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Review: The first RAW, and other stuff. Yeah, boy.

First, we have RAW. I was watching the Laker game, so I tuned in at 9:48. I flipped over and saw HBK giving Trevor Murdoch SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and I know there was some Diva crap before that. There was some stuff with Orton and Hardy too, and they have an Intercontinental Title match later. Now, we begin. Again, this is an exact copy of my great notes.   The colors are to let you know that I'm talking about a different program. ___________________   When I tuned in, the first thing on was HHH vs. Snitsky. Boy oh boy.   - Snitsky is one ugly motherfucker. Not only that, but he makes these strange sounds while on offense. I don't like this guy, but I think he's funny. Why exactly is he in the WWE, again?   - Back from the commercial break, and that was probably a rough two minutes for the live crowd. I don't really want to think about it. JR calls Snitsky "Bowling Shoe Ugly." Well, I have to agree. At least there haven't been any restholds.   - Nevermind. There's a bearhug! On a PEDIGREE attempt, Snitsky backdropped HHH over the top rope. Then, he tries to hit HHH with the steel steps. He's unable to, though, as HHH gets disqualified by hitting Snitsky with a steel chair, at 10:06. HHH grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, hits Snitsky in the gut with it, and PEDIGREES him. Whoop-dee-doo. 1/2*...why was this 10 minutes, again. Anyway, HHH destroys the small screen below the actual TitanTron, and Vince allows him to go back into the Rumble, IF he wins his match next week. ___________________   JBL cut a promo on Chris Jericho next, in which he talked about Jericho's kids needing to know that his father's a coward. Then there's lots of pyro, to end the whole thing. ___________________   Next up was a 5 Man Royal Rumble, with 30 second intervals between appearances. This was some Hornswoggle thing, so I expect stupidity. And Lord, did I get it. The crowd can't even see the fuckin' thing, for one, second, nobody wants to watch a midget Royal Rumble. There was a mini-Kennedy, mini-Mankind, mini-Batista and mini-Kane. Lastly, Khali came out, but was beaten up by Finlay. -***** for that whole thing, I never want to discuss it again. Went about 7:50. Afterward, Finlay has a discussion with Vince, in which he says he doesn't want their deal to be broken. Uh... ___________________ How are they going to squeeze the main event and this Flair match into such a short time? Well, it's Ric Flair vs. William Regal.   - Both wrestlers come to the ring and we go to a commercial?   - Well, Flair cheats to win on a roll-up, while holding Regal's tights. Only 2:07 of the match was shown. This Flair stuff is being bungled beyond belief. Moreover, he's looking so worn down that I don't even think he'll be able to make it to WrestleMania. Just my opinion. Match was unrateable. ___________________   Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy in a match for the Intercontinental Title, yeah, yeah, yeah.   - Orton kicks Hardy in the nuts after 8 seconds, ending the match via disqualification. No rating, again. My original thought was, why give this match away on free TV? Well, they didn't, thankfully.   - Both men brawl to the stage, where Orton goes to punt Hardy in the head. Hardy gets up and backdrops him onto some sort of platform, a bit below the stage. I can't really do this angle justice, so bear with me. Hardy climbs up a support beam beside the stage, stops and...CLIMBS UP MORE. He's way up there. Then, he gives ORTON A FUCKING SWANTON BOMB, from about 15 feet up. Holy shit. This got over huge. HUGE, I tell you. JR and the King (no, not me) immediately stopped their commentary, as paramedics stretchered both men off to end the show. Hardy's gotta get the strap at the Rumble. GOTTA. He's their most over performer right now. What a good way to end a shitty show. Hardy's being put over so strong that this can't possibly be fucked up. He's been made into a star.   The show as a whole was terrible, but the ending was great. Meet in the middle and we'll call it decent. ___________________   I didn't have time to watch the show from MSG that was posted on 24/7. Sorry. I got a bit through it and fell asleep. Kerry Von Erich looked too young, even for him. ___________________   Next up, THE FIRST EVER MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Of all the updated stuff, I was waiting for this the most.   Sean Mooney starts things off, and you know, Bobby Heenan's not allowed in the building tonight. Rob Bartlett's on commentary instead. And the 1993 intro to the show is just as kickass as I remember it. ___________________   WELCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW. Commentary team is what you'd expect, Vince, Savage, and Bartlett.   Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji is our first match. Hey, the High Energy version of Koko.   - WHAT THE FUCK. I didn't realize that High Energy used what would stick around and become Owen Hart's music. Sorry, that threw me for a loop. I love Koko's ring attire.   - So, to sum things up, Yoko doesn't hit the canvas all match, and finishes things up with the BANZAI DROP at 3:46. *. Bartlett couldn't stop talking about Yoko's ass. Well, things like that are going to become commonplace throughout the show.   The promo for Royal Rumble 1993 is cool. Then we flash to Jim Ross talking about the importance of RAW to the business as a whole. Well, I agree there. ___________________   Bobby Heenan then cuts a pre-taped promo in which he talks about "Narcissus." It's a good thing they changed that to "Narcissist." The original was not the best.   That serves as our lead-in to The Executioners vs. the Steiner Brothers.   - The Executioners aren't important, so you missed nothing. The Steiners have this entrance music that I can't describe. Meaning that I don't know whether or not it's good. BTW, Doink the Clown is in the crowd. Good.   - Even then, Scott was really roided up. One of the Executioners blow an Irish whip, so they'll be punished for it. The Steiners fuck 'em up, as ECW fans would chant in the same building a few years later (though totally unrelated to the match at hand), and the bout ends via pinfall after Rick bulldogs one of the EX'S as they were seated on Scott's shoulders. I love that finisher, even if it probably injured a lot of guys. Thoroughly enjoyable contest, **. ___________________   Heenan's dressed as a woman, but he's not allowed in the building, as Mooney finds him out. Well, darn.   Edge talks...basically, whenever I say someone talks, it's about the importance of RAW. ___________________   Now we have an interview with Razor Ramon. I covered his accent in the PTW writeup from a few weeks before this, I think. Well, he's ready for the Rumble, MANG. Numero uno, mang, the #1 contender. He wanted this to be personal, so he attacked Owen on WWF Mania last week. After the interview's over, he tosses his toothpick at Vince. Yes!   Back at the announce table, the guys talk about Headlock on Hunger. And Tatanka has something to say about that. SPIRITS AND NONSENSE!!! ___________________   The next matchup is Max Moon vs. Shawn Michaels, for Shawn's Intercontinental Championship.   - I don't know what to say about Max Moon. He does some cool stuff, like a running seated senton off the apron to Shawn as Shawn was standing up at ringside, much later in the match.   - During the "commercial break," HBK talked about RAW. Yeah, they placed that in there.   - Doink comes to ringside, as Bartlett is doing this AWFUL Mike Tyson impersonation. What did we do to deserve that? I was surprised to see that this wasn't a squash. Shawn wins the bout, by gaining the pinfall after the SIDE SUPLEX. It's just a back suplex, but since Gorilla Monsoon took extra care to make sure it was called the Side Suplex, hell, I'm calling it the Side Suplex. **. 7:52 of the bout was shown, who knows how long the commercial was. I know I can steal use the time from thehistoryofwwe.com, but I don't want to. ___________________   HHH talks, and then...   We cut to a RUMBLE REPORT, with Gene Okerlund. Shawn Michaels will face Marty Jannetty, with Sensational Sherri at ringside. Shawn says that Sherri will most certainly be with him. Marty says he'll get everything he wants, including the Intercontinental Title, and that Shawn doesn't really know what Sherri's going to do. Now Okerlund starts listing a few (a lot, really) of the Royal Rumble participants, but I'll just list the guys who cut promos. Mr. Perfect said that he has a perfect opportunity to win the Rumble. Well, he didn't say that, I did, cause that's what he should've said. Mr. Fuji babbles on about how Yokozuna's going to win the Rumble, and lastly, Jim Duggan talks about how he'll win the Rumble. Tough guy this, tough guy that, USA, USA, HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN HOOOOOOO, alright. You know, the Rumble winner goes to WrestleMania this year. Also, Bret Hart faces Razor Ramon. But that's seemingly an afterthought, isn't it. ___________________   Heenan tries to sneak in AGAIN, this time as a Rabbi. I was so pumped up after that RUMBLE REPORT that I wrote Rabbi as "Rumble." I'd show you, but there are so many things on this piece of paper that I don't want you to see. Mooney catches Heenan again, so Heenan gets all upset.   Mick Foley talks about RAW, now. From what I've been told, Reverend Slick converted Kamala last week on WWF Mania. WHAT? I'm glad I haven't seen some of this stuff. ___________________   Our main event is DAMIEN DEMENTO vs. The Undertaker, with Paul Bearer as Taker's manager. I tuned out Bartlett after the Tyson stuff, so he could've been bad this whole time. I don't know.   - Vince thanks DON IMUS for Rob Bartlett being there. That explains a lot about Bartlett's awfulness, doesn't it.   - Well, it's a squash. Taker finishes it off with the TOMBSTONE at 2:25. *. ___________________   Vince talks about RAW, and how the live audience helped make the show what it is today. Definitely.   Doink comes to ringside, and talks about how he's not bothered by Crush. Crush comes out, and talks some trash, brah. Well, Doink squirts him with a water pistol (yes, I call it that), so Crush chases him. How is Doink supposed to be the heel in all this? The crowd at the Manhattan Center loves the gimmick. Crush chases Doink, but eventually, he leaves the poor guy alone, so we can listen to Crush's great entrance music. ___________________   I know I said that I pride myself on not being silly, but I really took it to another level with this show. I couldn't help it, because, after all, WWF 1993 IS silly. Don't worry, I won't do that again for a while, likely until another RAW or a WWF Superstars is posted from 1993. By my standards, that was a good show. I was entertained throughout, and by my "would I have liked it then, but with a smarkish mindset" standards, undoubtedly I would have. If you can, watch it. If you can't watch it, find it. Unless you've seen it already, or have it on video. ___________________   Last, I watched WWECW, last night. ___________________   The "Cutting Edge" opened the show. Yeah, that's some interview segment with Edge as the host. Edge talks about the Rumble, and when mentioning Rey Mysterio, you immediately notice that there's a lot of kids in the crowd. Like, a whole lot. This'll have something to do with what I say later. Anyhow, he shows us what happened last week on Smackdown, when he and the Edgeheads beat up Rey Mysterio after Rey's match with Chavo Guerrero. So, this somehow gets to the point where CM Punk is the guest. Edge says he's been watching Punk, and that he reminds Edge of himself. Punk says he respects his opponents, but he can beat Chavo if he faces him again. And he can beat Edge too. Chavo then comes out, and challenges Punk. Punk accepts, but is pushed by Chavo into Edge. Then Punk gets his ass beat, and his shoulder gets rammed into the post by both guys, who then leave with the damage done. I didn't know what to think about that, on one hand, you gave the guy no rub from a confrontation with Edge, secondly, you took all the heat away from Chavo, who's in the middle of this program. Unless we're getting to Edge/Punk in the near future, I don't like this at all.   After the commercial break, Edge leaves. That means he'll be there later. ___________________   The next match is a tag team match, with the Highlanders facing John Morrison and the Miz. I don't know if this was a WWE Tag Team Title match or not.   - Miz and Morrison need to start entering together. It's tiresome to watch tag team partners have two separate entrances. Yeah, "they have big egos." So what. Make them argue over how they enter or something.   - I don't understand why the Highlanders are here, and why they're playing pseudo-babyfaces. Pseudo because nobody is cheering them, see.   - Of the two Highlanders, I like Robbie better. The match finishes after the Reality Check (kneelift, neckbreaker) at 2:57. *1/2. That finisher sucks, but I expected it, given that the Miz is the guy who does it. ___________________   Here's another Kofi Kingston vignette. It won't be hard for him to get over, because the general public (AFAIK) likes the whole Jamaican thing. I expect great things from him, given what I've read about his in-ring work. He debuts next week, on ECW. Good. Perfect show to debut him on. ___________________   Kelly Kelly comes out, and talks about HD. Then she disrobes. Anyone watching the show saw what she was wearing, and if you didn't, don't worry, it was nothing much. Literally. I kinda have a problem with this, given the number of kids in the crowd. If you want the product to be marketed toward kids, which given characters like Hornswoggle is what they want, do that, and get rid of this. You want to show this stuff, stop with the kid oriented stuff. Make up your mind. ___________________   The white guy from the past few weeks is with Tazz again. He'll be facing Kane this time. Chokeslam finishes after 1 minute. 1/2*. I don't know about the rest of us, but I'm starting to get bored by this.   The ECW GM, that Estrada guy, is with CM Punk. The match will go on. Well, duh. ___________________   The injury report from Hardy's dive last night is that Hardy left the hospital before being evaluated, and Orton had to stay overnight. They're putting over Hardy so strong in this whole thing that I have a hard time believing he won't win at MSG. It's unfortunate that WrestleMania is coming up, seeing as HHH is probably going to win the Rumble. The trigger was probably pulled too quickly on this feud, but it should go until No Way Out at the least. ___________________   So, it's Shelton Benjamin vs. Nunzio.   - Hey, someone from actual ECW. Have I mentioned that Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is great?   - Shelton's inverted bulldog finishes at 3:05. Move needs a name, and I think Tazz gave it one, inadvertently so. "The Gold Standard." After the match, Shelton grabs a mic, then says, THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOWWWWWW, and gives him another inverted bulldog. I know a few people hate that catchphrase, but I love it. His voice cracked toward the end, making it that much better. *1/2. ___________________   Now we have our main event, Chavo's 3rd Chance, featuring him taking on CM Punk. Taken directly from my notes, to let you know what I was thinking about the booking here.   - Punk's favoring his shoulder, of course. I don't like this, because I suppose it hurts Chavo's....status. While he's not been portrayed as strong, there needs to be incentive to care about the eventual title match, so winning semi-clean is the only acceptable course of action.   - There's Edge, going on commentary. Told ya so. A good thing is, with Edge there, people aren't going to lose focus on the match, or leave, like last time. We're going to have another long overrun, which is ok. I don't like knowing exactly when the show will end.   - When Chavo punches, it looks SO weak. Why that is, who knows. It's like he's too cautious. Each of these matches have been distinctly different, which is good. This one is better than the other two, I believe. Punk gets tossed outside, and clobbered in the head by Edge's World Heavyweight Title. So, Chavo wins by countout, at 11:18. **3/4. That was pretty much the worst ending possible. Let's look at the possible options.   Draw. Yeah, right. Punk wins. That's fine. Punk loses by DQ, after Edge hits Chavo with his title. That's ok. Chavo gets the pinfall, clean. Not happening. Chavo gets the pinfall, after Edge interference, and his own finisher. Best possible option. Chavo wins via an arm-oriented submission. This is ok, too. Chavo wins by countout, while having no direct impact on the end of the match at all. Dogshit.   Again, why should I care about the title match? It doesn't do anything for either participant, and given the booking, I doubt this match will happen at the Rumble. If it does, it won't be of any length. Tazz said that Chavo would probably want to have his title shot next week, given his mindset. Punk isn't going to face Edge anytime soon, so...I don't get it. If he did face Edge, he'd only lose. That shouldn't even be an option, but it's the only way this thing will go. He's not going to get a rub from it either, as it could only last until No Way Out. It'll never go to WrestleMania. ___________________   Anyway, that was a shitty ending to a pretty good match. Decent show. In the next installment, I'll have a whole bunch of stuff to read, including my thoughts on Smackdown. But first, the HHH/HBK RAW has to go up, which it will, tomorrow. I'm not typing up anything about the first ECW on TNN show, because it was basically a clip show. The segments on that will be reviewed on it's own merit when posted on it's original program, whether it be Hardcore Heaven '99 in the case of Lynn/RVD, or wherever that Taz/Rhyno match came from.
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Review: Shorties Section from the update of 11/14.

Shorties section, and the lineup looks different, to say the least. But FIRST, that Piper vs. Hogan match needs to be reviewed. So, here. ___________________   From The War to Settle the Score on February 18th from Madison Square Garden, which aired on MTV, it's Roddy Piper w/Bob Orton against Hulk Hogan w/Cyndi Lauper & Captain Lou Albano, for Hogan's WWF Title. Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund are on commentary.   Blow-by-blow: Bagpipes play as Piper makes his way to the ring, and BOB COSTAS (you wouldn't see this now) introduces both Piper and Hogan. Piper breaks a guitar before the match, to let everyone know what he thinks of rock and roll music. Piper then does the Snuka "I love you" thing, obviously making fun of the Superfly. Hogan's well known "Real American" music is dubbed in. I'm sure of it. Hogan shakes Mr. T's hand before the bout, and we'll see why in a little bit. Piper tears his shirt off and throws it into the crowd, and once someone grabs the shirt, a couple people fight over it. Real mature. Both wrestlers brawl at the beginning of the match, and Hogan gives Piper a back elbow after getting the better of the fight. Hogan slams Piper twice, and then elbowdrops him. Hogan bites Piper, as I notice that Hogan has a lot more hair than I'm used to seeing him have. Piper clotheslines Hogan, and gets a 2 count. Piper double thrusts Hogan in the throat, and applies the sleeper. Hogan breaks the hold, after powering out and lowering his head while running into the buckle, putting Piper's head into the buckle. Orton gets up on the ring apron and chokes Hogan as the referee is distracted, but Hogan rams Orton's broken arm into the ringpost. Paul Orndorff makes his way to ringside, as Hogan gives Piper an atomic drop. Ref bump time as Piper pushes Hogan, so Orndorff comes in and stomps on Hogan, after which he gives Hogan a kneedrop from the top rope. Lauper gets up on the apron, so Orndorff and Piper stalk her, apparently acting like they're going to beat her up. Mr. T helps Lauper down, and gets in the ring. Crowd went nuts for that. Piper and Orndorff attack Mr. T, until Hogan finally gets up, and Hogan pulls the heels off T. And now, we see T and Hogan staredown Piper and Orndorff, giving away what the WrestleMania main event will be. The police come in the ring before the 4 can throwdown, at around 7:12. Hogan wants Piper and Orndorff now, but they don't oblige, walking to the back instead. Hogan wins the bout by DQ, but who cares about that. It's all about Mr. T getting involved, now. T, Hogan and Lauper celebrate, and that's it.   Match Analysis: *1/4, but how the match was wasn't really the point. It was just a vehicle to get Mr. T and Hogan vs. Piper and Orndorff set up. Anyway, I hadn't seen this before, and it was a fun watch. ___________________   From WrestleMania 2 in Chicago, we have a battle royal, and the participants are Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Ted Arcidi, King Tonga, Hillbilly Jim, Big John Studd, Tony Atlas, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Danny Spivey, Pedro Morales, BRUNO Sammartino, the Iron Sheik, Jimbo Covert, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, Ernie Holmes, Harvey Martin, THE FRIDGE, and Andre the Giant.   This one really is impossible to review, unlike the one at the MSG show I reviewed a couple weeks ago. The total combined weight of the wrestlers involved...5,612 pounds. Yo. Order of elimination goes like this...Tonga, Covert, Holmes, Brunzell, Atlas, Morales, Martin, Arcidi (at this point, I notice that Fridge is wearing a thong. Gross.), Spivey, Blair and Hillbilly, Fralic, Sheik, Bruno, and then, it gets easier to review. Studd dumps Fridge, but Fridge pulls Studd out after a handshake. Bret, Francis, Neidhart and Andre are left, and a double dropkick by the Hart Foundation ties Andre up in the ropes, and then, Francis gets eliminated. Andre gives Bret a big boot, then rams the Harts heads into each other. Neidhart gets dumped, and then Andre press slams Bret to the floor, where he lands on Neidhart. Andre wins the battle royal, which was a given. 8/10, the uniqueness of having football players involved made it worth watching. ___________________   I've already said I'm a big WCW 1992-93 fan. Well, I am awaiting the next two matches. This match is from Superbrawl II in Milwaukee, it's CACTUS JACK vs. Ron Simmons. Huge Foley fan here, I don't care if people don't like him being on WWE programming now or in other recent times. I also don't know why people get all mad about things like that, but anyway. Jesse Ventura's commentary is intact.   Blow-by-blow: Simmons is supposed to be a babyface, well, he gets booed. They really love Cactus Jack, just hate Simmons, or weren't inclined to cheer for a black guy. Just sayin'. Cactus starts the match with an eye rake, but Simmons misses a charge into the corner. Cactus attempts to do the Cactus Clothesline, but does the spot where he hangs himself by his neck in the ropes. Impressive visual. Jesse whines about Simmons not helping Cactus out of his predicament, even though Simmons was doing exactly what Jesse wanted. Cactus tries to run into the crowd, and Simmons catches up to him and rams him into the guardrail. Simmons smashes Cactus' face into the canvas, and slams him on the inside. A Simmons legdrop gets 2, Cactus gives him an elbow afterward, and a clothesline. We see that the Junkyard Dog is in the crowd, as Cactus gives Simmons a double arm DDT. A Cactus legdrop gets 2, and he dumps Simmons. He slams Simmons on the outside, and goes up to the 2nd rope. YES! CACTUS ELBOW, no wonder this guy's body was so screwed up. Cactus chokes Simmons along the top rope, then Simmons misses a dropkick. Cactus goes to the chinlock, but gets belly-to-belly'd as Simmons begins his comeback. Simmons tries to dive onto Cactus, but flies onto the entrance ramp that WCW always had attached to the ring in those days. Cactus comes out after Simmons, but gets spinebustered by Simmons, on the ramp. Yeesh. Back in the ring, Cactus gives Simmons a bulldog, and goes up to the 2nd rope. Simmons catches him coming off the turnbuckle and powerslams him for the win, at 6:30.   After the match, ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER comes down the ramp, and into the ring. Things like this ARE why I liked WCW during that time period. It was ridiculous. Abby acts like he's going to hit Cactus with his staff, but instead, he hits Simmons with it. See, Simmons and Abby had teamed up a few times, after Cactus and Abby had a dispute about Abby being "electrocuted" at Halloween Havoc 1991. But now, Abby shows his true colors. Junkyard Dog decides to make his way to the ring, beating up security on the way. He saves Simmons from the beating, and gives Abby and Cactus a piece of their own medicine. JR says, "this is like fightin' in the hood." I really laughed at that one, but this time, didn't feel guilty about it.   Match Analysis: The angle after the match was awesome, so although the match wasn't spectacular, I'm glad WWE 24/7 stuck around to show us the angle. The match was **, and most of that is for Cactus' wild bumps. WCW was so over the top then that it was a joy to watch, and moreover, their tag team division was probably the best (workrate wise) there's ever been. ___________________   From Clash of the Champions XIX, as part of the Quarterfinals for the NWA Tag Team Championship, it's Terry Gordy and Dr. Death Steve Williams vs. Rick and Scott Steiner. The tournament finished up at Great American Bash '92, for those who are interested. By that I mean, the tournament took up the entire PPV, outside of a Sting/Vader match Awful, awful idea. The tournament had "representatives" from different countries. You know, to reinforce the concept of the NWA being a world organization, and all.   Blow-by-blow: Gordy and Rick start, and they trade amateur wrestling moves for about 6 or 7 minutes. If you don't like amateur wrestling, you won't like the match. Gordy tries a half crab during that sequence, and Rick gets to the ropes. Scott comes in and tries a belly-to-belly, but can't get it, as Gordy backdrops him instead. Scott tries to bridge out of the pinning attempt, but Gordy's so damn big that he just can't do it. Scott gives Gordy a t-bone suplex instead, and now, Dr. Death tags in. Williams takes Scott down, but they wind up in the ropes. Rick tags in and gives Williams a belly-to-belly, then takes him down. Williams slaps Rick across the face once he comes in, and gives him a huge lariat, which Rick sells with a backflip. Yeah, Rick Steiner just backflipped off a clothesline. I was surprised. Gordy comes in, and clotheslines Rick again for a 2 count. Rick gives Gordy a belly-to-belly on a counter move, then Scott tags in. Scott gives Gordy a backdrop and STEINERLINE, then does that front underhook suplex of his. It's not a powerbomb, he just drops the guy to the side. So, suplex. Scott misses a dropkick, so Gordy applies an STF. Terry lets go of the hold and tags in Williams, who sticks out his knee for Gordy to drop Scott Steiner on. Williams gives him a backbreaker for two, and takes out the leg of Scott. The left knee is the body part which is in pain in this match. Gordy tags in and gets a powerslam, before applying a leg grapevine. He breaks the hold and tags Williams in, who along with Gordy, gets in a 3 point stance and delivers a shoulderblock to Scott. Scott dropkicks Williams as his leg was being held, and tags in Rick. The referee doesn't see it, though. Rick lines Williams out, then brawls with Gordy. Afterward, he powerslams Williams, but the referee never saw the tag. Outside the ring, Scott Steiner gets chopblocked on his bad knee, and Rick's still brawling with Gordy. Williams gives Scott a press slam which turns into a powerslam for 2, and then Scott gets his leg taken out by Gordy as the referees back is turned, leading to the pinfall for Gordy and Williams at 15:13.   Match Analysis: Hate, hate, hate that finish. Always hated it. It came out of nowhere, just when the match was starting to get good. Hopefully the Beach Blast '92 match is better, and hopefully we get to see it soon. **3/4. IMO, that's pretty much the definition of a match that gets a 3/4. Something about the match has to be off (in this case, the finish) OR it has to be lacking that extra something to give it a boost. I think I've explained myself. ___________________   From Great American Bash 1997, it's Kevin Greene vs. Mongo McMichael w/Debra.   Blow-by-blow: JR said the match was bowling shoe ugly, well, we'll see. Greene sprints into the ring, and gives Mongo a forearm and clothesline. Mongo bails, and trips Greene, then smashes Greene's knee into the ring apron. He rubs Greene's face into the mat, and taunts Greene's mother, who's in the crowd. Mongo brings Greene over to his mother, who hits Mongo with her purse. I laughed. The crowd chants "MONGO," cause they're in Illinois and all. Mongo's a former Chicago Bear, see. Mongo kicks Greene in the ribs, and gives him a neckbreaker for 2. Greene gets a Thesz Press, but when he charges into Mongo again, Mongo gives him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Greene gives him a 10 punch in the corner after a few rights, but is given an inverted atomic drop by Mongo. Mongo gets a dropkick for 2, and whips Greene hard into the buckle. He twists Greene's ankle, as Dusty slips in a Benoit reference during the match. Greene comes back with a dropkick, and goes to the top for a clothesline that gets 2, only 2 because Mongo's foot was on the bottom rope. Greene clotheslines him over the top rope, and gives him a bodyslam. Debra tries to show some skin in order to distract Greene, but that doesn't do anything. On the inside, Greene misses a charge towards the corner, so Mongo starts choking him. Jeff Jarrett comes down to the ring, and hits Mongo with the briefcase on accident. OOPS. Greene pins Mongo at 9:22, and gets the win.   Match Analysis: This is pretty much what led to Jarrett being kicked out of the Horsemen, in case you were wondering. JR's on crack. The match wasn't bad, it was probably the best singles match I've seen with Mongo involved. I'm dead serious. *3/4. ___________________   From Wrestlemania X7, the last match in the shorties section this month is The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin, for The Rock's WWF Title. The match is no disqualification.   Blow-by-blow: Austin's music is changed back from the Disturbed version, to the version we all know well. Bothers me a little. The Rock gets booed, as we know. I think all of us have seen this match. Austin misses a belt shot at the start of the match, and Thesz Presses the Rock. Austin with an elbowdrop, but as he runs the ropes again, Rock gives him a swinging neckbreaker. Both try for the Stunner, until Austin tosses the Rock out of the ring. And Rocky hit the floor HARD. They brawl into the crowd, and trade punches, before they come back to the ring. Austin's face gets rammed into the announce table, but he comes back with a clothesline. The crowd is so rabid for this match, words can't really describe it. Austin scrapes the face of Rocky with his knee brace, and on the inside, as Rocky's draped along the 2nd rope, Austin jumps on him and gets a 2 count. An Austin superplex gets two, and guys...we aren't even 5:00 into the bout yet. Austin takes the buckle pad off, but Rocky gives him a flying forearm. A belly-to-belly throw by the Rock gets 2, and then he clotheslines Austin over the top rope. He scares the referee away after ramming Austin into the table, but gets hit by the ring bell and blades. There's hardly any blood. The Rock climbs on the table, as if trying to get away, but falls through it. Back in, Austin tries to ram Rocky into the exposed turnbuckle, but he's unable to, so Austin gets a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Austin STOMPS A MUDHOLE WALKIN IT DRY on the Rock, but gets clotheslined after arguing with the ref for a bit. Finally, the ROCK rams Austin into the exposed turnbuckle, and returns the favor from earlier, hitting Austin with the ringbell. Now Austin's bleeding, as Rocky's cover gets a 2 count. Rocky beats Austin up, all the way around the ring. He elbows Austin twice, as Austin's on the apron. Austin fights back BAH GAWD, and slams Rocky on the barrier outside the ring. He slingshots Rocky into the post, and hits him with a television monitor. Now Rocky's bleeding, but I've got the feeling it was fake blood. He and Hebner were awfully close to each other after Rocky got hit with the monitor, and for a long time too. Plus, why would he blade twice when he has to shoot a movie? He wouldn't. On the inside, Rocky applies the SHARPSHOOTER. Well, they're going for WrestleMania 13 here. The visuals work. After, they do the same with Rocky caught in the SHARPSHOOTER, thanks to Austin. Funny little spot. Rocky gets out of the move, but Austin applies the SHARPSHOOTER again. Rocky gets to the ropes, but there's no DQ. So, Austin flips the bird at Hebner. Austin breaks the hold, and goes for the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM. Rocky does the spot where he kicks off the turnbuckle to put Austin in a pinning predicament, but only gets two. They're going for really obscure shit here, that the casual fan just isn't going to notice. I like that. Rocky gets the STONE COLD STUNNER for a 2 count, so Vince McMahon decides to grace us with his presence at ringside. An Austin spinebuster gets 2, so Rocky returns the favor with a spinebuster of his own, which leads to...THE PEOPLE'S ELBOWii! It only gets a 2 count though, because that dastardly Mr. McMahon pulled the Rock off during the count. Rock chases Vince, but as he gets back into the ring, he hits ROCK BOTTOM, thanks to Austin. Austin's cover only gets 2, so he tries the STUNNER. Can't get that, as Rocky pushes him into Hebner. Ref bump time. Austin gives Rock a lowblow, then holds the Rock for Vince to hit him with a chair, which he does. The first time I saw this match, live, I thought for sure that Vince would hit Austin. The ref's out for the count, but when he wakes up, Austin's cover gets 2. Rock gets a ROCK BOTTOM, but Vince distracts the official. Rocky punches Vince, but gets STUNNED as he turns around. His sell of the move is so ridiculous, but I like it. It gets a 2 COUNT, the crowd really thought the match was over. Austin gets handed a chair by Vince, but the single chairshot gets 2. He's thinking, "what does it take?" Finally, Austin says "fuck it," hits Rocky 16 TIMES with the chair, and pins him for the win at 28:07. The program shows Vince and Austin shaking hands, but not the beer drinking that comes afterward.   Match Analysis: It's the best WWF Title match ever. Do I need to say more? *****, and I liked the ending, contrary to what most people think. All the spots were well done, and fake blood doesn't bother me. After all, it's a fake sport. ___________________   For the shorties and Piper section over the whole month...   Rating: Great. Selection MAYBE could have been better, so no full rating. I would've liked to see something different than the William Perry thing. There was a lot to choose from.   Best Match: The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Duh.   Worst Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper in a boxing match. This match was dogshit, so, when WrestleMania 2 gets reviewed, I'll review it.   Can't do loudest sound on this...kinda irrelevant. ___________________   Well, ECW will be up next. I want to do Survivor Series '95, but I have to wait.
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Review: Shorties Section from the update of 11/1.

I'm really amped for this set of matches. I've never seen Vader/Flair.   Again, in chronological order... ___________________   From March 1st, 1976, it's "The Big Cat" Ernie Ladd vs. Bruno Sammartino, for the WWWF Championship. Of course, Bruno's the champ. On this same show, Ric Flair made his MSG debut.   Blow-by-blow: Ladd played at Grambling, and for the Chargers in the AFL, so it fits with the football theme 24/7 has goin' on. Ladd's gigantic. One of the biggest wrestlers I've ever seen. Bruno armdrags Ladd twice, but during the armbar that occurs after each armdrag, Ladd winds up in the ropes. Ladd grabs onto a bearhug and gets a few 2 counts as Bruno's down on the mat, while cheating by putting his feet on the ropes. The official sees the cheating each time, so Ladd breaks the hold, then hipblocks Bruno. Ladd chokes Bruno while shielding the actual choke from the ref, and once the official finally catches him, he hits Bruno in the throat 3 times. Bruno comes back and knocks Ladd over the top rope with a few punches, and Bruno chokes Ladd with his boot. Wait a sec. Isn't Ladd the heel? Strange to see a babyface resort to those tactics in that era... Bruno with a backdrop (Ladd looks funny doing the front flip over. His legs are HIGH in the air. Think Andre.), and Bruno rams Ladd's face into the mat. Ladd grabs a foreign object out of his trunks, and continually hits Bruno with it. Ladd football tackles Bruno twice, then gives him two legdrops. Ladd slams Bruno and heads up to the top rope. He misses a big splash, and gets pinned at 10:19. Apparently the match is clipped, because the announcer said 11:25. I don't believe it, though.   Match Analysis: The rating scale is different for matches that take place pre-1980. For me, anyway. Of course, most would say this match was a DUD. No. *3/4. The ending docks 1/4. Wrestling was different then, so my ratings should be too. The ending came out of nowhere, and I really didn't like it. Prior to that, it was solid. ___________________   I'm not reviewing the Pillman match. Let me explain why.   1. I don't like Stampede Wrestling. The camera makes me nauseous. I don't know why. To some of you, that probably makes me a bad person.   2. It's a 6 man tag, in a promotion in which I don't know the participants. Automatic grounds for a non-review. Sorry. I might come back and do the review in the next week or two, but I doubt it. ___________________   The next match is from Wrestlemania XI, and it's Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Yes, I'm saving Vader/Flair for last, and this is exactly how I watched them. Taylor brought a bunch of linebackers with him, and Bigelow brought the Million Dollar Corporation. Pat Patterson's the special referee, and Jim Ross enlightens us with the fact that Patterson trained LT. No, not on the actual match broadcast. He would've been taken out back and shot had he said that. I'm one to assume that the reason Patterson is the ref IS because he trained LT. That's why there are special referees in a lot of these celebrity matches, see. That's a guess.   Blow-by-blow: Bam Bam shoves LT, and LT slaps him. LT gives a flying fist to the face of Bam Bam, and he clotheslines Bam Bam over the top rope. Bam Bam misses a charge, and LT gets a bulldog for 2. You know they've shown too many highlight clips of this match when I can remember every spot and I've only seen the match once before this. And I mean, I can remember every spot, exactly as it takes place. Ring position and all. Bam Bam comes back in, and gets hiptossed right back out. The linebackers and the Corporation mix things up, although they don't fight, and Bam Bam takes control. Bam Bam headbutts LT and bodyslams him, then LT gets raked in the eyes. LT is really good at acting like it's a real match. It's sorta business exposing, but he fights with Bigelow for every single move. Even on punches. Bam Bam goes for a Boston crab and gets it, but his weight makes it so that he has to go to a half crab. He can't stay in a squat position for a long period of time, obviously. Bam Bam pulls LT away from the ropes, and applies a variation of the indian deathlock. LT makes the ropes and Bam Bam applies a headlock, but LT back suplexes him out of it. That's an awfully dangerous move for someone with little-to-no wrestling experience to be trying. Bam Bam headbutts Taylor twice, then gives him a legdrop and his (strange looking) moonsault for a one count, only a one count because Bam Bam sold the knee and couldn't cover LT. LT with a gutwrench suplex that looked blown, like he was going to powerbomb or piledrive Bam Bam. Bam Bam with an enziguri and a headbutt, and he goes up top for a DIVING headbutt that gets a 2 count. LT with some shoulder charges in the buckle, then he goes up to the 2nd rope and hits Bigelow with a flying punch for the 3 count at 11:43. DiBiase's embarassed, cause Bigelow got beat by a football player.   Match Analysis: I don't know why Bigelow agreed to do the job. Personally, I would have had it written into my contract that I'd have a run as champion, honestly. If such a thing could occur, but Vince would probably have changed the name of the title. Bigelow should be embarassed, and the WWF should have been too. The pop for LT's win was embarassing. Non-existant, at that. **. ___________________   From Nitro, on the night of July 6th, 1998, we have one of the dumbest business decisions in the history of this country...yes, I said this country, not just the wrestling business; it's Goldberg vs the champ, HOLLYWOOD HOGAN BROTHER, for the WCW Heavyweight Championship. Goldberg beat Scott Hall earlier in the night, so he's "107-0." Apparently JR officiated one of Goldberg's high school football games. That's neat.   Blow-by-blow: So, during Hogan's entrance, he says "he's going to kick GOLDBERG'S......(long pause) BUTT." Watch the clip, and you'll laugh. Hogan also looks like he's wearing a sock on his head. Goldberg starts off with a headlock and shoulderblock, then Hogan grabs onto Goldberg with a front facelock. The TEST OF STRENGTH follows, and Goldberg wins. Hogan gets to the ropes and begins to SCRATCH THE BACK of Goldberg, then he breaks out his weightlifting belt and hits Goldberg with it twice. Goldberg steals the belt, then throws it out of the ring. Goldberg doesn't need that shit. Goldberg applies a full nelson, but Hogan lifts his leg back in order to kick Goldberg in the nuts. Hogan with a clothesline and chokehold, then a scoop slam. He misses an elbowdrop, and gets clotheslined. Hogan bails, and puts his belt back on. Hogan comes back in and dumps Goldberg to the floor, then tosses him into the guardrail. Hogan hits him with a chair three times (this is the kinda shit WCW did that makes no sense. They let this go at random, then disqualify someone for the same thing 20 minutes later.), and on the inside, Hogan slams Goldberg and DROPS THE FUCKING LEG twice. For some reason that again, makes no sense, Curt Hennig's on his way to the ring, when Hogan seemingly has the match in hand. Why? Anyway, Karl Malone and DDP follow, and Malone gives Hennig a good looking DIAMOND CUTTER at ringside. Goldberg kicks out of the cover by Hogan, SPEARS HIM, and looks mean for a little bit. Then, Goldberg JACKHAMMERS him for the pin at 8:12. The commentary in this match was really, REALLY good.   Match Analysis: Let's get the rating out of the way. *. Dumbest thing ever. Ever. Even more dumb is that these two NEVER headlined a PPV against one another. The most surprising thing...Hogan never got his job back, and he did this one CLEAN. If I'm wrong about him not getting his job back, correct me. I'm pretty sure that I'm right, though. When this Nitro gets posted, I'll ramble about this for a long time. Not now. ___________________   The last match I watched yesterday was from Starrcade '93, and it was Ric Flair vs. Big Van Vader, the WCW World Champion. Not the WCW International World Champion. I can't explain, because I have to keep people interested for when entire shows are posted, and not individual matches. That way, I'll be able to save my thoughts about the whole thing, and summarize it. It's a title match, and that DOES need to be noted, cause this was WCW. You never know unless you're told, and even then, you still don't know. Harley Race comes along with Vader, btw. If Flair does not win this match, he must retire.   A little note before the match, the commentary is awesome. AWESOME. Jesse Ventura's commentary is included, so that's a plus. WCW in 1992 and 1993 is also great. Pre-WWF 2000, find me a better workrate period in this country. Can you? I don't care what the haters say.   Blow-by-blow: Vader poses before the match, and the Flair chants start early. They lock-up twice, and each time, Vader tosses Flair across the ring. Flair bails and Vader chases, but that's what Flair wants. So Vader quits running, and calmly enters the ring. Vader headbutts him, and applies a knucklelock. Vader then slaps Flair and clotheslines him, and says, "FLAIR AIN'T MAN ENOUGH FOR THIS." I love Vader's running commentary of his own matches (all quotes from him will be capitalized, along with the usual stuff). There isn't enough of that going on in wrestling today. The fans are dead-ass quiet during Vader's offense. Not because he isn't over. But because they're scared shitless of him. Flair chops Vader, and Vader pushes him out of the way. Flair tries to run away, but Vader catches him and press slams him into the guardrail. The ring seems sorta large for WCW, I have to say. "WHO'S DA MAN," but Flair comes back and runs Vader into the ringpost on the outside. Harley Race gives Flair a big left hand, and Vader standing suplexes Flair into the ring, and then as Flair tries to bail, he does it again. Standing suplexes are when the suplex'er' doesn't go down to the canvas. Vader headbutts Flair, then beats him up with left and right hands. Vader whips Flair into the buckle and we have a Flair Flip, as he tumbles to the concrete floor after nearly colliding with a cameraman. Vader with a stiff LARIAT (yeah, "lariat" when it's stiff, clothesline when its not. duh), but Flair begins to chop him. Vader sells nothing, with a grin on his face. Gotta love him. Vader gives Flair a rough looking fall-down slam, and a clothesline from the 2nd rope. Vader then taunts the crowd, but I can't tell exactly what he said. He takes Flair down, then goes up to the 2nd rope and misses a big splash. Flair gives Vader three overhand flying chops, the 2nd of which didn't even touch Vader. At least he didn't sell it. The third one puts Vader down, and then Flair gives Vader a kneedrop. I'm loving this match. Vader comes back with a clothesline and superplex, after which, he screams, "WHO'S DA MAN." Flair's mouth is bloody, and I don't believe it to be of the blood capsule variety given the nature of Vader's work, so there. Vader misses a splash, unfortunately for Flair, he tries to run into Vader and Vader trucks him. Ouch. Harley stomps on the face of Flair outside the ring, then steps on Flair's throat. See, Harley and Flair had a cage match at Starrcade 1983, which was the first Starrcade. That was 10 years before this, and Flair took the title from Harley for the last time. Meaning that Race never got it back, obviously. So, the random attacks make sense. For a lot of reasons, that among them. Just a small part of a great story being told. In the ring, Vader misses an avalanche after a few chops from Flair. Flair chops him more, but this time, he gets avalanched. Harley tells Flair that "he should quit," and Vader grabs onto that knucklelock again. Flair puts Vader down again with left hands, right hands and some chops, and somewhere in this sequence, Vader's mask comes off. It looks like Vader's having that problem with his eye again. It's not coming out like during that Hansen match, but it's really swollen. After a bit, he starts bleeding from above the eye, probably because Flair potatoed him. Well, Vader did it to Flair, so...Flair rams Vader's left leg into the ringpost, and grabs a chair. Harley's distracting the ref because he has a look on this face that leads the referee to believe Harley's going to punch Flair, and Flair hits Vader with the chair on Vader's left leg, and then onto the head. Back inside, Flair bites Vader, jumps on Vader's left leg, and attempts to apply the FIGURE-FOUR. Vader kicks Flair away from him, though, and tries to go up for the VADER BOMB. Unfortunately for him, he misses. Flair locks on the FIGURE-FOUR, and Harley jumps onto the ring apron. See, kids, this is what a manager is supposed to be. He doesn't steal the heat, he makes people hate VADER more. Not so much himself. Vader reaches the ropes and gives Flair a big boot and elbow to the gut, as he goes up for the MOONSAULT. Holy freaking fuck, he misses and Flair tries to cover him, so Harley goes up top and misses a diving headbutt. OLD MEN ARE FLYING!!!! The referee shoves Race out of the ring, and the crowd goes nuts. Anyway, Flair gets a flying forearm and Vader trucks Flair again, but this time, Vader comes up a little woozy, presumably from Race's headbutt, trips over Flair, and gets rolled up by Flair for what is announced as #11, at 21:09.   He still held the belt when the NWA left WCW, but the NWA stripped him. That's how he lost world titleholder status during that time.. Counting WWF Titles, this was number 14. By my count, others vary. Here are his title wins up to that point, over Dusty, Race, Race again, Kerry, Dusty, Garvin, Steamboat, Sting, WCW proclaimed him champ (+1), Fujinami, Royal Rumble, Savage, Windham, Vader. That's just my opinion. Others definitely vary. His loss to the Midnight Rider in Florida really doesn't count. Anyway...   Match Analysis: Perfect ending to a great match. It wouldn't have made sense to have Vader quit, so that finish is out. Flair can't retire, so that's out. Harley can't directly cost Vader the match, but he has to play a part, given the history he has with Flair. Vader can't get pinned on anything that doesn't look flukish, given his monster heel status. So, Flair trips him and pins him. Simple, right? Of course it is. ****1/2. Hard to give it full marks because it started sorta slow, but it REALLY picked up. Everything after the first, "WHO'S DA MAN" routine was GOLD. Schiavone's over dramatic commentary is too much. "HE PICKED HIM UP" or "HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN" are staples of my childhood. It doesn't disappoint here. Tony sounds like he's truly afraid that Flair's going to die in there. For all those that say Flair always does the same match, have them watch this. And when it's over, tell them kindly..."no." ___________________   Rating will come when I review the next 5 matches that'll be posted in 2 weeks. The quality is abundant in this month's selection. IF my brother's here today, Survivor Series '90 will be next. If not, the NWA show will be. I can watch that with my mentally challenged cousin and he'll mark out for the duration.
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Review: Shorties Section from the update of 10/10.

Easy, short reviews here, so I'll get them out quick. The Kings need a win tonight, so hopefully posting this on the same day will bring a victory to Los Angeles. Each section is denoted in bold.   Mad Dog Vachon   Vachon attacks Joe LeDuc at the start of this clip, so LeDuc does a bladejob to go with the cast on his arm. Once things settle down, Vachon beats up some jobber, cobra clutches him and LeDuc is back and bandaged up.... He gets his revenge and shit. Then Baron von Raschke and Vachon cut a promo. Baron just stands their looking mean and Vachon talks in his loud, crazed voice.   I could have done without that, even though I love the Baron. It was pointless for WWE to put that on their on demand channel, IMO.     Terry Funk   Now, I have a problem with this. If you're showing Terry Funk, show something from the NWA or ECW. Not from Florida. Terry's with Gordon Solie and Dory Funk, and they narrate a clip of a previous match where Terry faced Dusty Rhodes. Dusty has a cast on his arm and hits Funk with a couple of elbows, and during the narration Funk's doing nothing but bitching. After a couple elbows, Dory comes in and attacks Dusty. NOW WE HAVE DA COLLA BROTHA, as Dusty juices. The Funk's try to rebreak Dusty's arm, and the babyfaces come out of the dressing room to save him. This angle looks really similar to the angle where Flair and the Andersons broke his arm inside a steel cage after Dusty saved Slick Ric after his match with my nephew Nikita.   Misused the theme of this month. They should have used a barbed wire match.   The Missing Link   The match here is the Missing Link and Bruiser Brody vs. Terry Gordy and The Great Kabuki. Gordy and Bruiser brawl to the back and disappear for the duration of the bout, so this turns into a singles match. Kabuki nerveholds Link to death, and me too, because I'm bored to death. That's literally all he does for the duration of this bout, until Michael Hayes hands Kabuki nunchucks and Kabuki hits Link with them for the DQ at 8:11. DUD. That was terrible.   Another one I could have done without.   Buzz Sawyer   Prematch: Now, this is what I was waiting for. The match is Buzz Sawyer, The Great Muta and The Dragonmaster vs. Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Ole Anderson. Flair's the Champ, here. Sting had been attacked by the Horsemen earlier in the night, so 5 of these guys are heels. Muta is not a heel, as the crowd goes batshit for him. The Dragonmaster is Kendo Nagasaki, in case you didn't know. That was his gimmick from Florida. From Clash X, from Corpus Christi, Texas. This is the show in Mick Foley's book where he talks about facing Mil Mascaras and attacking some guy from a band after the match. I've always wanted to see this show. Jim Ross and Jim Cornette are on commentary.   Blow-by-blow: Arn attacks Buzz Sawyer to start, and Buzz returns the favor with some hard chops to the chest of Arn. Sawyer throws Arn into the cage, and Muta does some Liu Kang type flying attack at Arn, in which he hits Arn with about 5 kicks. Flair and Dragonmaster come in, and Flair chops him to death, Ole in with some knees, and Arn and Muta come in. Muta hits a handspring elbow that's probably the best looking one I've seen, and the crowd goes nuts. Nuts, I tell you. Muta applies the STF, and WE GOTS COMPANY AT RINGSIDE BRUDDA, and STING's trying to get into the cage to attack Ric Flair. Tom Zenk and Brian Pillman come out and try to pull Sting down from the cage, and they succeed this time. Ole backdrops Buzz into the cage and SAWYERS BENT IN HALF, BY GAWD and I happen to agree with that sentiment. What a tough bump that looked to be. The guy was so zonked out on crack that it didn't matter. That's why he's dead, you know. Now we have a historical moment in wrestling, as Sting goes back to the cage, and blows his knee out as he tries to climb in. Uh-oh. It can be instantly seen that there's a problem, because Sting immediately stops what he's doing, and he can't get to the back without assistance. His knee is fucked, as is the angle the NWA set up earlier that night. Buzz Sawyer suplexes Arn and goes to the top like Superfly, but he misses the splash from the top of the cage. Arn spinebusters Dragonmaster, and we have a pier-6 brawl. Arn DDT's Dragonmaster at 6:13 for the win.   Match analysis: The Sting injury really threw the NWA into a loop, it killed their main event for WrestleWar, and they tried to fall back on Luger in another attempt to turn him into their Hulk Hogan. As we know, it didn't work, for multiple reasons. For one, Luger couldn't talk like Hogan. Number two, I've read stories that the guy always felt he was above the business. He treated the fans like shit, how are they going to get behind him. They aren't. In Sting's first televised match back, he got the NWA belt. That was in July. In the meanwhile, the NWA didn't know what the fuck to do. They put Sid Vicious in the Horsemen (ugh), and debuted El Gigante. Then they did a Flair vs. Junkyard Dog main at Clash XI, and Sting made his comeback and saved JYD. They really, REALLY need to start showing this shit. Strange match, *3/4. For the whole spectacle, the entertainment value is off the charts.       I'm going to tack the review of Killer Kowalski vs. Bruno Sammartino to the two Wild Samoan matches I still have to review. So, I didn't forget about that.     Comments are appreciated.
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Review: Shorties Section from 12-5 to 12-8-07.

Easy lineup, with two matches I love. Should be easy to knock out. ___________________   The first gift this time, is from Mickie James. It's Wendi Richter w/Cyndi Lauper vs. Leilani Kai w/The Fabulous Moolah for the Women's Title, from WrestleMania. Rock and Wrestling...   Blow-by-blow: Richter punches Kai, but Kai follows with a kick, and an armdrag. Richter applies a hammerlock, and throws Kai to the canvas, but Kai gives her two snap mares to get out of it. She pulls on Richter's hair a whole punch and chokes her, until Richter applies a body scissors. Kai stands up, and gets taken to the canvas for 2, and then rolled up for 2. Kai misses a charge to the corner (eats feet), and Richter covers her for 2. Moolah pulls Richter's hair, so Lauper comes over and hits Moolah. Kai pulls Richter back in, and gives her a big boot. Richter gives her this F-U looking thing for 2, but Kai comes back with a backbreaker for 2. She slams Richter and goes up top for a crossbody, but Richter reverses it, winding up on top for the cover at 6:12. New champion, yeah, and all that.   Match Analysis: Was a mess. One that I'd rather not waste more words on. 1/2*. ___________________   Jonathan Coachman's gift is Rock vs. Hogan from WM X8. That's all the description you need.   Blow-by-blow: The staredown before the bout still gives me chills, even though I've watched this match at least 20 times. Both wrestlers lock-up, until Hogan pushes Rocky to the canvas. He poses, and the crowd goes apeshit. I still mark for this entire match, so everything is going to be insanely biased. Hogan gives Rock a shoulderblock, and poses more. Hell yeah, son! He gives him a clothesline, but Rock comes back with one of his own, and tells him to BRING IT. Rocky gives him the SPIT PUNCH, but Hogan seems deathly terrified of taking a bump over the top, so he scoots out of the ring under the bottom rope. Rocky throws Hogan back in, and clotheslines him after Hogan isn't able to backdrop the Rock. Rock goes for ROCK BOTTOM, but he gets elbowed away by Hogan, and then given a running elbow. Hogan gives him 2 elbowdrops, and a face stomp to boot. Rocky gives Hogan a spear, and the mount punch. Hogan then gives Rock a back suplex, which gets a 2 count. Hogan goes to the ABDOMINAL STRETCH, and then rolls Rock up for another 2 count. He gives Rock the BACK RAKE, and a few chops, before taking him to the corner. Over there, he gives Rock two punches, and bites him. Rocky gives him a few chops (huh), and Hogan misses a charge to the corner, but quickly gives Rock a chokeslam afterward. Hogan takes the tape off his wrists and chokes the Rock with it, and tosses Rock out over the top rope. He rams the Rock into the steel steps, and slams him throat-first onto the barrier at ringside. Hogan begins to take apart the announce table, seemingly to slam Rocky onto it, but the Rock gets there first, and rams Hogan into the table. Rock grabs a chair, but the official takes it away, preventing him from using it. Back inside, Hogan gives Rock a clothesline, and sidesteps when the Rock's running afterward, forcing the Rock to run into the official. Rock comes back with an ugly spinebuster, and the SHARPSHOOTER. Hogan gets to the ropes, but since the ref's out, why break the hold? Once Rock thinks he's done enough, he revives the referee, as the crowd chants "Rocky Sucks." Gee, they love him, don't they. Hogan gives the Rock a low blow, and a ROCK BOTTOM, which only gets 2. Hogan takes off his weight belt now, and hits Rock with it three times. If Hollywood hasn't used his belt yet, the match isn't going to be ending. Of course, he has to take some punishment too, after he misses a punch with the belt on his hand, and gets caught with a DDT by Rocky. Rock grabs the belt now, and hits Hogan with it 7 times. He gives Hogan ROCK BOTTOM, which gets an early 2 count. Oh my GAWD, he's HULKIN' UP! Boom, boom, boom, big boot, DROP THE FUCKING LEG, but it only gets 2. JR was going into raptures about how Hogan pinned Andre with the legdrop, so it's fitting that the move iddn't finish the match. Hogan gives Rock another big boot, but is unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG. Rock gives him ROCK BOTTOM, and sends him down to ROCK BOTTOM AGAIN, then kips up and gives him the MF'ING PEOPLE'S ELBOW for 3 at 16:23. After the Rock celebrates for a bit, Hogan extends his hand in friendship. The Rock accepts the gesture, so Scott Hall and Kevin Nash go to the ring. They thought Hogan was NWO 4 LIFE, but I guess he's not, so they attack him. The Rock runs back down to the ring, and cleans house, along with Hogan. He wants Hogan to pose, so he does. That's the end of WM X8...oh wait, it's not.   Match Analysis: ***. I don't have any problem with those that say the match wasn't that good, but come on. Not only that, but it should've been their only match, and the match at No Way Out 2003 should never have happened. But yeah, the show should've ended here. It would've been the perfect ending, Hogan passing the torch, and then Rocky coming back to help run off the dastardly NWO, who turned on the guy they thought was NWO 4 LIFE. For shame WWF, for shame. ___________________   Ok, here we go. CM Punk's gift is sure to be something good, and it was. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero in a Mask vs. Title Match, for the WCW Cruiserweight Title, from Halloween Havoc. You know, when being Cruiserweight Champion meant something.   Blow-by-blow: Eddy taunts Rey at the beginning of the match, but misses the punch he said he'd hit Rey with. Rey comes off the ropes with a quebrada, and he turns it into an armdrag. He gives Eddy a HUGE monkeyflip, then knocks him over the top rope and to the floor with a crossbody. He goes to dive onto Eddy from the apron, and gets knocked straight down to the floor, landing on his back. Eddy rams Rey, head-first into the steel steps. Ouch. Eddy hilos onto Rey when he comes back in, and gives him a European uppercut. Rey gives him a dropkick and goes for a handspring elbow, but Eddy gives him a back suplex after catching him. Eddy gives him a delayed vertical suplex for 2, and then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Eddy tears at Rey's mask, but doesn't rip it, yet, anyway. He then gives Rey an abdominal stretch, and turns that into a pumphandle backbreaker, which gets two. Then they do the typical lucha sequence, where a guy rolls up from the mat and onto the opponents shoulders, taking him over, BUT THIS TIME, Rey springs onto the top rope instead, and gives Eddy a backflip DDT. Wow. That's way better than AJ Styles' quebrada reverse DDT. Part of that is because AJ does it EVERY match. Rey gives him a dropkick that puts Eddy on the outside, and springs up to follow Eddy, but Eddy gives him a dropkick, knocking Rey to the floor. Eddy rams Rey into the guardrail, and throws him back in, where Eddy applies a camel clutch. Love the back-oriented offense here. He tears at most of Rey's mask, leaving it with a gigantic hole in the material. Eddy applies a Gory Special, and Rey armdrags his way out of it. Rey misses a dropkick, so Eddy gives Rey a dropkick to the head, as Rey's down on the canvas. Eddy gives Rey an Argentine Backbreaker, and then applies a bow and arrow lock. Eddy gives Rey a back elbow afterward, and puts his foot on the ropes to CHEAT, but only gets 2. Eddy gives Rey a European uppercut, and then tosses him into the corner, where Rey goes upside down. Eddy gives Rey a dropkick, and then tries to get a running start to give him a baseball slide to the face, but Rey raises up, causing Eddy to slide into the ringpost, nuts first. Good thing the post was padded. Rey now FLIES off the top with a plancha (I figured out the difference between a plancha and a pescado the other day. What a fucking buffoon I am.), onto Eddy, who's on the floor. Back inside, Eddy tries a tilt-a-whirl slam, but Rey finds his way out of the hold, and gives Eddy a rana for 2. Eddy gives Rey a clothesline, but Rey finds a way to go through the ropes, 619 style, and headscissor Eddy to the floor. Rey flies out onto Eddy, who's on the floor, with a DRAGONRANA. No shit. Great stuff. Rey comes back in off the top, with a standing corkscrew senton, onto Eddy. It gets 2, so Rey slams him, and tries a springboard split legged moonsault, but eats Eddy's knees. Eddy gives him a sick looking powerbomb, which gets 2. The "Eddy Sucks" chant begins, so Eddy takes Rey into the turnbuckle. He misses a charge, and Rey gives him a spinning heel kick. Rey's springboard hurricanrana misses, as Eddy avoids it and catches Rey, turning the move into a backbreaker. Eddy goes up top, and Rey avoids the frog splash, so Eddy rolls through, as he usually does. Rey gets up on the top rope, and he gets crotched. Eddy tries to give him a back suplex, but he's pushed away. So now, Eddy goes for SPLASH MOUNTAIN. He gets ready to drop Rey all the way down to the canvas, but Rey counters with a hurricanrana, for the win and the Cruiserweight Title at 13:51. But most importantly, Rey gets to keep his mask. Eddy is really pissed off, so he attacks Rey after the match and throws him out of the ring.   Match Analysis: It's certainly the best Cruiserweight Title match ever. Can't recommend this one enough. Most of the matches that feature this many highspots have a fuckup or two, but this one doesn't. It's an easy *****. I liked Eddy's back work the most. Almost all the moves and holds he used were moves that are supposed to target the back. ___________________   From the David Von Erich Memorial Show at Texas Stadium, it's Mike, Kevin and Fritz Von Erich vs. The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Terry Gordy and Buddy Roberts), for the World 6 Man Tag Team Championship. Self explanatory, isn't it. This was Shawn Michaels' gift.   Blow-by-blow: As soon as the match starts, Fritz attacks Hayes. The Von Erich's clear the ring, so once Gordy finds a chair, he throws one in. It hit Kevin's hands or something, cause he's bleeding pretty badly from that area. David Manning grabs the mic, and says that the only rule in the match is that two people are all that's allowed in the ring. Kevin and Roberts start as the bell rings (I was timing before), and Kevin rams Roberts to the turnbuckle. As a result, Michael Hayes comes in, and basically says, "fuck the rules." Roberts hits Kevin, but misses a charge to the corner. Kevin drags Roberts over to Mike, who tags in and elbowdrops Roberts in the knee. Hayes comes in and slams Mike, but misses a splash off the 2nd rope. Fritz comes in and kicks Hayes, so everyone else joins in the fight. Fritz takes his belt off, and whips Hayes' ass with it. Harhar. Kevin and Gordy stay in when the ring clears, and Gordy rams Kevin to the buckle. I guess Fritz can't handle watching his sons get beat up, so he comes in and clobbers Gordy. If the Von Erich's win, Kerry takes Fritz's position in the team as a champion. Kevin goes for the CLAW, but Gordy stops it. Hayes comes in, and gives Kevin a clothesline, then takes his boot off and hits Kevin in the head with it. Roberts comes in, and thrusts his crotch into the face of Kevin. That's how it looked, but really, he was hitting him with his belt buckle. Roberts gives Kevin a backdrop, but Kevin lands near to Fritz, tagging him in. Fritz gives Hayes and Roberts a double noggin-knocker, and applies the CLAW, to a bleeding Michael Hayes. And then, Fritz gives Roberts the CLAW, until Gordy forces him to break the hold. See, this is one thing I don't like about World Class. Old man Fritz has to dominate, whenever he steps in the ring. Gordy and Hayes are then rammed into each other by the Von Erichs, and Kevin comes off the top with a crossbody to finish Roberts at 8:53. The crowd goes apeshit, but they were doing that for the duration of the match anyway. After the match, a "big Oriental" attacks the Von Erichs, until Kerry comes in the ring to break it up. The "big Oriental" was Killer Khan.   Match Analysis: Wild. It's really hard to go into great detail, though. ***1/4. Just trust me, you want to watch it. ___________________   Ok, I'm done for a day or two. Nothing to watch, nothing to review.
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Review: Shorties Section from 12-1 to 12-4-07.

I bring GIFTS!!! I'll be posting these in increments of four. ___________________   We're saving the best for last, so it'll be Val Venis' gift, right now. I thought this would be the skit where his dick got chopped off, and next week he said it wasn't, but it's not. Instead, it's Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito from 11/28/05.   Blow-by-blow: Carlito spits in the face of people that aren't cool, obviously meaning Shawn, then knocks Shawn out to ringside. I like when Carlito spits on people. Carlito chokes HBK with his shirt, and rams him into the barrier at ringside. On the inside, Carlito does the move I saw on Wiki was called the Back Stabber, obviously to work on the back of Shawn. Carlito applies a headlock, and takes Shawn down to the canvas. He gives Shawn a shoulderblock when shot into the ropes, and goes for another, but Shawn gives him a hiptoss. Shawn tries to roll up Carlito, and gets thrown back, but misses a charge to the ropes, and SKINS THE CAT, to come back in. Carlito clotheslines Shawn over the top when he gets back in, and gives him a plancha out to the floor. Back in, Carlito gets 2. Carlito beats up Shawn, and now they each trade chops in the corner. Each guy delivers 5 to the other, and Carlito whips Shawn into the corner, where Shawn avoids a charge, and Carlito comes off the 2nd rope with a springboard crossbody for 2. Shawn gives Carlito the flying forearm, and kips up, but his knee buckled. OMG, IT'S A SHEWT!!! No, it really isn't, but anyway, Shawn's knee's in pain, so he rolls out to the floor. Great selljob, to the point where you actually COULD wonder if it was real. Of course it's not, as you see when Carlito gives Shawn a baseball slide. And we go to a   commercial break.   We come back, and Carlito has a half crab applied on HBK. Carlito chopblocks HBK and tries to apply another leglock, but HBK kicks him away a few times, keeping Carlito from applying anything. Carlito misses a charge to the corner when HBK gets up, so HBK tries to climb to the top. Very, very slowly. Carlito crotches him, and goes up for a back suplex. He gets knocked off, so Shawn turns around, and gives him the flying elbow off the top. He didn't exactly jump to do it, either. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but his knee gives out when he tries to deliver SWEET CHIN MUSIC. A DDT by Carlito gets 2, and Shawn tries for SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of nowhere, but he can't get it, crumpling to the canvas. Then Carlito tries this reverse DDT looking thing, and gets pushed into the referee, after which HBK gives Carlito SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for the win, at 13:44, 10:10 of which was shown, due to commercials.   Match Analysis: See, things like that are why main event wrestlers should have TWO finishers. It didn't make any sense for Shawn to finish the match with a superkick, after the legwork. It was still good though, and I'll rate it **3/4. In some of these young guy vs. old guy matches, I'll say who I thought should have gone over. Shawn definitely should have went over. FWIW, since I found it funny, when I quit watching the WWE altogether after Royal Rumble 2004, Orton was on RAW. I looked at the results for Survivor Series 05 the other day, and he was on Smackdown. Now he's back on RAW. Well then. I don't particularly care for that much switching from brand to brand. Yes, I know that had nothing to do with the last match. ___________________   Chuck Palumbo's gift is from WM 17, the Undertaker vs. Triple H. I'm glad he chose this, but not really. I'm not even going to watch the match again, so it's a copy and paste job. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.   Blow-by-blow: This time, the dubbed music is the Ministry of Darkness music. I like. That's as far as I got before turning it off. They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.   Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/2. Remember, I changed the rating cause of what I thought of the Brock/Taker match at No Mercy '02. ___________________   Gene Okerlund's gift to us, is Hulk Hogan vs. Nick Bockwinkel w/Bobby Heenan for the AWA Championship, and that took place on AWA Super Sunday, in 1983. The date in the description is NOT RIGHT.   Blow-by-blow: Bockwinkel stalls outside of the ring, then comes back in, but bails again. He's scared of the HULKSTER, BROTHER. Hogan gives him a shoulderblock, and pushes Bockwinkel into the turnbuckle. Hogan gives him 2 more shoulderblocks, and Bockwinkel bails to the outside, to meet with Bobby Heenan. Bockwinkel comes back in with a few knees to Hogan's gut, and he tries a backdrop, but Hogan kicks him in the gut, and delivers a few knees of his own to Bockwinkel. Hogan gives Bock a doublestomp, and a backbreaker for 2, as Bockwinkel's feet are on the bottom rope. Hogan charges into the corner and runs over Bock, but Bock comes back with a few punches, which only get 1. Bockwinkel applies a front facelock type choke, and keeps reapplying it whenever the referee makes him break the hold. Bockwinkel covers Hogan for 2 and tries a piledriver, but Hogan gives him a backdrop to get away from the hold. Bockwinkel misses a charge, so Hogan punches away at him, and Hogan's cover gets 2. Hogan gives him a clothesline and elbowdrop for 2, then a shoulderbreaker for 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel a kneelift and a powerslam for 2, but he's unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG, DUDE. Bockwinkel gives him repeated shouldercharges in the corner and tries a scoop slam, but can't get it, so Hogan falls on top and gets 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel another elbowdrop for 2, on a kickout that was screwed up by Bockwinkel. The ref just stopped counting, and Bockwinkel didn't kick out until a bit afterward. Hogan misses a charge to the corner, and Bockwinkel applies a sleeper. Hogan pulls him over his head and to the canvas, knocking Bockwinkel into the referee. Bockwinkel reapplies the sleeper, and Hogan rams him into the turnbuckle, where the ref is trying to recouperate. Ok, that's overkill. The crowd's shitting all over it, making matters worse. Now Hogan tosses Bockwinkel over the top rope. That's three different ways for a Dusty Finish in one match. Find another with that many. Hogan suplexes Bockwinkel in from the apron, and DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, for the 3 count and pinfall at 18:11. I love how "Real American" was edited in. It sounds like that was actually the music being played. Anyhow, Gene Okerlund's in the ring, to announce that AWA President Stanley Blackburn has reversed the decision, because Hogan threw Bockwinkel over the top rope. The crowd shits all over it, as they should.   Match Analysis: The finish ruined a good match. Plain and simple. However, this was a classic match. Everything was going good, until the finish. And honestly, the AWA deserved to die a painful death after doing something like that. The crowd was primed for a title change. **1/2. Down from ****, which is where it would have been without that AWFUL finish. ___________________   Ok, when I said I'm saving the best for last, I meant that literally. As in, I'll be posting it at the end of the month! Hahaha, fooled you all. I'll post Steamboat/Flair from the Clash on New Year's Eve. There are multiple reasons for that, but namely because I want to end the year on a good note. I'll be posting more of these on the 8th.
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Review: Saturday Night's Main Event #5, from Phoenix, Arizona, 3/1/86.

There's a whole bunch of stuff here. Hogan vs. Muraco, The British Bulldogs vs. the Dream Team...you really must watch this. There's one other thing, too, but we'll keep that a surprise. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Mr. T during his training for his boxing match later, he's ready to go to war. The intro to this show is great as always. As for the match Mr. T was talking about, Hulk Hogan set it up on Piper's Pit.   First, Mean Gene is with Bob Orton and Roddy Piper, who rag on Mr. T, as per usual.   Then Gene is with Mr. T, who doesn't care about Roddy Piper at all. ___________________   At this point, I think it's obvious what the next match is going to be. It's Mr. T vs. Boxing Bob Orton in a 10 round boxing match.   Blow-by-blow: If you think I'm going to review this seriously, I'm not. Mr. T using "Eye of the Tiger" as his entrance music was a nice touch. At the beginning, this looks better than the match this was used as set up for. Jesse Ventura says something about how Vince's ancestry (Irish) doesn't mean he knows everything about boxing. I laughed. Orton thumbed T in the eye, so there was a little break. When the bell to end the first round rang, Orton sucker punched Mr. T. Near the beginning of Round 2, Orton kneed T and worked on him with the referee distracted, but T punched Orton, knocking him over the top rope. That also gets the KO victory at about a minute into round #2. After the bout, Orton attacks Mr. T from behind, and Piper whips him with a belt. Jesse says this is Roots 2...nobody would ever get away with saying that now. They'd be lynched.   Match Analysis: Better than the boxing match that took place at WrestleMania 2, but it still wasn't very good. Out of kindness, DUD.   After the match, Gene Okerlund's with Mr. T, who wants Piper, ASAP. ___________________   Mean Gene is with King Kong Bundy and Bobby Heenan, who say that Bundy wants Hogan. They have a little plan cooked up, as well.   King Kong Bundy has a match though, he's facing Steve Gatorwolf.   Bundy takes him to the buckle, and after a few chops, gives him the AVALANCHE for the 5 count at 41 seconds. You know, because Bundy has to get a 5 count. Afterward, he takes the microphone from Howard Finkel, and says that he wants Hogan. NOW. 1/2*. ___________________   Mean Gene is with the Magnificent Muraco, and seeing as Mr. Fuji is sick...Bobby Heenan's going to be his manager tonight. The shot clips to a sick Fuji, and honestly, if I would've had something in my mouth, I would've done a spit-take. That was hilarious.   Mean Gene's with Hulk Hogan, who's ready, BROTHER. All my Hulkamaniacs, BROTHER. ___________________   So yeah, the Magnificent Muraco w/Bobby Heenan is facing Hulk Hogan for the WWF Title.   Blow-by-blow: This is the debut of Real American as Hogan's theme music. Cool. Muraco gives Hogan a shot to the gut, and rams him into the buckle. Muraco follows it up with a backrake, but Hogan backdrops him. Hogan stomps away and clotheslines Muraco, before giving him an atomic drop. He rams him into the ringpost, and sends him back into the ring. They slug it out, and the sequence ends with a big Hogan right hand for 2. Hogan gives Muraco a bearhug, but a Muraco headbutt breaks the hold. Muraco gives Hogan a legdrop and kneedrop for 2, and that is followed up with an Asian spike. Muraco headbutts Hogan down low...way down low, and gives him a russian leg sweep. Muraco comes off the 2nd rope with an Asian spike for 2, and now...it's time for the HULK-UP LITTLE DUDES. 3 punch, back elbow, boot, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG, but Heenan runs in to get Muraco DQ'd at 6:53. Hogan has Heenan in a chokehold, but KING KONG BUNDY comes down to the ring, to attack Hogan. He gives Hogan three AVALANCHES in the corner, and two big splashes, before leaving. Hogan does a stretcher job and an ambulance ride...Gene Okerlund will be following him.   Match Analysis: It was ok, but not nearly the best match these two have had. Obviously that was because it was used as a vehicle to set up the possibility of a Bundy/Hogan match at WrestleMania. *3/4. ___________________   Before this match, Okerlund interviewed the Dream Team. Their non-title loss to the challengers on Championship Wrestling which aired on 2/1/86 meant nothing, they say.   You know who the challengers are? The British Bulldogs. Yeah, they're facing the Dream Team for the WWF Tag Titles.   Blow-by-blow: The Dream Team enter to "We Are the Champions." On most other shows, this would be the funniest thing on the night. But it wasn't on a different show, and it wasn't better than the clip of a sick Mr. Fuji. Valentine and Davey start, and Davey gives him an atomic drop. Dynamite headbutts Valentine from the apron, which Smith tries to capitalize on, only getting a 2 count though. Davey suplexes Valentine in for a 2 count, and then tags in Dynamite, who along with Davey gives Valentine a double clothesline. Dynamite headbutts Valentine for 2, but Beefcake is able to tag in. Dynamite knees him and rams him to the buckle, before Davey tags in. He works on the arm, and gives him a back elbow...which inadvertently allows Valentine to tag in. Davey press slams him for a 2 count, and after a tag to Dynamite, follows it up with a double headbutt. Dynamite gives the Hammer a kneedrop, and a back suplex. A falling headbutt comes soon after for 2, and a kneedrop from the 2nd rope does as well. Davey comes in and trades blows with Valentine, but Davey gets the best after a dropkick. Davey cradles Valentine for a 2 count, and tags in Dynamite. Valentine gives Dynamite an inverted atomic drop, and tags in Beefcake, but the managers are ARGUING ON THE OUTSIDE. We go to a   commercial break   and we're back, with Dynamite and Beefcake in the ring. Davey tags in, and gives Beefcake a missile dropkick. A big splash gets a 2 count, but Beefcake takes enough control to tag in Valentine. Valentine applies the FIGURE-FOUR leglock, but Dynamite quickly comes in and legdrops Valentine to break the hold. Dynamite tags in now and headbutts away, but Valentine elbows him and elbowdrops him from the 2nd rope for 2. A Valentine shoulderbreaker gets a 2 count, and he rams Dynamite into Beefcake's foot, before making the tag. Beefcake takes Dynamite to the canvas and kicks him for 2, before bringing Valentine back in. He forearms Dynamite for 2 and goes to apply the FIGURE-FOUR, but Dynamite kicks him away. Valentine goes to the top rope, but Dynamite slams him off and goes up, nailing Valentine with a missile dropkick for 2. Dynamite clotheslines Valentine for 2, and suplexes him for a 2 count. A shmoz ensues, but it ends when Valentine gives Dynamite a shoulderblock and falls on top of him for the pinfall at about 12 minutes or so.   Match Analysis: What a match. ****. Perfectly placed, with a well-done surprise ending. Saw the finish line coming, but didn't see how they'd get there. ___________________   Mean Gene's at the hospital, and he'll relay information on Hulk Hogan whenever possible. After, we have the premiere of the REAL AMERICAN video.     Felt like I should share that. It's great. ___________________   The last match on the card is Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart vs. the Junkyard Dog, but first, Adrian Adonis is with Gene Okerlund. To say he acted gay is an understatement and a half.   Blow-by-blow: JYD's "Another One Bites the Dust" music is great. Honestly, if you haven't seen this stage of Adonis' gimmick, let's just say that he acts way more gay here than at the end of it. Adrian flames his way around the ring, so JYD beels him across the ring. JYD headbutts Adonis and sends him over the top, but Adonis is tied in the ropes, facing JYD. So JYD nails him a few times, and slingshots him in from the apron. JYD clotheslines Adonis which is accompanied by a 360 sell for 2, and in response, Adonis punches away. Like a sissy. JYD sends him to the buckle, upside down and over the top. JYD headbutts Jimmy Hart and imitates Adonis, then brings both of them into the ring. He throws Hart into Adonis, which knocks both men over the top rope. Adonis comes in and JYD misses a headbutt, so Jimmy Hart ties him onto the bottom rope with some of Adonis' entrance attire. Adonis chokes away on the JYD, until the referee pulls him off. Adonis gives JYD a fistdrop for 2, and goes for a piledriver. In mid-move JYD accidentally kicks the referee, so Adonis tries to grab Jimmy Hart's megaphone, to cheat. JYD takes the megaphone and rams it into Adonis, which gives him the pinfall victory at sometime between 8 and 9 minutes. After the bout, Adonis clocks JYD upside the head with the megaphone.   Match Analysis: This featured a lot of great spots, but that's all it was. Very little wrestling, so it'll get a *1/2 rating. All that said, it was a lot of fun. ___________________   Mean Gene's at the hospital with a report on Hulk Hogan, the physician says that Hulk's neck, ribs, and back are messed up. Recap of the show follows, and that's it. ___________________   Rating: Good. Has to be, with that great tag title match.   Best Segment: The British Bulldogs vs. the Dream Team/ Mr. Fuji being sick.   Worst Segment: Uh, the boxing match. Cannot stand. ___________________   WrestleMania 2 review will be up next.
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Review: Saturday Night's Main Event #31, from Terre Haute, Indiana; 11/8/1992.

I've been waiting to watch this. Just so much here worth seeing. ___________________   We jump right into the first match, that being The Ultimate Maniacs vs. Money Inc. w/Jimmy Hart for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   Blow-by-Blow: The Maniacs are the Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage. Money Inc attacked the Maniacs, before they got ditched. They get tossed out again, before Savage and DiBiase start things off proper. A Savage atomic drop gets two, as he gives DiBiase his slingshot clothesline into the ropes. Warrior comes in with a suplex, that gets a two count. As Warrior tries the flying shoulderblock, DiBiase gets out of the way and slams Warrior into the canvas, allowing him to tag in IRS. IRS comes in with a sleeper, then we go to a split-screen view with Razor Ramon and Ric Flair cutting a promo in the back. DiBiase comes into the ring with the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM, but Savage knees DiBiase in the back. After both Warrior and DiBiase clothesline each other, the tags are made, so that IRS and Savage can enter. Savage backdrops IRS, clotheslines DiBiase and slams IRS, before going to the top. FLYING ELBOW, but the cover gets broken up by DiBiase. A brawl ensues, but after Warrior and Savage clear the ring, Money Inc. decide to leave. They get counted out at 6:11. The Maniacs go to attack in the aisle, but Flair and Razor ambush them and beat them up. Good job!   Match Analysis: Wasn't the best match, of course. But I still enjoyed it, because the pace didn't really slow down. *1/2. Obviously a finish was not on the cards, and I probably wouldn't have liked it had there been. ___________________   After a Bret Hart music video, Shawn Michaels faces The British Bulldog for the Intercontinental Championship.   Blow-by-Blow: Bulldog pushes Michaels down after the initial lock-up, and Shawn's shoulderblocks don't do anything. We resort to drastic measures, those being punches and eyepokes. After an eyepoke, Shawn hiptosses Bulldog, and applies a short arm scissors. Bulldog picks Shawn up out of the short arm scissors and drops him to the canvas from his shoulders, which is nice. Bulldog press slams Shawn and clotheslines him over the top, but Shawn ducks under on the inside and we go into a reversal sequence. Bulldog ends it with an armdrag, but misses a charge to the corner. When Shawn turns his back on the Bulldog like a moron, Bulldog clobbers him, only to get tossed outside. Shawn begins to untie a turnbuckle pad, as we go to a...   COMMERCIAL BREAK   Back, and the buckle pad is untied, but still left on the corner. Shawn kneedrops away at Bulldog, and applies an abdominal stretch. We go back to the abdominal stretch after Bulldog hiptosses out, and really, this one lasts way too long. Bulldog hiptosses out for a second time, before the turnbuckle pad comes off when Shawn's running the ropes. Uh-oh. Bulldog gives the challenger a facebuster, then sends him upside down in the corner before slingshotting him back towards it and giving him a clothesline. The cover only got two, as does the cover after a Bulldog delayed vertical suplex. Shawn sends Bulldog back first into the exposed turnbuckle (oh no!), and both stay down for a bit, as they're worn out. When both get up, Bulldog places Shawn up top, for a superplex attempt. Bulldog's back gives out, Shawn lands on top of him and gets the three count at 10:26 (shown). Shawn's got his first taste of Federation gold! No, I'm not counting the WWF tag belt win that never aired.   Match Analysis: The abdominal stretches nearly killed the match for me, but it could've been a lot worse. I watched this on DVD a while back, and my rating actually went down from then. I didn't really realize how long that portion of the match was until yesterday. ***1/4 is my rating. I know I'm focusing on the negative, but there's a ton of positive in that match. For one, pacing. Two, psychology. Michaels not taking the buckle off and it just falling down by chance was great. There's obviously more, but I don't have all the time in the world. ___________________   Mean Gene is with Razor Ramon, Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect, who praise Michaels' Intercontinental Title victory. Flair says that it's going to be champion vs. champion at Survivor Series, and he'll be waiting to face the winner. ___________________   Papa Shango vs. Bret Hart for the WWF Championship is our main event...   Blow-by-Blow: Before Bret's entrance, he cut a promo in the back with Mean Gene. Also, Bill Alfonso's the referee. Shango works Bret over, but Bret whips Shango into the corner and monkey flips him out. A few Bret shoulderblocks and a crossbody only get one, so Bret follows with an inverted atomic drop. Bret clotheslines him over the top, and follows him down to the floor with a PESCADO. Now, we go to a   COMMERCIAL BREAK   We're back, with Shango sending Bret into the buckle. He applies a bearhug, but Bret pokes him in the eye to break. Shango responds with a back elbow, and headbutts Bret down low. Way down low. Shango goes to the nerve hold after a choketoss, but breaks it and clotheslines Bret. Back to the nerve hold, but Bret gets up, and gets whipped into the ropes, after which he gives Shango a sunset flip. At least he tried. Shango punched the canvas, and misses a charge to the corner, leading to a Bret sleeper. Shango charges at the corner and ducks down, causing Bret's head to get rammed into the buckle. Shango gives Bret two elbowdrops, but misses an UGLY elbowdrop off the top rope. Bret gives Shango a gutshot, before a russian leg sweep which gets two. Bret backdrops Shango for a two count, before coming off the second rope with a clothesline for another two count. Shango misses the HO TRAIN, so Bret locks him into the SHARPSHOOTER, forcing Shango to give up at 7:15 (shown).   Match Analysis: What a carryjob. One of the best I've ever seen, to be 100% honest. I thought that was going to be a shitter of a match, but it wasn't. Surprising. I don't know if I'm rating it too high or not, but **1/4 sounds just right. ___________________   Paul Bearer's out, for an edition of his funeral parlor. We see clips of The Undertaker making a casket for Kamala, before Taker comes out of a coffin to speak. Rotting corpses of the maggots below the souls of all that lie beneath the earth and that sort of thing, then Kamala will REST IN PEACE. ___________________   Bret Hart is with Gene Okerlund again, to talk about his earlier victory. BUT, Shawn Michaels interrupts. Oh yes. He runs down Bret's opposition, and they push each other, before we cut away to Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan. Heenan's on the phone with someone, who says that one of the teams is going to have a new partner at Survivor Series. Which one could it be? ___________________ Rating: Good. Well, I thought so. Take into account that I love both 1992 and 1993's wrestling from both major promotions.   Best Segment: Bulldog vs. Michaels   Worst Segment: Bret Hart's music video. It was SO corny. ___________________   Ok, um, RAW and Nitro review from 8/4/1997 will be up on Friday. Nitro this time is a famed THREE HOUR SHOW.
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Review: Saturday Night's Main Event #18, 11/26/88, from Sacramento, California.

Finally, more new stuff. I needed to finish watching something before the Laker game started, so Saturday Night's Main Event is on the menu. I've never watched one of these, only clips from various ones. That's not a joke. Date in the title is the date that the show aired. ___________________   The opening to the show is fuckin' bizarre. It's a bunch of mini-promos, with the Ultimate Warrior (this one was the best), Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage (Elizabeth...my goodness), Ted DiBiase (who says Hercules is bought and paid for), and Hulk Hogan. Why can't we see stuff like this now?   Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary, and since they're in California, Jesse gets top billing. Therefore, he needs to be the one to talk first whenever a match is being introduced. Or so he says. ___________________   Gene Okerlund is with Super Ninja and Mr. Fuji, at which point Fuji mumbles about things I can't understand. Only thing I got out of that was that Super Ninja trained on 7 continents, in 7 special arts. Well. After that, Gene's with the Ultimate Warrior. I understood even less than I did during the previous interview. Now that's hard to believe.   Super Ninja is facing the ULTIMATE WARRIOR for the Intercontinental Title, and I don't think I need to explain who's the champ and challenger, do I? Ninja's sole offense in the bout is a chop, karate kick, and big boot. All three do nothing. Now, we go to school. Warrior gives Ninja a big boot which puts Ninja out of the ring, and Warrior follows him, then press slams him back into the ring. Warrior gives Ninja a back elbow, and signals that the end is near. Clothesline, press slam, big splash, and Warrior retains his title at 2:10. 1/4*. A squash if there ever was one. ___________________   Now, we flashback to Hercules being bought as a slave by Ted DiBiase. Yeah, I said it, a slave. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This took place on the Superstars episode of 10/1/88. In case you were interested.   Jesse Ventura conducts an interview with DiBiase and Virgil, and Jesse's so obviously scripted or reading from a teleprompter that it's ridiculous. Did he make himself sound that way on purpose or what, because it was so overly done that that's how I interpreted it. DiBiase will take possession of Hercules if Virgil wins tonight, but when asked why he won't do the dirty work himself, Ted says he won't interact with his slaves.   Gene Okerlund's with Hercules, he doesn't say much of note.   And now, we have Virgil w/Ted DiBiase vs. Hercules, if Hercules loses, DiBiase will take possession of him.   Before the match, Jesse asks Vince if he thinks Hercules looks a little like Kunta Kinte. Might make me a bad person, but I laughed. Only because I was caught unawares, and I wasn't thinking about how un-politically incorrect wrestling was at the time. Both DiBiase and Virgil attack Hercules at the start of the match, but Hercules beats the both of them up. Herc backdrops Virgil, and clotheslines him over the top rope. Hercules chases DiBiase around the ring, and back inside, backdrops Virgil again. He gives Virgil a back elbow and then an elbowdrop, then punches him. DiBiase distracts Hercules in order to get him to stop, but afterward, Hercules gives Virgil a kneelift. He clotheslines Virgil twice, then powerslams him for the win at 3:23. After the match, Hercules throws Virgil out of the ring, onto DiBiase. 1/2*, mostly for the excess stuff going on. ___________________   Flashback to Jake Roberts scaring Andre with his snake, Damien. Yeah, this is when we found out that Andre was afraid of snakes. He "passed out" with the snake coiled around him. I always found this funny, albeit sad, seeing the role that Andre was reduced to. I'll touch on that a little more after the next match.   Andre the Giant is with Mean Gene, obviously Gene asks him about snakes, but Andre doesn't want to hear it. Savage and Elizabeth are with Gene afterward, and Macho says that since Hogan beat Andre, he can do it too.   The "main event" of the show is Andre the Giant w/Bobby Heenan vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/Elizabeth, for Savage's WWF Title.   Andre chokes Savage, then headbutts him. Honestly, I described the entire match, right there. SO, I'll keep the review of the match brief, instead of repeating the same thing over and over again. Andre squashes Savage in the corner, and applies a front facelock, after a Savage knee to the back of Andre. Andre chokes Savage with the strap of his tights, which he hides from the referee. This is the only time during the match in which Andre is near the center of the ring. He keeps doing it, and while doing so, he headbutts Savage in the back. Savage gives him a jawbreaker, and Andre applies a nerve hold. The dubbed sound of the crowd makes this match better than it would have been otherwise. Yes, I said dubbed. If you think otherwise, you're wrong. Macho gives Andre a running elbow to the head and an axhandle from the 2nd rope, which puts Andre down for the first time in the bout. Jake Roberts makes his first appearance of the night, with Damien. Damien hides the snake under the ring, and Andre finally notices him. He knows the snake has been put somewhere, but doesn't know where that is. The official says Jake needs to leave ringside, and he does, after whispering something to Savage.   commercial break   and we're back, as Heenan's being told by Andre to find the snake. Andre chops Savage, and Heenan still can't find the snake. Macho gives Andre a running axhandle, then gets sat on by Andre. This is really sad. Heenan gets close to where the snake is, so now Macho starts chasing him. Now we know what Jake said to Savage before the commercial break. Andre brings Macho in the hard way, and Heenan's finally found the snake. Jake comes back to ringside and he's got the snake, at which point I notice that Andre's bleeding, and the bell rings at 8:41, as both wrestlers are disqualified. Macho beats up Heenan, and knocks Andre into the ropes, where Andre is tied up. Jake brings Damien out of the bag, but Andre gets untied by Heenan and the referee, so he leaves. Macho and Elizabeth celebrate, but for no reason at all. 1/4*, just for the extra stuff, again. It's so hard to watch Andre when Andre has to be next to the ropes at all times. There was only one point in the match that he wasn't. Just sad, is all. The match was ok in theory, all of Savage's offense was realistic in that he had to move quickly around Andre and sneak in little shots when he could. Anyhow, there's more to come. ___________________   Hacksaw Jim Duggan has an interview with Gene Okerlund, before his match against Boris Zhukov. The winner gets their flag raised, obviously, everyone knows which flags would get raised in the event. They stare at each other, then Duggan gives Zhukov an atomic drop. Zhukov gives him some back scratch fever, then Duggan misses an elbow drop. Duggan gives Zhukov a clothesline, then bodyslams him. 3 point stance time, clothesline out of that, and Duggan wins at 2:25. DUD. The American Flag gets raised, as the stipulation stated, and the American national anthem follows. ___________________   Flashback to the Big Bossman attacking Hulk Hogan on the Brother Love Show, and Bossman handcuffed Hogan to the guardrail and beat him with his nightstick.   Now, we have the Brother Love Show, with Slick and Hulk Hogan as the guests. They talk about what happened "last night", which was their way of saying, we can't tell you (meaning the live audience) about Survivor Series, so we'll say last night instead. No harm, no foul. Hogan beats both Slick and Love up at the end of the show, after Love had cut him off throughout the interview. Hogan handcuffs Love to the top rope, and clotheslines him out of the ring. I bet that hurt. He's hanging by his hand. Hogan poses, and that's the end of that. Meh. ___________________   Jesse's at the interview area again, and this time it's the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, along with Jimmy Hart. They have an announcement...they've moved to the USA!!! Memphis, Tennessee, at that.   The last match of the night is the Young Stallions vs. the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers w/Jimmy Hart.   Powers and Jacques start the match, and Jacques shoulderblocks Powers, then dropkicks him after countering his backdrop. Powers goes up for a 10 punch in the corner, but Hart hits him in the leg with his megaphone. Raymond comes in with a savate kick, and gives Powers a backbreaker onto the knee of Jacques. Jacques misses a springboard crossbody, and Roma finally tags in. He powerslams Jacques, and gives him a flying fistdrop from up top. Now Roma goes up, and gets a missile dropkick. Too bad for him though, the Rougeaus regain control, and hit Roma with that double team finish of their's at 3:05, for the win. I don't know the name of the finisher. *1/2. ___________________   Jesse's with Andre and Heenan, and Andre says Jake needs to fight like a man. I get a lot of enjoyment out of Andre's interviews, I don't really know why, though.   Mean Gene's with Jake, and then with Hogan afterward. The Hogan/Bossman thing got finished at the 2nd Main Event, for the most part anyway, but they had a good cage match at MSG afterward that's worth checking out.   Show's over. ___________________   Rating: Decent. The show seems too manufactured for my taste, but I don't know whether or not all the SNME's are like this. It seemed like every little thing was scripted to a T. The commentary too. There weren't any matches worth going out of your way for, but the show was nice at giving a look at what they were building to before the WrestleMania programs. For that, a decent rating applies. It was a fun show that I'll watch again. If you're one of those people that only cares about workrate, this isn't for you.   Best Match: Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Young Stallions.   Worst Match: Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov. It was the only one I got no enjoyment out of. ___________________   Well, I'm not going to review 2 of the 3 Piper matches, and I'll explain why. If I review the boxing match, I've reviewed a large portion of Wrestlemania 2 already, cause I'm reviewing the shorties section next.. I don't want to review so much of one show without doing the whole thing. As far as the dog-collar match goes, I'm saving that until Starrcade 83 gets posted. Sorry. That's a decision I made a while ago. I'll review the match from the War to Settle the Score, with the shorties matches that I'll have up tomorrow. When the History of the WWE Championship DVD gets posted, it's going to be the same. I'll only review matches from non-PPV shows then. I just don't want to review matches that were the sole reason to watch a show. Matches from WM X7 are much different. Austin/Rock, I'll have that up with the rest.
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Review: Roddy Piper Content Block

Yeah, I don't know what to call this. Hence the shitty title.       FINALLY, NEW CONTENT! ___________________   Just a synopsis of the 40-or so minute piece they posted...   Highlights from Piper's Pit.   Roddy Piper v. Jack Brisco for the Mid-Atlantic Title. Piper wins after hitting Brisco with a roll of pennies. Piper wanted 10,000 dollars to face Brisco in the first place, and Wahoo McDaniel and Ricky Steamboat each had to put up 2,000 dollars in order for it to be paid. David Crockett looks strange without graying hair and a beard. Very strange.   Now, the Frank Williams Piper's Pit. I think everyone's seen it a million times.   Then, the Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan and Mr. T match from Wrestlemania I is shown in its entirety, but I'm not reviewing it. When they post WM I or post this in the shorties section, I'll review it. But not now, because I don't particularly review things in the HOF or DVD documentaries they show. I either summarize, or give my opinions of what's on screen. And I like Piper a LOT, I don't need to bore everyone with that. The ring's real bouncy, which is odd for WWF action. I'm not used to that when watching the WWF.   His Hall of Fame induction finishes, and now, to the matches that have been posted. ___________________   In chronological order...   First, we have Roddy Piper vs. Jake Roberts from Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, and the match aired on 6/23/1982. Bob Caudle and Ricky Steamboat are on commentary. Not that I can't believe it, because I can, but it's so ODD to see these two facing off on a syndicated program in the 80's. Unreal.   Blow-by-blow: Roddy's wearing plaid, and it looks like Jake borrowed from Piper's future wardrobe. Meaning that Jake's wearing blue, like Piper did later on in his career. Jake starts off with an armdrag, and both guys trade hipblocks. Piper with some HARD chops to the chest of Jake, and he applies a front facelock. Both men trade chops before Piper rakes Jake in the eyes, and Jake comes to his feet with blood on his face. Piper with a back suplex, and somehow Jake's knee winds up on top of Piper for a 2 count. Jake with a sunset flip for 2, and Piper gets a kneelift for two. Piper reverses a Jake bodyslam attempt so Piper can apply the sleeper hold, but Jake makes it to the ropes. Piper misses a kneedrop and Jake gets a backdrop. Jake gets a kneelift of his own for two, and as Jake goes to run the ropes, Sgt. SLAUGHTER trips Jake up, so Jake wins by DQ at 6:54. Piper hits Jake from behind, and Steamboat comes in to stop the attack. Of course, Piper leaves.   Match Analysis: Bizarre. I bet that if you asked someone in 1982 which one of the guys involved in this match would be the WWF Champion later on down the line, not many would say that Sgt. Slaughter would be the guy. Strange to see a match from that era without someone involved being dead. Speaking of that, none of these three matches have a dead person as one of the participants. Not something one would expect to see, now. *3/4. ___________________   The next match took place on 7/13/1985 at Madison Square Garden, and it's Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff.   Blow-by-blow: Orndorff and Piper trade right hands as the bell rings, and both men go out to the floor. Orndorff rams Piper into the guardrail, and on the inside, leaps off the top rope with a standing elbow to the head of Piper. Piper slaps Orndorff as Orndorff has him in an armwringer, and Piper gains control by ramming Orndorff's head into the turnbuckle. Orndorff locks the arm of Piper around Orndorff's leg and wrenches it, but Piper gets a high knee and clothesline. Unfortunately, the camera gives us a not-so-nice look at Orndorff's ass, to the point where his ass takes up the whole screen. Couldn't the production truck move off that? Anyway, an Orndorff backslide gets two, and after the count, Piper dumps him to the outside. Piper rams Orndorff into the post, and brings him back in. He gives Orndorff a front facelock and then a headlock takeover, but Orndorff bridges out into a backslide. No count though, Piper's feet are in the ropes. They trade blows, and Orndorff crossbody's Piper out to the floor. I know Piper likes that spot a lot, I've seen him do it before. In the next match, for one. Orndorff rams Piper's head into the apron, then drapes him along the top rope as he slams Piper's head into the mat while pulling him back in. Piper sells it hilariously, as his body goes into shakes and tremors. Bob Orton hits the ring, and pushes Orndorff off the top rope. For some reason, the ref doesn't disqualify Piper. Orton hits Orndorff with the cast, and now the bell rings at 8:44. Orndorff is busted open, and Orton and Piper give him a double suplex. The BRITISH BULLDOGS (yeah, that was a WTF moment. I didn't expect THEM to hit the ring.) come out to save Orndorff, and eventually they get the better of Orton and Piper to the point where the two heels are forced to leave. Orndorff wins, but he doesn't look satisfied.   Match Analysis: Good for Piper in the WWF. His matches in the WWF, for the most part, aren't that entertaining. That's not why I like him to begin with, though. **. ___________________   The last match posted in this update is for the Intercontinental Championship. It's the challenger, Bret Hart vs. the champion, Rowdy Roddy Piper. From Wrestlemania VIII, of course. Heenan's commentary is great. On a re-review of a particular match, when they post it again, so to say, I'll cover the commentary much more. So, yeah, the review of this show will be different for this particular match.   Blow-by-blow: Thankfully, they show the pre-match promo. I'll review that when the whole event is posted. Bret's in his all pink attire, and I don't know who the referee is. Both men trade armdrags before Piper takes Bret down to the canvas. Piper has his arms locked around Bret, and Bret runs and ducks down so that Piper goes out under the top rope. Clever. Piper spits at Bret to establish that he'll be playing the heel tonight, then we have a test of strength. Piper chops Bret after they exchange armwringers, and he rams Bret into the turnbuckle. Piper chops him more, and Bret gets a running dropkick. Bret plays possum on the canvas, holding his shoulder, then rolls Piper up for a 2 count. I think that's the first time he did that in the WWF, I'm not sure though. Piper slaps him, and now IT'S ON. Bret crossbody's Piper to the floor (see what I said about Piper liking that spot) even though it took a while for both men to get to the floor, and Piper holds the ring ropes open so that Bret can come back in. What a guy. Piper makes the referee check Bret for weapons, and Piper slugs Bret in the face with his left hand as Bret's head is down, so obviously, Bret couldn't see him. Wink, wink. Bret blades off the punch (blading was a no-no at the time) and Piper rams his head into the buckle. Piper with a bulldog that gets two and a dropkick for 2, but Bret comes back with a sunset flip for 2. Piper with some lefts and rights for 2, then a Bret flying forearm puts Piper out of the ring. Piper comes back in and both men clothesline each other. Piper goes up to the top as Bret is playing possum AGAIN, and he drapes Piper's feet on the ropes, then rams his face into the canvas. Here comes the usual, Bret with a inverted atomic drop, suplex, russian leg sweep and backbreaker, but Piper blocks the SHARPSHOOTER. Bret goes up to the 2nd rope for his elbowdrop, but he eats Piper's boot on the way down. The two combatants trade punches from their knees (I was going to say "trade blows from their knees," but for some reason, I didn't. Hopefully you can make sense of it.) and Piper rams Bret into the referee. Piper clotheslines Bret out, then rams him into the steel steps. Piper grabs the ringbell, but thinks better of using it. Cause he's a good guy at heart, 'ya know? He tosses the bell out and puts Bret in a sleeper hold, but Bret kicks the turnbuckle pad in the corner, and the momentum puts Bret on top of Piper for the 3 count, and the win, at 13:50. I can't describe the finish any better than that, sorry. It was like Bret-Austin at Survivor Series 1996.   Match Analysis: I won't say too much, but this match is WAY underrated. I don't see what keeps this from being a great match, considering that most people don't put it in that category. It told a great story, and moreover, helped launch Bret on his push that culminated in him winning the WWF title later in the year. Would it have been the same had Bret beaten the Mountie (or insert mid-card heel here) at WM 8 to get the title back? No, of course it wouldn't have. ****1/4. One of my favorite matches. ___________________   Same as the Undertaker DVD. When the rest is posted later this month, a full rating will follow. I'll say this much though, what they've posted is definitely watchable. I didn't particularly enjoy the Wild Samoans stuff from last month.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 2/9/08, featuring a Boston Garden house show from the 80's, an original ECW show, and Smackdown.

I usually don't do the house shows unless something really catches my eye, and in this case, something did. You'll see what it was, later. So yeah, 9-6-86 show from the Boston Garden. ___________________   So, our first match from Boston is a fantastic singles competition between Sivi Afi and Pete Doherty.   - Jobberific! Gorilla says something about how Afi wanted to be called "Toma" now...I believe this indicates that Afi was going to be the second Islander, as Haku's partner. If anything, it's a rough draft, so to speak.   - Afi's matches are usually paced well, but not this one, because Doherty has quite a few years on his body, to say the least. Afi gives him a crossbody off the top at 7:02, and that gives him the victory via pinfall. *1/4. The rating is self explanatory. ___________________   This is one of the reasons I watched the show, but not THE reason. Yes, it's the Hart Foundation vs. the US Express.   - I suppose I'll never understand why Rotunda's name always changed to Rotundo, and vice versa. I don't think I could ever get used to the Hart Foundation not wearing pink and black. Black and turquoise here...   - Bret botched a leapfrog over Spivey in the middle of the match, because Spivey is so tall. I laughed. The Express sorta play heel, but because they represent the US, the crowd never boos them, you see. At around 10 minutes, I was pretty sure that this was going to be a 20 minute draw. It was a 20 minute draw after the bell rang at 18:32, but my favorite part of the match was the extremely long chase around the ring sequence. Spivey chased both members of the Hart Foundation in succession for about 30 seconds each. **1/2. The crowd didn't really care all that much. ___________________   Although I know that George Steele is the guy facing Macho Man Randy Savage w/Elizabeth for the Intercontinental Title, this is the reason I watched the show. I never can get enough of watching Savage.   - Steele attacks Savage at the start with...a BODYSLAM! Wow, Steele did an actual wrestling move. Savage hits Steele multiple times with a foreign object that he had hidden in his tights, and I loved it. Talk about a blind ref, he didn't even notice.   - They be brawlin', until Savage gets hit with a chair by Steele at...no time. I don't even think the bell sounded to start the match. Obviously, Steele gets disqualified. Savage runs backstage, and while Steele celebrates, Savage attacks him. Steele comes back, and Savage runs backstage, only to come back again and be thwarted in his attack by Steele. *1/2, which is saying a lot in regards to a Steele match. Steele brings a few kids in the ring, and they eat turnbuckles with him. How nice. ___________________   Rene Goulet vs. Pedro Morales is....   Whoops, I believe I accidentally hit the fast forward button on my remote control. ___________________   Our next match is King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd w/Bobby Heenan vs. The Machines. Big and Super are the two Machines taking part in this match.   - Big Machine is played by Blackjack Mulligan, and Super Machine is played by Bill Eadie, who most would know as Demolition Ax. There you have it.   - Hosstastic! There's a lot of beef in the ring. Heenan comes on commentary...lots of trash is being thrown at Bundy and Studd, throughout the match. It gets worse when Studd and Bundy argue, and even worse than that when Heenan breaks up a pin attempt on Studd, getting his team DQ'd at 9:06. Brain grabs a microphone, and wants the Machines to get a partner for next month. Oh yeah, son! *3/4. ___________________   Seeing as Heenan got all upset, he won't be accompaning KING Harley Race for his match against Corporal Kirchner.   - This show is pretty star-studded. The guy in the front row has two fingers for Kirchner. Guess which ones.   - This is a strange matchup, to put it nicely. The match is a showcase of all Harley's signature moves and bumps, so I enjoyed it. It's a little too long, though, as evidenced by the bored crowd. Kirchner comes off the rope with a crossbody, but Race reverses it, getting the win at 13:46. **. Such an overused finish in the 80's, but I rarely see it now. Not sure if that's good or bad, but everything now is hit your finisher (or multiple finisher sequence), pin. Throw in some variation, please. ___________________   Cowboy Bob Orton is facing a hillbilly, thankfully, it's the one that can wrestle a little, Cousin Luke.   - Orton is Adrian Adonis' bodyguard at this time, which explains his pink hat that he wore to the ring. There's a gigantic boring chant, so this ended quickly. Figured. Luke charged into an Orton knee, and got pinned at 4:12. 1/2*. With Luke's buddies, this could've been terrible. ___________________   Our main event is Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik w/Slick vs. The British Bulldogs, for the WWF Tag Team Titles.   - Volkoff's rendition of the Russian national anthem always gets big heel heat. There's only been two dead wrestlers on the show. I was taken aback by that, because most of the time when watching these old shows, I think about how so many wrestlers that I used to watch have died.   - Gorilla Monsoon talked with Slick during a part of the match, and said that Slick had big lips. Ok, Gorilla didn't really say that. He said he'd give him bigger lips than the ones he already has if he didn't shut it.   - The scroll in the scoreboard area at Boston Garden says that it'll be PIPER MACHINE teaming up with the Machines against Heenan, Bundy and Studd next month. I figured they'd give it away to sell tickets. Bulldog rolls Sheik up at the end of an underwhelming match, the cradle gets reversed twice by Dynamite and once by Volkoff, but it still gives the British Bulldogs the win at 10:57. **. Sheik and Davey were on the canvas for about a 30 count. For real. That's the end of the show, obviously. ___________________   Show was, eh, good. For a house show, your standards have to be lowered. You just have to be glad to see a good collection of talent in competitive matches. We had that here, so its good. I try to take the perspective of a fan that paid good money for a ticket with house shows. Best match was the Hart Foundation vs. the US Express, and the worst was probably Rene Goulet vs. Pedro Morales. The worst I watched was Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke. ___________________   ECW from 2/18/96 was next...this show was a jumbled mess, albeit fun, so my typing is going to look like a jumbled mess too. ___________________   Missy Hyatt and Sandman talked about masturbation with Sandman's singapore cane at the beginning of the show, which somehow segued into a 6 man tag, as the Bad Crew took on Dino Sendoff, the Dirtbike Kid and Don E. Allen.   The crowd SHIT all over it. The Bad Crew squashed these guys, and Sandman came in after the match, to cane all of them. The audience liked that. ___________________   Intro to the show and all that, as Joey Styles is in the ring. The lights go off...and it's BRIAN FUCKING PILLMAN, who appears in the middle of the ring ! Sign Guy has a sign that says, "don't work me!" That was great. Obviously, this is the scene of his insane promo. I'll just post it.     My favorite part was when Shane said, "he's shooting!" See, those words, for me anyway, have become synonymous with WCW, so to hear them here reminded me of Shane Douglas in WCW 2000. ___________________   Joey Styles hypes Taz as being a real loose cannon, so Bill Alfonso has to start talkin', on this little video. I love him. He rambled the whole time..."I'm eating steak!"   The Gangstas were supposed to face The Headhunters on this show, but New Jack found himself in jail. Excuse me for a second. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Anyway, the Headhunters beat on Mustafa Saed.   Now we get to the Headhunters match, and they're taking on the surprise team of...the BRUISE BROTHERS. Oh no. Tommy Dreamer had brought them in for the night, Joey says. More on that later.   - Yeah, they were facing a surprise team. I guess when they meant surprise, they meant it in the worst way. The Bruise Brothers are the Harris Brothers, in case you didn't know.   - It's a brawl, but you couldn't see anything for a good sized portion of what was shown. Is that a good thing? I think so. One of the Harris Brothers pinned a Headhunter, and a Headhunter pinned a Harris, at the same time. But the Harris Brothers won, as their pin was the one that was counted. ___________________   We get the marcea hatt omves lal runoda with Lance Wright, and then, clips from Stevie Richards and the Eliminators vs. The Pitbulls and Francine in a Dog Collar Match. There's really nothing of importance, except for a few Super Bombs. We moved forward, and as the Eliminators were choking out the Pitbulls with their chains, Francine pinned Stevie for a 3 count. For that, everyone was Totally Eliminated after the match. That's the price you pay.   The Eliminators cut a promo, and show us a video of many of their TOTAL ELIMINATIONS. ___________________   Buh Buh Ray Dudley faces Mr. Hughes right now...I never got the whole Mr. Hughes thing. Big Dick Dudley wouldn't allow Hughes to beat on Buh Buh, so he kicks Hughes' ass, and Buh Buh gives Hughes a big splash off the top for the 3 count after about 30 seconds. DUD. ___________________   Joey Styles is with Tommy Dreamer....but here comes Raven. Raven talks about what happens to liars in other countries, and since Tommy got Beulah pregnant, he insinuates that he'll cut Tommy's dick off. The Harris Brothers and Shane Douglas come to the ring at the sound of that, and Tommy asks Shane to get Beulah out of here. When Shane's gone, the Harris Brothers attack Tommy and ram him dick-first into the ringpost, over and over. Remember, the Harris Brothers were supposed to be Tommy's friends. That's the end of the show. ___________________   Next time, I'll just write a paragraph or two about the ECW show. It was all over the place. I can't even rate it. ___________________   Last, I watched Smackdown, from Corpus Christi. ___________________   The first segment is a repeat of Monday. You know, how all 6 participants in the Elimination Chamber came to the ring and cut promos, but this one ended as Taker appeared in the ring after the lights were turned out. Also, we get a 6 man tag tonight, just like on RAW. USE DIFFERENT IDEAS. ___________________   The first match on the show was a rematch from ECW last week, Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane.   - Before the match, THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NUUUH   - Kane gets a LOT of offense. After knocking Shelton back into the ring from the outside, Kane gets counted out, at 6:02. *1/2. Kane getting all that offense wasn't necessarily a good thing. ___________________   Chuck Palumbo faced Jamie Noble w/Michelle McCool next....   - Too much punch, kick. Noble flew off the top to the outside and landed on Chuck's bike, so Chuck tossed Noble into the ring and finished him off at 3:56. *.   After the match, Chuck whipped Noble's ass. The only bad thing about this angle is that I don't necessarily buy Chuck as a guy who has the "whoop ass mentality." Chuck was going to run Noble over with his motorcycle, but he didn't. He should've.   WWE did some positive stuff in China, because they have an office there. This was one of those, "we're a company who cares about the people" pieces. ___________________   The next match was a tag team match, featuring Jesse and Festus who were taking on Deuce & Domino w/Cherry.   - Is Festus supposed to be a retard? Anyway, the ringbell rang and he went nuts. The match finished with after a flapjack variation by Festus at 4:00. 3/4*, that gimmick is AWFUL. ___________________   Edge has his interview segment up next, that being the CUTTING EDGE, and his guest is Vickie Guerrero. Edge says he has a surprise for her on Valentine's Day, but what he really wants is for Rey Mysterio to come out and apologize to her for accidentally giving her a 619 at the Rumble. Rey comes out, and tries to explain himself, but gets slapped twice by Vickie. Edge attacks Rey, and grabs two chairs from outside of the ring. Rey kicks one into his face, and gives him a 619. Edge goes out of the ring, but Rey jumps onto him, ending their little spat. Rey tells Vickie he's sorry, and leaves. ___________________   This new interviewer is with Edge, and asks him if he's going to propose to Vickie Guerrero next week. He says that it isn't any of her business. ___________________   Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang are set to take on the Edgeheads...   - Just kill me now. I hate Yang's stupid dance.   - At one moment, I thought Yang had hurt his wrist, but really, he just sold it very well. Curt Hawkins pinned Shannon Moore after a curtain call at 3:31. *1/4. Glad to see Moore and Yang lose. ___________________   Time for the main event, that being The Great Khali, MVP and Big Daddy V vs. Batista, the Undertaker, and Finlay.   - There's a commercial break after the entrances, and when we come back,the match is on. I really want to know who thought it was a good idea to repeat booking on both brands. I also want to know if anyone thinks the Elimination Chamber with these six will be any good.   - There's really no other way to put it, except that this is awful. You have two guys who only do good work with each other, and they're on the same team. You have two that cannot wrestle, one whose age is seemingly beginning to affect his in-ring work, and the last one is too small for his heat segment work with Taker to be believable. After 14:26 of DOGSHIT, Finlay hits Khali with the shillelagh, getting himself disqualified. The babyfaces tease dissension, and that ends the show. DUD. ___________________   First hour was good, second was probably the worst TV I've seen from WWE in the last month and a half. Show was TERRIBLE. Now that I've finally called a show terrible, I can explain how I rate shows like that. For PPV's, it takes two negative star matches, and nothing over ****. For TV shows, it takes nothing over *1/2, and at least one DUD, plus uninteresting angles, like the Edge/Vickie and Jesse/Festus stuff. Best segment was...Chuck Palumbo's beatdown of Jamie Noble, and the worst was easily the awful six man tag which ended the show. ___________________   The Savage and Liz Coliseum Video review will be up sometime tomorrow. I almost forgot. Entry #100. Yay.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 2/7/08, featuring RAW, a few thoughts on ladder matches, and WWEECW.

This is the first time I haven't really been too jazzed about watching RAW. It'll probably be crap. ___________________   From Austin, Texas, we have a contract signing, but we also have a John Cena vs. Mark Henry in an armwrestling contest later. Randy Orton wants John Cena to sign a contract so he can't back out of the match at No Way Out. Unless Orton attacks and bloodies him, I don't see the point of this. Cena gets a huge positive reaction when he makes his way out, and signs the contract. Mark Henry runs down to the ring to attack Cena, but Orton gives Cena an RKO first. Smart move. ___________________   We get a Steve Austin DVD promo next...I would've bought this a few years ago, but since then, I've only bought two or three wrestling DVD's, those being the Jake Roberts DVD, Bret Hart DVD and HBK DVD. I wanted to buy the World Class one, but didn't.   Randy Orton's with Mark Henry, so Todd Grisham pops in for an interview bit. Orton justifies his actions, as we go to... ___________________   Kelly Kelly and Mickie James vs. Victoria and Beth Phoenix.   - Uh, brand extension? I wouldn't say anything if it was ever attempted to justify why two non-RAW wrestlers were in the matches they're usually in. Say they were loaned to the show, or something. Mickie's almost as over as Trish was, if not more so.   - Mickie pins Victoria after a tornado DDT at 2:42. Nothing spectacular. *1/4.   William Regal is with Hornswoggle, and he thinks Hornswoggle should be proud of joining the "Kiss my Ass" club tonight. You know, because Regal's a member! ___________________   Shawn Michaels comes out for a promo, cause he's putting everyone who's going to be in the Elimination Chamber on notice. I saw that the entrance was on the right side of the screen as opposed to the left side this week, and the same goes for their new video wall. It's all in reverse. Why? Chris Jericho interrupts HBK, because he doesn't think he'll win the Elimination Chamber. Y2J will, but Jeff Hardy believes otherwise. He has the desire to be in the main event at WrestleMania, you see. JBL REALLY doesn't think so. He says that Texas is a pile of trash, and that's why he left. Mega heel heat for that. JBL says that he'll pay Umaga to protect him in the chamber. So, obviously, UMAGA makes his way to the ring, and quickly thereafter, comes Snitsky. Snitsky says that he should be allowed into the Elimination Chamber. Umaga can't speak English, so he didn't say anything. HBK says that Snitsky only deserves dental care, and now, they all brawl. At least, until William Regal comes out. It'll be Snitsky, JBL and UMANGA vs. HBK, Y2J and Jeff Hardy in a 6 man tag, later tonight. ___________________   Mr. Kennedy faces Super Crazy next...   - I'm surprised that Super Crazy hasn't been released yet. I'm sure he will be soon.   - Anyhow, there's very good psychology in this match. Kennedy applies a strange looking figure-four, and that gets Super Crazy to submit at 2:30. **. The microphone comes down, and we see a clip from MVP vs. Ric Flair on Smackdown last week. MVP got disqualified after not releasing a figure-four, so he attacked Flair after the match. He took Flair out, so to speak. Next week, Kennedy is going to give Flair a chance to forfeit their match at No Way Out. That won't happen.   Mike Adamle is in the crowd, hyping No Way Out. He's been good with this. ___________________   It's Carlito and Santino Marella w/Maria vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick, now.   - I'm starting to get sick of the same guys jobbing every week. It's very annoying.   - Anyway, London chases Santino around the ring for more than half the match, and Carlito gives Kendrick a BACKSTABBER, which gets him the pinfall at 1:08. 1/2* I think that was the first time that Santino did something that was supposed to be funny and I didn't laugh. It was stupid.   Vince McMahon is with a guy who's buffing his ass. What the fuck? ___________________   Let's get this over with quickly. Vince comes to the ring to talk about how all children should kiss their parents asses, literally. This was a great reason to flip the channel and never watch this show again, but I didn't change it. Should I have? Probably. Anyway, this segment was pretty disturbing. Hornswoggle comes out, and won't kiss Vince's ass. "My eyes!" Finlay comes to the ring, and Vince tells him that he's going to kiss his ass once Hornswoggle is done. Hornswoggle then bites Vince on the ass...isn't that worse than kissing it? Next week, it'll be Vince vs. Hornswoggle in a NO DQ match. And if Finlay interferes, HE'LL BE FIRED! I'm glad the crowd sat on their hands during that segment. It was terrible. ___________________   Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch faced Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (World Tag Team Champions) in a non-title match after that pile of junk segment, and...   - I haven't seen the champions defend these titles once. That's pretty bad.   - I don't hate Cody, but he's way too bland. He shouldn't even be on TV, yet. He DDT's Murdoch and picks up the win at 2:14. *. Carlito and Santino come out, because they're the new #1 contenders. That's all they had to say.   The Divas did Project Runway, this show on Bravo where these wannabe fashion designers, design clothes, obviously. I've never watched it. ___________________   Here's our main event, UMAGA, Snitsky and JBL vs. Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho.   - But for Snitsky, this could be very good. HBK gets a huge pop when they start the match, because this is Texas. I've noticed that JR has been a better announcer than when I quit watching a few years back. He doesn't bungle stuff nearly as often.   - Before the commercial break, all three babyfaces plancha'd onto an opponent, in stereo. That was cool. The heat segment on Chris Jericho killed the match. I nearly fell asleep. Snitsky and Umaga just applied a hold and sat there during their respective stints in the ring. I absolutely CANNOT stand that.   - The hot tag was made to Jeff Hardy, and then everyone hit a finisher, which ended with Jeff Hardy giving Snitsky the SWANTON BOMB at 15:12. Hot finish, hot start. Awful middle. I suppose I'll be kind and give it **1/4. ___________________   Candice Michelle returns to RAW soon, but I don't really care.   John Cena is going to face Mark Henry in an arm wrestling match, because Cena is at 100%, you know. Honestly, this kind of stuff reminds me too much of the Scott Steiner/HHH feud that SHOOK THE FOUNDATIONS of RAW in early 2003. Anyway, nobody wins the arm wrestling contest, because we have interference! Randy Orton tries to attack Cena from behind, but he bails out when Cena begins to make a comeback. Mark Henry's in trouble, F-U, end show. ___________________   This was a bad show. Really bad. Best segment was the six man tag, which isn't to say much at all, and the worst was the ridiculousness of having an arm wrestling contest on a wrestling program. Just WRESTLE, why don't you. ___________________   Before RAW, I watched parts 3 and 4 of the Ladder Match DVD that's been posted on 24/7. Why put it after RAW, you ask? Because I can. I just rated and noticed a few things about the matches which took place on RAW. I had a lot going on Tuesday.   The first one which took place on RAW was Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero for the Intercontinental Championship from 5/27/02.   - The part where the fan ran into the ring was cut out, which sucked. I have this match on the Eddie DVD, so nothing really stood out to me on a whole that I hadn't noticed before. It isn't the best ladder match, but it's pretty damn good. RVD wins the match after 20 minutes, btw. ****. ___________________   The 2nd ladder match that took place on RAW was Jeff Hardy vs. the Undertaker for the Undisputed Title from 7/1/02.   - I am and I probably always will be in favor of bringing back the Undisputed Title. With two World Titles, you kinda see a lot of the same things happen on each brand within a few months of each other. That's a problem.   - This match was better than I remembered it, which isn't really to say a lot, because I was working my ass off in football and didn't really pay attention to wrestling at the time. A great job was done of building the crowd to believe that Jeff could really win the title. Taker did great, and Jeff did great. Obviously Taker won, at 14:05. ***3/4. ___________________   The last match in these two parts which took place on RAW was Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Bubba Ray and Spike Dudley vs. RVD and Jeff Hardy vs. Kane in TLC match for the World Tag Team Titles from 10/7/02.   - Hurricane was gone, after being attacked by Ric Flair and HHH before the match.   - IMO, this match is better than all the other TLC matches. Hands down. I take back what I said about TLC 1 being the best. The flow was better. The spots were better, and you don't necessarily need tons and tons of falls off the top of ladders through tables to make a match great. This one was really, really fun. Plus, my cousin thought it was the best match he'd seen. So there. *****. Next time I see this one, I'll give it the full review it deserves. Outstanding. ___________________   Now, we have WWECW, from Corpus Christi, TX. This show was a pile of shit, so my notes are VERY short. I was thoroughly bored. ___________________   CM Punk came to the ring, and showed us video from last week where he attacked Chavo Guerrero during a fiesta to celebrate his championship win in the previous week. Chavo comes to the ring, and says that Punk insulted his heritage. Armando Estrada is outside of the building, and says that these two will fight each other in a Gulf of Mexico match. To win, you have to throw your opponent into the water. WOW. We have WrestleCrap occuring right before our eyes, between two wrestlers I like. This is embarassing. At No Way Out, Punk gets a title shot, so it's all good. ___________________   Our first match is Kelly Kelly and Michelle McCool vs. Victoria and Layla.   - This was not very good. At least someone who knows how to wrestle won, that being Victoria, after she gave Kelly Kelly the Widow's Peak at 2:42. 1/4*.   Kane faces Shelton Benjamin on Smackdown this week...hey, now I'm definitely going to watch the show. Seriously. ___________________   John Morrison w/The Miz vs. Tommy Dreamer w/Collin Delaney was our first singles match on the night...   - Last week, Delaney was beaten by Morrison and the Miz in a handicap match. Tommy Dreamer went out to help after the match, so here we are. I suppose Dreamer is his protector.   - Morrison tried to do a sky twister press and nearly landed on his head. Save that for the smaller guys, me thinks. Miz became a punching bag for Dreamer later in the match, but it also allowed Morrison to hit Dreamer with a neckbreaker variation for the win, so it worked. Didn't get the time. *3/4.   Stevie Richards had a sitdown interview with Joey Styles, hopefully he'll be back soon. The brand could use him. ___________________   Kofi Kingston faces James Curtis next...   - This wasn't very good either. Kingston won with his kick, and my time disappeared. Needless to say, I wasn't about to go find it. DUD. ___________________   Here's the Gulf of Mexico match, between CM Punk and Chavo Guerrero.   - I thought these two should have an Extreme Rules match, but not like this. Dusty's hand is all over this show. They brawled out of the arena, and tossed each other onto cars. I liked it.   - The concept is definitely WrestleCrap, but the actual match wasn't, at all. Punk GTS'd Chavo into the Gulf at 7:12. **1/4. Good match, and end show. ___________________   The show as a whole was a pile of shit. There were decent matches, but it was so uninteresting. I'll call it bad, best segment was the Gulf of Mexico match and the worst was Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis. Kingston has not been good thus far. ___________________   Next column will have the Boston show from 9/6/86 (I already took notes, so I'm not backing out), original ECW, and Friday Night Smackdown. Should be up on Saturday.   The Savage and Liz Coliseum Video is going to get a review all on its own, which should be up on Sunday, I think. I have this planned out well, for once.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1/31/08, featuring RAW and Nitro from 5/26/1997.

I didn't watch ECW, and after reading the results, I'm not going to track it down. While I understand that Shelton Benjamin wouldn't have gone over Kane after getting the better of him, why book that match in the first place then? A countout just leaves everyone looking stupid. ___________________   First, we have Nitro from Nashville, Tennessee, which took place on 5/26/97.   Here comes the NWO at the beginning of the show...but really, just Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff. I had a feeling at this point that these assholes in the front row with their signs would obstruct my view for the whole show, but they didn't. Hogan talks about hangin' with Nasty Nick and Brooke in the Bahamas (yes, I laughed), and how Sting's gonna be snapped in half tonight, brah. He wants Sting out now, of course, Sting does not comply. This feels like a huge show. ___________________   Our first match on the night fits with the huge show thing, given that this is Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo and Hector Garza vs. LA PARKA, Ciclope and Damien.   - It was heatless, until Calo practically flew over his opponent when diving out of the ring onto him, landing in the crowd. Back leg front kicks are abound in this match...why does Tony call them that?   - Garza corkscrew plancha's onto everyone, then powerbombs Ciclope in the ring, and pins him after a standing moonsault for the three count at 6:26. **3/4. Very fun, very good. ___________________   We went to a commercial, and came back right as Alex Wright vs. Psychosis was starting.   - Alex Wright, hell yes! I thought the Nick Patrick reinstatement angle would rear its ugly head in this, but I was wrong. That's good.   - We get...the DANCE!!!! Wright does it a whole bunch, but Psychosis kicks his ass. Psychosis pins Wright after a guillotine legdrop from the top, for 3 at 4:07. *3/4, cause Psychosis kinda blew a plancha, and barely touched Wright with it.   Mean Gene is with Sonny Onoo, who says that Masa Chono is gonna get some tonight. Onoo makes some sort of deal with Psychosis, and there's Madusa. Kinda saw that coming. She wants a shot at Akira Hokuto, and says she'll do anything. Onoo excepts, and if Madusa loses at the Great American Bash, she has to retire. Nobody cared. ___________________   The next match is Mark Starr vs. Wrath w/Mortis and James Vandenberg.   - This'll be very short, as the announcers put over Wrath's karate background. I really don't know what to say about that. Mortis is on guard duty to keep Glacier away, and when Starr is tossed out of the ring, Mortis goes to work on him. Wrath squashes Starr, and finishes things up with the DEATH PENALTY at 2:34. *1/2. While this Mortis/Wrath/Glacier/Ernest Miller stuff is really stupid, I like it. ___________________   Back from the break, with Villano IV vs. Konnan.   - Apparently, Konnan turned on Hugh Morrus at Slamboree. Good.   - This isn't a squash, thankfully. Morrus tries to attack Konnan, but Doug Dillinger and his great security team prevent him from getting to the ring. Meanwhile, Konnan puts Villano IV in the TEQUILA SUNRISE, which gets the submission victory at 3:10. *1/4. Mean Gene comes in to ask a few questions to Konnan, who says he's for la raza. Forget Kevin Sullivan and Morrus. ___________________   Here's Onoo, and his surprise for tonight's match against Chono is...THE GREAT MUTA.   - Thought so. Chono's NWO, see. We get 2:12 of nothing, and during a headlock, Muta releases the hold and RED MISTS Onoo in the face, at 3:03. So, Muta's NWO 4 LIFE. Can't really rate that. ___________________   It's HOUR #2, and Bobby Heenan's wearing a pajama shirt while on commentary. We have a paid announcement by the NWO, with MACHO MADNESS, YEAHHHH! He's talking about the Great American Bash.   DDP and Kimberly make their way to Mean Gene, as I suddenly notice that there's been a red carpet laid down the aisle. Is this just for them, or has it been there? I'll have to check. It's only a typical DDP promo, but Savage doesn't come down and interfere this time.   Ok, the Red Carpet wasn't there all along, but someone got lazy and left it there for the rest of the show. Typical WCW. ___________________   The first match of Hour #2 is the Barbarian w/Jimmy Hart vs. Jim Powers w/Teddy Long.   - So, I see that Powers stayed roided up after the 80's were long gone. I had absolutely no interest in this, and neither did the crowd. I suppose it's good that a big boot by the Barbarian ended things for Powers at 3:18. DUD. ___________________   Our next match is a three-on-one handicap match, with Johnny Swinger, Jerry Flynn and Rick Fuller taking on the Giant w/Lex Luger.   - The Incredible Hulk Giant doesn't have any music. Ok. I thought these would be three local jobbers, but they aren't, at all. Their triple team does nothing to the Giant, so he CHOKESLAMS all of them and pins Swinger and Flynn at 2:16. *. Cool squash.   Mean Gene comes out, to talk with Luger and the Giant. See, Hogan and Dennis Rodman have this open contract for a tag match at Bash at the Beach '97. Luger and the Giant want to sign that contract.   On the Road with Lee Marshall in Dayton, Ohio is a sure FF... ___________________   Here comes...SYXX. He's talking about Flair, and we see video of what happened last week. A town killer for sure, given that it happened in North Carolina. Here come the Outsiders, but no hey, yo treatment here. They want to give Piper and Flair a chance at their tag team titles. They'll retire Flair, this is NWO TERRITORY, NWO 4 LIFE, 2 SWEEEEET and all that. ___________________   Our main event is Jeff Jarrett and Mongo w/Debra vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri.   - A few weeks ago, this match was supposed to happen, but it was Jarrett for pretty much the duration. And it sucked. Let me tell you, this is just as exciting.   - WCW is coming to LA and Detroit. Yay! Mongo runs over to Greene at way too late a point in the match for this to still be going, and they brawl to the back. Booker comes in, and gives Jarrett a HARLEM SIDEKICK, getting Harlem Heat the win at 10:13. 1/2*. Really, really bad, with no commercials to spare me from the action. ___________________   It's the same two as earlier, Hogan and Bischoff. The NWO Belt is on the line, if only Sting would come out here. They can't find Sting, because...HE'S UNDER THE RING.   IT'S STING!   Oh, wait a sec. Hogan asks Sting to get on his knees, and Sting does.   IT'S FAKE STING!   Fake Sting is on his knees, worshipping the ground that Hogan spits on. Figures. He says he wishes he could be Hollywood and...   IT'S STING!   From out of the rafters he comes, and gives Bischoff a SCORPION DEATHDROP! Hogan sees him, and he's scared shitless. He falls over Fake Sting, and runs back to the entrance. Sting beats on the fake with a bat, and here comes the cavalry, meaning the entire NWO. Sting reattaches his hook, and rides back toward the ceiling, so that the NWO can't get to him, ending the show. ___________________   Nitro was a pile of poop, for the most part. Poor show, outside of the opening and end. Best segment was obviously the ending, and the worst was Barbarian vs. Powers. At least the Mongo stuff had some sort of angle going on, and the Jarrett/Mongo tension. ___________________   RAW, from the same night, in Evansville, Indiana is next.   Unfortunately, Vince McMahon is on commentary. Boo. Here comes STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD and Shawn Michaels to talk with Jim Ross. Austin says he's the captain of this team, and LOD come to the ring. They want a title shot on RAW next week if the first mentioned team win their match against Owen Hart and the British Bulldog tonight. The challengers say sure, and then, Austin and HBK argue even more. ___________________   Our first match, is Brian Pillman and Jim Neidhart w/the rest of the Hart Foundation vs. LOD.   - The Hart Foundation stays at the top of the stage, like they always do.   - Seeing as Pillman's a loose cannon, he gets beat up the whole time. That makes sense. LOD's going to give Pillman the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, so the Hart Foundation runs in and prevents that from taking place at 4:26, getting Pillman and Neidhart DQ'd. *1/4. HBK and Austin go to help LOD, but Shawn accidentally baseball slides into Austin, while the Harts bail out. So, HBK and Austin brawl. Good post match, as I expected.   Paul Bearer's backstage, and Taker better do as he says! ___________________   D'Lo Brown is making his RAW wrestling debut against Bob Holly now, as the Nation goes back to, well, the back.   - Faarooq stays around, for commentary. The match is essentially Holly getting squashed, which is to say it's nothing special at all. D'Lo powerbombs Holly, and pins him at 3:10. *1/2.   Taker's in the back, talking about how tough it is to make the decision he'll have to make later.   Then Jerry Lawler cuts a promo on Goldust, in which he calls him a flaming fag for his usual in-ring antics. That was great. ___________________   So, yeah, Jerry Lawler is facing Goldust w/Marlena in a King of the Ring First Round match.   - Lawler gets a gigantic pop, obviously because Evansville was a regular Memphis stop. His piledriver didn't finish the match, so that sucked. Still, the Lawler chant is great.   - Marlena slapping Lawler was funny, as was him pinning Goldust with his feet on the ropes at 5:10 to win a very good match. **1/4. Goldust attacks Lawler after the match, and gets decent heel heat.   Steve Austin's in the lockerroom, where the Hart Foundation jumps him. Ha. We go to a commercial, and the same happened to HBK, as Austin goes into his lockerroom to find out why Shawn didn't have his back. ___________________   Flash Funk vs. Rocky Maivia is our next match.   - So, a face vs. face match. Sure thing that a heel runs in.   - And here we are, the Headbangers have come ringside for a party. They're not really heels, but they'll interfere. They do, when both men go outside the ring. What the fuck? Mosh hits Flash Funk with a boombox, and tosses him back in, where Rocky gives him a crossbody off the top for a 3 count at 3:35. *3/4. Funk and Rocky shake hands after the match, to show that there aren't any hard feelings. What's up with that Headbanger nonsense?   Bret Hart's on the TitanTron, and says he'll definitely be able to beat Shawn Michaels in 10 minutes. Pillman's supposed to face Austin at the King of the Ring too, but obviously, things changed. And you'll find out how, later. ___________________   Welcome to the Warzone, where guys like Ahmed Johnson and Vader do battle.   - Ken Shamrock's on commentary during this match. You know, his entrance music changes every week, at this point. Ahmed isn't getting crowd reactions like earlier in the year, so this isn't what it would've been in, say, February.   - There's a UFC ad in here, which ties into the match because Vader and Ahmed are doing this gay ass faux MMA striking shit. It looks like two retards are fighting each other. Ahmed gives Vader a spinebuster, which gains the pinfall for him at 3:05. Kinda outta nowhere. 3/4*.   Paul Bearer is going to come out at the end of the show, so Taker better decide quickly! ___________________   HHH w/Chyna is facing Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man now....   - It's weird to see a face v. face and a heel v. heel match on the same show. Given the participants in this match, there's an obvious connection here. Funny how things work out. Honky was going to hit HHH in the head with his guitar, but Chyna prevents that and bodyslams Honky, and HHH gives Rockabilly the PEDIGREE for the pinfall at 3:17. *1/4. ___________________   Mankind interview part #2...features a lot of great footage, but you just have to find it. I can't really cover everything he says. Loved it, though. ___________________   Up next is what we've all been waiting for, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart & the British Bulldog for the WWF Tag Team Championships.   Blow-by-blow: This was of importance, see. The video's messed up a little, for some reason, but the audio isn't. And Vince says that Austin's going to open a can of whoop-ass. Shawn pescado's his way onto Bulldog during the champions ring entrance, which is when I started timing. The bell rings a bit after, when they get in the ring. Austin knees and elbowdrops Owen three times, before going for the SHARPSHOOTER. Bulldog keeps that from happening, and Austin goes to the 2nd, giving Owen another elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Shawn tags in, and goes up top, giving Owen an axhandle on the way down. He goes to punch Bulldog and grabs onto Owen's arm, but Owen reverses the hold and gouges Shawn in the eye. Bulldog tags in and shoulderblocks Shawn, but Shawn pokes him in the eye when he tries again, and gives Bulldog a hurricanrana. He beats on the champions, and gives Bulldog an enziguri for 2. Austin tags in, and kicks Bulldog right in the nuts as the ref is distracted. Austin tags Shawn in after choking Bulldog, but he tags right back in after about 2 seconds. Austin armwrings Bulldog, but Owen comes in to stop that, and after a Bulldog clothesline, Owen gets tagged in. He dumps Austin to the outside, and drops him throat-first along the guardrail. The rest of the Hart Foundation, save Bret, comes closer to the ring, and we go to a   COMMERCIAL BREAK.   Owen has Austin in a chinlock when we come back, which will end all ***** talk if there's another. Austin powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries to do it again, Owen puts him in a sleeper. Austin gives him a jawbreaker, and here comes Shawn and Bulldog. Shawn gives Bulldog the flying forearm and kips up, before giving Bulldog a dropkick. Shawn runs the ropes again, but Bulldog has him up in gorilla press position, where he THROWS Shawn nut first into the top rope. Holy fuck, I bet that hurt. Owen slams Shawn into the post, and brings him back in afterward, where Bulldog pokes him in the eye. Bulldog slingshots Shawn into a turnbuckle for 2, and whips him into another turnbuckle where Shawn goes upside down. Bulldog then picks Shawn up, and gives him a running powerslam for 2, as Austin breaks the cover. Owen switches in, adn gives Shawn a gutwrench suplex and legdrop for 2. Owen goes to a chinlock, and *****'s are gone. Shawn powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries it again he's given a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Shawn gives Owen a sunset flip, but the referee is distracted, so it only gets a 2 count. Bulldog comes in with a clothesline, and a legdrop for a 2 count, prior to applying a front facelock. Owen comes in during a fake tag in which Austin distracts the official, and places Shawn on the top rope. Shawn knocks Owen off, and gives him a crossbody, which only gets a 2 count. When Owen gets up, he quickly gives Shawn a spinning heel kick, but misses a charge at Shawn, which gives him the opportunity to tag Austin. When Austin gets in, he cleans house. HOUSE. He tries to give Bulldog a STUNNER after the beatdowns, but Owen prevents that from happening. Shawn hops in and gives Bulldog SWEET CHIN MUSIC, which allows Austin to cover Bulldog at 10:28, for the Tag Titles. New champions! The Harts run into the ring and jump Shawn, but Bret's still at the top of the stage. Austin pretty much says, "forget Shawn, cause he didn't help me earlier," so he goes and attacks Bret's knee. He pounds on it, until the cavalry arrives to help Bret, not even thinking about following Austin to the back. So, now you know how they got out of Bret vs. Shawn at King of the Ring.   Match Analysis: That was one of the most action packed matches I've ever seen. The action was so fast that my hand started hurting, and that hasn't happened to me yet since I've been writing. Anyway, ****1/2. 1/4 off for the two chinlocks, and 1/4 off for the finish that came a little too quick after the hot tag for my taste. Still, you must watch this match. Great booking, great pace, great wrestling. Great everything. ___________________   After, Austin tells the video camera that he did this all by himself, and when HBK comes in, they argue. Winning titles didn't change a thing.   Paul Bearer's finally in the ring, with Vince McMahon. Taker's time is up, so he's talking. He tells the crowd that when Taker's parents died, there were three graves. And that's enough to bring Taker to the ring, in a hurry. Taker hates Bearer, and says that Bearer won't be able to talk once he's done with him. But that said, he has to kneel before Bearer and do exactly what Bearer wants. End show. Hmm... ___________________   This was one of the best RAW's I've ever seen. Excellent is the rating you receive. Best segment was that amazing tag team match, and the worst was Ahmed/Vader. I hated it.   RAW was, needless to say, way better. My Clash I review will be up on Friday or Saturday, depends on how much typing time I have tonight and early tomorrow.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-29-08, featuring Smackdown, and RAW.

The column got pushed back a day because I ordered the Rumble. No biggie, right? ___________________   I'm going to copy my notes for Smackdown, seeing as the Rumble changed a ton of things. This is from Charlottesville, VA, just like ECW was.   Rey Mysterio faced the Edgeheads in a handicap match...   - Rey's new entrance setup rocks it. This is one of those "I tag you" handicap matches, which I really don't care for.   - Curt Hawkins comes in at 6:13 and hits Rey with a chair, giving Rey the win via DQ. Rey dropkicks the chair into his face, and forces the heels to scatter. *3/4. Not half bad.   Some dude named Jesse is talking about how some dude named Festus is being fixed. Needless to say, I've never seen those two in my life. ___________________   Next up is a match between Jimmy Wang Yang w/Shannon Moore vs. Domino w/Deuce and Cherry.   - Yang's gimmick is really starting to wear on me. I hate his stupid music, and I hate his stupid dance.   - Yang pins Domino with a moonsault block at 5:24. I don't really like the way he does the move, either. *1/4.   Backstage, Jamie Noble and Chuck Palumbo argue for a bit, until Michelle McCool comes into the picture. Then they stop, because they're in a match...NEXT. ___________________   So yeah, Chuck Palumbo, Jamie Noble, and Michelle McCool are facing John Morrison, the Miz, and Layla.   - We'll talk about the angle at the end of the match. At around 1:40, Palumbo and Noble argued with each other, and Palumbo pushed Noble into McCool, who was on the ring apron. Then Palumbo assaulted Noble, and pushed McCool onto the ground when she tried to stop him. Hey, Palumbo got booed, so it worked. ___________________   MVP comes to the ring, because he has something to share with us. That something is a bunch of photoshopped pictures, mostly making fun of Flair. I thought the shuffleboard one was funny, as was the one where Flair was wearing the Jack Nicklaus Golden Bear hat. So, Ric Flair comes out, and says he'll beat MVP at the Rumble (which he did). ___________________   Our next match is a Belfast Brawl, obviously Finlay w/Hornswoggle facing the Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh. The rules were never explained.   - Khali tried to put Hornswoggle through the annonce table, so Finlay grabs the shillelagh and beats Khali to a bloody pulp. The match just stops at 4:50. Lame. *. Khali's been booked to look super weak lately. ___________________   Vince McMahon is with Finlay, but he only wants to talk to his son.   Batista comes to the ring, and talks. He's putting everyone on notice for the Rumble.   Backstage, Noble encountered Michelle McCool as she was being stretchered out of the building, and he tells her that he'll get Palumbo. Ok. ___________________   Now we have our semi-main event, featuring the Undertaker, who's taking on Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker.   - This is going to be bad, if their matches in the past are any indication. By that, I'm talking nearly 10 years ago. It's actually scary how small V makes Taker look.   - Taker slaps on a gogoplata at 6:12, causing V to tap out. The finish looked so contrived, you just have to see it. Plus, V bit the blood capsule. 3/4*. Mark Henry comes to the ring, screaming at Taker that he "went too far." The fuck is that supposed to mean? ___________________   The last match is CM Punk vs. Edge w/the Edgeheads in a non-title bout.   - Rey Mysterio is on commentary. Why they're doing this now, I have no idea. But I'm not booking this show. That said, Punk losing now is better than him challenging and losing later.   - Punk botched his springboard clothesline pretty bad. Up to that point, the match was going really well. Punk avoids an Edge charge to the corner, but Edge comes right back out with the SPEAR to finish at 7:50 (shown). **. Rey runs in to be by Punk's side after the match, and that's the show. ___________________   Looking back, given the MSG crowd on Sunday, Rey should never have been in the title match. That's hindsight, for ya. Show was poor, best segment was Palumbo beating down Noble, and the worst was Finlay/Khali. I enjoyed that one the least. Smackdown is easily the most boring of the three shows, IMO. That's not to say it's the worst, because it isn't. ___________________   The MSG show was good, but I didn't finish it. I liked Bret Hart's debut more than anything else. ___________________   The typical crowd here in Philly boos John Cena. This, of course, is RAW. Cena talks about his injury, and how life wasn't the same. Well, duh. He wants to face Orton ASAP, meaning tonight. Orton comes out and says no, he'll only fight Cena if people are paying for it. That means they'll have a match at No Way Out. Cena still says that he'll find a way to get Orton tonight. ___________________   Our first match was Ashley and Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall and Beth Phoenix.   - Lillian Garcia messed up Beth's entrance pretty bad. Anyway, Mickie is the only thing good about this match. Of course, Beth pins her with the fisherman buster at 2:52. 3/4*. Ashley just stood on the apron watching, seeing as Hall was way late in coming over to grab her leg. So, it looked really bad. ___________________   Vince McMahon is with William Regal, who has an idea for No Way Out. Vince wants him to share it with the public, after the commercial.   A video after the commercial tells me that the Steve Austin DVD is coming out soon...   And then, Regal comes to the stage, blubbering through his announcement. It's for the Elimination Chamber, where the winner goes on to face the winner of Cena/Orton at WrestleMania. We watch a video of past Elimination Chambers, but none of the footage is from the ECW version. Our participants in this are...UMANGA, HBK, Chris Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy, and Triple Haitch.   Mike Adamle talks about our later matches, which are Snitsky and UMAGA vs. HHH and a partner of his choice, and JBL/Orton vs. Jericho/Jeff Hardy. Much better this time, as opposed to the Rumble when he Regal'd his way through the entire night. ___________________   The second match on the night is Cody Rhodes w/Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito w/Santino Marella and Maria.   - At the Rumble, Carlito spit on Rhodes' face. So, we have this.   - Cody's punches look really stiff. That said, he punches away a bit too often, so when Santino distracts him, it's easy for Carlito to give him the BACKSTABBER, for the pinfall at 3:05. *. ___________________   HHH is with Shawn Michaels in the lockerroom, and we know that at No Way Out, both guys will need to do what it takes to get that title shot. But right now, HHH needs a partner for his match. So...Shawn accepts, then jumps out of the picture, and comes back in with new, DX merchandise on. I like this whole thing with Shawn and his merchandise.   UFC promo for Mir vs. Lesnar. Really looking forward to watching Brock eat fists there.   Last in this run of segments, is some filming for Candice Michelle's Godaddy.com Super Bowl commercial. ___________________   Like, I said, it's a DX night, as they'll face UMAGA and Snitsky.   - I think I'm one of the few smarks that get enjoyment out of the DX thing. I love nostalgia. HHH talks about Buffer's gimmick infringement at the Rumble. I let out a small laugh for that.   - And with their whole entrance thing, I almost forgot there's a match. HHH grabs a mic and asks if anyone has a toothbrush. You know, cause Snitsky's in the ring. The "BRUSH YOUR TEETH" chant gets going, and I laugh. Every arena should chant that during Snitsky's matches. I think it's funny how I said last week that these were the only two guys left to squash that white kid on ECW, and now they're tagging up with each other.   - HBK is your face in peril, but thankfully, there's a commercial. Snitsky's shitty bearhug generally ruins matches, and this is no exception. HHH tags in, Umaga receives SWEET CHIN MUSIC from Shawn, and HHH gives Snitsky the PEDIGREE for the pinfall, at 12:13. Who knows why the match was of that length, *3/4. ___________________   Randy Orton's in the back with JBL, and Orton wants to know that JBL will have his back if Cena shows up. JBL says, sure.   Todd Grisham's with Jeff Hardy, who says nothing of note.   And Vince is with Hornswoggle now. Vince is disappointed, damnit. Get the hell out of this room right now. ___________________   The next match is Mr. Kennedy vs. Brian Kendrick. Hey, at least we're getting a bunch of matches tonight.   - Kendrick ran right into the ring and slapped Kennedy. That was funny. Unfortunately, he gets squashed and finished off with the MIC CHECK, for 3 at 1:59. Now, the mike comes down. Kennedy didn't want in the Elimination Chamber, he wanted to retire Ric Flair. I like this idea. He's not going to be the guy to retire Flair, but he's well perceived enough by the fans so that Flair can go over him and continue to get stronger, prior to his retirement. Flair comes out, and has two things to say.   First, good luck.   Second, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So, they'll have a match at No Way Out. ___________________   We go right into another match, this being Melina vs. Maria w/Santino Marella.   - Santino dissin' Melina on the way to the ring is hilarious. That said, he wouldn't be nearly as funny (or not funny at all) if he didn't have the accent.   - This match was horrid. Melina went to roll-up Maria, but pulled her pants down, revealing Maria's underwear. So, Maria got the pin at 2:something. I lost the time. Santino runs into the ring and covers Maria up, and says, "damn you Japanese for your high definition technology." Then he says that JR had erected a monument in his trousers. But a small monument, see. Funny stuff. DUD.   Todd Grisham is with Y2J in the back, and what happened at the Rumble (he hung JBL) is the new him...and he likes that.   Mike Adamle then previews No Way Out, prior to... ___________________   Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho vs. JBL and Randy Orton.   - Looking like this match could be long. And good.   - Jeff Hardy gave Orton a SWANTON really early, but JBL prevented that from being the end of the match. We go to the break, and come back, as Orton doesn't have Hardy in a chinlock. Thankfully. JBL and Jericho's brawling sequences are rough. They stiff the hell out of each other. Hardy crashes and burns outside, and Y2J has JBL trapped in the WALLS OF JERICHO. Orton comes in and gives Jericho an RKO, which gets his team the 3 count at 10:58. **1/2, good TV stuff. John Cena comes out, presumably to have a go at Orton. JBL ducks out under the bottom rope, and we're one-on-one. Cena kicks Orton's ass, and finishes that off with the F-U. Not a single RAW this year has left Orton in a favorable position at the end of the show. That's really weird booking. ___________________   The show was, uh, good. Barely good. The best segment was the tag match at the end between JBL/Orton and Hardy/Jericho, and the worst was probably the actual Melina/Maria match. I don't know what'll be on my next column, other than ECW from today. I might even review Clash I before I put that up, I don't know. No promises.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-23-08, featuring RAW and ECW.

This is just a RAW and ECW column. So, you've been warned. RAW is from Hampton, VA. ___________________   The new video wall is Fantastic. I purposefully capitalized that.   And our first match is Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy.   - Kennedy hasn't been doing his entrance with the microphone recently. I wonder why? I watched the whole show much later than when it occured, so times are going to be there, and sometimes not there.   - When Kennedy couldn't bridge out of the pinning move into a backslide, I thought that was great, as was HBK's somersault pescado. I loved the finish, which constituted HBK going for that reverse figure-four, and getting kicked off. Then HBK kipped up, and hit Kennedy with SWEET CHIN MUSIC at 11:57 (shown) for the victory. ***. This was probably as good as a match between these two could get.   Randy Orton's with Vince McMahon, who's giving him reasons to shake hands with Jeff Hardy tonight, cause they're supposed to shake hands and all. ___________________   The next match was Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix for the Women's Title.   - Beth finishes with a fisherman's buster at 3:42. I didn't really care, *1/2. ___________________   Todd Grisham is with HHH, who talks about Vince in HD. Mostly about how old he's gonna look, and then, he talks about the Rumble.   After, Brian Kendrick is with Cody Rhodes. Kendrick has to qualify for the Rumble tonight, and Hardcore Holly comes bustin' in, talking about how he'll get rid of anyone, including Rhodes, to win the Royal Rumble. ___________________   So, the next match is the Highlanders vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle.   - What are the Highlanders, super jobbers? Anyway, Hornswoggle gets the pin after a frog splash. *.   And now Chris Jericho comes out, with great pyro, to talk about JBL. He says he'll fight him, to little fanfare. His return has been a disaster.   Vince is now with Jeff Hardy, telling him to never risk someone's life like he did last week. ___________________   Brian Kendrick's Royal Rumble Qualifying Match is against.....UMAGA. Harharhar.   - Yes, I really laughed when I heard William Regal announce that Kendrick was facing UMAGA. This was a super squash, ending with the SAMOAN SPIKE at 2:20. **. ___________________   Mickie James is backstage with Maria, and sad that she can't beat Phoenix. She leaves, and Ashley comes into the picture, talking about a party at the Playboy Mansion. And then, Santino Marella came in and said something so funny that I didn't even write it down.   And why is Big Pussy on Celebrity Apprentice? ___________________   Hardcore Holly w/Cody Rhodes is facing Carlito w/Maria and Santino in a singles match, now.   - Why did Carlito stick around, again? He's been buried so far down on the card that he'll be a Heat regular by WrestleMania. I don't have HD, but even I can see how old Holly's looking. Santino distracts Holly during an Alabama Slam attempt, so Carlito gives him a BACKSTABBER for the win at 3:11. That's one of my favorite finishing moves, but the match was a mess. 1/2*. ___________________   Now, we have HHH's match vs. a mystery opponent. His new entrance setup is the best of all of them. No time, given that I'm watching this via...nefarious means. It's a over-the-top gauntlet match, and his first opponent is Snitsky. Once this was announced as a gauntlet, I knew he'd be in it. What a terrible payoff to a terrible angle. Why'd I expect more? Moving on, HHH throws Snitsky out. And HHH's second opponent is Mark Henry. Uh, brand extension? Henry charges at HHH after a while, but HHH pulls down the top rope, eliminating him. Last is...an IRATE William Regal, who gets destroyed by HHH and tossed out. I guess this whole angle was just for the sole purpose of HHH putting himself over three guys. 1/2*. ___________________   The last segment on this show was the scheduled handshake between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. Orton says that he respects Hardy, but Hardy says the exact opposite. He says that there's a lot of people whose hands he'll shake before Orton's. First, Jim Ross, second, Jerry Lawler, and third, Lillian Garcia. Then Hardy goes into the crowd, and shakes a bunch of people's hands. When Hardy gets back in the ring, he gives Orton a TWIST OF FATE. Well, Orton's definitely going over, because Hardy's had the better of him the last two weeks. If Hardy won, Orton would look awful. ___________________   Show was...decent, the best segment was HBK/Kennedy, and the worst was that HHH gauntlet trash. ___________________   Last night, I watched ECW, from, well, 1/21/08. This show took place at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. I like that all the shows use the same set, it makes things look, uh, more important.   The first contest was an Over the Top Rope Challenge, between Kane, The Miz, John Morrison, Tommy Dreamer, and Shelton Benjamin.   - Well, I know who's winning this. Dreamer's looking fat, which bothers me. I don't like seeing guys I grew up watching age.   Order of Elimination: Dreamer by Kane at 1:00, Miz and Morrison by Kane and Shelton at 2:58, and Kane by Shelton at 3:01. Shelton skinned the cat and headscissored Kane out, to win. Cool. I was wrong. And THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NUUUHHH. Kinda hard to rate that, but I'll go a bit less than **, with a *3/4. ___________________   We get that Best Body Contest I was awaiting so much...at least they did it when I had to use the restroom. I missed most of it, but I saw Coach dancing to the music as I went out. And Kelly Kelly won. Wow. There are nowhere near as many kids in the crowd this week, it feels like RAW. ___________________   Next was Kofi Kingston's debut, against a jobber named David Owen. Kofi's tracksuit is cool.   - That jobber did everything in his power to make Kingston look like shit. He succeeded. Kofi hits him with a really bad looking kick (because his opponent was standing so close to him) at 3:15 for the pinfall. DUD. That was not good.   Edge is with Chavo Guerrero in the back, because Chavo gets his title shot tonight. Soon Vickie Guerrero comes into the picture, cause it's Chavo's night. After, we get a GREAT Royal Rumble video, with facts and figures about the match. That may have been the best part of the show, thus far. ___________________   The white kid is with Tazz again. He's facing the GREAT KHALI this week. About time. Khali gives him the HEAD CRUSH, for the win at 0:37. It's not getting so old, I suppose, but there aren't many other guys to feed him to. Umaga and Snitsky...that's about it, I think. *. ___________________   And now, we have Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk in a...NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH for the ECW Championship. Well, that stipulation was a surprise, but not really.   - Edge is on commentary. I know where this is going. And I don't like it at all. Punk tries to get rough first, by pulling the turnbuckle pad off, although nothing comes of it...yet.   - The crowd is a little mild, but this time, Chavo gets heat. Punk drops Chavo on the exposed turnbuckle, and gives Chavo the GTS. Edge runs into the ring (fuck, not this shit) and gives Punk a SPEAR, which after a LONG period of Chavo lying around, gets Chavo the 3 count and ECW Title at 7:05. Oh, fuck that. *1/2. Well, there's no reason to watch this show anymore, but I will anyway. The Edgeheads bring Vickie down, and they all celebrate. Could they have made Chavo look worse? I'm glad Chavo got a push, but this is more like a bump. He hasn't done anything noteable at all. Awful. Awful. Awful. This match was MUCH worse than their others, as well, *1/2. Hopefully they bump this show up to being taped before Smackdown, because I can't see the people staying in the building to watch Chavo freakin' Guerrero. Just my .02. Nothing good can come of this for Punk, because he's not going to be put over Edge in the LEAST. ___________________   Show was BAD, best segment was...Shelton winning the Over the Top Rope Challenge, and the worst was obviously that AWFUL title change. Horrid booking.   I'll have a CYBER SUNDAY review up on Friday. Or not until Saturday or Sunday. Haven't made up my mind.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-21-08, featuring, well, just Smackdown.

First, we have Smackdown. It's from Birmingham, Alabama. I forgot that I don't write about Prime Time or NWA, so this is going to be short. I liked when Heenan gave the camera the finger while naming off the people who won't manage Bam Bam. The rest wasn't so great. ___________________   We flashback to the Rumble last year, where the Undertaker won. Thus, the Undertaker comes down to the ring. He's issuing a warning to the rest of the Rumble participants, that they'll REST IN PEACE. So, here comes Big Daddy V and Matt Striker. Striker talks, so Big Daddy comes to the ring, to fight the Undertaker. V gets beat up, so that's that. ___________________   Tonight, we'll have CM Punk and Rey Mysterio vs. Edge and Chavo Guerrero. But right now, we have Finlay w/Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh.   - Khali always makes me laugh. That good, or bad? Anyway, Hornwoggle hits Singh, so Singh chases Hornswoggle until Finlay gets in the way. I fuckin' hate how WWE goes to commercial at the beginning of a match, now.   - It's too easy for kids to like Finlay, just because of Hornswoggle. Unfortunately, that takes a lot of the edge out of his character. At the end of the match, Hornswoggle interfered so that Finlay could lowblow Khali. Then they beat up Singh, who took Finlay's shillelagh and threw it down the aisle. Khali then holds onto Hornswoggle until Finlay comes close, and applies the HEAD CRUSH on Finlay, getting the submission at 11:03. This was far better than I expected, *3/4.   After the match, Edge and Vickie Guerrero are in the back. She calls Edge a good father figure, as Teddy Long stands there, like an invalid. Why the hell does he just stand there all the time? Chavo comes in, and says he's sorry for calling Edge and Vickie embarassments. He thinks Edge is a good guy. ___________________   Our next match is a tag team contest, it's Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore vs. Deuce and Domino w/Cherry.   - Deuce and Domino had me tuning out during the match, given how generic their offense is. The match finished with a Yang moonsault block, getting the win at 6:38. *1/4.   Finlay and Vince McMahon are in the back, where Finlay apologizes for what he said to Vince on RAW. After, Vince says that Finlay will face Khali next week in a Belfast Brawl. Cole no-sells that, and talks about Batista facing Mark Henry. ___________________   And Batista vs. Mark Henry is on, right now.   - We see footage from Rumble '05, which Batista won. That's all I've ever seen of that show. Cole continually talks about WWE in HD, which I don't care about. At all. Henry and Batista be brawlin', until Batista wins with a spinebuster at 5:00. *, but harmless all the same. ___________________   Next up is MVP's VIP Lounge, an interview segment. His guest is Ric Flair. Flair says that MVP reminds him of himself, but MVP says he's better than that. So Flair chops him, knocking down some of the furniture as a result of MVP falling backwards. That's the segment, which I found entertaining. The interaction between the two was good. ___________________   Michelle McCool faces Layla next. Isn't the women's title on RAW? I know it is, so why is this happening?   - Cole needs to shut up about WWEHD. I'm going to turn this off soon, cause I don't wanna hear it.   - McCool gives Layla an Angel's Wings (Christopher Daniels finishing move), getting the victory at 3:52. 1/2*. I like that move, and so did the crowd.   We get a video for whatever new Diva is soon to debut, and after, Jamie Noble is with McCool backstage. Someone, that being Chuck Palumbo, ordered her roses. Noble says, "are you kidding me!" Chuck argues with him for a bit, and they then agree to get along with each other, as those are McCool's wishes. Don't care. ___________________   Before the match, Vickie wishes Rey luck. So yeah, it's Rey Mysterio and CM Punk vs. Edge and Chavo Guerrero.   - The ECW Title Match between Chavo and Punk is next week. See, I thought so. Punk and Rey do stereo suicide dives onto their opponents, as we go to a commercial.   - Edge/Punk will be great when it happens. That said, the best portions of this match are between Rey and Edge. I like how Punk's shoulder injury played into the match. To explain, he didn't start selling it until it was worked on, so the crowd didn't catch onto an angle occuring later in the night. And then on ECW, it was rammed into the ringpost, so the viewers at home could understand why it was hurt. Good booking. Rey 619's Chavo, so Edge hits Rey in the knee with a chair. **3/4. Punk tries to save Rey, but the Edgeheads come down and beat on he and Rey, to end the show. Edge has got the better of Rey the last two weeks, so Rey should get something over Edge to head into the Royal Rumble. ___________________   Show was decent. Best segment was Edge/Chavo vs. Rey/Punk, and the worst was that stuff with McCool, Noble and Palumbo. This was an entirely FORGETTABLE show. At least Cole stopped talking about WWEHD.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-18-08, featuring the MNW from 5/19/97, the first Monday Nitro, and the shorties section.

At first I was going to watch the first Nitro, but instead, I watched the MNW program. And first up is Nitro, from Asheville, North Carolina. ___________________   Last night was Slamboree. Don't forget that.   Gene Okerlund's in the aisle, as Ric Flair's coming out for an interview. MEANNNNNN Gene. It's the usual, until Syxx joins us. He knows he can take Flair, and he wants to do it tonight. Flair accepts, and Syxx pretty much slaps him. So, Flair chases Syxx, until Syxx runs to the back. Flair/Syxx sounds good, but so does every other main event featuring an NWO guy. And they all end the same, too. ___________________   So, our first match is Prince Iaukea vs. Steven Regal for the TV Title. Regal won this title at Slamboree, from the Ultimo Dragon.   - It's not Lord Steven Regal anymore, it's simply, Steven Regal. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know yet) this show is only one hour long. Iaukea's offense consists of roll-ups which only get a 2 count. Regal's really stiff throughout, which is nice.   - Regal gives Iaukea a REVERSE SUPLEX, and then, Iaukea submits to the REGAL STRETCH at 2:26. *1/2. Iaukea is shit, so his matches need to stay short. ___________________   At Slamboree, Glacier was beaten up by Wrath and Mortis, until Ernest Miller ran in and saved him. HAHAHA. That's just great.   The next match has absolutely nothing to do with what they showed prior to this, given that Masa Chono is facing David Taylor.   - Mike Tenay's on commentary for this contest, and he says that there's going to be the debut of a huge star in Vegas. He got that one right. He also says that NWO t-shirts are huge in Japan. I have no idea as to whether or not that's true.   - Chono doesn't sell, you know. He wins with the STF at 2:58. 3/4*, Taylor got absolutely NOTHING. ___________________   Mean Gene's with Sonny Onoo, who says that Chono has a debt to pay next week. He says that Chono's worst nightmare will be there. Does that mean....THE GREAT MUTA? Ok, I'll spoil it.     JJ Dillon then says that Nick Patrick is reinstated. Ok, that's fine with me. ___________________   Speaking of Nick Patrick, he's officiating this match between Michael Wallstreet and AMERICAN MALE, Scotty Riggs.   - Wallstreet's wearing a shirt with an emblem picturing the letters, WCW, inside of a red circle, with a slash through it. Like, you know, a no-smoking sign. Anyhow, he's wearing it because he's not allowed to be in the NWO as per the terms of his contract, and he hates WCW.   - Patrick continually argues with Wallstreet. Continually. Wallstreet takes a foreign object out of his pants and tries to hit Riggs with it, but Patrick takes the object away. Riggs comes off the top rope with a sunset flip, but Wallstreet holds onto the top rope, trying to steal the victory. Patrick kicks Wallstreet's hand off the rope, and Riggs gets the 3 count at 2:49. That was so convoluted and ridiculous that I have to DUD it. ___________________   Gene's talking to Mark Martin for some dumb reason, probably because Valvoline was one of their sponsors. Yeah, I'm sure that's why. He likes WCW and all, and Valvoline is giving away one of his racecars. Ok, then. Ric Flair was with him, and he talked a little bit of trash about Syxx.   Next we go On the Road with Lee Marshall to Nashville. FF.   Last night at Slamboree, DDP tried to attack Randy Savage with a crutch. Savage ran away, so that his buddies in the New World Order would be able to help him out. Well, he ran in and got clobbered by Page. Buff Bagwell and Vincent tried to give Savage support, but they were beaten on as well. Scott Norton though, he stopped the whole thing. The NWO beat DDP up for a bit, until THE GIANT made the save for Page. ___________________   We have our token tag team match, as Mongo and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra are going to face the Steiner Brothers.   - Mongo's briefcase is all dented up. Can't he afford a new one?   - This is the last time I'll talk about Scott Steiner being roided up, but he reminds me of one of those pump up toys where you pump the toy and its muscles just get bigger and bigger.   - Scott gives Jarrett this insane samoan drop from up top. It looked so much better than Mortis' version. The crowd starts chanting "Reggie, Reggie." No, no. A t-bone suplex by Rick Steiner causes Mongo's foot to hit the camera at ringside.   - Debra gets on the ring apron to distract the official, but Mongo gets knocked down while holding the BRIEFCASE. Jarrett picks it up and thinks about hitting Mongo with it because of what happened at Slamboree. If you don't know, I'll tell you. Jarrett was facing Dean Malenko for the US Title, and Debra was at ringside with him. At the end of the match Jarrett was on the floor, and for some reason, Mongo threw him into the ring, and took Debra backstage with him. I think that's it, I haven't watched Slamboree '97 in a long time, and I have no desire to do it again. Anyhow, Kevin Greene runs down the aisle, takes the briefcase from Jarrett and hits Mongo with it, giving Rick Steiner the pinfall over Mongo at 3:35. *. After the bout, Mongo runs to the back, and has a pull-apart brawl with Greene. This happened during the commercial break, but we saw it when they came back.   Next week's show is two hours. Yay! ___________________   Our main event is up next, and just as was said by our announce team of Tony, Brain and Larry, it's Syxx (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. Ric Flair in an obvious non-title affair.   - Syxx's gear says "thug" on the front of it. That made me laugh for some reason. Flair beats on Syxx for about 40 seconds of the :58 this match lasts, until Scott Hall and Kevin Nash make their first appearance on the night. They fucked Flair up, yo. Nash grabs a mic, and Piper better be strapped, cause they're comin' for him next. Wolfpac is 4 LIFE and NWO is 2 SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET. Obviously this is not rateable, and I'm not rating anymore of the 1 or 2 minute long matches prior to an NWO run-in. And boy, there are going to be a lot of them. ___________________   Here comes an NWO member...oh, it's just Eric Bischoff. Of course, he has a microphone. He talks a bunch of trash about Sting, and says that Sting needs to give up his chase of Hollywood. He says he'd slap Sting if Sting was in this ring. So, naturally...   IT'S STING   Yeah, he comes out through the ring, meaning from under, busting a hole in the ring, and gives Bisch a SCORPION DEATHDROP. End show. ___________________   This wasn't so hot. Rating is poor, the best segment was at the beginning when Syxx slapped Flair, and the worst was that Nick Patrick crap. I hated it, but the crowd loved it. ___________________   It's MONDAY NIGHT RAW, from Mobile, Alabama. Wait a minute, wasn't RAW from Mobile this Monday? Talk about a coincidence. ___________________   To open the show, we have exclusive footage of what happened once the show went off the air last week. Yeah, it was Bret Hart running Shawn Michaels into the ground, verbally speaking. Anyway, Shawn gave Bret SWEET CHIN MUSIC at the end of all that. The rest of the Hart Foundation chases Shawn to the stage, where they beat him up. Bulldog picks up Shawn to press slam him off the stage, but STONE COLD makes the save. He hits Bulldog in the back with a crutch, and both he and Michaels hold off the Harts.   Now, for the real beginning of the show. Austin gets a gigantic pop, this being the South, and all. Huge change from previous weeks, where he wasn't getting anything in the Midwest. He's going to talk to JR, I suppose. He doesn't care about Shawn, he just wanted to get at the Hart Foundation. Well, Shawn comes down to the ring, and says that he wanted to do the same. They share a common bond, you see. Austin wants Shawn to take his ass backstage. And now, they brawl. It was nice to see a good opening to the show, and not mindless blabbering. Officials pull them apart, and then, Owen Hart begins to say something on the TitanTron. He challenges both Shawn and Austin to a match next week, for Bulldog and Owen's tag titles. Hell yeah, son. Shawn wants to do so, but not with Austin. And Austin doesn't want Shawn as his partner, so they fight again. ___________________   JR and King are on commentary again, which is good. No Vader vs. Crush tonight, because Vader's unable to compete, as a result of having his nose busted up by Ken Shamrock. Instead, our King of the Ring First Round match will be between Crush w/the Nation and Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/Chyna.   - As far as why HHH is allowed back in, it's because he wasn't briefed properly by the official last week, as Gerald Brisco says. HHH is back in because the WWF doesn't want him to take legal action. Well played.   - Heel vs. heel is never good. This is not an exception. HHH sends Chyna in the ring with the referee distracted, but the referee catches onto the charade. So now he's distracted by Chyna, and Savio Vega jumps on the apron. He tries to kick HHH, but kicks Crush on accident, giving HHH the pinfall at 3:56. *1/4. Savio and Crush push each other, so Faarooq comes to the ring to break that up. TEASING DISSENSION. ___________________   Our next match is Bob Holly vs. Owen Hart (WWF Intercontinental Champion) w/Jim Neidhart and the British Bulldog, in a non-title match.   - Holly's from Alabama, so he's a little over, for once. Seeing as this is a non-title match, something's up. Something always has to be up. King interviewed two hicks earlier in the day, in a clip that was shown before the match...really wasn't that funny. Owen's friends left ringside, instead, they're standing at the stage.   - I liked this one very much, unfortunately, it was short. Owen went for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Holly grabbed him by the hair and cradled him, for the 3 count at 3:38. **, like I said, something was up. Anyhow, Owen's buddies try to attack Holly, but he runs away. This is how all 4 minute matches should be, all out. ___________________   We flashback to that Paul Bearer stuff last week, in which he said he'd reveal a secret if Taker didn't came back under his wing. After, HBK's with Ken Shamrock. See, that's who he wants to be his partner. Ha.   Mankind has the first part of his interviews with Jim Ross. I can't quite do it justice, so watch it. I'd link to them on youtube, but they're not there. Only one is, I think, and that's not good enough. This one mostly talks about pain and being picked on. ___________________   So, to follow that, we get this great match between Leif Cassidy and Scott Taylor.   - King talks about RVD before the match, seeing as he was on Raw last week. He puts down ECW a bunch, and the match begins with a Snow pescado.   - Taylor nearly botches a springboard crossbody to the outside, and later, Cassidy gives Taylor a really hard spinebuster. Anyhow, Taylor cradles Cassidy on a front suplex reversal, giving him the pinfall. I didn't time it, because I was surprised at the quick start of the match. 3/4*, nearly botched spots in a match that short are a no-no. After the match, Cassidy jumps up in JR's face and starts screaming at him, like a maniac. I like this angle. He did this last week when losing, too. ___________________   Sable's in the back, and hey, Austin walked in on her while she was changing. See, Austin wants her to be his tag team partner. Obviously, she won't do it. On that note, we go to   THE WARZONE   So, the Hart Foundation come to the ring, as Vince McMahon joins us for commentary during Hour 2. Boo. Bret starts talking, and the first thing I noticed is that he's getting better at this. Good thing. His surprise is that he'll be back at King of the Ring, and he wants to challenge Shawn Michaels to a match. We know why this didn't happen, but we'll go through it anyway. He says, if he can't beat Shawn in 10 minutes, he'll never wrestle in the US again. Shawn appears on the TitanTron, and tears into Bret. First he says that each of Bret's stablemates have to be handcuffed to the ringposts in order to get him to take the match. Now it gets good. We get the Sunny Days comment from Shawn, after Shawn claims Bret couldn't last 10 minutes in any situation. Day-um. Bret doesn't really say anything to counter that, ending the segment. He got owned, but that said, it's always better to take the high road. ___________________   Our next match is Goldust vs. Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man.   - Before the bout, Goldust asks who would like to see Marlena. The people say yeah, and he says, he can do better. He'll bring out two Marlena's, his wife, and his daughter. It was funny to see his daughter run around the ring, and this was done, obviously, because of those interviews he's had in weeks previous talking about himself. Whoever (probably Russo) decided to have in-depth, multi part interviews with the wrestlers did a really, really smart thing. It helped character development immensely. If in fact that was Russo's idea, I'll have to give him his due, for that, anyway.   - At the end of the bout, Honky tries to hit Goldust with his guitar. Goldust takes it away, and breaks it over Honky's head, at 4:05. Why the time, you say? Because some genius decided that hitting a wrestler's manager is worth a disqualification. Minor nitpick, *1/4. ___________________   Ahmed Johnson is in the back, he thinks Faarooq was right last week when he was talking about the lack of a black WWF Champion. He's no racist, though, and he says he'll be the first black WWF Champion, not Faarooq.   Stone Cold is with Harvey Wippleman, and he wants Harvey to be his tag partner. The Brooklyn Brawler comes into the picture, wanting to be Austin's partner. Austin kicks his ass, and says that Harvey has no choice. He'll be Austin's partner. ___________________   Rocky Maivia faces Faarooq next, and Faarooq is accompanied by the Nation.   - PG-13 are gone. See ya. They didn't come out with the Nation tonight. Faarooq wants Rocky to join the Nation. Rocky tells him to shove it.   - These short matches are going to become increasingly more frequent, from what I remember. The DOMINATOR finished the bout at 2:49. *. No attack on Rocky, as the Nation just leaves.   We go to the back, as there's commotion. Well, the Harts are beating on Bob Holly. That's why you must job, son.   Following that, THE UNDERTAKER comes to the ring for an interview with Vince. He says that playing the race card was a bad decision for Faarooq. He also says he's neither black or white, but the REAPER OF WAYWARD SOULS. Man, I was HOWLIN' at that. Paul Bearer appears on the TitanTron, and wants to let the secret out. Taker says he needs more time to think about his proposition, that being that Bearer wants to manage Taker again. Taker has SEVEN days. ___________________   Our main event is Jim Neidhart vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin w/a crutch.   - The Harts come down to ringside early, and Pillman goes on guest commentary. He says that paybacks are a bitch, meaning for Austin. Austin attacks Pillman on the outside, and when Pillman gets up, he runs in and hits Austin with a crutch, at 1:50. No rating. Shawn comes to the ring with a chair, and cleans house. Safe, unprotected chair shots. He didn't go to town like most would. JR grabs a microphone, and tells both Austin and HBK that Gorilla Monsoon has stated that they MUST team up against Owen and Bulldog next week. You know how I said I write full match reviews for stuff of importance? This is definitely of fuckin' importance. And to end the show, Austin and HBK fight. ___________________   Good way to end a poor in-ring show. The show still gets a rating of good, with the best segment being Shawn's burial of Bret, and the worst being uh, HHH's reentry into the King of the Ring. This is a historic show for so many reasons. I think we all know about Shawn and Bret fighting after that Sunny Days comment, so yeah. I don't really need to go into detail, do I? RAW wins this week, because, well, their show was longer. ___________________   Now, the first Nitro, from the Mall of American in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm not giving anything the full review here, cause this column is running long as it is. Secondly, nothing's that important except for Flair/Sting, and there are far better matches between them. While I started watching WCW around this time, I've never watched this show. I have, however, seen Fall Brawl 1995. But I was 7 and that was a long time ago. ___________________   A few words from Eric Bischoff (now, actually, when this channel first started running the MNW) open the show. Enjoy. He, Mongo and Bobby Heenan are on commentary.   The first match on the show, as we all know, is Jushin Lyger vs. Flyin' Brian. At least I think everyone knows that.   - Sounds good to me. Pillman botches a hurricanrana, bad enough that it gets a small mention. "He barely even got him with that one!" Mongo sucks on commentary. Boy, he sucks.   - Pillman didn't really carry his share of the load in the match. I'm just being honest. Anyway, Lyger picks him up for a german suplex, and Pillman frontflips forward, grabbing Lyger's legs victory roll style, picking up the win at 6:52. **1/4. Sorta disappointing. ___________________   After the bout, Sting cuts a promo on Ric Flair. After, Bobby Heenan talks about the Monday Night War. Obviously, this was added in, and didn't occur back then.   Bischoff is with Hulk Hogan brother, Pastamania at the Mall of America's runnin' wild, brother, what's Bubba Rogers gonna do, brother, Pastamaniacs brother gonna run wild on Bubba, brother. ___________________   And here we go, it's Ric Flair vs. Sting for the US Title.   - And while it's not as good as some of their other matches, boy, it's a fun one. Sting's wearing BRIGHT pink, and hey, WHO THE HELL IS THAT? It's LEX LUGER, GET HIM THE HELL OUT OF HERE. Bischoff nearly ruined that segment with his "shock and awe." He just sounded so...fake. Flair and Sting stopped to stare, as this happened prior to their match.   - Sting knocks Flair around, until Flair crossbodies Sting, which sends both out of the ring. That was pretty funny. During the "commercial break," Arn Anderson talked about WCW. Of course this was inserted in.   - Sting's done four gorilla press slams thus far. FOUR! Arn came down to ringside, at about 5:35. Sting does a superplex later, and Bischoff overreacts, similar to how Michael Cole does. You know, "he tossed him out of the ring, that's a THIRTY FOOT fall, Tazz." Like that. Flair slaps on the FIGURE-FOUR, and Sting makes it to the ropes. HOWEVER, Flair doesn't release the hold, and gets disqualified at 8:42 (shown). Arn comes into the ring, and both he and Flair fight to the back. They had a match signed for Fall Brawl, remember? A very fun *** match.   After the Flair/Arn fight, Scott Norton comes to ringside. He argues with Mongo, until Randy Savage comes out. He wants to fight Norton right now, but later, we find out that this match will occur next week. ___________________   Back from the break, we have a Sabu video onscreen. Good one. Mean Gene says that some guy won a Harley Davidson. Ok. And on WCW Saturday Night, Johnny B. Badd will be facing Dick Slater, and the Blue Bloods will face Sting and Randy Savage. Sounds good to me.   Last of all that, we get a Mr. Wallstreet promo. YES! He didn't want any part of the New Generation, so he's in WCW, where the big boys play. ___________________   The main event on this show is Big Bubba Rogers vs. Hulk Hogan w/Jimmy Hart for the WCW Heavyweight Title.   - Heenan mentions that Rogers was a prison guard. Good thing he didn't take the conversation further than that, cause I thought WCW wasn't allowed to mention him being the Big Bossman, or anything resembling it. Heenan also tells us of his conversation with Kevin Sullivan, where Sullivan says that Hogan will never understand what's going to happen to him. I'll see where this is headed at the end of the match.   - A guy in the front row has a Hogan Sucks sign, but this cop comes over, and he quits raising it up for the whole world to see. Rogers takes Jimmy Hart's jacket away, so Hogan begins to choke Rogers with it. I've gotta mention, the crowd is, um, not with Hogan's whole act here. To describe their reaction as mild is probably an overstatement. After the Bossman Slam, Hogan goes into the routine, to little reaction. Hulk-up, 1, 2, BIG BOOT, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG for 3 at 7:08. *1/4, at least it was short and inoffensive.   After the match, here comes the DUNGEON. Oh my God. Honestly, my first reaction when seeing Leslie dressed as the Zodiac was, "what the FUCK." Kamala, Sullivan, the ZODIAC, Meng and the Shark were the ones I noticed. I think that was all of them. Anyhow, LEX LUGER came to the ring and saved Hogan. They nearly fight, so Sting and Savage run in to pull them away from each other. Then there's a "commercial," where Gene Okerlund talks about the MNW. He runs down for the interview on Nitro, and Hogan says, Luger doesn't have to prove anything to him, so he'll face him next week on Nitro. And that's the end of the show. ___________________   Good debut show. That's my rating. The best segment was Sting/Flair with the Arn/Flair brawl, and the worst was that Dungeon of Doom shit. Man, that was terrible. The Zodiac walked down the aisle so damn funny. Well, watching this, I can see why they competed with the WWF. Their offering was better than what the WWF was doing at the time on Raw. There isn't much of a contest, unfortunately, they couldn't keep doing this. It wasn't possible to give away matches like this for free, I mean, Luger vs. Hogan in their first meeting, on Nitro? Looking back, it's not the best move for business, even if extremely enjoyable. ___________________   Lastly, we have the Shorties Section, featuring 7 great debuts. I watched them in chronological order, and the first one was...Justin Hawk Bradshaw w/Dutch Mantel Uncle Zebakiah vs. Hakushi from 3/4/96. Note, all of the debutees(?) are listed first.   - In regards to these shorties, my thoughts aren't necessarily on the match. It's basically a reflective thing.   - I noticed people were complaining about JBL's flab a few weeks ago. When he was younger, there was more. Much more. Roddy Piper's on the phone, he's mainly talking about Goldust and the Ultimate Warrior. My, how things have changed.   - This match was basically a squash, and the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL finishes the match at 4:11. Well, while some things change, others stay the same. He then hogties Hakushi, and Uncle Zeb brands him with a branding iron. *1/2. ___________________   Our next one is Stone Cold Steve Austin's debut, against Savio Vega from 3/11/96. Ted DiBiase is Austin's manager.   - I guess Austin's time as the Ringmaster doesn't count. Austin's wearing white boots from his time as part of the Hollywood Blondes, in case you've watched this and didn't notice. They're laced differently, but me, I notice stuff like that. There's a black star on them, so, I figured it out. Also, Mark Henry's at ringside.   - Austin's style is far different than that which most people remember. Far more wrestling than brawling, here. This match ends with a double countout at 6:10 (shown). **...both men brawl after, which sets up their match at WrestleMania XII. Vega gets the best of the post-match scuffle. ___________________   Third up, is FAAROOQ ASAD w/Sunny vs. Skip from 8/12/96.   - Faarooq's outfit....goodness. I've heard a lot about it, but my mind blocked out what it actually looked like. The helmet?   - It's pretty funny to see Sunny cheering on Faarooq while he kicks her boyfriend's ass. Jake Roberts is facing Jerry Lawler at SummerSlam 1996, remember. The DOMINATOR finishes at 4:31. There was an audible "ooh" from the crowd when Faarooq did that. I thought Faarooq would have the Hercules face theme. Guess not. *3/4, just a squash, but awfully entertaining. ___________________   Chris Jericho's debut was on RAW, when he interrupted the Rock. Because the MNW will eventually roll around to this point, I'm not going to cover it. I found it funny that he "came to save the WWF," and he re-debuted a few months ago claiming the exact same thing. Am I the only one who noticed that? So, after this great debut...why exactly did he start wrestling in the midcard against guys like Road Dogg, Ken Shamrock and X-Pac? Cause he didn't work WWE style? ___________________   Eric Bischoff's debut is up now. Well, it was pretty much the most surprising thing I've ever seen happen in Vince's promotion. They didn't add Booker's reaction to this, which means I don't really wanna watch it. I did, though, and it's boring, outside of the original shock factor. Don't rewatch this. When it happened it was the craziest shit ever. Oh yeah, I didn't even say what happened. Bischoff became RAW GM. Hopefully you knew that. ___________________   Dave Batista faced Justin Credible on 11/4/02.   - Credible's look is real funny. Also, Batista looks to be far more mobile in this clip. He destroys Credible, and finishes with the sitout powerbomb at 1:25. *. This was fine. ___________________   Remember how Goldberg debuted on Rock Appreciation Night?   - Well, I do. Rock's talking about retirement, which brings me to another topic. Why do all these idiots act like the Rock owes WWE and the fans something? Sure, I'd like for him to come back for a night, but he doesn't owe us shit. I hate reading people's comments about how ungrateful he is. Grow up. Whew, now I feel better.   - Rock said he's beaten everyone, so Goldberg comes out. You wanna know who's next, well, YOU'RE NEXT. Spear, and that's that. WWE fucked Goldberg's run up so bad, but in truth, I don't think it would've been a success anyway. He was 4 years removed from his peak, and once you go away, it's hard to regain the fan support you had before. It's not like he stayed active on television like Austin and Hogan do. Sure, they fucked Goldberg up, but you have to enter the new fan into the equation. You can't push people solely on old success in different promotions, because there are going to be people out there who don't care about that, and don't want to care about that. They're worried about right now. The roster (as a result of the brand extension) was too thin to have him squashing people all the time, so, we got what we got. ___________________   The last debut, was Mickie James' debut. She teamed up with Ashley and Trish to take on Torrie Wilson, Victoria, and Candice Michelle. This is from 10/17/05.   - This should be short. What's up with Victoria being dressed like white trash? Anyhow, she cradles Mickie at 1:47 for the win. *. Mickie does Trish's finisher to Victoria in an attempt to impress Trish, and that's it. I think we know where this goes, to the lesbian thing. ___________________   Wow, that was a long column. Anyway, that's it. Next, I'll review Royal Rumble '88, and after, I'll review Smackdown, PTW and the NWA weekly offering. The Lakers play on Monday, so I'm going to watch the 10:00 hour of RAW first, and then the 9:00 hour second, when I find RAW on dailymotion or something. So basically, in reverse. It's the only way.
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Review: Random Thoughts from 1-13-08.

Starting things off, was ECW from 1/8/07. Seeing as I took good notes, this'll be an exact copy of them. ___________________   The first match on this show was a 15 Minutes of Fame match for the WWE Tag Team Titles, between the team of Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore and the team of John Morrison and the Miz. The 15 Minutes of Fame thing is basically an ironman rules match. Simple, right?   - I already said how gay I thought Morrison's entrance is, so this'll be the last mention forever. Get rid of the slowmotion stuff, for fuck's sake.   - Yang collides with Miz on the ring apron, and Morrison rolls Yang up while holding his tights for the first fall, with 11:14 remaining. These times are not exact, because it's hard to write and take the exact time of the fall from the timer on the screen at a precise moment. Well, for me, anyway.   - Yang gives the Miz a moonsault press, which gets his team a fall at 6:08. So, it's 1-1.   - The Miz has very little in-ring presence. Not only that, but he doesn't do anything of note. He just punches and kicks, with a resthold or two in-between.   - Ok, now the ending. Moore nearly fucks up multiple aerial attacks, in the leadup to what's obviously going to be a draw. Yang gives someone (unimportant) a moonsault press, which nearly misses...and that gets a 2 count, as the time expires. Didn't care for it at all, as it was clear from the 2nd fall that this was going to be a draw. **. ___________________   I guess Chavo Guerrero gets a 2nd Chance at CM Punk tonight. Uh, why?   The white kid from last week is there again. He gets squashed by Mark Henry, in a bout that ends with the World's Strongest Slam at 1:07. Who cares. *, for the bit of laughter I had when Henry gave him a flapjack. ___________________   A Kofi Kingston vignette followed this, where Kingston knocked out some white guy on the beaches of Jamaica. I didn't laugh, I just thought it was weird. Who knows where this is going.   The Royal Rumble promo this year is great. Thought that should be mentioned too. ___________________   The Diva Danceoff is next, between Kelly Kelly and Layla. Layla is much better looking than Kelly Kelly, which is saying a lot, because I generally like blondes far more than other women. Anyhow, they both do a few shitty dances, and the MC, some girl named Lena (no, not Leena, in case you get confused) decides to enter herself. So she does, and proclaims herself as the winner. This was a waste of time. Who writes this shit? ___________________   Before the main event, Shelton Benjamin cut a pretty good promo. There ain't no stoppin' him now. I hope he puts it together this time and doesn't fuck up what looks to be a pretty good upcoming push. ___________________   And now, the main event is Chavo's 2nd Chance, featuring, well, Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk (ECW Champion). If Chavo wins, he gets a title shot.   - Why should Chavo get another chance? Not only that, but it's kinda weird to see Chavo getting a "top level" push after all this time. I say top level, because nothing on ECW is a main event program. Not to take away from anyone, it just isn't. I can see why the crowd doesn't buy it, after watching the guy get jobbed out during his entire run in the company. I wouldn't either.   - Anyway, we're back from the commercial break, as Chavo has Punk locked in an abdominal stretch. Speaking of breaks, it's hard to rate a match that has a commercial break right in the middle of it. The crowd has emptied out, as you'd figure, and what's left of them are shitting on this match. I think it's ok...   - Punk's offense is good, but the crowd kills it. I had something else written down, but I won't say it, as I already said it over here...INSERT LINK   - Ending time. Chavo takes the turnbuckle pad off, and as the referee's putting it back on (what jackass would put the pad back on in such an important match.. Oh, now I'm using my brain again, something I shouldn't be doing right now. Brain off.), Chavo grabs the ECW Championship belt, and goes to hit Punk with it. The referee spots him, and takes the belt away from Chavo, after which, he disqualifies Chavo at 14:41. So, Chavo doesn't get a title shot. **1/2, based on the premise of the match, finish, and lack of heat. Otherwise I'd have no problem giving ***, which is basically my barometer for saying a +9 minute match was really good. The crowd doesn't care about Chavo, which kills any potential good match against Punk (or any World Title holder) dead. And if they do this match again at MSG during the Royal Rumble card, the crowd is going to shit all over it, even worse.   - After the match, Punk gives Chavo a GO 2 SLEEP. And that's the end of the show. ___________________   I watched both parts of the Ladder Match DVD that are up on 24/7, and there's a few things I want to say about them.   - I've seen the first ladder match with Big Daddy Ritter (JYD) and Jake Roberts before, and didn't care for it. Mainly because I don't like the idea of the ringcrew holding the ladder up for guys to climb.   - I'm only going to review the RAW and Smackdown matches on here, when they get posted on the service. I'm not reviewing the Bret/Shawn Ladder Match because I think it justifies a full review, something which I'm loathe to try on a singular match. Since I have it on tape, I'll review that match, and that one only, when my hand is better. It was hurting yesterday, so I didn't even take notes.   - The Razor/HBK Ladder Match from Summerslam '95 is not nearly as good as the one from WM X.   - TLC I is the best one, not 2, 3, 4 or whatever.   - The WCW Ladder Match from Starrcade 2000 had the most predictable ending imaginable...not only that, but the commentary was as shitty as I remembered it being. Which is to say that it's even worse than the current TNA commentary team. ___________________   I didn't watch Friday Night Smackdown at all, because I was so interested in the Laker game. Seeing as the Lakers don't play during Smackdown for about a month, this won't happen for a while. ___________________   I watched the Territories Roundtable, but didn't take notes. I only have a few things to say.   - Tazz is of little use to this particular roundtable. He doesn't say a whole lot, mainly because he wasn't around in the days of the territories. But there's so much said by the other guys that it really doesn't matter.   - Pat Patterson's stories about San Francisco were great. Just talking about how he was able to be home every night, and all that.   - They talked about the Montreal Screwjob, and how that was common in the days of the territories. Through that conversation, Michael Hayes told a story about Tommy Rich beating Harley Race for the NWA Title. Supposedly that was a double-cross.   - JR's insight about the promoters getting together and talking about killing Vince McMahon after Black Saturday was something I most certainly believe...it doesn't surprise me in the least.   I enjoyed the roundtable, as it was better than the last. ___________________   Ok, I didn't watch the MSG show yet, because I'm sick. I'll watch it tomorrow. So, that, RAW, ECW and probably one more thing will be on the next random thoughts piece, but I might review the PYBO next all by its lonesome, as it features that HHH/Shawn match from December '03 that I love. Basically, we'll see.
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Review: NWA Wrestle War 1990, from Greensboro, North Carolina; 2/25/1990.

What's up with the whole "Wild Thing" title they're using for this show? I don't follow. ___________________   To start the show off, Teddy Long's with Gordon Solie. You see, the Skyscrapers have got this Chicago Street Fight later...but Dan Spivey is "injured." Emphasis on the quotes, but really, he left the company. So, we're going to see a mystery partner for Mean Mark. ___________________   Kevin Sullivan and Buzz Sawyer vs. The Dynamic Dudes is our opener.   Blow-by-Blow: To start, Sawyer and Johnny Ace lock-up...and we get a clean break. Sawyer gives Ace a shoulderblock, but Ace comes back with a monkey flip and a dropkick to knock Sawyer out of the ring. Ace gives Sawyer a pescado, to speed things up a bit. Back in, with Sullivan and Douglas having tagged in. Shane gives Sullivan an armdrag, and he rams him into the buckle, before a little mat wrestling sequence. Ace and Sawyer come in, and the heels slap each other for some reason I forgot. Anyway, Shane gives Sullivan an armdrag after both teams swap again, but Sullivan tosses Douglas to the outside. Sawyer gives Douglas a suplex on the outside, and then a belly-to-belly suplex on the INSIDE for a 2 count. Sawyer gives him a gutwrench suplex, and that also gets 2. Sawyer bites Douglas, and gives him a bearhug, before tagging in Sullivan, who punches Douglas a few times. Sawyer comes back in, and gives Douglas a bearhug. When the referee gets distracted, Sullivan tosses Douglas over the top. You know, seeing as it's illegal, it's kind of a death move. Sullivan goes back to the bearhug before tagging in Sawyer, who chops Douglas. Douglas avoids Sawyer's attacks and makes it to Ace, who tags in and goes crazy. He botches a flying headscissor, making me laugh, hard. Anyway, Sawyer gives Ace a suplex, and finishes him with a big splash off the top, at 10:16.   Match Analysis: I like Sawyer. I hate the Dudes. The match wasn't very good, but acceptable for an opener. It could've been far worse. *3/4. ___________________   Missy Hyatt is interviewing Norman the Lunatic...honestly, what the fuck is this?   Of course, Norman has a match. He's facing CACTUS JACK MANSON.   Blow-by-Blow: Sorry for the caps, but it's Cactus and I couldn't resist. Cactus gives Norman a back elbow for a 2 count, but Norman responds with a clothesline, stopping Cactus' momentum. Norman gives Cactus a headbutt and back elbow, before going to a bearhug. Norman rams Cactus into the buckle, and when he whips Cactus into the buckle, Cactus flips over them and out to the floor. Norman backdrops Cactus over the guardrail on a Cactus charge, but Cactus rams him into the ringpost. Cactus dropkicks him from the apron, and rams him into the canvas, which gets a 2 count on the inside. Cactus' headbutts do nothing, but a big boot does, and gets a 2 count. To the chinlock we go, and after a bit, Norman picks Cactus up on his shoulders, and drops him to the canvas, breaking the hold. He misses a splash though, so Cactus places him on the second rops and jumps onto him. On the second attempt at a jump, Cactus misses, and flies out of the ring. Cactus tries a piledriver, but Norman backdrops Cactus, and sits on him, getting the three count at 9:33.   Match Analysis: Funny little finish. Anyway, Norman/Bastion Booger sucks. Could've been worse, though, and Cactus put on a great show. *. ___________________ Jim Cornette is with Gordon Solie, hyping up this match between...The Midnight Express and the Rock 'n' Roll Express.   Blow-by-Blow: There's a sign in the crowd that says, "We have Herd enough." I lol'd. Stan Lane and Robert Gibson start, and Gibson gives Lane an armdrag. Lane responds with a hiptoss, but Gibson comes right back with two shoulderblocks and a fistdrop. Whoa, this is funny. Cornette wants to fight the referee, and guess what...the ref wants to fight him! The referee gets all ready to go, but Cornette runs out of the ring. Good stuff. Ricky Morton tags in and atomic drops Lane into Bobby Eaton, so the Midnights go to the outside so they can regroup. Lane slams Morton and Eaton tags in, but Gibson gives Eaton a flying chop off the top before he can do anything. Still, Morton's the legal man, and Cornette trips him. The RnR's backdrop Eaton, and clothesline him over the top, for a good ovation. They then give Lane a double back elbow, but Lane tosses Morton to the outside afterward. Morton responds by ramming Lane into the ringpost, then he brings Lane back inside. Lane tags Eaton, who subsequently cross-bodies Eaton over the top and to the floor. Lane slams Morton on the floor, and Eaton gives him a backbreaker, back inside the ring. Cornette hits Morton with his tennis racket, and after a Lane drop-toe hold, Eaton gives Morton an elbowdrop for 2. A suplex from Eaton gets 2, so he tags in Lane, who powerslams Morton, only getting a 1 count. Morton gives Lane a sunset flip, but the referee is distracted by Cornette, so no count. Eaton makes the blind tag when Lane gets taken into the ropes, and gives Morton a DDT for good measure. Eaton gives Morton a single-arm DDT, and goes to a hammerlock, before tagging Lane back in for a second. After that second, Eaton comes back in, and slams Morton, before going up top. He comes off the top with a flying elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Cornette hits Morton with the tennis racket again, and Lane applies the armbar. Morton armdrags Lane, but Eaton comes in and gives Morton another single-arm DDT. Lane gives Morton a side slam, then Eaton comes in, so the Midnights can go for the ROCKET LAUNCHER. Eaton eats Morton's knees, which FINALLY allows Morton to make the hot tag to Gibson. Gibson's a house of fire, but Cornette hits Gibson with the tennis racket. Eaton covers him, but it only gets a 2 count. The Midnights try a double flapjack, but Morton takes out Eaton, and Gibson cradles Lane for the three count at 23:21. Yeesh. Match Analysis: Very long match, very good match. No complaints. ***3/4. I loved when Cornette tried to fight the referee, that was just classic NWA type booking. ___________________   Gordon Solie is with the Road Warriors...seeing as they're going to leave the NWA soon, I wonder how this match is going to go. Like I said, I don't read the results of these shows before watching them. ___________________ The Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering are taking on The Skyscrapers w/Teddy Long in a CHICAGO STREET FIGHT...   Blow-by-Blow: The Skyscrapers in this case are Mean Mark Callous and the Masked Skyscraper. I'll fill you in on who the masked one is...it's Anyway, Ellering knocks Long out of the ring, and that starts the Donnybrook. Unlike in the WWF, a Chicago Street Fight just means that they brawl, and there's no weapon use. Anyhow, the Road Warriors clothesline both Skyscrapers, and generally kick their ass for the duration of the bout. Animal gives Callous an inverted atomic drop, and Hawk gives the Masked Skyscraper a fistdrop. DOOM makes their way down to ringside, presumably to watch out for the Skyscrapers. I don't really know why they're here. Hawk gives Callous a neckbreaker, and a clothesline, as Animal slams (we'll call him) Masked. Hawk tosses Callous out, and clotheslines him from the ring apron...then follows that up with a dropkick, on the floor. Animal clotheslines both Skyscrapers back in the ring, as we move to the finish. Hawk backdrops Callous over the top, DOOMSDAY DEVICE on Masked, and that gets the three count at 5:06. Doom gets ever closer to the ring after the match...and after the Road Warriors toss Teddy Long onto them, well, they get in the ring. They act like they're going to leave, but...they turn around, and get their asses kicked. That was pretty dumb.   Match Analysis: Lame squash. Could've done without it, but hey, I got a kick out of Doom making their way to the ring. *1/2. The Road Warriors vs. Doom would've been a great feud. Well, they feuded, but there was never a PPV match or blowoff. I suppose that's what I meant. ___________________ All the rest of the matches are title matches. Speaking of title matches, the first one of those is the Fabulous Freebirds vs. Flyin' Brian and the Z-MAN for the United States Tag Team Titles.   Blow-by-Blow: The champions attack the challengers, and backdrop them to start the match off. Michael Hayes and Brian Pillman are in the ring, and Pillman chops away at Hayes, before clotheslining him. Jimmy Garvin and Tom Zenk come in, and Zenk gives Garvin a shoulderblock, hiptoss and dropkick. A second dropkick misses though, and Pillman tags in. He gives Garvin a crucifix for 2, then Hayes tags in, and gets clocked. Hayes knocks Pillman onto the apron, but Pillman quickly gives Hayes a springboard crossbody for 2. Pillman armdrags Hayes and tags in Zenk, who gets clotheslines. Pillman tags in as Garvin misses a charge to the corner, and he gives Garvin a hiptoss. Pillman takes Garvin down with a headlock, but Hayes tags in and applies a sleeper on Pillman. Hayes goes up top(?) and gives Pillman a crossbody, but Pillman reverses it and gets a 2 count. The Freebirds give him a double back elbow, which Garvin follows up with a kneelift. Garvin gives Pillman a shoulderblock, but Pillman avoids Garvin and makes the tag to Zenk. Zenk goes crazy on the Birds, but Garvin goes up top and ends it with a double axhandle. Hayes covers Zenk, but it only gets 2, so he rams Zenk into the ringpost. Garvin goes to the chinlock...unfortunately. Anyway, Zenk makes his way out and gives Garvin a powerslam, before cradling him for 2. Garvin comes back with a big boot and scoop slam, then a kneedrop, for 2. Hayes goes back to the chinlock, but he doesn't hold it for long, deciding to give Zenk an elbowdrop instead, getting 2. Words don't describe how boring and long this match is. Just wait until you see the time. Hayes gives Zenk a bulldog for 2, before going back to the chinlock. Zenk powers up and gives Hayes a DDT, then he FINALLY makes the tag to Pillman. Pillman's a house of fire, one that shoulderblocks both Freebirds. Hayes comes in with one of the tag belts, but the referee takes it way, as Garvin rams Pillman into a cameraman, sorta. Pillman comes off the top with a crossbody, and that gets the three count on Garvin at 24:35. After the bout, the Freebirds beat them up a bit, then leave. Match Analysis: Good Lord, this was way too long. Unbearably so. Honestly, I never want to see this again. It wasn't bad wrestling or anything, but it was way too bland for the time allotted. *1/4. ___________________   Missy Hyatt is with the Steiner Brothers...oddly enough, Rick is acting like a retard or something. I don't know what's up with that. ___________________   Anyway, Ole and Arn Anderson are facing The Steiner Brothers for the NWA World Tag Team Titles.   Blow-by-Blow: Scott and Arn start the match off, and it's goin' good, at least until Arn ducks out of the ring and Rick hits him. Scott gives Arn a choketoss, and a 10 punch. Scott then gives Arn an atomic drop and a scoop slam, causing Arn to tag Ole. Scott tags Rick, and the Steiners clear the ring, to a big ovation. Arn comes in, and Rick gives him a headlock, before a powerslam which gets 2. Arn goes to the top, but he thinks better of it after a minute. Forgot why. Anyway, Scott comes in and gives him an inverted atomic drop, and applies a figure-four leglock. Scott then gives Arn a t-bone suplex after a rope break, and follows that up with a kneedrop for 2. Rick and Arn tag in, so Rick gives Arn a suplex. Ole rams Rick into the buckle, but it doesn't do a thing. BUT, Arn hitting Rick's arm sure does, so Ole slams Rick and gives him an elbowdrop for 2. Scott takes Ole down with a headlock, but on the outside, he accidentally clotheslines the post, allowing Ole to ram him into the guardrail. Ole tosses Scott back in and tags Arn, who gives Scott a hammerlock slam. Arn then applies an armbar, but he misses a pump splash from the top. That was weird, coming from him. Scott gives Arn a FRANKENSTEINER, which allows him to tag in his brother, Rick. Rick gives Ole a STEINERLINE, then Arn is given a STEINERLINE, and Rick cradles Ole for the win at 16:03, meaning that the Steiners keep their titles. After the match, Ole knees Scott in the back, and the Andersons do their best to mess up Scott's arm, in typical Horseman fashion. Match Analysis: Average match, but still fun because it's the Steiner Brothers. Weird, at least for me, to see Ole wrestling at this point in time. He didn't do much, but still, weird. **1/2. ___________________   Gordon Solie is with Lex Luger...who's gonna get Ric Flair.   Then he's with Ric Flair and Woman...and Flair's gonna get Luger. Well I'll be. ___________________ Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair w/Woman is clearly the main event and NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match.   Blow-by-Blow: Sting came to the ring on crutches for a bit...and then left. Poor guy, walked all that way on crutches for a pop and had to walk all the way back. Shame on you, WCW. Flair's wearing pink...uh, that's funny. Anyway, Flair gives Luger a hammerlock, but Luger reverses and pushes Flair to the canvas. Flair applies a wristlock on Luger, but Luger shrugs Flair off all the same, and gives Flair a knucklelock. Luger then gives Flair a shoulderblock, causing Flair to bail out of the ring. Back in, and Flair whips Luger to the buckle, but Luger comes right back out with a clothesline. Flair bails out, but Luger brings him right back in and gives him a gorilla press slam. Flair responds with a shoulderblock, but he's given another gorilla press, then ANOTHER, after some Luger posing. Luger gives Flair a bearhug, but Flair breaks it, only to be given a 10 punch in the corner. Luger then gives Flair a hiptoss, but he misses a charge at Flair and flies out of the ring. Flair chops away, then rams Luger into the guardrail, twice. Flair brings him in, and gives Luger two kneedrops, which get a 2 count. Luger misses a charge, so Flair hammerlocks him with his feet on the ropes. More chopping ensues, and then Flair wrenches Luger's arm in the ropes. Luger gives Flair a clothesline, but Flair pokes him in the eye, and gives him another kneedrop. In response, Luger sends Flair to the buckle, and gives him a sleeper. Flair back suplexes out of it, then he tries a suplex, but Luger blocks it and gives him one of his own. Luger rams Flair's leg into the ringpost, and tries to apply a figure-four, but he kinda fucked it up. Anyway, Flair breaks the hold, and a shoulderblock of his knocks both of them down. Luger gives Flair a powerslam for 2, then a backslide, which also gets 2. Luger gives Flair a 10 punch at the corner, but Flair gives him an inverted atomic drop, and two flying chops from the top rope. Flair gives Luger a double-underhook suplex, which gets 2. A Flair roll-up also gets 2, and so does a Luger clothesline. Luger misses an elbowdrop, so Flair gives him two kneebreakers, and goes to the FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK. Of course, Flair cheats, which coincides with Sting's return to the ringside area. Luger makes the ropes, so of course, Sting screams at him, trying to motivate the big lug. I guess it worked, because Luger is a house of fire. Luger gives Flair another gorilla press slam, and after a few punches, Flair goes up top. Of course, Luger slams him down, then he clotheslines Flair twice. A third clothesline sends Flair over the top rope, so to get Flair back in, Luger suplexes him, for 2. Luger gives him a powerslam, but he doesn't make the cover. Flair knocks Luger into the referee, so Luger sends Flair into the buckle, where Flair does his flip over the turnbuckles. After a Luger clothesline, he places Flair up on top, to give him a superplex. Ole and Arn Anderson have made their way to ringside, as Luger has Flair up in the RACK. After a while, Luger sees this problem, as the Andersons are about to clobber Sting with one of Sting's crutches. Luger gets outside of the ring and beats up the Andersons, but the referee is counting away, as Jim Ross is practically going insane about the count. AND...Lex Luger gets counted out, at 38:04. Arn DDT's Luger after the match for good measure, and after the little post-show report...that ends things here. Match Analysis: Wow. What a match. Usually people would say, oh, I didn't know Luger could wrestle that well, but really, I did, so why say it? Of course, Flair can do no wrong either, so this makes for a hell of a matchup. Luger is easily carryable, thankfully. I'll give this one the same rating as Scott Keith did, ****1/2. For me, it passes the litmus test of being as good or better than Flair/Vader from Starrcade '93. Barely, though. ___________________ Rating: Good. Too much crap in between the great matches. I thought about this one for quite a while, and I wound up saying this was just good. Close to great as you can get without being great, though.   Best Segment: Obviously Flair/Luger. MX/RnR's was pretty good too, but not Flair/Luger good.   Worst Segment: Ha, it was the US Tag Title Match. For sheer length, if no other reason. ___________________   I'll try my best to get a RAW and Nitro from 7/7/97 up by Thursday, but no guarantees.  
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Review: NWA Halloween Havoc 1989, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 10/28/89.

I've seen a lot of people bitching about the way this show is edited, and I'd like to say that I find all those people to be complaining about a whole lot of nothing. It's not important. As long as a show has all the matches and all the commentary, I'm fine with it. The rest is unnecessary, as although I'd like to see it, I'll live with it, and like it anyway.   ___________________   Now, for the review.   Jim Ross and Bob Caudle are the hosts from the Civic Center in Philadelphia, and they're pretty good ones too. As there aren't any entrances, the usual prematch part will be left off my review. ___________________   We start things off in the ring with Gary Michael Cappetta, and the first match is The Z Man vs. Captain Mike Rotunda. Rotunda is of course, the future Irwin R. Schyster.   Blow-by-blow: The two men lockup, and Rotunda gets an amateur style takedown of Zenk from behind. Zenk rebounds with a headlock and two shoulderblocks, afterwards, Rotunda bails to the outside. Back in, and Rotunda gets a hipblock. He then misses an elbow drop, and Zenk follows with a dropkick, so Rotunda bails again. Rotunda with a knee and a thumb to the eye, then he tosses Zenk out of the ring. JR says the ladies came up with the Z Man name. O RLY? Zenk comes in with a sunset flip for 2, and grabs onto Rotunda's arm with a hammerlock. The ropes lead to a break of the hold, and Zenk with a headlock takeover next. Rotunda with a headscissor on the mat, and he cheats using the ropes. He gets caught when he tries again, so the hold is broken. Rotunda throws Zenk out under the top rope, and slams Zenk's head into the apron. Rotunda with a kick to the back of the head of Zenk, and a suplex in for a 2 count. Rotunda with an abdominal stretch as he holds the ropes, but the referee catches him, so he goes to a chinlock. Zenk attempts a comeback, but Rotunda finishes that with a good clothesline. Rotunda misses a dropkick and Zenk gets a back elbow, but Rotunda gives him a rake to the eyes in an attempt to slow Zenk down. Rotunda attempts a springboard crossbody block, but The Z Man rolls through it for the pinfall at 13:22.   Match Analysis: It was a solid match, and although I don't believe that the crowd cared for either man, they seemed to be into it. It was missing something though, so my rating is *3/4. It was slow, I didn't mind that. But the finish kinda came out of nowhere. ___________________   Chris Cruise is with our Guest Referee for the main event, Bruno Sammartino. He talks about the Thunderdome match, and how he won't take any crap. The usual. ___________________   The next contest is a 6-Man Tag Team attraction. We have the Samoan Swat Team & The Samoan Savage w/Sir Oliver Humperdink vs. The Midnight Express (Stan Lane and Bobby Eaton version) and "Dr. Death" Steve Williams w/Jim Cornette. Yes, it's weird seeing Cornette in the same corner as Steve Williams. Anyhow...   Blow-by-blow: Lane starts off with a backdrop on the Savage, and then he clotheslines the Savage over the top rope. I'll enlighten the reader of this with some information in case they didn't know, the Samoan Savage is Tama of the Islanders. Moving on from that, the Midnight Express hit one of those fat asses with a double backelbow, and now Samu comes in after a Savage eye gouge. He misses an elbow drop on Eaton, and chops him a few times. Samu then misses an avalanche, and Steve Williams is on his way in. The crowd loves him, too. Williams with right hands and clotheslines for everyone, and all the Samoans bail out. Fatu is the Samoan that decides to get in the ring with Williams and Williams clotheslines him, and football tackles all the Samoans. Bobby Eaton comes in, and applies an armbar on Fatu, then Stan Lane comes in. Fatu with a clothesline on Lane after Lane's failed hiptoss attempt, and Samu comes in with a dropkick. Dr. Death soon follows, and Samu eats a clothesline. Williams with a legdrop, and Eaton comes in with a big flying clothesline. That gets 2. Samu attempts a monkeyflip, but Eaton elbows him. Both Lane and Fatu are tagged in, and Fatu gets a falldown slam. He misses an elbowdrop, though, and Bobby Eaton tags in, along with the Samoan Savage. Eaton gets crotched into the ringpost after an attempt at a bulldog, and then Samu and Fatu crotch him on the guardrail outside. Fatu beels Eaton HARD on the concrete, and after Eaton recovers, he sunset flips the Savage inside for a 2 count. Savage with a chop, and Fatu comes in. The SST's come in and clothesline Eaton, as he's the heat magnet du-jour. A Fatu headbutt gets two, and he goes to the nervehold. Fatu with a clothesline and then Samu comes in with a legdrop and headbutt for 2. Fatu in with a headbutt and the SST's kick Eaton in the nuts with the referee distracted, and then the Savage tags back in. A sideslam gets two, and then the Savage goes up to the top. He misses a pump splash, and the hot tag goes to Steve Williams. And the crowd just LOVES it, as Williams is a HOUSE OF DEATH. That was terrible, sorry. Williams with a double axhandle off the top, a LARIAT, and a press slam. A scoop slam and powerslam get a 2 count, and Lane comes in with a swinging neckbreaker on the Savage, and an enziguri. Cornette hits Humperdink with his tennis racked, but Lane and Cornette collide with each other, and the Samoan Savage gets the pin for his team at 18:16.   Match Analysis: See, at first, I thought this was a **1/2 match. But after thinking about it, it was a little better than that. The crowd heat is a large part of the *** rating. They were wild for Williams, and Eaton's heat sequence was really good. Really, really good. ___________________   Gordon Solie is with Terry Funk and Gary Hart backstage, and Hart says the J-Tex Corporation NEVER quits, and that Flair is going to fry when they get inside the Thunderdome tonight. ___________________   The next contest is "Wildfire" Tommy "4 Days" Rich vs. The Cuban Assassin. Wildfire is a really shitty nickname. FIDEL SIERRA!!!   Blow-by-blow: The Assassin attacks, and throws Rich into the turnbuckle. Rich slams the Assassin twice and the Cuban bails. The crowd just shits all over Rich for the duration of this match, and the match is so bad that I'm having a hard time re-writing everything again. Cuban Assassin gets a springboard crossbody for a 2 count, and Rich follows that with an "ugly as fuck" sunset flip for a 2 count of his own. Yes, the quoted is what I said aloud while watching that move take place. The crowd starts a "BORING" chant, but it doesn't get too loud. I'm thinking please take the match home while watching Rich do nothing but armdrags and punches, but I don't get what I want. Rich backdrops Assassin after the Cuban attempts a piledriver, but Assassin suplexes him. After Rich crotches the Assassin, Rich does an ugly back elbow. The Cuban tries another springboard crossbody, but this time he misses, and Rich does a Lou Thesz Press for the pinfall at 8:25.   Match Analysis: Just fastforward. It's not -*'s because I usually get enjoyment out of negative starred matches. In this case, it was completely unenjoyable. And that's my criteria for a DUD. ___________________   Gordon Solie's with the Fabolous Freebirds, unfortunately they have nothing to say, but lo and behold, they're a part of the next match. See, they're the NWA Tag Team Champions, and they're taking on the Dynamic Dudes, who're managed by Jim Cornette. The Dynamic Dudes are a mullet-clad Shane Douglas and Johnny Ace, and the Freebirds are Michael fuckin' Hayes and Jimmy Garvin, for those that don't know.   Blow-by-blow: Hayes struts at the beginning and the crowd just eats it up. The Philadelphia crowd is in love, LOVE, with The Freebirds. Hayes armdrags Douglas, and then headlocks him. Hayes with a sunset flip that Douglas reverses for a 1 count, and Hayes chops Shane. We soon see how GREEN Douglas is, as he absolutely blows a spot where Hayes comes off the ropes. It was REALLY bad. Douglas headlocks Hayes and gives him a swinging neckbreaker, and then both Garvin and Ace come in. Ace with a dropkick and armdrag, as Douglas comes back in with an armbar. Shane with a backdrop, and Hayes comes in. Shane with a wristlock reversal, and Ace comes off the top rope with an axhandle as he's tagged in. Ace with a powerslam, and the Dudes clear the ring with a double dropkick. The fans just boo the SHIT out of them, and as the Birds get settled down, Douglas reapplies the armbar. Ace with a face smash for a 2 count, and then a headlock on Garvin. Ace with a backdrop and he headscissors Hayes over as he takes Garvin over with a headlock. Ace with a headlock and then a shoulderblock on Garvin, and a roll-up of Garvin gets a 2 count. The Dudes playing to the crowd like babyfaces is beyond annoying. Not a soul is cheering for them, they're being booed. Loudly. Hayes clocks Ace in the head from the apron, and Garvin gives him a back suplex. Garvin kicks Ace in the back, and Hayes comes in with some right hands. Garvin does the same when he comes in, and backdrops Ace. Hayes back in as the crowd chants "DDT, DDT, DDT," although Hayes can't apply it. Douglas comes back in and backdrops the Freebirds, then dropkicks them a whole bunch and rams their heads into one another. A double high-knee follows by the Dudes, but Garvin reverses a double back suplex as he winds up on top for the full 3 count, at 11:27. The Freebirds retain their belts, and Philadelphia rejoices.   Match Analysis: The Freebirds really know how to work the crowd, and the heat on the Dudes was just hilarious. Really funny match, and although I'm probably overrating it, I'll give it **. It's a must-see match, if you're able to. Douglas was green as grass, but Hayes was awesome at actually being able to play to the crowd and get a pop. He didn't have to go for heel heat, and the fans just loved it. Douglas would see better days in Philly. ___________________   Rick and Scott Steiner cut a promo with Chris Cruise, and oh boy, Rick Steiner is fuckin' terrible. That's almost as bad as the Ken Patera promo I heard the other day. I'll link that at the end of this. After that, we obviously have their match. It's the Steiner Brothers vs. Doom w/Woman. Doom is masked, here, and if you don't know any better, you can't tell who's who. But I know better.   Blow-by-blow: A brawl starts things off, and the Steiners give each member of Doom a german suplex to clear the ring. Butch Reed is the skinnier one, Ron Simmons is more compact. That's how I can tell Doom apart. Rick's hair is wild here, it's a good thing he cut it. STEINERLINE's for both members of Doom as they get back in, and they'll regroup again. Ron Simmons and Scott Steiner will start, and a Steinerline gets 2. Rick has Steinerlines for both members of Doom, and he barks. That gimmick was over, even then. Rick and Butch Reed are in now, and a big right hand by Rick gets a 2 count. Butch with an inverted atomic drop and I've gotta say, if you don't already know who these two are, good luck watching. The announcers did nothing to establish them from one another, and neither did the wrestlers. One could have worn different color boots, or something. Simmons in with a headbutt, but Rick reverses his suplex attempt. Scott's in, with a Steinerline off the 2nd rope for two. Scott with an armbar, and Rick comes in with a chinlock, but Simmons counters with an ace crusher variant. A legdrop by Simmons follows, and he tags Butch. A big clothesline by Butch turns Rick inside out, and Reed drops Rick along the top rope for 2. Scott finds his way into the match (no, I don't know how), and gives Reed a front suplex for 2. Simmons is in, and Scott gives him a release german suplex. An elbowdrop by Scott gets 2, and a snapmare and chinlock follows. Doom takes control though, as Reed uses a double axhandle off the 2nd rope in order to do that. Simmons beats up Scott on the outside and slams him twice into the guardrail, and then Butch Reed gives Scott an eye gouge. Clever. A double back elbow by Doom gets two, and they practically choke Scott to death for 2 minutes. As the referee is distracted, Reed throws Scott Steiner over the top rope. The ref was distracted cause that's illegal, see. A Reed swinging neckbreaker gets two, and he follows that with a powerslam. Both members of Doom slam Scott for free, and we have a false hot tag, as Scott tags Rick with the ref distracted again. Does.Not.Count. A spike piledriver by Doom gets 2, and they go to the chinlock. Scott kicks Simmons on the irish whip, though, and Rick FINALLY gets the tag. Rick with a backdrop to Butch, STEINERLINE'S for everyone, and Scott does a FRANKENSTEINER. Rick with a powerslam and belly-to-belly as Woman gets on the apron, and she slips a foreign object into the mask of Butch Reed. Reed headbutts Rick Steiner and DOOM wins the match at 15:24.   Match Analysis: That was a fun power match. Man, Scott could go. Why the fuck did this guy have to ruin his body? The shit he was doing in there was great. ***. Doom is good too. I always thought Butch Reed was an underrated worker, and Simmons pulled his weight in this match. ___________________   Solie's with Lex Luger before his match...the promo is surprisingly good, and HE'S THE CHAMPION OF THE 90'S. LAWL.   Yeah, this match is for the United States Title, and the challenger is Flyin' Brian Pillman. The CHAMPION is The Total Package, Lex Luger. Both guys are disgustingly juiced. I think Pillman looks more gross, honestly.   Blow-by-blow: We go to THE LOCKUP, and Luger with a knee to the body of Pillman. Clubbing right hands follow, as Luger whips Pillman into the buckle. Luger slams Pillman and slaps him across the face, and then tosses Pillman out of the ring. Pillman comes back in really quick though, and football tackles Luger. He then chops Luger, backdrops, dropkicks and baseball slides into Luger. As we are now on the outside, Pillman chops Luger some more. Pillman chases Luger around the ring, but since Luger got in first, he's in control. He pummels Pillman with some right hands, but Pillman gets a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. Pillman goes to the armbar after an armdrag, and Luger whips him into the ropes where Pillman counters a Luger hipblock (impressively so, the counter) and dropkicks Luger. Back to the armdrag, but Luger regains his composure, and shoulderblocks the challenger twice. Pillman with a crucifix after another armdrag, but the crucifix only gets 2. I don't know why Pillman keeps armdragging Luger, but he does it again, and we're done with that for the rest of the match. Luger misses a charge into a corner, and Pillman goes up to the top and misses a splash. Lex follows with a HUGE flapjack, and then he drops Pillman along the top rope. Luger with a clothesline and big boot, and then he clotheslines Pillman twice, with the last one being to the back of the head. A Luger delayed vertical suplex gets two. Two elbowdrops from Luger follow, and Luger dumps Pillman to the outside. Pillman comes back in with a sunset flip for 2, and unfortunately for him, Luger gives him a inverted atomic drop. He sets Pillman up on the top rope, but Pillman pushes him up. Luger tells Pillman to come down and he does, with a sunset flip Yes, obvious spot call...and Pillman gives Luger a nice flying back elbow. He backdrops Luger and slingshots in with a clothesline. I believe the youngin's call that "Air Pillman." Luger's in the ropes though, so no pinfall. Pillman with a neckbreaker and he goes up, but he misses a missile dropkick. Luger HOTSHOTS him along the top rope, and Luger retains his title at 16:48. Yes, there wasn't a TORTURE RACK in this match.   Match Analysis: Well, you learn something new every day. One, Luger can call a match in the ring. Two, that Luger can call a GOOD match in the ring. Three, that Luger can have good matches with guys not named Ric Flair. The match got better as it went, and I've seen another reviewer give this quite a high rating. I can't go that high though, but I'll go close and give it ***3/4.   ___________________   Chris Cruise is with the Road Warriors and Paul Ellering, Hawk made sense for the duration of the interview and didn't talk about breaking limbs, or other such nonsense. Good stuff. ___________________   This contest features The Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering vs. The Skyscrapers, who are accompanied by Teddy Long. Long's carrying a big key, and a skullet of hair. Imagine that. He looks funny. The reason behind the Skyscraper name is obvious. Both Sid and Spivey are huge.   Blow-by-blow: Animal and Danny Spivey start, and Danny lets off a couple left hands. Animal with a clothesline, and Spivey bails. Hawk tags in, gives Spivey a double axhandle off the top rope, and a shoulderblock does nothing. But a flying shoulderblock does, and that forces Sid Vicious to tag in. Sid does what he wants, so after a Hawk clothesline, Sid does, well, nothing. Animal comes in and the Road Warriors deliver a double back elbow, but once Hawk leaves, Animal's shoulderblock to Sid does absolutely nothing. Nothing, I say. Sid misses a clothesline, and Animal's flying shoulderblock puts Sid down. Notice the pattern? Hawk comes in, and we have a TEST OF STRENGTH. Sid wins it, but Hawk monkeyflips him. A clothesline follows as Animal and Spivey comes in, and Animal clotheslines him, and both men tag out again. Hawk and Sid are in. Sid with a headlock takeover and a KIP-UP (!) as he clotheslines Hawk. Sid picks up Hawk in Razor's Edge position, and spins around the ring with him, soon to throw him to the canvas. Whoa. That was an impressive visual. Spivey with a sideslam for 2, and Hawk clotheslines Danny after Spivey misses a clothesline. Spivey baseball slides Hawk out of the ring, and Sid drops him along the guardrail. A Spivey delayed vertcial suplex gets a 2 count, and Sid comes in. Spivey with a clothesline in the corner before he leaves the ring, and Sid follows by choking Hawk. Hawk with a chop in an attempt to fend Sid off, but Sid comes back with a clothesline, ending those hopes. Spivey tags in and tries to suplex Hawk, but Hawk counters the move with a suplex of his own. Sid comes in and applies a front facelock, and Long distracts the referee as we have a false hot tag. Animal must go back to his corner, and Spivey gives Hawk an avalanche in the meanwhile. Hawk finally does what is necessary to get back to Animal, as he clotheslines Spivey, so Animal tags in. Yay! A dropkick by Animal and flying shoulderblock put Spivey down for a while. When Sid comes in, a pier-6 breaks out. Animal with a powerslam, and for some reason, Paul Ellering's on the apron, presumably because the ref isn't counting the fall. Teddy Long hits Ellering with the big key, and tosses the key to Spivey. I'm assuming that the key is supposed to be the key to controlling these two behemoths. But I don't know. Spivey hits both Animal and Hawk with the key, so the Road Warriors win by disqualification at 11:37. Hawk steals the key after a flying clothesline, and hits both Skyscrapers with it.   Match Analysis: There were good reasons to not have this match end cleanly. Therefore, no deduction for it. Also, this is the "good Sid." The one that's not screwing up moves, being generally disagreeable, and the one that's fun to watch. I can watch the Sid from this match all day. It's fun. **1/2. ___________________   Sting, Ole Anderson and Ric Flair are with Chris Cruise, and that means it's time for the main event. They say that under NO circumstances will Ole throw the towel in tonight, and that J-Tex Corporation is done, starting now. ___________________   The MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING is a THUNDERDOME Cage Match, and the participants are...from J-Tex Corporation, The Television Champion, The GREAT MUTA, and TERRY FUNK (the first time I wrote that, I wrote it as Terry Fuck. On accident.). Their "third" is Gary Hart. I'll explain in a bit.   And on the other team, it's STING, and THE NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, THE NATURE BOY, RIC FLAIR. Their "third" is Ole Anderson. For those that aren't accustomed to this, the caps are deliberate, and not intended to be funny in the least. It's a main event of a PPV, it's cap worthy.   The guest referee of this match is none other than BRUNO SAMMARTINO. To win this match, the opponents third must throw in the towel. Simple as that. And the cage is ELECTRIFIED!   Blow-by-blow: The Thunderdome is like a taller Hell in a Cell, but without a full roof. And some genius decided to decorate it with leaves, Tarzan-ish ropes, and vines. Only in that company, I swear. Obviously enough, the leaves catch on fire. Muta puts them out with his mist. Haha. His face is painted red, too. Flair and Funk start, and Terry shoulderblocks Flair. Flair with chops and Funk with a bodyslam afterward. Flair returns the favor with 2 slams of his own, and some chops. I don't understand why you have to tag your partner in, but whatever. Sting comes in and dumps Terry to the floor, and then slams Terry hard into the cage. Flair tags in, and he and his partner Sting deliver a double back elbow into Funk. A kneedrop from Flair follows, and the GREAT MUTA comes in. Flair chops both he and Funk, and Sting comes in with a dropkick. Funk pushes Bruno, and Bruno ignores it for now. Sting attacks Muta, and Sting press slams him too. Sting with a suplex, and Flair comes in. Flair with an inverted atomic drop and a kneedrop, and then he tags in Sting again. Sting dumps Muta and rams him into the cage, but once they're back in the ring, Muta begins to take over. An elbowdrop and legdrop follows, as Muta really knows how to work the crowd. He really does. Flair chokes Muta as Funk is choking Sting, and Funk rams Flair into the cage. Muta suplexes Sting, and we're done with tagging in. Flair with an atomic drop and Sting with a clothesline, as Sting attempts to apply the SCORPION. That's what the Scorpion Deathlock was called then. Muta kicks Sting hard in the back, and then Funk chases Sting around the ring on the outside. This match is a mess, but in a fun way. Muta chokes Flair, and once Funk chases Sting into the ring, Funk is attacked by Flair. Now they climb up the fence for no apparent reason, seemingly because the top of the cage is electrified, but even still, it makes no sense whatsoever. Sting suplexes Muta, and now Muta climbs the cage. He gets shocked (I don't know if it was real or not. I just don't.), and Muta comes down from the cage. While Funk and Flair are up there, Flair swings off a rope that's hanging down from the cage and into Terry Funk. I laughed. He's flying into Funk at a really slow speed. Sting has Muta held up in press slam position, but he just drops him instead of throwing him into the cage. Terry's on the cage and Muta's under the ring, as this match is starting to turn into a giant clusterfuck. Muta comes out from under the ring and rams Flair into the cage, and Terry and Sting climb up the cage. Flair with a back suplex and figure-four, but he releases it. At the same time, Sting grabs onto the rope and "Tarzans" into Funk. I asked my brother what to call that, and he said Tarzan. So I did. Muta kicks Flair in the back of the head, and applies the INVERTED STF. If nothing else, it's a cool visual. Why someone hasn't blatantly ripped this move off, I don't know. As the camera pans over, we notice that Funk tied Sting up. Ole unties Sting while Funk and Muta beat Flair up, and during the process, J-Tex gives him a spike piledriver. Ouch. Now Sting is untied, and he FLIES from the cage onto Funk in the ring with a body press. He jumped halfway across the cage, BAH GAWD. Ross then says that Muta's going to become "fried wonton," as Muta climbs up the cage. LOL. The un-PCness of announcers back then astounds me. Flair with a shinbreaker on Funk, as Muta is at the top of the cage. Flair with a kneedrop to Funk, and Muta decides to come down. Muta with a spinning heel kick on Sting and a backbreaker as he goes up top for his moonsault, but he gets crotched on the top rope. Flair applies the figure-four as Sting repeatedly splashes off the top rope into Funk, and Hart says he ain't throwin in the towel. Muta hits Bruno Sammartino, and Bruno knocks him out. Gary Hart gets on the apron in an attempt to break up the figure-four, and Ole Anderson hits him, so Gary Hart's towel flies onto the shoulder of Bruno. Bruno sees that, and says the match is over. Flair and Sting win the bout at 21:53.   And that's also the end of the show!   Match Analysis: Too weird. The whole cage should have been electrified, not just the top. What sense does it make to climb up there knowing you will get shocked? Aside from that, it's a perfectly fine match. Not great, but passable. **. Don't forget, Muta is still "undefeated" at this point, so they made sure that he wasn't the one to look weak. But Terry sure did. ___________________       I realized that my overall ratings are flawed, so we'll add the "excellent" category. Not that this show is excellent, but I need another category to define how good a show is. There are some really good tag teams on this show. The Skyscrapers, Steiners, Doom, Road Warriors, Samoan Swat Team, The Midnight Express...   Rating: Good. Lots of decently rated matches, and a few good ones in particular. Only one terrible match, and that's good.   Best Match: Lex Luger v. Brian Pillman   Worst Match: Tommy Rich vs. The Cuban Assassin   Loudest Sound (two guys that got the biggest pop/heat): Michael Hayes and Steve Williams   No sound: Tommy Rich and Tom Zenk. ___________________   Badd Blood will be done tomorrow, until then...   OH, I almost forgot. The Ken Patera promo   http://youtube.com/watch?v=hELEcT2aZKU
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Review: NWA Clash of the Champions I, from Greensboro, North Carolina, 3/27/88.

I've always wanted to see this show. So now, I will. I had people over, so I wasn't able to watch this until now. And I didn't watch Smackdown, nor do I have plans to. ___________________   Throughout the show, much like during the first RAW that was on 24/7 a few weeks ago, there are multiple interviews about things pertaining to this show. I'd like it if they did that for all the important shows they post (SNME's, Clash's, PPV's, and other shows with special occurences). Wouldn't it be great if they had people on to talk about WrestleMania IX during intervals throughout the show? I'd love to know what people in the business thought about that pile of shit show. Anyway, Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone are on commentary, with Bob Caudle conducting the interviews. ___________________   Our first match on the night is a Varsity Rules match. So, that gives away what faction one of the participants in this match represents. Anyhow, the rules are, you only need to get a one count, and there are 3 five minute periods, with 30 seconds of rest between each period. Like an amateur wrestling match. The match itself is between Jimmy Garvin w/Precious vs. Mike Rotunda w/Kevin Sullivan, for the TV Title. Rotunda talks about how the match went (now), and here we are...   Blow-by-blow: They lock-up, and break, before Rotunda takes Garvin to the canvas. Rotunda armdrags Garvin, but Garvin quickly returns the favor and gives Rotunda a hiptoss. Garvin slams Rotunda, and applies a wristlock. Rotunda pulls Garvin's hair, which forces Garvin to break the hold, and Rotunda runs away. Rotunda applies a headlock and gets shot into the ropes, where Garvin gives him a back elbow. Garvin applies a front facelock, but Rotunda makes the ropes. After that, Rotunda drops Garvin throat-first on the top rope. Rotunda clotheslines Garvin, and goes for a cover, but can't do it, as the first time period expires.   After the 30 second rest period, Rotunda slams Garvin, and goes up top. Garvin slams him off and backdrops him, so Kevin Sullivan gets on the ring apron. Precious holds onto Sullivan's leg, so Garvin clobbers him with a right to the temple. Unfortunately, he forgot about Rotunda, who rolls him up for the 1 count and the victory at 6:02. After, Garvin gives Rotunda a brainbuster, as Rick Steiner runs in. Precious hits Steiner with a 2x4, and chokes out Sullivan with a hanger. Where the hell did she get that?   Match Analysis: I love the concept. It's great. The match wasn't very long, though, so the rating isn't so hot. Just **. Typical JCP heatfest, not that I'm complaining about that. Good start to the show. ___________________   Bob Caudle is with Dr. Death Steve Williams, who treats us to a turrible promo. Turrible. He wants a shot at Ric Flair.   Jim Ross talks about how good the Fantastics/Midnight Express rivalry was (now), in our segue to... ___________________   The Fantastics vs. The Midnight Express w/Jim Cornette for the US Tag Team Titles. The Fantastics are Robert Fulton and Tommy Rogers, in case you didn't know.   Blow-by-blow: Honestly, they went nuts and brawled for the start of the match. I'm talking, ECW level brawl here. The Fantastics get the best, until Eaton grabs a chair and table, and hits both Fantastics with it. Fulton goes to work on Stan Lane in the corner, but the Express double team Rogers, gaining control. Eaton smashes his face in, and Lane tags in, delivering a savate kick to Rogers. Eaton punches away, and with the referee distracted, Cornette picks up a table and Eaton rams Rogers into it. Lane comes in and gives Rogers a legdrop and elbowdrop. Eaton comes in and powerslams Rogers before going to the top, where he gives Rogers an elbowdrop. Lane comes in and gives Rogers a gutwrench suplex; afterward, he picks Rogers nose for him. The Midnight Express give Rogers a Demolition Decapitation, and Eaton gives him a 10 punch in the corner. Rogers gives Eaton a sunset flip, but the ref is distracted and Lane switches in. Lane dumps Rogers out, and Eaton slams Rogers onto, but not through a table. Eaton BULLDOGS Rogers onto the table, so Fulton needs to come over and help him regroup. Eaton tags in, and gives Rogers a legdrop. Fulton tries to tag in, but the referee never saw it. So, Fulton tosses the official over the top, while Cornette comes into the ring. Cornette waffles Eaton with his tennis racket on accident, and Fulton comes off the top during a ROCKET LAUNCHER, winning the tag titles at 10:15. I saw this coming from a mile away, it's a DUSTY FINISH! Because Fulton put his hands on the referee, see. So, the Midnight Express keep their titles. Cornette goes to work on the Fantastics, and Lane whips Fulton with a belt. Haha.   Match Analysis: This match is overrated. I don't even know where to start. I suppose I'll start with Rogers not being in the match after the original brawl. That's dumb. Dusty Finishes are stupid too. More to mark off. And then the ridiculous overbooking. Do not like. ****, because it was HIGHLY entertaining, and there was really good wrestling. The brawling kept me from being really harsh. I'm probably out on Bledsoe Island with this star rating. ___________________   Caudle talks about the barbed wire match later, and Ken Osmond, who plays a guy on the new Leave it to Beaver (that sure worked out well) shows up, and talks with Jim Cornette about going to Cornette's mama's house.   Afterward, Al Perez and Gary Hart are with Caudle, to talk about wanting to be a part of this setup right here. Perez wants to fight Dusty Rhodes, I suppose.   Last, we get a rundown of the top 10 seeds for Crockett Cup '88. Just search for Crockett Cup '88 if you want a match listing, all I wrote down was that Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson were the #1 seed. ___________________   Dusty talks about the barbed wire match (now), which brings us to...   The Road Warriors and Dusty Rhodes w/Paul Ellering vs. The Powers of Pain and Ivan Koloff w/Paul Jones in a BARBED WIRE MATCH.   Blow-by-blow: The barbed wire doesn't look so rough, but I wouldn't dare say that it looks like it wouldn't hurt. It's impossible to follow the action, because the PoP and Road Warriors wear the exact same stuff. Animal's wearing a helmet to protect his eye, so I can see him. Still, it's a 6 person brawl that's restricted to a tiny ring. Dusty and Koloff bleed, Animal powerslams Warlord, and that's basically it, after the pin at 3:37. The heels got SQUASHED. After the match, the Powers of Pain pull Animal's helmet off and beat on his eye while Koloff whips Hawk with his chain, until Dusty saves them.   Match Analysis: The Dusty booking is in full force on this show. Short, sweet, and to the point. That's how I like Dusty matches. *3/4. It was a mess, but one you can enjoy. ___________________   Nikita's with hair, and oh, Bob Caudle too, where he says that kids shouldn't do drugs. Glasnost and stuff, then he bashes Kevin Sullivan.   Barry Windham talks about the upcoming match (now)...again, I reiterate that there should be interviews and stuff like this on every important thing that WWE puts on their 24/7 channel. ___________________   As I was saying, it's Barry Windham and Lex Luger vs. Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson w/JJ Dillon for the NWA Tag Titles. The Four Horsemen connection is so obvious that I really didn't even need to mention it.   Blow-by-blow: Ross calls the challengers the "twin towers." Hey, those were his words, not mine. Luger and Tully start the match, as Luger pushes Tully down to the canvas. Luger poses, until the champions double up on him. Luger clotheslines both, and powerslams Blanchard. It's time for the TORTURE RACK, but Arn kicks Luger in the knee to stop that. Arn tags in, and goes to work on Luger's knee. Elbows and kneedrops galore, until Tully tags back in. Tully does the same, until Luger makes a comeback. Tully takes him to the canvas and Arn tags in, trying for the figure-four. Can't get it, and in Windham comes. Windham gives Tully a LARIAT, and powerslams him for a 2 count. Windham applies a sleeper, and when Tully tries to reach the ropes, Windham rolls through the ropes and keeps the hold applied, outside of the ring. Arn tries to revive Tully when Windham breaks the hold, so when Tully comes in the ring, he applies a choke. Then Tully goes up top, where Windham slams him to the canvas. Windham applies an abdominal stretch, but Arn tags in. He tags Windham with a left hand, and gives him a DDT for 2. Arn gives Windham a spinebuster for two, but Windham knees him in the nuts. Tully tags in, and elbows Windham in the head for a 2 count. Windham gives Tully a crossbody for 2, and then they collide in the center of the ring. Tully takes Windham down so he can't make the tag, and Windham bridges out of a pin attempt, into a double underhook suplex. Arn tags in and grabs onto Windham's arm, but Windham reverses, although he's still unable to tag Luger. Arn misses a kneedrop, but Tully gets in before the tag, and gives Windham a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX, which gets a 2 count. It's tapered off from its hot start, but it's still a great match. Luger and Arn find their way into the ring, and Luger cleans house. Clotheslines for all, until Tully knees Luger in the back. Luger throws Arn into the buckle, and powerslams him, which ignites another brawl. JJ Dillon comes into the ring with a chair as Tully distracts the ref, but Dillon hits Arn with the chair on accident. Luger pins Arn at 9:33, and we have new tag champions! Their title reign didn't last very long, though.   Match Analysis: I liked it more than the earlier tag match. That's not to say it was a better match. It wasn't. I liked how well these two teams worked the formula, and the crowd as well. ***1/2. I could watch this one a few more times. ___________________   Various people talk about competition with WrestleMania IV on that very same night (now), and somehow, that brings us to....   Sting vs. Ric Flair for the NWA Heavyweight Title. There are three judges for this match, Gary Juster, Sandy Scott, and Ken Osmond. The other two have something to do with the business, I think Juster was on the NWA Board of Directors. Anyhow, JJ Dillon must be locked in a cage for the duration of the bout. There's a 45 minute time limit, too.   Blow-by-blow: You can tell by the crowd reaction that Sting isn't that over. Yet. They lock-up, and both men break to do their little wooos. Flair puts Sting in an armwringer, but Sting reverses it. Sting puts Flair in a headlock, and takes him down to the canvas when Flair reverses it into a wristlock. Flair reaches the ropes, and chops away at Sting, who no-sells the blows. Sting hiptosses Flair, and sends him out of the ring with a dropkick. Flair comes back in, and applies a hammerlock, which gets reversed by Sting. Flair makes it to the ropes, but is given a gorilla press slam by Sting. Sting follows that up with a flying headscissor, and a hiptoss. He takes Flair to the canvas with a headlock that gets 2, and stays with the headlock. For a really long time. Sting's bleeding from one of Flair's chops, as we're still in the headlock after a shoulderblock. The build is far too slow. Flair goes for a 10 punch in the corner, but Sting prevents it and hiptosses him. 10 minutes have passed, and Flair tosses Sting out of the ring after a missed dropkick. Sting comes in really quick, and punches Flair 5 times at the corner, before taking him over with a headlock for 2. Flair makes it to the ropes, and gets gorilla pressed again. Sting applies a bearhug to Flair, which lasts about three minutes. You know, when typing this, my opinion of the match just lessens. It's sounds even more boring. We're 16:00 in, and nothing's really happened. This was where the match got good. Sting misses an elbowdrop, and misses a STINGER SPLASH, too. Flair gives Sting an inverted atomic drop, and tosses Sting out of the ring, where he rams him into the railing that surrounds the ring. Flair brings him in, and rams him into the turnbuckle twice, after chopping him. Flair kneedrops Sting twice, and rakes him on the back. Flair grabs a chair, but instead, he gutshots Sting and sends him back into the guardrail, on the outside. Flair chops away inside the ring, but Sting no-sells it, and knocks Flair over the top rope with a big right hand. Sting misses a charge at Flair, and accidentally clotheslines the ring post. Inside, Sting chokes Flair after reversing a wristlock, and gives Flair another hiptoss. He clotheslines Flair for 2, and when Flair tries to bail out, Sting suplexes him back in from the ring apron. Sting applies the SCORPION DEATHLOCK, but Flair makes the ropes. Sting chokes Flair with his boot, but Flair is able to get up and chop him. Sting no-sells that, so Flair begs. Sting hiptosses Flair AGAIN, but he misses a charge at Flair and flies over the top rope. Sting comes back into the ring, so Flair chokes him. That does absolutely nothing, as Flair knocks Sting away, and goes to the top, hitting a crossbody for 2. Flair gives Sting a kneebreaker, and kicks him right in the leg, before giving him another kneebreaker. Flair gives Sting a back suplex, as 30 minutes have passed. Flair gives Sting the FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK, and grabs the ropes to cheat. A lot. Sting pulls Flair away from the ropes, and reverses the hold, causing Flair to break it. Flair tries to suplex Sting out of the ring, but Sting reverses and suplexes him back in. Sting goes for a splash, but he eats knees. Sting applies an abdominal stretch, but Flair finds a way to get him to break the hold. Flair goes to the top after an elbowdrop, and Sting slams him off the top, for a 2 count. Sting takes Flair over to the ringpost, and slides him into it, nuts first. Sting gives Flair a FIGURE-FOUR, but Flair reaches the ropes. Sting gives Flair ANOTHER hiptoss, and stomps away at Flair's knee. Flair pushes the official, so the official pushes back, knocking Flair down. Sting takes Flair to the buckle, and Flair does his flip over the turnbuckles, falling to the floor afterward. Sting rams Flair into a table, and the guardrail, and the ringpost as well. Sting knocks Flair over the guardrail, and pulls him back over, toward the ring. Flair sunset flips in, but Sting knocks him right in the mouth, and takes him to the corner. 40 minutes have passed. Sting gives Flair a 5 punch at the corner, and Flair tries an inverted atomic drop. He isn't able to, so Sting clotheslines him for 2. Sting misses a STINGER SPLASH, and flies over the top, with 3 minutes remaining. Flair chops Sting, and Sting returns the punishment with a shoulderblock. Flair applies a sleeper, so Sting charges at the turnbuckle and ducks, causing Flair's face to ram right into the turnbuckle. Flair dumps Sting out to rest, but Sting flies back in with a sunset flip attempt. Flair grabs the ropes and gets a 2 count, but when forced to let go of the ropes, Sting brings him over for a 2 count. Two minutes remain. Sting takes Flair to the turnbuckle, where he does the Flair Flip, and Flair comes off the top with a crossbody that gets reversed for a 2 count. Flair chops and kicks, but it does absolutely nothing. 1 minute remains. Sting gives Flair a 5 punch at the corner, and a STINGER SPLASH. Sting applies the SCORPION DEATHLOCK, with 30 seconds remaining. Flair holds on...10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...Flair submits, but the bell has sounded. We go to the judges decision, and...they cannot decide on a winner. We have a DRAW, and Flair remains World Champion. That's the end of the show, too.   Match Analysis: The beginning of the match really was not very good, and neither was Sting's repetitive moveset. He must've hiptossed Flair 8 or 9 times, I didn't even mention all of them, I think. The last 30 minutes of the match were among the best I've ever seen in North American wrestling. I suppose I'll meet somewhere and call it ****1/4, because really, the end always has more importance than the beginning. It's still overrated in regards to what I've heard about it in the past, but this really was the match that established Sting. By the end of the match, those fans were going insane for him. ___________________   Rating: Excellent. If you have any questions about what I said in regards to Sting/Flair, just ask. The entire card was fantastic. I'd be hard pressed to find many other wrestling events that I could sit down and watch at random. Watch it.   Best Segment: Flair/Sting. That said, I loved the NWA Tag Title Match.   Worst Segment: Dr. Death's terrible promo. It was horrendous.   Everyone got great crowd reactions. This show was a perfect example of how you book guys to get over and look strong. Not to say that Dusty Finishes are any good, mind you. ___________________   My next thing will have RAW, a few matches from the Ladder Match DVD (the ones that were on RAW), and WWECW.
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Review: NWA 12/28/85.

This should be good, what with the built-up matches for this show and all.   It's the usual hosts, David and Tony.   Dusty Rhodes says he's getting a haircut soon..OK. ___________________   Sam Houston is up against Tony Zane...and this is a boring squash, that ends with a Houston bulldog at 3:40. All Sam Houston squashes are boring. 1/2*. Zane needs to wear a shirt. ___________________   Tully Blanchard's out to talk about 1986 and the TV Title tournament, and I learn that Harley Race was involved. If there is a tape of this tournament, I must have it.   Jim Cornette follows with a promo about how the Midnight Express are going to beat up the Rock n Roll Express, and he rambles on like only Corny could do. Great promo. ___________________   And guess who, it's the Midnight Express vs. Mark Cooper and Josh Stroud. Bobby Eaton and Stroud start, both ME's stomp on Stroud, and Cooper comes in. Corny runs his mouth through half the match, and it's absolutely hilarious. Stroud comes back in, and gets hipblocked by Eaton, and Dennis Condrey comes in with a scoop slam. An elbow follows, and both Eaton and Cooper come in. Eaton dumps Cooper to the outside, and comes off the top rope to the concrete with an elbow to the head of Cooper. Condrey chokes Cooper, and Eaton slams him on the inside. Eaton then comes off the top rope with a kneedrop, and a Condrey lariat finishes at 3:17. Now kids, this is how you squash. *3/4. ___________________   In the next match, we have one half of the National Tag Team Champions (don't ask), Arn Anderson vs. George South. Lockup, Arn just gives this guy nothing the whole match as Arn works on the left arm, a hammerlock slam highlights that. Arn finishes things up out of nowhere with the Gourdbuster at 3:10. *. See, the difference between last week and this week, is that the squashes are short, and entertaining. No bullshit, no Barbarian 5 minute match. ___________________   Ric Flair has something to say about ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, WHOOOOOOOOO and that NOBODY, NOBODY can beat THE WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.   WHOO. ___________________   Rocky King is facing Mac Jeffers next. WTF? These two are practically jobbers. Boring as fuck, to boot. Rocky King finishes with an ugly powerslam, after offense that consisted of another powerlam, and front face lock, at 3:58. 1/4*. ___________________   Before this match, Magnum TA has to say Ric Flair is overrated. I summarized that, btw. O RLY?   Jim Jeffers is facing Black Bart, and they both trade right hands. A Jeffers rollup gets two, and Bart replies with some forearms. A Jeffers crossbody gets two, and there's a TEST OF STRENGTH. Jeffers monkeyflips Bart, and dropkicks him. He follows with an armbar, and Bart slams him in response. Bart tries to slam him again, but Jeffers rolls him up for two. Jeffers gives Bart two dropkicks, but misses the 3rd, and Bart legdrops Jeffers for the pin at 4:40. *1/4, but Black Bart gave Jeffers WAY too much offense. ___________________   Jim Cornette's out again, and his mom sent Tony Schiavone a tie. But Jim likes it so much, he'll keep it for himself. I was able to jot that down, because his mouth was running 100 miles a minute. I couldn't get anything else. ___________________   Now, the last match of the SuperStation Championship Challenge Series, is for the US Title, and it's Magnum TA vs. Ole Anderson. Champ is bolded.   Blow-by-blow: Both lockup, and Ole applies a wristlock on Magnum. He misses an elbow, and they square off and measure each other up. Magnum with some right hands (he does this a lot, we'll call it fighting back), and Ole knees him in the stomach. Magnum's head gets pounded into the turnbuckle, and an Ole bodyslam gets a 2 count. Ole continually applies a crossface (no, not like the murderer) and it gets broken in the ropes, and he does it again, and again. A "Let's go Magnum" chant gets started, as Ole works on the left arm of Magnum. He locks Magnum's arm up, and punches and headbutts it. Magnum fights back and returns the armwork that Ole was giving him earlier. Ole with an eye gouge, but a Magnum slam gets two. Ole with a knee to the head, and Magnum's trapped in the corner. But he fights back, only to be thwarted as Ole pulls Magnum through the turnbuckle spacing, and into the steel ringpost.   commercial break   and we're back, as Ole has applied a front facelock. But ARN ANDERSON is at the ring, and DUSTY RHODES BRUDDA HARD TIMES BRUDDA is there to neutralize any added help that would be given by Arn. Magnum fights back, but Ole ends it with an elbow. Ole goes up, but Magnum hits him with his fist on the way down. A Magnum back elbow gets 2, but Ole gives him a big boot after an irish whip. Ole slams Magnum's head into the mat, but Magnum doesn't quit. Magnum with a backdrop and dropkick for 2, a Magnum small package attempt occurs, but both men are stuck in the ropes. Ole goes back to the eyes, and rams Magnum's head into the turnbuckle. Magnum returns the favor, and does the ten punch count at the turnbuckle. Magnum misses a legdrop, and both men slug it out. Double shoulderblock follows, and these two take their first rest. Magnum headbutts Ole, but it hurts Magnum more than it does Ole. Ole back to the eyes AGAIN, and he follows with a scoop slam. He stomps on Magnum, then whips Magnum into the rope, but Magnum shoulderblocks him twice. Ole then elbowdrops him for two, 2 counts. Ole tries to cheat like Ric Flair on a rollup, but the ref spots it. Magnum dropkicks him and follows with a double axehandle from the top rope for 2, but the bell rings. HOWEVER, Jim Crockett says there must be a winner! Ole leaves, and we go to a commercial break as Ole comes back to the ring. Ole with a scoop slam, and some elbow drops, but he misses the 3rd. Magnum is tripped by Arn Anderson, so Dusty comes over to take care of Arn. As that goes on, Magnum rolls up Ole for the win at around 21:00. Wow.   Match analysis: Does it get better than this, on a televised program? I don't know. I took off 1/2* for the commercial break toward the end of the match (that may not be fair to both guys, but I did it), but this ALONE makes the show worth watching. Both men went at it, and didn't let up. Great match, but it probably would have been even better with 10 more minutes. ***1/2. ___________________   Jim Crockett says that we'll have a special edition of World Championship Wrestling on Friday, February the 7th, on TBS, where the fans pick the 4 matches that will take place on the show. I hope, HOPE that WWE 24/7 shows this, but I doubt it. ___________________   The next match, is for the NWA WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, DADDY. It's the champion, NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR, vs. Ronnie Garvin.   Blow-by-blow: The two men shake hands, and they lock up. Garvin with a hiptoss and two flying headscissors, but Flair powers out. Both chop each other, and Garvin gets a shoulderblock. Flair with a hiptoss, but he misses an elbow. Garvin with a hiptoss of his own and a short armscissor, and they chop. Garvin's were harder than Flair's, so Ric bails out to the floor. Flair's "gonna kick your BUTT," so Flair chops him. Garvin with a few right hands and headbutts, then some chops and a roll-up, but it only gets a 2 count. Front facelock by Garvin, but Flair stomps on his arm. Flair with some rights and chops, and Garvin with an eye gouge to counter. A Garvin backdrop and elbow gets a 2 count, and back to the front facelock. The two wrestlers have a war of chops, but Garvin stops that with a headlock. Flair with a right to the chest, and he throws Garvin to the floor. On the floor, Flair rams Garvin's arm into the steel ringpost. Flair with some blows to the chest of Garvin, and   commercial break   we're back, with Flair choking Garvin. Flair mounts Garvin and punches him in the mouth, and chops him. Garvin with some rights, and we have our first Flair Flop. And now Flair gets whipped into the buckle, and we have a Flair Flip, as Flair goes over, and out to the floor. Garvin with somemore hard chops, and a Garvin crossbody block gets two. Flair begs off, but Garvin chops him until Flair pokes him in the eye. Now Flair takes over, as he gives him a back suplex and kneedrop for 2. Flair with some chops, then Garvin blocks his suplex attempt. Garvin gets the suplex, then a sleeper. Flair with a shinbreaker, and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL. If school consists of Garvin headbutts, chops, and a bite of the nose, you're right. Flair chops him some more, and chokes him too. Garvin gets a shoulderblock, and THEN A FIST OF FUCKING STONE TO THE MOUTH, which is followed up with a backdrop. Flair with a headlock takeover and they do the bridge, and backslide out of that spot, with Garvin doing the powering up and backslide, which gets a 2 count. Whew. Garvin hits him with another FIST OF STONE for two, and Flair crotches Garvin along the top rope when he gets up. Flair throws the referee out of the way, and DUSTY RHODES is down at the ring as the bell rings at 15:39, which I will assume is a double DQ. Dusty with the figure-four, but the Andersons attack. This looks as if it'll be a repeat of the angle with Dusty trapped in a cage, but it's not. Babyface wrestlers such as Magnum TA and Sam Houston fight off 3/4ths of the soon to become, Four Horsemen. Ole, Arn and Flair cut a promo afterward, and Flair says he beat Garvin, damnit. He looks possessed, honestly. Like Ken Shamrock, sorta.   Match analysis: Simply put, a great match. Definitely the best televised match of that year (unless there's something I'm missing, and nothing from Starrcade counts). A clean finish would only add to the rating, but as of now, this is the best Ron Garvin match I've seen. Both guys went all-out for 15 minutes, and I appreciated it. **** is the rating, I could only add 1/4* more if the finish were clean. Excellent stuff. ___________________   Italian Stallion is facing Pablo Crenshaw now, and this is a boring squash with Stallion hitting a powerslam to win at 3:10. *, I could have done without that. ___________________   JJ Dillon has a promo in which he really, REALLY foreshadows the formation of the Four Horsemen (but if you didn't know any better, just another group) and he says that HE was the one that paid for Baby Doll to go to Acapulco and leave Tully alone for a while. WELL.   Dusty Rhodes follows that with his own promo, where he destroys the desk of the announcers. He needs room, and he wants Ric Flair now. And if Flair's not going to come and get it, Rhodes is going to bring it to him. And he'll do it now. ___________________   Tully Blanchard vs. Kent Glover is next, and Tully works on the right leg, with a spinning toe hold. David Crockett says there's trouble in the back, so he bails on the broadcast. Back to the spinning toe hold, and a Tully slingshot suplex finishes at 2:12. 3/4*. I'm starting to get used to seeing these jobbers every week, and I'm going to be picking favorites soon. ___________________   That's all.   As for the show...   Rating: Great. Whenever you get two, long, GOOD TV matches such as the two that took place on this show, it's a good TV show. That's the best wrestling TV show I've seen from the 80's, hands down. The two matches in the middle are worth tracking down, if you don't have WWE 24/7.   Best match: Ric Flair vs. Ronnie Garvin. Lots of brawling, but it was great.   Worst match: Sam Houston vs. Tony Zane. A boring squash. ___________________   And that's it, the next thing I post will probably be a review of Halloween Havoc '89, and that'll come on Sunday unless my brother's girlfriend doesn't come over.
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Review: NWA 12/21/85

Playoffs start tomorrow. The Angels will win the World Series.     They skipped a week of NWA, I'm not going to complain, as the "main" was Krusher Khrushchev vs. Pez Whatley, for the Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Title.   The program starts off with some Dusty moments from the past, haha, then Dusty's in LIVE AND LIVING COLOR BRUDDA. Hey... He looks to be in pretty good shape, for Dusty anyway. Doesn't look like he's aged much at all.   Then the geniuses in the 24/7 department flashback to Halloween Havoc 1995, when the Horsemen reform by kicking the shit out of Sting. Flair, Arn, and Pillman version. I haven't seen much of this stuff, so I appreciate when the video department does this.   David Crockett and Schiavone host, and they talk about the TV Title tournament that's upcoming on the 4th of January 1986. The TV title tournament was booked when 3 of the future Four Horsemen (sans Tully) broke Dusty's ankle during the infamous angle after Flair defended his title against inside the not so high NWA steel cage. If you haven't seen the angle, you really need to. The tournament ends with in the final; then they talk about the Championship Challenge series that's been occuring on these weekly shows for the past month or so. This show is from the TV studio.     Now, a forewarning. For these squash shows, my recaps are different. Highlights of the match, a brief thought and a rating. That's it. The long matches get a rating, then only the blow-by-blow, and a little analysis, but no prematch, as these matches start straight out of the commercial break. For Nitros and Raws, that will be dealt with accordingly.     1st match, one half of the National Tag Team Champions (don't ask), Ole Anderson w/Arn Anderson v. Bob Wayne.   Lame armwork by Ole and hey, Teddy Long's the ref!! He's sporting a skullet. Ew. All Ole does this match is an armbar, scoop slam, knee off the top rope and an armbar for the submission finish at 4:31. DUD. Way too long.   ___________________   Paul Jones cuts a promo for the Barbarian, because he's a mute, you know. Lame heelish verbage, and they talk about the TV Title tourney on the 4th. I kinda wish I had a video of that tournament.   ___________________   Commercial break, and we're back with the 2nd match, Nikita Koloff w/Uncle Ivan v. Tony Zane.   Zane tries a rollup but gets shrugged off, Uncle Ivan yells "WHERE ARE ROAD WARRIOR" as Nikita roughs up the jobber. Nikita no-sells some jobber punches and finishes with the RUSSIAN SICKLE OF COMMUNIST POWER AND MIGHT STRAIGHT OUTTA MOSCOW for 3 at 2:57. Better match, more bearable and ended quickly. 1/2*.   ___________________   Magnum and Dusty cut a promo, they're called America's Team here, and Magnum has some wear on his forehead from a ROUGH bladejob. It looks like the guy stabbed himself with a steakknife in the head. Poor promo by Dusty, nothing compared to the one he cut 2 weeks before.   ___________________   Barbarian's back out for the 3rd match with Paul Jones in tow, he'll be facing Richard Dunn.   He bites him, hits a delayed vertical suplex that's better than Davey Boy's, as much as I hate to say it. Big powerslam from Barbarian and a diving headbutt off the top finishes at 5:03. WAY too long, 1/4*.   ___________________   Tully with a promo about Magnum, where he declares that he wears this gym sweatshirt from Magnum's hometown so that he never forgets what Magnum TA took from him. He's also entering the tournament for the Television Title. I don't think much of Tully's promos.   ___________________   In the 4th match, Krusher Khrushchev w/Ivan Koloff takes on Bill Mulkey.   Big beel, HAMMERLOCK SLAM (I love that move), and a SICKLE finishes at 1:56. * for the hammerlock slam.   ___________________   JJ Dillon thinks Nature Boy Buddy Landel is a member of the New England Patriots, as Buddy and the National Title don't get any respect, but Buddy isn't out there. In fact, he dropped the belt before this show aired, and wasn't heard from again. Wiki says he had drug problems and left the company. Dumbass.   ___________________   In the 5th match, Tully Blanchard w/Baby Doll faces off against Vernon Deaton.   Supposedly Baby Doll is a perfect 10. Uh, no. Idiot jobber gives Tully no help on a headlock takeover, Tully hits a nice European Uppercut and finishes with the Slingshot Suplex at 4:34. *.   ___________________   This show is really dragging along, as Arn comes out and has some words to say about the TV title tournament, and his favorite tag team, the Rock N Roll Express. Words of anger and spite, as he wants the World Tag Team Titles.   ___________________   In the 6th match, it's Sam Houston v. Kent Glover.   Houston screws around way too long with Glover and gives him way too much offense, IMO. A bulldog finishes at 6:13. A complete AND TOTAL FUCKING WASTE OF TIME. DUD. I noticed earlier that Teddy Long's been the ref for each match, and I've gotta wonder, is the promotion about to go out of business here? Everyone's turning in shitty performances, and Schiavone hasn't said more than 20 words. The enthusiasm isn't there tonight. Must've been the last taping after a long day.   ___________________   THE REAL WORLD'S CHAMP, the NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR BABY comes out and has a message for everyone. He's a modern-day sex symbol, he's the best dressed, best lookin' man out there. He doesn't go on the jet flyin' rant, Space Mountain WHOO, but he puts Jim Crockett and the Championship Challenge over instead, the kind of action you only get on the Superstation, hear that. Dusty's gonna get it when they rassle on Christmas, and since it's Christmas, Flair's in the season of giving. 300 dollars for Tony so Tony can take his wife and kids to dinner. Dinner must be good for the Schiavone's. 200 bucks for Magnum so he can buy some nicer clothes, and get this, a whopping 500 BUCKS for Dusty, so he can buy himself a ticket out of ATLANTA DADDY.   WHOO.   WHOO.   WHOO.   ___________________   Great stuff from Flair. Livened things up a bit, until this, anyway.   Ron Garvin and the Ragin' Bull vs. Black Bart and Thunderfoot, which is one of the worst gimmicks I've ever seen in my fucking life. He's dressed sorta like Radioactive Man, and I can't believe they previously had JJ Dillon with this clown. This match is part of the SuperStation Championship Challenge Series.   Blow-by-blow: Ragin' Bull has a deep cut on his forehead from the houseshow circuit that looks as if it's going to bust open any moment. It looks terrible. Garvin and Black Bart start, Garvin tries to throw Bart out but he holds on. Garvin works on the leg and tags Bull in, and he takes over the leg work with a splash to the leg of Bart, and a headbutt to the groin of Bart. Thunderfoot comes in and establishes himself as a real tough guy in the squared circle with a clothesline and an elbow drop. But he gets dumped and Bull tries to take Thunderfoot's boot off (What the fuck? I find out why later.) Bart comes back in and hits the Bull with a back elbow, and Bull bails out with a tag to Garvin. Garvin's terrible offense consists of a snapmare, a crucifix for a two count, a headscissor, and Teddy Long (still in there) breaks it up once Bart grabs hold of the ropes. Garvin steps on Black Bart's hand. Wow. Anyway, they both exchange chops, but Bart says no more of that, and Thunderfoot's in. A slam and elbow drop get a 1 count, and a headlock by Thunderfoot takes us to a commercial break.   Garvin doesn't know what selling is. Pitiful.   We're back, with Bart and Garvin inside the ring. Garvin with PUNCHES OF STONE and thankfully Bart no-sells it. Something we're seeing a lot of here. 2 of the guys in this match don't sell, and Thunderfoot has a mask, so he can't. It's like watching children wrestle in the living room. Thunderfoot grabs a tag-rope choke on Garvin, but thankfully this isn't the start of a heat sequence with Garvin as FIP, as Ragin' Bull gets in. He hits his third back elbow of the match, and gives a bodyslam and kneedrop from the second rope to Thunderfoot for a 2 count. Heat sequence time and I'm not going to recap that part, but once Thunderfoot gets in, a backbreaker is served up to Bull. Bull rages for a second, gives a suplay to Thunderfoot AND WE HAVE BLOOD, as the Ragin' Bull's cut on the forehead magically opens up. If I were to wager, I bet that blade-job left a scar. Words don't do it justice. This match is fuckin' terrible, so I'll skip ahead to Thunderfoot loading up his boot (and that's why the Bull tried to get TF's boot off, HIS FEET ARE ENDOWED WITH A POWER THAT CAN ONLY BE ATTRIBUTED TO THAT OF WCW THUNDER). From there, literally 2 seconds after the boot gets loaded up, Garvin tags in quickly with no build for a sunset flip off the top at 14:34 for the three count. Where to start with this mess? The match had no flow, and I'm really tempted to give it negative stars. I'll give it 1/2*, don't try that at home kids. Everyone will fall asleep and there'll be nobody to call an ambulance when you break your necks. I recommend a fastforward through this part if you plan on watching it. A complete waste of time.   ___________________   Crockett comes out and I fucking marked, as in the last installment of the SuperStation Championship Challenge next week, we will have a US TITLE MATCH BETWEEN MAGNUM FUCKING TA AND OLE ANDERSON. I don't care for Ole, but hot shit, that's going to be fun. Flair comes out and puts Crockett over again, and says he's pissed about not being a part of the action, but pesky old Ron Garvin's standing at the other side of the announce table, looking for some promo time. Uh-oh, you don't cut off the World's Champion, JACK. Flair and Garvin have words, mostly Flair, and Garvin says he wants to wrestle. Flair says, why wait when we can do it next week. Ric says he'll buy a whole hour from Turner and they'll do it. Bad as Garvin is, a Flair match is most certainly welcome. I don't know why anyone put a World Title on that clown.   ___________________   In match #8, the Rock N Roll Express face the other Mulkey, Randy, and Larry Clarke.   Rock and Roll chant halfway through a boring match, neckbreaker from Ricky Morton, and a backsuplex from Ricky Morton, and a sunset flip finishes at 6:49. Almost 7 minutes for a squash? Get out of here. 1/2*   ___________________   Magnum TA faces George South in a US Title match that will surely get a full recap. Magnum shoulderblocks him, press slam's him, and a side belly-to-belly finishes at 0:27. My kind of squash match. *.   ___________________   In the 10th match, of which there have been far too many, as this lacked a long 6 man tag like the last aired episode to speed things up, it's Arn Anderson vs. Josh Stroud.   This Stroud guy definitely has the "WWF look", he's roided to the gills. I'm surprised Vince didn't see this, hire him, and give him a push. Arn works the left arm for the full duration of the match, but it's not like Ole's match where it was literally ALL HE DID. Arn wants Dusty Rhodes in this very ring, a hammerlock slam leads to a Gourdbuster that finishes the match at 4:27. *   ___________________   Dusty Rhodes is bad, baby. Ric Flair's bad, Tully Blanchard's bad, the Russians are bad, the Barbarian is bad, Buddy Landel is bad, JJ Dillon is bad, the Andersons are bad, the Midnights are bad...ok, you get it, but nobody's as bad as Dusty Freakin' Rhodes, you hear me?   ___________________   In the last match, Ivan Koloff brings one of the Russians down with him as he faces Dan Turner.   Ivan dumps him in a hurry and JUMPS DOWN TO THE CONCRETE ON TURNER. Holy crap, he can fly. Koloff gives Turner a stiff looking swinging neckbreaker, but on the first Russian Sickle attempt he misses. Turner hits a crossbody for two, but you absolutely cannot fuck with Moscow, which leads to the ever-so-obvious Russian Sickle to finish at 3:58. The best match of this show, I shit you not. *1/2, mostly for the jump by Ivan to the studio floor.   ___________________   To finish, RIC FLAIR cuts ANOTHER PROMO, puts over Ivan Koloff, and says he's going to screw 8,000 women on Christmas morning. That's a visual. He ain't afraid of no Ron Garvin, and Dusty's gonna see what happens Christmas night, when Naitch' WALKS DOWN THAT AISLE and into the squared circle, it's gonna be lights for Rhodes.   ___________________     I rate the television shows this way. Great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible. Teddy Long officiated EVERY SINGLE MATCH and the match in the middle of the show that can usually be counted on to deliver wasn't so hot. Terrible, at that. The squash matches were too long. Very little talent was used, what about the Midnights and Cornette? The Road Warriors? What about Billy Jack Haynes, who they were giving a decent push, and Terry Taylor? This show wasn't the same without Jimmy Valiant, sad to say. That's the type of character that should be on a squash show.       Rating: Bad.   Comments are welcome.
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Review: NWA 1/4/86.

It's really easy to review the squash matches like I did yesterday, so here. This'll only apply to squash matches on the PTW and NWA shows. ___________________   Ok, the show starts with Ole Anderson's leg being broken by Dusty Rhodes and the Road Warriors. It's awfully similar to Dusty's leg being broken after Flair's cage match with Nikita. That's the point, of course.   Tully Blanchard and JJ Dillon cut a promo after we're told that Dusty won the National Title, and JJ tells Tony and David not to mention Baby Doll around them again. They say we'll see later. ___________________   It's the NWA Tag Team Champs, the Rock & Roll Express v. Thunderfoot and Jim Jeffers, and the R&R's finish the bout at 4:34 with a double dropkick. *1/2. ___________________   Back to Tully again, and he's really pissed off about Baby Doll. He says she cheated on him...well, after the break, we learn that the Horsemen want to destroy Jimmy Valiant. Why him? They show a clip from the syndicated show, World Wide Wrestling, and Tully straight out slaps Baby Doll across the face. David Crockett nearly jumps onto Tully and beats the shit out of him, but JJ Dillon holds him back. Dusty comes out and punches Tully, and says Baby Doll belongs to him now.   Now that is how you ditch a manager. ___________________   Back to the ring, and it's Harley Race vs. Tony Zane. I have no idea why Harley was at a JCP taping, but anyways...he pins Zane with a diving headbutt off the 2nd rope, at 3:26. *.   Promo time afterward, and it's Ivan Koloff with the 6-man tag title trophy. Yeah, a trophy. He and his nephew Nikita are going to beat Road Warrior. ___________________   Here's another surprise, because for some reason I forgot that Ron Bass was working for Jim Crockett, as Ron is up against Bill Tabb. Bass pins him with the CLAW at 2:27. DUD. Yeah, that wasn't very good. The difference between Bass here and when he went up north is astounding. He either hit the gym, or was on the juice a few years later. ___________________   Dusty brings Baby Doll with him to the promo area; Dusty says that Arn Anderson will be the next one to be put in the hospital. And now, we see the full video of Dusty breaking Ole's leg. Continuity? Revenge? That's what it was. ___________________   Ron Garvin faces off against Mac Jeffers in the 4th match, and Garvin just beats the shit out of Jeffers. Shit, you'd think Jeffers tried to steal something in the locker room. A FIST OF STONE finishes the bout at 4:01, for Garvin. *.   Harley Race has some words for us all, and he plugs his match in St. Louis which will take place in a steel cage, against Ric Flair. Makes sense. Him wanting to fight Magnum TA really doesn't, though. ___________________   The Road Warriors beat three jobbers in about 30 seconds. Nothing to see here, but it was pretty funny. It went so fast that I forgot to time it, and once I started, it was over. DUD. Handicap matches don't mean shit to the Road Warriors.   They want the 6 man tag team titles, but first, they have to find a partner. They don't have one yet. ___________________   The Ragin' Bull Manny Fernandez faces Larry Clark...yeah, that was probably the worst match on the show. Fernandez pinned Clark after a flying forearm at 4:26. DUD.   Ric Flair has something to say about Baby Doll, namely that she had the opportunity to ride SPACE MOUNTAIN WHOOOO, but Flair wanted no part of that. What a guy. ___________________   Arn Anderson beats Kent Glover with the gourdbuster at 2:47. *   Flair makes his way back to the promo area, and Arn joines him this time. We finally learn that the angle where Dusty broke Ole's leg occured at the Omni. Well gee, thanks. For some reason, Arn calls himself in-bred.   ...   Baby Doll comes out and says Arn's next, and in response, Flair lays down on the floor and says Baby Doll will be like that when she gets off Space Mountain. That made the entire show, right there. Funnier than hell. Words don't do it justice, you have to see it. Unfortunately, I can't find a youtube video. So for those that can't see it, you're out of luck. Sorry. ___________________   Jimmy Valiant (whose gimmick I love, although his hair looks fake) faces off against an unnamed jobber, and pins him with an elbow drop at 1:11. This show is really being oversaturated by appearances of the Horsemen, as Tully came out during the match to the commentary area (same as promo area) and told Tony and David that Valiant was next. YEAH, WE KNOW THAT.   Jim Cornette has an interview in which he brags about winning the PWI Manager of the Year Award. I could listen to him ramble all day. We then see a video clip of the Midnight Express attacking the Rock & Roll's. They just wanted to make the R&R's unhappy.   And, to follow up on that, we have our first non-squash match, Lover Boy Dennis Condrey vs. Rocky King. I say King's not a jobber because he beat one on the last aired show. I mean, King's a jabroni, but for purposes of matches in the next few weeks, he isn't. You can tell its been a long time between TV tapings, because King has an afro going.   Condrey takes King down to the canvas, then dumps him out to the floor. As usual, Cornette goes to the commentary area and rambles for about 10 seconds, at random intervals. Condrey gives King a snapmare and applies a chinlock, which is fairly inexcusable. It's a 5 minute match, COME ON. Moving on, King gets up and is taken down again, and covered for a 2 count. Condrey elbows King on the top of the head, and dumps him to the outside. Condrey whips King off the ropes, and King blows whatever they were trying to do, so Condrey reapplies the chinlock. So that's why Condrey applied the chinlock in the first place. Rocky King sucks. Badly. Condrey gets a small package for two, and dumps King again. Condrey gives King a baseball slide, and an abdominal stretch once King gets inside the ring. Rocky starts a faux-comeback with a scoop slam and two dropkicks, but Condrey gives him a FUCKING BRAINBUSTER for 3 at 5:04. The brainbuster forced me to let out an audible "oh shit," and my mother told me not to cuss like that around the kids. I usually don't, and she hears me every single time, no matter where she is. Yeah, I still live at home. For now, anyway. *1/4.   Dusty and Baby Doll are back, and Baby Doll says, "why would I ride Space Mountain when I can have the whole park." You ain't kiddin', either. ___________________   In the "main event" of the show, we have the US Champ, Magnum TA, facing The Barbarian w/Paul Jones. I don't know if it's a title match, it was never specified.   Barbarian looks too much like the Road Warriors, namely Animal. Hopefully this is changed up. Harley Race is out to watch the match, which is little surprise. I don't know where JCP went with the Harley/Magnum thing, if they went anywhere at all. Barbarian applies a wristlock, and Magnum reverses to a hammerlock. Magnum kicks Barbarian over the top rope, and Harley wants the referee to disqualify Magnum. You know, because of the NWA's rule about disqualifying wrestlers who throw their opponents over the top rope. Back inside, Magnum gives Barbarian a backdrop and an armdrag. He applies an armbar, but Barbarian finds his way out. Barbarian misses a clothesline, so Magnum goes back to the hammerlock. For what looked to be no reason, Magnum started chasing Paul Jones around the ring, then through it, until Jones wound up in the spot he was in, before the chasing. Barbarian misses a charge into the corner, and Magnum reapplies the armbar. Jones says it's a moral victory that Barbarian has lasted so long with Magnum, and we go to a   commercial break   We come back from the break, and Barbarian has a chinlock applied. He gets a legdrop and a Hotshot, then picks Magnum up in a choke and drops him to the canvas. Barbarian gets a backbreaker for 2, and a thrust kick. A big boot gets 2, but Magnum avoids a kneedrop. Magnum gets a dropkick for two, and the momentum from the atomic drop he gave Barbarian leads to Barbarian running over the referee. Here comes the typical JCP screwy finish. Magnum gets the BELLY-TO-BELLY suplex, but there's no referee. Paul Jones hits Magnum with his cane, and Barbarian gives him a diving headbutt. Well, since there's no referee, Harley says that someone has to make the count. Might as well be him, right? He counts the pinfall at 8:37, to give Barbarian the 'win'. Obviously it's a no-contest. Magnum tries to fight Harley, Jones and Barbarian off, but he can't. Harley and Barbarian both give Magnum headbutts off the top rope, so the Rock & Roll Express have to come out along with Jimmy Valiant to save Magnum. Poor guy. **.   Harley comes back to say something, and says that there just had to be a referee. He didn't do anything to Magnum until the match was over, which is true.   The Road Warriors then give Tony a shirt. It said Weasel Slappers, but the spelling on the shirt was wrong.   Jimmy Valiant has an interview of his own, in which you can clearly see that the hair on top of his head is a hairpiece. If it's not, I'd be awfully surprised. ___________________   Sam Houston and Nelson Royal square off against Pablo Crenshaw and __________, didn't get the name, cause I wrote down Nelson Royal twice. Anyway, Sam Houston wins the match with the bulldog at 1:57. 1/2*. ___________________   Magnum cuts a promo, and he says, if Harley wants it, he can come get it. He ain't what he once was, no sir. ___________________     Rating: Good. The angles and recaps of what happened at the Omni were awesome.   Best Match: Magnum TA vs. The Barbarian   Worst Match: Ragin' Bull vs. Larry Clark   Loudest Sound: Whenever Flair made an appearance, and the R&R's.   No Sound: Every jobber, and Sam Houston. If I haven't made it clear, I don't like Sam Houston. ___________________   I don't know what I'll post next.
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Review: NWA 1/18/86.

It's either this or the MNW, and I'm certainly not watching that after watching USC lose a tough game to Memphis. It's gotta be something sure to put me in a good mood. ___________________   We see the clip from last week, where the Midnight Express came to the ring and attacked the Rock n Roll Express, but most notably, injured the throat of Ricky Morton. ___________________   The first match is Ron Garvin vs. Pablo Crenshaw, and in what's not a surprise, Garvin finishes it with a HAND OF STONE, at 3:20. *. He cuts a promo, and talks about how much desire he has. Garvin says that Flair used to have it, but it's disappeared. ___________________   Ivan Koloff (World 6 Man Tag Champion) faces Benny "U-Haul" Traylor, and it goes a little long for my taste. Koloff does 2 of every move during the match, and pins Traylor with the Russian Sickle at 4:52. DUD. Seen better from Uncle Ivan. ___________________   Jimmy Valiant comes out and cuts a promo. Man, I think he's funny as hell, and I don't even know why. He faces Mr. Georgia Tech (look at the mask). The guy's name is never mentioned, and probably with good reason. Valiant gives him the Boogie Woogie Elbow, at around 3:40. Thankfully, it was short. 1/4*. ___________________   Ric Flair comes out, and talks about women, and Ron Garvin. Space Mountain and all that, yadayadayada. Not one of his better efforts. ___________________   Quickly following him, it's Nikita and Uncle Ivan. Well, Paul Jones appears, and volunteers a wrestler to help them defend their 6-man trophy. It's BARON VON FUCKING RASCHKE!!! Baron goes to the ring, and he's facing Tony Zane. He gives that ugly motherfucker THE CLAW, at 2:49, and Zane submits. Jones makes sure that the referee doesn't make him break the hold, and Tony Schiavone calls Randy Anderson, "Peewee." Did not know they used to call him that. Baron cuts a promo, and while I like how he talks, it isn't very "German." But whatever. Match was 1/2*. ___________________   Sam Houston (Mid Atlantic Heavyweight Champion) faces off against Art Prills next. Dear God help me. I can't stand Houston's squashes, so, of course, this one is extra long. 7:12, and ended with Houston's bulldog. 7 FUCKING 12. No squash should EVER be that long. DUD. ___________________   Dusty Rhodes and Baby Doll are with Tony, Dusty's talking about he and Baby Doll going up to the Himalayas, and Baby Doll riding a YAK. What? That makes no sense. He's making fun of Ric Flair, obviously, and talking about how he travels the world. He says he's going to go see Don Owen this week (promoter, ran Portland). Baby Doll talks about Tully a bit, and I don't like listening to her all that much, so it's a good thing that ran short. ___________________   The Barbarian w/Paul Jones is taking on the Big Bossman Big Bubba Rogers The Boss The Guardian Angel Ray Taylor next. Taylor's a huge guy. So, Barbarian gives him a powerslam, and finishes off the match with a flying headbutt off the top, at 3:33:33. No typo. *1/4. I love watching Barbarian beat the shit out of these jobbers. ___________________   Magnum TA's with Tony, to talk about Nikita Koloff. Magnum was at Vengeance 07? Why the fuck did I not know this? Lee Peek is taking on Magnum (US Champion), and Magnum beats him with the belly-to-belly in 34 seconds. Thanks for the short squash. *. ___________________   Here comes the shit I hate, more Dusty overkill. Tony's with Dusty's doctor, and the doctor says that Dusty has to get rid of the steel toe boot he's been wearing. Arn Anderson comes out after the pretaped clip is shown, and he's livid. Cause Dusty and Arn have a cage match, see. Arn says he doesn't belong in a cage, he's not a criminal. But at the end he says, remember what happened the last time an Anderson was in a cage with Dusty. Good promo. ___________________   The Rock n Roll Express face the team of Larry Clarke and Jerry Garmon next. Quickly finished at 4:14 with the double dropkick, that gets Ricky Morton the pinfall. *. ___________________   Jim Cornette comes to the commentary area. Oh shit. He's not happy because of all the mail about what they did to Ricky Morton. He talks about the pre-pubescent little girls who like Morton and only know how to write with crayon. It's so hard to keep up with him, that's all I wrote down. He rambles, on and on and on. In a good way, though. Seeing as he came out, the Midnight Express have to be facing someone. It's Larry Vickery and Bill Tabb. The Midnights finish Vickery at 5:07, after Condrey launches Bobby Eaton onto Vickery, with a splash off the top. **. Again, this is a lesson in squashing. Anyone that watches The Wire, they'd think that Bill Tabb looks a bit like Dennis "Cutty" Wise. You know, the guy that came out of jail, got back in "the game" and bitched out. Enough of that, though. ___________________   Poor old Gene Ligon has to face Tully Blanchard w/JJ Dillon. Dillon just called Baby Doll out. He said it would take a forklift to put her on the back of a yak. Yo. The fans continually chant "I Quit" throughout the match, which is awesome. I like how HARD it was for fans to forget stuff back then. Now, it's easy for the regular fan to forget something after a week or two. Sucks, but that's the business, I suppose. Tully finishes Ligon with the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX at 4:48. *1/2. ___________________   Garvin comes out again, and we flashback to 12/28. Review for that is right here..   http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/blog/kingo...?showentry=2299   It was awesome. Back to the show, Ric Flair comes out, and punches Garvin right in the mouth. FIGHT!!! He throws Garvin in the ring, and tosses Mac Jeffers and the referee out of there. Flair chops Garvin to death and gives him a suplex, then sits on Garvin, like Garvin does when he's pinning a jobber. Oh fuck no. Flair walks back towards the commentary table, and Garvin attacks him from behind. Now Garvin starts to beat his ass, until Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson run into the ring, and hold Garvin for Flair to beat up. Dusty, Magnum and Sam Houston (one of these does not belong) run out to the ring, and save Garvin. Garvin gives Flair a HAND OF STONE, and sits on him, just like Flair did a minute ago. Haha. To the commercial, and Flair's still out. Tully and Arn have words for the babyfaces, talking about how the Four Horsemen will retaliate. You don't mess with their family.   Hot, HOT segment. ___________________   Now, the match that was interrupted by Garvin/Flair. It's my nephew Nikita vs. Mac Jeffers. Throughout the match, Nikita stops what he's doing, and goes into Goldberg mode, yelling out STINKIN' ROAD WARRIOR. So awesome. See, I would have done the Goldberg thing with him back then. No joke. Had they done that, whichever American that beat him would have received the ULTIMATE rub. The Sickle finishes at 4:00. Nikita is so awesome. If you think otherwise, you just don't understand. *1/2. Nikita, Baron and Ivan come to the commentary area, and Nikita talks about how he'll be US Champion. Ivan says Khrusher will be back, but until then, they'll use "greedy American" Paul Jones' help. They say they like greedy Americans.   The show's over, after we see Flair get knocked out by Garvin again. ___________________   Rating: Good. Hot angle, stinkin' ROAD WARRIOR, Jim Cornette, and Baron Von Raschke. My bias for this promotion and especially this time period is well known, but I don't know how anyone could NOT like this stuff.   Best Segment: Garvin knocking out Flair.   Worst Segment: Sam Houston's LONG squash. Please, stop. At least make them shorter.   Loudest Sound: Tully, Flair, Nikita and Ivan. Simple.   No Sound: Nobody. The crowd goes nuts to see all of them. ___________________   Don't know what I'll review next. Not the MNW, cause the Kings play tonight, and so do the Lakers. I'll probably review nothing. I don't like the way everything's being spread out this month. Instead, I'll be watching some PURO, but I don't want to make a fool out of myself, so no review.
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