were notable.   - Stevie put on a Razor Ramon t-shirt, and threw a toothpick at Shane. That was funny, at least until Shane ripped the Razor t-shirt off and went to work on Stevie.   - Cactus Jack runs in, and tries to beat up Shane. He leaves after a little bit. See, that's the one thing I don't get about run-ins during the middle of the match. Why wouldn't you stick around for the duration, instead of getting one or two punches in and leaving?   - Sandman canes everyone, and leaves. After that, there were many nearfalls.   - When Tommy gets introduced to the match via hot tag, weapons make their appearance. Meanie accidentally gives Stevie a moonsault, and Tommy gets knocked out, on a double collision. Beulah's been out there the whole time, so she tapes a frying pan to Tommy's right foot. He then gets up and gives Stevie Richards an enziguri, for the pinfall. Time announced was like 19:something, but that much certainly was not shown. Anyway, I liked it. ___________________   Lastly, was the match between Taz and the Shark Attack Kid. Talk about a good wrestling name. Taz wins the bout after the Tazmission and multiple suplexes, and afterward, grabs a microphone. He talks trash about 911, until 911's "music" hits. At least the geniuses at WWE 24/7 use the same dubbed music for each wrestler, instead of having it be different all the time. Otherwise I really wouldn't have understood the segment. Well, Tod Gordon comes to the ring instead of 911, and says that 911 is gone. GONE. And now, Bill Alfonso wants to fight Tod. So they do, until Tod gets the upper hand, at which point Taz comes in and beats up Gordon. BAM BAM FUCKING BIGELOW hits the ring, and chases off Taz. I knew that was going to happen because of the program description, but still, it's Bam Bam Bigelow. He grabs the microphone and says that Taz won't be able to suplex him. End show.   Well, I liked the ending, and was indifferent to the rest. The show was decent. This Bam Bam thing could be great... ___________________   The last show I watched in between my last review and this one, was Monday Night RAW, last night. So, here's how it went.   - At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon was at the RAW ROULETTE WHEEL with William Regal. He tells Regal that he'll be facing HHH tonight, so now, we spin the wheel. And it's a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!! Regal leaves the room, and HHH attacks him in the hall. Ha. This should be fun.   The first match on the show was going to be Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy, or so it would seem. But the wheel lands on a...STRANGE BEDFELLOWS MATCH. I didn't have a clue as to what this was, but McMahon says that both HBK and Kennedy will be teaming up against another strange team. So, it winds up being HBK and Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdoch.   - Haas' gimmick blows. I thought it was funny, in the worst way possible. That won't last for long. In case you didn't know, he goes under the ring at some random point during the match and puts on a mask.   - Toward the end, Kennedy wouldn't help HBK make the tag. So HBK made the comeback all by himself, giving both opponents SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Unbeknownst to HBK, Kennedy had made a blind tag, so after giving Haas SCM, Kennedy gave HBK the "Mic Check," gaining him the pinfall over Haas. I didn't time it, as I was doing something else. Again, sorry. *1/2, with the forewarning that Haas' gimmick has the potential to ruin matches. The Mic Check is just a fancy name for a downward spiral. Also, Kennedy's spray-on tan was coming off. It looked disgusting. His skin color looked like that of Hulk Hogan, at least where the tan was still remaining. ___________________   The next match was Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito in a "Trading Places" match. Ok, I can't believe another WWE wrestler doesn't copy gimmicks, much in the same fashion of this match. Trading Places denotes that each wrestler dresses like the other.   - I was surprised to see that Holly wasn't taking the gimmick too seriously. He had fun with it, which definitely was a surprise, this being Hardcore Holly, and all.   - Holly spit an apple in Carlito's face, and gave him the Alabama Slam for the victory. Carlito stuck around to do jobs for Hardcore Holly? *. ___________________   Before the commercial, Jim Ross sneaks in a "SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL" reference. I knew he would. Only makes sense, don't it.   Vince McMahon and Maria were backstage, to determine a match for all the Divas. The wheel landed on "Submission," but Vince moved the wheel over to a Lingerie Pillow Fight. That's not all, though. Afterward, Vince tells Hornswoggle that he needs to find a partner for a tag match, in which the winning team qualifies for the Royal Rumble.   The Pillow Fight was on after the commercial. I didn't pay attention, all I know is that Ashley pinned Jillian Hall after a flying elbow. What I saw, sucked. Hard. These are unrateable anyway. ___________________   So, Hornswoggle was looking for a partner. Santino laughed at him. I was reading the RAW thread, and I have to agree with something Conspiracy_Victim said. Playing to the stereotype with Santino would be great.   Ok, the next match is the First Blood match, between HHH and William Regal.   - I liked it, but there really wasn't a whole lot to say. HHH punched Regal a whole bunch, and made Regal bleed. The end. **1/2. After the match, HHH gave Regal a PEDIGREE and celebrated. I'm not an HHHater, but I still think that was unnecessary. He's still putting people over, though, so why complain? That said, the product is about 1,000,000 times better than when I quit watching. I really like what I've seen thus far, for the most part. ___________________   The next match was Chris Jericho...in what was a HANDICAP MATCH. He's facing Snitsky and...JBL. Not much surprise, there. Besides, the newer fan needs to see JBL in-ring before the Rumble, so this is acceptable.   - Ok, JBL looked a little flabby. Why is this a bad thing? I see way too much hypocrisy from Smarks these days. These guys aren't supposed to use steroids, and you make fun of those who do. But when you see a guy who doesn't, you make fun of him too? Idiots.   - JBL hits Jericho with the ring bell at the end of the match, giving Jericho the win by DQ. 1/2*. Now, JBL grabs a cable, and begins to choke Jericho with it. He ties a noose around Jericho's neck, and drags him all the way towards the entrance. He begins to hang Jericho on the scaffolding on the side of the entrance, but various officials/road agents come out to stop the beating. Ok, that was cool. And now, the thing with Benoit never crossed my mind, nor would it ever have unless someone mentioned it. I'm kinda sensitive when it comes to things like that (although not a straight out bitch), but really guys, let it go. There's really nothing offensive about the Jericho segment at all. Plus, a segment like that could garner a few more PPV buys. Note that I said could. ___________________   Now, it's time for the Hornswoggle tag team match, as he's found a partner to face the Highlanders. It's some guy named BK Jordan. However, MICK FOLEY, being the man that he is, ABSOLUTELY MUST help the little guy. So he decides to be Hornswoggle's partner.   - The match was way too long, let's put it that way. Hornswoggle won the bout after a frog splash. Sorry, I'm not calling it a tadpole splash. *1/4. The match was too long, it should've been a Foley squash. I wonder why Foley's going to be in the Rumble. I have this feeling that he'll get in the Elimination Chamber and win, OR, he'll go after CM Punk in a face vs. face thing leading up to WrestleMania. Hell, he could do both, putting Punk over huge at WrestleMania. Or he could do neither and disappear after the Rumble, considering that the WWE would never let Foley pick up pinfalls in an Elimination Chamber match, and losing in such a match would damage any possible rub he could give Punk. ___________________   In the main event, it was Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga in a cage match. Randy Orton's at ringside, btw.   - Ok, here's the first of many cool spots. Umaga backdropped Hardy into the cage...   - Randy Orton threw multiple chairs into the ring, and Umaga complied with Orton's wishes by hitting Hardy in the back with one of them...   - Jeff Hardy threw a chair at Umaga...but before that, he crotched Umaga on the top rope, and delivered a Poetry in Motion to him, knocking Umaga into the cage.   - Jeff gave Umaga a DDT into a chair, and while trying to escape through the door, Orton shut the door in his face.   - Umaga tried to give Jeff a SAMOAN SPIKE, but Jeff gave him the TWIST OF FATE. Then, Hardy climbed up the cage, and delivered a WHISPER IN THE WIND FROM THE TOP, which helped him to gain the pinfall, after a match that lasted around 15 minutes. Ok, that match rocked. I guess I was right about these two being able to have a really good match, wasn't I? ***3/4. Umaga's nerve hold was the only negative to what was a great match. Hardy then climbed up the cage, and stared down Randy Orton to end the show. Honestly, I thought Hardy was going to jump off onto Orton. That would've been awesome. ___________________   This show was pretty good, and far beyond my expectations. As long as the product stays like this, I'll keep watching. And the Royal Rumble card looks great, IMO. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with the Ladder Match DVD. Needless to say, my next "Random Thoughts" piece will have something to say about that, ECW from later today, and the MSG show from 1980.
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Review: WCW Bash at the Beach 1994, from Orlando, Florida, 7/17/1994.

My hand is nearly ready to start typing these in full. Nearly, but who knows how long that'll be. Anyhow, nothing will be there to review in full like that until the 15th, at which point I'll probably bring back a full review with Royal Rumble 1988. Fitting in with the theme of the month "Big Bangs and Dazzling Debuts," it's Hulk Hogan's WCW debut. So... ___________________   Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan talk for a while, until we are given a rendition of the national anthem by some guy named Daron Norwood. Who? Next, we see a clip of Sting vs. Ric Flair from WCW Saturday Night. I've heard that match is a very good one, but it's just a clip here. Anyway, Sting was scheduled to challenge Lord Steven Regal for the TV Title tonight. But since he has a lacarated cornea or something from Sensous (their name for her, not mine) Sherri scratching him on the face, after coming through the crowd dressed as a man. After that, Hulk Hogan ran into the ring to save Sting, until Ric Flair got the edge on him after a chopblock. The attack continued until Mr. T and Jimmy Hart save Hogan from Flair. Ok, then. ___________________   The first match on the card is Johnny B. Badd vs. Lord Steven Regal w/Sir William for the WCW TV Title. Yes, Sir William is Bill Dundee. My brother thinks Badd looks really fabulous. Take that for what you will.   I don't like that there's confetti all over the ring during the match, from when Badd shot it out of the Badd Blaster during his entrance. The crowd was into this match, which was definitely a good thing. However, this one was strange. The match didn't get going well until at the end, at which point Badd began to take over the match. He hit Regal with a left hook, which knocked him to the floor, and then he hit Regal with a pescado. He tossed Regal in and came in with a sunset flip, but Regal reversed it (strangely) into a rollup for 3 at 10:40. After the match, Badd attacks Sir William, and then, WCW's crew clears the confetti out of the ring. Thank you. The ending looked really bad, but it was still something good to open the show. **1/2. ___________________   Next, Antonio Inoki's in the ring. Zuh? Well, Steven Regal comes into the ring, and runs down the fact that he's not being given an award, while Inoki is. After talking for a while, Inoki chases him around the inside of the ring, until Regal chickens out and goes backstage. Jesse Ventura then comes out for commentary, prior to... ___________________   This bout is The Guardian Angel vs. Vader w/Harley Race. Guardian Angel = Ray Traylor.   My brother points out to me that Traylor looks like a Russian with the beret he wears during his entrance. He's right. This was a fun one. And Vader gave Traylor the moonsault, which was great. Anyway, Race gave Vader this baton thing to hit Traylor with as the referee was down, but Traylor stole it. The referee then wakes up and sees Traylor with the baton, and he disqualifies Traylor, giving Vader the win by disqualification, at 7:58. He never even hit Vader with the thing, which soured me on an otherwise decent affair. *3/4. ___________________   Mike Tenay and Chris Cruise, who are operating the WCW Hotline, want to speak to Terry Funk, but Funk wants no part of that. Now, for a recap of the feud between Dustin Rhodes, Bunkhouse Buck and Funk. On some show, Terry hit Dustin with a branding iron. And Dustin does a great bladejob, which was a surprise, given WCW's restrictions on blood. Anyway, Dustin wants Arn Anderson to team with him against Buck and Funk, and Arn says sure.   Before that match, there's a video of some silly match before the show. I have no idea what this is. ___________________   And now, we have Bunkhouse Buck and Terry Funk w/Meng and Colonel Robert Parker vs. Dustin Rhodes and Arn Anderson in a Grudge Match.   I'm very interested to see what happens in this match. I don't know what happens here at all. Anyway, Dustin takes an asskicking. Funk acts like a nutcase for most of the match, which is great. Anyway, Dustin finally powers up and hits both opponents with multiple elbows, and when he hits Robert Parker, he decides to tag in Arn. Arn is fired up too...but he gives DUSTIN A DDT. What the FUCK. Ok, that one surprised me. Wow. Funk then covers Dustin at 11:15 for the 3 count. There is monstrous heel heat here. Now the heels go to work on the arm, stomping it and kneedropping it. What a great match finish, ***. There was a gigantic WTF factor there, the crowd didn't expect, and neither did I. Like I said, I try not to find things out about these shows, and not only that, I've never seen this show in my life. WCW post-Hogan arrival to Fall Brawl 1995 is a blank slate to me. Mean Gene Okerlund then encounters Arn in the aisleway, and asks him why he did that. He sidesteps the question, and says that they're going to celebrate. ___________________   Tony and Bobby begin to talk to Hank Aaron, but thankfully, it's time for Part 2, as this conversation is edited out. ___________________   A Jimmy Hart thing (not part of the Bash show) opens up Part 2, and then it's Ric Flair and Sensous Sherri with Mean Gene. I've gotta ask, couldn't they think of a better first name for Sherri? That one sucks. Flair loves the match being live, and worldwide. This isn't on Worldwide, what the hell's he talking about? Sherri says that Flair's the man, and now, we have... ___________________   Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin, for the US Title. This match sounds great, and it should be. Steamboat's entrance with the dubbed music sounds like something out of Pirates of the Carribean. Just sayin'.   I love watching Steamboat chop the shit out of his opponent. Austin has the words, "Dragon Slayer" on his trunks. Thought that was worth a mention. Ventura gushes over Steamboat throughout the match, which is no surprise. He always gives Ricky credit. Unfortunately, this match is a disappointment. I expected far more. There's too much "going through the motions" here, and Tony never fails to disappoint with his "biggest night in the history of our sport" crap. I think that's the first time he's done so thus far. The match gets good at the end, but by that point it was a bit beyond being saved. Steamboat gives Austin a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER after multiple reversals, and goes to the top rope. Before this, Austin tried to toss Steamboat over the top rope twice. You know, because of that retarded DQ rule. Austin then pushes the referee, and the referee goes to make a disqualification. Steamboat then talks to the referee, and pleads for the match to continue and not be ended via disqualification. And the referee listens. Austin then spears Steamboat and beats him up. He throws him into the ropes and misses a clothesline, so Steamboat counters with a crossbody. Austin reverses the crossbody and puts his feet on the ropes, to get the pinfall at 20:06. I expected much, much more from this. A disappointing ***1/4. Still good, but nowhere near what one would expect from these two. ___________________   Next is a WCW Hotline promo, before Bobby Heenan (back on commentary in place of Ventura) and Tony make their predictions of who will win the tag team match that's up next. I didn't pay attention to what they said. Following that, Mean Gene is with the newly formed Stud's Stable. That's what Arn joined, see. Arn talks about the Sid thing without mentioning him by name, and says that this is the real Arn Anderson. ___________________   Ok, the next match is Pretty Wonderful vs. Cactus Jack and Kevin Sullivan w/Dave Sullivan for the WCW World Tag Team Championship. Pretty Wonderful was the team of Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma.   This sounds decent on paper. On paper. In actuality, this is a pile of shit. So much so, that the crowd starts doing the wave during the match. That's gotta be disheartening to the wrestlers involved. This is so boring, there's at been at least 6 minutes of restholds. Anyway, Cactus gets the cold tag, and gives Orndorff a double-arm DDT. Dave Sullivan then gets on the ring apron for some inexplicable reason, and Roma trips Cactus. Orndorff then pins Cactus while Roma holds Cactus' feet down, giving Pretty Wonderful the win and tag titles at 20:11. This was terrible. DUD. Everyone should be ashamed of the shitty effort they put in. ___________________   It's time for the main event, the biggest match in the history of our sport! First Nick Bockwinkel comes to the ring, and then, Shaquille O'Neal. That gets a rise out of the crowd, this being Orlando and all. ___________________   The match everyone's talking about is Hulk Hogan w/Mr. T and Jimmy Hart vs. Ric Flair w/Sensous Sherri for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Well, Hogan's music is shit. Not that I forgot about it, but it's terrible.   Ok, since this match has so much overbooking, I'll give that the rundown. Multiple times Ric Flair pulls Sherri in between he and Hogan when outside of the ring. That's no surprise. Hogan's technical wrestling is solid in this match, and that was a surprise. Ok, a bit later, Sherri grabs Hulk's leg while Hulk is running the ropes. It causes Hulk to turn around, and Flair chops him out of the ring. Sherri then grabs a chair, but Jimmy Hart steals it away from her. Flair takes a back suplex outside of the ring during the match, which was great. Hogan does a faux Hulk-Up, and gives Flair a big boot, which gets 2 as a result of Sherri pulling the official out of the ring. Sherri then hits Jimmy Hart, and gives Hogan a big splash off the top rope. There's a new referee, but Flair distracts him, while Sherri chokes Hogan with her panty hose. Flair then puts Hogan in the figure-four, and Sherri tries another splash on Hogan from the top. She misses, so Hogan knocks her out of the ring, while clotheslining Flair. He gives Flair a figure-four, as Mr. T carries Sherri to the back. But before T gets there, she tosses Flair a foreign object to hit Hogan with. Flair punches Hogan and only gets two, so it's HULK-UP TIME LITTLE DUDE. ONE TWO THREE, BOOT, DROP THE FUCKING LEG for 3 at 21:50. Ok, at first, I was going to call this **3/4. However, there's a gigantic amount of overbooking. I'm not going to deduct anything, for third reasons. First, the segments in between the overbooking are outstanding. The wrestling is crisp, and psychology is sound. Secondly, I feel like I already deducted stars for rating it that low in the first place. Third, should I deduct stars, I have no idea how low I should go. There was just SO MUCH. My rating is still **3/4, with an aforementioned warning that the overbooking is such that it can make the match un-enjoyable. However, I still enjoyed it.   After the match, Shaq hands Hogan the title, and Hogan poses. I was hoping this was the end of the show, but it's not. Hogan gives an interview in the back, and runs into Brutus Beefcake and Jim Duggan along the way back there. Talk about who I would not want in WCW, those two are atop the list. Once he gets back there to talk to Gene Okerlund, he goes into formula Hogan mode. He puts over Johnny B. Badd, Duggan, Beefcake and Brian Pillman(?) as loyal Hulkamaniacs, and rambles for a while, until the interview ends and we go back to Bobby and Tony. Show's over, after they say a few things. ___________________   Rating: Decent. Largely disappointing, IMO. I thought this was going to be a great show, I really did. I nearly forgot to mention that NO babyfaces won on the entire card until the main event. I think that's shitty of WCW. Had I paid for the show, I would've been a little peeved. However, unlike StarrCade '92, I definitely would have bought this in the first place. Not a question about it. That said, there are still things about this show that are well worth checking out, namely Hogan/Flair, and Arn Anderson's turn.   Best Segment: Arn Anderson's turn on Dustin Rhodes. No contest.   Worst Segment: Kevin Sullivan and Cactus Jack vs. Pretty Wonderful. Brutal stuff.   Loudest Sound: Johnny B. Badd, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and all participants in the grudge match. After the Arn heel turn, the crowd really turned down the volume. That wasn't a good thing.   No Sound: Ricky Steamboat, Cactus Jack, Kevin Sullivan, and Steve Austin. Although Pretty Wonderful are Pretty Awful, they got massive heel heat prior to and after their title win. Austin was the only heel to get little reaction. ___________________   The Lakers play tonight, so when I post that "Random Thoughts" thing in a few days, there won't be anything about Smackdown except for what I thought of the booking, if anything at all. I won't be watching much of Smackdown unless there's a blowout in the Laker game. Anyhow, that thing will probably be up Monday afternoon.
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RAW from 5/12/1997...mostly.

Ok, time for some random thoughts about things I've watched which I'm unable to type a full review of. When I go back to work once this hand is healed, this part of my reviewing, outside of Raw and Nitro, is very likely to stay like this. I won't have the time to write like I did before. I probably shouldn't have tagged this under review, but whatever. ___________________   So, first, Shorties Section. RAW debuts, introduced by Santino Marella.   - Triple H's finisher in his first RAW match was a funny one to see. I couldn't picture him doing a cutter variation now, so that was a surprise.   - The original concept with Mankind's music was awesome. The piano music at the end, I mean. He gave Bob Holly a little too much during the match, though.   - The shoulderbreaker was a pretty lame finisher for a debuting guy. So why did Rocky Maivia have it? Sunny fawning over him on commentary was funny, as was Rocky's hair. Not diggin' all the blue, though.   - The Headbangers beat the Hardy's the hell up, on that RAW where Sid won the title from Bret Hart, the night after the Final Four. Not much to see here at all, except for the Hardy's lame choice in tights.   - Carlito's RAW debut in an Intercontinental Championship match against Shelton Benjamin featured a hilarious botched somersault plancha, by Benjamin. It was one of the funnier botches I've seen, seeing as the guy didn't get hurt. And the match was **1/4, thankfully, as Carlito cheated to win at 9:07. I like Shelton Benjamin, but he always seems to have the most lax attitude in the entire promotion during his matches.   - Umaga beat up Ric Flair in his RAW debut, the night after WM 22. Nothing really to mention here.   - Santino Marella beat Umaga in a no-holds barred Intercontinental Championship match, during his debut in Milan, Italy. First, I loved the European football type atmosphere in the crowd. That was awesome. Second, Bobby Lashley is the exact opposite of what the WWE needs to have on TV. He looks like a black Scott Steiner. Anyway, Santino only won as a result of Bobby Lashley's interference. And there was really no way I could rate that "match."   Ok, that was a pretty good selection to start with, given that you aren't going to get any great matches out of this bunch. It's a hell of a lot better than the WWE picking so many matches I've already seen or have last month. ___________________   Ok, next is Black Saturday, which I watched about an hour ago (when I typed this part, anyway)   - Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch are awesome, although I already knew that. And the move they used to finish their squash tag match was incredible. Like a back suplex Doomsday Device.   - George Steele is a heel is much better than the watered-down version that he became just a few years later.   - Jesse Ventura's match was nothing special...that shouldn't be a surprise.   - B.Brian Blair had an interview with Gene Okerlund, talking about challenging for the WWF Tag Titles...this was quickly followed by an interview with Alexis Smirnoff. I thought Smirnoff's faux Russian accent was brutal.   - The Iron Sheik's squash match was fun, namely because of the chants, "Iran sucks" and "We Want Slaughter." Unfortunately, there was no appearance by Slaughter.   - Bobo Brazil vs. Big John Studd was tough for me to pay attention to, because my cousin wouldn't leave me alone. It was entertaining, which is more than I thought I would say. Studd won with an elbowdrop.   Overall, I can see why people were up in arms about this. And the suggestion that people were up in arms about this just because they were NWA purists is absurd. People were up in arms about this because an entire territory was GONE. I'd be pissed too if an entire roster of wrestlers that I watched and liked just disappeared. That doesn't really count for WCW, because while I watched them, I wanted them to die as a result of their stupidity. I may have been a mark, but I knew the score. Also, it became part of a storyline. This was never the case with Georgia Championship Wrestling. ___________________   Now, onto RAW, from 5/12/97. I'm using thehistoryofwwe.com to jumpstart my memory. The non-match stuff MAY be out of order.   - The show started with the Hart Foundation giving an interview, Vince Russo style. By that, I mean the promo to open the show, which has become a staple in recent weeks. Anyhow, I'm already tired of them. Bret Hart isn't the best person to be giving interviews like this. While I love the guy, he just isn't. Anyway, nothing happened, they just went backstage after being booed. These should always be a vehicle for someone else to come out and either run them down/get ran down/make or announce a match, or for an attack. None of that happened here.   - In a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, Ahmed Johnson beat HHH by Disqualification, when Chyna hit Ahmed with a steel chair. Now, I've gotta ask a question I don't want answered. How did HHH get back in the tournament if he lost? Anyway, we'll see, but it's going to be stupid regardless.   - Scott Putski then faced Leif Cassidy...I hate Scott Putski. Putski won, and was attacked by Cassidy after the match.   - LOD beat PG-13 in a squash, when the Nation chose who they were going to send out, they sent the two small white boys. I found it funny, for that reason.   - The Undertaker defeated Savio Vega by DQ, after the Nation interfered and beat up Taker. The match sucked, and the lights took forever to go off during Undertaker's entrance. I'll get to the angles on the show at the end, after match thoughts.   - RVD beat Jeff Hardy with a split-legged moonsault. He did a giant splash during the match, but that wasn't the finish. Of note (outside of RVD making an appearance on RAW) was RVD's entrance music, you know, the ECW song where Heyman goes all EXTREME....CHAMPIONSHIP....WRESTLING. It's in the FPR ECW videos, if you don't know what I'm talking about.   - It was never announced whether this was a tag title match or not, but this elimination match was Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. The Headbangers vs. The New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon. The match was kinda shitty, because it cut to commercial in the middle. Owen and the Bulldog won the match, too. So I guess it didn't matter whether or not it was a title match. Now, for the angles/interviews, which are in no order, simply because it didn't matter. The Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels thing ended the show, as Hart was just talking to Shawn. That sucked.   - Faarooq cut a promo in the ring, on the Undertaker. After that, the Undertaker cut a promo on Faarooq, on the TitanTron. This was after Taker's match.   - Mankind came out along with a burnt Paul Bearer, to give the Undertaker a warning, before divulging a secret. I'm pretty sure what this leads to.   - Steve Austin came out and cut a promo on Brian Pillman. You have to cut the ass off a snake first. So, for the Hart Foundation, he'll start with Brian Pillman. Best part of the show.   - There was also Part 2 of that Dustin Rhodes interview, which I really didn't care about.   I think that's it. Anyway, this show wasn't too hot. Next time I'll write this stuff down, because I'm sure I forgot something. That's why there aren't any star ratings. ___________________   Now, Nitro.   - The Ultimo Dragon forced Juventud Guerrera to submit in a fun bout, for Dragon's TV Title. Juvi's mask sucks. This match didn't.disappoint, and ended with the Dragon Sleeper.   - US Champ Dean Malenko defeated Steve McMichael, after interference from Reggie White. I never want to watch the Mongo/White match. Ever. Reggie White's appearances embarass me. Reggie cut a promo after the match. It sucked.   - Wrath squashed Scotty Riggs. I hate Riggs. James Vandenburg came out, along with Mortis before the match, and Vandenburg told us Wrath's name. Glacier came out after the match, and looked menacing. Nobody cared.   - In the last match, Hugh Morrus and Konnan defeated Ice Train and Alex Wright. Wright was totally uninterested in tagging with Ice Train. Teddy Long looked fat. Also, Morrus got cold feet before attempting to moonsault Ice Train. He got up top and went all...I can't do it. Ice Train blows. Also, I love when Alex Wright does that stupid dance. Makes me laugh every time.   - For angles, Randy Savage came out and ran down DDP. Nothing in that.   - Roddy Piper, Kevin Greene and Ric Flair come to the ring and talk...until Syxx, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall appeared on a video screen and ran them down, until the video cut to commercial. My original thought was, those guys are definitely in the building...   - And then, the aformentioned members of the NWO attacked Roddy Piper. THOUGHT SO.   - Lastly, Eric Bischoff and Fake Sting came to the ring, to make fun of/talk trash about the real Sting. So Sting comes down the aisleway, and beats up Fake Sting, which causes Eric Bischoff to run away. That ended the show.   Neither was better this time. Both RAW and Nitro sucked. ___________________   Lastly, we have ECW. No, not the ECW on 24/7. The ECW that was on Sci-Fi last night. Yeah, I buckled, and I'm going to start watching WWE's product again. I knew this would happen. We'll see how it turns out. There are two reasons for this.   1. I am not missing Ric Flair's last run. No way, no how.   2. There are a few "younger" (meaning future stars) who I like, so I'd like to watch them, as well.   Ok, so...   - To start the show, Armando Alejandro Estrada brings out Chavo Guerrero. What's this about? Well, I guess Chavo got sick of hearing about CM Punk, or something. Anyway, the Cuban guy makes a match for later, which will be Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk, and if Chavo wins, he gets an ECW Title Shot. I really hate when a company books the, "if you win, you get a title shot" match. Just do. And also, where did Estrada's accent go? It's gone, isn't it. - Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore and Kelly Kelly defeated John Morrison, The Miz (both preceding are Smackdown Tag Team Champions), and Layla. During the ring entrances, I wondered, why am I watching this shit again? The reasons are self explanatory, if you watch the WWE. If you don't, well, Yang's entrance music is shit, John Morrison looks like a homosexual, and the Miz is the Miz. By, "John Morrison looks like a homosexual," I'm talking about during his entrance. There is absolutely no reason to slow down the video so that we can see his hair blow in the fake wind gusts that come out through the stage. The match was decent, and ended when Yang gave the Miz a moonsault block, for the pin. **1/4. Wang and Moore will face Morrison and the Miz in a 15 minutes of fame match next week, which entails that the team which wins the most falls will win the match. Anyway, the Miz sucks.   - Then, Big Daddy V squashed some white kid. I don't know or care what his name was.   - Shelton Benjamin beats James Curtis...this match was WAY too long. Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is cool, though, unlike his catch phrase. It was smart of him to change his hairstyle, it helps to distinguish him from any other generic wrestler.   - Last, CM Punk defeated Chavo Guerrero by countout. I was flipping back and forth between Dirty Jobs and this during most of the matches, that's why there isn't a rating for anything but the first. Hey, I like Dirty Jobs. Great show. Chavo looks flabby without being on steroids. Drastically different, but that's ok. Don't do drugs.   When there are games on (Lakers or Kings) I'll be flipping back and forth during these shows. But what I saw tonight was good, and I'll keep watching. A positive to the brand extension is that I can just ignore what I don't like watching. A negative is that I quit watching in the first place because I could just ignore shows I don't like watching. We'll see how long I keep watching for. Could only be until Flair retires, who knows. ___________________   So, yeah, that's what I've watched since the last review I posted. The next few of these may not be as in-depth as this one, I don't know. Just generally whatever I think about something, and sometimes, I don't think about anything during a particular match. This kinda turned into what I didn't want it to turn into towards the end. Too review-ish, but that was because I forgot a few things about RAW and Nitro. The next one will not be that way. I'll post the Bash at the Beach '94 review on Friday.
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Review: WCW Starrcade: BattleBowl/The Lethal Lottery, from Atlanta, Georgia, 12/28/1992.

Oh yeah, BATTLEBOWL!!!! I'm tempted to make an out battle beat joke, but I can't do it. ___________________   It's JIM ROSS and JESSE VENTURA on commentary. This is the best possible combination of commentators in wrestling history. Eric Bischoff comes on screen to inform us that Rick Rude will not be able to contend for the WCW Title tonight. Well, gee. Instead, it's going to be Steve Williams. Not quite sure how I feel about that. ___________________   Tony Schiavone's in the ring with Bill Watts and Hank Aaron...this is funny, and surely in the way that you're probably thinking of. Considering how Aaron got Watts fired, and all. The winner of BATTLEBOWL gets a ring next year, so Sting, who won the last BATTLEBOWL, gets a ring this year. That was a serious WTF, I mean, why not just present the ring to the winner of this year's BATTLEBOWL tonight? Anyway, Sting gets his ring and all. As a result of winning last year's BATTLEBOWL, Sting is automatically drawn into a match as part of the Lethal Lottery. And now...we go to Larry Zbybyszszszko and Missy Hyatt, for the first 4 names drawn in the LETHAL LOTTERY. ___________________   The first match is...VAN FUCKING HAMMER and Dangerous Dan Spivey vs. Cactus Jack and Johnny B. Badd.   Wow. I know the Lethal Lottery wasn't legit, but one could believe that it was, with the combinations that get spit out. At the end of the match, Van Hammer's pinning Cactus, but Hammer gets up when Badd comes in, and that causes Badd to elbowdrop Cactus Jack. Cactus then pushes Badd, but gets punched in the face, causing Van Hammer to get the roll-up and 3 count at 6:51. Spivey and Van Hammer are into the final stage of BattleBowl. On a side note, the dubbed entrance music for all the participants is quite catchy. *1/2. On another side note, Badd looks so homosexual that I nearly forgot to mention it in passing. It was like, "yeah, he looked gay." Not even anything more than that. ___________________   The second matchup of the teams drawn by Zbyszko and Hyatt is Dustin Rhodes and Big Van Vader w/Harley Race vs. Kensuke Sasaki and the Barbarian. More weird stuff on the surface, BUT, Dustin Rhodes faced Vader in the King of Cable Semifinals. Something to watch for.   Dustin Rhodes is really over. Really. Anyway, Sasaki's not very well inclined to be doing a match over here. Nobody knew who he was. Barbarian and Vader are stiff as fuck, so this is pretty good stuff, albeit short. Barbarian accidentally runs into Sasaki, who's on the ring apron, so he gets rolled up by Rhodes for 3 at 6:56. I thought for sure that Sasaki would take the fall. Like I said, I try hard not to think about or look for results of the events that get posted on this channel. Something like this show was very easy to forget. Match was **. After the match, Race and Vader attack Dustin. Race gives him a kneedrop, after Vader gives him a clothesline. What nice guys. ___________________   The next result of the draw is Barry Windham and THE GREAT MUTA vs. 2 Cold Scorpio and Flyin' Brian. I love that second team.   Scorpio does a bit of crazy shit throughout, namely a slingshot 450 kneedrop. I shit you not. Muta and Windham are clearly saving some energy for later. Windham gives Scorpio a lifted DDT, and Muta comes off the top rope with a moonsault for the finish at 6:59. **1/4. Short and energetic, which is certainly nothing to complain about. ___________________   The last Lethal Lottery match, obviously featuring Sting...is he and Steve Williams vs. Jushin Lyger and "you had me until right there" Erik Watts.   The main thing I'm sure people (Smues included) want to know about the match was...was the DROPKICK that bad. Yes. Yes it was. Watts kicked his opponent with one foot, in the knee. Not to mention, he looked like he was standing up. I was laughing so hard that I didn't even see who he kicked. I think it was Lyger. Anyway, he gave another dropkick to someone, which looked shitty too, if not as bad. It's really hard to say I've seen a worse dropkick than the famed WATTS DROPKICK. The rest of the match was solid. Watts gave Williams a shitty STF that he sold like death, which really bothered me. So after reaching the ropes, Williams gave Watts a hotshot, to win the match at 9:08. I can't believe anyone would let Bill Watts push his son like that. Awful isn't the best word to describe Erik. It was just as bad watching JUSHIN FUCKING LYGER be his tag partner, and have to make the hot tag to Watts. Honestly, the first three participants I named are 3 of 4 guys who would be in a dream match. I can't rate it too poorly. *3/4, with stars obviously knocked off because of Watts participation. ___________________   So, the final eight who will be in BATTLEBOWL are Dan Spivey, Van Hammer, Big Van Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, the Great Muta, Sting and Steve Williams. ___________________   Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko talk about the upcoming match between The Great Muta and Masahiro Chono for the NWA Title. Well look, here it is! The NWA Title is the Big Gold Belt, FWIW.   Ok, that was dogshit. Bad as it was, I thought it would be like this. The style of the match isn't going to cater to an American fanbase. It was puro-ish. Not only that, but the finishing sequence blew dog dick. Chono won with the STF at 12:49. It seemed much longer than that. Much. It's kinda hard to rate this, because of the way it went. I'll just call it a DUD and leave it at that. If I was able to write a full review, it would sound like this is a great match. It really wasn't. Both were lazy as hell. ___________________   We clip to a WCW Saturday Night...well, clip, that talks about Rick Rude's US Title possibly being stripped as a result of the herniated disk in his back, and the same may be the case for his status as the #1 Contender for the WCW Championship. Rude then comes to ringside during the "live" feed, and says that WCW is conspiring against him. He wound up being stripped of the title and didn't wrestle until April. ___________________   The next match is the match that Rude was scheduled to participate in, for the WCW Title. I'd like to have seen what would've happened had Rude been available for this show. It's Steve Williams vs. Ron Simmons.   Jim Ross has about 20 orgasms during this match while talking about OU and FSU. I wasn't surprised in the least. It's a very strange, long match. Too long. Williams works Simmons over, and given Simmons limitations, it's not as pretty as when Williams does it to better workers. The formula doesn't quite work. Not only that, it's really, really slow. When Simmons does his Hogan-esque charge, he gives Williams a spinebuster, and returns the favor from earlier, with a few chopblocks. Williams did that a few minutes ago, see. Simmons flies through the ropes to the floor, and now they brawl on the outside. Simmons accidentally clotheslines the ringpost, and that leads to a Double Countout at 15:12. Both wrestlers fight after the match, and Williams gives Simmons a face smash to the canvas off the top rope, which causes the referee to change his decision to a DQ win for Ron Simmons. The crowd liked that. They liked Simmons too, which explains why they liked that. Anyway, I thought it was a pretty shitty finish. You can't give your babyface champ a clean win at Starrcade? But this is WCW, so I shouldn't be surprised. *1/2. ___________________   Tony and Larry are on again, talking about the tag title match. See, Barry Windham attacked the champions at Clash XXI, after losing the titles to them while teamed with Dustin Rhodes. Anyway, WCW's tag team scene in 1992 was great. ___________________   So, yeah, the next match is Flyin' Brian and Barry Windham vs. Shane Douglas and Ricky Steamboat for the WCW World Tag Team Titles.   Here's what I noticed during the match, that was only somewhat related to the match itself. The floor is disgusting. Shane Douglas was thrown out of the ring, and when he came back in, his back was blackened with dirt and food crumbs. Gross. For things related to the match...the heat segments were awesome. Really great stuff. Windham and Pillman (mostly Windham) just beat the shit out of Douglas and Steamboat between hot tags. Yes, there were two. First heat segment was with Douglas, and the second with Steamboat. My only complaint is that after the second hot tag, the finish came a bit too quickly. But as far as tag team wrestling goes, it's hard to find many matches better than this. Douglas cleaned house when tagging in, and Steamboat gave Windham a crossbody which put both guys out to the ramp that was connected to the ring in the old WCW days. Then Douglas gave Pillman that belly-to-belly suplex of his, to finish the match at 20:02. This pretty much rocked it. I read somewhere that Scott Keith gave this **1/4. He must've been on drugs. This was an easy ****1/4. Easy. If you like tag team wrestling, it's worth looking for this match. Douglas really could take a beating then. ___________________   Prior to Big Van Vader w/Harley Race vs. Sting in the King of Cable Final, we get a clip of Sting attacking Vader at one of the WCW TV shows. Probably WCW Saturday Night.   This is another fantastic match. There are many great spots, and I'll name all of them. Sting gives Vader a german suplex, putting Vader on his head. That was worth a YO. After that, he clotheslines Vader over the top rope, which knocks Vader's mask off. Then, Sting comes back into the ring quickly, and pescado's onto both Vader and Race. That's certainly not the last of the WOW spots. Sting places Vader on the top later, and gives him a DDT from up there. Not Randy Orton style, I mean he followed him up there and gave him a DDT. That was great. Moving on, Vader's standing at the guardrail, and Sting tries a STINGER SPLASH. Unfortunately, he misses, and now Vader goes to work. I've gotta say, Ross' commentary throughout the match is fantastic. I can't quote it, because it doesn't give off the same vibe as the desperate situation he describes the match to be. Vader's giving Sting a real beating now. Vader's giving Sting rights and lefts, but Sting's doing the rope-a-dope strategy, much like Ross says. Vader tries for a superplex later, but he gets pushed off by Sting. Because Sting's so beaten up, he falls off too. Sting then gives Vader a huge samoan drop, and gets a splash off the top rope for 2. Vader then returns the favor with a chokeslam after Race distracts Sting, and gives him a big splash from the top. Vader goes for another, but Sting pops up, and gives him a powerslam in mid-move, for the win at 16:50. Sting's the KING OF CABLE. ****1/2. That's probably one of my favorite matches. It would've been better had Vader been in full-on WHO'S THE MAN mode, but he wasn't, yet. Everything about the match was great. ___________________   Now it's time for BATTLEBOWL. Ok, Tony talked to Paul Hornung before the event...and during the conversation, he said this PPV was on Monday, the 28th of December. MONDAY? What the hell?   The eight participants in BATTLEBOWL are Dan Spivey, Van Hammer, Big Van Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, the Great Muta, Sting and Steve Williams.   Unfortunately, I couldn't keep times, and wikipedia didn't keep elimination times either, so I don't have them. I only have the order of elimination. Before the match, Vader attacked Sting on the entrance ramp. Heh. Sting's then on the ropes, and Vader charges into the ring, taking Sting with him. Van Hammer gets thrown out by Steve Williams, as Dustin Rhodes bulldogs Barry Windham on the ramp. Yeah, that broke something of Windham's, as you could see when he was bleeding later in the match. Sting puts Spivey out, and then, Vader charges into Sting, knocking both he and Sting out. They fight to the back or something, but I was surprised by Windham's blood, so I didn't notice it. The final four are Rhodes, Windham, Muta and Williams. Dustin and Barry beat the crap out of each other, until Williams knocks himself and Rhodes over the top rope. So it's the partners from earlier, Windham and Muta. The crowd liked that. Windham gives Muta a superplex, and then dropkicks Muta over the top. Windham's celebrating, BUT, Muta skins the cat back in, and gives Windham two dropkicks to send him out of the ring. The Great Muta is the winner of BATTLEBOWL. And that's the end of the show, too. 6/10 for a less than spectacular battle royal. ___________________   Rating: Good. It's a must watch show because of the two FANTASTIC matches, but the retardedness of BattleBowl isn't something I would have paid the PPV amount for. When reviewing these, I try to think of the overall rating from the mindset of what I would have thought had I paid the full price for the PPV. I may not have even bought it because of BattleBowl. That's a bad thing. I know I wouldn't have bought BattleBowl '93, although I really want to see it now. Nostalgia factor, and all.   Best Segment: Vader vs. Sting in the King of Cable Final. It was awesome.   Worst Segment: Uh, outside of Erik Watts' dropkick, it has to be Muta vs. Chono. It was awful.   Loudest Sound: Dustin Rhodes, Cactus Jack, Sting, and Vader.   No Sound: Masa Chono, Dan Spivey and Van Hammer, Erik Watts, and Kensuke Sasaki. ___________________   I'll be typing up the Bash at the Beach review in a few days. I'm not promising anything, but if I'm able, I'll post thoughts and not a review about the other shows that are on 24/7 this week.
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Review: WWE No Mercy 2007, from Chicago, Illinois, 10/7/2007.

I wanted to watch this, so... ___________________   At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon and William Regal come to the ring. They talk about John Cena's injury, and present a new WWE Champion, who just so happens to be Randy Orton. Yay! Not really, though. He stands there for a long time, and William Regal congratulates him. Orton's supposed to pick who he defends his title against tonight, BUT, Triple H comes down to the ring. He congratulates Orton, but he wants a title match. Orton says no...so HHH makes fun of Vince. And he gets his title shot, right now. The long-ish opening is too much like RAW, meaning that I don't like it. ___________________   So, yeah, it's HHH vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title. It's a good match, albeit a bit truncated, given the later events of the night. No PEDIGREE, no RKO. HHH pins Orton after a roll-up, when Orton charges into the ringpost, on accident, through the 2nd and top turnbuckles. Time of the fall was 11:06, and it was a ***1/4 match. The ending surprised me, as although I knew the results of the event before hand, I didn't know how the results were had. So that was cool. HHH celebrates for a long time, and we cut to... ___________________   Vince being disappointed in Orton, backstage. Then, a WrestleMania XXIV promo. Ok. ___________________   The next match is a surprise match, between Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion), Paul London and Brian Kendrick, who are facing Mr. Kennedy, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade (World Tag Team Champions, meaning the latter two). There were many cool spots in this match, too many to count, at that. I liked when Hardy did the spot where he runs along the guardrail to jump onto his opponent, but in this case, he tripped and fell at the end. I don't think he was trying to do that. Anyhow, Kennedy ended the match by pinning London after the GREEN BAY PLUNGE, at 8:05. That move looks tough to take. **. ___________________   HHH and Batista encounter each other backstage, until Vince McMahon shows up. He says HHH has to defend his title against Umaga tonight. Vince and HHH have the same looking nose. It's creepy. ___________________   The next match is Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker vs. CM Punk for the ECW Title. Good thing this was short, cause I can't look at Viscera for very long. Striker interferes after a Punk missile dropkick, and that gets V DQ'd, at 1:37. So, why is this on PPV again? DUD. V beats up Punk after the match, and Punk does the whole internal bleeding thing. Just, whatever. ___________________   Matt Hardy and MVP have a pizza eating contest next. Maria is going to keep score for Hardy, and Melina is going to keep score for MVP. Hardy wins, and barfs on MVP. MVP had a REALLY hard time not laughing when Hardy did that. Really. Short, and to the point. Well, it really wasn't, but why should I say more? ___________________   A video package precedes the following match between Umaga and HHH for the WWE Title. Of course, the video was about their 'feud'. HHH pins him with the PEDIGREE at 6:33, after Umaga gave him some tough shots to the ribs. Standard RAW match, so there's really not much to say. *1/2. ___________________   Saveus.22 promo. That's been a real success. ___________________   A promo follows, with Ranjin Singh, Khali's manager. Khali is praying to some Hindu god of violence. I thought this was going to be the Punjabi Prison match. It's not, thankfully. ___________________   This is the first Smackdown match of the night. Well, it took long enough. Who the fuck is this ring announcer? He sucks. Anyway, the match is Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio. There's an elaborate ending, so it'll take a while to explain. Rey kicks Finlay in the head with Finlay on the apron, so he drops down, throat first along the 2nd rope. Basically in 619 position. Rey went up to the top and gave Finlay a legdrop, which caused Finlay to hit his head on the ground, outside the ring. So he's knocked unconscious and all, except he's faking the injury. No time given, because the bell never rang to end the match. You could see him peek his head up, deliberately so, so that the viewers at home knew he was faking. Anyway, he gets put on a stretcher, Rey gets all sad, the referee gives the X, and the crowd starts chanting "Finlay." UNTIL, Finlay gets off the stretcher, and attacks Rey. HARHARHAR. I actually liked that. He beats him up bad, until he leaves. **1/2. Match was sound, but not spectacular. ___________________   Vince and HHH again, as Vince tells HHH he'll face Orton in a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH. I generally HATE Last Man Standing matches. ___________________   Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle is next, for the Women's Title. The battle of terrible theme music!!! Phoenix finishes the match with a fisherman's buster at 4:32, in a finish that only establishes that one, if not both of these wrestlers do not know how to work. It was spot, spot, lay around, Phoenix spot, finish. DUD's are in order. Jerry "the King" Lawler interviews Beth Phoenix after the match, she's perfect and this is a new era...but who cares? ___________________   NOW, we have the Punjabi Prison match between The Great Khali and Batista, for the World Heavyweight Championship. There's one thing I just don't get...why weren't the rules explained? At least, I don't think they were. The rules are...you go through the first of the two cages, to get through the first, you call for a door to be opened. You have a minute to get through, or the door is locked, and closed. There are four doors. If you do not get through the doors, you must climb over the first cage. To win the match, you have to climb over both cages. Basically, this is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever seen in wrestling. The match is really bad, and really slow. No wonder Rey was in the last PPV Title Match. All the doors get closed, so both wrestlers have to climb over the first cage. Batista tries to climb out, but Khali pulls him down to the ring, at which point, Khali climbs over the first cage. As he begins to climb up the 2nd cage, Batista climbs up the first, eventually getting over it. As Batista climbs down, he realizes that he needs to make a rash decision. So, he jumps from the top area of the first cage, all the way to the 2nd cage. Batista makes it down to the floor first, because he's much smaller. Honestly, I wouldn't have been too sad had Batista fallen to the ground. I don't care for him. Anyway, Batista retains his title. DUD, and only because of that insane leap. That kept it from sure -*'s. 14:47 was the time. ___________________   The last match of the night is Randy Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title, but before the match, HHH has an interview with Todd Grisham. This is a dangerous business, and all that. Anyway, I'll just give the rundown of the big spots. HHH pushes Orton onto the ECW announce table from the RAW announce table, which gets a 9 count. In case you didn't know, the only way to win the match is if your opponent stays down for a 10 count. But I think you already know that. Orton DDT's HHH onto a chair, which gets 9 for both guys. An RKO into a chair, much like Raven does/did with the droptoehold into the chair, gets a 9 count. HHH tells Orton to suck it, and falls back down, for a 9 count. Orton slingshots HHH into the ringpost, at which point HHH does a bladejob. These events are in order, but stuff happens between them. HHH hits Orton in the head with the chair, and in an event that's hard to describe, Orton's head is placed between the portion of the steel steps where it connects to the ringpost, and HHH hits him there with a chair. That looked cool. Crowd is loving this, but it only gets a 9 count. Both men climb on the RAW announce table, and Orton gives HHH an RKO. It doesn't break the announce table, though. Still, that's it. HHH can't get up at the 10 count, and Orton wins the WWE Title, at 20:25. ****1/4, and a hell of a match, although LMS matches are never my favorite. Saved the end of the PPV, too. ___________________   Rating: Good. Two *** matches in this day and age gives a PPV a good rating. Not only that, but it was enjoyable throughout.   Best Segment: Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match.   Worst Segment: Batista vs. Khali in a Punjabi Prison Match.   Loudest Sound: HHH, Randy Orton, Batista and Finlay's attack on Rey. Like I said, I try to put two babyfaces and two heels over here.   No Sound: Big Daddy V, Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Umaga. None of them got a reaction. ___________________   I'll post the Starrcade '92 review tomorrow. My hand's not feeling any better, unfortunately.
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Review: WCW/nWo Starrcade 1998, from Washington, DC, 12/27/1998.

Ok, I tried, I just can't do the full version. I'm pissed off about it, but what can I do? I took notes, though, so someday, I'll flush this one out and do it the right way. ___________________   The usuals are on commentary, Tony, Bobby and Tenay. The Four Horsemen have been banned from the building by Bischoff, and Mean Gene talks about the WCW Hotline. Which isn't active, as the giant black box on the screen says. ___________________   The first match was Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kidman, in a Triangle Match for the WCW Cruiserweight Title. It was overly spotty, but that's what I expected. In that context, I was surprised at how slow it seemed. Anyway, the ending went like this. Eddie Guerrero came to the ring, and reversed Kidman's rollup as the referee was distracted. The referee came in, but the count only got two, as Rey dropkicked Juvi in the face, allowing Kidman to retain his Cruiserweight Title, at 14:54. ***1/2, with a very fun ending, which tied into the next match. Anyhow, Eddie tells Rey and Juvi that they suck. They aren't LWO material, and Kidman's a dweeb. So he needs to come out here... ___________________   Kidman comes out to the ring, and he's going to face Eddie Guerrero, for Kidman's WCW Cruiserweight Title. More of the same, but with a defined heel and face. See, there are things that people can like about Juvi, but not Eddie. He's a real dickhead. Eddie's bodyguard came out to the ring, so the ref's distracted. Juvi crotches Kidman, but Rey pushes Eddie off the top, crotching him along the top rope. Eddie falls to the canvas and Kidman gives him the SHOOTING STAR PRESS, for 3, at 10:47. ***1/2. The first 30 minutes of the show was great. And now it goes WAY downhill. ___________________   Video of Nash/Goldberg confrontations in previous weeks...not much to see. ___________________   The next match is Prince Iaukea vs. NORMAN SMILEY!!! I like Smiley, but why? Starrcade's supposed to be a blowoff show. Anyhow, this match is a steaming pile of shit. Iaukea sucks, and Smiley's style doesn't help matters. He's a mat wrestler, and Iaukea is anything but. Norman does the BIG WIGGLE 3 times throughout the match, and once after. Those were 3 of the 4 pops in the match. The 4th was at the finish, because the crowd was glad to see it end. A huge BORING chant got started during the match, but it died down after a while. Smiley won the match, when Iaukea tapped out to the NORMAN CONQUEST, at 11:32. That's a chickenwing, in case you didn't watch WCW back in the day. Entirely too long. 1/2*. ___________________   Scott Hall comes to the ring now, with no music. A man without music, and without a group. Or so he says. Hey, yo; 2 SWEET and all that. 1998 hasn't been the best for Hall, but '99 will be great. He only has to prove things to himself. Then he leaves. ___________________   Same Nash/Goldberg movie as the last one... ___________________   It's Ernest "the Cat" Miller w/Sonny Onoo vs. Perry Saturn. I like Saturn's music. What I don't like is Miller's cheap heat gimmick. That's all it is. Saturn finishes the bout with the Death Valley Driver at 7:06, after Sonny Onoo accidentally kicked Miller in the chest. Good thing it was short. All Miller did during the entire match was kick. *. Afterward, Miller and Onoo argued on their way to the back. ___________________   Mean Gene Okerlund's in the aisleway, and he interviews Ric Flair. Flair's not at all worried about the Four Horsemen being banned from the building. Bischoff's going to bleed, too.   Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell encounter Konnan in the back, and tell him that the Red and Black is dead. Lex Luger comes into the room, and keeps Konnan from fighting the other two. Konnan wants to know what's going on. We found out what was going on a few weeks later, didn't we? ___________________   We find out that Nash vs. Goldberg later on is going to be No DQ. Well that's great. The next match is Fit Finlay and Jerry Flynn vs. NWO Black and White's Brian Adams and Scott Norton w/Vincent. What's this WCW Saturday Night shit doing on my screen? A way's through, Flynn gets the hot-tag from Fit, kicks Vincent, but gets powerbombed by Norton, giving the NWO B-Teamers the win at 8:55. DUD, just because this shit doesn't belong on PPV. Come on, a JERRY FLYNN PPV match? ___________________   Mean Gene's with Eric Bischoff in the aisleway, and Bischoff's promo is ironically funny. All that "Flair didn't save a penny stuff, of course. ___________________   Before this match between Chris Jericho w/Ralphus and Konnan for the WCW TV Title, we flashback to Jericho beating up a Konnan impersonator on Nitro two weeks ago. This is the Jericho I like. He's awesome. Jericho comes to the ring wearing Konnan's TV Title. Cause he stole it, or something. Towards the end, we get a beltshot from Jericho to Konnan. The cover gets two, and Konnan comes back with a facebuster and the TEQUILA SUNRISE for the submission at 7:28. It was decent, **. Let's put it this way, there's been so much worse on this show. ___________________   From a WCW.com thing earlier in the day, the Giant got mad at Lee Marshall. He didn't hit him or anything. ___________________   This is Eric Bischoff vs. Ric Flair. Yeah, Bischoff goes over after Curt Hennig runs in during a ref bump and gives him a foreign object to hit Flair with, at 7:08. The less said, the better. Yes, it really was that bad. Crowd shit all over it, so that backs up my -** rating. This is a blowoff show where the babyfaces are supposed to win. Repeat that. ___________________   We're on to Part 2. ___________________   It's the "People's Champion" Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Giant. I can't believe they would so blatantly rip off the WWF with that People's Champ nonsense. Wait a minute...of course I believe it. This IS WCW. Every promotion that thinks they're the new WWF does it, with TNA being the worst offender. Page comes through the crowd to the ring, and we begin the match. It's really boring, IMO. The finish is nice, though. Ref bump, and Bret Hart comes to the ring, where he accidentally hits The Giant with a chair. They're both NWO 4 LIFE, see. Page chopblocks Bret, knocking Bret out of the ring. Now, The Giant places Page on the top turnbuckle, and tries to CHOKESLAM him, but Page reverses it to a DIAMOND CUTTER, which picks up the win at 12:45. While it was boring, at least Page went over. Giant's bearhug killed the positive momentum this match had at the beginning, so it's a *1/2 match. Like I said, it was going well until the middle. ___________________   The same Goldberg/Nash video precedes...Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg, for the WCW Heavyweight Title, in a match where there are No Disqualifications. Goldberg is 173-0, or so WCW says. Let's skip to the ending. Again, this match was fine until a certain point. Ref bump, and instantly, the entire crowd looks to the entrance way. Every match of importance hasn't ended clean. WCW doesn't care about Jericho, so that's not important. If you have your crowd trained to see interference coming like that, there's a problem. Disco Inferno came to the ring, and got SPEARED by Goldberg. Now Bam Bam Bigelow comes to the ring, and Goldberg clotheslines him over the top rope. But as security comes out to get rid of the hangers-on (Disco, Bam Bam), SCOTT HALL comes out, in a security outfit, and TASERS GOLDBERG. Then Nash gives Goldberg the JACKKNIFE, for 3, at 11:19. NEW CHAMPION, and the streak is OVER. It's a DUD. Just because of the way the entire show has gone. The crowd went apeshit for this, SO...I am unsure of whether or not this was a bad thing. The Fingerpoke was what killed the company. Aside from the overbooking, the match was decent. But you have to give someone the rub of pinning Goldberg clean...and that just didn't happen. You do that, you have a new star. It has to be someone young, not Nash. ___________________   Rating: Bad. The first 30 minutes saved this show from being one of the worst I've ever watched. Too much overbooking.   Best Segment: Cruiserweight stuff at the beginning. The matches were equally good, so I'll generalize it.   Worst Segment: Brian Adams and Scott Norton vs. Fit Finlay and Jerry Flynn. Just, no.   Loudest Sound: Nash's pop for winning the Title, Eddie Guerrero's heel heat before the promo he cut on the participants in the Triangle Match, Scott Hall's promo, and Ric Flair, along with Eric Bischoff.   No Sound: Fit Finlay and Jerry Flynn, Norman and Iaukea, and Ernest "the Cat" Miller. ___________________   I'm only going to do this for the PPV's and MSG shows that get posted, because my hand isn't holding up too well throughout this. RAW's, Nitro's, and all that other stuff won't get reviewed. I'm disappointed about that, but oh well. I don't know what'll be next, but it'll be a few days.
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Review: WWE Tribute to the Troops 2006, from Iraq.

Ok, I didn't do this for a while, because, honestly, there wasn't much on to watch. I like to interview a lot of stuff in a row, every day, more like. ___________________   It's Tribute to the Troops from Iraq, so hopefully, the guys put on a good show for the soldiers. That's the main reason I'm interested in watching this, in the first place. JR and the King are on commentary.   The first match, and first segment on the show from Iraq, is a non-title match, between Edge (RAW Tag Team Champion) and John Cena (WWE Champion). Sounds good.   Blow-by-blow: Cena applies a headlock at the beginning of the match, and takes Edge down to the canvas. Edge lifts him up into the air, and Cena does it again. Cena gives Edge a shoulderblock, and we go to the chinlock, early. It doesn't last long, so Edge slaps Cena across the face. Edge gives Cena a forearm, and a shoulderblock of his own. Cena comes back with a hiptoss, and then a scoop slam, followed by an elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Cena misses a charge to the corner, so Edge gives him a DDT. He goes for the "10 punch in the corner," but Cena stops him at #3, and drops Edge face-first onto the turnbuckle. Cena gives Edge a suplex, but it only gets a 2 count. Cena misses a backdrop, so Edge gives him a clothesline. A "you suck" chant gets going, obviously in the direction of Edge. Edge covers Cena for 2, and puts Cena on the ring apron. Cena slugs away, and goes up top, and an poke of the eye by Edge knocks Cena down to the floor. Edge gives Cena a baseball slide, as we go to a   commercial break.   We're back, as Edge has Cena locked in a body scissors. The soldiers bless us with a "CENA" chant, so Cena powers out of the hold. Cena then gives Edge a "Throwback," but Edge comes back quickly with a big boot for 2. Edge goes out to the floor and grabs a chair, but the referee takes it away before he can use it. A Cena rollup gets 2, and Edge comes back with a clothesline, and elbowdrop to the back for 2. Edge gives Cena a spinning leg lariat for 2, and applies the camel clutch. JR's thinking the same thing I am, that it's funny he's doing that move in the Middle East, and all. Cena powers out, of course, and falls back onto Edge, who lands hard on the canvas. The two wrestlers now slug it out, and Cena gets the best of it. He gives Edge two flying shoulderblocks, and then the "Killswitch" for 2. I'm getting these names in quotations off wikipedia, in case you were wondering. Cena then gives Edge the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE, which the soldiers go nuts for. Cena rams Edge hard into the buckle, and goes for the F-U, but Edge counters with a jumping DDT for 2. It didn't look like his finisher, so I won't call it that. Edge goes up top and Cena tries to give him the F-U from UP THERE, but Edge counters the move into a modified electric chair drop from the top. Edge tries for the SPEAR, but misses, ramming himself into the corner, so Cena gives him the F-U for the victory at 14:01 (what was shown). The enthusiasm of the soldiers during each of the matches on this show makes me feel warm inside. It's nice to see.   Match Analysis: Liked it very much, and I bet these two could do better. Note: I haven't seen any of their other matches. The time period of this match is a dark period to me. Easy ***. It's nice to get a match like this on the show. ___________________   Video of General Casey coming to the ring, and saying thanks to the WWE, and then, talking about how the country can be proud of our soldiers. Then we see pictures of the talent with the soldiers, and we cut to CM Punk saying "happy holidays" to everyone at home. Shelton Benjamin does the same, but like he doesn't even want to be there. "That it?" These two are up next!!! ___________________   Yeah, it's CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin. Sounds good.   Blow-by-blow: Punk gives Shelton a quick armdrag, and Shelton tries to slam Punk afterward. But Punk counters it into an armdrag, and pushes Shelton down to the canvas. Punk Irish whips Shelton, but Shelton goes all.....STOP, and ducks out of the ring, under the bottom rope. Shelton acts like he's going to leave the area, but Punk runs out quickly and tosses him back into the ring. Punk gives Shelton a few forearms, but Shelton rams Punk shoulderfirst into the ringpost. Shelton begins to work on said shoulder, by ramming him arm first into the buckle. Shelton gives Punk a shoulderbreaker, and applies an armbar. Shelton pulls Punk down to the canvas by his hair, which gets 2. Shelton goes back to work on the arm, until Punk powers out of the hold, and gives Shelton a leg lariat. He clotheslines Shelton and gives him a few high knees, then rams Shelton into the buckle. He kinda charges into Shelton, and gives him the running bulldog for 2. Punk goes up top, and Shelton gives him a pop-up springboard superplex for 2. That was NICE. Shelton misses the SHELTON SPLASH (that's a lame name), and Punk gets the roll-up for 3 at 4:47.   Match Analysis: Typically I hate out of nowhere finishes, right? But since the match was so short, it wasn't really out of nowhere, considering it took place during the finishing sequence. It was **1/4. I would LOVE to see these two in a 20 minute match. Is Shelton any good on the stick? If so, he's being WASTED. ___________________   It's Johnny Nitro w/Melina vs. The Undertaker. The fans wanted to see Melina's whole deal when she gets on the apron, but Nitro covers her up to make sure they can't. Taker doesn't go through his whole entrance, either.   Blow-by-blow: Nitro avoids being crushed by Taker, until he corners Taker, and beats him up. Taker picks him up, and does the same to him in the corner, and applies an armbar afterward. Taker gives him a knucklelock slam, and takes Nitro to the buckle, where Taker gives him OLD SCHOOL. Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but Melina gets on the apron to distract. She screams a whole bunch, and Nitro gives Taker an enziguri. Nitro gives Taker a dropkick, but he gets clotheslined, and taken hard to the buckle. Taker gives him SNAKEEYES, and a big boot. Of course, the CHOKESLAM and TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER finish at 3:57.   Match Analysis: It was what the troops wanted to see, that being a squash. *1/2. ___________________   Now the national anthem with Lillian Garcia is shown...and then the soldiers talk about their experience in Iraq, prior to the mortar attack that took place near the makeshift arena they were going to build. Yeah, a mortar attack. Sheesh. ___________________   The next match on the show is Hardcore Holly vs. Bobby Lashley (ECW Champion) in a non-title bout. Holly's looking a bit too old to pull off the tough guy role they're probably still having him play.   Blow-by-blow: Lashley gives Holly a press slam, so Holly decides he wants to test Lashley's strength. They lock-up, and quickly, Holly kicks him in the gut. Lashley gives him a shoulderblock, and a snap suplex for 2. Lashley then gives Holly a delayed vertical suplex for 2, and Holly bails to the outside. Lashley tries to follow with a baseball slide, but misses, and Holly rams him into the steel steps. Back inside, Holly rams Lashley into the turnbuckle, and applies an armbar. Holly wraps Lashley's around the 2nd rope, presumably working on it, trying to make him submit. Lashley gives Holly a belly-to-belly suplex, and a shoulderblock. Lashley gives Holly a clothesline, and a discus punch to the back of the neck. He then gives Holly a torture rack backbreaker, and another snap suplex for 2. Holly chops Lashley, and Lashley misses a charge to the corner. Holly tries to give him the ALABAMA SLAM, but Lashley rolls through the hold, turning it into a sunset flip, which gets 2. Lashley gives him a "Bulldog" style powerslam, and that gets 3, at 6:27.   Match Analysis: I don't think Lashley's very good, but I can't say so for sure. His moveset is so thin that he repeated a move. Not only that, he reeks of blandness. 3/4*. ___________________   Interview with an Iraqi Army Captain...I was being talked to, so I didn't catch what he said...and then Chris Masters talks about the Masterlock Challenge later on. ___________________   The next match is a non-title bout, between UMAGA and Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion). Umaga's cool, I guess.   Blow-by-blow: Umaga gives Hardy a back elbow, and then misses a clothesline. He also misses a crossbody, and Hardy goes for a sunset flip. Umaga tries to sit on Hardy, but Hardy gives him a seated dropkick. Umaga bails out, and Hardy gives him a baseball slide, and a pescado. Umaga catches him on the pescado though, and rams him into the ringpost and steel steps. Umaga gives him a headbutt, and a legdrop. He then gives Hardy a kick to the back, and quickly applies a nervehold, before giving Hardy a samoan drop. Umaga goes up top, but misses the big splash. Hardy gives him a few clotheslines and a dropkick, but it's not putting Umaga down. He gives Umaga a jawbreaker, and WHISPER IN THE WIND, which finally puts Umaga down, for the 2 count. I wanted to capitalize Umaga's name throughout the review, but it's too hard. I might do it in the future. Umaga goes for the SAMOAN SPIKE, but Hardy avoids it and eventually gets a TWIST OF FATE. Hardy goes for the SWANTON, but hits the knees of Umaga. Umaga gives him the running ass to face at the corner, and the SAMOAN SPIKE, which gets 3 at 5:51.   Match Analysis: The finish was anti-climatic, but the match was still fun. *3/4, and another match that could be better given time. ___________________   Carlito's talking to a female soldier, cause he's cool and all...prior to his match against Randy Orton (RAW Tag Team Champion).   Blow-by-blow: Orton doesn't look healthy when on the juice. That's just a first observation. Orton goes to the headlock, but Carlito reverses it, and comes back with a few left hands. Carlito gives Orton the 10 punch in the corner, and gives him an armdrag. Orton comes back with a dropkick, and then kicks him all over, prior to doing that pose of his. Have I ever mentioned how funny I find the pose? Orton gives Carlito a spinning side slam, and goes to the chinlock. See, before this match, I told my brother he'd do two of three moves. European uppercut, dropkick, and chinlock. I didn't pay attention to see if he did any European uppercuts, because once he did two of them, I quit looking for it. Carlito powers out and gives Orton a back suplex, and a few lefts. Carlito gives Orton a kneelift and clothesline, which gets a 2 count. Carlito gives him a springboard back elbow, which looks about as smooth as any springboard move I've seen. Orton quickly comes back with that Mike Sanders 3.0 backbreaker, and tries to give Carlito the RKO. He's unable to, and near the turnbuckle, Carlito tries the BACKSTABBER. He can't get that either, as Orton holds onto the ropes, preventing himself from being pulled down. Now Orton tries to pin Carlito with his feet on the ropes for 2, and once the referee catches him, Carlito springs up, and rolls Orton up, for 3, while holding Orton's tights and telling the crowd to hush and not ruin his win. Time of the fall was 5:07.   Match Analysis: Cute finish. Really, I loved it. *1/2. Kinda elaborate, but who cares. At least it didn't get screwed up. ___________________   Santa Claus comes to the ring, along with Maria, Crystal and Torrie Wilson. The troops oughta love that. They throw some panties in the crowd, and the troops fight over it. See? Chris Masters comes out, and he doesn't believe in Santa. He hates Christmas, too. Well, he's going to let Santa have a go at breaking the MASTERLOCK. Santa can't do it, so Masters throws him aside. Now, a troop named Jose Avila comes into the ring...yeah, he's tiny. Especially in comparison to Masters. Anyhow, Masters has him locked in, and JBL is SANTA CLAUS! He attacks Masters, and the soldier breaks the MASTERLOCK. Heh. I like how he jumped around and no-sold the move afterward. the MASTERLOCK'S BEEN BROKEN, BAH GAWD, says JR. And now, JBL gives Masters a CLOTHESLINE FROM BAGHDAD. See, I was going to write that once I saw the move, but the announce team stole the words from out of my mouth. ___________________   That's the end of the show, after pictures from Iraq. ___________________   Rating: Good. I thought the show was fun, and had decent matches. So yeah, good.   Best Segment: Cena vs. Edge   Worst Segment: Hardcore Holly vs. Bobby Lashley. Both suck.   Loudest Sound: Taker and Cena   No Sound: Nobody. Everyone was getting some sort of reaction. ___________________   NWA is next. I'm not reviewing the Christmas RAW, because it'll be up again when the MNW hits that point.
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Review: WWF Prime Time Wrestling, 12/21/92.

Problem with the shorties section, I'm not doing them. There's nothing obscure, and almost everything they're posting defeats the point of reviewing the entire shows that they're on when they get around to putting them up. Unless there's something like Flair/Perfect from the 3rd RAW, I'm not going to review it. That DOES mean I'll be adding Regal/Finlay to whatever else obscure gets put up. Sorry for that, what they're putting up is bugging the shit out of me, and I can barely even get around to watching it. ___________________   First match of 15, is Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji vs. Kevin Kruger. As I've said, I don't do squashes on the NWA or PTW shows. It ends at 2:something with a Banzai Drop. Sorry for the lack of time, I was caught in la-la-land about something that happened yesterday, and forgot to time it. *. ___________________   Reverend Slick(!) follows this up with a promo. WOW. Haven't seen the Rev. Slick gimmick in a LONG time. Great stuff. ___________________   The 2nd match is Big Bossman vs. Barry Hardy. DOINK THE CLOWN comes to the aisleway, and ties something to the guardrails. Well, Bossman wins after a Bossman Slam at 2:something (again, sorry). He goes to the back after handcuffing Hardy to the bottom rope, and we see what was tied onto the guardrails. It's a TRIPWIRE. I really laughed. Bossman trips over it, and Doink laughs at him. *. ___________________   Bill Koby faces Kamala w/Kimchee and Harvey Wippleman next. The big splash gets the pin at 1:56. Kamala couldn't quite figure out how to pin Koby, so they rolled around on the mat for a good sized portion of the match. RETARDED. DUD. The announcers said that Kamala's been different since losing to the Undertaker at Survivor Series. ___________________   Next up, is Rick "the Model" Martel vs. Brian Costello. Martel has the pink thing goin' here, of course. So, he finishes the match at 3:23, with a Boston Crab. At least he let Costello get some offense in. *1/2. ___________________   Gene Okerlund's at the promo area, and he's talking with the WWF Champion, Bret Hart. Bobby Heenan comes out, and introduces us to two wrestlers. One's Ric Flair. The other is Razor Ramon. And they both attack Bret, until Mr. Perfect comes out, to fend both off. It turns into a wild brawl, which the officials come out to break up. Afterward, we see a promo spot with Flair and Razor. Razor's Cuban accent is overly ridiculous at this point, I'm glad they let him tone it down. ___________________   Jameson comes out to the roundtable with Heenan, Jerry Lawler, Sgt. Slaughter and Hillbilly Jim...we'll skip past that. ___________________   The Nasty Boys take on Chris Allen and Gus Kantarakis next, and of course, Doink comes toward the ring again. The Nasties are babyfaces. I don't quite get that. Anyway, Knobs powerslams Allen, and Sags comes off the top giving Allen an elbowdrop, getting the Nasties the pinfall at 2:19. *1/4. Doink gives both Knobs and Sags a gift, one of the gifts being replica tag team titles, and the other being a picture of Money Inc. and Jimmy Hart. Ok.   After the bout and postmatch, there's an ad for WM IX, from the family entertainment capital of the world, Las Vegas. Now, if you think Vegas is somewhere you should take your family, raise your hand...   I don't think I would either. ___________________   Damien Demento squashes Kerry Davis at 2:13, with a neckbreaker and a kneedrop. During the match, the screen split, and one half showed a promo from Demento. TERRIBLE. DUD. Honestly, that's one of the worst gimmicks, if not the worst that I've ever seen. ___________________   Bam Bam Bigelow defeats Mike Collins, in the next match, after a headbutt from the top rope, at 2:24. You rate squashes like this. If you like the spots used, you rate it well. You don't, it sucks. Simple. *1/2. ___________________   The Undertaker and Paul Bearer are now talking about Nailz. They will make him rest in peace, and all that jazz. Good thing this never went anywhere. ___________________   A YOUNG Louie Spicolli takes on El Matador next. Wow, that was a surprise, Spicolli, that is. Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes put Yokozuna over HUGE as a threat to win the Royal Rumble. Not too surprising. Santana finishes the match with the Flying Jalapeno, at 2:49. *1/2. I have to say, everyone's entrance music is great. ___________________   Gene Okerlund has the rundown of the Royal Rumble, in which he announces 6 of the participants, in the Royal Rumble, of course. They are Tatanka, Ted DiBiase, the Undertaker, Bob Backlund, Yokozuna, and the Berzerker. The signing of Rick and Scott Steiner gets announced when the roundtable is shown again, and the two new wrestlers hype their match against the Beverly Brothers at the Royal Rumble. I kinda got lost here, but Mrs. Claus is supposed to be coming up to the roundtable soon. ___________________   The first non-squash match is Papa Shango vs. Marty Jannetty. Yay, Papa Shango!   Marty gives Shango an armwringer, and Shango responds with a chokehold. He misses a charge to the corner, but gets a backdrop anyway. Shango then gives Marty THREE elbowdrops, and applies a neckvice. Shango then misses another charge, and Marty beats him up a bit, until Shawn Michaels makes an appearance. Marty gives Shango a backdrop, but as Marty's distracted by Shawn, Shango gives him an axhandle to the back. Marty gives him two dropkicks, which put Shango on the floor, and then, Marty goes up top, and gives Shango a missile dropkick. Yes, from the top to the floor. Marty begins to chase after Shawn, and gives Shawn a hurricanrana in the aisleway. Unfortunately, he also loses the bout by countout, at 4:43. *, and only for Marty's missile dropkick. ___________________   Razor Ramon faces __________ next. No, the name of the other wrestler was not given, and it'll be impossible to find it. Anyway, he finishes the guy with a Razor's Edge at 2:47. The squashes here are of the short variety, making them good. *1/2. Razor abuses jobbers. ___________________   Mrs. Claus shows up on set, and gives Bobby Heenan a Jameson mug, because Heenan's been naughty. Heenan tells her that he can show her where they keep her misteltoe, and as they go off set, standing under the misteltoe, she slaps Heenan. Heh. ___________________   The Bushwhackers then come out, and pass out gifts, dressed up as Santa Claus. How sweet. ___________________   Skinner's next, facing Bob Backlund. Have I ever mentioned how much I like Skinner?   Both men go on the mat and wrestle, until Bob Backlund gets the best. He takes down Skinner, so Skinner ducks under the top rope, to stall. Skinner gives Backlund a headlock, and Backlund responds with a droptoehold. Backlund wins the TEST OF STRENGTH, and takes Skinner to the canvas. Backlund gives Skinner an atomic drop, but Skinner rolls him up, only getting 1. Skinner slams Backlund, but Backlund rolls Skinner up for the win at 3:42. I really would like to see a match between these two, with more time, of course. *1/4. ___________________   Lavern McGill and Chris Hawn take on Money Inc. w/Jimmy Hart (WWF Tag Team Champions) in a non-title match, and the Million Dollar Dream finishes things up at 2:36. *1/4. The Nasties came on the split-screen during the bout, and said they want Jimmy Hart's head, along with the Tag Titles. ___________________   Crush faces Dark Destiny next. WHO? The HEAD CRUSH finishes the bout at 2:56. *. ___________________   Next up, is GILLBERG vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer. It's just Dwayne Gill, but who cares. It'll always be Gillberg to me. The TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER finishes at 1:53, and Taker puts Gill in a bodybag. *. ___________________   The Headshrinkers w/Afa take on Matthew Williams and David Morgan next. Doink comes out, and hits a child on the head with a rubber mallet. Kinda funny. Samu finishes the bout after a diving headbutt from the top, at 2:16. At least all the squashes have been short. *. ___________________   Lastly, Vince McMahon talks about the debut of MONDAY NIGHT RAW on January 11th. We'll be seeing that next month on WWE 24/7. Afterward, we go to a Bret Hart promo, talking to, well, who else but.......SANTA CLAUS. All Bret wants for Christmas is to be able to face the best in the World Wrestling Federation. ___________________   Show's over.   Rating: Poor. The non-squashes weren't too great, so the show wasn't either. I'm glad I got to see so many matches, though. That's a positive.   Best Segment: Razor and Flair attacking Bret, until Perfect made the save.   Worst Segment: Damien Demento. Simple as that. ___________________   Ok, I'll do Tribute to the Troops '06 next. I'm interested to see that one.
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Review: Shorties Section from 12-5 to 12-8-07.

Easy lineup, with two matches I love. Should be easy to knock out. ___________________   The first gift this time, is from Mickie James. It's Wendi Richter w/Cyndi Lauper vs. Leilani Kai w/The Fabulous Moolah for the Women's Title, from WrestleMania. Rock and Wrestling...   Blow-by-blow: Richter punches Kai, but Kai follows with a kick, and an armdrag. Richter applies a hammerlock, and throws Kai to the canvas, but Kai gives her two snap mares to get out of it. She pulls on Richter's hair a whole punch and chokes her, until Richter applies a body scissors. Kai stands up, and gets taken to the canvas for 2, and then rolled up for 2. Kai misses a charge to the corner (eats feet), and Richter covers her for 2. Moolah pulls Richter's hair, so Lauper comes over and hits Moolah. Kai pulls Richter back in, and gives her a big boot. Richter gives her this F-U looking thing for 2, but Kai comes back with a backbreaker for 2. She slams Richter and goes up top for a crossbody, but Richter reverses it, winding up on top for the cover at 6:12. New champion, yeah, and all that.   Match Analysis: Was a mess. One that I'd rather not waste more words on. 1/2*. ___________________   Jonathan Coachman's gift is Rock vs. Hogan from WM X8. That's all the description you need.   Blow-by-blow: The staredown before the bout still gives me chills, even though I've watched this match at least 20 times. Both wrestlers lock-up, until Hogan pushes Rocky to the canvas. He poses, and the crowd goes apeshit. I still mark for this entire match, so everything is going to be insanely biased. Hogan gives Rock a shoulderblock, and poses more. Hell yeah, son! He gives him a clothesline, but Rock comes back with one of his own, and tells him to BRING IT. Rocky gives him the SPIT PUNCH, but Hogan seems deathly terrified of taking a bump over the top, so he scoots out of the ring under the bottom rope. Rocky throws Hogan back in, and clotheslines him after Hogan isn't able to backdrop the Rock. Rock goes for ROCK BOTTOM, but he gets elbowed away by Hogan, and then given a running elbow. Hogan gives him 2 elbowdrops, and a face stomp to boot. Rocky gives Hogan a spear, and the mount punch. Hogan then gives Rock a back suplex, which gets a 2 count. Hogan goes to the ABDOMINAL STRETCH, and then rolls Rock up for another 2 count. He gives Rock the BACK RAKE, and a few chops, before taking him to the corner. Over there, he gives Rock two punches, and bites him. Rocky gives him a few chops (huh), and Hogan misses a charge to the corner, but quickly gives Rock a chokeslam afterward. Hogan takes the tape off his wrists and chokes the Rock with it, and tosses Rock out over the top rope. He rams the Rock into the steel steps, and slams him throat-first onto the barrier at ringside. Hogan begins to take apart the announce table, seemingly to slam Rocky onto it, but the Rock gets there first, and rams Hogan into the table. Rock grabs a chair, but the official takes it away, preventing him from using it. Back inside, Hogan gives Rock a clothesline, and sidesteps when the Rock's running afterward, forcing the Rock to run into the official. Rock comes back with an ugly spinebuster, and the SHARPSHOOTER. Hogan gets to the ropes, but since the ref's out, why break the hold? Once Rock thinks he's done enough, he revives the referee, as the crowd chants "Rocky Sucks." Gee, they love him, don't they. Hogan gives the Rock a low blow, and a ROCK BOTTOM, which only gets 2. Hogan takes off his weight belt now, and hits Rock with it three times. If Hollywood hasn't used his belt yet, the match isn't going to be ending. Of course, he has to take some punishment too, after he misses a punch with the belt on his hand, and gets caught with a DDT by Rocky. Rock grabs the belt now, and hits Hogan with it 7 times. He gives Hogan ROCK BOTTOM, which gets an early 2 count. Oh my GAWD, he's HULKIN' UP! Boom, boom, boom, big boot, DROP THE FUCKING LEG, but it only gets 2. JR was going into raptures about how Hogan pinned Andre with the legdrop, so it's fitting that the move iddn't finish the match. Hogan gives Rock another big boot, but is unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG. Rock gives him ROCK BOTTOM, and sends him down to ROCK BOTTOM AGAIN, then kips up and gives him the MF'ING PEOPLE'S ELBOW for 3 at 16:23. After the Rock celebrates for a bit, Hogan extends his hand in friendship. The Rock accepts the gesture, so Scott Hall and Kevin Nash go to the ring. They thought Hogan was NWO 4 LIFE, but I guess he's not, so they attack him. The Rock runs back down to the ring, and cleans house, along with Hogan. He wants Hogan to pose, so he does. That's the end of WM X8...oh wait, it's not.   Match Analysis: ***. I don't have any problem with those that say the match wasn't that good, but come on. Not only that, but it should've been their only match, and the match at No Way Out 2003 should never have happened. But yeah, the show should've ended here. It would've been the perfect ending, Hogan passing the torch, and then Rocky coming back to help run off the dastardly NWO, who turned on the guy they thought was NWO 4 LIFE. For shame WWF, for shame. ___________________   Ok, here we go. CM Punk's gift is sure to be something good, and it was. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero in a Mask vs. Title Match, for the WCW Cruiserweight Title, from Halloween Havoc. You know, when being Cruiserweight Champion meant something.   Blow-by-blow: Eddy taunts Rey at the beginning of the match, but misses the punch he said he'd hit Rey with. Rey comes off the ropes with a quebrada, and he turns it into an armdrag. He gives Eddy a HUGE monkeyflip, then knocks him over the top rope and to the floor with a crossbody. He goes to dive onto Eddy from the apron, and gets knocked straight down to the floor, landing on his back. Eddy rams Rey, head-first into the steel steps. Ouch. Eddy hilos onto Rey when he comes back in, and gives him a European uppercut. Rey gives him a dropkick and goes for a handspring elbow, but Eddy gives him a back suplex after catching him. Eddy gives him a delayed vertical suplex for 2, and then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Eddy tears at Rey's mask, but doesn't rip it, yet, anyway. He then gives Rey an abdominal stretch, and turns that into a pumphandle backbreaker, which gets two. Then they do the typical lucha sequence, where a guy rolls up from the mat and onto the opponents shoulders, taking him over, BUT THIS TIME, Rey springs onto the top rope instead, and gives Eddy a backflip DDT. Wow. That's way better than AJ Styles' quebrada reverse DDT. Part of that is because AJ does it EVERY match. Rey gives him a dropkick that puts Eddy on the outside, and springs up to follow Eddy, but Eddy gives him a dropkick, knocking Rey to the floor. Eddy rams Rey into the guardrail, and throws him back in, where Eddy applies a camel clutch. Love the back-oriented offense here. He tears at most of Rey's mask, leaving it with a gigantic hole in the material. Eddy applies a Gory Special, and Rey armdrags his way out of it. Rey misses a dropkick, so Eddy gives Rey a dropkick to the head, as Rey's down on the canvas. Eddy gives Rey an Argentine Backbreaker, and then applies a bow and arrow lock. Eddy gives Rey a back elbow afterward, and puts his foot on the ropes to CHEAT, but only gets 2. Eddy gives Rey a European uppercut, and then tosses him into the corner, where Rey goes upside down. Eddy gives Rey a dropkick, and then tries to get a running start to give him a baseball slide to the face, but Rey raises up, causing Eddy to slide into the ringpost, nuts first. Good thing the post was padded. Rey now FLIES off the top with a plancha (I figured out the difference between a plancha and a pescado the other day. What a fucking buffoon I am.), onto Eddy, who's on the floor. Back inside, Eddy tries a tilt-a-whirl slam, but Rey finds his way out of the hold, and gives Eddy a rana for 2. Eddy gives Rey a clothesline, but Rey finds a way to go through the ropes, 619 style, and headscissor Eddy to the floor. Rey flies out onto Eddy, who's on the floor, with a DRAGONRANA. No shit. Great stuff. Rey comes back in off the top, with a standing corkscrew senton, onto Eddy. It gets 2, so Rey slams him, and tries a springboard split legged moonsault, but eats Eddy's knees. Eddy gives him a sick looking powerbomb, which gets 2. The "Eddy Sucks" chant begins, so Eddy takes Rey into the turnbuckle. He misses a charge, and Rey gives him a spinning heel kick. Rey's springboard hurricanrana misses, as Eddy avoids it and catches Rey, turning the move into a backbreaker. Eddy goes up top, and Rey avoids the frog splash, so Eddy rolls through, as he usually does. Rey gets up on the top rope, and he gets crotched. Eddy tries to give him a back suplex, but he's pushed away. So now, Eddy goes for SPLASH MOUNTAIN. He gets ready to drop Rey all the way down to the canvas, but Rey counters with a hurricanrana, for the win and the Cruiserweight Title at 13:51. But most importantly, Rey gets to keep his mask. Eddy is really pissed off, so he attacks Rey after the match and throws him out of the ring.   Match Analysis: It's certainly the best Cruiserweight Title match ever. Can't recommend this one enough. Most of the matches that feature this many highspots have a fuckup or two, but this one doesn't. It's an easy *****. I liked Eddy's back work the most. Almost all the moves and holds he used were moves that are supposed to target the back. ___________________   From the David Von Erich Memorial Show at Texas Stadium, it's Mike, Kevin and Fritz Von Erich vs. The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Terry Gordy and Buddy Roberts), for the World 6 Man Tag Team Championship. Self explanatory, isn't it. This was Shawn Michaels' gift.   Blow-by-blow: As soon as the match starts, Fritz attacks Hayes. The Von Erich's clear the ring, so once Gordy finds a chair, he throws one in. It hit Kevin's hands or something, cause he's bleeding pretty badly from that area. David Manning grabs the mic, and says that the only rule in the match is that two people are all that's allowed in the ring. Kevin and Roberts start as the bell rings (I was timing before), and Kevin rams Roberts to the turnbuckle. As a result, Michael Hayes comes in, and basically says, "fuck the rules." Roberts hits Kevin, but misses a charge to the corner. Kevin drags Roberts over to Mike, who tags in and elbowdrops Roberts in the knee. Hayes comes in and slams Mike, but misses a splash off the 2nd rope. Fritz comes in and kicks Hayes, so everyone else joins in the fight. Fritz takes his belt off, and whips Hayes' ass with it. Harhar. Kevin and Gordy stay in when the ring clears, and Gordy rams Kevin to the buckle. I guess Fritz can't handle watching his sons get beat up, so he comes in and clobbers Gordy. If the Von Erich's win, Kerry takes Fritz's position in the team as a champion. Kevin goes for the CLAW, but Gordy stops it. Hayes comes in, and gives Kevin a clothesline, then takes his boot off and hits Kevin in the head with it. Roberts comes in, and thrusts his crotch into the face of Kevin. That's how it looked, but really, he was hitting him with his belt buckle. Roberts gives Kevin a backdrop, but Kevin lands near to Fritz, tagging him in. Fritz gives Hayes and Roberts a double noggin-knocker, and applies the CLAW, to a bleeding Michael Hayes. And then, Fritz gives Roberts the CLAW, until Gordy forces him to break the hold. See, this is one thing I don't like about World Class. Old man Fritz has to dominate, whenever he steps in the ring. Gordy and Hayes are then rammed into each other by the Von Erichs, and Kevin comes off the top with a crossbody to finish Roberts at 8:53. The crowd goes apeshit, but they were doing that for the duration of the match anyway. After the match, a "big Oriental" attacks the Von Erichs, until Kerry comes in the ring to break it up. The "big Oriental" was Killer Khan.   Match Analysis: Wild. It's really hard to go into great detail, though. ***1/4. Just trust me, you want to watch it. ___________________   Ok, I'm done for a day or two. Nothing to watch, nothing to review.
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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 4/28/97, from Omaha, Nebraska.

Now, to follow up... ___________________   Welcome everyone to Monday Night RAWWWW. Flashback to Steve Austin/Bret Hart from last week. As much as I liked the angle, I could've done without that. ___________________   Brian Pillman comes out to the ring, with a mic I might add, and begins to talk about religion. He wants everyone to pray for Bret Hart, and the people who liked what Austin did to Bret. He prays for the destruction of Austin, and that people everywhere will begin to listen to Bret again. Austin comes on the TitanTron, and says that Pillman had better pray. Pillman says he'll turn the other cheek, then turns around and bends over so that his ass is facing the TitanTron. Here comes Austin to the ring, and it was a trap. Owen and Bulldog try to attack Austin, but Austin runs through the ring and into the crowd. Davey and Owen stay in the ring, and pray along with Pillman. Both Davey and Owen pray for Bret, and Austin comes back in, with an axehandle that he broke the end of an ax off from. He chases the three guys away and into the crowd, and tells them they better give their souls to the Lord, cause their asses are his. That segment is open to interpretation. Some may like it, some may not. I thought it was just decent. ___________________   Pillman's praying in the back, before the match between Flash Funk and Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man.   Not bad on paper, but the gimmicks. Oh Lord, the gimmicks. Flash dances, until Rockabilly pushes him to the ground. Flash gives him a dropkick and a hiptoss, and then a springboard crossbody for 2. Flash gives him an armdrag, as we go splitscreen, with Bret sitting in an ambulance, waiting to make an appearance. Back to the action, where Flash dumps Rockabilly to the outside, and follows him out with a clothesline from the 2nd turnbuckle. Honky distracts Flash while Flash is on the apron, which leads to a Rockabilly clothesline. He suplexes Flash in, and gets a cover for 2. A FAMEASSER follows, and Rockabilly goes up to the top. Flash crotches him, but is given a swinging DDT, for 2. Didn't know Billy Gunn had that in him. Honky gets on the ring apron, and Rockabilly runs into him, which leads to Funk giving Rockabilly a hurricanrana, and the pinfall for Flash, at 4:21. I don't quite get why they'd have Rockabilly lose this match. **. After the match, Honky hits Flash in the head with his guitar. Poor guy. ___________________   Bret Hart comes out of the ambulance, and to the ring. He talks about Pillman's praying, and says that it can't help you all the time. More anti-American stuff, mainly talking about how bloodthirsty we are. He says that Austin and Shawn Michaels will be the next to get put in an ambulance. ___________________   Austin's in the back, looking for the First Aid room. After that, there's a FUNNY WWF commercial. Prelude to the attitude. ___________________   The next match is the Legion of Doom v. Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon.   Before the match, we go split screen and listen to Furnas talk about being a legitimate wrestler, and that it's the fans fault they haven't been able to win matches. That's cool. Animal and LaFon start, and Animal gives him an elbow to the head. LaFon comes back with a spinning leg lariat, but Animal gives him a flying shoulderblock and an elbowdrop. Furnas and Hawk tag in, and Hawk gives him a clothesline and neckbreaker. Hawk gives him a fistdrop, but Furnas quickly gives him a belly-to-belly suplex, and a legdrop. LaFon tags in, and they both give Hawk a shoulderblock, for 2. LaFon gives him a trapping suplex, and a cross armbreaker. He lets go quickly, and gives Hawk a snap suplex. Double colission follows, and so does the hot tag to Animal. Dropkicks for both and a powerslam for Furnas, until Hawk clotheslines both. They go for the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, but Furnas gives Animal a dropkick, knocking both he and LaFon out of the ring. Hawk goes through with the move though and gives Furnas a clothesline off the top rope, which gives LOD the pinfall at 3:47. *1/2. JR's in the ring with Furnas and LaFon, and they say what they said before the match. The fans suck. ___________________   On Shotgun Saturday Night, Sunny was under cover. Literally. Well, the Headbangers came out, and sat in the bed with her. So, she models an Austin shirt on RAW, as Michael Hayes is giving us the rundown on sizes and all that. Whenever Sunny's on my screen is a good thing, but this is lame. Still feel bad for Hayes....   And Ahmed Johnson's backstage. He's sick of the Nation, so he wrecks shit.   Now Pillman kisses Owen's Slammy's, before... ___________________   For the Intercontinental Championship, it's Owen Hart w/Bret Hart and the British Bulldog vs. Rocky Maivia. Owen's family hangs out near the TitanTron, and that'll be the case during the later match as well.   Owen says he's going to win it for Bret. How sweet. Owen attacks Rocky at the start, but Rocky quickly responds with a clothesline, dropkick and an armdrag. He gives Owen a powerslam for 2, and applies an armbar. Rocky gives him a backdrop, and goes back to the armbar, before giving Owen a shoulderblock. Strong start from Rocky. Owen tosses Rocky out of the ring, and gives him a baseball slide. Then Rocky comes back in, and Owen gives him a missile dropkick for 2. Owen goes to the chinlock, and gives him a droptoehold. He snaps Rocky's lower leg back twice, and begins to work on the left knee, with an indian deathlock. Rocky rolls him up for 2, but Owen goes back to the knee, with three leg whips. He goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Rocky won't allow it. Owen gives him a suplex, but Rocky comes back with that floatover DDT of his, which gets two. He gives Owen ROCK BOTTOM, but it only gets 2. Certainly wasn't his finisher then, if you didn't know. Rocky rams Owen into the buckle, but Owen comes out with a spinning leg lariat. Owen goes up top for a moonsault, but he gets crotched, and back suplexed off by Rocky, which gets 2. That spot always makes me cringe, with the way that the recipient lands on his head. Rocky tries a suplex, but Owen rolls through it and winds up behind Rocky, where he pins him with a rolling clutch hold for 3 at 8:26, and the INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE. As much as it boggles my mind to say this, that was his first singles title in the WWF. Yeah, really. **1/2. Rocky did the best he could. Owen celebrates by placing the Intercontinental Title in Bret's lap.   Backstage, Austin's in a wheelchair. What? ___________________   We're in the Warzone, and it's Austin, again. He's carrying that wheelchair through the crowd, and to the ring. He sits in the wheelchair when he gets in the ring, and asks the crowd if they want to see a wheelchair match between him and Bret. He says he'd whip Bret's ass for sure. Austin's gonna whip Taker's as at A Cold Day in Hell, or so he says. Bret pops up on the TitanTron, and promises that Austin will ride in an ambulance. ___________________   Vader's back, and there's some footage of him grabbing the interviewer in Kuwait, during Good Morning Kuwait. Let me say that I'm awfully surprised to see Taker out of character on that show, dressed like he usually did as BikerTaker. More so that it was shown on RAW. A stupid Ken Shamrock video follows that, unfortunately, featuring video from his in-ring interactions. Never liked Shamrock. He's annoying.   Obviously, the previous things shown mean that it's time. It's VADER TIME. He's facing Jesse Jammes. The singing gets worse every week. Vader smashes Jammes, then gives him a big splash off the 2nd rope. He picks Jammes up at two, and gives him the VADER BOMB, to finish the match at 1:35. Thank you. *1/4. JR goes into the ring to ask Vader a few questions, and Vader's first answer is that he went to Kuwait to do a job.     I'll take that literally. He starts to bully JR by taking his hat and glasses, so Ken Shamrock runs to the ring to save JR, by giving Vader a belly-to-belly suplex. Vader bails, and goes into his WHO'S DA MAN routine while walking backstage. Good build for their match at the PPV, which   ___________________   It's Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna vs. Goldust next. Before the match, Goldust says that ringside is no place for a woman, so Marlena's not allowed out there.   Slug it out, until Goldust gives Hunter two clotheslines. He whips Hunter to the corner, where he goes upside down. 10 punch time, and after #9, Goldie bites him. He gives Hunter a BUTT bump, and a slap to the face, before more 10 punch. But before he can get started, Hunter gives him an inverted atomic drop. Hunter follows that with a high knee, and he tosses Goldust out of the ring, where Chyna kicks him a whole bunch. Marlena comes down to the ring, and we have a...   commercial break.   We're back, and Hunter's giving Goldust a knee to the face. Chyna looks like a man, and Vince pretty much compares her to Ellen, calling her a lesbian. I'd say she's a transsexual. Goldust grabs his own nuts, and clotheslines Hunter. Well. Goldust gives him a bulldog, and Chyna moves towards Marlena. Marlena throws powder at Chyna, and Chyna starts choking Hunter, who came out of the ring to get Goldust. That leads to Hunter being counted out at 4:50 (commercial time not included, obviously). Cute little finish, but the match was no good. *. ___________________   The Undertaker comes on the TitanTron as Hunter and Chyna take the quick road backstage (taking a right in the aisleway and walking around the TitanTron), and says a bit about Austin. He's not too worried about him, and he can do worse to Austin than put him in a wheelchair.   After that, Sable models an Undertaker shirt. When I was a kid, well, you figure it out. Pillman prays for Bulldog to hurt the Undertaker, and we get another funny WWF commercial, where this time, the kid thinks he's Stone Cold Steve Austin. ___________________   The main event is the British Bulldog w/Bret and Owen Hart vs. The Undertaker, in a non-title bout. So, this match did happen more than once.   Unfortunately, we go to a   commercial as soon as the match starts, after a Taker choke toss.   We're back, and Bulldog has Taker up in a delayed vertical suplex, which gets 2. Bulldog misses a clothesline, and gets chokeslammed by Taker. That forces Owen to run-in, at 1:18 (commercial not included). No rating, the entire match happened during the commercial.   Austin comes through the crowd to save Taker(?), and after chasing Owen and Davey away, grabs the WWF Title and celebrates with it. Heh. Austin gives Taker a STUNNER, but while flippin' the bird at him, Taker sits up and gives Austin a chokeslam. Don't particularly care for the Taker/Austin booking. They were trying to pop a buyrate, but it's gonna make Austin seem like a bitch, in the end. Remember, I watched WCW in 1997, not much WWF. Austin sees Bret at the stage, and Bret can't get away. When he tries to, JIM FUCKING NEIDHART comes out, and attacks Austin. Bret hits Austin with a crutch, and that knocks Austin off the stage. That looked like a hard fall, with no added protection. We cut backstage as Austin's being stretchered out, and Pillman has this insane look on his face, to end the show. Loose Cannon, indeed. ___________________   Rating: Good. Three things, though.   1. Too much Austin. Just a bit too much. But having Neidhart come back offsets that.   2. No Mankind. Boo.   3. Title change is good. Very, very good.   Plus, any show that Jesse Jammes gets squashed on is fun. The show had a good crowd, for once.   Best Segment: I got the most enjoyment out of Pillman's look at the end, and Neidhart's return. So that.   Worst Segment: The Shamrock video. Ugh.   Loudest Sound: Austin, Taker, and the Hart Foundation. Figures.   No Sound: Furnas and LaFon, Rocky Maivia and Jesse Jammes. They pushed Rocky too hard, too fast. That's not the right way to analyze why the fans hated him, though. They hated him because he was vanilla. No personality, or natural charisma. Now how that changed, I couldn't say. When he went heel, it was like someone flipped a switch. ___________________   Shorties section is next. I've seen everything there is to offer, so far. I'd like for them to add something obscure today. It only took me 2 hours to type 5 pages. That's a new record.
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Review: WCW Monday Nitro, 4/28/97, from Norfolk, Virginia.

In reverse order. This was the one that aired second, but since I was watching the Kings game, didn't get around to finishing until about 11:30, my time. So, the shorter one will have to do, won't it. 1 hour, unfortunately. ___________________   Flashback to Starrcade '93, since Flair's coming back as a wrestler soon, and all. My feelings on that match are known. Tony, Larry and Bobby are the announcers this time. No Mike Tenay. Roddy Piper and Ric Flair come to the announce table, and tear into the NWO. They're both sick of the NWO, and want to fight them tonight. Flair goes into his dancing routine, and we cut away, to the show's opening video. ___________________   In typical WCW fashion, we get a US Title defense to open the show, it's Prince Iaukea vs. Dean Malenko, the guy that probably would open the show even if he didn't have the title. Jeff Jarrett joins us in the split screen, and mentions how he's proved himself to Benoit, Flair and Arn Anderson. And at Slamboree, he'll be bringing back the US Title to those guys, after beating Dean. So he says.   Dean gives Iaukea an armwinger, then pulls him by the hair down to the canvas. Iaukea kips up, but Dean applies an armbar. Dean gives him a droptoehold, and Iaukea decides to give him an armdrag, and droptoehold of his own when he gets up. Dean misses a charge to the corner, and then misses another, and Iaukea gives him a superkick for 2. That was kinda strange. Iaukea gives him an ugly backdrop for 2, and we go to the finish. Dean comes back with a powerbomb and rolls on top of Iaukea for a count, but he reverses it, and Dean does the same, before winding up in the ropes. Dean rams him into the buckle and gives him a powerslam, before the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF finishes at 3:01. *3/4. Typical "Dean on Nitro" fare, but Iaukea sucks, and nearly dragged down the match with his presence alone. Damn, they moved him down the card awful quick, too. ___________________   We're jumping quickly from segment to segment, and this one is Juventud Guerrera vs. Syxx for the Cruiserweight Title. Syxx is NWO 4 LIFE BRAH, but none of his buddies showed up. Where's the love?   Juvi gives Syxx a flying headscissors, so Syxx bails to the outside. When he comes back in, he's given a taste of his own medicine, via a Juvi spin kick. Juvi chops Syxx, but he's given a hard spinning heel kick by Syxx. Right in the fucking mush. It was one of those, "bitch, don't steal my fucking moves" things. Syxx gives him a double chop, and some kicks in the corner, which leads to....THE BRONCO BUSTAHHHHHHH. He gives Juvi a headbutt, and then, a delayed vertical suplex which gets 2. Moveset variation! Syxx gives Juvi a legdrop, and then an elbow to the head off the top rop. For some reason, I don't think that's what was supposed to happen. As evidenced when Syxx goes up top again, and gets crotched by Juvi. See. You can't just yell for a guy to come over to you, unless you're Rico. Juvi tries to spring up to give Syxx a hurricanrana, but botches it. Thankfully, he saves himself from embarassment, by landing on his feet. He climbs up instead, and delivers a rana to Syxx, but he leans back, as if it was going to end up in a rollup for Syxx. I'm just typing what I saw. Juvi springboards in from the apron with a somersault dropkick for 2, but he misses a springboard moonsault block. BUZZKILLER time, and Syxx puts him away at 4:37. Juvi tried his best to fuck shit up here, but it's unnoticeable unless you're really looking for it. Still **, and worthwhile. ___________________   On the Road with Lee Marshall in Lakeland, Florida. Ugh, get off my TV. ___________________   Scott Hall, Syxx, and Big Kevin Nash make their way to the announce table now. I love, LOVE how the announcers bail like they're legitimately afraid of the NWO. Little things like that really help a segment. Hey yo, Flair and Piper are dinosaurs. As far as the challenge goes, hey, whatever. Hall don't care. He says the crowd is here to see the NWO, and that's it. Nash wants 75% of the gate if he agrees to fight Piper and Flair. Geez, guy, you're not Ted DiBiase. Gimmick infringement. Syxx says that he wants all the LOOT, BRO. Haha.   Following that, we have a paid announcement brought to you by the NWO. YES!!!!! It's Macho and Liz. The MADNESS IS OUT OF CONTROOOLLLLLLL. He's DDP's master, too. The rapid cut promos featured in these videos probably benefit Macho the most. Makes him sound extra cool. Loved it. ___________________   It's the French Canadians w/Colonel Robert Parker vs. Lex Luger and THE GIANT.   Luger and Carl Oulette start the match. This'll be simple, short and to the point. Luger gives him a hiptoss, and slams Jacques, but both are dastardly foreign cheaters, so they give Luger a double hotshot onto the top rope. Robert Parker starts kicking Luger, and Luger gets rammed into the guardrail. Move forward about a minute, cause the French Canadians are tagging in back and forth and doing a whole lot of nothing. Oulette misses an elbowdrop from the 2nd rope after a kneedrop from the 2nd by Jacques, and now, the GIANT tags in. GIANT clotheslines both, gives both big boots, and the end is near. CHOKESLAM Jacques, TORTURE RACK Carl, and that's it for the French Canadians at 3:02. Crowd went nuts for the finish. *1/2. ___________________   A bit of Reggie White vs. Mongo at Slamboree hype, before Mongo w/Debra vs. the Barbarian. Sounds bad.   Barbarian chokes Mongo, before Mongo gives him a clothesline. Barbarian goes for his finisher early, the piledriver, but he doesn't get it, as Mongo gives him a backdrop. Barb gives Mongo a big boot, and dumps Mongo to the outside. He rams Mongo into the guardrail, and charges into him. The poor family they were fighting next to was sitting down, and the wife looked scared. Legitimately. Barbarian slams Mongo into the post, and throws him back in. Barbarian gives Mongo a piledriver, but it only gets two. I can see where this is going, but I didn't see the way it took to get there. Barbarian gives Mongo some of the 80's OFFENSE(!1!11!1!), which consists of a headbutt, poke in the eye, and a push of the ref. Now, Debra distracts the referee, and Mongo grabs the Haliburton, and in turn, nails Barbarian in the head with it. Yeah, I saw that coming. Mongo picks up the pinfall at 3:04. As bad as it sounds, but short enough to not be a DUD. Just 1/4*. ___________________   Flair and Piper come to the ring, with a microphone. All Flair has to say, is that he wants the NWO out here now. He says he knows he can whip Syxx's ass, and that he's been World Champ more times than Syxx has had pieces of ass. Them's fightin' words. The NWO's music begins to blare throughout the arena, but it cuts off. And now, papers come from out of the ceiling. It's propaganda(!), communist style. COOL. The papers say, Tradition Bites! NWO 4 LIFE. NOW, we go to school. Hall, Nash and Syxx make their way out, and Flair attacks Syxx in the aisleway, giving him the figure-four leglock. Piper is seemingly mesmerized by these papers, so he's just standing in the ring. Not watching the fight, or participating at all. Just reading. Flair's getting his ass beaten by Hall and Syxx, as Nash holds him there for his buddies to hit. The crowd is starting to heel on Piper a bit, until he pulls off his belt, and starts beating Nash with it, to end the show. ___________________   Rating: Good. Didn't drag like some of the 2 hour shows do, thankfully. And when this show goes to three hours, I'm not going to be able to watch both Nitro and RAW in one sitting. Hopefully they're separated, because I won't be able to handle it. The three hour shows are SO LONG. If you've never seen them before, prepare. You think WrestleMania IV was boring? I'm extremely interested in the ending, and seeing where it goes. Remember, I haven't seen this stuff in forever.   Best Segment: The ending. Yeah, I'm a sucker for the NWO, and Piper's indecisiveness. I have to see what happens.   Worst Segment: Mongo vs. The Barbarian. Save me.   Loudest Sound: Luger and the Giant, and the NWO.   No Sound: Prince Iaukea, and Barbarian. Sorry to name a jobber, but I had to. ___________________   I'm typing the RAW review up, starting...now.
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Review: NWA 1/18/86.

It's either this or the MNW, and I'm certainly not watching that after watching USC lose a tough game to Memphis. It's gotta be something sure to put me in a good mood. ___________________   We see the clip from last week, where the Midnight Express came to the ring and attacked the Rock n Roll Express, but most notably, injured the throat of Ricky Morton. ___________________   The first match is Ron Garvin vs. Pablo Crenshaw, and in what's not a surprise, Garvin finishes it with a HAND OF STONE, at 3:20. *. He cuts a promo, and talks about how much desire he has. Garvin says that Flair used to have it, but it's disappeared. ___________________   Ivan Koloff (World 6 Man Tag Champion) faces Benny "U-Haul" Traylor, and it goes a little long for my taste. Koloff does 2 of every move during the match, and pins Traylor with the Russian Sickle at 4:52. DUD. Seen better from Uncle Ivan. ___________________   Jimmy Valiant comes out and cuts a promo. Man, I think he's funny as hell, and I don't even know why. He faces Mr. Georgia Tech (look at the mask). The guy's name is never mentioned, and probably with good reason. Valiant gives him the Boogie Woogie Elbow, at around 3:40. Thankfully, it was short. 1/4*. ___________________   Ric Flair comes out, and talks about women, and Ron Garvin. Space Mountain and all that, yadayadayada. Not one of his better efforts. ___________________   Quickly following him, it's Nikita and Uncle Ivan. Well, Paul Jones appears, and volunteers a wrestler to help them defend their 6-man trophy. It's BARON VON FUCKING RASCHKE!!! Baron goes to the ring, and he's facing Tony Zane. He gives that ugly motherfucker THE CLAW, at 2:49, and Zane submits. Jones makes sure that the referee doesn't make him break the hold, and Tony Schiavone calls Randy Anderson, "Peewee." Did not know they used to call him that. Baron cuts a promo, and while I like how he talks, it isn't very "German." But whatever. Match was 1/2*. ___________________   Sam Houston (Mid Atlantic Heavyweight Champion) faces off against Art Prills next. Dear God help me. I can't stand Houston's squashes, so, of course, this one is extra long. 7:12, and ended with Houston's bulldog. 7 FUCKING 12. No squash should EVER be that long. DUD. ___________________   Dusty Rhodes and Baby Doll are with Tony, Dusty's talking about he and Baby Doll going up to the Himalayas, and Baby Doll riding a YAK. What? That makes no sense. He's making fun of Ric Flair, obviously, and talking about how he travels the world. He says he's going to go see Don Owen this week (promoter, ran Portland). Baby Doll talks about Tully a bit, and I don't like listening to her all that much, so it's a good thing that ran short. ___________________   The Barbarian w/Paul Jones is taking on the Big Bossman Big Bubba Rogers The Boss The Guardian Angel Ray Taylor next. Taylor's a huge guy. So, Barbarian gives him a powerslam, and finishes off the match with a flying headbutt off the top, at 3:33:33. No typo. *1/4. I love watching Barbarian beat the shit out of these jobbers. ___________________   Magnum TA's with Tony, to talk about Nikita Koloff. Magnum was at Vengeance 07? Why the fuck did I not know this? Lee Peek is taking on Magnum (US Champion), and Magnum beats him with the belly-to-belly in 34 seconds. Thanks for the short squash. *. ___________________   Here comes the shit I hate, more Dusty overkill. Tony's with Dusty's doctor, and the doctor says that Dusty has to get rid of the steel toe boot he's been wearing. Arn Anderson comes out after the pretaped clip is shown, and he's livid. Cause Dusty and Arn have a cage match, see. Arn says he doesn't belong in a cage, he's not a criminal. But at the end he says, remember what happened the last time an Anderson was in a cage with Dusty. Good promo. ___________________   The Rock n Roll Express face the team of Larry Clarke and Jerry Garmon next. Quickly finished at 4:14 with the double dropkick, that gets Ricky Morton the pinfall. *. ___________________   Jim Cornette comes to the commentary area. Oh shit. He's not happy because of all the mail about what they did to Ricky Morton. He talks about the pre-pubescent little girls who like Morton and only know how to write with crayon. It's so hard to keep up with him, that's all I wrote down. He rambles, on and on and on. In a good way, though. Seeing as he came out, the Midnight Express have to be facing someone. It's Larry Vickery and Bill Tabb. The Midnights finish Vickery at 5:07, after Condrey launches Bobby Eaton onto Vickery, with a splash off the top. **. Again, this is a lesson in squashing. Anyone that watches The Wire, they'd think that Bill Tabb looks a bit like Dennis "Cutty" Wise. You know, the guy that came out of jail, got back in "the game" and bitched out. Enough of that, though. ___________________   Poor old Gene Ligon has to face Tully Blanchard w/JJ Dillon. Dillon just called Baby Doll out. He said it would take a forklift to put her on the back of a yak. Yo. The fans continually chant "I Quit" throughout the match, which is awesome. I like how HARD it was for fans to forget stuff back then. Now, it's easy for the regular fan to forget something after a week or two. Sucks, but that's the business, I suppose. Tully finishes Ligon with the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX at 4:48. *1/2. ___________________   Garvin comes out again, and we flashback to 12/28. Review for that is right here..   http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/blog/kingo...?showentry=2299   It was awesome. Back to the show, Ric Flair comes out, and punches Garvin right in the mouth. FIGHT!!! He throws Garvin in the ring, and tosses Mac Jeffers and the referee out of there. Flair chops Garvin to death and gives him a suplex, then sits on Garvin, like Garvin does when he's pinning a jobber. Oh fuck no. Flair walks back towards the commentary table, and Garvin attacks him from behind. Now Garvin starts to beat his ass, until Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson run into the ring, and hold Garvin for Flair to beat up. Dusty, Magnum and Sam Houston (one of these does not belong) run out to the ring, and save Garvin. Garvin gives Flair a HAND OF STONE, and sits on him, just like Flair did a minute ago. Haha. To the commercial, and Flair's still out. Tully and Arn have words for the babyfaces, talking about how the Four Horsemen will retaliate. You don't mess with their family.   Hot, HOT segment. ___________________   Now, the match that was interrupted by Garvin/Flair. It's my nephew Nikita vs. Mac Jeffers. Throughout the match, Nikita stops what he's doing, and goes into Goldberg mode, yelling out STINKIN' ROAD WARRIOR. So awesome. See, I would have done the Goldberg thing with him back then. No joke. Had they done that, whichever American that beat him would have received the ULTIMATE rub. The Sickle finishes at 4:00. Nikita is so awesome. If you think otherwise, you just don't understand. *1/2. Nikita, Baron and Ivan come to the commentary area, and Nikita talks about how he'll be US Champion. Ivan says Khrusher will be back, but until then, they'll use "greedy American" Paul Jones' help. They say they like greedy Americans.   The show's over, after we see Flair get knocked out by Garvin again. ___________________   Rating: Good. Hot angle, stinkin' ROAD WARRIOR, Jim Cornette, and Baron Von Raschke. My bias for this promotion and especially this time period is well known, but I don't know how anyone could NOT like this stuff.   Best Segment: Garvin knocking out Flair.   Worst Segment: Sam Houston's LONG squash. Please, stop. At least make them shorter.   Loudest Sound: Tully, Flair, Nikita and Ivan. Simple.   No Sound: Nobody. The crowd goes nuts to see all of them. ___________________   Don't know what I'll review next. Not the MNW, cause the Kings play tonight, and so do the Lakers. I'll probably review nothing. I don't like the way everything's being spread out this month. Instead, I'll be watching some PURO, but I don't want to make a fool out of myself, so no review.
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Review: Shorties Section from 12-1 to 12-4-07.

I bring GIFTS!!! I'll be posting these in increments of four. ___________________   We're saving the best for last, so it'll be Val Venis' gift, right now. I thought this would be the skit where his dick got chopped off, and next week he said it wasn't, but it's not. Instead, it's Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito from 11/28/05.   Blow-by-blow: Carlito spits in the face of people that aren't cool, obviously meaning Shawn, then knocks Shawn out to ringside. I like when Carlito spits on people. Carlito chokes HBK with his shirt, and rams him into the barrier at ringside. On the inside, Carlito does the move I saw on Wiki was called the Back Stabber, obviously to work on the back of Shawn. Carlito applies a headlock, and takes Shawn down to the canvas. He gives Shawn a shoulderblock when shot into the ropes, and goes for another, but Shawn gives him a hiptoss. Shawn tries to roll up Carlito, and gets thrown back, but misses a charge to the ropes, and SKINS THE CAT, to come back in. Carlito clotheslines Shawn over the top when he gets back in, and gives him a plancha out to the floor. Back in, Carlito gets 2. Carlito beats up Shawn, and now they each trade chops in the corner. Each guy delivers 5 to the other, and Carlito whips Shawn into the corner, where Shawn avoids a charge, and Carlito comes off the 2nd rope with a springboard crossbody for 2. Shawn gives Carlito the flying forearm, and kips up, but his knee buckled. OMG, IT'S A SHEWT!!! No, it really isn't, but anyway, Shawn's knee's in pain, so he rolls out to the floor. Great selljob, to the point where you actually COULD wonder if it was real. Of course it's not, as you see when Carlito gives Shawn a baseball slide. And we go to a   commercial break.   We come back, and Carlito has a half crab applied on HBK. Carlito chopblocks HBK and tries to apply another leglock, but HBK kicks him away a few times, keeping Carlito from applying anything. Carlito misses a charge to the corner when HBK gets up, so HBK tries to climb to the top. Very, very slowly. Carlito crotches him, and goes up for a back suplex. He gets knocked off, so Shawn turns around, and gives him the flying elbow off the top. He didn't exactly jump to do it, either. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but his knee gives out when he tries to deliver SWEET CHIN MUSIC. A DDT by Carlito gets 2, and Shawn tries for SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of nowhere, but he can't get it, crumpling to the canvas. Then Carlito tries this reverse DDT looking thing, and gets pushed into the referee, after which HBK gives Carlito SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for the win, at 13:44, 10:10 of which was shown, due to commercials.   Match Analysis: See, things like that are why main event wrestlers should have TWO finishers. It didn't make any sense for Shawn to finish the match with a superkick, after the legwork. It was still good though, and I'll rate it **3/4. In some of these young guy vs. old guy matches, I'll say who I thought should have gone over. Shawn definitely should have went over. FWIW, since I found it funny, when I quit watching the WWE altogether after Royal Rumble 2004, Orton was on RAW. I looked at the results for Survivor Series 05 the other day, and he was on Smackdown. Now he's back on RAW. Well then. I don't particularly care for that much switching from brand to brand. Yes, I know that had nothing to do with the last match. ___________________   Chuck Palumbo's gift is from WM 17, the Undertaker vs. Triple H. I'm glad he chose this, but not really. I'm not even going to watch the match again, so it's a copy and paste job. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.   Blow-by-blow: This time, the dubbed music is the Ministry of Darkness music. I like. That's as far as I got before turning it off. They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.   Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/2. Remember, I changed the rating cause of what I thought of the Brock/Taker match at No Mercy '02. ___________________   Gene Okerlund's gift to us, is Hulk Hogan vs. Nick Bockwinkel w/Bobby Heenan for the AWA Championship, and that took place on AWA Super Sunday, in 1983. The date in the description is NOT RIGHT.   Blow-by-blow: Bockwinkel stalls outside of the ring, then comes back in, but bails again. He's scared of the HULKSTER, BROTHER. Hogan gives him a shoulderblock, and pushes Bockwinkel into the turnbuckle. Hogan gives him 2 more shoulderblocks, and Bockwinkel bails to the outside, to meet with Bobby Heenan. Bockwinkel comes back in with a few knees to Hogan's gut, and he tries a backdrop, but Hogan kicks him in the gut, and delivers a few knees of his own to Bockwinkel. Hogan gives Bock a doublestomp, and a backbreaker for 2, as Bockwinkel's feet are on the bottom rope. Hogan charges into the corner and runs over Bock, but Bock comes back with a few punches, which only get 1. Bockwinkel applies a front facelock type choke, and keeps reapplying it whenever the referee makes him break the hold. Bockwinkel covers Hogan for 2 and tries a piledriver, but Hogan gives him a backdrop to get away from the hold. Bockwinkel misses a charge, so Hogan punches away at him, and Hogan's cover gets 2. Hogan gives him a clothesline and elbowdrop for 2, then a shoulderbreaker for 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel a kneelift and a powerslam for 2, but he's unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG, DUDE. Bockwinkel gives him repeated shouldercharges in the corner and tries a scoop slam, but can't get it, so Hogan falls on top and gets 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel another elbowdrop for 2, on a kickout that was screwed up by Bockwinkel. The ref just stopped counting, and Bockwinkel didn't kick out until a bit afterward. Hogan misses a charge to the corner, and Bockwinkel applies a sleeper. Hogan pulls him over his head and to the canvas, knocking Bockwinkel into the referee. Bockwinkel reapplies the sleeper, and Hogan rams him into the turnbuckle, where the ref is trying to recouperate. Ok, that's overkill. The crowd's shitting all over it, making matters worse. Now Hogan tosses Bockwinkel over the top rope. That's three different ways for a Dusty Finish in one match. Find another with that many. Hogan suplexes Bockwinkel in from the apron, and DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, for the 3 count and pinfall at 18:11. I love how "Real American" was edited in. It sounds like that was actually the music being played. Anyhow, Gene Okerlund's in the ring, to announce that AWA President Stanley Blackburn has reversed the decision, because Hogan threw Bockwinkel over the top rope. The crowd shits all over it, as they should.   Match Analysis: The finish ruined a good match. Plain and simple. However, this was a classic match. Everything was going good, until the finish. And honestly, the AWA deserved to die a painful death after doing something like that. The crowd was primed for a title change. **1/2. Down from ****, which is where it would have been without that AWFUL finish. ___________________   Ok, when I said I'm saving the best for last, I meant that literally. As in, I'll be posting it at the end of the month! Hahaha, fooled you all. I'll post Steamboat/Flair from the Clash on New Year's Eve. There are multiple reasons for that, but namely because I want to end the year on a good note. I'll be posting more of these on the 8th.
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Review: ECW 2/4/96, from the Lost Battalion Hall in Queens, NY.

I'm not sure quite how to open this up, so for once, I'm at a loss for words. ___________________   The first match is Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr., for the AAA Welterweight Championship. Just seeing that matchup made me want to watch the show more. Juventud picks Rey up in a fireman's carry, and slams him to the mat. He gives him an armscissors rollup for 2, and Rey applies a headlock. Rey gives Juvi two armdrags, but Juvi kips up and gives him two of his own. Juvi chops Rey twice, and gives him a spinebuster for 2. Both men do this strange thing, where their legs are locked together and both bridge out to a headstand position, and they slap each other. Both men slap each other while standing up, but Rey misses a springboard moonsault. That looked a million times better than the Lionsault. A monkey flip by Rey only puts Juvi on the ring apron, and Rey goes up top, giving Juvi a rana to the floor. That whole sequence was awesome. Juvi comes in and gives Rey a somersault legdrop, but gets clotheslined quickly, to stop his rally. Rey gives him a flying headscissors, and a springboard hurricanrana, so Juvi bails. THEN, Rey goes out to the floor, with a TOPE CON HILO, landing on Juvi. Rey puts a chair around Juvi's neck, and rams him into two ringposts. Heh, Extreme Lucha Libre indeed. Juvi grabs a light bulb from a fan, but notices what it is, and puts it down before entering the ring. Light bulbs in wrestling are not something I'm a fan of, so good. Juvi comes in and gives Rey a dropkick, then a release german suplex. Juvi goes to the apron, and springboards in with a spinning heel kick. Wow. Juvi gives Rey a sitout powerbomb for 2, and a legdrop. He then gives Rey a press slam to a fallaway slam with a bridge, and that gets 2. Rey chops away, and Juvi misses a charge to the corner. I'm surprised I haven't mentioned this yet, but Juvi's mask is funny looking. Rey gives Juvi a rana for 2, and then another, and a powerslam. Rey goes up top, but Juvi crotches him and goes for Splash Mountain. I've seen very few matches where this move hits, as Rey counters it with a hurricanrana at 9:30, for the win. Not clipped, thank God. Well, I've only seen WCW do this finish 20 times. But this was before those, so I'll rate it accordingly. It's ***1/4. Had it been longer, it probably would have been just as awesome as Rey/Psychosis. This wasn't a spotfest, but to clarify, I rate those on their own scale. Which is whether or not I find it entertaining, accompanied with a regularly weighted star rating. I really, really want to see their 2 out of 3 falls match from March of that year, now. ___________________   Lance Russell does his bullshit with the marcea hatt omves lal runoda, and then, CACTUS JACK(!) and Mikey Whipwreck make their first appearance of the show. Cactus has a Mr. Potato Head, and does a little reenactment of him losing his own ear in Germany against Vader. That was strange to watch. Cactus asks Mikey if he'd kill for him, and Mikey says, he guesses so. He says he and Mikey can face the Smokin' Gunns at Madison Square Garden if they win the match tonight. And, oh, his shirt. WWF'nF. Awesome. ___________________   To follow up with that, it's the Eliminators vs. Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck w/Raven, for the ECW Tag Team Championships. Where's Jason? Mikey hates Raven, remember. So they both push each other during the ring introductions. Kronus and Mikey start, and there's a sign that says, Mikey: If Titan calls, please go sign. Ouch.   Kronus pushes Mikey to the ground twice, and applies a wristlock. Mikey reverses it to a headlock, and gives Kronus an armdrag. Kronus bails, but back in, Mikey gives Kronus a droptoehold, and a headlock. Kronus throws him off, and tags in Saturn, who gives Mikey a shoulderblock. Mikey gives Saturn an armdrag and a hiptoss, then takes him over with a headlock, prior to tagging in Cactus. Cactus gets on the mic, and tells Mikey to get his ass out of the ring if he's not going to help Cactus the way he wants him to. This character is fucking gold. GOLD, I tell you. Cactus gives Saturn a headbutt and an elbow, then a big boot and legdrop, not Hogan style, for 2. Mikey tags in, but won't team up with Cactus for a move, so Saturn superkicks Mikey. He gives Mikey a RELEASE slingshot back suplex, forcing Mikey to land on his head. Holy fuck. See though, this is what I was saying about headdrops at the Pit. While I may like this, and it's within the context of the match...it is HIGHLY unnecessary. Kronus tags in, and both he and Saturn give Mikey a double STO. Kronus puts Mikey in the corner, and gives him a handspring back elbow. It looked just as good as the one Muta uses, maybe even better. No lie. I'm a believer in, the original is not always the best. Kronus goes to the chinlock, which certainly is not the best. It doesn't last long, though, as he powerbombs Mikey, while Saturn comes off the top with a kneedrop. Saturn gives Mikey a clothesline for 2 as he tags in, but tags in Kronus again, awfully quick. They do a sidesuplex with a legdrop type thing, but Cactus saves Mikey at the count of 2. Kronus gives Mikey an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, and Cactus finally gets the hot tag, after Mikey makes his way to the corner. He jumps on Saturn, who's draped along the 2nd rope, and gives Kronus the repeated forearms in the corner. Cactus goes to the apron after giving Kronus the CACTUS CLOTHESLINE!!!! and springboards to the floor, giving Kronus a back elbow which drives Kronus into the guardrail. Awesome. Cactus comes back in and gives Saturn a piledriver, and grabs a bottle from under the ring. He breaks it, and goes to stab Saturn with it. However, Mikey won't let him use it. Mikey dropkicks Cactus, but Saturn's unable to use the bottle too, as Mikey gives him a superkick. I love the, "he's against both sides" thing Mikey has goin' on. Mikey clotheslines both Eliminators and goes up top, giving Saturn a rana on the way down. He hits Kronus with a boot, but gets Totally Eliminated. I've watched quite a bit of ECW, and I just now noticed how much I love that finishing move. It's so fucking brilliant. It can't be understated. I'd say that a current team should rip it off, but that's blatant gimmick imitation. Even I can't condone that, although I said the original isn't always the best. But there's no topping that. The Eliminators pick up the pinfall and the tag titles, at 12:10.   Raven attacks Mikey right after the pinfall, but Cactus pushes Raven away. SWERVE!!! as Cactus starts beating up Mikey. Typical ECW, but this is when you didn't really expect it, but at the same time you did, so it was ok. Not the, "oh fuck, I saw this coming from a mile away and it fucking sucked so hard, bro, even a mark would see that shit" kind of SWERVE you see now. Anyway, Russo couldn't write something as good as this show if he dreamed. Yeah, I said it. Raven hits Mikey with a plastic folding chair, and Cactus gives him the Double Arm DDT on the chair. No Bang, Bang. I've never seen this, and it's already my favorite Foley moment of all. He went from sometimes funny with Mikey to dead ass serious in a matter of seconds. I want to rate the match and post match ***1/2, so I will. Great stuff. ___________________   We clip away, and Joey Styles is in the ring with the Eliminators. Francine shows up, and plays nice with them. Unfortunately, her New York-ish accent is too strong for me to take it all that seriously. Now the Pitbulls come to the ring, and hang Saturn with their chain. OH MY GOD, IT WAS A SETUP. Kronus gets SUPERBOMBED, and Francine grabs a pair of scissors. They cut off Saturn's hair, as the crowd goes into raptures, and chants E-C Dub. Well, that was certainly a cool moment. ___________________   It's multiple promo time, as we go to the end of the show. The Gangstas want the Eliminators, it's as simple as that. Mustafa's laugh is great. Tommy Dreamer has a melting candle, and the wax is burning onto his hands. It's supposed to signify the desire he has. Wow. Cactus talks about Mikey, and how Mikey doesn't have an desire. Mikey drug him down, so he had to handle the situation his way. He says Vince told him to bring Mikey, but since he's not coming, Cactus will have to slap him like he was his own child.   Ok, time out. That was one of the best promos I've ever seen. EVER.   Shane Douglas makes an appearance and doesn't say anything, but...JT FUCKING SMITH! I listen to ah, Dean Martin, ah. Bill Alfonso and Taz follow, I don't really need to describe what they said. Fonz rambles like a nutcase, and Taz tells you how he's going to kick your ass. To the Pitbulls, and they'll get the Tag Titles. The Gangstas again, and they're getting the Eliminators. Beulah says something that doesn't matter much. Raven talks about the one thing in his life that matters...he doesn't say what it is, but he's talking about that ECW Title. Beulah again, more that doesn't matter. Scorpio loves women, and right now his is the ECW TV Title, but now that he has that, all the ho's is for 2 Cold (that was a great one too). Pitbulls...but we quickly cut to Saturn cutting off the rest of his own hair. He doesn't care about his hair. He doesn't care about being hung via the chain. All he cares about is the gold.....end show. ___________________   Rating: Excellent. An outstanding television show. A complete 180 from the last ECW show. The last one was everything I hated about ECW. This one was everything I loved about it. Loved that the matches were unedited, and the interview roll at the end was great too. They ran the show the night before, so they certainly rushed to get this show out. It was still great.   Best Segment: Cactus' promos. Awesome stuff.   Worst Segment: Beulah's promos. I just didn't care. ___________________   The Boston show is next. I haven't watched it yet, but I'm mildly interested. Wait, scratch that. Not doing it, cause it'll probably suck and I don't want to waste paper taking notes. Plus, there's quite a bit of fastforward material, and it's just a non-MSG house show. MSG shows are the ones that matter.
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