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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-18-08, featuring the MNW from 5/19/97, the first Monday Nitro, and the shorties section.

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At first I was going to watch the first Nitro, but instead, I watched the MNW program. And first up is Nitro, from Asheville, North Carolina.

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Last night was Slamboree. Don't forget that.

 

Gene Okerlund's in the aisle, as Ric Flair's coming out for an interview. MEANNNNNN Gene. It's the usual, until Syxx joins us. He knows he can take Flair, and he wants to do it tonight. Flair accepts, and Syxx pretty much slaps him. So, Flair chases Syxx, until Syxx runs to the back. Flair/Syxx sounds good, but so does every other main event featuring an NWO guy. And they all end the same, too.

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So, our first match is Prince Iaukea vs. Steven Regal for the TV Title. Regal won this title at Slamboree, from the Ultimo Dragon.

 

- It's not Lord Steven Regal anymore, it's simply, Steven Regal. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know yet) this show is only one hour long. Iaukea's offense consists of roll-ups which only get a 2 count. Regal's really stiff throughout, which is nice.

 

- Regal gives Iaukea a REVERSE SUPLEX, and then, Iaukea submits to the REGAL STRETCH at 2:26. *1/2. Iaukea is shit, so his matches need to stay short.

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At Slamboree, Glacier was beaten up by Wrath and Mortis, until Ernest Miller ran in and saved him. HAHAHA. That's just great.

 

The next match has absolutely nothing to do with what they showed prior to this, given that Masa Chono is facing David Taylor.

 

- Mike Tenay's on commentary for this contest, and he says that there's going to be the debut of a huge star in Vegas. He got that one right. He also says that NWO t-shirts are huge in Japan. I have no idea as to whether or not that's true.

 

- Chono doesn't sell, you know. He wins with the STF at 2:58. 3/4*, Taylor got absolutely NOTHING.

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Mean Gene's with Sonny Onoo, who says that Chono has a debt to pay next week. He says that Chono's worst nightmare will be there. Does that mean....THE GREAT MUTA? Ok, I'll spoil it.

It is.

 

 

JJ Dillon then says that Nick Patrick is reinstated. Ok, that's fine with me.

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Speaking of Nick Patrick, he's officiating this match between Michael Wallstreet and AMERICAN MALE, Scotty Riggs.

 

- Wallstreet's wearing a shirt with an emblem picturing the letters, WCW, inside of a red circle, with a slash through it. Like, you know, a no-smoking sign. Anyhow, he's wearing it because he's not allowed to be in the NWO as per the terms of his contract, and he hates WCW.

 

- Patrick continually argues with Wallstreet. Continually. Wallstreet takes a foreign object out of his pants and tries to hit Riggs with it, but Patrick takes the object away. Riggs comes off the top rope with a sunset flip, but Wallstreet holds onto the top rope, trying to steal the victory. Patrick kicks Wallstreet's hand off the rope, and Riggs gets the 3 count at 2:49. That was so convoluted and ridiculous that I have to DUD it.

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Gene's talking to Mark Martin for some dumb reason, probably because Valvoline was one of their sponsors. Yeah, I'm sure that's why. He likes WCW and all, and Valvoline is giving away one of his racecars. Ok, then. Ric Flair was with him, and he talked a little bit of trash about Syxx.

 

Next we go On the Road with Lee Marshall to Nashville. FF.

 

Last night at Slamboree, DDP tried to attack Randy Savage with a crutch. Savage ran away, so that his buddies in the New World Order would be able to help him out. Well, he ran in and got clobbered by Page. Buff Bagwell and Vincent tried to give Savage support, but they were beaten on as well. Scott Norton though, he stopped the whole thing. The NWO beat DDP up for a bit, until THE GIANT made the save for Page.

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We have our token tag team match, as Mongo and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra are going to face the Steiner Brothers.

 

- Mongo's briefcase is all dented up. Can't he afford a new one?

 

- This is the last time I'll talk about Scott Steiner being roided up, but he reminds me of one of those pump up toys where you pump the toy and its muscles just get bigger and bigger.

 

- Scott gives Jarrett this insane samoan drop from up top. It looked so much better than Mortis' version. The crowd starts chanting "Reggie, Reggie." No, no. A t-bone suplex by Rick Steiner causes Mongo's foot to hit the camera at ringside.

 

- Debra gets on the ring apron to distract the official, but Mongo gets knocked down while holding the BRIEFCASE. Jarrett picks it up and thinks about hitting Mongo with it because of what happened at Slamboree. If you don't know, I'll tell you. Jarrett was facing Dean Malenko for the US Title, and Debra was at ringside with him. At the end of the match Jarrett was on the floor, and for some reason, Mongo threw him into the ring, and took Debra backstage with him. I think that's it, I haven't watched Slamboree '97 in a long time, and I have no desire to do it again. Anyhow, Kevin Greene runs down the aisle, takes the briefcase from Jarrett and hits Mongo with it, giving Rick Steiner the pinfall over Mongo at 3:35. *. After the bout, Mongo runs to the back, and has a pull-apart brawl with Greene. This happened during the commercial break, but we saw it when they came back.

 

Next week's show is two hours. Yay!

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Our main event is up next, and just as was said by our announce team of Tony, Brain and Larry, it's Syxx (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. Ric Flair in an obvious non-title affair.

 

- Syxx's gear says "thug" on the front of it. That made me laugh for some reason. Flair beats on Syxx for about 40 seconds of the :58 this match lasts, until Scott Hall and Kevin Nash make their first appearance on the night. They fucked Flair up, yo. Nash grabs a mic, and Piper better be strapped, cause they're comin' for him next. Wolfpac is 4 LIFE and NWO is 2 SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET. Obviously this is not rateable, and I'm not rating anymore of the 1 or 2 minute long matches prior to an NWO run-in. And boy, there are going to be a lot of them.

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Here comes an NWO member...oh, it's just Eric Bischoff. Of course, he has a microphone. He talks a bunch of trash about Sting, and says that Sting needs to give up his chase of Hollywood. He says he'd slap Sting if Sting was in this ring. So, naturally...

 

IT'S STING

 

Yeah, he comes out through the ring, meaning from under, busting a hole in the ring, and gives Bisch a SCORPION DEATHDROP. End show.

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This wasn't so hot. Rating is poor, the best segment was at the beginning when Syxx slapped Flair, and the worst was that Nick Patrick crap. I hated it, but the crowd loved it.

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It's MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Mobile, Alabama. Wait a minute, wasn't RAW from Mobile this Monday? Talk about a coincidence.

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To open the show, we have exclusive footage of what happened once the show went off the air last week. Yeah, it was Bret Hart running Shawn Michaels into the ground, verbally speaking. Anyway, Shawn gave Bret SWEET CHIN MUSIC at the end of all that. The rest of the Hart Foundation chases Shawn to the stage, where they beat him up. Bulldog picks up Shawn to press slam him off the stage, but STONE COLD makes the save. He hits Bulldog in the back with a crutch, and both he and Michaels hold off the Harts.

 

Now, for the real beginning of the show. Austin gets a gigantic pop, this being the South, and all. Huge change from previous weeks, where he wasn't getting anything in the Midwest. He's going to talk to JR, I suppose. He doesn't care about Shawn, he just wanted to get at the Hart Foundation. Well, Shawn comes down to the ring, and says that he wanted to do the same. They share a common bond, you see. Austin wants Shawn to take his ass backstage. And now, they brawl. It was nice to see a good opening to the show, and not mindless blabbering. Officials pull them apart, and then, Owen Hart begins to say something on the TitanTron. He challenges both Shawn and Austin to a match next week, for Bulldog and Owen's tag titles. Hell yeah, son. Shawn wants to do so, but not with Austin. And Austin doesn't want Shawn as his partner, so they fight again.

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JR and King are on commentary again, which is good. No Vader vs. Crush tonight, because Vader's unable to compete, as a result of having his nose busted up by Ken Shamrock. Instead, our King of the Ring First Round match will be between Crush w/the Nation and Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna.

 

- As far as why HHH is allowed back in, it's because he wasn't briefed properly by the official last week, as Gerald Brisco says. HHH is back in because the WWF doesn't want him to take legal action. Well played.

 

- Heel vs. heel is never good. This is not an exception. HHH sends Chyna in the ring with the referee distracted, but the referee catches onto the charade. So now he's distracted by Chyna, and Savio Vega jumps on the apron. He tries to kick HHH, but kicks Crush on accident, giving HHH the pinfall at 3:56. *1/4. Savio and Crush push each other, so Faarooq comes to the ring to break that up. TEASING DISSENSION.

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Our next match is Bob Holly vs. Owen Hart (WWF Intercontinental Champion) w/Jim Neidhart and the British Bulldog, in a non-title match.

 

- Holly's from Alabama, so he's a little over, for once. Seeing as this is a non-title match, something's up. Something always has to be up. King interviewed two hicks earlier in the day, in a clip that was shown before the match...really wasn't that funny. Owen's friends left ringside, instead, they're standing at the stage.

 

- I liked this one very much, unfortunately, it was short. Owen went for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Holly grabbed him by the hair and cradled him, for the 3 count at 3:38. **, like I said, something was up. Anyhow, Owen's buddies try to attack Holly, but he runs away. This is how all 4 minute matches should be, all out.

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We flashback to that Paul Bearer stuff last week, in which he said he'd reveal a secret if Taker didn't came back under his wing. After, HBK's with Ken Shamrock. See, that's who he wants to be his partner. Ha.

 

Mankind has the first part of his interviews with Jim Ross. I can't quite do it justice, so watch it. I'd link to them on youtube, but they're not there. Only one is, I think, and that's not good enough. This one mostly talks about pain and being picked on.

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So, to follow that, we get this great match between Leif Cassidy and Scott Taylor.

 

- King talks about RVD before the match, seeing as he was on Raw last week. He puts down ECW a bunch, and the match begins with a Snow pescado.

 

- Taylor nearly botches a springboard crossbody to the outside, and later, Cassidy gives Taylor a really hard spinebuster. Anyhow, Taylor cradles Cassidy on a front suplex reversal, giving him the pinfall. I didn't time it, because I was surprised at the quick start of the match. 3/4*, nearly botched spots in a match that short are a no-no. After the match, Cassidy jumps up in JR's face and starts screaming at him, like a maniac. I like this angle. He did this last week when losing, too.

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Sable's in the back, and hey, Austin walked in on her while she was changing. See, Austin wants her to be his tag team partner. Obviously, she won't do it. On that note, we go to

 

THE WARZONE

 

So, the Hart Foundation come to the ring, as Vince McMahon joins us for commentary during Hour 2. Boo. Bret starts talking, and the first thing I noticed is that he's getting better at this. Good thing. His surprise is that he'll be back at King of the Ring, and he wants to challenge Shawn Michaels to a match. We know why this didn't happen, but we'll go through it anyway. He says, if he can't beat Shawn in 10 minutes, he'll never wrestle in the US again. Shawn appears on the TitanTron, and tears into Bret. First he says that each of Bret's stablemates have to be handcuffed to the ringposts in order to get him to take the match. Now it gets good. We get the Sunny Days comment from Shawn, after Shawn claims Bret couldn't last 10 minutes in any situation. Day-um. Bret doesn't really say anything to counter that, ending the segment. He got owned, but that said, it's always better to take the high road.

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Our next match is Goldust vs. Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man.

 

- Before the bout, Goldust asks who would like to see Marlena. The people say yeah, and he says, he can do better. He'll bring out two Marlena's, his wife, and his daughter. It was funny to see his daughter run around the ring, and this was done, obviously, because of those interviews he's had in weeks previous talking about himself. Whoever (probably Russo) decided to have in-depth, multi part interviews with the wrestlers did a really, really smart thing. It helped character development immensely. If in fact that was Russo's idea, I'll have to give him his due, for that, anyway.

 

- At the end of the bout, Honky tries to hit Goldust with his guitar. Goldust takes it away, and breaks it over Honky's head, at 4:05. Why the time, you say? Because some genius decided that hitting a wrestler's manager is worth a disqualification. Minor nitpick, *1/4.

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Ahmed Johnson is in the back, he thinks Faarooq was right last week when he was talking about the lack of a black WWF Champion. He's no racist, though, and he says he'll be the first black WWF Champion, not Faarooq.

 

Stone Cold is with Harvey Wippleman, and he wants Harvey to be his tag partner. The Brooklyn Brawler comes into the picture, wanting to be Austin's partner. Austin kicks his ass, and says that Harvey has no choice. He'll be Austin's partner.

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Rocky Maivia faces Faarooq next, and Faarooq is accompanied by the Nation.

 

- PG-13 are gone. See ya. They didn't come out with the Nation tonight. Faarooq wants Rocky to join the Nation. Rocky tells him to shove it.

 

- These short matches are going to become increasingly more frequent, from what I remember. The DOMINATOR finished the bout at 2:49. *. No attack on Rocky, as the Nation just leaves.

 

We go to the back, as there's commotion. Well, the Harts are beating on Bob Holly. That's why you must job, son.

 

Following that, THE UNDERTAKER comes to the ring for an interview with Vince. He says that playing the race card was a bad decision for Faarooq. He also says he's neither black or white, but the REAPER OF WAYWARD SOULS. Man, I was HOWLIN' at that. Paul Bearer appears on the TitanTron, and wants to let the secret out. Taker says he needs more time to think about his proposition, that being that Bearer wants to manage Taker again. Taker has SEVEN days.

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Our main event is Jim Neidhart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin w/a crutch.

 

- The Harts come down to ringside early, and Pillman goes on guest commentary. He says that paybacks are a bitch, meaning for Austin. Austin attacks Pillman on the outside, and when Pillman gets up, he runs in and hits Austin with a crutch, at 1:50. No rating. Shawn comes to the ring with a chair, and cleans house. Safe, unprotected chair shots. He didn't go to town like most would. JR grabs a microphone, and tells both Austin and HBK that Gorilla Monsoon has stated that they MUST team up against Owen and Bulldog next week. You know how I said I write full match reviews for stuff of importance? This is definitely of fuckin' importance. And to end the show, Austin and HBK fight.

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Good way to end a poor in-ring show. The show still gets a rating of good, with the best segment being Shawn's burial of Bret, and the worst being uh, HHH's reentry into the King of the Ring. This is a historic show for so many reasons. I think we all know about Shawn and Bret fighting after that Sunny Days comment, so yeah. I don't really need to go into detail, do I? RAW wins this week, because, well, their show was longer.

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Now, the first Nitro, from the Mall of American in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm not giving anything the full review here, cause this column is running long as it is. Secondly, nothing's that important except for Flair/Sting, and there are far better matches between them. While I started watching WCW around this time, I've never watched this show. I have, however, seen Fall Brawl 1995. But I was 7 and that was a long time ago.

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A few words from Eric Bischoff (now, actually, when this channel first started running the MNW) open the show. Enjoy. He, Mongo and Bobby Heenan are on commentary.

 

The first match on the show, as we all know, is Jushin Lyger vs. Flyin' Brian. At least I think everyone knows that.

 

- Sounds good to me. Pillman botches a hurricanrana, bad enough that it gets a small mention. "He barely even got him with that one!" Mongo sucks on commentary. Boy, he sucks.

 

- Pillman didn't really carry his share of the load in the match. I'm just being honest. Anyway, Lyger picks him up for a german suplex, and Pillman frontflips forward, grabbing Lyger's legs victory roll style, picking up the win at 6:52. **1/4. Sorta disappointing.

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After the bout, Sting cuts a promo on Ric Flair. After, Bobby Heenan talks about the Monday Night War. Obviously, this was added in, and didn't occur back then.

 

Bischoff is with Hulk Hogan brother, Pastamania at the Mall of America's runnin' wild, brother, what's Bubba Rogers gonna do, brother, Pastamaniacs brother gonna run wild on Bubba, brother.

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And here we go, it's Ric Flair vs. Sting for the US Title.

 

- And while it's not as good as some of their other matches, boy, it's a fun one. Sting's wearing BRIGHT pink, and hey, WHO THE HELL IS THAT? It's LEX LUGER, GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Bischoff nearly ruined that segment with his "shock and awe." He just sounded so...fake. Flair and Sting stopped to stare, as this happened prior to their match.

 

- Sting knocks Flair around, until Flair crossbodies Sting, which sends both out of the ring. That was pretty funny. During the "commercial break," Arn Anderson talked about WCW. Of course this was inserted in.

 

- Sting's done four gorilla press slams thus far. FOUR! Arn came down to ringside, at about 5:35. Sting does a superplex later, and Bischoff overreacts, similar to how Michael Cole does. You know, "he tossed him out of the ring, that's a THIRTY FOOT fall, Tazz." Like that. Flair slaps on the FIGURE-FOUR, and Sting makes it to the ropes. HOWEVER, Flair doesn't release the hold, and gets disqualified at 8:42 (shown). Arn comes into the ring, and both he and Flair fight to the back. They had a match signed for Fall Brawl, remember? A very fun *** match.

 

After the Flair/Arn fight, Scott Norton comes to ringside. He argues with Mongo, until Randy Savage comes out. He wants to fight Norton right now, but later, we find out that this match will occur next week.

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Back from the break, we have a Sabu video onscreen. Good one. Mean Gene says that some guy won a Harley Davidson. Ok. And on WCW Saturday Night, Johnny B. Badd will be facing Dick Slater, and the Blue Bloods will face Sting and Randy Savage. Sounds good to me.

 

Last of all that, we get a Mr. Wallstreet promo. YES! He didn't want any part of the New Generation, so he's in WCW, where the big boys play.

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The main event on this show is Big Bubba Rogers vs. Hulk Hogan w/Jimmy Hart for the WCW Heavyweight Title.

 

- Heenan mentions that Rogers was a prison guard. Good thing he didn't take the conversation further than that, cause I thought WCW wasn't allowed to mention him being the Big Bossman, or anything resembling it. Heenan also tells us of his conversation with Kevin Sullivan, where Sullivan says that Hogan will never understand what's going to happen to him. I'll see where this is headed at the end of the match.

 

- A guy in the front row has a Hogan Sucks sign, but this cop comes over, and he quits raising it up for the whole world to see. Rogers takes Jimmy Hart's jacket away, so Hogan begins to choke Rogers with it. I've gotta mention, the crowd is, um, not with Hogan's whole act here. To describe their reaction as mild is probably an overstatement. After the Bossman Slam, Hogan goes into the routine, to little reaction. Hulk-up, 1, 2, BIG BOOT, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG for 3 at 7:08. *1/4, at least it was short and inoffensive.

 

After the match, here comes the DUNGEON. Oh my God. Honestly, my first reaction when seeing Leslie dressed as the Zodiac was, "what the FUCK." Kamala, Sullivan, the ZODIAC, Meng and the Shark were the ones I noticed. I think that was all of them. Anyhow, LEX LUGER came to the ring and saved Hogan. They nearly fight, so Sting and Savage run in to pull them away from each other. Then there's a "commercial," where Gene Okerlund talks about the MNW. He runs down for the interview on Nitro, and Hogan says, Luger doesn't have to prove anything to him, so he'll face him next week on Nitro. And that's the end of the show.

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Good debut show. That's my rating. The best segment was Sting/Flair with the Arn/Flair brawl, and the worst was that Dungeon of Doom shit. Man, that was terrible. The Zodiac walked down the aisle so damn funny. Well, watching this, I can see why they competed with the WWF. Their offering was better than what the WWF was doing at the time on Raw. There isn't much of a contest, unfortunately, they couldn't keep doing this. It wasn't possible to give away matches like this for free, I mean, Luger vs. Hogan in their first meeting, on Nitro? Looking back, it's not the best move for business, even if extremely enjoyable.

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Lastly, we have the Shorties Section, featuring 7 great debuts. I watched them in chronological order, and the first one was...Justin Hawk Bradshaw w/Dutch Mantel Uncle Zebakiah vs. Hakushi from 3/4/96. Note, all of the debutees(?) are listed first.

 

- In regards to these shorties, my thoughts aren't necessarily on the match. It's basically a reflective thing.

 

- I noticed people were complaining about JBL's flab a few weeks ago. When he was younger, there was more. Much more. Roddy Piper's on the phone, he's mainly talking about Goldust and the Ultimate Warrior. My, how things have changed.

 

- This match was basically a squash, and the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL finishes the match at 4:11. Well, while some things change, others stay the same. He then hogties Hakushi, and Uncle Zeb brands him with a branding iron. *1/2.

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Our next one is Stone Cold Steve Austin's debut, against Savio Vega from 3/11/96. Ted DiBiase is Austin's manager.

 

- I guess Austin's time as the Ringmaster doesn't count. Austin's wearing white boots from his time as part of the Hollywood Blondes, in case you've watched this and didn't notice. They're laced differently, but me, I notice stuff like that. There's a black star on them, so, I figured it out. Also, Mark Henry's at ringside.

 

- Austin's style is far different than that which most people remember. Far more wrestling than brawling, here. This match ends with a double countout at 6:10 (shown). **...both men brawl after, which sets up their match at WrestleMania XII. Vega gets the best of the post-match scuffle.

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Third up, is FAAROOQ ASAD w/Sunny vs. Skip from 8/12/96.

 

- Faarooq's outfit....goodness. I've heard a lot about it, but my mind blocked out what it actually looked like. The helmet?

 

- It's pretty funny to see Sunny cheering on Faarooq while he kicks her boyfriend's ass. Jake Roberts is facing Jerry Lawler at SummerSlam 1996, remember. The DOMINATOR finishes at 4:31. There was an audible "ooh" from the crowd when Faarooq did that. I thought Faarooq would have the Hercules face theme. Guess not. *3/4, just a squash, but awfully entertaining.

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Chris Jericho's debut was on RAW, when he interrupted the Rock. Because the MNW will eventually roll around to this point, I'm not going to cover it. I found it funny that he "came to save the WWF," and he re-debuted a few months ago claiming the exact same thing. Am I the only one who noticed that? So, after this great debut...why exactly did he start wrestling in the midcard against guys like Road Dogg, Ken Shamrock and X-Pac? Cause he didn't work WWE style?

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Eric Bischoff's debut is up now. Well, it was pretty much the most surprising thing I've ever seen happen in Vince's promotion. They didn't add Booker's reaction to this, which means I don't really wanna watch it. I did, though, and it's boring, outside of the original shock factor. Don't rewatch this. When it happened it was the craziest shit ever. Oh yeah, I didn't even say what happened. Bischoff became RAW GM. Hopefully you knew that.

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Dave Batista faced Justin Credible on 11/4/02.

 

- Credible's look is real funny. Also, Batista looks to be far more mobile in this clip. He destroys Credible, and finishes with the sitout powerbomb at 1:25. *. This was fine.

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Remember how Goldberg debuted on Rock Appreciation Night?

 

- Well, I do. Rock's talking about retirement, which brings me to another topic. Why do all these idiots act like the Rock owes WWE and the fans something? Sure, I'd like for him to come back for a night, but he doesn't owe us shit. I hate reading people's comments about how ungrateful he is. Grow up. Whew, now I feel better.

 

- Rock said he's beaten everyone, so Goldberg comes out. You wanna know who's next, well, YOU'RE NEXT. Spear, and that's that. WWE fucked Goldberg's run up so bad, but in truth, I don't think it would've been a success anyway. He was 4 years removed from his peak, and once you go away, it's hard to regain the fan support you had before. It's not like he stayed active on television like Austin and Hogan do. Sure, they fucked Goldberg up, but you have to enter the new fan into the equation. You can't push people solely on old success in different promotions, because there are going to be people out there who don't care about that, and don't want to care about that. They're worried about right now. The roster (as a result of the brand extension) was too thin to have him squashing people all the time, so, we got what we got.

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The last debut, was Mickie James' debut. She teamed up with Ashley and Trish to take on Torrie Wilson, Victoria, and Candice Michelle. This is from 10/17/05.

 

- This should be short. What's up with Victoria being dressed like white trash? Anyhow, she cradles Mickie at 1:47 for the win. *. Mickie does Trish's finisher to Victoria in an attempt to impress Trish, and that's it. I think we know where this goes, to the lesbian thing.

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Wow, that was a long column. Anyway, that's it. Next, I'll review Royal Rumble '88, and after, I'll review Smackdown, PTW and the NWA weekly offering. The Lakers play on Monday, so I'm going to watch the 10:00 hour of RAW first, and then the 9:00 hour second, when I find RAW on dailymotion or something. So basically, in reverse. It's the only way.

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