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  1. Let's see how this compares to Nitro, shall we? ___________________ Rick Rude comes out, and wants everyone to shut up. I thought he was going to launch into the old routine. Similar, but instead of taking his robe off, he just asked everyone to be quiet. He cracks a few insurance jokes, and leaves. He sells insurance to all. ___________________ Owen Hart and The British Bulldog will face The Legion of Doom in our first match. - Slaughter and Shawn Michaels were arguing in the back prior to this... - At about the four minute mark, Animal tags in, and the Godwinns head down to the ring. One of them hits Animal with a slop bucket, and Owen pins Animal for the win at 4:58. *3/4. After the bout, all three teams fight. Nothing was solved. ___________________ Mankind has some comments about Taker...he still hasn't forgotten their feud not so long ago. Shawn Michaels says that he's mad about the WWF, then we've got ___________________ Sunny to the ring, to introduce Brian Christopher vs. Flash Funk. - Both Christopher and Funk had some recorded comments. Christopher wanted to face a heavyweight after his disappointing loss to Taka Michinoku. Vince's comments that try to put Flash over are hilarious. "Oh he's so funky." Picture it. Lawler wants his son to give Funk a piledriver, but his words distract Christopher, leading to a Funk 450 splash for the victory at 3:41. **. ___________________ Taker comments on Shawn, and then says that Mankind had better stay in line. Well, he's right. ___________________ The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik is up against Ken Shamrock. - Shamrock is quite popular. Sheik jumps up on the apron and is given a belly-to-belly suplex. Shamrock rana's Sultan, slaps on the ANKLE LOCK, and Sultan taps out at 3:16. *1/2. Dominant performance. ___________________ The Nation of Domination comes down for an interview...Faarooq first. He says that Ahmed Johnson is a white man. No shit. He said that Ahmed couldn't be white if they sandblasted his ass. Very harsh. Just kidding about the "no shit" comment in regards to Ahmed being white. Rocky's got the microphone now, and calls the Disciples of Apocalypse a bunch of racists. Well, the Harris Brothers are part of the faction. I'd call it likely. It's a good heat promo from Rocky too. Calls the fans jackasses and that sort of thing, until DOA pop up on the TitanTron. They're there to kick ass. Come on down to the parking lot and they'll fight. After HHH cuts a promo, they do fight. Until Los Boricuas take DOA's choppers. LOL. ___________________ Jesse Jammes vs. Brian Pillman in a dress... - Funny dress, this one. I don't like this angle anymore. Goldust comes out and elbowdrops Jammes, which leads to Pillman getting DQ'd at 1:47. Good finish. That should happen in all "you must ________ if you lose" matches. - Afterward, Pillman says that he'll leave if Goldust can beat him. Well! But, if Pillman beats Goldust, Marlena has to be Pillman's personal assistant for thirty days. Goldust declines, but Pillman says that Dakota is his lovechild. Goldust runs to the ring to beat Pillman up, but can't get to him. Marlena accepts Pillman's challenge, and Goldust ain't too happy about it. ___________________ Vader cuts a promo, and now that the Warzone has begun, it's TIME. Vader's facing the Patriot. - Bret comes down the aisle, just to stand there. Don't like the way they use Vader, jobbing him out, I mean. Bret being out to watch sucks all the heat out of the match. Or maybe this is the Atlantic City crowd. We'll see. Full nelson slam gets the win for the Patriot at 4:56. Good win for him. **. Vader knocks the Patriot off the apron, and beats him up on the inside. He's going to give Patriot a VADER BOMB, but Bret places the Canadian flag on Patriot. That pissed Vader off pretty bad. Vader breaks the Canadian flag, then he and Bret fight. Patriot won't let Vader get beat up, either. Go Vader! ___________________ Bret cuts a promo in the back, says that Vader's next after the Patriot. Well, go figure. Steve Austin had a great sit down interview with Jim Ross in which he talked about his neck injury. Great. Great. Great. ___________________ Triple H and Shawn Michaels w/Chyna are now going to face The Undertaker and Mankind in the main event... - Shawn's interaction with Chyna prior to the match was funny. Think it's kinda funny that WWF and WCW ran two big tag matches on the same night. - All these dudes are still involved with the company. BUT TAKER RETIURD!1!11!1 - Before the commercial, Rick Rude came out. Good. Total brawl in front of a not heated AC crowd, Rude distracts, which leads to HHH being given a chokeslam by Taker. Shawn hits Taker in the head with a chair for the DQ at 8:31, and Taker blades. Again in the head, then Taker sits up, and the future DX leaves. All over. **3/4. ___________________ Rating: Great. Angles were really top notch, and wrestling was okay for TV. However, crowd sucked a fat one. Best Segment: I liked when Vader kicked Bret's ass. Worst Segment: Pillman in a dress. ___________________ RAW wins this time, by far. Next I'll review Vengeance 2007.
  2. Sorry I couldn't do the Boston show. I was too wrapped up in NHL free agency and couldn't find time to do it before it went off. We're gonna separate the Nitro and RAW reviews again. ___________________ Comments from Raven open the show. Guess what sort of things he says. Not a very typical WCW open, mind. ___________________ Harlem Heat w/Jacqueline vs. Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell w/Vincent is going to be our first match. - Jackie shows up with the Heat during Nitro for the first time. I really like the Southern crowds that ooo every move. You know what I'm talkin' about. Booker's in, and he's a house of fire. Vincent interferes, that gives Harlem Heat the win by DQ at 4:36. Booker beats all of them up. All. *3/4. Nice way to give Booker a short little push there. ___________________ Next up, we've got the Barbarian facing Mortis w/James Vandenberg. - LOL. Just a funny match. Mortis has a great moveset, as you all know. Not near as heated as the last match, but Barbarian wins with a big boot at 2:22. Weird time. Anyway, Wrath comes out and gives Barb the DEATH PENALTY. OMG. Then Meng runs out and puts the GRIP on Wrath until Wrath and Mortis gather themselves and leave. *1/4. ___________________ Eric Bischoff comes out, and says that he wants everyone to come to the NWO Birthday Party at Clash XXXV this Thursday. I already covered that. Bischoff says that a restraining order was given to Larry Z as well. I did not know this. Curt Hennig and Ric Flair then have an interview with Mean Gene, in which they talk about the Clash. Hennig still is not a Horseman. ___________________ Stevie Richards vs. Scotty Riggs will be Richards first match on Nitro... - Knowing what will happen to both, this is funny! Somewhat lengthy for this sort of match, and unfortunately, it wasn't anything special. STEVIEKICK finishes Riggs at 5:13, then Raven comes through the crowd and gives Richards a DDT. Raven got a huge babyface reaction. HUGE. *. ___________________ Jeff Jarrett and Eddie Guerrero talked with Mean Gene...Alex Wright apparently wants to join their group. But Debra says that he needs a title first. Okay. They cut out Jarrett and Guerrero vs. Benoit and Mongo, I believe. Paid announcement by the NWO... ___________________ Hour #2 begins with an Outsiders promo. They talk about how everyone came to see the NWO, that this is NWO Country and that stuff. Luger and Page will face them tonight, I don't think they care. ___________________ Syxx vs. Ric Flair is now. - They were talking earlier about this being Konnan vs. Ric Flair. Suppose not. - Competitive, but you can see that Flair is just not feeling it tonight. Syxx misses the BRONCOBUSTER, so Flair beats him up. FIGURE-FOUR time, but the B-Team comes in and beats Flair up until Hennig runs out for the save. 5:46 the time, Flair wins by DQ. **. ___________________ JJ Dillon and Gene Okerlund talk about the referee situation from Road Wild...then Randy Anderson and Nick Patrick argue and I don't care at all. ___________________ LA PARKA w/Sonny Onoo vs. Ultimo Dragon is for the TV Title... - Dragon with the plancha! Good action, of course. Onoo kicks Dragon a bunch on the outside, but Dragon gives La Parka a frankensteiner, prior to applying the DRAGON SLEEPER. Onoo distracts the Dragon, but accidentally knees La Parka in the back, allowing the DRAGON SLEEPER to be locked in, for the submission at 4:08. Dragon retains. **1/2, for much fun. ___________________ Curt Hennig is going to face The Giant. - The green lighting during the Giant's entrance makes him look pretty funny. Why they would job Hennig here I have no idea. - Bischoff comes out, and says that the Giant's violating the restraining order. Now this makes sense. Doug Dillinger says that the Giant doesn't have to get back, but the Giant walks over and gets counted out at 3:43. He then stares down Bischoff, and Bischoff turns around, but...Larry Z is in his way. Oh man. Bischoff tries to run into the crowd, can't make it, and they both chase him to the back. 1/2* for the match. ___________________ Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon, who says that he isn't sure Sting wants to be a part of WCW anymore. Sting needs to step up his effort, and he has until the Clash to say something. Sting comes down, puts hands on Dillon, and points to some signs. You know what signs. Then he grabs a sign that says Hulk vs. Sting. Oh yeah! After a paid announcement from the NWO... ___________________ Diamond Dallas Page and Lex Luger are facing The Outsiders for the WCW Tag Team Championships. - Toothpick on Luger is LOL worthy, as always. Nash wants to fight Page, and he's got Page. Very heated match we have here...Page is the face in peril, btw. I don't understand how the match at the Clash is supposed to draw ratings when you've got this main on Nitro... - Glad we got a REAL main event tonight. After drawing the big tag out as long as possible, Luger tags in at the 13 minute mark. Crowd went batshit, but as soon as Luger enters, the NWO interferes, at 13:41. Made perfect sense. For three quarters of a match, I can only go with **1/4, but with a good ending sequence and finish, would've been three stars easy. Anyway, the NWO beats up Luger and Page, until Ric Flair and the Giant run down and even things up. They kick ass, too, as the babyfaces regain the advantage. And that should've been your WCW WarGames team right there, facing Syxx, Nash, Hall, and Savage. But then you have the problem of filling out a terrible midcard, and Hogan wasn't showing up. So, NAW. ___________________ Rating: Good. I thought the main was pretty fun, and the angles were somewhat enjoyable. Best Segment: Whole main event thing. Worst Segment: Bischoff's waste of time promo inviting everyone to the NWO Birthday Party. Okay. ___________________ RAW from the same week will be next.
  3. Tony, Brain, and Lee Marshall will commentate. ___________________ Scott Hall will face Konnan... - First, Hall cuts a promo. No surprise there. Everyone wants to see the Wolfpac, judging by the survey he gave. - The match begins, and you could tell that Hall is drunk. No surprise there. Some guy with a sign walks by, and the sign says "Who booked this crap?" Awesome. Hall makes sure that people begin to boo him by cheating, and he wins with the OUTSIDERS EDGE at 6:40. **. Sloppy as could be, but still entertaining. ___________________ Raven w/Lodi is going to face Horace, after Raven cuts a promo. - Love the sign gimmick. Lodi keeps Raven from hitting Horace with a stop sign for some reason. I don't know why. Raven's Rules, don't forget. The rest of the Flock comes out, and they all run in when Lodi won't beat up Horace, which is a, um, no contest at 3:31. Saturn runs out and everyone stops beating Horace up...then Horace and the rest of the Flock beats up Saturn. Kanyon runs out and beats up the Flock...until Saturn hits Kanyon. What the fuck is this? * for the match, negatives for the angle. ___________________ Tony interviews Stevie Ray...who wants to face The Giant. You see, Jericho was able to steal the TV Title that Stevie was holding for Booker thanks to The Giant. Stevie must get that belt back. ___________________ Chavo Guerrero w/Pepe(!) vs. Chris Jericho for the Television Title is right now. - I love Pepe. Apparently, Jericho broke him a while back. Damn him. - A commercial is in the middle, and after a very fun match, Jericho breaks Pepe again. LOL. I busted up pretty good. Chavo had the funniest look on his face. Chavo goes under the ring, and hits Jericho with a Pepe-on-a-bat for the DQ at 7:30(shown). What the hell. **1/2. Hilarious show thus far. ___________________ Mike Tenay is on commentary...Bret Hart comes down, and says he won't lose. Period. ___________________ After that, Public Enemy are going to face Disco Inferno and Alex Wright w/Tokyo Magnum. - The latter group is the best ever. E-V-E-R. The Disco gimmick would no doubt get over today. PE's table comes in, and Tokyo takes the hit, keeping Wright from beign down for the count. Wright gives Grunge a neckbreaker, picking up the win at 3:24. Meng attacks after the match for no apparent reason at all, and gives everyone the TONGAN DEATH GRIP. Jimmy Hart sends Barbarian to the ring, and he's given a TONGAN DEATH GRIP too. So everyone is left in the ring thanks to Meng. 1/2* for the match. ___________________ Kevin Nash cuts a promo about wanting Goldberg to join the Wolfpac, and then we've got Kevin Nash vs. Curt Hennig w/Rick Rude. - Weird matchup. Although Hennig vs. Rude would've been fun back in the day. - Hennig's on too many steroids. He's gigantic. Rude hits the referee at around 3:15, but the bell never rings. Rude gets ready to fight Nash, and Scott Hall sneaks in to attack Nash. They kick his ass, until Lex Luger runs down and saves Nash. I like Rude's character. 1/2*. ___________________ Stevie Ray vs. Eddie Guerrero is right now. - This should be grand. The Giant and Scott Hall are drinking (lol) in the aisleway, as these two combatants are fucking this up something fierce. Stevie poked Eddie in the eye and my cousin went OOOH! Like real loud. So, of course, I laughed. I don't know how WCW could let Eddie Guerrero get squashed by this slug, but he did, and it was finished with the SLAPJACK at 4:05. -*. Just watch the match if you don't agree with my rating. There were mistakes all over the place. ___________________ Now, in our main event, we have Bret Hart vs. Lex Luger for the United States Championship. - I hate when wrestlers don't wear their gear. And Luger's not. This isn't a dream match, but it's still one that people would be interested in. Bret dominates the match until the 7 minute mark, at which point Luger takes control with a few clotheslines. Bret grabs a chair, but can't use it. Luger grabs a hold of it, but the referee takes it, only to have Bret push Luger into the poor little guy. Bret DDT's Luger on the chair, but the cover only got two. SHARPSHOOTER'S on, and we've got a new United States Champion as Luger passes out at 9:38. **, and the show's over. ___________________ Rating: Decent. Average show, with much hilarity. Gotta watch it. Best Segment: Chavo vs. Jericho Worst Segment: Stevie Ray vs. Eddie Guerrero was an embarassment to wrestling. And the stuff with the Flock was pretty bad too. ___________________ I'll review that Boston house show next.
  4. After Road Wild, and The Giant has been given a restraining order. Oh Lord, these angles suck. Also, we're from Denver! ___________________ The Wolfpac come out, talk about the Steiners, and then, The Outsiders take on two jobbers. - The Steiners music hit, which introduced the Outsiders opponents. How cute. Nash jackknifes the one with red hair for the win at 1:28. 1/4*. Lame. Steiners run through the crowd and beat the Wolfpac up. Good! ___________________ Meng is taking on Wrath w/James Vandenberg... - They meet in the aisle, and Meng beats him up on the inside. Haku vs. Adam Bomb is the stuff of dreams. Meng applies the TONGAN DEATH GRIP, which gets THE WIN at 2:40. So, Wrath's first TV loss is to a lower midcard guy in less than three minutes. That makes a lot of sense. *. Mortis and Barbarian run down to beat each other up. ___________________ The Steiners and Ted DiBiase are with Gene Okerlund, for an interview. They say that the Outsiders were lucky to have had such an incompetent official for their match at Road Wild. ___________________ Eddie Guerrero faces Chris Jericho here... - One of many matches soon to take place between these two. After Jericho german's Eddie on his head, he gives Eddie a GIANT SWING. Eddie crotches Jericho on the top rope, and FROG SPLASHES him from all the way across the ring. All over at 4:33. **1/4. Entertaining. ___________________ Alex Wright invades during a Nitro Girl performance, then cuts a promo about how bad these fans are. ___________________ Now we've got Dean Malenko against Jeff Jarrett w/Debra for the US Title. - Road Wild explains this matchup. Read the results. Jarrett wanted to leave the area, but an appearance from Mongo brought him back to the ring. Some WarGames hype follows from our commentary crew, and then Dean applies the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF. Eddie Guerrero runs in, and along with Jarrett, beats Dean up for the DQ at 4:13 (shown). *1/2. Mongo hits all the heels, and Dean beats up Mongo when he comes to. Weird. ___________________ Mean Gene is with Curt Hennig and Ric Flair...then the other Four Horsemen come out, and they talk about Hennig's match against Savage later tonight, and the Clash XXXV tag between Hennig & Flair who are facing Konnan and Syxx. ___________________ Hour #2 begins, with Scott Norton and Eric Bischoff coming down to the ring. The Giant was supposed to face Norton, but this whole restraining order thing got in the way. Other NWO guys came out and sung happy birthday to Hogan...so, the guy wins the World Title on the previous night and doesn't come to TV the next day. That makes a ton of sense. Buff Bagwell spraypaints the fifty feet line, and the Giant comes out to cross it. WHOA. Larry Z comes out to bring him back, and Scott Hall toothpicks Larry. They nearly fight. All done! ___________________ Lex Luger calls out Hulk Hogan, and then, we have Buff Bagwell w/Vincent vs. DDP. - Strange matchup. Not very entertaining, although competitive. DIAMOND CUTTER finishes at 4:09 after Vincent botches interference. *. ___________________ On the Road... ___________________ We've got Mortis w/James Vandenberg vs. Ultimo Dragon for the Television Title... - Now THIS is a strange matchup. Dragon powerbombs Mortis from the second rope and locks in the DRAGON SLEEPER for the submission at 3:09. *3/4. I do not understand why Mortis and Wrath have been jobbed out tonight. ___________________ JJ Dillon wants Sting back, Sting comes to the ring, and Dillon offers him a contract to face Syxx. Syxx? That's a step down from last week, when Dillon asked him to face Curt Hennig. Sting rips the contract up and leaves. ___________________ In our main event, we have Curt Hennig vs. Randy Savage w/Liz. - All I can think about while watching this is, if only this had happened 9 years earlier. Page runs down for the no contest at 3:05, and he gets beaten up by Hall and Savage. Elbowdrops galore, as Hennig has been tossed out. Luger runs down, and we have our Clash XXXV main event. Easy as that. 1/2*, end show. ___________________ Rating is poor, didn't care for this at all. Best segment was Eddie/Jericho, worst was Savage/Hennig. Cause it was disappointing, you know? ___________________ RAW this week is from Biloxi, Mississippi. ___________________ Shawn Michaels is out, talking about SummerSlam and such, before the crowd chants that he's gay. "Why don't you ask your mom and sister how gay I am?" Slaughter comes out, spits in Shawn's face, and tells him to face Mankind. Okay. HBK talks about his insurance policy... ___________________ The British Bulldog and Owen Hart are out, to watch Hawk face Henry Godwinn in a Country Whippin' Match. - To win, you must toss your opponent out of the ring. Both guys have straps, but they are not attached to each other. Owen and Bulldog both challenge the Patriot during commentary... - Both men's partners run in, and Henry gets knocked out by Animal at 3:48, so Hawk wins. 1/2*. ___________________ Slaughter tosses Pillman his ring gear, as a guy named Tony Williams faces Scott Putski. - Goldust comes out to watch, because he's going to show us a split-screen view of Pillman putting on his dress. Oh Lord. Pillman's really distraught about this whole situation, and he can't even get the dress on. Polish Hammer wins, I had to open the front door so I don't have the etime. Anyway, Slaughter makes Goldust leave after the match. *. ___________________ Taker's going to watch Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind later. Okay. Flash Funk is facing Brian Pillman. - Nice dress! Vince and the crew hype Hardcore Heaven 1997 a bit, then Slaugher says that Bulldog and Owen will face the Patriot and a partner of his choosing. All these fucking cameos during matches are pissing me off. Ridiculous. Goldust comes out, and shows us the footage of Pillman putting on his dress. Funk cradles Pillman from behind for the win at 3:16. *1/4. ___________________ Dude Love comes out, for an interview. It's pretty funny. He talks about the damage Mankind will do to Shawn Michaels, until Shawn Michaels appears on the TitanTron and rebutts these statements. ___________________ Warzone begins, with Owen Hart and the British Bulldog facing the Patriot and his mystery partner...KEN SHAMROCK! - With Shamrock being the partner, Bulldog is quite terrified. After a commercial, we come back, and Bret Hart is on the walkway. Patriot makes the hot tag, and cleans house. Slaughter keeps Bret from walking down the ramp, and the referee is distracted as well. A chair comes in, the Hart Foundation can't use it, but Patriot full-nelson slams Bulldog onto the chair for the win at 8:06. **. ___________________ Shawn's with his insurance policy...but you can't see his face. During a Patriot interview, Bret attacks the Patriot. Of course, he kicks his ass. Obviously. ___________________ Faarooq is scheduled to face Chainz... - This will suck. Chainz clotheslines Faarooq into the referee on accident, and...Rocky Maivia(?) runs into the ring. ROCK BOTTOM on Chainz(!), and Faarooq pins him for the win at 3:04. What a surprise. 1/2*. I like it! ___________________ Sable's supposed to be the ring announcer for this next match, but Patriot comes to the ring and calls out Bret Hart. Bret Hart comes, and they fight. When the Hart Foundation come down, they really kick the Patriot's ass. Nobody runs in either. ___________________ Mankind tells Shawn Michaels that his insurance policy had better be life insurance... and after a Brakus vignette, we have ___________________ Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind in our main event. - Mankind brought a trash can. Unfortunately, Shawn put it on Mankind and the trash back stayed on the big lug. All covered up! This is a huge brawl, featuring lots of weird shit. Mick gets backdropped onto the announce table, and then for some reason, Shawn flies off the apron with an elbowdrop onto the announce table. These two have good chemistry. After Shawn rans Mankind's head into the post and back suplexes him onto the announce table, HHH and Chyna make their way out, as we head to a commercial. - We're back, and Mankind's mask has been ripped off. RICK RUDE(!) walks down to the ring, stands there for a moment, and then grabs a chair. He clocks Mick in the head with it, and SWEET CHIN MUSIC leads to the pinfall victory at 8:42. ***1/2 for an outstanding TV match. Undertaker heads down to the ring, but Paul Bearer shows up on the TitanTron. KANE IS COMING. You will BURN IN HELL! So yeah, show over. ___________________ Raw was good this time around, best segment was HBK/Mankind and the worst was Putski/Williams, in which we had to watch Pillman get dressed. Ugh. Way better than Nitro. ___________________ REVIEW WCW THUNDER Yeah, I'm reviewing that next.
  5. I watched this first, because I had some stuff to do. Couldn't fit Nitro in my 100 minute period. Raw's from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. ___________________ Hat Guy sighting! The Hart Foundation comes out, with Bret's newfound Federation Gold. We see a video from SummerSlam...where Shawn Michaels hit The Undertaker with a chair on accident. Bret wants Shawn to leave the Fed because he showed favoritism against him. Now, about the Patriot last week, that was a fluke. Bret then says that Pillman will not wear a dress, before showing the clip of Owen 3:16. We then see that Sgt. Slaughter is the new commissioner, who says that Bret Hart will defend his title against The Patriot at Ground Zero. Bulldog's gonna face Shamrock soon too. And Pillman's gonna wear a dress tonight. And Owen will get a rematch against Austin...only it'll be WHEN STONE COLD SAYS SO. Austin comes out RIGHT NOW, and he says so right now. Right now! He's gonna open a can of whoopass. ___________________ The Nation talk about the triple threat between Faarooq, Savio Vega, and Crush at Ground Zero, and then we've got Ken Shamrock vs. Kama Mustafa w/NOD. - 4 on 1. Well, until Slaughter came out and removed the Nation from ringside. So much for that. It's really a mess of a match. Two of the Boricuas come out and suplex Kama on the floor, so when Kama gets tossed in, he is given a belly-to-belly and loses to Shamrock at 3:03. DUD. Kama gives chase to Los Boricuas... ___________________ After the SummerSlam replay video (paying for a PPV replay is D-U-M-B)...we've got a Brakus vignette. LOL. Sunny then comes out (uh, yeah. Words do not describe.) to be our ring announcer for Taka Michinoku vs. Brian Christopher. - I've been waiting for this matchup. It was bound to come sooner or later. Lawler's commentary is either really funny, or really awful. It's all up to you. Christopher goes to the rolling suplexes, but gets rolled up by Taka at 3:27 before the third attempt. That's too bad! Christopher puts the boots to Taka afterwards, and tosses him out like a piece of trash. **. ___________________ Slaughter hands Pillman his dress, and tells Pillman that he'll wrestle in it until he wins on RAW. Some commish! Now, we've got HHH w/Chyna vs. Vader w/Paul Bearer. - Paul Bearer is in the back, running down Chyna before Vader makes his entrance. - He trips HHH while HHH is running the ropes, so Chyna gives him a dropkick. Then we have a double countout at 2:13. 3/4*. Not very fun. ___________________ The Patriot is going to face The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik... - The Patriot cut a promo about Ground Zero before the match...Sultan's gimmick fits well with the Patriot, I'd say. A Patriot full nelson slam finishes at 1:45. *. After the match, the Hart Foundation come down. BUT, Slaughter stops the rest, leaving Bret by his lonesome, oblivious to the fact that he has no backup. Patriot attacks Bret when Bret turns his back...heh. ___________________ We're in the WARZONE, and Shawn Michaels opens that up by making his way to the ring. He knows that everyone's blaming him, so now, he's going to blame everyone else for everything. Vince asks Shawn if he's in league with Bret Hart, so Shawn calls him a dumb son of a bitch. Once he did that, Vince announced Shawn vs. Taker for Ground Zero. Ha! Shawn's fine with it, because he's not going to lay down for the Deadman. The lights go out...and there's the Undertaker. Lights on, and Shawn's gone. Not a surprise. It's time to stop talking and kick ass. That's what he said. Paul Bearer shows up on the TitanTron, and damns Taker to hell. Kane's coming. YES HE IS. ___________________ Ahmed Johnson w/The Nation is supposed to face Chainz w/DOA. - In the back, we learn that the doctors will not clear Austin to wrestle tonight. Slaughter comes down to remove the extras...but Los Boricuas come down later, to steal Chainz's bike. That distracts him enough, allowing Ahmed to give him a PEARL RIVER PLUNGE for the victory at 2:11. 1/2*. After the match, Faarooq and the rest of the Nation attacks AHMED. WHAT? Sorry, that makes no sense. He's only been with them for three or four shows. ___________________ The Godwinns vs. The Headbangers is up next... - Damnit, I hate this matchup. Dude Love is going to face Owen Hart instead of Austin facing Owen. Henry's going to SLOP DROP Thrasher, and Phineas pins him at 3:51. *1/4. ___________________ Goldust comes out with Marlena...to watch Brian Pillman face Bob Holly. - Of course, Pillman's wearing a dress. Pretty large "faggot" chant erupts...those weren't such politically correct times. He's wearing a thong underneath his dress, unfortunately. And when Goldust distracts Pillman, Pillman gets counted out at 2:24. *. ___________________ Owen Hart vs. Dude Love is our main event... - Bret's out for commentary, btw. I can't ever get enough Owen...or Foley. Mick has a nasty bruise on his right arm, I should mention. - The match isn't very good. Vince wants to know why Lawler and Bret are buddy-buddy now, but that can't be answered. - After a commercial, we come back with, well, somewhat of a bore. Just not what I expected. Bulldog comes to the ring, so Slaughter is distracted. Bret then rams Love into the post, allowing Owen to apply the SHARPSHOOTER back in the ring. Austin walks down, grabs one of Owen's SLAMMIES, and hits Owen with it. Dude picks up the pinfall victory at 8:25. *3/4. Once the match is over, Dude gets molested in the corner. End show! ___________________ The show was bad. Too many short matches, too many not very good matches. Best segment was Taka vs. Brian Christopher (seriously), and the worst was The Nation of Domination's turn on Ahmed. I don't understand that one. ___________________ Not only is Nitro three hours long, it's also from Detroit, Michigan. ___________________ Hollywood Hogan opens the show by coming down to the ring...he honestly looks sad to be jobbing later on. Anyway, the painted on beard is gone as well. ___________________ Mortis w/James Vandenberg vs. Curt Hennig is going to open... - Sounds good to me. It's not that bad, but it's too damn short. The HENNIG-PLEX finishes at 3:46. *3/4. ___________________ Now, after a Sting video, we've got Dean Malenko and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra facing Hector and Chavo Guerrero. - Chavo and Dean's gear is too similar. A Malenko TEXAS CLOVERLEAF makes Hector tap out at 4:51. *1/2. ___________________ Mean Gene is with Stevie Richards and Raven...well, Stevie has a contract for Raven to sign. That shit won't fly. Raven spits on Stevie and slaps him, but Stevie catches Raven's hand before Raven can punch him. He doesn't want to be treated like this anymore. ___________________ The Giant is going to face Lenny Lane, Joey Maggs, and Scott D'Amore in a handicap match... - Big time lolz here. The Giant CHOKESLAMS all of them, and pins all of them at 1:35. Savage and Liz come out, and the Giant gives chase before the commercial. ___________________ After a Luger video, we've got High Voltage vs. Public Enemy. - Oh man, not this match again. I hate it. Of course it's formula, but in-offensive. I just hate both teams. - Rocco Rock flies through a table, but when Rage accidentally hits Kaos, Public Enemy picks up the victory after a Grunge rollup at 5:12. *1/2. After the match, Kaos hits Grunge with a piece of the table that Rock flew through. ___________________ Alex Wright interrupts the Nitro Girls routine with some dancing of his own...before talking to Gene Okerlund. Only talks about his rematch against Jericho at Road Wild, before heading to the ring to face Scotty Riggs. - Thank goodness that the American Males music was lost. No more. Wright hits a missile dropkick for the victory at 3:44. *3/4. ___________________ Hour #2...Lex Luger interview time. These interviews are sucking up the extra hour. I don't care for them, but this is a good promo. Now, Vincent is going to face Booker T w/Stevie Ray. - You know, Harlem Heat kicked Vincent's ass a month or so ago. That explains all this. Soon as could be, a Harlem Sidekick gives Booker the win. Only went 48 seconds. Afterwards, Harlem Heat kick his ass again. DUD. ___________________ Gene's now with DDP, who really says some bad stuff about Ric Flair because he associates with the likes of Curt Hennig. Anyone who hangs out with Curt Hennig is just as bad as Curt Hennig, in Page's eyes. ___________________ The Barbarian is going to face Wrath... - This will suuuck. Well, actually, it don't. Wrath's DEATH PENALTY gets the victory at 2:58. Meng comes out, making Wrath leave. Throwaway. *. ___________________ Mean Gene is with the Steiners...who are accompanied by Ted DiBiase! Whoa. Ted says that he needed to look at the big picture. The New World Order isn't wrestling. He said they'd win the World Wrestling...oops. He was about to say something he shouldn't have. Anyway, the Outsiders come down the aisle and say that DiBiase didn't understand the whole NWO 4 LIFE thing. He'll soon see the error of his ways. ___________________ Psychosis is going to face Konnan right now. - This is part of Konnan's mission to take down the luchadors. Psychosis was very sloppy, but this was short. Konnan made him tap to the TEQUILA SUNRISE at 1:48. 1/2*. This shit sucks...the matches are too goddamn short. Rey Mysterio crutches his way to the ring...but when Konnan turned his back because he thought Rey was actually hurt, Rey hit him in the back with a crutch. Ha. Playing possum. ___________________ Ernest Miller and Glacier vs. Silver King and Damien - Finally, a decent length match. Or at least I thought it would be. A Miller spin kick off the top onto Damien gets the win at 3:25. Damn. *1/2. ___________________ Bischoff appears, with a microphone. He says that Larry Z and The Giant were totally out of line. Not only that, but he wants JJ Dillion to come out. He says that Dillon should keep the Giant from touching him. ___________________ Hour #3 begins, with Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ric Flair. - Curt Hennig gives Flair some dap before the match, then we begin. Surprised to see this of all things given away. Hennig goes out after a DDP powerbomb to Flair, just to marinate. Then we have a commercial. - The FIGURE-FOUR was on, but Page made it to the ropes. There was a stupid segment where DDP pinned Hennig while having the figure-four on Flair. Hennig has brass knux, but Page takes them. Then he hits both Hennig and Flair, leading to the DQ at 7:32. Page fends them all off on the attack, which is great. **1/4. FINALLY, a match with length. ___________________ Now, we've got Hector Garza and Lizmark Jr. vs. Villano IV & V. - Boy, am I glad that I was so eagerly awaiting this. Dive sequenece of course...then the Villano's switch before getting pinned, and Villano IV cradles Lizmark at 4:52. **. ___________________ Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon...AGAIN. Goodness. They're talking about Sting, who soon enters the ring. Dillon wants him to sign a contract to face Curt Hennig. HA! Needless to say, Sting doesn't like that. He rips up the contract, and leaves. ___________________ About fuckin' time. It's Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan for the WCW Championship. - Hogan hasn't wrestled on Nitro since I GOT THIS CHANNEL. Seriously. Crowd is not the most rowdy, which is unfortunate. - After the break, we learn that Hogan hit Luger with a chair during the break. Hogan DROPS THE LEG, but Luger kicks out. After some Luger clotheslines, Hall runs in. He gets clotheslined. Nash and Savage run in. Luger gives Savage a gutshot, and tosses him into Nash, knocking both Nash and Savage to the floor. RACK on Hogan, and we've got...A NEW WCW CHAMPION, at 8:58 (shown). **. All of WCW comes out and celebrates with Luger in the ring. Not a REALLY huge pop, but the pop was still sizeable. WCW did well here. - Luger held the title upside down the whole time. Now, after some words from the commentary team, we go to the back. They're doing the whole champagne thing, and cleaning the NWO letters off of the title. I like that. The NWO is really pissed off, and Hogan wants his rematch in Sturgis. ___________________ Of course, Hogan will win the title back in "6 days," but the title win doesn't make a grating 140 minutes good all of a sudden. The show was bad. Best segment was the title win...worst was, well, take your pick. Lots of shit to choose from. I'll go with ALL THE INTERVIEWS. RAW was better. ___________________ Great American Bash 1992 review should be up soon. I have a long time to finish it.
  6. As usual, Nitro is first. This particular edition takes place on July 28th, as WWE decided to skip a week. Takes place in Charleston, West Virginia. ___________________ To start, we've got Vicious and Delicious w/Vincent vs. Ric Flair and Curt Hennig. Sounds good. - Hennig's a free agent, you see. If that makes sense. Anyhow, this matchup sounds pretty good. After about four or five minutes we go to a commercial. - And we're back, with Buff working over Flair. Syxx pulls Flair to the floor, exposing Flair's BUTT. You know, Flair loves that. HENNIG-PLEX on Buff, gets the win at 9:09 (heh)(shown). *1/2. ___________________ Mean Gene is now with the Total Package, who comes to the ring and tears off his shirt. Wow, what a man. He's ready for Road Wild, but we've got something else first. There's a clause in Hogan's contract that says he has to defend the WCW Title every thirty days (hah, Hogan hasn't defended that thing on television in MONTHS. And he don't work house shows.). The 30th day, well, that's next Monday. In Detroit. Nitro is on Monday. Luger's going to face Hogan for the strap. Luger then cuts a fantastic promo on Hogan, before leaving. I'm not kidding, the promo was fantastic. ___________________ The second matchup is Prince Iaukea vs. The Ultimate Dragon for the TV Title. - I'm so damn sick of Iaukea. Dragon got that title by beating Steven Regal on the Nitro last week, which was skipped. There's a few empty seats visible on camera that are bothering me. I don't know why, they just are. Sloppy, sloppy match. DRAGON SLEEPER gives (guess who) the submission victory at 4:47. *1/4. ___________________ Mean Gene is with Ric Flair, who says that Hennig is one of the four. That brings him out, to express that he's a free agent. Mongo and Benoit come out, Mongo talks for a bit, and then a tag match where Mongo and Benoit face two jobbers gets cut out. ___________________ Alex Wright is facing Chris Jericho for the Cruiserweight Title... - Jericho slaps Wright, and we begin. A "faggot" chant rings out, obviously directed at Wright. Well I'll be damned, this taking place in West Virginia and all. Wright gives Jericho a back elbow, then a german suplex, to WIN the Cruiserweight belt at 6:26. OMG NEW CHAMP. Not really surprised about it, the guy was getting a big push. A big for WCW push, if you will. ___________________ Gene is now with Dean Malenko, and suddenly, Jeff Jarrett decides to join him. Jarrett wants Malenko to join up with he and Debra. Malenko reluctantly agrees. Something seems a bit off with that whole thing. Maybe because Dean doesn't talk. ___________________ Hour #2, and we begin with Syxx taking on Diamond Dallas Page. - Sounds pretty good to me. After a broncobuster, we get a lot of the usual NWO shenanigans. But for one thing. After Vincent runs out, he gets punched in the mouth, so nothing happens there. Syxx tries the BUZZKILLER, but Page rams him into the corner, and gives him a DIAMOND CUTTER. Then Curt Hennig runs through the crowd, hits Page with an international object, which allows Syxx to pick up the pinfall at 3:33. **. No wonder they showed a clip of Hennig hitting Nick Bockwinkel with brass knuckles and winning the AWA Title prior to this show. Makes sense now. ___________________ Hector Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko is up next. - Glad to see this, but the crowd is really, you know, not. Jarrett and Debra make their way to the ring, which doesn't have anything to do with the actual match. After Dean makes Hector submit to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF at 4:33 (*1/2), Chavo Guerrero comes out, to check on his uncle. Malenko stomps on Chavo, before leaving. Hmm.... ___________________ Konnan is with Mean Gene, and Konnan's got a lot to say. He talks about Rey being a bitch (not in those words), saying things like Rey ain't for the raza and shit like that. He's going to take down all the luchadors, starting tonight, with La Parka. ___________________ On the Road in Detroit, and then, we've got THE GIANT facing The Great Muta. - Talk about strange matchups. Anyway, Savage is in the crowd, talking about his match with Giant at Road Wild. That card is really, really stacked. Giant and Savage do a little promo battle thing, before the bell rings, to begin the match. Now wait, we've got more stuff. Eric Bischoff comes out, and kicks Tenay and Heenan out of the commentary area. But Tony can stay. - Muta gets caught in a chokehold, and tries to mist Giant. But it gets blocked. CHOKESLAM, pinfall at 5:59. 1/2* for a super slow match. Giant grabbed a microphone, but Larry Zbyszko (I'm going to call him Larry Z from now on) comes out, infuriated that Bischoff has sent his broadcast partners away. So he's going to take Bischoff to the ring, the hard way. Big time Larry chant, as he puts Bisch in the ring for Giant to CHOKESLAM. YES! Crowd loved it. ___________________ Konnan vs. LA PARKA... - La Parka's mask may fall off! Well, it nearly did. La Parka grabbed a chair which had Konnan's name on it (hah), but Konnan kicked the chair into his face. TEQUILA SUNRISE, submission win for the newest NWO member at 1:45. Here comes Psychosis, to keep Konnan from beating up La Parka. He didn't do anything, just stood there. *. ___________________ We're on the phone with JJ Dillon, who confirms that Hogan will face Luger next week. Good. They also want Sting back in the ring by September. Drawing it out... ___________________ The main event is Randy Savage w/Elizabeth vs. Scott Steiner w/Rick Steiner. - This would've been some match back in, say, 1992. Or even in 1993, when both were in the WWF. The match is quite strange. We've got Savage acting like a lunatic, trying to brawl into the crowd and stuff like that. Sorta jumbled. After the commercial - Things go back to normal. Steiner gives Savage many suplexes, and then, Liz decides to distract the referee, as the Outsiders come to the ring and attack Rick Steiner. Now Scott attacks the Outsiders, and everyone brawls, at 8:46 (shown). **. Two flying elbows are given to Scott, which brings the GIANT out. The NWO bails out of the ring, and Giant grabs a microphone. He wants Nash RIGHT NOW. Nash said that he doesn't feel like fighting through security, but they part the Red Sea, allowing Nash to go back to the ring. He wraps his belt around his fist and is about to jump into the ring, but WE'RE OUT OF TIME! Them cutting away during the middle of a hot angle is beginning to bother me. ___________________ The show was good. Liked the angles. Nice to see a title change, and it was nice to see some big(ish) matchups. Best segment was Luger's promo on Hogan, and the worst was Iaukea vs. Dragon. These shows are really making me want to watch Road Wild, so they're definitely doing what they're supposed to. ___________________ RAW is from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Good location for a hard sell show. We flashback to last week, and for once, I'll run down the goings-on. There was a six-man flag match, featuring STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD, Dude Love, and the Undertaker, who were facing Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, and Owen Hart. The Hart Foundation won. Not only that, but Shawn Michaels was announced as being the special referee for the main event at SummerSlam. ___________________ We begin the show, with the Hart Foundation making their way to the ring. Bret's not going to be suspended for attacking Vince McMahon last week, because they want their big main event to go off without a hitch. Makin' the fans happy, if you weel. Apparently we're going to have a new commissioner next week...as is said during Bret's typical anti-America promo. He's really mad at Shawn Michaels, because he insulted Bret's country. You don't badmouth Canada. He challenges the Patriot to a match later, and that's it! ___________________ After running down tonights card, we move to Savio Vega and Miguel Perez w/the rest of Los Boricuas vs. the Legion of Doom. - Not really a whole lot to say. How about, both of these teams are not my favorite when it comes to rating tag teams of 1997. LOD tries the DOOMSDAY DEVICE on Miguel, but the Boricuas run in, getting their guys DQ'd at 3:01. The Godwinns run down, and help the Boricuas beat up LOD. No surprise. *. ___________________ HHH and Chyna speak about Mankind, and the steel cage match between Mankind and HHH at SummerSlam. Vader's in need of Jenny Craig, too. Guess what? Our next match is Vader vs. HHH! - Mankind appears from under the ring, in a cameraman's outfit. He hits HHH with a television camera, so we've got no match. Chyna tackles Mankind, and beats him up for a bit, before Mankind can fight them both off. They fight into the crowd, and yeah. ___________________ The Truth Commission's leader comments on a few things...then we see that Michael Moorer's at ringside. He beat up on Evander Holyfield. I don't really like him. After a Brakus promo (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)..... ___________________ We go to our next match, Jesse Jammes, Bob Holly, and Flash Funk vs. The Truth Commission w/Commandant. - Commandant (their leader) is an actor, so he won't get involved in the matches. Had to get that out there. Kurrgan is a funny guy. Oh wait, I mean the INTERROGATOR. Gorilla Monsoon was down for a bit to talk about the commissioner spot, as Kurrgan finished Holly with a sideslam for the victory at 3:22. 1/2*. - I feel like ignoring the SummerSlam million dollar contest stuff, so I will. ___________________ After a video about the Patriot, he cuts a promo in which he accepts Bret Hart's challenge. Now, we've got Faarooq w/the Nation (including Ahmed Johnson) taking on Crush w/Disciples of Apocalypse. - Punch, kick, choke affair. Basically everything I hate. Gang fight tears this shit apart at 3:14. 1/4*. Los Boricuas come down,. and powerbomb Crush on the ramp. Ouch. ___________________ Now to the Warzone, and we've got a big tag team match. The Godwinns are facing Steve Austin and Dude Love for the WWF Tag Team Titles. - Owen and Bulldog are sitting at ringside for commentary, btw. They trash their opponents, and Bulldog challenges Ken Shamrock to an armwrestling match for later on. - Austin makes the hot tag, house of fire. Stun one, not the other, get tossed out of the ring. Owen hits Austin with the Intercontinental Title, which gets Austin counted out at 4:40. *1/2. Now everyone decides to beat up the champions. LOD comes down to the ring, to chase the Godwinns away, and Hawk gives Dude Love a high five, as Austin's telling the viewers at home that Owen's going to get his ass whipped at SummerSlam. ___________________ Ace Darling vs. Devon Storm is our Light Heavyweight contest... - Storm wins with a forward roll off a Darling hurricanrana at 45 seconds. 1/2*. ___________________ Here we go, the armwrestling contest with Bulldog and Shamrock. Very typical, face comeback and then Bulldog headbutts him. Bulldog then hits Shamrock with a chair a whole bunch, before opening a can of dog food and smearing it all over Shamrock's face. Ugh. ___________________ Goldust w/Marlena is going to face Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man. - Goldust has a mic, and says that Brian Pillman will definitely be wearing a dress come next Monday. I agree! - I can't wait for Rockabilly to become a New Age Outlaw. At least he'll be entertaining. Billy slaps Michael Moorer, so Moorer knocks him out. HA! Pillman attacks Goldust for the DQ at 1:15, DUD. Marlena jumps on Pillman's back, which eventually gets him to leave. Good. Pillman tells the crowd to fuck off, and we're done there. ___________________ We see a video hyping our SummerSlam main event, which features comments from multiple people. After that, Vince brings Shawn Michaels to the ring. Bret wants him to apologize for insulting his country, but Michaels absolutely will not. What he will do, is commentate this next match. ___________________ Our main event is Bret Hart vs. The Patriot. - Bret's really mad about Shawn not apologizing. So, as a result, we'll get to hear Oh Canada! Once that's over, Kurt Angle The Patriot comes to the ring, and wants the Star Spangled Banner played. Good on him! But, Bret attacks him in the middle of it. I saw that one coming. Now the crowd's on fire. - The show ran long, but there's a commercial. Like, really long. The Patriot wears the mask to embody the spirit of our country or something like that. Yeah, something. Shawn keeps Bret from making the cover, so as Bret's yelling at Shawn, Patriot rolls Bret up for three at 6:38 (shown). Talk about a surprise, **. Is Shawn really an unbiased official? The commentators sold that action of Shawn's like, "uh, what." Bret and Shawn argue, until the Undertaker comes out. So the show is over. ___________________ Show was good, but still not better than Nitro. Bischoff being chokeslammed by the Giant is what put Nitro over the top. Best segment here was Patriot getting the surprise win over Shawn, and the worst was the Truth Commission garbage. ___________________ I'm going to review Slamboree 2000 next. Usually I don't review the PYBO's before the regularly posted show, but I can't resist. WCW 2000 BABY!
  7. Nitro is from Orlando, Florida. Don't forget, Bash at the Beach was the night before this show. At that show, a man dressed as Sting attacked Lex Luger and The Giant. That man was clearly Kevin Nash. I'll also point out that this show is the debut of the Nitro Girls. Also know that I will never reference their segments again, unless someone's tit pops out, or an angle occurs during said segment. ___________________ Anyway, our first match is Alex Wright vs. Prince Iaukea. - Pre-recorded comments from Wright, basically about how WCW has used his racial background against him. - After about a minute and a half, THE GIANT makes his way into the ring. He gives the referee a CHOKESLAM, Iaukea a CHOKESLAM, then five or so security guys a CHOKESLAM, but not Wright. Wright left. The Giant wants Kevin Nash, right now. He knows it was Nash who hit him with a baseball bat. That's all. ___________________ Next up, Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.. - Family feud! Yeah, I really love this...everyone who's able to needs to watch this. Chavo went for the frog splash, but he ate Eddie's knees on the way down. Powerbomb and a frog splash gives Eddie the victory at 4:15. **1/2. After the match, Eddie gives Chavo ANOTHER FROG SPLASH, which brings HECTOR Guerrero down to the ring. Eddie pushes him to the canvas and leaves...furthering this dickish heel run. Love it. ___________________ Mean Gene is with DDP, who talks about how alike he and Curt Hennig are, and that's why he wanted Hennig to be his tag team partner at Bash at the Beach. They lost to Scott Hall and Randy Savage, btw. After the commercial, Mean Gene calls Harlem Heat out, for an interview. They're going to face the Outsiders later on in a non-title match, and they want to make it a street fight. ___________________ We've got Vicious and Delicious facing The Steiner Brothers... - Yes, this matchup sounds good. At least to me. WCW is in this "we put good matches on TV phase," which I'm in favor of. None of these are money drawing matches, so hey. We cut to the back, as...Konnan has arrived in a limo. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. There's some evil guys with him too, just guess who. - Masa Chono and the Great Muta come out after a bunch of Scott Steiner suplexes, getting their fellow NWO members disqualified at 6:46. Aw, darn. Scott and Rick fight them off, because they're fighting for the WCW, guys. **1/4. ___________________ Mean Gene's talking about Raven and Stevie Richards, because he talked to them at the PPV last night. Here's Raven again, who says that the only announcement he has, is, well, that there isn't one. Nice. Richards is there too, and Raven abuses him, before the camera cuts away. ___________________ Super Calo vs. La Parka is next. - I believe this is the real La Parka. Regardless, Savage attacks both of these guys, leading to a no contest after 46 seconds. After a bit of beating La Parka up and trying to steal his mask, DDP comes into the ring from out of the crowd. Now into the ring comes Curt Hennig, who decks DDP WITH A TAPED FIST. My brain went dead about them facing each other at Road Wild, so I was genuinely surprised. Yeah, that's a ten year old spoiler. Savage gives Page the FLYING ELBOW, so this battle is one that Savage wins. Mean Gene is now with Curt Hennig, who says that he is NOTHING like DDP. He says that DDP is the biggest mark in the business. Ouch. Ric Flair comes out, because he wants Hennig to join the Four Horsemen. And party. Hennig's not so sure about the latter, not at all. ___________________ Hour #2 begins, with On the Road... After, the NWO comes to the ring. Nash is in a wheelchair, so we aren't going to get that big tag match with the Outsiders and Harlem Heat later. Boo. He's here to announce that Konnan has joined the New World Order. Well, duh! And Nash's back hurts. That too. Harlem Heat are now taking on Scott Hall and Syxx, in what really isn't a streetfight. - The Heat aren't getting a title shot, so they've got nothing to lose. I suppose that's a good thing for them. The match is kinda boring, which is really too bad. I was expecting it not to be. Nash teases being able to stand throughout the match...until he does, and clotheslines Booker when standing on the ring apron, as the referee's dealing with some stuff outside the ring. Scott Hall picks Booker up, OUTSIDERS EDGE, and the pinfall victory for his team at 9:00. *3/4. ___________________ Masa Chono and The Great Muta w/Vincent are taking on the Public Enemy. - Go NWO. I really don't like Public Enemy. - Someone knocked on the door, so I don't have the time. So you know. Bobby Heenan says that Muta's explosiveness reminds him of Chris Benoit. Insert comment here. The match isn't good, but I should mention that it's not just the PE's fault. After about four or five minutes, Muta MISTS Grunge, and Chono gives Grunge a YAKUZA kick for the pinfall victory. *. ___________________ Ric Flair vs. Jeff Jarrett w/Debra is our US Title match on the night... - Oh darn, Jarrett has a tough title defense. But I'm fine with that! This is one of those matches you could've put on PPV, but why? For a non-finish? Debra begins to cut a promo during the middle of a very good match, until Mongo comes down to the ring. Flair has Jarrett in the FIGURE-FOUR and about to win the title, but Mongo stomps on Jarrett, getting Flair DQ'd at 5:25. Now, Chris Benoit comes to the ring, and they all work over Jarrett. Poor guy. **3/4. Eventually Jarrett gets out of the ring and leaves. ___________________ Mean Gene is interviewing Lex Luger. Top babyface, Lex Luger. Don't forget that. He says that Dennis Rodman should stick to basketball, not only that, but he wants to face Hogan for the WCW Title at Road Wild. You know, Hogan hasn't defended that title on PPV since SuperBrawl. That was five months ago! Luger making that challenge brought the NWO out, who decide to surround the ring. Oh, there's another fake Sting, too. Clearly. OH WHAT THE FUCK. The guy pulled off his costume, and it was the REAL STING. Legit surprise. With Sting and Luger in the ring, that's how we end the show. ___________________ Should I have said, that's how we end a great show? Because this show really was great, save the bait and switch thing with the Outsiders and Harlem Heat. Best segment for me was the continuation of Eddie's heel tactics, and the worst was all the Nitro Girl stuff. I like looking at them, but it's a waste of time, honestly. ___________________ RAW is from San Antonio, Texas. You know, Shawn Michaels' hometown. To start the show, The Hart Foundation make their way out, to a chorus of boos. They're basically running down the SummerSlam card, so there's not much to see. That goes on for a bit, until Steve Austin comes out to stand on the entrance ramp. And there's Ken Shamrock! And the Patriot! Psycho Sid! Shawn Michaels! Which one of those is Austin's tag team partner for later on? ___________________ The first match up for public consumption is Jerry Lawler and Brian Christopher vs. Scott and Ivan Putski. - Yes, I just said that Scott Putski was teaming up with his father. Ivan Putski is from San Antonio, so it makes sense. The sons carry the match, thankfully. Ivan makes the hot tag, and gives Lawler the POLISH HAMMER for the pinfall victory at 4:56. *1/2, not really that bad for a match with two old guys involved. ___________________ Mankind's in the back, but he's just sitting there. After Paul Bearer cuts a promo on the Undertaker, we have.... Tajiri Yoshihiro vs. Taka Michinoku. - First, Tajiri is not dressed as you'd picture him. Second, he wrestles a style that was almost a complete surprise to me. I liked it. Even still, it isn't good enough to get the victory. After a fun 4 minutes and ten seconds, a Michinoku Driver gets Taka the win. Match was fun, featured lots of aerial stuff and some Tajiri kicks. **1/2. ___________________ Ken Shamrock is in the back, and he says that he isn't Steve Austin's tag team partner. Thank God for that. Los Boricuas arrived in a LOWRIDER, thought I should share. Last, there's a hype video for a SummerSlam highlight show after RAW. Most of the names mentioned in the video package were employed by WCW. I found that sorta odd. ___________________ The Headbangers are facing Miguel and Jose of Los Boricuas in the second tag team match of the show. - Both of these teams suck, and even worse, Miguel of Los Boricuas has disgusting body hair. Ew. - Miguel rolls Thrasher up at 4:24 for the victory, *. After the match, the rest of Los Boricuas beat the Headbangers up, until the Disciples of Apocalypse come to the ring. Whites vs. Browns! ___________________ The Patriot is in the back, and he says that he isn't here to be Austin's tag team partner. He's here to stand up for his country. Once he's done talking, Vince McMahon calls out Shawn Michaels. Shawn just wants to be a part of SummerSlam. Oh, he'd be a part of it. ___________________ We're in the WARZONE, and hey, there's been an accident in the back. That's what Savio Vega says. We now go to the back, and, whoa, there's some motorcycles. One of the Boricuas is smashing the shit out of one, until DOA showed up. DOA kicked their asses, so the Boricuas left in their lowrider. DOA chased them with their motorcycles, and yeah. What a way to start the second hour. ___________________ Jim Neidhart vs. Ken Shamrock is next.... - Finish him with an armbar! I don't know why I said that. - This really, really sucks. I've got no problem giving it a DUD. Shamrock finishes the Anvil with a sleeper at 4:41. Ha, I was pretty close when I said armbar. After the match, the British Bulldog comes to the ring, and with the help of Neidhart, gives Shamrock a spike piledriver. The Patriot then runs down to the ring, and clears house, to save Shamrock. ___________________ The SummerSlam contest clue is "life." Yeah. The next match is the New Blackjacks vs. The Legion of Doom. - Poor Barry Windham, jobbing all the time. Oh, wait! The Godwinns run down the aisle, to attack LOD. Hawk gets slop dropped on the ramp, causing the back of his head to bleed. Then the Godwinns leave. Unfortunately, the match has been canceled. Oh well. ___________________ Flash Funk is taking on Vader, in the match occuring prior to the main event. - Poor Scorpio, reduced to enhancement talent. This is a big squash at the beginning, but it evens out and becomes competitive midway through. Vader finishes Funk off with a powerbomb, at 4:11. *3/4. After the match, Vader gives Funk a VADERBOMB. ___________________ Austin cuts a promo prior to this, in which he says that he doesn't care about any potential partners. He doesn't want one. Of course, now is the time for Owen Hart and The British Bulldog vs. Steve Austin, for the WWF Tag Team Titles. - Austin runs right in, and attacks his opponents. By himself, hence my only listing him as part of this match. Who's that guy with the quick feet on screen before the commercial? - Well, Austin can carry a tag match all by himself.....WHOA. Look on the TitanTron. It's some cool cat with shades and a bandana. DUDE LOVE! Dude came down the ramp, only to be attacked by Owen after the initial freakout period for all involved. Finally Love tags in, and applies the MANDIBLE CLAW to Bulldog. Owen flies off the top with a missile dropkick, breaking the hold. Austin runs in as the referee is distracted, STUNNER, and we've got new champions at 7:39. Oh yeah. ***1/2, a lot of that for the surprise. I love surprises. Love gives Austin his belt, as a present, I guess. Here come some women, cause Love is a P-I-M-P. Austin gives Love back his tag belt, shakes his hand, and leaves. Love dances, to end the show. ___________________ Rating is good, best segment was definitely the main event, and the worst was Shamrock vs. Neidhart. This was not better than Nitro. ___________________ Clash XXXV is next.
  8. I'm probably going to watch Nitro first from here on out, so that's how I'm going to review them too. This one is from Memphis, Tennessee. ___________________ We flashback to last week, and then, Mean Gene invites Curt Hennig to the aisleway for an interview. He's not going to say what he'll be doing at Bash at the Beach, but he will say that he'll be involved with the card in some fashion. Here's Ric Flair, who wants Hennig to join the Four Horsemen. Needless to say, Hennig won't...yet. ___________________ Public Enemy vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri is the opener... - It's not bad, not bad at all. Vincent comes to the ring towards the end, and Sherri tells Booker to chase Vincent away, so he does. Sherri pushes Rocco Rock into Stevie Ray on accident, so Johnny Grunge pins Stevie, getting the win at 4:56. Uh-oh. Mean Gene comes into the ring, slips up and calls Vincent "Virgil," then Harlem Heat tell Sherri to leave...for good. You can't fire me because I quit and all that...yeah. Match was **. ___________________ Hey, a Bash at the Beach ad? I mentioned something about not having that...well, Joe Gomez is going to take on Konnan. - Raven's in the crowd, again. Good. This match though, not so good. Bland, rather. Apparently Konnan "broke" Rey Mysterio's leg last week. Poor kid. Tequila Sunrise gets Konnan the submission victory at 3:11. *. ___________________ Next up, Juventud Guerrera and Hector Garza are taking on Villano IV and Villano V. - Hell of a match, compared to what's usually on Nitro. It's one of those things you need to go out of your way to see. Most of the match is double teams, with no regard for the referee, thank goodness. Anyway, Juvi finishes Villano V with a 450 splash at 6:16. ***1/4. ___________________ The NWO music hits...here comes Scott Hall, Randy Savage, and Elizabeth. You know where they're headed? The commentary table. I love when they go over there. Everyone leaves, except for Larry Zbyszko. He ain't going anywhere. Hall calls DDP a mid-card jabroni, then Savage rambles about some nonsense. Anyway, they go to leave, but Hall and Zbyszko get into an argument. They nearly come to blows, but things cool down a bit. ___________________ We flashback to World War III 1996, where the Giant eliminated Lex Luger in a move that really didn't look like he was trying to eliminate Luger at all. Anyhow, this is a Giant and Lex Luger interview...when I say interview, I mean a hackjob. ___________________ Vicious and Delicious w/Vincent are taking on Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, now. - Vicious and Delicious are Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell. Eddie's ring attire problem is fixed, so now, lastly, his music. That music he has needs to be ditched. Anyway, a limo pulls up and leaves. Wow. - Eddie won't tag Chavo, so he just leaves him. I laughed. Eddie watches as Chavo gets his ass beat, culminating in a BUFF BLOCKBUSTER for the three count at 8:02. **. Fun shall be had later on between the Guerrero's. ___________________ Hour #2, and Zbyszko won't leave until this match is over. The match I'm talking about is Randy Savage w/Scott Hall and Elizabeth vs. LA PARKA. - WTF DREAM MATCH 1997!111!1!111! - Ok, Hall walks over toward the announce table, taunting Zbyszko, but he doesn't really want to do anything, does he? He meaning Hall. Anyway, while Hall's over there, LA PARKA gives Savage a DIAMOND CUTTER. He pulls the mask off...and it's DDP! HA. He covers Savage, getting the three count at 3:12, then he runs into the crowd to celebrate. *1/4, but a hell of a surprise there. ___________________ Psychosis and Silver King w/Sonny Onoo are facing Glacier and Ernest Miller. - Eddie and Chavo are fighting in the back, see what I said? Mortis and Wrath run to the ring, so we've got a no-contest at 2:34. Everyone's fighting everyone! Seriously, no joke. ___________________ On the Road in Orlando...yawn. Mean Gene is with Ric Flair, for a second time tonight. Flair calls out Roddy Piper, and whoa, oh wait, he's got another Piper mannequin. Geez. Piper ain't got the guts, but wait a second, he's standing right behind Flair. Piper chases Flair to the ring and tears off Flair's clothes, before putting Flair in a sleeperhold. That continues for a bit, until Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael come to the ring. Benoit gains control, and gives Piper a FLYING HEADBUTT, which ends the segment. But for one thing, a mysterious person ran in and cleaned house as they were going to commercial. It looked like Curt Hennig, but I don't really know. ___________________ Continuing our lack of matches, Mike Tenay has walked over to Raven, once again. Stevie Richards, King of Swing comes into the picture(!), and says that he's the only one who can get some answers out of Raven. He asks if Raven has signed a WCW contract, which causes Raven to slap Stevie, and leave. ___________________ Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan now make their way up, in what's clearly a Bash at the Beach hype segment. People throw a bunch of stuff at Hogan, and then, after a bit., Lex Luger and The Giant come to the ring. Bischoff tried to hit Luger, so he gets RACKED. Vincent and Buff Bagwell run down, and both of them get chokeslammed. Anyway, Hogan runs away, scared. That ends the show. ___________________ Great episode of Nitro this time. You got good tag wrestling, and well, that's good enough for me. Plus, we're getting to the point where there's a large portion of these shows that feature wrestlers the 'net as a whole is more interested in. That's good too. Best segment was definitely Juvi and Garza vs. Villano's IV and V, and the worst was probably Joe Gomez vs. Konnan. Looking forward to the next Nitro, as I have been all along. ___________________ RAW this week is from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. ___________________ Bret Hart comes to the ring at the top of the show, wearing an Oilers sweater. Asskisser. He has a shot at the WWF Title at SummerSlam, in New Jersey. He rips apart America, and says that if he doesn't win on August 3rd, he won't wrestle on American soil again. Period. He brings out Owen Hart and the British Bulldog, so they can listen to the Canadian National Anthem. Before that though, Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock at SummerSlam was announced. While listening to the anthem, STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD attacks all three men from behind with a steel chair. What a swell fellow. During the commercial which followed this attack, Bret said that none of his opponents will ever walk over Canada. ___________________ Taka Michinoku is taking on the Great Sasuke, in a rematch from last night's Canadian Stampede PPV. - Brian Christopher comes down to the ring for commentary, and before the match, Sasuke cut a promo. Uh, why? - Sasuke finishes Taka with a thunderfire powerbomb. Hells yeah. Oh, match was ***, and it ended at 5:46. Too short, but hey, that's television. ___________________ Crush w/The Disciples of Apocalypse is taking on Savio Vega w/Los Boricuas. - Before the match, we watch a video of this whole gang situation, poop on all that. Chainz hits Vega, which starts a giant brawl at 2:19. 1/4*. Yeah, giant brawl. ___________________ Paul Bearer has an interview, yes, Kane told him so, Taker's a MURDERER. Now, we've got Faarooq and D'Lo Brown facing Owen Hart and the British Bulldog w/Jim Neidhart and Brian Pillman in the Final of the Tag Team Tournament. - Before the bout, Pillman grabbed a sign that says, "Nation of Masturbation." For real. - Steve Austin still doesn't want a partner for next week, btw. See, the appeal of this match is minimal to most Americans (unless you like the Harts), seeing as it's heel vs. heel. Well, heel vs. heel here, but not heel vs. heel in Canada. Anyway, moving forward, all hell breaks loose on the outside, but Owen stays in the ring, causing his team to win by countout. So they'll face Steve Austin next week. Mankind runs down while wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt, and motions that he and Austin will be keeping those titles. Sure, Mick. *1/4. ___________________ Steve Austin comments on Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and guess what, those two will be facing each other, right now! - Warzone...Quite the matchup here, correct? Anyway, the match is good by RAW standards, but not Stone Cold vs. HHH good. You'd expect that to be the case. Mankind takes a chairshot in place of Austin, which allows Austin to give HHH a STONE COLD STUNNER and pick up the pinfall victory at 6:17 (shown). **1/4. Austin grabs a microphone, and he wants Mankind to come into the ring, Of course he does, and Austin says that he just wants Mankind to shake his hand, and they can be a team. Well, Mankind hugs him. I'll be damned. Ha, Austin gives him a STUNNER. Austin says that they aren't a team, and that Mick shouldn't trust anybody. Austin leaves, but Mankind grabs the microphone. You see, he just wanted a friend, that's all. Now, drastic measures must be taken. Who knows what they shall be. ___________________ Sunny's our guest ring announcer (yo), for this match between Brian Christopher and Eric Shelley. - I don't quite understand what they're trying to do with the Light Heavyweight Division at this point. I don't think they ever understood, to be fair. Top rope legdrop gives Christopher the pinfall after a kinda boring 3:52. *1/2. Lawler and Christopher give Shelley a spike piledriver, which is probably going to become routine. ___________________ Steve Austin comes to the ring for an interview...he still doesn't know who his tag team partner is going to be. Also, at SummerSlam, when he faces Owen Hart for the Intercontinental Title, he'll kiss Owen's ass if he can't kick it. We're already getting ridiculous with the Russo stuff here. I know there's going to be another (or two), (what I like to call) ultimatum match/es added, and generally, most suck. Unless the angle involves a dress or a haircut, in all likelihood, the one being pushed up against a wall is going to win. Russo's fingerprints are pretty much all over this, and I don't like it. I know all those matches feature members of the Hart Foundation, but I don't care. It sucks. Tirade over. ___________________ The main event is Goldust vs. Bret Hart. - I'm sure that something was cut from the original airing of this show, because there has been very little time between the beginning of the Warzone and now, or even the end of this match. Unless of course, they just cut some super long commercials out. Yeah. - DOA comes down, uh, why? That doesn't make any damn sense. Here comes the Hart Foundation, then Ken Shamrock and the Legion of Doom. Now Austin's on the ramp, as Bret rolls Goldust up for three at 7:29. **. Big celebration and all, then the show ends. So, what was the point of all that? ___________________ The show was definitely good, but not better than Nitro. There's just some, I don't know, WEIRD stuff going on during this show. Best segment was probably Austin pulling the whole DON'T TRUST ANYBODY thing on Mankind, and the worst was easily the GANG WARZ during the Savio Vega/Crush match. I feigned excitement at the start of GANG WARZ, but really, this sucks. ___________________ Beware of Dog review is next, probably won't finish it up by Friday, but I'll try. Next month on 24/7 is going to be awful (and have a Clash as the only big event at the beginning of the month), so I'll have a bit of time to rest my ailing fingers soon.
  9. LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS ___________________ It's MONDAY NITRO OMG WTF! To start the show, here comes Ric Flair to the ring, with two women and a...mannequin dressed up in Scottish garb. Oh no. One of these women wants to know why they call Piper "Hot Rod." Ouch. Flair says that he's the wrestler of the two, some woman calls Flair a 30 second man, and yeah, that's about it. Nearly forgot that there was a moment of silence for Piper, but yeah, now that's it. Thought for sure that Piper would run in, but he didn't. Lame segment. ___________________ Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho for the Cruiserweight Title begins the action... - See, Chris Jericho beat Syxx for the Cruiserweight Title over the weekend in Los Angeles. House show title changes every once in a while are pretty important for keeping house business alive, I feel. So that was good. This match sure as fuck isn't, though. Juvi messes up so much stuff that it's ridiculous, so I was glad to see him get double powerbombed. Super frankensteiner and LIONTAMER gets the submission at 6:49. *1/2. Now, Chris Jericho is with Mean Gene. WCW is on the map, you see. Syxx makes his way down the entrance ramp and to the ring, where he says that Jericho didn't beat anything on Saturday until he went back to his hotel room. Ouch. Then Syxx slaps Jericho, and they do a pull-apart, before going to commercial. ___________________ Back from the commercial, both men are being pulled apart by security, and Alex Wright has made his way down to ringside for an interview. He's being held down because he's from Germany. Yeah, you heard. Lex Luger's body has nothing on his. Ok... ___________________ The next match is Dean Malenko vs.....well, Eddie Guerrero attacks Dean in the aisleway, so yeah, it's him. - Fuck yes for having this on Nitro. Ring attire is the next thing Eddie has to change, cause this is, um, terrible. Good match, of course, albeit super short. Chavo runs down to the ring and jumps on the ring apron, so Eddie rams Dean into him. Brainbuster, FROG SPLASH gets the pinfall for Eddie at 3:58. **. ___________________ Gene Okerlund's with Rey Mysterio, who's sick and tired of Kevin Nash's antics. See, Nash gets a kick out of, well, kicking Rey's ass. Mysterio challenges Nash for a match tonight, Nash comes out and makes fun of him, before accepting. Not going to end well. ___________________ After the break, here comes Eric Bischoff....and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. No problem with a Hogan appearance. His nicknames are pretty funny, like "ROD THE BOD" and "FLEXY LEXY." They make me laugh, anyway. Almost a useless segment, actually, no almost about it, it just was. ___________________ Hector Garza is going to take on Steven Regal for the Television Title... - Later on, there's a big six man tag, but I'm not going to spoil it. Anyway, this show hasn't been the best for Mexican wrestlers. No exception here, as Garza blows some stuff. Anyway, REGAL STRETCH gets the submission at 3:36. ___________________ NWO video is definitely skippable...I don't know if PPV ads are cut out, but if they never existed, then well, that's fuckin' stupid. The Steiner Brothers are with Mean Gene, running their mouth about the title shot they deserve. Here comes Scott Hall and Kevin Nash in response...and they're bringing the whole crew. Hall has a contract for the Steiners to sign, and they sign it, then leave. BUT, the contract says that the Steiners have to get through Masahiro Chono and The GREAT MUTA before facing the Outsiders for the tag straps. The Steiners were made to look mentally handicapped, so...that was good. ___________________ Super Calo vs. Psychosis w/Sonny Onoo is next...if you forgot why Onoo is managing Psychosis, basically, they made a deal in a throwaway segment. - Onoo grabs Super Calo's leg during a suplex, which causes Psychosis to fell on top of him and get the pinfall victory at 2:40. Literally a nothing match. *. LA PARKA runs down to the ring, and breaks a wooden chair over Calo's back. WHAT THE FUCK. Juventud Guerrera runs in, and causes Psychosis to dropkick La Parka on accident, before leaving. WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously though, what the hell is this? ___________________ Hour #2 begins with Mortis and Wrath w/James Vandenberg taking on High Voltage. - Glacier and Ernest Miller run down to the ring really quick, and as Mortis has Rage in fireman's carry position and the referee is distracted, Miller kicks Mortis from the top rope and Rage pins Mortis for 3 at 1:15. 1/2*, I guess whenever they need a run-in for a loss, High Voltage gets the call. This isn't the first time, as you'd know from reading my blog. ___________________ There's a limo in the back, IS THIS THE IMPACT PLAYER! Well, On the Road in Memphis is definitely fast-forward material, but....OMG WTF 1997 IT'S RAVEN SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW. ___________________ Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett is for the US Championship... - Yes, Raven was really in the front row, I shit you not. Anyway, Jarrett's music sucks, and of course, so does his ring attire. Re-tool, please. Konnan is tolerable, and I'm sure that's a minority opinion. I don't think he's good by any stretch, but he's rather funny. - Every match (save one) has been off, tonight. No exception here. Flair and the rest of the Horsemen come down to the ring, and Flair helps Jarrett win by figure-four submission at 4:11. *. Jarrett's Horsemen probation is over, and you know why, well, it's because Jarrett is no longer a Horseman. HAHA. ___________________ Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash is the next contest... - Boy oh boy. Rey runs down the aisle and attacks Nash, who then beats his ass. Wow. THE JACKKNIFE gives Nash the pinfally victory at 1:47. I don't understand the point of having Rey get whipped after challenging Nash. Whatever. Anyway, Konnan comes to the ring to save Rey...but instead, he heel hooks him and leaves. More dumb stuff, * for the match. ___________________ Rey gets wheeled out of the ring area, and Mike Tenay asks Raven a few questions. Tenay's questions get no answer, but Raven does push Tenay, indicating that he has nothing to say. ___________________ Now, as advertised, Hulk Hogan Oh wait, he's not in this match. Who the hell am I fooling? It's really Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Randy Savage w/Elizabeth vs. Lex Luger, The Giant, and Diamond Dallas Page w/Kimberly. - It isn't exactly a match, though. They brawl for about, uh, 3:10 before Hogan comes to the ring, and helps the NWO work over the WCW guys. Savage gives Page the FLYING ELBOW from up top, and wait a minute... IT'S STING! Umm...I assure you, that is not the real Sting. THERE'S THE REAL STING! Yeah, that guy clears the ring. CURT HENNIG runs down the aisle, RAVEN jumps the guardrail...but we are out of time. ___________________ That segment ran about 7 minutes, btw. Well, that made an otherwise dull show a very good one. I'm big on surprises, and this had some good ones. Best segment was obviously the finish, and the worst was Nash squashing Rey. I hated that. ___________________ RAW is from Des Moines, Iowa. ___________________ The first thing on tap is Triple H vs. Ken Shamrock. - There, now Ken finally has his set entrance music. Took long enough. HHH cuts a promo before the match...don't forget, Canadian Stampede is next week. Also, Jerry Lawler is back on commentary for the duration of the show. - Mankind runs down the ramp, distracting HHH, and Shamrock gives HHH a belly-to-belly suplex for 3 at 4:41. **, not a bad opener. ___________________ We look back to Ahmed Johnson joining the Nation and his subsequent injury...he blames the Undertaker for DOA injuring him, who knows why. Next, Michael Cole interviews the Legion of Doom, and Sunny advertises this million dollar contest for SummerSlam. Ok. ___________________ D'Lo Brown and Faarooq vs. the Legion of Doom is the first of two semifinal contests in the Tag Team Tournament. - The Godwinns are at the top of the entrance ramp...surely they'll interfere. - I hate business exposing maneuvers. Case in point, Hawk gets tossed to the buckle, D'Lo puts his head down, and Hawk doesn't run at him, for a second or two at least. Dumb dumb dumb. - Anyway, LOD hits the Doomsday Device on D'LO, the referee gets distracted, and Henry Godwinn runs down to the ring. He hits Hawk in the head with the slop bucket, and Faarooq pins Hawk for 3 at 3:02. 1/2*. Faarooq wants the title shot for Canadian Stampede, but it was handed to Vader. Why? Because Vader's white, you see. Savio Vega comes down the aisle, and he has a microphone. Faarooq starts talkin' about jalapenos, so Vega calls out his new gang. OH FUCK. They attack the Nation, then DOA come down and everyone fights. Funny stuff. ___________________ Michael Cole is with this new gang, who calls themselves Los Boricuas. They're here to kick some ASSSSS. ___________________ Video ad for RAW magazine...then, Scott Putski takes on Brian Christopher. - No, not Putski. Please. Anyway, Light Heavyweights. JR mentions that Great Sasuke will be at Canadian Stampede...oh yes. Lawler distracts Putski, which allows Christopher to pick up the victory at 3:38. **. Putski tries to attack Christopher after the match, but Lawler and Christopher give him a spike piledriver. Heh. ___________________ Taker cuts a promo on Paul Bearer...mostly, when Bearer talks, wait to hear Taker's side of the story before judging him. The Great Sasuke is facing Taka Michinoku at Canadian Stampede.... ___________________ Next match is Brian Pillman vs. Mankind w/a Pick Me Steve sign. - Pillman attacked a "fan" during Shotgun Saturday Night, so obviously, he commented about it in a pre-match interview. I love Mankind's sign he wears around his neck. Mankind gives JR a present...and it's a replica of his hand, yes, the hand he gave JR a mandible claw with. - Stone Cold has a few comments of his own, and he says that Mankind sucks. Funny. After the commercial, HHH hits Brian Pillman with a chair on accident, and Mankind chases HHH to the back at 6:02 (shown), getting counted out. Weird. ___________________ Paul Bearer now makes his way to the ring...and some fan attacks him. No, really, someone did. Weird. He tells the story...and there's too much information to relay, here. Bearer does a great job at this. Well, basically, Undertaker burned the funeral home. Wow. Sable has a clue for the SummerSlam Million Dollar Sweepstakes, it is...THE KEY! OMG. ___________________ The Headbangers are taking on the British Bulldog and Owen Hart in the other Tag Team Tournament Semifinal. - Winner faces the Nation in the final, and the winner of that faces Steve Austin and a partner of his choice. - Bret Hart is on the phone...and the match is over at 4:08 after Owen gives Mosh a jackknife pin. Hey, there's JIM CORNETTE! He talks for a bit, and blows a whistle, which sends a team down to the ring...that being THE HEADHUNTERS. Ok, wow. They kick the shit out of the Headbangers, obv. A cool gimmick (in my mind) would've been Cornette introducing a new team every week, only for them to get their asses kicked and disappear forever. Maybe I'm crazy. ___________________ Taker tells his story...Paul Bearer is not telling the full truth. Paul will be struck down. ___________________ Rockabilly vs. Vader is right now. - WHO'S DA MAN! Honky Tonk Man hits Vader with a guitar, but it does nothing. Nothing at all. After 20 seconds, Undertaker runs down, and fights with Vader, until Paul Bearer grabs a microphone. Taker runs over to Bearer, grabs him, and says that he'll kill him. Bearer says that Kane told him the story, and that Kane's alive. Vader attacks Taker, which ends the segment. ___________________ Jim Neidhart vs. Steve Austin is the main event... - Brutal. Absolutely brutal. Bret attacks Shamrock in the back, so he really wasn't in Calgary at all. Bret runs in for the DQ at 8:14, DUD. Bret applies the RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR on Austin, until Mankind gives Bret the MANDIBLE CLAW. Pillman and Owen wreck Mick with chairs, and that ends the show. Boo. ___________________ Show was decent, I suppose. Not enough build for Canadian Stampede. Best segment was probably HHH vs. Shamrock, and the worst was definitely Austin vs. Neidhart. Brutal match. ___________________ WrestleWar '90 review will be up soon.
  10. From Detroit, Michigan, it's MONDAY NIGHT RAWWWWW ___________________ This show is in memory of Stan Stasiak, and I'm glad to see that wasn't cut out. The Nation of Domination make their way down to the ring, because they have an interview with Vince McMahon. Ahmed Johnson does a majority of the talking, and he sucks at it. Just shut up already. The other Nation members say some stuff, and talk about Ahmed finally getting a shot at the Undertaker. O RLY? Crush and some white boys show up, all of them riding motorcycles. You see, Crush wants to ride 'til he dies. These guys are the Disciples of Apocalypse. They must hate blacks, because now they fight with the Nation, until officials and police come down to the ring and break it up. ___________________ Preview of the show....and after a crazy LOD promo, we have Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man taking on Ken Shamrock. - Shamrock finally has the same music for a second week in a row. Dan Severn is on commentary, FWIW. - Vince goes to bat for the UFC, and starts talking about how officials are trying to have it shut down...needless to say, Vince would not be defending the UFC today, or even talking about it. Shamrock ANKLE LOCK gets the tapout at 2:38. 1/2*. Honky wanted to hit Shamrock with his guitar, but Shamrock turned around before that could happen. Honky just left, and now, Severn and Shamrock are staring each other down. They shake hands, and Shamrock raises Severn's hand. Lame. ___________________ The Godwinns have something to say, and they say it before their first round tag tournament match with the Legion of Doom. - The Godwinns toss foilage at LOD before the match...it wasn't even slop, for cryin' out loud. They're out of the farmer phase as well, as evidenced by the lack of yellow shirts. - Apparently Ken Shamrock has been attacked by the Hart Foundation...we're supposed to hear more about that, but we never do. Hawk gives Henry a flying clothesline off the top, giving LOD the pinfall victory to advance into the semi-finals, at 3:42. It was an awkward looking finish as Henry landed on Animal's back, so I'll give it *. The Hart Foundation (sans Bret, who's at the stage) comes down to the ring and attacks LOD with chairs, leaving them down and out in the middle of the ring. ___________________ Thomas Hearns is there...YEAH, boy. Probably my favorite fighter of all-time, although Shane Mosley is my favorite of the present. Paul Bearer and the Undertaker are in the back, and the Undertaker is tired of Paul's shit. He chokes Bearer, and chokes Vader as well once Vader enters the picture. Then Taker leaves. Owen Hart has an interview, in which he talks about a conspiracy against him. You know, it isn't fair that a Canadian has to fight two Americans in a triple threat match on US soil. Last in this little block of junk, we have a promo for the "Cause Stone Cold Said So" video, it's rated M, because Austin is a crazy motherfucker, you see. ___________________ Flash Funk vs. Sabu w/Bill Alfonso is our next contest... - Funk cuts a promo prior to the bout, needless to say, this could be very good. Paul E. is on commentary, and we see some footage of Sabu's ECW matches before this. Now, here's what I've gotta know. Why is Vince showing this footage? It makes the WWF look like amateur punk stuff. I sure know I wouldn't have let that run on my TV time. - Hell of an exhibition here, which ends as both are counted out at 4:38. Sabu sets Funk up on a table outside the ring and gives him a quebrada, but it doesn't break the table. A big splash doesn't break the table as Heyman talks about non-pre cut tables in the WWF, so now, Sabu has to go back up top. A legdrop off the top finally puts Funk through the table, and Sabu leaves through the crowd, to much applause. **1/2. ___________________ Mankind vs. the British Bulldog is our next match, in a non-title affair... - Mankind makes his way to the ring wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt, and a sign around his neck that reads "PICK ME STEVE." Haha. You know, he wants to be Steve Austin's tag team partner. Mankind grabs a microphone next, and he says that he's dedicating this match to the absent Steve Austin, because Austin is the toughest SOB in the World Wrestling Federation. - Yes, Mankind wrestles with the sign around his neck on. Austin's on the phone, and says he'll be back on Saturday. Not only that, but he gives Mankind some credit for wearing that shirt. After 4:10, Bulldog hits Mankind in the back with a chair. Then in the face, unprotected. Mankind gets up after a bit, and gives Bulldog the MANDIBLE CLAW, as Bulldog was focused on his posing. Ha. *1/2. ___________________ Now, we have the first triple threat match in the history of the WWE, AFAIK. It's Goldust w/Marlena vs. HHH w/Chyna vs. Owen Hart w/Brian Pillman. - Before the match, there was some controversy surrounding Brian Pillman being allowed to come to ringside with Owen. Gorilla Monsoon said yes, and that's all that matters. We're in the Warzone, and the special guest referee for this match is the first Intercontinental Champion, Pat Patterson. - Goldust has another false title victory, this one coming after a CURTAIN CALL at 3:15. Owen's foot was on the ropes, just like the British Bulldog's was on 6/9/97. This part was *1/4, and a bit funny, seeing as this is a new concept for the Fed. After the commercial and much banter, this match restarts. - The 2nd version of the match is better, IMO. Chyna gives Goldust a hurricanrana, in our notable interference of the contest. Goldust inadvertently gives HHH an elbowdrop from the top, and that allows Owen to pin HHH for the three count at 3:45. ** for that portion, add them, round and add personal bias, we get *3/4. ___________________ Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart now make their way to the ring, and see, Bret and Anvil are the best tag team of all time, not LOD. Bret starts calling Thomas Hearns a thief, subsequently pissing him off. Bret tells Tommy to bring his ass into the ring, and Tommy does, knocking down the Anvil after entering. Officials separate Tommy and Bret, so that's over. The crowd loved it, Hearns being from Detroit and this being Detroit. ___________________ Before the next match, Savio Vega comes into the Nation's lockerroom while they're cutting a promo, so Faarooq whips him with a belt, like an angry parent would do to their child. That next match is Scott Taylor vs. Brian Christopher w/Jerry Lawler. - Christopher cuts a promo about the Light Heavyweight Division, so yeah, that's coming soon. Lawler insinuates that Christopher is not his son, and after a short affair, the bout ends with a Christopher legdrop off the top for 3 at 2:54. *3/4. ___________________ Paul Bearer and Vader are in the back, and they say that the situation between them and the Undertaker has been straightened out. We'll see for ourselves, as Vader and the Undertaker w/Paul Bearer are taking on Faarooq and D'Lo Brown w/Kama Mustafa in the final matchup of the first round of the tag team tournament. - Ahmed Johnson was injured during the brawl earlier, so he's not going to participate in this match. Thank fuck he didn't come back until SummerSlam, because I shudder to think what would've happened had he stuck around. Maybe no Rock? The Disciples of the Apocalypse come to ringside early, and they brawl with everyone but Vader, who just stands in the ring doing nothing. To a commercial... - Back from the break, Bearer and Taker are having a war of words as Vader's going at it alone. Vader goes to tag in Taker, but Taker punches him, and Faarooq pins Vader at 5:03 (shown). Wow, he jobbed to a PUNCH. 3/4*. Taker and Vader fight, Taker gives Vader a TOMBSTONE, and chases Bearer out of the ring. Bearer grabs a microphone, and next week, he'll reveal the secret, which is basically what everyone in the crowd and the viewers watching at home have wanted Bearer to do for weeks. End show. ___________________ Show was in some ways bad, but at best, decent. Best segment had to be THOMAS FUCKIN' HEARNS getting in the ring and the worst was probably LOD vs. the Godwinns. I can't stand when those two teams face each other. ___________________ MONDAY NITRO is from MACON, GEORGIA!!!! ___________________ We flashback to last week, and to start the show, Mean Gene is with Diamond Dallas Page and Kimberly. His partner at Bash at the Beach is going to be a complete surprise, Page says, and not only that, but he's facing Scott Hall tonight. ___________________ Public Enemy vs. Damien and La Parka is our first match... - The Public Enemy thing is so lame. I hate it, at the moment. There isn't a whole lot to say besides the result, other than the usual table demolition Public Enemy does. - La Parka hits Johnny Grunge with a chair, and gets the pinfall at 2:55. Yawn. *. ___________________ Eddy Guerrero is in the aisleway for an interview with Mean Gene, and he says that when he didn't wrestle last week, it was because he wasn't cleared to wrestle. He wants Chavo Guerrero to come out, but Chavo says that he didn't exactly offer to wrestle Dean Malenko, Eddy told him to. Eddy has a shot at Syxx's Cruiserweight Title later on, and he says that he'll give that title shot to Chavo to show that he's sorry for ordering him around. Of course, Chavo takes the opportunity. ___________________ Alex Wright vs. Chris Jericho is some return match from that Nitro in Boston that WWE 24/7 skipped... - You see, Alex Wright's new attitude is because he hates America. That explains everything. - This is fairly good, although the crowd doesn't give a shit. They only make noise when Wright dances. After Jericho makes him tap to the LIONTAMER at 4:41, Wright isn't dancing. **. ___________________ We flash to the Great American Bash, when Vincent interfered in Harlem Heat's business. Obviously, that means we're going to see Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri take on the Steiner Brothers. - This match is for the #1 contenders spot, in case you didn't notice. Scott has this goatee going, and it looks ugly. There's some hype for the house show at the Great Western Forum, which is being called The Show that Eric Bischoff Doesn't Want You to See. I suppose that's a good name. - Good match, by Nitro standards. Rick Steiner bulldogs Booker T from the top, and pins him at 8:12 to win the #1 contendership. I think that's what you'd call it. **3/4. Gene Okerlund is now with Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell, who call themselves "Vicious and Delicious." What a terrible name. They also want a title shot, and they leave, as the Steiners make their way up the ramp. The Steiners want Hall and Nash for the belts next week in Vegas, and that's all there is to it. ___________________ Hector Garza vs. Villano IV is the pissbreak match... - Seriously. Tons of empty seats, and the match certainly isn't good enough to bring people back to those seats any quicker. Garza finishes the bout with a standing moonsault at 4:47. 1/2*. ___________________ Mean Gene invites Lex Luger and the Giant to the ring, obviously for interview time. Luger's wearing this Farmer John type shirt, I only mentioned it because it made me laugh. At Bash at the Beach, Luger's going to get revenge on Hogan for last week in Chicago. The Giant's going to put a hook in the Worm, AHHHHH! ___________________ Hour #2 begins, and the match to start that off is Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Syxx w/Scott Hall for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship. - Scott Hall's expressions are hilarious. He's outside the ring, going through all of them, and I'm laughing at it. Eddy Guerrero's standing in the entranceway, because he's watching Chavo's back. Chavo gets in quite a bit of offense, but Scott Hall comes into the ring with the referee distracted and gives Chavo the OUTSIDER'S EDGE. Eddy does nothing, so really, he was just watching Chavo, not his back. The BUZZKILLER gets the submission and Syxx retains his belt at 6:01. **1/4 for another solid affair. ___________________ Konnan is taking on Mongo McMichael w/Debra, now. - Jeff Jarrett is on "Horsemen Probation." Now I've heard everything. Hugh Morrus comes to the ring with a kendo stick, but he isn't allowed into the ring. BUT, that distracts Konnan, and Mongo gives him a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, giving Mongo the pinfall victory at 3:14. 1/2*. ___________________ We're ON THE ROAD in Vegas, yadayada. Those fake slot reel sounds in the background are all too typical. Roddy Piper comes down the aisle to talk to Gene Okerlund, and Piper says that he's still not happy about Slamboree. Apparently, that pissed Ric Flair off, so here he is. Flair says that what happened at Slamboree was in their best interests, and that Piper shouldn't be questioning him. That brings Mongo and CHRIS BENOIT to the ring. Uh-oh. Both having something to say (although Benoit's spiel is edited out), and then, Piper attacks Mongo and Benoit. Now they all fight, including Ric Flair trying to beat up Piper. He can't, but the briefcase to the back fixes all that, and Benoit gives Piper the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE. Officials come to ringside to break things up, and we go to a commercial. ___________________ We're back, and it's Glacier & Ernest Miller taking on High Voltage. - The arena lights always stay dimmed during Glacier's matches...I have no idea why I just now noticed that, or noticed it at all. Mortis and Wrath are nearby, of course. - Miller gives Rage a flying kick off the top for the win at 2:15. Mortis and Wrath now come to ringside, but they don't attack. *. Now we have a Hollywood Hogan and Dennis Rodman video package, for some unexplained reason. ___________________ Finally, the main event is here. Diamond Dallas Page w/Kimberly is taking on Scott Hall w/Randy Savage and Elizabeth. - Needless to say, this one is not going to end clean. Kimberly left early, because she didn't want to be around Savage. Makes sense. What doesn't make sense is that this feud will continue in some fashion until OCTOBER. - Savage comes in at 5:28, getting Hall DQ'd. No surprise. *1/2. Hall gives DDP a back suplex from the top and when Savage goes up for the FLYING ELBOW... IT'S STING! He's in the crowd, oh no! Savage drops the elbow on Page anyway, bringing Sting down to the ring. Savage and Hall plot on the outside about how they'll take this on, and they run into the ring, only to be clobbered by Sting's bat, ending the show. ___________________ Show was good. Best segment was the end of the show, and the worst was Glacier and Miller's tag match. Nitro was better this time. ___________________ Next up is a tripleheader of epic proportions. Just house shows.
  11. Yeah, RAW, from Detroit. ___________________ Gene Okerlund introduces the show, much like he has been with all the WrestleMania related programming. The first match on the card is the Dudley Boys and William Regal vs. the Hardy Boys and Rob Van Dam. - RVD started things off with a pescado onto Regal, which was great. The dudleys go for a table during the match, but it gets kicked into D-Von's face. That's also great. - There's a shmoz, and after multiple finishers, it ends with the FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH onto William Regal, getting the pinfall at 4:01. **. Good way to start things off. ___________________ You see, there's an emergency board meeting right now. Thanks to Ric Flair, this company is in a state of emergency. Vince McMahon wants the board to choose what direction the company will head in. I always hate these board meetings. Just a big waste of time is all they are. Kurt Angle has a microphone in the ring, and he wants to talk about crime, cause this is Detroit, and all. He says that he was robbed of a WrestleMania title shot a few weeks ago, and turns to Kane. He knows that Kane is the Big Red Machine, but he says that Kurt Angle is the Big Red White and Blue Machine. I LOL'd. He's facing Kane at WrestleMania, calls the fans stupid...which brings out Booker T. Booker T says that Kurt Angle's pissing him off, so the fans cheer. Then he says, that these people are BEYOND stupid. It's all their fault he doesn't have the Japanese shampoo endorsement, which of course, brings out Edge. Edge wants to face Booker T at WrestleMania, and then the conversation turns into how white Kurt Angle is. Kurt Angle says he has soul, and does a spinaroonie. Then they challenge Edge and a partner of his choice. Stephanie McMahon has HHH's dog, she hates it, has a court order which says she owns it, yadayadayada ___________________ The second match on the show is Rikishi vs. Test. - Oh no. Sounds terrible. On Heat, Test helped Mr. Perfect beat Rikishi. So we have this. - Mr. Perfect tried to interfere, even though it was thwarted, Test still pinned Rikishi after the big boot at 1:57. 1/4*. Not good at all. ___________________ Chris Jericho hates dogs, you see. The dog shits on the floor, and Stephanie makes he and the dog leave. He ties the dog to a door handle on a limo, and leaves. I can't believe they made him into Stephanie's bitch. Oh wait, I do believe it, I just didn't like it. DDP's trying to help Christian, but they encounter Billy and Chuck. Christian wants to face Billy tonight. He believes that he'll be able to end his losing streak. That's not a bad thing, that's A GOOD THING. Vince McMahon shows the board of directors a clip in which Flair accidentally punched a fan and was arrested. Big whoop. ___________________ Al Snow is facing Goldust for the Hardcore Title now... - I love Goldust's gold weapons. Funny stuff. Al Snow wins the title after a SNOWPLOW onto a trash can, at 1:03. *. ___________________ Chris Jericho jumped in the limo cause he wanted to go buy something, and the driver ran over the dog. Poor dog. HHH is pretty pissed off. ___________________ We have that little tag team match, which is Kurt Angle and Booker T vs. Edge and...THE BIG SHOW. - Hoo-rah for mystery partners. - Go to the end, ANGLE SLAM on Show, ANKLE LOCK on Show, and he taps out at 4:38. *1/2. ___________________ At WWF New York, Jacqueline, Torrie Wilson and Terri are there, parading around in bikinis. Yeah. ___________________ Billy w/Chuck is taking on Christian w/DDP... - DDP goes on commentary for a bit. Nothing wrong with that, although there's defnitely something wrong with Christian's temper tantrums. I've seen enough shitty booking and ideas on this show to last a lifetime. - As the referee was distracted, DDP snuck in and gave Christian a DIAMOND CUTTER. So, that helped Christian to break his losing streak after the pinfall at 2:08. 1/2*. After the bout, Christian gives DDP a reverse DDT. Seeing as DDP's the European Champion, obviously Christian wants a title shot. ___________________ Back to the board of directors, Vince wants a vote of confidence in him. Whatever. ___________________ Lita and Trish Stratus vs. Stacy Keibler and Jazz is the next match... - On Smackdown, Jazz attacked Lita during her match with Stacy Keibler. Plus, Jazz, Lita and Trish will be facing each other at WrestleMania, so this is self-explanatory. - There's a brawl, Trish kicks Lita on accident, and Jazz pins her at 2:24. DUD. Boy oh boy, this show sucks a fat one. ___________________ Stephanie McMahon is on her way to the ring, and she says that it wasn't her fault what happened to HHH's dog. HHH comes down, chases her and tosses her into the ring...and before the PEDIGREE, Jericho hits him in the knee with the SLEDGEHAMMER. OMG. "I think I tore my quad." During the commercial break, Jericho chopblocked HHH while he was being helped to the back. What a dastardly human being. HHH does the whole stretcher job, and we go back to the... Board meeting. Vince gets full authority now, but they can review this decision after WrestleMania. Flair cuts a good, calm promo about how he's going to get revenge on the Undertaker, at ANY COST. ___________________ The NWO is in the back, and see, they can't wait until WrestleMania. But right now, they're going to face Steve Austin and the Rock in a handicap match. - Personally, I cannot believe this match was on television. On television the week before a PPV, no less. - The black and white effect during the NWO entrance is fantastic. In the late 90's-2000, any of these matchups (example...Austin/Nash, Hall/Rock) would've been big money drawing matches. I wouldn't have had Rock and Hogan interact at all during this match. Just my opinion. - The match is ridiculously formula, and it finishes when Hogan DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG on Rock at 9:13. Austin attacked Hogan post-match, but Hall and Nash beat he and the Rock down. *1/4 for the whole thing...where's the spraypaint? End show. ___________________ Rating: Bad. Really bad. This was one of the worst RAW's I've watched in a long time. If not for the novelty of the main event, I'd have called it terrible. Best Segment: Opening 6-man tag. Worst: Take your pick. ___________________ WrestleMania X8 review will be up next, but there's no rush. Unless WrestleMania VIII gets posted on Tuesday, WM X8 is the only thing I have to review for a week and a half.
  12. We're LIVE FROM CHICAGO, and the NWO is on their way to the ring. In this case, that means Dennis Rodman and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. This being Chicago and all, the pop for Rodman's entrance is huge. They're smoking cigars, and you know why, because Rodman and Hogan are supposed to face Lex Luger and the GIANT at Bash at the Beach. The NWO really doesn't want that though, instead, they want to face them tonight. Rodman calls out "Lex Luthor," but they get no answer. At Great American Bash last night, Ric Flair brawled with Syxx, which led to Piper losing their chance at the WCW Tag Titles. So, Flair will be here tonight to explain himself. ___________________ The opener for tonight is Glacier vs. Mortis w/James Vandenberg... - I think Vandenberg still has Glacier's helmet. One little thing I noticed, Glacier has blue borders around the letters in his name on the display during the entrance. Seriously. - Wrath comes down the aisle and onto the apron, but Mortis runs into him, which leads to a CRYONIC KICK. That allows Glacier to pin Mortis at 2:14. *3/4. After the bout, Wrath attacks Glacier, until Ernest Miller cleans house. What a terrible angle this is, but that said, this is generally my favorite part of the show. ___________________ Mean Gene is with Madusa, who's being forced to retire after losing to Akira Hokuto last night. Sucks for her. She's a woman of her word, and that's it. See you guys around. ___________________ Dean Malenko comes to the ring, and you know what, seeing as Eddie Guerrero interfered and cost him the US Title against Jeff Jarrett last week, he wants to face him, right now. Instead, Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out, seemingly to stick up for his uncle. And they'll have a match. - Dean was looking around for Eddie for most of the match, btw. - Chavo put in a good effort, but he tapped out to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF at 3:38. **. Eddie Guerrero's at the entrance, but he just leaves without saying anything. ___________________ La Parka vs. Super Calo is next, supposedly because these two are having some problems. - Calo does that tope con hilo which takes him into the crowd, and I'm starting to hate it. Way too dangerous. - A flying headscissors off the top gives Calo the pinfall victory at 3:44, and after the bout, LA PARKA breaks a plastic chair over Calo's head. You know, because he's the Chairman of WCW. ** for the whole thing. ___________________ Lex Luger and the GIANT are with Mean Gene, the Giant just babbles, and they want to face the NWO tonight as well. So it'll happen. By the way, I wrote that spoiler into my notes before watching the rest of the show. Just so you know. ___________________ The next matchup on the card tonight is the Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri vs. the Amazing French Canadians w/Col. Robert Parker. - You see, Sherri and Parker, well, they have history. Last month on WWE 24/7, their wedding was shown. They weren't able to get married, though, thanks to Madusa. - Jacques Rougeau wants to sing the Canadian National Anthem, but really, all he wants to do is attack Harlem Heat. Last night at Great American Bash, Harlem Heat defeated the Steiners by DQ, thanks to Vincent. That win made them the #1 contenders for the tag titles. - Booker pinned Jacques at 3:45 after an elevated Harlem Sidekick. The match was only acceptable, so I'll rate it *1/4. Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon, who says that Harlem Heat's win last night was tainted. They don't want the NWO manipulating results, so next week, there's going to be a rematch. Vincent comes out and says that he did Harlem Heat a favor (this should've occured before the thing with Dillon, not after) at Great American Bash, so Harlem Heat kick his ass. Pseudo face turn right there. ___________________ Rey Mysterio vs. Syxx w/Scott Hall and Kevin Nash for the Cruiserweight Title is up next, and last time these two faced on Nitro, Rey was left battered and bruised in the center of the ring. That'll probably happen this time too. - It's hour #2 of Nitro, so the pyro goes off. DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH. Only in WCW, I tell you. - After a Rey hurricanrana off the top, the NWO runs into the ring. BUT, Rey fights them off, and knocks both men out of the ring. That was all the distraction Syxx needed, though, and he slaps on the Buzzkiller to force Rey to tap at 4:47. **1/4. After the bout, Nash JACKKNIFES Rey right on his head. Ouch. Nash gets on the mic, and talks about Flair and Piper. Hey yo, those guys aren't icons. Here comes Randy Savage, who talks about NWO 4 LIFE and that nobody's BETTAH THAN THE MACHO MAN....OOOOOOOHH YEEAH! DDP is in the crowd to dispute that fact, saying that Savage can't do a thing by himself. He wants to face Hall and Nash, seeing as he's found a partner and all. He's not saying who, though. I'm not going to say who it is, in case anyone's curious. Just wait until we get closer to the show. Don't spoil it for yourself if you don't know. ___________________ The next match is Chris Jericho vs. the Ultimo Dragon. - Hey, a matchup which frequently occured in WAR. Sonny Onoo tries to pay Jericho off, but Jericho pushes him to the ground. - Unfortunately, this match is nowhere near as good as its predecessors. It wouldn't even have been good if given time. Dragon pins Jericho with a tiger suplex at 4:38, thankfully. *. ___________________ On the Road with Lee Marshall in Macon, yadayadayada... After, Mean Gene is with Rowdy Roddy Piper. He doesn't want Rodman to steal his kilt, which elicits a few boos. He wants to talk to Ric Flair, obviously. Flair comes out and says it was the fight of his life once he made it past that curtain at the Bash..but mostly, he's sorry. ___________________ Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton are set to take on Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael, who are of course accompanied by Debra. - Mongo was a Chicago Bear. Obviously he's beloved by this crowd. Mongo gives Jarrett a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER in mid-strut, and Buff pins Jarrett for the win. My time was messed up, but this wasn't very long. You know why Mongo tombstoned Jarrett? Well, at the Great American Bash, Jarrett accidentally hit Mongo with a briefcase, allowing Mongo to be pinned by Kevin Greene. I reviewed that match some time ago. ** for the match and turn. ___________________ HOLLYWOOD Hogan and Dennis Rodman are set to take on Lex Luger and the GIANT, but...the WCW guys haven't made their entrance. Rodman and Hogan are going to leave, until the GIANT and Luger encounter them in the aisleway. They go back to the ring, and Giant gets Rodman in the CHOKESLAM. The ring is being PELTED with trash, and Hogan stops the chokeslam. Rodman clocks the Giant with the WCW Title, and Hogan hits Luger with it. The typical NWO beatdown ensues, as does the spraypaint. I'd be lying if I said I've seen more trash thrown into a wrestling ring before. This even tops Bash at the Beach from the year previous. This ends the show, and honestly, this was the perfect time for a Sting moment. But with Rodman there, who really knows how the crowd is going to react, this being Chicago. ___________________ The show was good. Best segment was, uh, the ending. Simply because I'm not tired of the beatdowns yet, although I damn sure will be before too long. The worst was the whole Glacier/Miller vs. Wrath/Mortis stuff. This isn't good. ___________________ Now, to MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Lake Placid, NY. ___________________ Intro to the show and all that, Bret Hart won't be there tonight, and Shawn Michaels is out 4-6 weeks because of his backstage fight with Bret. Because of this, we're going to have a tag team tournament. The winner of that is going to take on Steve Austin and a partner of his choice. Steve Austin now comes to the ring, and in mid-speech, Mankind comes on the TitanTron. He thinks that being flipped the bird shows a bond between them, but Austin says that he doesn't need a freak following him around. He didn't need Shawn Michaels shaking his ass all the time, either. Well, Mankind says that he has a nice ass, Austin says he has a fat ass, and that's the end of their conversation. We flashback to what happened last week when Austin was attacked before his match with Brian Pillman, and he's going to whip Pillman's ass when they face off later tonight. Here comes Ken Shamrock, to different music, again. He challenges Austin, and Austin accepts, saying he'll beat him after he beats Pillman. Pillman has an interview in which he displays his dislike for the fact that his stablemates will be handcuffed to the ringposts during his match... ___________________ And now, we have the New Blackjacks taking on Owen Hart and the British Bulldog. First round of the tag tourney, I might add. - There isn't much else to say, other than that Owen gave Bradshaw a spinning heel kick and Bradshaw was pinned for 3 by Bulldog at 3:39. *1/2. ___________________ Paul Bearer and the Undertaker are backstage, where Bearer tells us that he can do WHATEVER HE WANTS. Ken Shamrock is backstage too, and he cuts a terrible promo. I drew nothing from it. ___________________ HHH w/Chyna is facing Phineas Godwinn now... - Thank goodness Henry Godwinn had a messed up neck. It saved us from many terrible tag team matches featuring those two hicks. - Chyna weakly pushed the entrance attire guy before the match. Super weak. Anyhow, toward the end of the match, Chyna gets on the apron, and Phineas kisses her. That's all the distraction HHH needed to give Godwinn the PEDIGREE for the 3 count at 3:34. 1/2*, wasn't good at all. Henry Godwinn comes down the aisle, and he argues with Phineas. He tells Vince McMahon that it's "his fault," and leaves. Vince Russo's fingerprints are all over that. ___________________ Faarooq is with D'Lo Brown, and Faarooq says that two BLACKER members will be added to the Nation tonight. ___________________ Sunny is the guest ring announcer for...Brian Christopher vs. Chris Candido. Yes, I just said that. And Paul Heyman is on commentary. - I like the angle, but this is just weird. A USWA vs. ECW match on WWF TV? - Jerry Lawler comes down to the ring, and pulls Candido off the top rope, getting his son DQ'd at 2:44. Lawler, Christopher and Rob Van Dam all stomp on Candido, until Tommy Dreamer makes the save. *. ___________________ Ahmed Johnson says that the Undertaker needs to do things the easy way, just like Paul Bearer said. Don't understand that. ___________________ Jim Neidhart faces Goldust w/Marlena now.... - It's weird seeing the ANVIL in a singles match. Unfortunately, this match is as bad as it sounds. The British Bulldog comes to the ring, you know, because Marlena slapped him last week. Goldust slaps the Bulldog, and pins Neidhart after a punch at 3:46. Neidhart took a ridiculous bump on a punch you could see didn't even hit. So, DUD. ___________________ After a few promos, we have Steve Austin vs. Brian Pillman. The rest of the Hart Foundation is handcuffed to the ringposts. - Owen continuously tries to get the handcuffs off, to no avail. At least for now. Austin loves to beat on the rest during the match, and we go to a commercial. - We're back, and Pillman's nose is broken. When Austin gives one of the two referees a STUNNER, Owen reaches into that official's pocket and grabs the keys to unlock himself. He unlocks Neidhart and Bulldog, so at 8:30 (shown), Pillman gets disqualified, as they pound on Austin. **. Mankind, Goldust and Shamrock all run down to the ring to break things up, at least until Shamrock gives Austin a belly-to-belly suplex. They brawl, until the Legion of Doom comes out. Mankind has mysteriously disappeared, and Goldust grabs a microphone. He wants these five that are in the ring right now to be the five that take on the Hart Foundation at Canadian Stampede. And you know what, he thinks they'll kick their asses. Austin says that he doesn't need the other four, but seeing as he has to have them to take part in that match, he's going to accept. So the main event at Canadian Stampede is set. ___________________ The Hart Foundation is in the back, and they're fine with facing those five. They don't discriminate, they love to kick everyone's ass, they say. ___________________ Here comes Sable, who's the guest ring announcer for this match between Robert Fulton and Tommy Rogers. - First reaction, WHAT THE FUCK? The Fantastics are facing each other? On WWF TV no less? It's short, but good anyway. At 2:48, Rogers pins Fulton after an UNPRETTIER. *3/4. I can't understand this. After the bout, Marc Mero comes down the aisle. You know why? Because he kinda wants Sable to go to the back. I loved this angle, and the seeds have been planted. Fortunately or unfortunately, he doesn't wrestle until September. ___________________ The Headbangers are taking on Jerry Lawler and Rob Van Dam as part of this tag team tournament... - Heyman and Tommy Dreamer are in the crowd...you know something's gonna happen. These old clips make me miss RVD...just being honest. - Big chants of "YOU SOLD OUT" are pointed towards RVD...and when the referee is distracted, THE SANDMAN comes down the aisle and canes Lawler in the nuts. The Headbangers pin Lawler after a cool double team move (don't know what to call it)at 4:38, and now, we brawl. There's a huge fight, at least until it's broken up. Match was *1/2. ___________________ Ahmed Johnson and the Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs. Faarooq and a mystery partner is our main event. - You know who the mystery partner is? Well, after much delay, it's KAMA MUSTAFA. Talk about a disappointment. We go to a commercial... - After the commercial, Kama pins Taker CLEAN with a uranage at 3:49 (shown). Yes, I just said that KAMA pinned the Undertaker clean, 1/2*. Ahmed gets in the ring after the match, and gives the Undertaker the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE. Following that...he stands with the Nation, and salutes, to much disdain. He's member #4. End show. ___________________ The show was decent, the best segment was probably the lead up to the 10 man tag at Canadian Stampede, and the worst was Jim Neidhart vs. Goldust. Nitro was much better this week, and if not for the Stampede buildup and Ahmed turn, we'd be talking about a pretty bad show. ___________________ The RAW from before WrestleMania X8 will be up next. And then of course, WM X8 itself.
  13. Time to get this one out of the way... ___________________ To begin the show, we get some King of the Ring highlights, and then, our first match is the Legion of Doom and Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq, Savio Vega, and Crush. - The Nation is falling apart, so to speak. I won't spoil what happens, mainly because I don't want to remember HOW exactly it happens. - Faarooq's partners left him all by his lonesome, so Ahmed gives him the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE, getting the pinfall at 6:09. *3/4. ___________________ The King of the Ring winner was HHH, who's with Vince McMahon in the ring. He tells Vince that the King of the Ring was supposed to be his last year, but Vince's politics got in the way. I larfed. Anyway, he says that this is his ring, at least until Mankind comes on the TitanTron. He wants a rematch, but Chyna tells him to kiss her ass. Mankind says he's a good kisser, and makes his way to the ring. HHH attacks him with the KotR crown, but Mankind steals it for his own when finished. ___________________ Before this match, we flashback to Bulldog's European Title win. You know why? It's because this is our first European Title defense on RAW, as Goldust is taking on the British Bulldog. - During the match, they do a little "Bulldog's foot on the ropes while being pinned, but they count to three anyway thing." Tim White spots it after the count, and the match continues as we go to a commercial. - From what I've seen on this show, Vince is a much better announcer when not paired up with Jerry Lawler. I knew that already, but seemed to have forgotten. Anyway, the match ends in a double countout at 7:20 (shown). **. After the match, Bulldog drops Goldust face-first onto the steel steps. So Marlena slaps him, twice. Bulldog was going to hit her with a chair as she was keeping Goldust from being attacked, but Ken Shamrock runs down for the save. Bulldog leaves. ___________________ In the back, the Nation of Domination argued. Faarooq said that he's going to the ring, without Vega and Crush. He says something about Vega and jalapeno's, and kicks Vega out of the Nation. He also kicks Crush out of the Nation, along with Clarence Mason and two of the black dudes that went with him to the ring. That leaves D'Lo Brown, who's allowed to stay. Next week, Faarooq has a challenge, he wants D'Lo and himself to face Ahmed Johnson and the Undertaker. ___________________ Paul Heyman and Tommy Dreamer (yes, I really said those two names) come down to ringside through the crowd, and you know why? Well, Rob Van Dam has a match later. But right now, it's Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon vs. the Headbangers. - I hate the Headbangers. Well, LaFon accidentally comes off the top and splashes Furnas, which allows the Headbangers to get the pinfall victory at 3:38. *. Jerry Lawler's with RVD, because that's his guy. ___________________ Time for the WARZONE, and Steve Austin's in the ring with Vince. Vince takes the asshole route, because he's outraged that Austin whipped on Pillman during the PPV last night and made him drink toilet water. He'll kick Pillman's ass later, and at Canadian Stampede, he wants in the 10 man tag match (Good thing this'll be on 24/7 next month). He calls Gorilla Monsoon a fat ass who better not get in his way, bottom line and all that, before leaving. ___________________ NOW, we get Rob Van Dam's match, as he's taking on Flash Funk. Lawler accompanied him to the ring, and he'll join on commentary as well. - There's great aerial stuff in the beginning, but even before that, Dreamer tried to fight RVD from the other side of the guardrail. Officials came down to separate, and the match began. - Suffice it to say, I don't think many 4 minute matches can be better than this. These two tore the house down, IMO. Anyway, RVD pinned him after the split-legged moonsault at 4:23. Would've been great if the time was 4:20, harhar. After the match, Heyman and Dreamer jump the rail, so they brawl with Lawler and RVD until officials break it up. ___________________ Ken Shamrock comes down for commentary, during this non-title bout between Psycho Sid and Owen Hart w/the Anvil. - The look Owen had on his face when Sid's music hit was great. Probably an understatement. - The crowd loves Sid, but who knows why. It never made sense. Good thing he left again or was forced out, because the booking indicates that he was going to be in the 10 Man Tag at Canadian Stampede. I don't know for sure, that's just a guess. It would've been ruined if that was the case. - "Softball Sid" chant...before Ken Shamrock runs over to Neidhart and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex after multiple attempted interferences. He should've snapped. Sid finished with the chokeslam at 4:17, 3/4*. Like I always say, non-title means something's up. ___________________ Here comes Sable to model a RAW shirt...was wondering where this segment went over the past few weeks. Anyway, I'm still embarassed for Michael Hayes. Now, is part four of the Mankind interview. Much like when Pillman appeared in ECW, I'll just post it. Nothing else does it justice. ___________________ Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man takes on Bart Gunn next, and nobody really gives a fuck. - I like when former partners face each other way on down the line. Just because. I never like the way they break up, unless one throws the other through a plate glass window. Anyway, Rockabilly picks up the pinfall at 2:54 after a swinging neckbreaker. *1/2. ___________________ Brian Pillman vs. Steve Austin is our much anticipated main event, but....the Harts attack Austin before the match. MANKIND(?) comes out to save Austin, and now, we have a match, that being Pillman vs. Mankind. - Ok, Mankind coming out didn't make a whole lot of sense. You could say that he wants to team up against the Harts, but that doesn't explain him running down to the ring for a match. JR plays up that these two are nutcases, and the crowd shits on the match. That's great. Owen and the rest attack during the MANDIBLE CLAW, at 5:13, getting Pillman DQ'd. Austin and Shamrock come out to save Mankind, and once the ring is cleared, Austin gives Shamrock a STUNNER, and gives Mankind two middle fingers, to end the show. 1/2* for the match. ___________________ Rating: Decent. Next week will be good, I'm sure, as that's the direction where the angles seem to be pointed in. Undertaker not being there made zero sense, he's the champion! Best Segment: The fourth part of the Mankind interview. Worst Segment: Furnas and LaFon vs. the Headbangers. Cannot stand the Headbangers. ___________________ I'll put up a Survivor Series '07 review up within the next few days.
  14. Nitro is from Dayton, Ohio. Had to get that out of the way. ___________________ The NWO comes to the ring, in this case, that means Syxx and Scott Hall. For a promo, you know. Well, JJ Dillon comes out, and says that Scott Hall MUST face Ric Flair tonight. If Hall doesn't face Flair, he and Nash have to vacate their tag titles, so really, Hall has no choice. He accepts. ___________________ Intro to Nitro and all that, which brings us to Alex Wright vs. Glacier. - It's Glacier's first match since Slamboree, unfortunately, there's a whole lot of spot miscommunication. In a match that only lasts 1:38, that knocks it down to a DUD. Glacier finished it with the CRYONIC KICK, so now, James Vandenberg comes to the ring, to distract Glacier from the sneak attack of Mortis and Wrath. They attack, but Glacier fended them all off, after Mortis accidentally kicked an eager Wright. Wright wanted to join in, see. ___________________ Our next match, featuring someone who hasn't wrestled on this program since I got 24/7, is Buff Bagwell w/Scott Norton vs. Joe Gomez. - In a split-screen prior to the match, Buff and Norton talk about NWO in Japan and all that. Buff Blockbuster (awesome move) finishes at 3:07. *1/4. WCW Saturday Night ad follows, and Mike Tenay is in the crowd, giving us information about Ernest Miller. If only this never happened... ___________________ Hugh Morrus is scheduled to face Prince Iaukea, but before the match, Konnan attacks Morrus at the entranceway. Morrus is dazed, but the match will go on. - Wow, they blew the finish. Iaukea was supposed to slide under Morrus and roll him up, but Iaukea ran right into Morrus' leg. They do it again, and Iaukea rolls him up for the win at :47. You know what, you get -* for fucking up the only thing that was supposed to happen in the match. ONLY THING. That finish exposed the business so bad that my MENTALLY HANDICAPPED cousin asked me if wrestling was fake. Naturally, I told him no, otherwise, he'd try to do wrestling moves on his brother. Don't want any part of that. ___________________ JJ Dillon is with Mean Gene, because he's looking for a future #1 contending tag team. See, he says that the Steiners will be #1 contenders, if they win tonight. If. They'll face the winner of Piper/Flair vs. the Outsiders, I believe. Harlem Heat come out, and they're pissed. DDP video, from when he was a jobber, to now. Great American Bash hype and all that, he's facing Randy Savage again. ___________________ The next match is the Steiner Brothers vs. Masahiro Chono and the Great Muta. - This is a dream match, although it won't work out the way it should. Not that much happened at the beginning, but the crowd was in the palm of their hands. After the heat segment, Chono accidentally gives Muta a YAKUZA KICK! Harlem Heat come to the ring and attack Rick Steiner with a chair, and that allows Muta to pin Rick for the 3 count at 8:53. This was one of those matches you kinda need to see, just because. **3/4. JJ Dillon comes to the ring, and announces that this match is up for review. Harlem Heat have a match later, as well. Hour #2 starts, and Mean Gene is with Ric Flair. Flair cuts an insane promo on Hall, and storms off. This was nuts, even for Flair. ___________________ Michael Wallstreet is up against Dean Malenko for the US Title... - Nick Patrick is a referee, so we're going to have some friction between he and Wallstreet. I absolutely cannot stand this angle. There's some good action in here, but I'm kinda bothered with how I know this match is going to end. Anyway, Jeff Jarrett tried some interference, but it didn't help. Malenko applies the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, and Patrick stands in front of Wallstreet so that he cannot reach the bottom rope in order to break the hold. Wallstreet submits at 6:22, **. After the match, Mean Gene is with Jarrett and Debra. Jarrett is going to face Malenko next week in Boston, and for some reason, Mongo comes out and says that he wants to know when Jarrett comes to the ring. Then he cuts a bad promo on Kevin Greene that I don't care about. ___________________ We get to the Harlem Heat match, as they're facing Ciclope and Damien. - Ciclope has the best getup of any luchador. For real. Barbarian's supposed to face Chris Benoit later, but it wasn't shown. - The Steiners come to ringside and hit Booker T with a chair, before tossing him back into the ring, where Damien comes off the top with a big splash for 3 at 3:31. *. Now that's an upset. ___________________ Like I said, Benoit/Barbarian was skipped, so now, it's time for the main event, that being Ric Flair vs. Scott Hall w/Syxx. - There's a whole lot of Syxx interference, but I don't have a problem with it. Flair did this little thing where he Flair Flipped onto the apron and jumped onto Syxx, who was on the floor. That was cool. This was a nice little TV main event, until Hall hit Flair with his title belt at 7:49, getting himself disqualified. **3/4. Hall and Syxx continually attack Syxx, until Jarrett and Mongo save him from the attack. Good match. ___________________ Some NWO members are coming to the ring, this time, it's Randy Savage and Elizabeth. Savage takes Mean Gene hostage, and tells him to come along with him to the ring. Macho says that he's the best ever, which causes JJ Dillon to make ANOTHER appearance. Dillon tells Savage not to put his hands on announcers, so Savage attacks him. Bischoff comes to the ring to make Savage stop, and Bischoff tells Dillon that he deserves it, seeing as he kept running his mouth. That's the end of the show. ___________________ Stupid ending to a good show. Two DUD's, but two pretty good matches as well. Best segment was Hall/Flair, and the worst was Morrus/Iaukea. Nitro is less of a program because Syxx is holding the Cruiserweight Title and not defending it. That's just my opinion. ___________________ RAW is from Huntington, West Virginia this week. Expect huge reactions for Steve Austin. ___________________ To begin the show, the Undertaker makes his way to the ring, for an interview with Vince McMahon. Taker says that he pretty much had to join Paul Bearer. He then runs down Paul Bearer, to the point where Bearer makes his way to the ring. Bearer says that he will RULE THE WORLD, so you just know that Psycho Sid will have something to say about that. Sid trashes Bearer for joining up with Bearer, and wants his rematch, that he never received after WrestleMania. Taker accepts, and Faarooq has something to say about that. This time next week, he says he'll be the Champion. Sure. ___________________ Ahmed Johnson faces Faarooq now... - Before the match, there's a hype video, seeing as this is a long-running feud, and all. The Nation was sent away from the ring, but they came back anyway. - At the end, Taker whips Faarooq into Ahmed, who rams his own head into the steel steps. Faarooq throws Ahmed in, and pins him for the 3 count at 3:09. *3/4. Surprisingly good. After the match, Taker chokeslammed Ahmed, cause he pushed him. He shouldn't have done that. ___________________ The Hart Foundation is in the ring with Vince, and HBK and Austin are on the TitanTron. Because Austin attacked Bret, Bret can't wrestle at King of the Ring. HBK's really pissed off at Austin, so he goes off to fight him. They argue instead, as the Harts are planning something. They want Austin to face HBK at King of the Ring, and on next week's show, Austin will face Brian Pillman. ___________________ The next match was Bob Holly vs. Owen Hart w/the Hart Foundation for the Intercontinental Title. - This was competitive, while it lasted. Honestly, they tore the house down for 3:17. The SHARPSHOOTER finished things up, so Owen retained his title. **1/4. HBK says that he'll face Austin at King of the Ring...and later, we get to see more of the Mick Foley interview. YES! ___________________ In another singles match, we have Goldust w/Marlena taking on HHH w/Chyna. - They're really digging into the old feud vault here. There were some highlights before the match, typically. - Goldust's face paint is BIZARRE. HHH accidentally knees Chyna in the back, which gives Goldust the distraction he needs to roll HHH up for 3 at 3:48. *1/4. Hopefully that feud's done. ___________________ Before this match, the Legion of Doom cut a promo. Typical LOD promo, Hawk blabbering and all that. So yeah, it's the Legion of Doom vs. HBK and Steve Austin for the WWF Tag Team Titles. - The Warzone has begun, and judging by the initial reaction, HBK is the heel. Like I said, these people love their STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD. There's a commercial break... - Back from the break, Austin and HBK duck out to confront the Hart Foundation at ringside, but they wind up fighting each other instead. That gets them counted out at 7:05 (shown). HBK gets the better of the brawl, but as for the match itself, the champions pulled out all their little tricks in order to have a good match. And it worked...**1/2. ___________________ Jerry Lawler is on commentary for this Mankind vs. Savio Vega in the first round of King of the Ring match, but first, we get to see part 3 of the Mankind interview. He talks about the deathmatch tournament in Japan, mostly. - Mankind's sorta in-between. The adult males are cheering him, but otherwise, no. When he attacked Jerry Lawler, he won some of them over. Crush accidentally punched Savio Vega, so Mankind was able to pin Vega for the win at 3:02. Crush and Vega argue after the match, in somewhat of a precursor to GANG WARS. *1/2. ___________________ So, the King of the Ring card is shaping up like this. Undertaker vs. Faarooq for the WWF Title, Mankind vs. Jerry Lawler and Ahmed Johnson vs. HHH in King of the Ring action, LOD and Sid vs. Owen Hart, the British Bulldog and Jim Neidhart, and Austin vs. HBK. I think that's it, as for what was advertised. ___________________ Psycho Sid vs. Undertaker w/Paul Bearer in a non-title match is both the main event and our "WrestleMania rematch..." - I don't get the non-title part. I never do. JR makes a reference to Sid and softball, which had me laughing for a bit. This was better than the WrestleMania match, which isn't to say a whole lot at all. The TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER finishes at 4:46, 1/2*. So yeah, they basically buried Sid for no-showing a few months back. He got only a little offense. The Nation of Domination attacks, but Sid tries to fend them off. He can't, and the Nation beats both Sid and Taker to end the show. ___________________ I suppose RAW was good. That said, for once, I think Nitro was better. More matches of length, but not only that, there wasn't any of that stupid Paul Bearer stuff that's beginning to get on my nerves. The best segment on RAW was LOD vs. Austin/HBK, and the worst was LOD's promo. I've never been able to understand what they're trying to say. ___________________ Things are going to change. I'm done reviewing current shows, because I don't have the time. I'll stick to PPV's, old RAW's and Nitro's, SNME's, Clash shows, and anything else like that, such as Coliseum Video's or overseas programs like European Rampage '91. So yeah, random thoughts are dead, although I'm keeping the review style for the MNW program. Doing it this way gives me more time to write things, which is better for me. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing about these programs. I could always put in a paragraph if something catches my eye. I'll have a Royal Rumble '02 review up soon.
  15. I usually don't do the house shows unless something really catches my eye, and in this case, something did. You'll see what it was, later. So yeah, 9-6-86 show from the Boston Garden. ___________________ So, our first match from Boston is a fantastic singles competition between Sivi Afi and Pete Doherty. - Jobberific! Gorilla says something about how Afi wanted to be called "Toma" now...I believe this indicates that Afi was going to be the second Islander, as Haku's partner. If anything, it's a rough draft, so to speak. - Afi's matches are usually paced well, but not this one, because Doherty has quite a few years on his body, to say the least. Afi gives him a crossbody off the top at 7:02, and that gives him the victory via pinfall. *1/4. The rating is self explanatory. ___________________ This is one of the reasons I watched the show, but not THE reason. Yes, it's the Hart Foundation vs. the US Express. - I suppose I'll never understand why Rotunda's name always changed to Rotundo, and vice versa. I don't think I could ever get used to the Hart Foundation not wearing pink and black. Black and turquoise here... - Bret botched a leapfrog over Spivey in the middle of the match, because Spivey is so tall. I laughed. The Express sorta play heel, but because they represent the US, the crowd never boos them, you see. At around 10 minutes, I was pretty sure that this was going to be a 20 minute draw. It was a 20 minute draw after the bell rang at 18:32, but my favorite part of the match was the extremely long chase around the ring sequence. Spivey chased both members of the Hart Foundation in succession for about 30 seconds each. **1/2. The crowd didn't really care all that much. ___________________ Although I know that George Steele is the guy facing Macho Man Randy Savage w/Elizabeth for the Intercontinental Title, this is the reason I watched the show. I never can get enough of watching Savage. - Steele attacks Savage at the start with...a BODYSLAM! Wow, Steele did an actual wrestling move. Savage hits Steele multiple times with a foreign object that he had hidden in his tights, and I loved it. Talk about a blind ref, he didn't even notice. - They be brawlin', until Savage gets hit with a chair by Steele at...no time. I don't even think the bell sounded to start the match. Obviously, Steele gets disqualified. Savage runs backstage, and while Steele celebrates, Savage attacks him. Steele comes back, and Savage runs backstage, only to come back again and be thwarted in his attack by Steele. *1/2, which is saying a lot in regards to a Steele match. Steele brings a few kids in the ring, and they eat turnbuckles with him. How nice. ___________________ Rene Goulet vs. Pedro Morales is.... Whoops, I believe I accidentally hit the fast forward button on my remote control. ___________________ Our next match is King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd w/Bobby Heenan vs. The Machines. Big and Super are the two Machines taking part in this match. - Big Machine is played by Blackjack Mulligan, and Super Machine is played by Bill Eadie, who most would know as Demolition Ax. There you have it. - Hosstastic! There's a lot of beef in the ring. Heenan comes on commentary...lots of trash is being thrown at Bundy and Studd, throughout the match. It gets worse when Studd and Bundy argue, and even worse than that when Heenan breaks up a pin attempt on Studd, getting his team DQ'd at 9:06. Brain grabs a microphone, and wants the Machines to get a partner for next month. Oh yeah, son! *3/4. ___________________ Seeing as Heenan got all upset, he won't be accompaning KING Harley Race for his match against Corporal Kirchner. - This show is pretty star-studded. The guy in the front row has two fingers for Kirchner. Guess which ones. - This is a strange matchup, to put it nicely. The match is a showcase of all Harley's signature moves and bumps, so I enjoyed it. It's a little too long, though, as evidenced by the bored crowd. Kirchner comes off the rope with a crossbody, but Race reverses it, getting the win at 13:46. **. Such an overused finish in the 80's, but I rarely see it now. Not sure if that's good or bad, but everything now is hit your finisher (or multiple finisher sequence), pin. Throw in some variation, please. ___________________ Cowboy Bob Orton is facing a hillbilly, thankfully, it's the one that can wrestle a little, Cousin Luke. - Orton is Adrian Adonis' bodyguard at this time, which explains his pink hat that he wore to the ring. There's a gigantic boring chant, so this ended quickly. Figured. Luke charged into an Orton knee, and got pinned at 4:12. 1/2*. With Luke's buddies, this could've been terrible. ___________________ Our main event is Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik w/Slick vs. The British Bulldogs, for the WWF Tag Team Titles. - Volkoff's rendition of the Russian national anthem always gets big heel heat. There's only been two dead wrestlers on the show. I was taken aback by that, because most of the time when watching these old shows, I think about how so many wrestlers that I used to watch have died. - Gorilla Monsoon talked with Slick during a part of the match, and said that Slick had big lips. Ok, Gorilla didn't really say that. He said he'd give him bigger lips than the ones he already has if he didn't shut it. - The scroll in the scoreboard area at Boston Garden says that it'll be PIPER MACHINE teaming up with the Machines against Heenan, Bundy and Studd next month. I figured they'd give it away to sell tickets. Bulldog rolls Sheik up at the end of an underwhelming match, the cradle gets reversed twice by Dynamite and once by Volkoff, but it still gives the British Bulldogs the win at 10:57. **. Sheik and Davey were on the canvas for about a 30 count. For real. That's the end of the show, obviously. ___________________ Show was, eh, good. For a house show, your standards have to be lowered. You just have to be glad to see a good collection of talent in competitive matches. We had that here, so its good. I try to take the perspective of a fan that paid good money for a ticket with house shows. Best match was the Hart Foundation vs. the US Express, and the worst was probably Rene Goulet vs. Pedro Morales. The worst I watched was Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke. ___________________ ECW from 2/18/96 was next...this show was a jumbled mess, albeit fun, so my typing is going to look like a jumbled mess too. ___________________ Missy Hyatt and Sandman talked about masturbation with Sandman's singapore cane at the beginning of the show, which somehow segued into a 6 man tag, as the Bad Crew took on Dino Sendoff, the Dirtbike Kid and Don E. Allen. The crowd SHIT all over it. The Bad Crew squashed these guys, and Sandman came in after the match, to cane all of them. The audience liked that. ___________________ Intro to the show and all that, as Joey Styles is in the ring. The lights go off...and it's BRIAN FUCKING PILLMAN, who appears in the middle of the ring ! Sign Guy has a sign that says, "don't work me!" That was great. Obviously, this is the scene of his insane promo. I'll just post it. My favorite part was when Shane said, "he's shooting!" See, those words, for me anyway, have become synonymous with WCW, so to hear them here reminded me of Shane Douglas in WCW 2000. ___________________ Joey Styles hypes Taz as being a real loose cannon, so Bill Alfonso has to start talkin', on this little video. I love him. He rambled the whole time..."I'm eating steak!" The Gangstas were supposed to face The Headhunters on this show, but New Jack found himself in jail. Excuse me for a second. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Anyway, the Headhunters beat on Mustafa Saed. Now we get to the Headhunters match, and they're taking on the surprise team of...the BRUISE BROTHERS. Oh no. Tommy Dreamer had brought them in for the night, Joey says. More on that later. - Yeah, they were facing a surprise team. I guess when they meant surprise, they meant it in the worst way. The Bruise Brothers are the Harris Brothers, in case you didn't know. - It's a brawl, but you couldn't see anything for a good sized portion of what was shown. Is that a good thing? I think so. One of the Harris Brothers pinned a Headhunter, and a Headhunter pinned a Harris, at the same time. But the Harris Brothers won, as their pin was the one that was counted. ___________________ We get the marcea hatt omves lal runoda with Lance Wright, and then, clips from Stevie Richards and the Eliminators vs. The Pitbulls and Francine in a Dog Collar Match. There's really nothing of importance, except for a few Super Bombs. We moved forward, and as the Eliminators were choking out the Pitbulls with their chains, Francine pinned Stevie for a 3 count. For that, everyone was Totally Eliminated after the match. That's the price you pay. The Eliminators cut a promo, and show us a video of many of their TOTAL ELIMINATIONS. ___________________ Buh Buh Ray Dudley faces Mr. Hughes right now...I never got the whole Mr. Hughes thing. Big Dick Dudley wouldn't allow Hughes to beat on Buh Buh, so he kicks Hughes' ass, and Buh Buh gives Hughes a big splash off the top for the 3 count after about 30 seconds. DUD. ___________________ Joey Styles is with Tommy Dreamer....but here comes Raven. Raven talks about what happens to liars in other countries, and since Tommy got Beulah pregnant, he insinuates that he'll cut Tommy's dick off. The Harris Brothers and Shane Douglas come to the ring at the sound of that, and Tommy asks Shane to get Beulah out of here. When Shane's gone, the Harris Brothers attack Tommy and ram him dick-first into the ringpost, over and over. Remember, the Harris Brothers were supposed to be Tommy's friends. That's the end of the show. ___________________ Next time, I'll just write a paragraph or two about the ECW show. It was all over the place. I can't even rate it. ___________________ Last, I watched Smackdown, from Corpus Christi. ___________________ The first segment is a repeat of Monday. You know, how all 6 participants in the Elimination Chamber came to the ring and cut promos, but this one ended as Taker appeared in the ring after the lights were turned out. Also, we get a 6 man tag tonight, just like on RAW. USE DIFFERENT IDEAS. ___________________ The first match on the show was a rematch from ECW last week, Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane. - Before the match, THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NUUUH - Kane gets a LOT of offense. After knocking Shelton back into the ring from the outside, Kane gets counted out, at 6:02. *1/2. Kane getting all that offense wasn't necessarily a good thing. ___________________ Chuck Palumbo faced Jamie Noble w/Michelle McCool next.... - Too much punch, kick. Noble flew off the top to the outside and landed on Chuck's bike, so Chuck tossed Noble into the ring and finished him off at 3:56. *. After the match, Chuck whipped Noble's ass. The only bad thing about this angle is that I don't necessarily buy Chuck as a guy who has the "whoop ass mentality." Chuck was going to run Noble over with his motorcycle, but he didn't. He should've. WWE did some positive stuff in China, because they have an office there. This was one of those, "we're a company who cares about the people" pieces. ___________________ The next match was a tag team match, featuring Jesse and Festus who were taking on Deuce & Domino w/Cherry. - Is Festus supposed to be a retard? Anyway, the ringbell rang and he went nuts. The match finished with after a flapjack variation by Festus at 4:00. 3/4*, that gimmick is AWFUL. ___________________ Edge has his interview segment up next, that being the CUTTING EDGE, and his guest is Vickie Guerrero. Edge says he has a surprise for her on Valentine's Day, but what he really wants is for Rey Mysterio to come out and apologize to her for accidentally giving her a 619 at the Rumble. Rey comes out, and tries to explain himself, but gets slapped twice by Vickie. Edge attacks Rey, and grabs two chairs from outside of the ring. Rey kicks one into his face, and gives him a 619. Edge goes out of the ring, but Rey jumps onto him, ending their little spat. Rey tells Vickie he's sorry, and leaves. ___________________ This new interviewer is with Edge, and asks him if he's going to propose to Vickie Guerrero next week. He says that it isn't any of her business. ___________________ Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang are set to take on the Edgeheads... - Just kill me now. I hate Yang's stupid dance. - At one moment, I thought Yang had hurt his wrist, but really, he just sold it very well. Curt Hawkins pinned Shannon Moore after a curtain call at 3:31. *1/4. Glad to see Moore and Yang lose. ___________________ Time for the main event, that being The Great Khali, MVP and Big Daddy V vs. Batista, the Undertaker, and Finlay. - There's a commercial break after the entrances, and when we come back,the match is on. I really want to know who thought it was a good idea to repeat booking on both brands. I also want to know if anyone thinks the Elimination Chamber with these six will be any good. - There's really no other way to put it, except that this is awful. You have two guys who only do good work with each other, and they're on the same team. You have two that cannot wrestle, one whose age is seemingly beginning to affect his in-ring work, and the last one is too small for his heat segment work with Taker to be believable. After 14:26 of DOGSHIT, Finlay hits Khali with the shillelagh, getting himself disqualified. The babyfaces tease dissension, and that ends the show. DUD. ___________________ First hour was good, second was probably the worst TV I've seen from WWE in the last month and a half. Show was TERRIBLE. Now that I've finally called a show terrible, I can explain how I rate shows like that. For PPV's, it takes two negative star matches, and nothing over ****. For TV shows, it takes nothing over *1/2, and at least one DUD, plus uninteresting angles, like the Edge/Vickie and Jesse/Festus stuff. Best segment was...Chuck Palumbo's beatdown of Jamie Noble, and the worst was easily the awful six man tag which ended the show. ___________________ The Savage and Liz Coliseum Video review will be up sometime tomorrow. I almost forgot. Entry #100. Yay.
  16. This is the first time I haven't really been too jazzed about watching RAW. It'll probably be crap. ___________________ From Austin, Texas, we have a contract signing, but we also have a John Cena vs. Mark Henry in an armwrestling contest later. Randy Orton wants John Cena to sign a contract so he can't back out of the match at No Way Out. Unless Orton attacks and bloodies him, I don't see the point of this. Cena gets a huge positive reaction when he makes his way out, and signs the contract. Mark Henry runs down to the ring to attack Cena, but Orton gives Cena an RKO first. Smart move. ___________________ We get a Steve Austin DVD promo next...I would've bought this a few years ago, but since then, I've only bought two or three wrestling DVD's, those being the Jake Roberts DVD, Bret Hart DVD and HBK DVD. I wanted to buy the World Class one, but didn't. Randy Orton's with Mark Henry, so Todd Grisham pops in for an interview bit. Orton justifies his actions, as we go to... ___________________ Kelly Kelly and Mickie James vs. Victoria and Beth Phoenix. - Uh, brand extension? I wouldn't say anything if it was ever attempted to justify why two non-RAW wrestlers were in the matches they're usually in. Say they were loaned to the show, or something. Mickie's almost as over as Trish was, if not more so. - Mickie pins Victoria after a tornado DDT at 2:42. Nothing spectacular. *1/4. William Regal is with Hornswoggle, and he thinks Hornswoggle should be proud of joining the "Kiss my Ass" club tonight. You know, because Regal's a member! ___________________ Shawn Michaels comes out for a promo, cause he's putting everyone who's going to be in the Elimination Chamber on notice. I saw that the entrance was on the right side of the screen as opposed to the left side this week, and the same goes for their new video wall. It's all in reverse. Why? Chris Jericho interrupts HBK, because he doesn't think he'll win the Elimination Chamber. Y2J will, but Jeff Hardy believes otherwise. He has the desire to be in the main event at WrestleMania, you see. JBL REALLY doesn't think so. He says that Texas is a pile of trash, and that's why he left. Mega heel heat for that. JBL says that he'll pay Umaga to protect him in the chamber. So, obviously, UMAGA makes his way to the ring, and quickly thereafter, comes Snitsky. Snitsky says that he should be allowed into the Elimination Chamber. Umaga can't speak English, so he didn't say anything. HBK says that Snitsky only deserves dental care, and now, they all brawl. At least, until William Regal comes out. It'll be Snitsky, JBL and UMANGA vs. HBK, Y2J and Jeff Hardy in a 6 man tag, later tonight. ___________________ Mr. Kennedy faces Super Crazy next... - I'm surprised that Super Crazy hasn't been released yet. I'm sure he will be soon. - Anyhow, there's very good psychology in this match. Kennedy applies a strange looking figure-four, and that gets Super Crazy to submit at 2:30. **. The microphone comes down, and we see a clip from MVP vs. Ric Flair on Smackdown last week. MVP got disqualified after not releasing a figure-four, so he attacked Flair after the match. He took Flair out, so to speak. Next week, Kennedy is going to give Flair a chance to forfeit their match at No Way Out. That won't happen. Mike Adamle is in the crowd, hyping No Way Out. He's been good with this. ___________________ It's Carlito and Santino Marella w/Maria vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick, now. - I'm starting to get sick of the same guys jobbing every week. It's very annoying. - Anyway, London chases Santino around the ring for more than half the match, and Carlito gives Kendrick a BACKSTABBER, which gets him the pinfall at 1:08. 1/2* I think that was the first time that Santino did something that was supposed to be funny and I didn't laugh. It was stupid. Vince McMahon is with a guy who's buffing his ass. What the fuck? ___________________ Let's get this over with quickly. Vince comes to the ring to talk about how all children should kiss their parents asses, literally. This was a great reason to flip the channel and never watch this show again, but I didn't change it. Should I have? Probably. Anyway, this segment was pretty disturbing. Hornswoggle comes out, and won't kiss Vince's ass. "My eyes!" Finlay comes to the ring, and Vince tells him that he's going to kiss his ass once Hornswoggle is done. Hornswoggle then bites Vince on the ass...isn't that worse than kissing it? Next week, it'll be Vince vs. Hornswoggle in a NO DQ match. And if Finlay interferes, HE'LL BE FIRED! I'm glad the crowd sat on their hands during that segment. It was terrible. ___________________ Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch faced Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (World Tag Team Champions) in a non-title match after that pile of junk segment, and... - I haven't seen the champions defend these titles once. That's pretty bad. - I don't hate Cody, but he's way too bland. He shouldn't even be on TV, yet. He DDT's Murdoch and picks up the win at 2:14. *. Carlito and Santino come out, because they're the new #1 contenders. That's all they had to say. The Divas did Project Runway, this show on Bravo where these wannabe fashion designers, design clothes, obviously. I've never watched it. ___________________ Here's our main event, UMAGA, Snitsky and JBL vs. Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho. - But for Snitsky, this could be very good. HBK gets a huge pop when they start the match, because this is Texas. I've noticed that JR has been a better announcer than when I quit watching a few years back. He doesn't bungle stuff nearly as often. - Before the commercial break, all three babyfaces plancha'd onto an opponent, in stereo. That was cool. The heat segment on Chris Jericho killed the match. I nearly fell asleep. Snitsky and Umaga just applied a hold and sat there during their respective stints in the ring. I absolutely CANNOT stand that. - The hot tag was made to Jeff Hardy, and then everyone hit a finisher, which ended with Jeff Hardy giving Snitsky the SWANTON BOMB at 15:12. Hot finish, hot start. Awful middle. I suppose I'll be kind and give it **1/4. ___________________ Candice Michelle returns to RAW soon, but I don't really care. John Cena is going to face Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match, because Cena is at 100%, you know. Honestly, this kind of stuff reminds me too much of the Scott Steiner/HHH feud that SHOOK THE FOUNDATIONS of RAW in early 2003. Anyway, nobody wins the arm wrestling contest, because we have interference! Randy Orton tries to attack Cena from behind, but he bails out when Cena begins to make a comeback. Mark Henry's in trouble, F-U, end show. ___________________ This was a bad show. Really bad. Best segment was the six man tag, which isn't to say much at all, and the worst was the ridiculousness of having an arm wrestling contest on a wrestling program. Just WRESTLE, why don't you. ___________________ Before RAW, I watched parts 3 and 4 of the Ladder Match DVD that's been posted on 24/7. Why put it after RAW, you ask? Because I can. I just rated and noticed a few things about the matches which took place on RAW. I had a lot going on Tuesday. The first one which took place on RAW was Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero for the Intercontinental Championship from 5/27/02. - The part where the fan ran into the ring was cut out, which sucked. I have this match on the Eddie DVD, so nothing really stood out to me on a whole that I hadn't noticed before. It isn't the best ladder match, but it's pretty damn good. RVD wins the match after 20 minutes, btw. ****. ___________________ The 2nd ladder match that took place on RAW was Jeff Hardy vs. the Undertaker for the Undisputed Title from 7/1/02. - I am and I probably always will be in favor of bringing back the Undisputed Title. With two World Titles, you kinda see a lot of the same things happen on each brand within a few months of each other. That's a problem. - This match was better than I remembered it, which isn't really to say a lot, because I was working my ass off in football and didn't really pay attention to wrestling at the time. A great job was done of building the crowd to believe that Jeff could really win the title. Taker did great, and Jeff did great. Obviously Taker won, at 14:05. ***3/4. ___________________ The last match in these two parts which took place on RAW was Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Bubba Ray and Spike Dudley vs. RVD and Jeff Hardy vs. Kane in TLC match for the World Tag Team Titles from 10/7/02. - Hurricane was gone, after being attacked by Ric Flair and HHH before the match. - IMO, this match is better than all the other TLC matches. Hands down. I take back what I said about TLC 1 being the best. The flow was better. The spots were better, and you don't necessarily need tons and tons of falls off the top of ladders through tables to make a match great. This one was really, really fun. Plus, my cousin thought it was the best match he'd seen. So there. *****. Next time I see this one, I'll give it the full review it deserves. Outstanding. ___________________ Now, we have WWECW, from Corpus Christi, TX. This show was a pile of shit, so my notes are VERY short. I was thoroughly bored. ___________________ CM Punk came to the ring, and showed us video from last week where he attacked Chavo Guerrero during a fiesta to celebrate his championship win in the previous week. Chavo comes to the ring, and says that Punk insulted his heritage. Armando Estrada is outside of the building, and says that these two will fight each other in a Gulf of Mexico match. To win, you have to throw your opponent into the water. WOW. We have WrestleCrap occuring right before our eyes, between two wrestlers I like. This is embarassing. At No Way Out, Punk gets a title shot, so it's all good. ___________________ Our first match is Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool vs. Victoria and Layla. - This was not very good. At least someone who knows how to wrestle won, that being Victoria, after she gave Kelly Kelly the Widow's Peak at 2:42. 1/4*. Kane faces Shelton Benjamin on Smackdown this week...hey, now I'm definitely going to watch the show. Seriously. ___________________ John Morrison w/The Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer w/Collin Delaney was our first singles match on the night... - Last week, Delaney was beaten by Morrison and the Miz in a handicap match. Tommy Dreamer went out to help after the match, so here we are. I suppose Dreamer is his protector. - Morrison tried to do a sky twister press and nearly landed on his head. Save that for the smaller guys, me thinks. Miz became a punching bag for Dreamer later in the match, but it also allowed Morrison to hit Dreamer with a neckbreaker variation for the win, so it worked. Didn't get the time. *3/4. Stevie Richards had a sitdown interview with Joey Styles, hopefully he'll be back soon. The brand could use him. ___________________ Kofi Kingston faces James Curtis next... - This wasn't very good either. Kingston won with his kick, and my time disappeared. Needless to say, I wasn't about to go find it. DUD. ___________________ Here's the Gulf of Mexico match, between CM Punk and Chavo Guerrero. - I thought these two should have an Extreme Rules match, but not like this. Dusty's hand is all over this show. They brawled out of the arena, and tossed each other onto cars. I liked it. - The concept is definitely WrestleCrap, but the actual match wasn't, at all. Punk GTS'd Chavo into the Gulf at 7:12. **1/4. Good match, and end show. ___________________ The show as a whole was a pile of shit. There were decent matches, but it was so uninteresting. I'll call it bad, best segment was the Gulf of Mexico match and the worst was Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis. Kingston has not been good thus far. ___________________ Next column will have the Boston show from 9/6/86 (I already took notes, so I'm not backing out), original ECW, and Friday Night Smackdown. Should be up on Saturday. The Savage and Liz Coliseum Video is going to get a review all on its own, which should be up on Sunday, I think. I have this planned out well, for once.
  17. I didn't watch ECW, and after reading the results, I'm not going to track it down. While I understand that Shelton Benjamin wouldn't have gone over Kane after getting the better of him, why book that match in the first place then? A countout just leaves everyone looking stupid. ___________________ First, we have Nitro from Nashville, Tennessee, which took place on 5/26/97. Here comes the NWO at the beginning of the show...but really, just Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff. I had a feeling at this point that these assholes in the front row with their signs would obstruct my view for the whole show, but they didn't. Hogan talks about hangin' with Nasty Nick and Brooke in the Bahamas (yes, I laughed), and how Sting's gonna be snapped in half tonight, brah. He wants Sting out now, of course, Sting does not comply. This feels like a huge show. ___________________ Our first match on the night fits with the huge show thing, given that this is Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo and Hector Garza vs. LA PARKA, Ciclope and Damien. - It was heatless, until Calo practically flew over his opponent when diving out of the ring onto him, landing in the crowd. Back leg front kicks are abound in this match...why does Tony call them that? - Garza corkscrew plancha's onto everyone, then powerbombs Ciclope in the ring, and pins him after a standing moonsault for the three count at 6:26. **3/4. Very fun, very good. ___________________ We went to a commercial, and came back right as Alex Wright vs. Psychosis was starting. - Alex Wright, hell yes! I thought the Nick Patrick reinstatement angle would rear its ugly head in this, but I was wrong. That's good. - We get...the DANCE!!!! Wright does it a whole bunch, but Psychosis kicks his ass. Psychosis pins Wright after a guillotine legdrop from the top, for 3 at 4:07. *3/4, cause Psychosis kinda blew a plancha, and barely touched Wright with it. Mean Gene is with Sonny Onoo, who says that Masa Chono is gonna get some tonight. Onoo makes some sort of deal with Psychosis, and there's Madusa. Kinda saw that coming. She wants a shot at Akira Hokuto, and says she'll do anything. Onoo excepts, and if Madusa loses at the Great American Bash, she has to retire. Nobody cared. ___________________ The next match is Mark Starr vs. Wrath w/Mortis and James Vandenberg. - This'll be very short, as the announcers put over Wrath's karate background. I really don't know what to say about that. Mortis is on guard duty to keep Glacier away, and when Starr is tossed out of the ring, Mortis goes to work on him. Wrath squashes Starr, and finishes things up with the DEATH PENALTY at 2:34. *1/2. While this Mortis/Wrath/Glacier/Ernest Miller stuff is really stupid, I like it. ___________________ Back from the break, with Villano IV vs. Konnan. - Apparently, Konnan turned on Hugh Morrus at Slamboree. Good. - This isn't a squash, thankfully. Morrus tries to attack Konnan, but Doug Dillinger and his great security team prevent him from getting to the ring. Meanwhile, Konnan puts Villano IV in the TEQUILA SUNRISE, which gets the submission victory at 3:10. *1/4. Mean Gene comes in to ask a few questions to Konnan, who says he's for la raza. Forget Kevin Sullivan and Morrus. ___________________ Here's Onoo, and his surprise for tonight's match against Chono is...THE GREAT MUTA. - Thought so. Chono's NWO, see. We get 2:12 of nothing, and during a headlock, Muta releases the hold and RED MISTS Onoo in the face, at 3:03. So, Muta's NWO 4 LIFE. Can't really rate that. ___________________ It's HOUR #2, and Bobby Heenan's wearing a pajama shirt while on commentary. We have a paid announcement by the NWO, with MACHO MADNESS, YEAHHHH! He's talking about the Great American Bash. DDP and Kimberly make their way to Mean Gene, as I suddenly notice that there's been a red carpet laid down the aisle. Is this just for them, or has it been there? I'll have to check. It's only a typical DDP promo, but Savage doesn't come down and interfere this time. Ok, the Red Carpet wasn't there all along, but someone got lazy and left it there for the rest of the show. Typical WCW. ___________________ The first match of Hour #2 is the Barbarian w/Jimmy Hart vs. Jim Powers w/Teddy Long. - So, I see that Powers stayed roided up after the 80's were long gone. I had absolutely no interest in this, and neither did the crowd. I suppose it's good that a big boot by the Barbarian ended things for Powers at 3:18. DUD. ___________________ Our next match is a three-on-one handicap match, with Johnny Swinger, Jerry Flynn and Rick Fuller taking on the Giant w/Lex Luger. - The Incredible Hulk Giant doesn't have any music. Ok. I thought these would be three local jobbers, but they aren't, at all. Their triple team does nothing to the Giant, so he CHOKESLAMS all of them and pins Swinger and Flynn at 2:16. *. Cool squash. Mean Gene comes out, to talk with Luger and the Giant. See, Hogan and Dennis Rodman have this open contract for a tag match at Bash at the Beach '97. Luger and the Giant want to sign that contract. On the Road with Lee Marshall in Dayton, Ohio is a sure FF... ___________________ Here comes...SYXX. He's talking about Flair, and we see video of what happened last week. A town killer for sure, given that it happened in North Carolina. Here come the Outsiders, but no hey, yo treatment here. They want to give Piper and Flair a chance at their tag team titles. They'll retire Flair, this is NWO TERRITORY, NWO 4 LIFE, 2 SWEEEEET and all that. ___________________ Our main event is Jeff Jarrett and Mongo w/Debra vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri. - A few weeks ago, this match was supposed to happen, but it was Jarrett for pretty much the duration. And it sucked. Let me tell you, this is just as exciting. - WCW is coming to LA and Detroit. Yay! Mongo runs over to Greene at way too late a point in the match for this to still be going, and they brawl to the back. Booker comes in, and gives Jarrett a HARLEM SIDEKICK, getting Harlem Heat the win at 10:13. 1/2*. Really, really bad, with no commercials to spare me from the action. ___________________ It's the same two as earlier, Hogan and Bischoff. The NWO Belt is on the line, if only Sting would come out here. They can't find Sting, because...HE'S UNDER THE RING. IT'S STING! Oh, wait a sec. Hogan asks Sting to get on his knees, and Sting does. IT'S FAKE STING! Fake Sting is on his knees, worshipping the ground that Hogan spits on. Figures. He says he wishes he could be Hollywood and... IT'S STING! From out of the rafters he comes, and gives Bischoff a SCORPION DEATHDROP! Hogan sees him, and he's scared shitless. He falls over Fake Sting, and runs back to the entrance. Sting beats on the fake with a bat, and here comes the cavalry, meaning the entire NWO. Sting reattaches his hook, and rides back toward the ceiling, so that the NWO can't get to him, ending the show. ___________________ Nitro was a pile of poop, for the most part. Poor show, outside of the opening and end. Best segment was obviously the ending, and the worst was Barbarian vs. Powers. At least the Mongo stuff had some sort of angle going on, and the Jarrett/Mongo tension. ___________________ RAW, from the same night, in Evansville, Indiana is next. Unfortunately, Vince McMahon is on commentary. Boo. Here comes STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD and Shawn Michaels to talk with Jim Ross. Austin says he's the captain of this team, and LOD come to the ring. They want a title shot on RAW next week if the first mentioned team win their match against Owen Hart and the British Bulldog tonight. The challengers say sure, and then, Austin and HBK argue even more. ___________________ Our first match, is Brian Pillman and Jim Neidhart w/the rest of the Hart Foundation vs. LOD. - The Hart Foundation stays at the top of the stage, like they always do. - Seeing as Pillman's a loose cannon, he gets beat up the whole time. That makes sense. LOD's going to give Pillman the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, so the Hart Foundation runs in and prevents that from taking place at 4:26, getting Pillman and Neidhart DQ'd. *1/4. HBK and Austin go to help LOD, but Shawn accidentally baseball slides into Austin, while the Harts bail out. So, HBK and Austin brawl. Good post match, as I expected. Paul Bearer's backstage, and Taker better do as he says! ___________________ D'Lo Brown is making his RAW wrestling debut against Bob Holly now, as the Nation goes back to, well, the back. - Faarooq stays around, for commentary. The match is essentially Holly getting squashed, which is to say it's nothing special at all. D'Lo powerbombs Holly, and pins him at 3:10. *1/2. Taker's in the back, talking about how tough it is to make the decision he'll have to make later. Then Jerry Lawler cuts a promo on Goldust, in which he calls him a flaming fag for his usual in-ring antics. That was great. ___________________ So, yeah, Jerry Lawler is facing Goldust w/Marlena in a King of the Ring First Round match. - Lawler gets a gigantic pop, obviously because Evansville was a regular Memphis stop. His piledriver didn't finish the match, so that sucked. Still, the Lawler chant is great. - Marlena slapping Lawler was funny, as was him pinning Goldust with his feet on the ropes at 5:10 to win a very good match. **1/4. Goldust attacks Lawler after the match, and gets decent heel heat. Steve Austin's in the lockerroom, where the Hart Foundation jumps him. Ha. We go to a commercial, and the same happened to HBK, as Austin goes into his lockerroom to find out why Shawn didn't have his back. ___________________ Flash Funk vs. Rocky Maivia is our next match. - So, a face vs. face match. Sure thing that a heel runs in. - And here we are, the Headbangers have come ringside for a party. They're not really heels, but they'll interfere. They do, when both men go outside the ring. What the fuck? Mosh hits Flash Funk with a boombox, and tosses him back in, where Rocky gives him a crossbody off the top for a 3 count at 3:35. *3/4. Funk and Rocky shake hands after the match, to show that there aren't any hard feelings. What's up with that Headbanger nonsense? Bret Hart's on the TitanTron, and says he'll definitely be able to beat Shawn Michaels in 10 minutes. Pillman's supposed to face Austin at the King of the Ring too, but obviously, things changed. And you'll find out how, later. ___________________ Welcome to the Warzone, where guys like Ahmed Johnson and Vader do battle. - Ken Shamrock's on commentary during this match. You know, his entrance music changes every week, at this point. Ahmed isn't getting crowd reactions like earlier in the year, so this isn't what it would've been in, say, February. - There's a UFC ad in here, which ties into the match because Vader and Ahmed are doing this gay ass faux MMA striking shit. It looks like two retards are fighting each other. Ahmed gives Vader a spinebuster, which gains the pinfall for him at 3:05. Kinda outta nowhere. 3/4*. Paul Bearer is going to come out at the end of the show, so Taker better decide quickly! ___________________ HHH w/Chyna is facing Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man now.... - It's weird to see a face v. face and a heel v. heel match on the same show. Given the participants in this match, there's an obvious connection here. Funny how things work out. Honky was going to hit HHH in the head with his guitar, but Chyna prevents that and bodyslams Honky, and HHH gives Rockabilly the PEDIGREE for the pinfall at 3:17. *1/4. ___________________ Mankind interview part #2...features a lot of great footage, but you just have to find it. I can't really cover everything he says. Loved it, though. ___________________ Up next is what we've all been waiting for, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart & the British Bulldog for the WWF Tag Team Championships. Blow-by-blow: This was of importance, see. The video's messed up a little, for some reason, but the audio isn't. And Vince says that Austin's going to open a can of whoop-ass. Shawn pescado's his way onto Bulldog during the champions ring entrance, which is when I started timing. The bell rings a bit after, when they get in the ring. Austin knees and elbowdrops Owen three times, before going for the SHARPSHOOTER. Bulldog keeps that from happening, and Austin goes to the 2nd, giving Owen another elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Shawn tags in, and goes up top, giving Owen an axhandle on the way down. He goes to punch Bulldog and grabs onto Owen's arm, but Owen reverses the hold and gouges Shawn in the eye. Bulldog tags in and shoulderblocks Shawn, but Shawn pokes him in the eye when he tries again, and gives Bulldog a hurricanrana. He beats on the champions, and gives Bulldog an enziguri for 2. Austin tags in, and kicks Bulldog right in the nuts as the ref is distracted. Austin tags Shawn in after choking Bulldog, but he tags right back in after about 2 seconds. Austin armwrings Bulldog, but Owen comes in to stop that, and after a Bulldog clothesline, Owen gets tagged in. He dumps Austin to the outside, and drops him throat-first along the guardrail. The rest of the Hart Foundation, save Bret, comes closer to the ring, and we go to a COMMERCIAL BREAK. Owen has Austin in a chinlock when we come back, which will end all ***** talk if there's another. Austin powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries to do it again, Owen puts him in a sleeper. Austin gives him a jawbreaker, and here comes Shawn and Bulldog. Shawn gives Bulldog the flying forearm and kips up, before giving Bulldog a dropkick. Shawn runs the ropes again, but Bulldog has him up in gorilla press position, where he THROWS Shawn nut first into the top rope. Holy fuck, I bet that hurt. Owen slams Shawn into the post, and brings him back in afterward, where Bulldog pokes him in the eye. Bulldog slingshots Shawn into a turnbuckle for 2, and whips him into another turnbuckle where Shawn goes upside down. Bulldog then picks Shawn up, and gives him a running powerslam for 2, as Austin breaks the cover. Owen switches in, adn gives Shawn a gutwrench suplex and legdrop for 2. Owen goes to a chinlock, and *****'s are gone. Shawn powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries it again he's given a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Shawn gives Owen a sunset flip, but the referee is distracted, so it only gets a 2 count. Bulldog comes in with a clothesline, and a legdrop for a 2 count, prior to applying a front facelock. Owen comes in during a fake tag in which Austin distracts the official, and places Shawn on the top rope. Shawn knocks Owen off, and gives him a crossbody, which only gets a 2 count. When Owen gets up, he quickly gives Shawn a spinning heel kick, but misses a charge at Shawn, which gives him the opportunity to tag Austin. When Austin gets in, he cleans house. HOUSE. He tries to give Bulldog a STUNNER after the beatdowns, but Owen prevents that from happening. Shawn hops in and gives Bulldog SWEET CHIN MUSIC, which allows Austin to cover Bulldog at 10:28, for the Tag Titles. New champions! The Harts run into the ring and jump Shawn, but Bret's still at the top of the stage. Austin pretty much says, "forget Shawn, cause he didn't help me earlier," so he goes and attacks Bret's knee. He pounds on it, until the cavalry arrives to help Bret, not even thinking about following Austin to the back. So, now you know how they got out of Bret vs. Shawn at King of the Ring. Match Analysis: That was one of the most action packed matches I've ever seen. The action was so fast that my hand started hurting, and that hasn't happened to me yet since I've been writing. Anyway, ****1/2. 1/4 off for the two chinlocks, and 1/4 off for the finish that came a little too quick after the hot tag for my taste. Still, you must watch this match. Great booking, great pace, great wrestling. Great everything. ___________________ After, Austin tells the video camera that he did this all by himself, and when HBK comes in, they argue. Winning titles didn't change a thing. Paul Bearer's finally in the ring, with Vince McMahon. Taker's time is up, so he's talking. He tells the crowd that when Taker's parents died, there were three graves. And that's enough to bring Taker to the ring, in a hurry. Taker hates Bearer, and says that Bearer won't be able to talk once he's done with him. But that said, he has to kneel before Bearer and do exactly what Bearer wants. End show. Hmm... ___________________ This was one of the best RAW's I've ever seen. Excellent is the rating you receive. Best segment was that amazing tag team match, and the worst was Ahmed/Vader. I hated it. RAW was, needless to say, way better. My Clash I review will be up on Friday or Saturday, depends on how much typing time I have tonight and early tomorrow.
  18. The column got pushed back a day because I ordered the Rumble. No biggie, right? ___________________ I'm going to copy my notes for Smackdown, seeing as the Rumble changed a ton of things. This is from Charlottesville, VA, just like ECW was. Rey Mysterio faced the Edgeheads in a handicap match... - Rey's new entrance setup rocks it. This is one of those "I tag you" handicap matches, which I really don't care for. - Curt Hawkins comes in at 6:13 and hits Rey with a chair, giving Rey the win via DQ. Rey dropkicks the chair into his face, and forces the heels to scatter. *3/4. Not half bad. Some dude named Jesse is talking about how some dude named Festus is being fixed. Needless to say, I've never seen those two in my life. ___________________ Next up is a match between Jimmy Wang Yang w/Shannon Moore vs. Domino w/Deuce and Cherry. - Yang's gimmick is really starting to wear on me. I hate his stupid music, and I hate his stupid dance. - Yang pins Domino with a moonsault block at 5:24. I don't really like the way he does the move, either. *1/4. Backstage, Jamie Noble and Chuck Palumbo argue for a bit, until Michelle McCool comes into the picture. Then they stop, because they're in a match...NEXT. ___________________ So yeah, Chuck Palumbo, Jamie Noble, and Michelle McCool are facing John Morrison, the Miz, and Layla. - We'll talk about the angle at the end of the match. At around 1:40, Palumbo and Noble argued with each other, and Palumbo pushed Noble into McCool, who was on the ring apron. Then Palumbo assaulted Noble, and pushed McCool onto the ground when she tried to stop him. Hey, Palumbo got booed, so it worked. ___________________ MVP comes to the ring, because he has something to share with us. That something is a bunch of photoshopped pictures, mostly making fun of Flair. I thought the shuffleboard one was funny, as was the one where Flair was wearing the Jack Nicklaus Golden Bear hat. So, Ric Flair comes out, and says he'll beat MVP at the Rumble (which he did). ___________________ Our next match is a Belfast Brawl, obviously Finlay w/Hornswoggle facing the Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh. The rules were never explained. - Khali tried to put Hornswoggle through the annonce table, so Finlay grabs the shillelagh and beats Khali to a bloody pulp. The match just stops at 4:50. Lame. *. Khali's been booked to look super weak lately. ___________________ Vince McMahon is with Finlay, but he only wants to talk to his son. Batista comes to the ring, and talks. He's putting everyone on notice for the Rumble. Backstage, Noble encountered Michelle McCool as she was being stretchered out of the building, and he tells her that he'll get Palumbo. Ok. ___________________ Now we have our semi-main event, featuring the Undertaker, who's taking on Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker. - This is going to be bad, if their matches in the past are any indication. By that, I'm talking nearly 10 years ago. It's actually scary how small V makes Taker look. - Taker slaps on a gogoplata at 6:12, causing V to tap out. The finish looked so contrived, you just have to see it. Plus, V bit the blood capsule. 3/4*. Mark Henry comes to the ring, screaming at Taker that he "went too far." The fuck is that supposed to mean? ___________________ The last match is CM Punk vs. Edge w/the Edgeheads in a non-title bout. - Rey Mysterio is on commentary. Why they're doing this now, I have no idea. But I'm not booking this show. That said, Punk losing now is better than him challenging and losing later. - Punk botched his springboard clothesline pretty bad. Up to that point, the match was going really well. Punk avoids an Edge charge to the corner, but Edge comes right back out with the SPEAR to finish at 7:50 (shown). **. Rey runs in to be by Punk's side after the match, and that's the show. ___________________ Looking back, given the MSG crowd on Sunday, Rey should never have been in the title match. That's hindsight, for ya. Show was poor, best segment was Palumbo beating down Noble, and the worst was Finlay/Khali. I enjoyed that one the least. Smackdown is easily the most boring of the three shows, IMO. That's not to say it's the worst, because it isn't. ___________________ The MSG show was good, but I didn't finish it. I liked Bret Hart's debut more than anything else. ___________________ The typical crowd here in Philly boos John Cena. This, of course, is RAW. Cena talks about his injury, and how life wasn't the same. Well, duh. He wants to face Orton ASAP, meaning tonight. Orton comes out and says no, he'll only fight Cena if people are paying for it. That means they'll have a match at No Way Out. Cena still says that he'll find a way to get Orton tonight. ___________________ Our first match was Ashley and Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall and Beth Phoenix. - Lillian Garcia messed up Beth's entrance pretty bad. Anyway, Mickie is the only thing good about this match. Of course, Beth pins her with the fisherman buster at 2:52. 3/4*. Ashley just stood on the apron watching, seeing as Hall was way late in coming over to grab her leg. So, it looked really bad. ___________________ Vince McMahon is with William Regal, who has an idea for No Way Out. Vince wants him to share it with the public, after the commercial. A video after the commercial tells me that the Steve Austin DVD is coming out soon... And then, Regal comes to the stage, blubbering through his announcement. It's for the Elimination Chamber, where the winner goes on to face the winner of Cena/Orton at WrestleMania. We watch a video of past Elimination Chambers, but none of the footage is from the ECW version. Our participants in this are...UMANGA, HBK, Chris Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy, and Triple Haitch. Mike Adamle talks about our later matches, which are Snitsky and UMAGA vs. HHH and a partner of his choice, and JBL/Orton vs. Jericho/Jeff Hardy. Much better this time, as opposed to the Rumble when he Regal'd his way through the entire night. ___________________ The second match on the night is Cody Rhodes w/Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito w/Santino Marella and Maria. - At the Rumble, Carlito spit on Rhodes' face. So, we have this. - Cody's punches look really stiff. That said, he punches away a bit too often, so when Santino distracts him, it's easy for Carlito to give him the BACKSTABBER, for the pinfall at 3:05. *. ___________________ HHH is with Shawn Michaels in the lockerroom, and we know that at No Way Out, both guys will need to do what it takes to get that title shot. But right now, HHH needs a partner for his match. So...Shawn accepts, then jumps out of the picture, and comes back in with new, DX merchandise on. I like this whole thing with Shawn and his merchandise. UFC promo for Mir vs. Lesnar. Really looking forward to watching Brock eat fists there. Last in this run of segments, is some filming for Candice Michelle's Godaddy.com Super Bowl commercial. ___________________ Like, I said, it's a DX night, as they'll face UMAGA and Snitsky. - I think I'm one of the few smarks that get enjoyment out of the DX thing. I love nostalgia. HHH talks about Buffer's gimmick infringement at the Rumble. I let out a small laugh for that. - And with their whole entrance thing, I almost forgot there's a match. HHH grabs a mic and asks if anyone has a toothbrush. You know, cause Snitsky's in the ring. The "BRUSH YOUR TEETH" chant gets going, and I laugh. Every arena should chant that during Snitsky's matches. I think it's funny how I said last week that these were the only two guys left to squash that white kid on ECW, and now they're tagging up with each other. - HBK is your face in peril, but thankfully, there's a commercial. Snitsky's shitty bearhug generally ruins matches, and this is no exception. HHH tags in, Umaga receives SWEET CHIN MUSIC from Shawn, and HHH gives Snitsky the PEDIGREE for the pinfall, at 12:13. Who knows why the match was of that length, *3/4. ___________________ Randy Orton's in the back with JBL, and Orton wants to know that JBL will have his back if Cena shows up. JBL says, sure. Todd Grisham's with Jeff Hardy, who says nothing of note. And Vince is with Hornswoggle now. Vince is disappointed, damnit. Get the hell out of this room right now. ___________________ The next match is Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick. Hey, at least we're getting a bunch of matches tonight. - Kendrick ran right into the ring and slapped Kennedy. That was funny. Unfortunately, he gets squashed and finished off with the MIC CHECK, for 3 at 1:59. Now, the mike comes down. Kennedy didn't want in the Elimination Chamber, he wanted to retire Ric Flair. I like this idea. He's not going to be the guy to retire Flair, but he's well perceived enough by the fans so that Flair can go over him and continue to get stronger, prior to his retirement. Flair comes out, and has two things to say. First, good luck. Second, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So, they'll have a match at No Way Out. ___________________ We go right into another match, this being Melina vs. Maria w/Santino Marella. - Santino dissin' Melina on the way to the ring is hilarious. That said, he wouldn't be nearly as funny (or not funny at all) if he didn't have the accent. - This match was horrid. Melina went to roll-up Maria, but pulled her pants down, revealing Maria's underwear. So, Maria got the pin at 2:something. I lost the time. Santino runs into the ring and covers Maria up, and says, "damn you Japanese for your high definition technology." Then he says that JR had erected a monument in his trousers. But a small monument, see. Funny stuff. DUD. Todd Grisham is with Y2J in the back, and what happened at the Rumble (he hung JBL) is the new him...and he likes that. Mike Adamle then previews No Way Out, prior to... ___________________ Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho vs. JBL and Randy Orton. - Looking like this match could be long. And good. - Jeff Hardy gave Orton a SWANTON really early, but JBL prevented that from being the end of the match. We go to the break, and come back, as Orton doesn't have Hardy in a chinlock. Thankfully. JBL and Jericho's brawling sequences are rough. They stiff the hell out of each other. Hardy crashes and burns outside, and Y2J has JBL trapped in the WALLS OF JERICHO. Orton comes in and gives Jericho an RKO, which gets his team the 3 count at 10:58. **1/2, good TV stuff. John Cena comes out, presumably to have a go at Orton. JBL ducks out under the bottom rope, and we're one-on-one. Cena kicks Orton's ass, and finishes that off with the F-U. Not a single RAW this year has left Orton in a favorable position at the end of the show. That's really weird booking. ___________________ The show was, uh, good. Barely good. The best segment was the tag match at the end between JBL/Orton and Hardy/Jericho, and the worst was probably the actual Melina/Maria match. I don't know what'll be on my next column, other than ECW from today. I might even review Clash I before I put that up, I don't know. No promises.
  19. This is just a RAW and ECW column. So, you've been warned. RAW is from Hampton, VA. ___________________ The new video wall is Fantastic. I purposefully capitalized that. And our first match is Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy. - Kennedy hasn't been doing his entrance with the microphone recently. I wonder why? I watched the whole show much later than when it occured, so times are going to be there, and sometimes not there. - When Kennedy couldn't bridge out of the pinning move into a backslide, I thought that was great, as was HBK's somersault pescado. I loved the finish, which constituted HBK going for that reverse figure-four, and getting kicked off. Then HBK kipped up, and hit Kennedy with SWEET CHIN MUSIC at 11:57 (shown) for the victory. ***. This was probably as good as a match between these two could get. Randy Orton's with Vince McMahon, who's giving him reasons to shake hands with Jeff Hardy tonight, cause they're supposed to shake hands and all. ___________________ The next match was Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women's Title. - Beth finishes with a fisherman's buster at 3:42. I didn't really care, *1/2. ___________________ Todd Grisham is with HHH, who talks about Vince in HD. Mostly about how old he's gonna look, and then, he talks about the Rumble. After, Brian Kendrick is with Cody Rhodes. Kendrick has to qualify for the Rumble tonight, and Hardcore Holly comes bustin' in, talking about how he'll get rid of anyone, including Rhodes, to win the Royal Rumble. ___________________ So, the next match is the Highlanders vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle. - What are the Highlanders, super jobbers? Anyway, Hornswoggle gets the pin after a frog splash. *. And now Chris Jericho comes out, with great pyro, to talk about JBL. He says he'll fight him, to little fanfare. His return has been a disaster. Vince is now with Jeff Hardy, telling him to never risk someone's life like he did last week. ___________________ Brian Kendrick's Royal Rumble Qualifying Match is against.....UMAGA. Harharhar. - Yes, I really laughed when I heard William Regal announce that Kendrick was facing UMAGA. This was a super squash, ending with the SAMOAN SPIKE at 2:20. **. ___________________ Mickie James is backstage with Maria, and sad that she can't beat Phoenix. She leaves, and Ashley comes into the picture, talking about a party at the Playboy Mansion. And then, Santino Marella came in and said something so funny that I didn't even write it down. And why is Big Pussy on Celebrity Apprentice? ___________________ Hardcore Holly w/Cody Rhodes is facing Carlito w/Maria and Santino in a singles match, now. - Why did Carlito stick around, again? He's been buried so far down on the card that he'll be a Heat regular by WrestleMania. I don't have HD, but even I can see how old Holly's looking. Santino distracts Holly during an Alabama Slam attempt, so Carlito gives him a BACKSTABBER for the win at 3:11. That's one of my favorite finishing moves, but the match was a mess. 1/2*. ___________________ Now, we have HHH's match vs. a mystery opponent. His new entrance setup is the best of all of them. No time, given that I'm watching this via...nefarious means. It's a over-the-top gauntlet match, and his first opponent is Snitsky. Once this was announced as a gauntlet, I knew he'd be in it. What a terrible payoff to a terrible angle. Why'd I expect more? Moving on, HHH throws Snitsky out. And HHH's second opponent is Mark Henry. Uh, brand extension? Henry charges at HHH after a while, but HHH pulls down the top rope, eliminating him. Last is...an IRATE William Regal, who gets destroyed by HHH and tossed out. I guess this whole angle was just for the sole purpose of HHH putting himself over three guys. 1/2*. ___________________ The last segment on this show was the scheduled handshake between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. Orton says that he respects Hardy, but Hardy says the exact opposite. He says that there's a lot of people whose hands he'll shake before Orton's. First, Jim Ross, second, Jerry Lawler, and third, Lillian Garcia. Then Hardy goes into the crowd, and shakes a bunch of people's hands. When Hardy gets back in the ring, he gives Orton a TWIST OF FATE. Well, Orton's definitely going over, because Hardy's had the better of him the last two weeks. If Hardy won, Orton would look awful. ___________________ Show was...decent, the best segment was HBK/Kennedy, and the worst was that HHH gauntlet trash. ___________________ Last night, I watched ECW, from, well, 1/21/08. This show took place at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. I like that all the shows use the same set, it makes things look, uh, more important. The first contest was an Over the Top Rope Challenge, between Kane, The Miz, John Morrison, Tommy Dreamer, and Shelton Benjamin. - Well, I know who's winning this. Dreamer's looking fat, which bothers me. I don't like seeing guys I grew up watching age. Order of Elimination: Dreamer by Kane at 1:00, Miz and Morrison by Kane and Shelton at 2:58, and Kane by Shelton at 3:01. Shelton skinned the cat and headscissored Kane out, to win. Cool. I was wrong. And THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NUUUHHH. Kinda hard to rate that, but I'll go a bit less than **, with a *3/4. ___________________ We get that Best Body Contest I was awaiting so much...at least they did it when I had to use the restroom. I missed most of it, but I saw Coach dancing to the music as I went out. And Kelly Kelly won. Wow. There are nowhere near as many kids in the crowd this week, it feels like RAW. ___________________ Next was Kofi Kingston's debut, against a jobber named David Owen. Kofi's tracksuit is cool. - That jobber did everything in his power to make Kingston look like shit. He succeeded. Kofi hits him with a really bad looking kick (because his opponent was standing so close to him) at 3:15 for the pinfall. DUD. That was not good. Edge is with Chavo Guerrero in the back, because Chavo gets his title shot tonight. Soon Vickie Guerrero comes into the picture, cause it's Chavo's night. After, we get a GREAT Royal Rumble video, with facts and figures about the match. That may have been the best part of the show, thus far. ___________________ The white kid is with Tazz again. He's facing the GREAT KHALI this week. About time. Khali gives him the HEAD CRUSH, for the win at 0:37. It's not getting so old, I suppose, but there aren't many other guys to feed him to. Umaga and Snitsky...that's about it, I think. *. ___________________ And now, we have Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk in a...NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH for the ECW Championship. Well, that stipulation was a surprise, but not really. - Edge is on commentary. I know where this is going. And I don't like it at all. Punk tries to get rough first, by pulling the turnbuckle pad off, although nothing comes of it...yet. - The crowd is a little mild, but this time, Chavo gets heat. Punk drops Chavo on the exposed turnbuckle, and gives Chavo the GTS. Edge runs into the ring (fuck, not this shit) and gives Punk a SPEAR, which after a LONG period of Chavo lying around, gets Chavo the 3 count and ECW Title at 7:05. Oh, fuck that. *1/2. Well, there's no reason to watch this show anymore, but I will anyway. The Edgeheads bring Vickie down, and they all celebrate. Could they have made Chavo look worse? I'm glad Chavo got a push, but this is more like a bump. He hasn't done anything noteable at all. Awful. Awful. Awful. This match was MUCH worse than their others, as well, *1/2. Hopefully they bump this show up to being taped before Smackdown, because I can't see the people staying in the building to watch Chavo freakin' Guerrero. Just my .02. Nothing good can come of this for Punk, because he's not going to be put over Edge in the LEAST. ___________________ Show was BAD, best segment was...Shelton winning the Over the Top Rope Challenge, and the worst was obviously that AWFUL title change. Horrid booking. I'll have a CYBER SUNDAY review up on Friday. Or not until Saturday or Sunday. Haven't made up my mind.
  20. First, we have Smackdown. It's from Birmingham, Alabama. I forgot that I don't write about Prime Time or NWA, so this is going to be short. I liked when Heenan gave the camera the finger while naming off the people who won't manage Bam Bam. The rest wasn't so great. ___________________ We flashback to the Rumble last year, where the Undertaker won. Thus, the Undertaker comes down to the ring. He's issuing a warning to the rest of the Rumble participants, that they'll REST IN PEACE. So, here comes Big Daddy V and Matt Striker. Striker talks, so Big Daddy comes to the ring, to fight the Undertaker. V gets beat up, so that's that. ___________________ Tonight, we'll have CM Punk and Rey Mysterio vs. Edge and Chavo Guerrero. But right now, we have Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh. - Khali always makes me laugh. That good, or bad? Anyway, Hornwoggle hits Singh, so Singh chases Hornswoggle until Finlay gets in the way. I fuckin' hate how WWE goes to commercial at the beginning of a match, now. - It's too easy for kids to like Finlay, just because of Hornswoggle. Unfortunately, that takes a lot of the edge out of his character. At the end of the match, Hornswoggle interfered so that Finlay could lowblow Khali. Then they beat up Singh, who took Finlay's shillelagh and threw it down the aisle. Khali then holds onto Hornswoggle until Finlay comes close, and applies the HEAD CRUSH on Finlay, getting the submission at 11:03. This was far better than I expected, *3/4. After the match, Edge and Vickie Guerrero are in the back. She calls Edge a good father figure, as Teddy Long stands there, like an invalid. Why the hell does he just stand there all the time? Chavo comes in, and says he's sorry for calling Edge and Vickie embarassments. He thinks Edge is a good guy. ___________________ Our next match is a tag team contest, it's Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore vs. Deuce and Domino w/Cherry. - Deuce and Domino had me tuning out during the match, given how generic their offense is. The match finished with a Yang moonsault block, getting the win at 6:38. *1/4. Finlay and Vince McMahon are in the back, where Finlay apologizes for what he said to Vince on RAW. After, Vince says that Finlay will face Khali next week in a Belfast Brawl. Cole no-sells that, and talks about Batista facing Mark Henry. ___________________ And Batista vs. Mark Henry is on, right now. - We see footage from Rumble '05, which Batista won. That's all I've ever seen of that show. Cole continually talks about WWE in HD, which I don't care about. At all. Henry and Batista be brawlin', until Batista wins with a spinebuster at 5:00. *, but harmless all the same. ___________________ Next up is MVP's VIP Lounge, an interview segment. His guest is Ric Flair. Flair says that MVP reminds him of himself, but MVP says he's better than that. So Flair chops him, knocking down some of the furniture as a result of MVP falling backwards. That's the segment, which I found entertaining. The interaction between the two was good. ___________________ Michelle McCool faces Layla next. Isn't the women's title on RAW? I know it is, so why is this happening? - Cole needs to shut up about WWEHD. I'm going to turn this off soon, cause I don't wanna hear it. - McCool gives Layla an Angel's Wings (Christopher Daniels finishing move), getting the victory at 3:52. 1/2*. I like that move, and so did the crowd. We get a video for whatever new Diva is soon to debut, and after, Jamie Noble is with McCool backstage. Someone, that being Chuck Palumbo, ordered her roses. Noble says, "are you kidding me!" Chuck argues with him for a bit, and they then agree to get along with each other, as those are McCool's wishes. Don't care. ___________________ Before the match, Vickie wishes Rey luck. So yeah, it's Rey Mysterio and CM Punk vs. Edge and Chavo Guerrero. - The ECW Title Match between Chavo and Punk is next week. See, I thought so. Punk and Rey do stereo suicide dives onto their opponents, as we go to a commercial. - Edge/Punk will be great when it happens. That said, the best portions of this match are between Rey and Edge. I like how Punk's shoulder injury played into the match. To explain, he didn't start selling it until it was worked on, so the crowd didn't catch onto an angle occuring later in the night. And then on ECW, it was rammed into the ringpost, so the viewers at home could understand why it was hurt. Good booking. Rey 619's Chavo, so Edge hits Rey in the knee with a chair. **3/4. Punk tries to save Rey, but the Edgeheads come down and beat on he and Rey, to end the show. Edge has got the better of Rey the last two weeks, so Rey should get something over Edge to head into the Royal Rumble. ___________________ Show was decent. Best segment was Edge/Chavo vs. Rey/Punk, and the worst was that stuff with McCool, Noble and Palumbo. This was an entirely FORGETTABLE show. At least Cole stopped talking about WWEHD.
  21. At first I was going to watch the first Nitro, but instead, I watched the MNW program. And first up is Nitro, from Asheville, North Carolina. ___________________ Last night was Slamboree. Don't forget that. Gene Okerlund's in the aisle, as Ric Flair's coming out for an interview. MEANNNNNN Gene. It's the usual, until Syxx joins us. He knows he can take Flair, and he wants to do it tonight. Flair accepts, and Syxx pretty much slaps him. So, Flair chases Syxx, until Syxx runs to the back. Flair/Syxx sounds good, but so does every other main event featuring an NWO guy. And they all end the same, too. ___________________ So, our first match is Prince Iaukea vs. Steven Regal for the TV Title. Regal won this title at Slamboree, from the Ultimo Dragon. - It's not Lord Steven Regal anymore, it's simply, Steven Regal. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know yet) this show is only one hour long. Iaukea's offense consists of roll-ups which only get a 2 count. Regal's really stiff throughout, which is nice. - Regal gives Iaukea a REVERSE SUPLEX, and then, Iaukea submits to the REGAL STRETCH at 2:26. *1/2. Iaukea is shit, so his matches need to stay short. ___________________ At Slamboree, Glacier was beaten up by Wrath and Mortis, until Ernest Miller ran in and saved him. HAHAHA. That's just great. The next match has absolutely nothing to do with what they showed prior to this, given that Masa Chono is facing David Taylor. - Mike Tenay's on commentary for this contest, and he says that there's going to be the debut of a huge star in Vegas. He got that one right. He also says that NWO t-shirts are huge in Japan. I have no idea as to whether or not that's true. - Chono doesn't sell, you know. He wins with the STF at 2:58. 3/4*, Taylor got absolutely NOTHING. ___________________ Mean Gene's with Sonny Onoo, who says that Chono has a debt to pay next week. He says that Chono's worst nightmare will be there. Does that mean....THE GREAT MUTA? Ok, I'll spoil it. JJ Dillon then says that Nick Patrick is reinstated. Ok, that's fine with me. ___________________ Speaking of Nick Patrick, he's officiating this match between Michael Wallstreet and AMERICAN MALE, Scotty Riggs. - Wallstreet's wearing a shirt with an emblem picturing the letters, WCW, inside of a red circle, with a slash through it. Like, you know, a no-smoking sign. Anyhow, he's wearing it because he's not allowed to be in the NWO as per the terms of his contract, and he hates WCW. - Patrick continually argues with Wallstreet. Continually. Wallstreet takes a foreign object out of his pants and tries to hit Riggs with it, but Patrick takes the object away. Riggs comes off the top rope with a sunset flip, but Wallstreet holds onto the top rope, trying to steal the victory. Patrick kicks Wallstreet's hand off the rope, and Riggs gets the 3 count at 2:49. That was so convoluted and ridiculous that I have to DUD it. ___________________ Gene's talking to Mark Martin for some dumb reason, probably because Valvoline was one of their sponsors. Yeah, I'm sure that's why. He likes WCW and all, and Valvoline is giving away one of his racecars. Ok, then. Ric Flair was with him, and he talked a little bit of trash about Syxx. Next we go On the Road with Lee Marshall to Nashville. FF. Last night at Slamboree, DDP tried to attack Randy Savage with a crutch. Savage ran away, so that his buddies in the New World Order would be able to help him out. Well, he ran in and got clobbered by Page. Buff Bagwell and Vincent tried to give Savage support, but they were beaten on as well. Scott Norton though, he stopped the whole thing. The NWO beat DDP up for a bit, until THE GIANT made the save for Page. ___________________ We have our token tag team match, as Mongo and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra are going to face the Steiner Brothers. - Mongo's briefcase is all dented up. Can't he afford a new one? - This is the last time I'll talk about Scott Steiner being roided up, but he reminds me of one of those pump up toys where you pump the toy and its muscles just get bigger and bigger. - Scott gives Jarrett this insane samoan drop from up top. It looked so much better than Mortis' version. The crowd starts chanting "Reggie, Reggie." No, no. A t-bone suplex by Rick Steiner causes Mongo's foot to hit the camera at ringside. - Debra gets on the ring apron to distract the official, but Mongo gets knocked down while holding the BRIEFCASE. Jarrett picks it up and thinks about hitting Mongo with it because of what happened at Slamboree. If you don't know, I'll tell you. Jarrett was facing Dean Malenko for the US Title, and Debra was at ringside with him. At the end of the match Jarrett was on the floor, and for some reason, Mongo threw him into the ring, and took Debra backstage with him. I think that's it, I haven't watched Slamboree '97 in a long time, and I have no desire to do it again. Anyhow, Kevin Greene runs down the aisle, takes the briefcase from Jarrett and hits Mongo with it, giving Rick Steiner the pinfall over Mongo at 3:35. *. After the bout, Mongo runs to the back, and has a pull-apart brawl with Greene. This happened during the commercial break, but we saw it when they came back. Next week's show is two hours. Yay! ___________________ Our main event is up next, and just as was said by our announce team of Tony, Brain and Larry, it's Syxx (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. Ric Flair in an obvious non-title affair. - Syxx's gear says "thug" on the front of it. That made me laugh for some reason. Flair beats on Syxx for about 40 seconds of the :58 this match lasts, until Scott Hall and Kevin Nash make their first appearance on the night. They fucked Flair up, yo. Nash grabs a mic, and Piper better be strapped, cause they're comin' for him next. Wolfpac is 4 LIFE and NWO is 2 SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET. Obviously this is not rateable, and I'm not rating anymore of the 1 or 2 minute long matches prior to an NWO run-in. And boy, there are going to be a lot of them. ___________________ Here comes an NWO member...oh, it's just Eric Bischoff. Of course, he has a microphone. He talks a bunch of trash about Sting, and says that Sting needs to give up his chase of Hollywood. He says he'd slap Sting if Sting was in this ring. So, naturally... IT'S STING Yeah, he comes out through the ring, meaning from under, busting a hole in the ring, and gives Bisch a SCORPION DEATHDROP. End show. ___________________ This wasn't so hot. Rating is poor, the best segment was at the beginning when Syxx slapped Flair, and the worst was that Nick Patrick crap. I hated it, but the crowd loved it. ___________________ It's MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Mobile, Alabama. Wait a minute, wasn't RAW from Mobile this Monday? Talk about a coincidence. ___________________ To open the show, we have exclusive footage of what happened once the show went off the air last week. Yeah, it was Bret Hart running Shawn Michaels into the ground, verbally speaking. Anyway, Shawn gave Bret SWEET CHIN MUSIC at the end of all that. The rest of the Hart Foundation chases Shawn to the stage, where they beat him up. Bulldog picks up Shawn to press slam him off the stage, but STONE COLD makes the save. He hits Bulldog in the back with a crutch, and both he and Michaels hold off the Harts. Now, for the real beginning of the show. Austin gets a gigantic pop, this being the South, and all. Huge change from previous weeks, where he wasn't getting anything in the Midwest. He's going to talk to JR, I suppose. He doesn't care about Shawn, he just wanted to get at the Hart Foundation. Well, Shawn comes down to the ring, and says that he wanted to do the same. They share a common bond, you see. Austin wants Shawn to take his ass backstage. And now, they brawl. It was nice to see a good opening to the show, and not mindless blabbering. Officials pull them apart, and then, Owen Hart begins to say something on the TitanTron. He challenges both Shawn and Austin to a match next week, for Bulldog and Owen's tag titles. Hell yeah, son. Shawn wants to do so, but not with Austin. And Austin doesn't want Shawn as his partner, so they fight again. ___________________ JR and King are on commentary again, which is good. No Vader vs. Crush tonight, because Vader's unable to compete, as a result of having his nose busted up by Ken Shamrock. Instead, our King of the Ring First Round match will be between Crush w/the Nation and Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna. - As far as why HHH is allowed back in, it's because he wasn't briefed properly by the official last week, as Gerald Brisco says. HHH is back in because the WWF doesn't want him to take legal action. Well played. - Heel vs. heel is never good. This is not an exception. HHH sends Chyna in the ring with the referee distracted, but the referee catches onto the charade. So now he's distracted by Chyna, and Savio Vega jumps on the apron. He tries to kick HHH, but kicks Crush on accident, giving HHH the pinfall at 3:56. *1/4. Savio and Crush push each other, so Faarooq comes to the ring to break that up. TEASING DISSENSION. ___________________ Our next match is Bob Holly vs. Owen Hart (WWF Intercontinental Champion) w/Jim Neidhart and the British Bulldog, in a non-title match. - Holly's from Alabama, so he's a little over, for once. Seeing as this is a non-title match, something's up. Something always has to be up. King interviewed two hicks earlier in the day, in a clip that was shown before the match...really wasn't that funny. Owen's friends left ringside, instead, they're standing at the stage. - I liked this one very much, unfortunately, it was short. Owen went for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Holly grabbed him by the hair and cradled him, for the 3 count at 3:38. **, like I said, something was up. Anyhow, Owen's buddies try to attack Holly, but he runs away. This is how all 4 minute matches should be, all out. ___________________ We flashback to that Paul Bearer stuff last week, in which he said he'd reveal a secret if Taker didn't came back under his wing. After, HBK's with Ken Shamrock. See, that's who he wants to be his partner. Ha. Mankind has the first part of his interviews with Jim Ross. I can't quite do it justice, so watch it. I'd link to them on youtube, but they're not there. Only one is, I think, and that's not good enough. This one mostly talks about pain and being picked on. ___________________ So, to follow that, we get this great match between Leif Cassidy and Scott Taylor. - King talks about RVD before the match, seeing as he was on Raw last week. He puts down ECW a bunch, and the match begins with a Snow pescado. - Taylor nearly botches a springboard crossbody to the outside, and later, Cassidy gives Taylor a really hard spinebuster. Anyhow, Taylor cradles Cassidy on a front suplex reversal, giving him the pinfall. I didn't time it, because I was surprised at the quick start of the match. 3/4*, nearly botched spots in a match that short are a no-no. After the match, Cassidy jumps up in JR's face and starts screaming at him, like a maniac. I like this angle. He did this last week when losing, too. ___________________ Sable's in the back, and hey, Austin walked in on her while she was changing. See, Austin wants her to be his tag team partner. Obviously, she won't do it. On that note, we go to THE WARZONE So, the Hart Foundation come to the ring, as Vince McMahon joins us for commentary during Hour 2. Boo. Bret starts talking, and the first thing I noticed is that he's getting better at this. Good thing. His surprise is that he'll be back at King of the Ring, and he wants to challenge Shawn Michaels to a match. We know why this didn't happen, but we'll go through it anyway. He says, if he can't beat Shawn in 10 minutes, he'll never wrestle in the US again. Shawn appears on the TitanTron, and tears into Bret. First he says that each of Bret's stablemates have to be handcuffed to the ringposts in order to get him to take the match. Now it gets good. We get the Sunny Days comment from Shawn, after Shawn claims Bret couldn't last 10 minutes in any situation. Day-um. Bret doesn't really say anything to counter that, ending the segment. He got owned, but that said, it's always better to take the high road. ___________________ Our next match is Goldust vs. Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man. - Before the bout, Goldust asks who would like to see Marlena. The people say yeah, and he says, he can do better. He'll bring out two Marlena's, his wife, and his daughter. It was funny to see his daughter run around the ring, and this was done, obviously, because of those interviews he's had in weeks previous talking about himself. Whoever (probably Russo) decided to have in-depth, multi part interviews with the wrestlers did a really, really smart thing. It helped character development immensely. If in fact that was Russo's idea, I'll have to give him his due, for that, anyway. - At the end of the bout, Honky tries to hit Goldust with his guitar. Goldust takes it away, and breaks it over Honky's head, at 4:05. Why the time, you say? Because some genius decided that hitting a wrestler's manager is worth a disqualification. Minor nitpick, *1/4. ___________________ Ahmed Johnson is in the back, he thinks Faarooq was right last week when he was talking about the lack of a black WWF Champion. He's no racist, though, and he says he'll be the first black WWF Champion, not Faarooq. Stone Cold is with Harvey Wippleman, and he wants Harvey to be his tag partner. The Brooklyn Brawler comes into the picture, wanting to be Austin's partner. Austin kicks his ass, and says that Harvey has no choice. He'll be Austin's partner. ___________________ Rocky Maivia faces Faarooq next, and Faarooq is accompanied by the Nation. - PG-13 are gone. See ya. They didn't come out with the Nation tonight. Faarooq wants Rocky to join the Nation. Rocky tells him to shove it. - These short matches are going to become increasingly more frequent, from what I remember. The DOMINATOR finished the bout at 2:49. *. No attack on Rocky, as the Nation just leaves. We go to the back, as there's commotion. Well, the Harts are beating on Bob Holly. That's why you must job, son. Following that, THE UNDERTAKER comes to the ring for an interview with Vince. He says that playing the race card was a bad decision for Faarooq. He also says he's neither black or white, but the REAPER OF WAYWARD SOULS. Man, I was HOWLIN' at that. Paul Bearer appears on the TitanTron, and wants to let the secret out. Taker says he needs more time to think about his proposition, that being that Bearer wants to manage Taker again. Taker has SEVEN days. ___________________ Our main event is Jim Neidhart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin w/a crutch. - The Harts come down to ringside early, and Pillman goes on guest commentary. He says that paybacks are a bitch, meaning for Austin. Austin attacks Pillman on the outside, and when Pillman gets up, he runs in and hits Austin with a crutch, at 1:50. No rating. Shawn comes to the ring with a chair, and cleans house. Safe, unprotected chair shots. He didn't go to town like most would. JR grabs a microphone, and tells both Austin and HBK that Gorilla Monsoon has stated that they MUST team up against Owen and Bulldog next week. You know how I said I write full match reviews for stuff of importance? This is definitely of fuckin' importance. And to end the show, Austin and HBK fight. ___________________ Good way to end a poor in-ring show. The show still gets a rating of good, with the best segment being Shawn's burial of Bret, and the worst being uh, HHH's reentry into the King of the Ring. This is a historic show for so many reasons. I think we all know about Shawn and Bret fighting after that Sunny Days comment, so yeah. I don't really need to go into detail, do I? RAW wins this week, because, well, their show was longer. ___________________ Now, the first Nitro, from the Mall of American in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm not giving anything the full review here, cause this column is running long as it is. Secondly, nothing's that important except for Flair/Sting, and there are far better matches between them. While I started watching WCW around this time, I've never watched this show. I have, however, seen Fall Brawl 1995. But I was 7 and that was a long time ago. ___________________ A few words from Eric Bischoff (now, actually, when this channel first started running the MNW) open the show. Enjoy. He, Mongo and Bobby Heenan are on commentary. The first match on the show, as we all know, is Jushin Lyger vs. Flyin' Brian. At least I think everyone knows that. - Sounds good to me. Pillman botches a hurricanrana, bad enough that it gets a small mention. "He barely even got him with that one!" Mongo sucks on commentary. Boy, he sucks. - Pillman didn't really carry his share of the load in the match. I'm just being honest. Anyway, Lyger picks him up for a german suplex, and Pillman frontflips forward, grabbing Lyger's legs victory roll style, picking up the win at 6:52. **1/4. Sorta disappointing. ___________________ After the bout, Sting cuts a promo on Ric Flair. After, Bobby Heenan talks about the Monday Night War. Obviously, this was added in, and didn't occur back then. Bischoff is with Hulk Hogan brother, Pastamania at the Mall of America's runnin' wild, brother, what's Bubba Rogers gonna do, brother, Pastamaniacs brother gonna run wild on Bubba, brother. ___________________ And here we go, it's Ric Flair vs. Sting for the US Title. - And while it's not as good as some of their other matches, boy, it's a fun one. Sting's wearing BRIGHT pink, and hey, WHO THE HELL IS THAT? It's LEX LUGER, GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Bischoff nearly ruined that segment with his "shock and awe." He just sounded so...fake. Flair and Sting stopped to stare, as this happened prior to their match. - Sting knocks Flair around, until Flair crossbodies Sting, which sends both out of the ring. That was pretty funny. During the "commercial break," Arn Anderson talked about WCW. Of course this was inserted in. - Sting's done four gorilla press slams thus far. FOUR! Arn came down to ringside, at about 5:35. Sting does a superplex later, and Bischoff overreacts, similar to how Michael Cole does. You know, "he tossed him out of the ring, that's a THIRTY FOOT fall, Tazz." Like that. Flair slaps on the FIGURE-FOUR, and Sting makes it to the ropes. HOWEVER, Flair doesn't release the hold, and gets disqualified at 8:42 (shown). Arn comes into the ring, and both he and Flair fight to the back. They had a match signed for Fall Brawl, remember? A very fun *** match. After the Flair/Arn fight, Scott Norton comes to ringside. He argues with Mongo, until Randy Savage comes out. He wants to fight Norton right now, but later, we find out that this match will occur next week. ___________________ Back from the break, we have a Sabu video onscreen. Good one. Mean Gene says that some guy won a Harley Davidson. Ok. And on WCW Saturday Night, Johnny B. Badd will be facing Dick Slater, and the Blue Bloods will face Sting and Randy Savage. Sounds good to me. Last of all that, we get a Mr. Wallstreet promo. YES! He didn't want any part of the New Generation, so he's in WCW, where the big boys play. ___________________ The main event on this show is Big Bubba Rogers vs. Hulk Hogan w/Jimmy Hart for the WCW Heavyweight Title. - Heenan mentions that Rogers was a prison guard. Good thing he didn't take the conversation further than that, cause I thought WCW wasn't allowed to mention him being the Big Bossman, or anything resembling it. Heenan also tells us of his conversation with Kevin Sullivan, where Sullivan says that Hogan will never understand what's going to happen to him. I'll see where this is headed at the end of the match. - A guy in the front row has a Hogan Sucks sign, but this cop comes over, and he quits raising it up for the whole world to see. Rogers takes Jimmy Hart's jacket away, so Hogan begins to choke Rogers with it. I've gotta mention, the crowd is, um, not with Hogan's whole act here. To describe their reaction as mild is probably an overstatement. After the Bossman Slam, Hogan goes into the routine, to little reaction. Hulk-up, 1, 2, BIG BOOT, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG for 3 at 7:08. *1/4, at least it was short and inoffensive. After the match, here comes the DUNGEON. Oh my God. Honestly, my first reaction when seeing Leslie dressed as the Zodiac was, "what the FUCK." Kamala, Sullivan, the ZODIAC, Meng and the Shark were the ones I noticed. I think that was all of them. Anyhow, LEX LUGER came to the ring and saved Hogan. They nearly fight, so Sting and Savage run in to pull them away from each other. Then there's a "commercial," where Gene Okerlund talks about the MNW. He runs down for the interview on Nitro, and Hogan says, Luger doesn't have to prove anything to him, so he'll face him next week on Nitro. And that's the end of the show. ___________________ Good debut show. That's my rating. The best segment was Sting/Flair with the Arn/Flair brawl, and the worst was that Dungeon of Doom shit. Man, that was terrible. The Zodiac walked down the aisle so damn funny. Well, watching this, I can see why they competed with the WWF. Their offering was better than what the WWF was doing at the time on Raw. There isn't much of a contest, unfortunately, they couldn't keep doing this. It wasn't possible to give away matches like this for free, I mean, Luger vs. Hogan in their first meeting, on Nitro? Looking back, it's not the best move for business, even if extremely enjoyable. ___________________ Lastly, we have the Shorties Section, featuring 7 great debuts. I watched them in chronological order, and the first one was...Justin Hawk Bradshaw w/Dutch Mantel Uncle Zebakiah vs. Hakushi from 3/4/96. Note, all of the debutees(?) are listed first. - In regards to these shorties, my thoughts aren't necessarily on the match. It's basically a reflective thing. - I noticed people were complaining about JBL's flab a few weeks ago. When he was younger, there was more. Much more. Roddy Piper's on the phone, he's mainly talking about Goldust and the Ultimate Warrior. My, how things have changed. - This match was basically a squash, and the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL finishes the match at 4:11. Well, while some things change, others stay the same. He then hogties Hakushi, and Uncle Zeb brands him with a branding iron. *1/2. ___________________ Our next one is Stone Cold Steve Austin's debut, against Savio Vega from 3/11/96. Ted DiBiase is Austin's manager. - I guess Austin's time as the Ringmaster doesn't count. Austin's wearing white boots from his time as part of the Hollywood Blondes, in case you've watched this and didn't notice. They're laced differently, but me, I notice stuff like that. There's a black star on them, so, I figured it out. Also, Mark Henry's at ringside. - Austin's style is far different than that which most people remember. Far more wrestling than brawling, here. This match ends with a double countout at 6:10 (shown). **...both men brawl after, which sets up their match at WrestleMania XII. Vega gets the best of the post-match scuffle. ___________________ Third up, is FAAROOQ ASAD w/Sunny vs. Skip from 8/12/96. - Faarooq's outfit....goodness. I've heard a lot about it, but my mind blocked out what it actually looked like. The helmet? - It's pretty funny to see Sunny cheering on Faarooq while he kicks her boyfriend's ass. Jake Roberts is facing Jerry Lawler at SummerSlam 1996, remember. The DOMINATOR finishes at 4:31. There was an audible "ooh" from the crowd when Faarooq did that. I thought Faarooq would have the Hercules face theme. Guess not. *3/4, just a squash, but awfully entertaining. ___________________ Chris Jericho's debut was on RAW, when he interrupted the Rock. Because the MNW will eventually roll around to this point, I'm not going to cover it. I found it funny that he "came to save the WWF," and he re-debuted a few months ago claiming the exact same thing. Am I the only one who noticed that? So, after this great debut...why exactly did he start wrestling in the midcard against guys like Road Dogg, Ken Shamrock and X-Pac? Cause he didn't work WWE style? ___________________ Eric Bischoff's debut is up now. Well, it was pretty much the most surprising thing I've ever seen happen in Vince's promotion. They didn't add Booker's reaction to this, which means I don't really wanna watch it. I did, though, and it's boring, outside of the original shock factor. Don't rewatch this. When it happened it was the craziest shit ever. Oh yeah, I didn't even say what happened. Bischoff became RAW GM. Hopefully you knew that. ___________________ Dave Batista faced Justin Credible on 11/4/02. - Credible's look is real funny. Also, Batista looks to be far more mobile in this clip. He destroys Credible, and finishes with the sitout powerbomb at 1:25. *. This was fine. ___________________ Remember how Goldberg debuted on Rock Appreciation Night? - Well, I do. Rock's talking about retirement, which brings me to another topic. Why do all these idiots act like the Rock owes WWE and the fans something? Sure, I'd like for him to come back for a night, but he doesn't owe us shit. I hate reading people's comments about how ungrateful he is. Grow up. Whew, now I feel better. - Rock said he's beaten everyone, so Goldberg comes out. You wanna know who's next, well, YOU'RE NEXT. Spear, and that's that. WWE fucked Goldberg's run up so bad, but in truth, I don't think it would've been a success anyway. He was 4 years removed from his peak, and once you go away, it's hard to regain the fan support you had before. It's not like he stayed active on television like Austin and Hogan do. Sure, they fucked Goldberg up, but you have to enter the new fan into the equation. You can't push people solely on old success in different promotions, because there are going to be people out there who don't care about that, and don't want to care about that. They're worried about right now. The roster (as a result of the brand extension) was too thin to have him squashing people all the time, so, we got what we got. ___________________ The last debut, was Mickie James' debut. She teamed up with Ashley and Trish to take on Torrie Wilson, Victoria, and Candice Michelle. This is from 10/17/05. - This should be short. What's up with Victoria being dressed like white trash? Anyhow, she cradles Mickie at 1:47 for the win. *. Mickie does Trish's finisher to Victoria in an attempt to impress Trish, and that's it. I think we know where this goes, to the lesbian thing. ___________________ Wow, that was a long column. Anyway, that's it. Next, I'll review Royal Rumble '88, and after, I'll review Smackdown, PTW and the NWA weekly offering. The Lakers play on Monday, so I'm going to watch the 10:00 hour of RAW first, and then the 9:00 hour second, when I find RAW on dailymotion or something. So basically, in reverse. It's the only way.
  22. First, we have RAW. I was watching the Laker game, so I tuned in at 9:48. I flipped over and saw HBK giving Trevor Murdoch SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and I know there was some Diva crap before that. There was some stuff with Orton and Hardy too, and they have an Intercontinental Title match later. Now, we begin. Again, this is an exact copy of my great notes. The colors are to let you know that I'm talking about a different program. ___________________ When I tuned in, the first thing on was HHH vs. Snitsky. Boy oh boy. - Snitsky is one ugly motherfucker. Not only that, but he makes these strange sounds while on offense. I don't like this guy, but I think he's funny. Why exactly is he in the WWE, again? - Back from the commercial break, and that was probably a rough two minutes for the live crowd. I don't really want to think about it. JR calls Snitsky "Bowling Shoe Ugly." Well, I have to agree. At least there haven't been any restholds. - Nevermind. There's a bearhug! On a PEDIGREE attempt, Snitsky backdropped HHH over the top rope. Then, he tries to hit HHH with the steel steps. He's unable to, though, as HHH gets disqualified by hitting Snitsky with a steel chair, at 10:06. HHH grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, hits Snitsky in the gut with it, and PEDIGREES him. Whoop-dee-doo. 1/2*...why was this 10 minutes, again. Anyway, HHH destroys the small screen below the actual TitanTron, and Vince allows him to go back into the Rumble, IF he wins his match next week. ___________________ JBL cut a promo on Chris Jericho next, in which he talked about Jericho's kids needing to know that his father's a coward. Then there's lots of pyro, to end the whole thing. ___________________ Next up was a 5 Man Royal Rumble, with 30 second intervals between appearances. This was some Hornswoggle thing, so I expect stupidity. And Lord, did I get it. The crowd can't even see the fuckin' thing, for one, second, nobody wants to watch a midget Royal Rumble. There was a mini-Kennedy, mini-Mankind, mini-Batista and mini-Kane. Lastly, Khali came out, but was beaten up by Finlay. -***** for that whole thing, I never want to discuss it again. Went about 7:50. Afterward, Finlay has a discussion with Vince, in which he says he doesn't want their deal to be broken. Uh... ___________________ How are they going to squeeze the main event and this Flair match into such a short time? Well, it's Ric Flair vs. William Regal. - Both wrestlers come to the ring and we go to a commercial? - Well, Flair cheats to win on a roll-up, while holding Regal's tights. Only 2:07 of the match was shown. This Flair stuff is being bungled beyond belief. Moreover, he's looking so worn down that I don't even think he'll be able to make it to WrestleMania. Just my opinion. Match was unrateable. ___________________ Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy in a match for the Intercontinental Title, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Orton kicks Hardy in the nuts after 8 seconds, ending the match via disqualification. No rating, again. My original thought was, why give this match away on free TV? Well, they didn't, thankfully. - Both men brawl to the stage, where Orton goes to punt Hardy in the head. Hardy gets up and backdrops him onto some sort of platform, a bit below the stage. I can't really do this angle justice, so bear with me. Hardy climbs up a support beam beside the stage, stops and...CLIMBS UP MORE. He's way up there. Then, he gives ORTON A FUCKING SWANTON BOMB, from about 15 feet up. Holy shit. This got over huge. HUGE, I tell you. JR and the King (no, not me) immediately stopped their commentary, as paramedics stretchered both men off to end the show. Hardy's gotta get the strap at the Rumble. GOTTA. He's their most over performer right now. What a good way to end a shitty show. Hardy's being put over so strong that this can't possibly be fucked up. He's been made into a star. The show as a whole was terrible, but the ending was great. Meet in the middle and we'll call it decent. ___________________ I didn't have time to watch the show from MSG that was posted on 24/7. Sorry. I got a bit through it and fell asleep. Kerry Von Erich looked too young, even for him. ___________________ Next up, THE FIRST EVER MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Of all the updated stuff, I was waiting for this the most. Sean Mooney starts things off, and you know, Bobby Heenan's not allowed in the building tonight. Rob Bartlett's on commentary instead. And the 1993 intro to the show is just as kickass as I remember it. ___________________ WELCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Commentary team is what you'd expect, Vince, Savage, and Bartlett. Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji is our first match. Hey, the High Energy version of Koko. - WHAT THE FUCK. I didn't realize that High Energy used what would stick around and become Owen Hart's music. Sorry, that threw me for a loop. I love Koko's ring attire. - So, to sum things up, Yoko doesn't hit the canvas all match, and finishes things up with the BANZAI DROP at 3:46. *. Bartlett couldn't stop talking about Yoko's ass. Well, things like that are going to become commonplace throughout the show. The promo for Royal Rumble 1993 is cool. Then we flash to Jim Ross talking about the importance of RAW to the business as a whole. Well, I agree there. ___________________ Bobby Heenan then cuts a pre-taped promo in which he talks about "Narcissus." It's a good thing they changed that to "Narcissist." The original was not the best. That serves as our lead-in to The Executioners vs. the Steiner Brothers. - The Executioners aren't important, so you missed nothing. The Steiners have this entrance music that I can't describe. Meaning that I don't know whether or not it's good. BTW, Doink the Clown is in the crowd. Good. - Even then, Scott was really roided up. One of the Executioners blow an Irish whip, so they'll be punished for it. The Steiners fuck 'em up, as ECW fans would chant in the same building a few years later (though totally unrelated to the match at hand), and the bout ends via pinfall after Rick bulldogs one of the EX'S as they were seated on Scott's shoulders. I love that finisher, even if it probably injured a lot of guys. Thoroughly enjoyable contest, **. ___________________ Heenan's dressed as a woman, but he's not allowed in the building, as Mooney finds him out. Well, darn. Edge talks...basically, whenever I say someone talks, it's about the importance of RAW. ___________________ Now we have an interview with Razor Ramon. I covered his accent in the PTW writeup from a few weeks before this, I think. Well, he's ready for the Rumble, MANG. Numero uno, mang, the #1 contender. He wanted this to be personal, so he attacked Owen on WWF Mania last week. After the interview's over, he tosses his toothpick at Vince. Yes! Back at the announce table, the guys talk about Headlock on Hunger. And Tatanka has something to say about that. SPIRITS AND NONSENSE!!! ___________________ The next matchup is Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels, for Shawn's Intercontinental Championship. - I don't know what to say about Max Moon. He does some cool stuff, like a running seated senton off the apron to Shawn as Shawn was standing up at ringside, much later in the match. - During the "commercial break," HBK talked about RAW. Yeah, they placed that in there. - Doink comes to ringside, as Bartlett is doing this AWFUL Mike Tyson impersonation. What did we do to deserve that? I was surprised to see that this wasn't a squash. Shawn wins the bout, by gaining the pinfall after the SIDE SUPLEX. It's just a back suplex, but since Gorilla Monsoon took extra care to make sure it was called the Side Suplex, hell, I'm calling it the Side Suplex. **. 7:52 of the bout was shown, who knows how long the commercial was. I know I can steal use the time from thehistoryofwwe.com, but I don't want to. ___________________ HHH talks, and then... We cut to a RUMBLE REPORT, with Gene Okerlund. Shawn Michaels will face Marty Jannetty, with Sensational Sherri at ringside. Shawn says that Sherri will most certainly be with him. Marty says he'll get everything he wants, including the Intercontinental Title, and that Shawn doesn't really know what Sherri's going to do. Now Okerlund starts listing a few (a lot, really) of the Royal Rumble participants, but I'll just list the guys who cut promos. Mr. Perfect said that he has a perfect opportunity to win the Rumble. Well, he didn't say that, I did, cause that's what he should've said. Mr. Fuji babbles on about how Yokozuna's going to win the Rumble, and lastly, Jim Duggan talks about how he'll win the Rumble. Tough guy this, tough guy that, USA, USA, HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN HOOOOOOO, alright. You know, the Rumble winner goes to WrestleMania this year. Also, Bret Hart faces Razor Ramon. But that's seemingly an afterthought, isn't it. ___________________ Heenan tries to sneak in AGAIN, this time as a Rabbi. I was so pumped up after that RUMBLE REPORT that I wrote Rabbi as "Rumble." I'd show you, but there are so many things on this piece of paper that I don't want you to see. Mooney catches Heenan again, so Heenan gets all upset. Mick Foley talks about RAW, now. From what I've been told, Reverend Slick converted Kamala last week on WWF Mania. WHAT? I'm glad I haven't seen some of this stuff. ___________________ Our main event is DAMIEN DEMENTO vs. The Undertaker, with Paul Bearer as Taker's manager. I tuned out Bartlett after the Tyson stuff, so he could've been bad this whole time. I don't know. - Vince thanks DON IMUS for Rob Bartlett being there. That explains a lot about Bartlett's awfulness, doesn't it. - Well, it's a squash. Taker finishes it off with the TOMBSTONE at 2:25. *. ___________________ Vince talks about RAW, and how the live audience helped make the show what it is today. Definitely. Doink comes to ringside, and talks about how he's not bothered by Crush. Crush comes out, and talks some trash, brah. Well, Doink squirts him with a water pistol (yes, I call it that), so Crush chases him. How is Doink supposed to be the heel in all this? The crowd at the Manhattan Center loves the gimmick. Crush chases Doink, but eventually, he leaves the poor guy alone, so we can listen to Crush's great entrance music. ___________________ I know I said that I pride myself on not being silly, but I really took it to another level with this show. I couldn't help it, because, after all, WWF 1993 IS silly. Don't worry, I won't do that again for a while, likely until another RAW or a WWF Superstars is posted from 1993. By my standards, that was a good show. I was entertained throughout, and by my "would I have liked it then, but with a smarkish mindset" standards, undoubtedly I would have. If you can, watch it. If you can't watch it, find it. Unless you've seen it already, or have it on video. ___________________ Last, I watched WWECW, last night. ___________________ The "Cutting Edge" opened the show. Yeah, that's some interview segment with Edge as the host. Edge talks about the Rumble, and when mentioning Rey Mysterio, you immediately notice that there's a lot of kids in the crowd. Like, a whole lot. This'll have something to do with what I say later. Anyhow, he shows us what happened last week on Smackdown, when he and the Edgeheads beat up Rey Mysterio after Rey's match with Chavo Guerrero. So, this somehow gets to the point where CM Punk is the guest. Edge says he's been watching Punk, and that he reminds Edge of himself. Punk says he respects his opponents, but he can beat Chavo if he faces him again. And he can beat Edge too. Chavo then comes out, and challenges Punk. Punk accepts, but is pushed by Chavo into Edge. Then Punk gets his ass beat, and his shoulder gets rammed into the post by both guys, who then leave with the damage done. I didn't know what to think about that, on one hand, you gave the guy no rub from a confrontation with Edge, secondly, you took all the heat away from Chavo, who's in the middle of this program. Unless we're getting to Edge/Punk in the near future, I don't like this at all. After the commercial break, Edge leaves. That means he'll be there later. ___________________ The next match is a tag team match, with the Highlanders facing John Morrison and the Miz. I don't know if this was a WWE Tag Team Title match or not. - Miz and Morrison need to start entering together. It's tiresome to watch tag team partners have two separate entrances. Yeah, "they have big egos." So what. Make them argue over how they enter or something. - I don't understand why the Highlanders are here, and why they're playing pseudo-babyfaces. Pseudo because nobody is cheering them, see. - Of the two Highlanders, I like Robbie better. The match finishes after the Reality Check (kneelift, neckbreaker) at 2:57. *1/2. That finisher sucks, but I expected it, given that the Miz is the guy who does it. ___________________ Here's another Kofi Kingston vignette. It won't be hard for him to get over, because the general public (AFAIK) likes the whole Jamaican thing. I expect great things from him, given what I've read about his in-ring work. He debuts next week, on ECW. Good. Perfect show to debut him on. ___________________ Kelly Kelly comes out, and talks about HD. Then she disrobes. Anyone watching the show saw what she was wearing, and if you didn't, don't worry, it was nothing much. Literally. I kinda have a problem with this, given the number of kids in the crowd. If you want the product to be marketed toward kids, which given characters like Hornswoggle is what they want, do that, and get rid of this. You want to show this stuff, stop with the kid oriented stuff. Make up your mind. ___________________ The white guy from the past few weeks is with Tazz again. He'll be facing Kane this time. Chokeslam finishes after 1 minute. 1/2*. I don't know about the rest of us, but I'm starting to get bored by this. The ECW GM, that Estrada guy, is with CM Punk. The match will go on. Well, duh. ___________________ The injury report from Hardy's dive last night is that Hardy left the hospital before being evaluated, and Orton had to stay overnight. They're putting over Hardy so strong in this whole thing that I have a hard time believing he won't win at MSG. It's unfortunate that WrestleMania is coming up, seeing as HHH is probably going to win the Rumble. The trigger was probably pulled too quickly on this feud, but it should go until No Way Out at the least. ___________________ So, it's Shelton Benjamin vs. Nunzio. - Hey, someone from actual ECW. Have I mentioned that Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is great? - Shelton's inverted bulldog finishes at 3:05. Move needs a name, and I think Tazz gave it one, inadvertently so. "The Gold Standard." After the match, Shelton grabs a mic, then says, THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOWWWWWW, and gives him another inverted bulldog. I know a few people hate that catchphrase, but I love it. His voice cracked toward the end, making it that much better. *1/2. ___________________ Now we have our main event, Chavo's 3rd Chance, featuring him taking on CM Punk. Taken directly from my notes, to let you know what I was thinking about the booking here. - Punk's favoring his shoulder, of course. I don't like this, because I suppose it hurts Chavo's....status. While he's not been portrayed as strong, there needs to be incentive to care about the eventual title match, so winning semi-clean is the only acceptable course of action. - There's Edge, going on commentary. Told ya so. A good thing is, with Edge there, people aren't going to lose focus on the match, or leave, like last time. We're going to have another long overrun, which is ok. I don't like knowing exactly when the show will end. - When Chavo punches, it looks SO weak. Why that is, who knows. It's like he's too cautious. Each of these matches have been distinctly different, which is good. This one is better than the other two, I believe. Punk gets tossed outside, and clobbered in the head by Edge's World Heavyweight Title. So, Chavo wins by countout, at 11:18. **3/4. That was pretty much the worst ending possible. Let's look at the possible options. Draw. Yeah, right. Punk wins. That's fine. Punk loses by DQ, after Edge hits Chavo with his title. That's ok. Chavo gets the pinfall, clean. Not happening. Chavo gets the pinfall, after Edge interference, and his own finisher. Best possible option. Chavo wins via an arm-oriented submission. This is ok, too. Chavo wins by countout, while having no direct impact on the end of the match at all. Dogshit. Again, why should I care about the title match? It doesn't do anything for either participant, and given the booking, I doubt this match will happen at the Rumble. If it does, it won't be of any length. Tazz said that Chavo would probably want to have his title shot next week, given his mindset. Punk isn't going to face Edge anytime soon, so...I don't get it. If he did face Edge, he'd only lose. That shouldn't even be an option, but it's the only way this thing will go. He's not going to get a rub from it either, as it could only last until No Way Out. It'll never go to WrestleMania. ___________________ Anyway, that was a shitty ending to a pretty good match. Decent show. In the next installment, I'll have a whole bunch of stuff to read, including my thoughts on Smackdown. But first, the HHH/HBK RAW has to go up, which it will, tomorrow. I'm not typing up anything about the first ECW on TNN show, because it was basically a clip show. The segments on that will be reviewed on it's own merit when posted on it's original program, whether it be Hardcore Heaven '99 in the case of Lynn/RVD, or wherever that Taz/Rhyno match came from.
  23. This RAW is famous for one thing. HHH/HBK. That's all you need to know. I was mad that the RAW from 1993 with Razor/Kid on it didn't win the PYBO, but it's ok. ___________________ At the beginning of the show, we flashback to Orton/Foley, two weeks ago. Hey, I remember this. Things like that are what pushed me away from RAW. Foley wouldn't fight, see. You can call me a mark or whatever, but I just had it at that point. I knew they were building to something more, but I didn't have the patience. ___________________ Now that the show itself has started, Randy Orton comes out, to Mick Foley's music. He says Foley's not just a coward, but a smart coward. Great scripting, guys. He wants to be announced as the winner of their "match," and Lillian Garcia does that. He's now the Hardcore Legend. For some unexplained reason, Booker T comes out. Complete nonsense booking. He wants to face Orton for the Intercontinental Title. Ok. However, Mark Henry attacks him. Orton then runs to the stage, and accepts Booker's challenge. Backstage, Eric Bischoff tells Mark Henry that he's just as worried as he is. Teddy Long then says he wants to collect on his favor from Survivor Series, tonight. Bischoff says he can do it next week. And Long will, belee dat. ___________________ The first match on the night is Rob Van Dam vs. Scott Steiner. - Sorry, I don't have the tolerance to write full match reviews for anything other than PPV's or matches that I deem to be of importance posted on 24/7. Besides, I cover the angles in-depth, and now that I've started writing about the current product, something has to take a hit. I said I would do full reviews of the MNW, but I can't. This fits into that category. Besides, I don't think it's a big deal. The way I do these is thorough enough that you can get the full picture without a full match description, because if any angle happens throughout, I'll write about it. It's easier to read, too. - This was about a million times better than I thought it would be, which was a surprise given that Steiner was a useless piece of shit by this point. Given that RVD gave his best effort, this was a fun contest. No surprises though, it ends with the 5 STAR FROG SPLASH at 6:07. *3/4. Steiner's choking was tiresome, though. ___________________ During the broadcast, seeing as it's from San Antonio, there will be HBK Moments. You know, because San Antonio is Shawn's hometown, and he's facing HHH tonight. The first moment is his title win over Sid at Royal Rumble 1997, which just so happened to occur in San Antonio. The WWE Rewind was from 2 weeks ago, when Chris Jericho and Christian got into a scuffle. And now, they're arguing. Christian's mad that he got ditched for a girl. It'll all be ok, kid. Now Jonathan Coachman is at WWE Headquarters, for the boardroom meeting to decide on Steve Austin's future. Vince McMahon is going to be the one to argue against Austin, and someone else will argue in favor of him. ___________________ Before their match against two jobbers with Ric Flair as the special guest referee, Bubba Ray Dudley's in the back with D-Von, and Bubba thinks that Foley just may be a coward. Harsh. So yeah, the Dudleys are facing two jobbers with Ric Flair as the special guest referee. - It's a beatdown. Flair tells Bubba not to punch with a closed fist, but he does anyway. So Flair disqualifies both of them at 1:49. I thought that was funny. *. Bubba knocks down Flair, so his tag team partner Batista comes down and beats on both Dudleys. Since, you know, Batista and Flair are the World Tag Team Champions. Anyway, Flair looks so much younger than he does now. It's disturbing, cause it looks like Flair's aged 10 years in the last 4. ___________________ And we have another HBK Moment, this time, from SummerSlam 2002. Obviously it's from HHH/HBK, which is one of my favorite matches. It has really obvious flaws, though. Eric Bischoff is with all the referees, and he says he wants them to be tough, just like Flair. After, Coach shows up again, and Vince says he needs to look to the future, in an explanation of why he argued against Austin. Boy, does that statement ring true even today. His whole speech says a lot about what's wrong with the company now, and back then even more so. Progress has been made since 2003. Lastly, Terri is interviewing 3 of the Divas involved in the 6-woman tag later. Trish, Lita, and Stacy, FWIW. She talks with them until STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD drives into the picture. I think I just found a new phrase. ___________________ It's time for the Intercontinental Championship match, between Booker T and the champion, Randy Orton. - This was fine, but like I've said before, I don't understand the need for a chinlock in a 6 minute match. Both guys should've went all out. - At the end of the bout, Kane comes to the ring for some reason. Booker's distracted by that, so Orton gives him an RKO, which gets him the pinfall at 5:58. So Orton retains his title, *1/2. After the match, Kane gives Booker a chokeslam. Why, exactly. On the surface, this makes no sense, but they probably had a match a few weeks later in which Booker was squashed. ___________________ The last HBK Moment is from Survivor Series 2002. I have no problem admitting that I marked when HBK won the Elimination Chamber match. Coach is with Linda McMahon, who argued in favor of Austin. Blah blah blah. Chris Jericho finds Trish Stratus, and gives her a Christmas present. To be nice, I'll say that this is some of the worst acting I've ever seen. She's all sad and stuff. Leave acting to actors. Leave wrestling to the wrestlers. Why is it so hard for WWE to understand this? Austin's in the back, waiting for the phone call. He gets a call, but it's un-important. ___________________ Finally, we get our Happy Holidays Match. It's Trish, Stacy Keibler and Lita vs. Victoria, Molly Holly (Women's Champion) and Miss Jackie. - Happy Holidays is basically saying that they're all wearing holiday themed stuff. - This match is sort of a pile of shit, which is given with Jackie involved, and it ends when Trish gives Molly STRATUSFACTION, at 3:24. After the match, Victoria helps Molly up, but hits her with the title belt. That makes sense, cause Victoria is supposed to be crazy. ___________________ Austin is back again, and he gets the phone call he was waiting for. Well, he doesn't want to be co-GM, so he leaves. ___________________ Here we go, the match I've been waiting for. Shawn Michaels vs. HHH w/Ric Flair for the World Heavyweight Championship. Blow-by-blow: They lock-up at the start, until HHH takes control with a hammerlock. Shawn reverses the hold, and gives HHH a headlock. HHH rolls HBK up for two, but Shawn still has the headlock applied. HHH shoots him into the ropes, where Shawn gives him a shoulderblock. Shawn runs the ropes again, but HHH gives him a back elbow. HHH goes to toss Shawn out, but Shawn SKINS THE CAT, and headscissors HHH to the floor. Shawn then punches Ric Flair, and lands on both Flair and HHH with a springboard crossbody. Both men come back in the ring, where HHH grabs onto a wristlock. Shawn reverses, and charges into him with his shoulder; afterwards, he takes HHH down to the canvas. He gives HHH an armbar, and when HHH tries to give Shawn a hiptoss, Shawn reverses it into an armdrag. HHH straddles the 2nd rope in an attempt to get Shawn to break the hold, but Shawn kicks the rope, causing HHH's nuts to feel some pain. Shawn gives HHH another armdrag, but HHH quickly gets back up, and takes Shawn to the corner. In the corner, HHH charges into Shawn, and they begin to trade blows. Shawn tosses HHH over the top rope after getting the better of the slugfest, and he follows HHH to the outside. Shawn chops him a few times, and sends him back in, where he applies a sleeper. HHH tries a back suplex, but Shawn flips over him and rolls him up for 2. HHH takes Shawn down with a headlock, but Shawn bridges out of the pinning hold to a backslide for 2. HHH rams Shawn into the turnbuckle, but misses a charge, so when Shawn charges at him, he backdrops Shawn over the top rope. COMMERCIAL BREAK We're back, as HHH is bringing Shawn back into the ring. He chokes Shawn with his boot, and gives Shawn a backbreaker, which gets a 2 count. Everything done in this match has been simple. And yet it's one of the best matches in the history of RAW. HHH gives Shawn two elbowdrops to the back, and punches him a bit, for a 2 count. Shawn tries to come back, but HHH tosses him out of the ring. He tosses Shawn's into the steps, and the announcers talk about how Shawn's shoulder looks to be separated. I'm no doctor, so I can't say. Shawn tries a sunset flip on the inside and gets 2, but HHH comes back with two clotheslines for a 2 count. HHH puts Shawn in an abdominal stretch, and uses leverage from Ric Flair in order to cheat. He grabbed onto Flair's hand, see. The referee stops him when he sees it, and Shawn gives HHH a hiptoss. Shawn chops away at HHH, but HHH comes back with the leaping KNEE TO FACE. That gets a 2 count, but see, HHH hurt his knee. HHH tries a backbreaker, but Shawn reverses it into a kneebreaker. Then he applies a FIGURE-FOUR leglock, which makes the crowd go apeshit. The referee is distracted by HHH, though, so Flair gouges HBK's eyes. HHH dumps Shawn to the outside, but Shawn comes back in quickly, and up to the top rope. Shawn misses with a double axhandle, and HHH tries for the PEDIGREE. Shawn reverses it into a backdrop, thankfully for him. Shawn gives HHH a shoulderblock, and falls to the canvas exhaustedly, headbutting HHH in the nuts. After a bit of rest, HHH gets up, and is given an inverted atomic drop. And another one. Shawn gives HHH the flying forearm, and he KIPS UP. I love when the crowd and the announce team go nuts for that. Shawn goes up top, for the FLYING ELBOWDROP. Shawn then TUNES UP THE BAND, but Flair gets on the ring apron. So Shawn knocks him down, while HHH hits the referee. Ha. HHH blocks SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and gives Shawn a DDT. Flair gives HHH hit title belt, and he hits Shawn in the face with it, only getting a 2 count. HHH goes for the PEDIGREE, but it's blocked by Shawn. HHH kicks Shawn into the referee, so he's down again. Bischoff comes to the ring in an attempt to revive the referee, while HHH takes a turnbuckle pad off. Shawn rams HHH into an exposed turnbuckle, and BISCHOFF makes the count, which only gets 2. HHH is bleeding, as Shawn tries a 10 punch in the corner. HHH puts him down, but Shawn gets a right for 2. HHH gives Shawn the KNEE TO FACE-BUSTER, for a 2 count. He goes up to the 2nd rope, but eats Shawn's boot on the way down. Shawn is sent upside down at the exposed turnbuckle, but comes down and gives HHH SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for 3 at 29:12, 26:13 of which was shown. But wait, HHH is still the champion, because...Shawn's shoulders were down during the pin attempt. I nearly forgot why, for some reason. Ric Flair tries to attack Shawn, but he's given SWEET CHIN MUSIC. And Shawn punches Bischoff, for daring to say that he's not the new champion. Shawn walks backstage, and Bischoff fires him. When I first saw this (I flipped channels, came across it about a minute in, and stuck around), I thought this was a sure town-killing finish. UNTIL STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD makes his way to the ring, says that he's back, and that Shawn is rehired. He also says there's going to be a rematch (which wasn't up to par) and he gives Bischoff a STONE COLD STUNNER, to end the show. Match Analysis: This was easily the RAW MOTY for 2003. That Smackdown MOTY was obviously Angle/Benoit from the Rumble, which was just a little better than this. Seeing as this wasn't as good, I'll go one mark lower and call it ****1/2. If you have a problem with that, it's probably because you have a different rating scale. Matches from any of the large promotions in this country are obviously rated on a different scale then those from say, Japan. At least for me. I have no problem throwing out snowflakes if the match is deserving. This certainly was. If I worked for the WWE as a trainer, I'd have this match shown to all my trainees. It's so simple, and so well done. I suppose it would've been fine to have Shawn go over, but HHH just won the damn belt two weeks before. If only we could see something like this on TV now. Oh well. ___________________ Rating: Great. Just because of that one match. Best Segment: HHH/HBK. Worst Segment: All the boardroom stuff. Who cares, you know they won't get rid of Austin. Loudest Sound: HBK, Austin, Ric Flair as referee, and HHH. No surprises. ___________________ I already said what I'm putting up next. BTW, the MNW will be on that, too. It'll probably be...the first Nitro, RAW and Nitro from 5/19/97, and the shorties section. I think that'll do.
  24. Guest

    Review: Mostly RAW from 1/7/08.

    Ok, nothing for Smackdown. I barely even watched it, although I like that Rey's going to face Edge at the Royal Rumble. I thought Chavo's match against Funaki was good, that was the only thing I watched in its entirety. Also, I like the "Edge Heads" gimmick, although the shorter guy doesn't seem to be a very good wrestler. That's all I have to say. ___________________ So, the first show I watched in its entirety was ECW from 2-11-96. - The segment at the beginning of the show was gigantically long. Like about 20-25 minutes long. First, Taz attacked Rey Mysterio. The SHAH and JT Smith came out to help Rey, and they started fighting. Guess that makes sense. Woman then came out, and 2 Cold Scorpio carried her out of the building. Stevie Richards then came out to the ring, along with the Blue Meanie. They offered Sandman a chance to back out of his match against Raven, and he said no. He canes all of them, and we cut away, to Raven at the ring. Stevie has a surprise for him, and it's that he's suing Missy Hyatt. She comes out, and then Sandman comes out, who canes the members of Raven's Nest, and joins Missy Hyatt. I deliberately typed that as convoluted sounding as possible, because, well, it was a convoluted segment. One that I didn't care for. - The next thing on the show was an advertisement for the video tape, "Big Apple Blizzard Blast." A Current Affair was shooting footage, and the main things on the show were Sabu vs. Mr. Hughes and The Gangstas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio and the Sandman. Yeeeeah. ___________________ We have our first match next, it's Tommy Dreamer and Shane Douglas vs. Stevie Richards and Raven. Now, the rundown of things I thought were notable. - Stevie put on a Razor Ramon t-shirt, and threw a toothpick at Shane. That was funny, at least until Shane ripped the Razor t-shirt off and went to work on Stevie. - Cactus Jack runs in, and tries to beat up Shane. He leaves after a little bit. See, that's the one thing I don't get about run-ins during the middle of the match. Why wouldn't you stick around for the duration, instead of getting one or two punches in and leaving? - Sandman canes everyone, and leaves. After that, there were many nearfalls. - When Tommy gets introduced to the match via hot tag, weapons make their appearance. Meanie accidentally gives Stevie a moonsault, and Tommy gets knocked out, on a double collision. Beulah's been out there the whole time, so she tapes a frying pan to Tommy's right foot. He then gets up and gives Stevie Richards an enziguri, for the pinfall. Time announced was like 19:something, but that much certainly was not shown. Anyway, I liked it. ___________________ Lastly, was the match between Taz and the Shark Attack Kid. Talk about a good wrestling name. Taz wins the bout after the Tazmission and multiple suplexes, and afterward, grabs a microphone. He talks trash about 911, until 911's "music" hits. At least the geniuses at WWE 24/7 use the same dubbed music for each wrestler, instead of having it be different all the time. Otherwise I really wouldn't have understood the segment. Well, Tod Gordon comes to the ring instead of 911, and says that 911 is gone. GONE. And now, Bill Alfonso wants to fight Tod. So they do, until Tod gets the upper hand, at which point Taz comes in and beats up Gordon. BAM BAM FUCKING BIGELOW hits the ring, and chases off Taz. I knew that was going to happen because of the program description, but still, it's Bam Bam Bigelow. He grabs the microphone and says that Taz won't be able to suplex him. End show. Well, I liked the ending, and was indifferent to the rest. The show was decent. This Bam Bam thing could be great... ___________________ The last show I watched in between my last review and this one, was Monday Night RAW, last night. So, here's how it went. - At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon was at the RAW ROULETTE WHEEL with William Regal. He tells Regal that he'll be facing HHH tonight, so now, we spin the wheel. And it's a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!! Regal leaves the room, and HHH attacks him in the hall. Ha. This should be fun. The first match on the show was going to be Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy, or so it would seem. But the wheel lands on a...STRANGE BEDFELLOWS MATCH. I didn't have a clue as to what this was, but McMahon says that both HBK and Kennedy will be teaming up against another strange team. So, it winds up being HBK and Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdoch. - Haas' gimmick blows. I thought it was funny, in the worst way possible. That won't last for long. In case you didn't know, he goes under the ring at some random point during the match and puts on a mask. - Toward the end, Kennedy wouldn't help HBK make the tag. So HBK made the comeback all by himself, giving both opponents SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Unbeknownst to HBK, Kennedy had made a blind tag, so after giving Haas SCM, Kennedy gave HBK the "Mic Check," gaining him the pinfall over Haas. I didn't time it, as I was doing something else. Again, sorry. *1/2, with the forewarning that Haas' gimmick has the potential to ruin matches. The Mic Check is just a fancy name for a downward spiral. Also, Kennedy's spray-on tan was coming off. It looked disgusting. His skin color looked like that of Hulk Hogan, at least where the tan was still remaining. ___________________ The next match was Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito in a "Trading Places" match. Ok, I can't believe another WWE wrestler doesn't copy gimmicks, much in the same fashion of this match. Trading Places denotes that each wrestler dresses like the other. - I was surprised to see that Holly wasn't taking the gimmick too seriously. He had fun with it, which definitely was a surprise, this being Hardcore Holly, and all. - Holly spit an apple in Carlito's face, and gave him the Alabama Slam for the victory. Carlito stuck around to do jobs for Hardcore Holly? *. ___________________ Before the commercial, Jim Ross sneaks in a "SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL" reference. I knew he would. Only makes sense, don't it. Vince McMahon and Maria were backstage, to determine a match for all the Divas. The wheel landed on "Submission," but Vince moved the wheel over to a Lingerie Pillow Fight. That's not all, though. Afterward, Vince tells Hornswoggle that he needs to find a partner for a tag match, in which the winning team qualifies for the Royal Rumble. The Pillow Fight was on after the commercial. I didn't pay attention, all I know is that Ashley pinned Jillian Hall after a flying elbow. What I saw, sucked. Hard. These are unrateable anyway. ___________________ So, Hornswoggle was looking for a partner. Santino laughed at him. I was reading the RAW thread, and I have to agree with something Conspiracy_Victim said. Playing to the stereotype with Santino would be great. Ok, the next match is the First Blood match, between HHH and William Regal. - I liked it, but there really wasn't a whole lot to say. HHH punched Regal a whole bunch, and made Regal bleed. The end. **1/2. After the match, HHH gave Regal a PEDIGREE and celebrated. I'm not an HHHater, but I still think that was unnecessary. He's still putting people over, though, so why complain? That said, the product is about 1,000,000 times better than when I quit watching. I really like what I've seen thus far, for the most part. ___________________ The next match was Chris Jericho...in what was a HANDICAP MATCH. He's facing Snitsky and...JBL. Not much surprise, there. Besides, the newer fan needs to see JBL in-ring before the Rumble, so this is acceptable. - Ok, JBL looked a little flabby. Why is this a bad thing? I see way too much hypocrisy from Smarks these days. These guys aren't supposed to use steroids, and you make fun of those who do. But when you see a guy who doesn't, you make fun of him too? Idiots. - JBL hits Jericho with the ring bell at the end of the match, giving Jericho the win by DQ. 1/2*. Now, JBL grabs a cable, and begins to choke Jericho with it. He ties a noose around Jericho's neck, and drags him all the way towards the entrance. He begins to hang Jericho on the scaffolding on the side of the entrance, but various officials/road agents come out to stop the beating. Ok, that was cool. And now, the thing with Benoit never crossed my mind, nor would it ever have unless someone mentioned it. I'm kinda sensitive when it comes to things like that (although not a straight out bitch), but really guys, let it go. There's really nothing offensive about the Jericho segment at all. Plus, a segment like that could garner a few more PPV buys. Note that I said could. ___________________ Now, it's time for the Hornswoggle tag team match, as he's found a partner to face the Highlanders. It's some guy named BK Jordan. However, MICK FOLEY, being the man that he is, ABSOLUTELY MUST help the little guy. So he decides to be Hornswoggle's partner. - The match was way too long, let's put it that way. Hornswoggle won the bout after a frog splash. Sorry, I'm not calling it a tadpole splash. *1/4. The match was too long, it should've been a Foley squash. I wonder why Foley's going to be in the Rumble. I have this feeling that he'll get in the Elimination Chamber and win, OR, he'll go after CM Punk in a face vs. face thing leading up to WrestleMania. Hell, he could do both, putting Punk over huge at WrestleMania. Or he could do neither and disappear after the Rumble, considering that the WWE would never let Foley pick up pinfalls in an Elimination Chamber match, and losing in such a match would damage any possible rub he could give Punk. ___________________ In the main event, it was Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga in a cage match. Randy Orton's at ringside, btw. - Ok, here's the first of many cool spots. Umaga backdropped Hardy into the cage... - Randy Orton threw multiple chairs into the ring, and Umaga complied with Orton's wishes by hitting Hardy in the back with one of them... - Jeff Hardy threw a chair at Umaga...but before that, he crotched Umaga on the top rope, and delivered a Poetry in Motion to him, knocking Umaga into the cage. - Jeff gave Umaga a DDT into a chair, and while trying to escape through the door, Orton shut the door in his face. - Umaga tried to give Jeff a SAMOAN SPIKE, but Jeff gave him the TWIST OF FATE. Then, Hardy climbed up the cage, and delivered a WHISPER IN THE WIND FROM THE TOP, which helped him to gain the pinfall, after a match that lasted around 15 minutes. Ok, that match rocked. I guess I was right about these two being able to have a really good match, wasn't I? ***3/4. Umaga's nerve hold was the only negative to what was a great match. Hardy then climbed up the cage, and stared down Randy Orton to end the show. Honestly, I thought Hardy was going to jump off onto Orton. That would've been awesome. ___________________ This show was pretty good, and far beyond my expectations. As long as the product stays like this, I'll keep watching. And the Royal Rumble card looks great, IMO. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with the Ladder Match DVD. Needless to say, my next "Random Thoughts" piece will have something to say about that, ECW from later today, and the MSG show from 1980.
  25. Guest

    RAW from 5/12/1997...mostly.

    Ok, time for some random thoughts about things I've watched which I'm unable to type a full review of. When I go back to work once this hand is healed, this part of my reviewing, outside of Raw and Nitro, is very likely to stay like this. I won't have the time to write like I did before. I probably shouldn't have tagged this under review, but whatever. ___________________ So, first, Shorties Section. RAW debuts, introduced by Santino Marella. - Triple H's finisher in his first RAW match was a funny one to see. I couldn't picture him doing a cutter variation now, so that was a surprise. - The original concept with Mankind's music was awesome. The piano music at the end, I mean. He gave Bob Holly a little too much during the match, though. - The shoulderbreaker was a pretty lame finisher for a debuting guy. So why did Rocky Maivia have it? Sunny fawning over him on commentary was funny, as was Rocky's hair. Not diggin' all the blue, though. - The Headbangers beat the Hardy's the hell up, on that RAW where Sid won the title from Bret Hart, the night after the Final Four. Not much to see here at all, except for the Hardy's lame choice in tights. - Carlito's RAW debut in an Intercontinental Championship match against Shelton Benjamin featured a hilarious botched somersault plancha, by Benjamin. It was one of the funnier botches I've seen, seeing as the guy didn't get hurt. And the match was **1/4, thankfully, as Carlito cheated to win at 9:07. I like Shelton Benjamin, but he always seems to have the most lax attitude in the entire promotion during his matches. - Umaga beat up Ric Flair in his RAW debut, the night after WM 22. Nothing really to mention here. - Santino Marella beat Umaga in a no-holds barred Intercontinental Championship match, during his debut in Milan, Italy. First, I loved the European football type atmosphere in the crowd. That was awesome. Second, Bobby Lashley is the exact opposite of what the WWE needs to have on TV. He looks like a black Scott Steiner. Anyway, Santino only won as a result of Bobby Lashley's interference. And there was really no way I could rate that "match." Ok, that was a pretty good selection to start with, given that you aren't going to get any great matches out of this bunch. It's a hell of a lot better than the WWE picking so many matches I've already seen or have last month. ___________________ Ok, next is Black Saturday, which I watched about an hour ago (when I typed this part, anyway) - Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch are awesome, although I already knew that. And the move they used to finish their squash tag match was incredible. Like a back suplex Doomsday Device. - George Steele is a heel is much better than the watered-down version that he became just a few years later. - Jesse Ventura's match was nothing special...that shouldn't be a surprise. - B.Brian Blair had an interview with Gene Okerlund, talking about challenging for the WWF Tag Titles...this was quickly followed by an interview with Alexis Smirnoff. I thought Smirnoff's faux Russian accent was brutal. - The Iron Sheik's squash match was fun, namely because of the chants, "Iran sucks" and "We Want Slaughter." Unfortunately, there was no appearance by Slaughter. - Bobo Brazil vs. Big John Studd was tough for me to pay attention to, because my cousin wouldn't leave me alone. It was entertaining, which is more than I thought I would say. Studd won with an elbowdrop. Overall, I can see why people were up in arms about this. And the suggestion that people were up in arms about this just because they were NWA purists is absurd. People were up in arms about this because an entire territory was GONE. I'd be pissed too if an entire roster of wrestlers that I watched and liked just disappeared. That doesn't really count for WCW, because while I watched them, I wanted them to die as a result of their stupidity. I may have been a mark, but I knew the score. Also, it became part of a storyline. This was never the case with Georgia Championship Wrestling. ___________________ Now, onto RAW, from 5/12/97. I'm using thehistoryofwwe.com to jumpstart my memory. The non-match stuff MAY be out of order. - The show started with the Hart Foundation giving an interview, Vince Russo style. By that, I mean the promo to open the show, which has become a staple in recent weeks. Anyhow, I'm already tired of them. Bret Hart isn't the best person to be giving interviews like this. While I love the guy, he just isn't. Anyway, nothing happened, they just went backstage after being booed. These should always be a vehicle for someone else to come out and either run them down/get ran down/make or announce a match, or for an attack. None of that happened here. - In a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, Ahmed Johnson beat HHH by Disqualification, when Chyna hit Ahmed with a steel chair. Now, I've gotta ask a question I don't want answered. How did HHH get back in the tournament if he lost? Anyway, we'll see, but it's going to be stupid regardless. - Scott Putski then faced Leif Cassidy...I hate Scott Putski. Putski won, and was attacked by Cassidy after the match. - LOD beat PG-13 in a squash, when the Nation chose who they were going to send out, they sent the two small white boys. I found it funny, for that reason. - The Undertaker defeated Savio Vega by DQ, after the Nation interfered and beat up Taker. The match sucked, and the lights took forever to go off during Undertaker's entrance. I'll get to the angles on the show at the end, after match thoughts. - RVD beat Jeff Hardy with a split-legged moonsault. He did a giant splash during the match, but that wasn't the finish. Of note (outside of RVD making an appearance on RAW) was RVD's entrance music, you know, the ECW song where Heyman goes all EXTREME....CHAMPIONSHIP....WRESTLING. It's in the FPR ECW videos, if you don't know what I'm talking about. - It was never announced whether this was a tag title match or not, but this elimination match was Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. The Headbangers vs. The New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon. The match was kinda shitty, because it cut to commercial in the middle. Owen and the Bulldog won the match, too. So I guess it didn't matter whether or not it was a title match. Now, for the angles/interviews, which are in no order, simply because it didn't matter. The Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels thing ended the show, as Hart was just talking to Shawn. That sucked. - Faarooq cut a promo in the ring, on the Undertaker. After that, the Undertaker cut a promo on Faarooq, on the TitanTron. This was after Taker's match. - Mankind came out along with a burnt Paul Bearer, to give the Undertaker a warning, before divulging a secret. I'm pretty sure what this leads to. - Steve Austin came out and cut a promo on Brian Pillman. You have to cut the ass off a snake first. So, for the Hart Foundation, he'll start with Brian Pillman. Best part of the show. - There was also Part 2 of that Dustin Rhodes interview, which I really didn't care about. I think that's it. Anyway, this show wasn't too hot. Next time I'll write this stuff down, because I'm sure I forgot something. That's why there aren't any star ratings. ___________________ Now, Nitro. - The Ultimo Dragon forced Juventud Guerrera to submit in a fun bout, for Dragon's TV Title. Juvi's mask sucks. This match didn't.disappoint, and ended with the Dragon Sleeper. - US Champ Dean Malenko defeated Steve McMichael, after interference from Reggie White. I never want to watch the Mongo/White match. Ever. Reggie White's appearances embarass me. Reggie cut a promo after the match. It sucked. - Wrath squashed Scotty Riggs. I hate Riggs. James Vandenburg came out, along with Mortis before the match, and Vandenburg told us Wrath's name. Glacier came out after the match, and looked menacing. Nobody cared. - In the last match, Hugh Morrus and Konnan defeated Ice Train and Alex Wright. Wright was totally uninterested in tagging with Ice Train. Teddy Long looked fat. Also, Morrus got cold feet before attempting to moonsault Ice Train. He got up top and went all...I can't do it. Ice Train blows. Also, I love when Alex Wright does that stupid dance. Makes me laugh every time. - For angles, Randy Savage came out and ran down DDP. Nothing in that. - Roddy Piper, Kevin Greene and Ric Flair come to the ring and talk...until Syxx, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall appeared on a video screen and ran them down, until the video cut to commercial. My original thought was, those guys are definitely in the building... - And then, the aformentioned members of the NWO attacked Roddy Piper. THOUGHT SO. - Lastly, Eric Bischoff and Fake Sting came to the ring, to make fun of/talk trash about the real Sting. So Sting comes down the aisleway, and beats up Fake Sting, which causes Eric Bischoff to run away. That ended the show. Neither was better this time. Both RAW and Nitro sucked. ___________________ Lastly, we have ECW. No, not the ECW on 24/7. The ECW that was on Sci-Fi last night. Yeah, I buckled, and I'm going to start watching WWE's product again. I knew this would happen. We'll see how it turns out. There are two reasons for this. 1. I am not missing Ric Flair's last run. No way, no how. 2. There are a few "younger" (meaning future stars) who I like, so I'd like to watch them, as well. Ok, so... - To start the show, Armando Alejandro Estrada brings out Chavo Guerrero. What's this about? Well, I guess Chavo got sick of hearing about CM Punk, or something. Anyway, the Cuban guy makes a match for later, which will be Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk, and if Chavo wins, he gets an ECW Title Shot. I really hate when a company books the, "if you win, you get a title shot" match. Just do. And also, where did Estrada's accent go? It's gone, isn't it. - Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore and Kelly Kelly defeated John Morrison, The Miz (both preceding are Smackdown Tag Team Champions), and Layla. During the ring entrances, I wondered, why am I watching this shit again? The reasons are self explanatory, if you watch the WWE. If you don't, well, Yang's entrance music is shit, John Morrison looks like a homosexual, and the Miz is the Miz. By, "John Morrison looks like a homosexual," I'm talking about during his entrance. There is absolutely no reason to slow down the video so that we can see his hair blow in the fake wind gusts that come out through the stage. The match was decent, and ended when Yang gave the Miz a moonsault block, for the pin. **1/4. Wang and Moore will face Morrison and the Miz in a 15 minutes of fame match next week, which entails that the team which wins the most falls will win the match. Anyway, the Miz sucks. - Then, Big Daddy V squashed some white kid. I don't know or care what his name was. - Shelton Benjamin beats James Curtis...this match was WAY too long. Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is cool, though, unlike his catch phrase. It was smart of him to change his hairstyle, it helps to distinguish him from any other generic wrestler. - Last, CM Punk defeated Chavo Guerrero by countout. I was flipping back and forth between Dirty Jobs and this during most of the matches, that's why there isn't a rating for anything but the first. Hey, I like Dirty Jobs. Great show. Chavo looks flabby without being on steroids. Drastically different, but that's ok. Don't do drugs. When there are games on (Lakers or Kings) I'll be flipping back and forth during these shows. But what I saw tonight was good, and I'll keep watching. A positive to the brand extension is that I can just ignore what I don't like watching. A negative is that I quit watching in the first place because I could just ignore shows I don't like watching. We'll see how long I keep watching for. Could only be until Flair retires, who knows. ___________________ So, yeah, that's what I've watched since the last review I posted. The next few of these may not be as in-depth as this one, I don't know. Just generally whatever I think about something, and sometimes, I don't think about anything during a particular match. This kinda turned into what I didn't want it to turn into towards the end. Too review-ish, but that was because I forgot a few things about RAW and Nitro. The next one will not be that way. I'll post the Bash at the Beach '94 review on Friday.