9:30 p.m.
• Yeah, too bad if these kids got killed by the cops you wouldn't be saying this "now's not the time for blame" shit.
Here's my favorite part.
I think God was trying to tell you that you're a shitty mother and your kids are better up there with him than down there with you.
Living about 30 miles from the area, this has gotten a good deal of coverage (I made a remark about this story last week), and, if the rumors are true, it sounds like the two mothers would lock their kids up while they would go to the nearby bar.
1:45 p.m.
• Dedicated to the recently hitched Smitty and SFA Jack. Not to each other, though. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Smitty lives for the cock.
So Friday my old lady sends the better half and I an anniversary gift: some money. Whatever. I’m not 10 anymore but you never look a gift check in the mouth, or at least until after it clears. Last night when I got home from work Mrs. kkk struck up the following conversation regarding said windfall.
Her: “You know what I was thinking we could do with that money? Since we weren’t expecting it, we could use it to buy a new door for the back porch.”
Me: “You know what I was thinking we could do with that money? Pay off credit-card debt.”
There was a moment of silence, then she responds with this: “Well, I don’t want to put the new screen door in the back until we replace that back door first.”
Here’s some backstory. While paying off the better half’s credit-card debt, we made an agreement that she could get two screen doors this summer to replace the shitty ones that came with the house when we bought it in 2004. Well, these new doors we recently bought aren’t screen doors, but whatever. They’re those secondary doors where when you open the main door your cats can look outside with no problems. Here's the one we got for the front entrance.
Side note: I would like to point out that the old front screen door did have a huge rip in it because Dessa (pictured bottom left) got out a few months ago and decided that she didn’t like it out there, ripped a hole in the screen, jumped in-between the two doors and cried until one of us realized she was no longer in the house. Back to my story.
Of course, the cost of these things (one for the front door, one for the back) was more than what Mrs. kkk said they were going to be. Big shock there. But here’s my favorite part. After making my remark up above, she then mentions that she now wants to replace the main back door before putting on the back screen door. When did we decide on this shit? Is that supposed to be some kind of threat that oh no we have a screen door paid for but won’t install it until we go out and buy another door? My response to her response to my first response to her first response.
“OK, then the screen door will stay in the garage.”
Yeah, I have no idea how she ended up with $20k in credit-card debt. The really sad thing is that we’ve almost finished paying off the aforementioned debt and now she’s thinking it’s time to go out and accrue more expenses.
Here’s another example of wedded bliss that took place early in the week on the way home from work. I’m sure you can figure out who is who in this conversation.
“What’s wrong with your mouth?”
“I cut my lip”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it – it’s stupid.”
“No, what happened?”
“I did something stupid and paid the price.”
“What was it?”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Come on, what was it.”
“I cut myself licking a noodle off my Campbell’s soup can during lunch at work today.”
“Why did you do that?”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“You know you’re not supposed to do that. You could get hurt doing that. That was stupid.”
“No shit.”
“Why would you do something about that?”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“I can’t believe you did something that stupid.”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“You not going to get any sympathy from me.”
“When was I asking for any?”
The rest of the conversation is a blur. All I remember is at some point she said, “why am I with you?” Later on I turned up the car radio and connected a few right crosses to her face. Then again, I think this isn’t so much “wedded bliss,” rather than it being “together with someone for 10 years” bliss.
“I do.” Ain’t those two little words a bitch? Happy matrimony, guys.
I justy noticed my USA Today insert that's in my Sunday paper has a cover story talking about "Marriage and Money." Oh this should be good.
This just in. Right as I'm typing, the better half just came in and said, "honey, I just hit myself in the head off the house." Oh this should be even better. DEVELOPING...
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 21: Cartman
I don’t have much to say about Cartman. The guy’s a commie, but as I have said before that’s not really all that big a deal. What is a big deal, though, is that he is the kkk Bowl II champ. Don’t believe me? Look at his sig. Speaking of NFL contests, it looks like he did some “Survivor” deal back in ’03. We've been around that long? Wonder if he's got the same girlfriend that he had back in '04 where he wanted to know what kind of video games the two of them could play together? Hey, she liked sports games; sounds like a keeper to me.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Cancer Marney:
Coming soon...
The Top 20~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
DEVELOPING...
9 p.m.
• The better half had an interesting story to tell today. She had to work late so I made the bitch take the bus home. When she takes the bus home, she hops on Westmoreland Transit, which is the county we live in that’s next to Allegheny County, home of Shittsburgh. Because of this distance, there aren’t as many bus routes for Westmoreland Transit as there are for the Port Authority of Allegheny County (which by the way is a fucking joke and is bankrupt). Mrs. kkk was on the bus today and this bitch was sitting near her on the phone bitching to some bureaucratic peon from Westmoreland Transit. The problem? The bus this chick was originally waiting for broke down and she had to wait two hours for the next one to pick her up. When she asked the bus driver if she had to pay the fare, the bus driver said “yes” in “a rude manner.” Now the better half said she was ready to tell this person to shut up, but I know better. She just sat there and let this cunt do her thing. I’ve taken public transportation during my college years and it’s just a fact of life that these pieces of shit break down every now and then. That’s the price you pay for using public transportation.
That’s also the price paid for depending on the government to provide for you.
6:30 p.m.
• So Pacman Jones is in a bit of trouble…
… and what do I hear on a SportsCenter teaser today -- “How will THIS affect Pacman Jones’ re-entry into the NFL?” How do you fucking think? I’m sure Roger Goodell will be thinking, “Boy, that Pacman is sure being held down by the Man. I think we’ll shave a few months off his sentence.
• If you haven’t heard this story about Pirates pitcher Ian Snell…
Well now you have. Why do I comment on this? Because of this wacky mishap, Snell got scratched from his regular start, which was last night against the Mariners (which the Pirates won). When is he going to pitch again? Against the Angles. If that’s not paying for one’s stupidity I don’t know what is.
• Today I went to the printers to look over a proof and start the process rolling on this month’s workplace publication. When I walked out of the printers building I saw a white dog roaming around (this was in Shittsburgh’s South Side). Now I have no problem with dogs, but when I see one roaming about I leave it alone. Don’t know where it’s been, don’t know what it’s temperament is. Well, the guy I deal with at this print shop must have been told by a co-worker about this dog and went out to see its condition. We both approached it and noticed it had a collar but no tags. Poor thing was panting like a champ, too. The other guy, a dog owner, took it out back to give it some water and shade and I told him if the owner couldn’t be found I’ll try and set it up in a no-kill shelter. I spent the next 20 minutes when I returned to the office to find a shelter for the pooch, and later on that afternoon I was happy to hear the dog’s owner was reunited with his lost companion. Oh happy days.
Nothing against dogs, but in a house with three cats, it wouldn’t have been a good match. A few years ago, the brother-in-law and his wife asked if we could keep their newly bought dog at our place for a few days so they could surprise their kids on Christmas day. We accepted. Boy was that a fun time. Dessa and JJ didn’t take too kindly to their guest; I think we only saw each of them once during this time, twice at the max. The puppy, who was eventually named Duchess, was a husky or some kinds of elk hound. And of course it had a case of diarrhea the whole time it was with us. That’s what family is for, I guess.
To get shit on.
9:45 a.m.
• Well, I guess I really can celebrate Independence Day today since just minutes ago I made the final payment to that $22k credit card debt the better half accumulated over the years. I really should have just spread it out over July and August, but I’m so sick of seeing that shit on my statement I wanted it gone. Took about 13 months to pay this bitch off. Uh, yay and stuff. Part of me is pissed when I think what could have been done with that money instead of feeding it into a black hole, but now the black hole has been fed and I don’t have to worry about it anymore – or at least until Mrs. kkk decides she can be trusted with finances again.
10 p.m.
• So lovecraft is talking about hippie songs he likes and shit over at his blog. For some reason this gave me the urge to pop in an oldie but goldie -- Body Count's first album. You know, the one with "Cop Killer." Actually, I never really cared for that song when there's much better content on this album. Take for example the genius of these lyrics.
Not quite the same as listening to the actual album, but it's more than what I was expecting from You Tube. I think. OK, I just heard the break between the first and second verses. Forget what I said in the first sentence. My ears, bitch! Now I'm actually watching the video. The hell?
9:45 p.m.
• Forget declining memory and reasoning abilities -- how about old people just get grumpier as time goes along? I should know.
Say, that reminds me. Why don't blacks want their kids marrying Mexicans? Because they don't want their grandchildren too lazy to steal. Who says I don't understand humor comprehension?
5:15 p.m.
• So I just saw my first movie trailer for that Underdog movie. And the sad thing is this will probably make money.
3 p.m.
• Yeah, I know I’m a loser. I don’t care.
So I made some notable changes to my teams in MVP 2005. Well, I didn’t do much with the Pirates, because, well, how can you tweak utter perfection? My A, AA and AAA teams did get some face-lifts. Single-A position players with much better stats than their AAA counterparts moved up while others moved down, and over the last few days I had some interesting contests.
MLB: Edged the Rockies 1-0 thanks to a solo home run. Thank God Colorado can’t hit left-handers in this game.
AA: Was down 7-0 by the second inning, even though I had one of my best starters pitching. To make matters worse, those bastards then switched from a southpaw to a right-handed pitcher, thus screwing up my lineup, which had a few players who couldn’t hit worth shit against righties. Thanks to a five-run ninth, I rallied and won 9-8. Because I called up several players, I needed a right fielder and signed one via free agency. This guy went 3-4 in this game with 4 RBI.
A: This team was a regular mash-fest, which is why I called up several players to AA and AAA teams. I had some trouble scoring early on, but I managed to tie this contest and we went into extra innings – eight of them to be exact. And the funny thing is, my worst relief pitcher threw five scoreless innings.
I’ll probably play my AAA team sometime this week. God only knows what’s going to happen with this bunch.
• I sure can’t wait to see how I got fucked over with this new budget deal.
Crap. That's never a good sign whenever both sides claim victory.
So Fast Eddie is probably going to spend more on stupid shit, and he’s not raising taxes … yet. That’s not a victory you Republican shitheads. You know what this reminds me of? Years ago a group of us were trick-or-treating, and these kids came up to one in our group and surrounded him demanding candy. Much like animals in the wild, we cut our losses with the weak link and moved on. A few houses later, we were approached by the kid we abandoned, and he said to us, “I showed them. They each wanted five candy from me and I only gave them three.” Yeah, you showed them.
Good job Republicans. You state pols are just as bad as the Democrats. Then again, fuck the constituents. They deserve to get screwed. Oh, and listen to this furloughed worker.
You were off for a DAY! And I read in the local paper about someone bitching about this because many state workers live paycheck to paycheck. Well whose fucking fault is that?
11 p.m.
• So I was listening to an archived Dennis Miller radio show from earlier this week, and he had a few callers talk about their days working at a GM/Chrysler/etc. plant, where the unions don’t care what goes on as long as you pay your dues. Were these callers really ex-Big Labor workers? Who knows. But my favorite was this chick who said, “I was the first manager at Chrysler, err, I mean a major automotive plant.” Oh, that was smooth. She said “Big plant” once more, then Miller said, “Was it Chrysler.” Great delivery – made me laugh out loud.
Later on in the afternoon I was listening to a local RIGHT-WING RADIO host who was taking calls from some PISSED OFF people because their government schools were going to be invaded by some city folk. Here’s the story in more detail.
Part of me feels for these people who are about to have more students go to their school. Duquesne is a shit hole, and I’m sure these students will drag down the quality of the other two schools they populate, even though I’m not sure how good West Mifflin and East Allegheny are regarding academics. I'm sure people who call these detractors "RACISTS" would do the same thing if a similar event would take place in their township. However, this is what happens when your child is enrolled in a government school. The show's highlight was some kid who was reading from a piece of paper about something-or-other about this issue to the host. The host asked, “are you reading off a piece of paper?” The caller said no, which prompted the host to say, “it sounds like you’re reading something to me.” The caller responded, “It’s all from the brain,” then made that “Ptttth" noise you make with your tongue before hanging up the phone. It’s times like this when I love local radio.
Speaking of talk radio, the other day some caller to Mark Madden’s show suggested that the Pens top draft pick (some center) should be the starting center while Sidney Crosby, the league MVP, moves over to a wing position. Did I mention that sometimes there is nothing funnier than local talk radio? And what’s on the horizon – Steelers training camp. Time to over-analyze every training camp drill and keep track of which players drink the most Gatorade.
10:30 p.m.
• Shit. This is the sort of thing that gives local governments more money from Uncle Sam.
Speaking of managing money, I just found out today that the "miscellaneous" part of my department's budget includes the ink cartridges I order for my office printer. What's odd about this? Every other ink cartridge in our organization gets paid for out of the general office supply budget. I don't think my "So am I going to be billed for the paper, pens and paper clips I use?" didn't help matters much. Then again, I'm not allowed to spend any money in my budget anyway, and neither is my poor co-worker, who got the third degree for a recent business trip when he dared to put down hotel and fuel costs on an expense report.
10 p.m.
• So the better half was arguing with me over the meaning of “hot” when it comes to describing someone’s attractiveness. She contended that “hot” meant, in guy speak, “I sure want to fuck that chick,” adding that words like “pretty,” “attractive,” and “good-looking” mean that the male doesn’t want to stick his thingy in the stink box as much. After pondering this for a few seconds, I had to disagree. I always considered “hot” to be a general slang term. Now if a guy says any of the other terms, I would contend that person wants to have sex even more because he actually took the time to think of these more descriptive words. You can say that anyone is “hot,” but to take the time and tell a woman that they are “pretty” or “attractive” seemed to get the panties wetter faster. Then again, you can just get them drunk and wait until they pass out and not have to worry about any of this.
• The fact this guy is a University of Cincy student doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
I remember applying for a number of UC jobs during my time in Ohio, and each time I was given an Authoritve Blacktion card to let them know what race I was. After sending in a few of these, I decided to just start filling in other races other than the mighty whitey category. I wonder if they HR people actually believed an Eskimo was applying for work at their institution.
3:30 p.m.
• So a while back I applied for this one job that I never heard back from except for when I got the “Your resume is impressive but you suck” letter. In fact, it came so long after I applied, it took me a while to remember when I first sent my resume out. A few months later (my rejection letter came around late February/early March), I noticed in the newspaper that the same job was advertised again (this was sometime in April). I chuckled to myself figuring the “ideal candidate” they picked didn’t work out. I looked through the classifieds last night and guess what I read? Yep. The same place looking for the same position. Now either this place is expanding at such a rapid rate they need to triple the staff for this position or they are such a clusterfuck to work for that the turnover rate is just as bad as the Houston Texans (or whoever led the league in this category last year). Sometimes the job you get passed over for is the best thing that could ever happen.
7:30 p.m.
• Christ, like I don’t stay home enough already – just got off the phone with the Comcast guy for this package deal. For the past year I’ve had this $100/month deal (fuck this $99.99 shit) where I got Digital Cable, Internet and phone service all under the Comcast umbrella. This deal expires tomorrow and I was eligible for a Digital Premier Bundle for $160/month. I will now be getting all the HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, TMC, Encore and Starz channels, along with an upgraded tier of digital channels and a DVR. Now I really don’t care that much about getting premium channels – when Mrs. kkk and I moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003, we took this special offer from Comcast where we got Digital Cable and some premium channels for a cheap price for six months. Once this expired we cancelled the digital service and went on with life. What made me take this service is that the aforementioned $100/month deal is ending and the normal cost for this stuff is somewhere around $120/month – why not do an extra $40 and get all this other stuff. Remember, it’s not so much being a Jew with your money but rather the kind of value you get.
4:15 p.m.
• So with this being third full season where I’ve been mowing the yard, I’m actually surprised to learn that I don’t mind doing this shit during the summer months. I thought the spring/fall seasons would be more acceptable to me because I hate humidity. However, the summer months also features a dry lawn, which makes cutting so much more easier than when my grass-killing contraption clogs up with damp grass every 10 feet of mowing.
• I read this in the paper today and just had to share the best parts
5:45 p.m.
• Ohs Nos.
Here's my question. Why would Home Depot take any MoveOn protest seriously? That would be like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse buckling under PETA pressure because its members threaten not to go there for dinner because Sean Hannity pimps the eatery on his radio show. Yeah, Home Depot, cave in to the group that wants to live in grass huts.
• An update on dead neighbors. That guy who I thought was dead a while back is still kicking. I recently saw his television on at 6 a.m. while getting into the car for my morning work commute. However, my next-door neighbor's (the wife of the deceased groundhog killer, for those keeping score at home) cat died. Hey, that kitty was 16 years old and had more energy than my three combined. No complaints about its time on this earth.
• When this story first broke I put my head in the sand. Now hear my warning. Any more articles that begin with...
...will result in me hunting down the so-called journalist that would write this and kill them. That's all.
3 p.m.
• OK, now this is depressing. Late last year I spoke with my former high school teacher after 13 years since my graduation. Turns out some of her students were working on this publication and I assisted her with some things. I just received the book today, and goddamn was this an impressive effort. After a first look-thorough I saw a few faux pas, but nothing serious –– mostly just little inconsistencies that only I would notice. Overall, this was an excellent product, and it made me think back to when I was in high school and my academic achievement –– or lack thereof. Hell, this is the same teacher who once called a work of mine in my 11th grade creative writing contest the most “bigoted thing she’s ever read” and “garbage.” What is this poem you ask? Well, if you remember TSM’s “Get Your Learn On” Folder, you’ll probably remember the poem in question. But it’s now 3 p.m. and time to go home. Developing…
7:30 a.m.
• So the last few years whenever I mowed the lawn I’d bag the clippings and store them in the backyard shed until garbage day, when I’d transport them to the curb. The problem with this is that many times I forgot about them and they would stay in the shed for weeks at a time, depending on the next time I mowed the lawn, opened the shed, and said “shit.” This year I’m trying something different. Instead of the shed, I’m putting the bags in the garage. This way I see them almost every day and I won’t forget about them. There’s only one downside to this: the grass aroma can leave a bit of a stink. However, the minuses outweigh the pluses, in my opinion. Of course, Mrs. kkk doesn’t agree with this and has bitched since the start of the mowing season this year. To shut her up, I went back to putting them in the shed. With all that said, here’s a conversation of our trip to work today.
“Did you take the grass bags from the shed for the garbage?”
“Shit. I forgot.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I mowed the lawn last Saturday and forgot.”
“When did you start putting them back in the shed?”
“Because you kept bitching about the bags being in the garage.”
Wedded bliss.
6 p.m.
• So I was playing around on IMDB and found this post in a thread titled "Things you learnt from watching this movie?" for the "Wolf Creek" message board. Well, it made me laugh. Oh, yeah. Spoilers and stuff.
10 a.m.
• Finally got around to seeing Peter Jackson’s “King Kong.” That’s why you get for messing around with them white girls.
• Here is the conclusion to my 3 p.m. entry yesterday about that poem I wrote which got me in a heap of trouble in 11th grade. The class had to write a “senses” poem in a “question and answer” format. Basically, you had to write a line in the form of a question that dealt with one of the five senses – taste, touch, smell, sight and hearing. After each line you had to have a “yes” or “no” answer. After 10 lines of this shit you had to do a line in the form of a question and then the other in the form of an answer. Sounds stupid? You bet. I also found it funny that in a class called “creative writing” you had these draconian rules to follow whenever you wrote something, but I digress. Anyway, my hippie poem was about a couple walking on the beach, and I had stupid lines like,
“Will you look deep into my eyes while the moon reflects off the crashing waves?”
“Yes.”
…or some hippie shit like that. When I got to my last “sense” it dealt with the chick asking the guy if he’d hold her hand or something similar. Here’s how my last four lines went that got me in trouble. Remember, after this question and answer, I need to follow that up with another Q&A line.
“Will you hold my hand *blahblahblahhippieshit*.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I have no arms.”
There you have it. When my classmate, who was as big a slacker as I was, asked to read my poem (I wasn’t allowed to read this in class), the teacher stormed over to him, grabbed the sheet of paper, crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. Where’s the ACLU when you really need them?
I also had this woman for a public speaking class the year before, and that was some fun right there. There was one project where I was in a group of five and the assignment was this 20-minute panel debate over a topic of our choice. You needed two people on one side of the argument, two people on the other side and a moderator. Our group, which was made up of slackers just like me, picked “censorship.” My role was to be moderator. We had several class periods to work on this project, and all we did was sit there and bullshit. After a few days, we realized that we had nothing done so we worked on an “intro.” By “intro” I’m not talking about opening remarks. No. We were going to pretend this was a late-night talk show and we were thinking up ways to introduce the program. We were the last group to do our presentation, and the four-five groups before were made up of actual students who cared about their academic achievement. After the first day when the first two groups did their presentations, we suddenly realized we were in a world of shit. The day before our presentation, I frantically tried to make an outline of who was going to say what about our topic, which was about Free Speech Rights. On the morning of the big debate, we got ready for our intro, which we spent all of our class time preparing. And just what did we do?
*Person 1 turns off the lights to the room*
“Person 2 plays tape recorder with a voice saying, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Late Night with KKK.’ Suddenly the Looney Tunes theme comes on.”
*Persons 3 and 4 are across the room from each other and swirling flashlights around while theme plays.*
*Person 4 (me) moves up to the front. When the theme stops playing, Person 1 turns the lights back on and Person 2 plays the tape of crickets chirping.*
Judging from the look on our teacher’s face, this didn’t go over as well as we had hoped.
As bad as this was, our actual presentation was even worse. Instead of following the script of Person 1 on the pro-free speech side giving their spiel with Person 1 on the anti-free speech side retorting, it just a free-for-all. And with me as the moderator, I had no clue what the hell everybody was going to say next. Ironically, I had put the most work into this thing (which isn’t saying much mind you) and I got the worst grade out of the five of us. But that was nothing when compared to the next project. The same five of us had to do a “interrogation-type” project where each of us had to be a “prosecutor” and a “defendant” regarding another topic. This project’s topic was obscenity laws. The only thing I remember about this was one person grilling the other and the following ensued.
“Person A, you claim some cartoons today are ‘obscene.’”
“Yes.”
“What about the cartoons of generations before? Were they as bad?”
“No.”
“How about Walt Disney? Were they ‘obscene.’”
“No.”
“How about Donald Duck?”
“No.”
“Even though he has no pants?”
Yes, that was the HIGHLIGHT. After we were done, our teacher blasted us for at least 5 minutes about how we didn’t follow any of the rules of the assignment among other things. I don’t remember much of what she said because I was too busy trying to hold in my laughter. But this incidents weren’t as memorable as the public speaking class I told while I was in college. Developing...
8:30 p.m.
• So the better half returned the call of the matriarch of the test-tube welfare family and guess what Mrs. kkk was asked? If that abandoned house across the street from us was on the market.
Oh hell no.
Long story short. Many moons ago, the people who lived in that house died. The family of the deceased never wanted to sell it; however, they never bothered to keep up with maintenance. From what I heard, the furniture and shit is still in there. I’m sure it wouldn’t be a bad little house, but it’s going to need a good deal of work. That being said, there’s not fucking way I want those people living across the street from me. Mrs. Test Tube told the better half that she wants to move from the shithole of a house they bought two years ago and live somewhere in our school district, which is better than the one she’s at now. OK, if you wanted to live in a certain school district, when you already had two kids popped out from your snatch, WHY DID YOU PEOPLE BUY A HOUSE IN A DIFFERENT SCHOOL DISTRICT?!?! Jesus tap dancing Christ are these people pathetic. What’s funny is that if any houses are selling on my street they will be going for at least twice the amount of the house the test-tube welfare family currently live in – and these people can’t even keep up with their $300/month mortgage as-is. Not only that, but they will now have to sell the piece-of-shit house they are currently living in, and I bet they’ll be lucky to find a buyer, let alone try to break even on the sale. I swear to Christ I can’t stay around these people for more than five minutes without the urge to take a brick to the side of their collective heads.
2:30 p.m.
• So Drudge had the following link headline to an article about Chief Justice John Roberts' fall:
Now is the foam from his fall or because the High Court is going to be taking up some more affirmative action/gay marriage/abortion cases?
• So I've been hearing about this for a while now and just had to post this hilarity. You may have seen these ads pimping some government health-care program for "the children" called SCHIP (pronounced "chip" whenever I hear it).
Oh, no. And this from the state of DICK CHENEY~! How could anybody be against giving "the children" health-care coverage?
So does this mean if a 22-year old SCHIP recipient kills someone they could be tried as a youth?
1 p.m.
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). Well, it’s not really the call per se, but rather the flashback I got when hearing this guy ask if he did the right thing. Long story short: His aunt is a mega-bitch and neither he nor his soon-to-be better half talk to her. There was some other history, too, but I wasn’t paying that close attention. They decided not to invite the aunt. This pissed off the guy’s mom, who said she no longer wants to be part of the wedding party and does not want to be introduced as his mother. The guy said “OK.” He wanted to know if he was in the right. Both Dr. Laura and I agree that he was. However, what inspired me to write this couple of hundred words was that when it came time for my wedding RSVP guest cards to come trickling in two years ago, I was hoping for quite a few people to say they couldn’t make my special day where the chain around my ankle gets clamped down for good. This way, I had an reason never to deal with them again for the rest of my life. That’s why I don’t visit the test-tube welfare family that I’ve talked about in the past here. However, I still have to attend that Memorial Day outing because that aunt showed up. Sonofabitch. Oh well, at least I have an excuse to ignore my two cousins from my idiot mother’s side for my remaining days. Woo-hoo!
10 a.m.
• Just heard on the radio that Robin Roberts has breast cancer. I remember watching her and Bob Ley on ESPN's Sunday SportsCenter back in the early 1990s. She's moved onto a network morning anchoring gig, and, although she's a commie and part of the mainstreamliberalpress, I always had a soft spot for her when thinking back to my formative years and remembering her talk about the day's sports headlines. Thank God she doesn't have to talk about "Who's Now" or any of that other shit going on now at that place. The first thing that comes to mind when hearing Roberts' name is this annual report ESPN does every year about some college football player crippling some other player in the South and how the one athlete visits the other's grave each year. At the end of this report, Roberts was trying to hold back her tears, and was doing a poor job at it. Nothing to be ashamed over. The radio update said the cancer was detected early, so you go, girlfriend.
8:15 a.m.
• So I'm listening to Monday's Dennis Miller radio show, and at the end of the first hour this caller Bob from New York is calling Dennis a puppet for the RIGHT-WING and that he's getting paid by the usual suspects, etc. Dennis asks him why he's so angry, and Bob just starts bitching with the usual you-get-paid-by-Bush talking points. Bob calls again during the second hour and says Dennis can't tell how anyone can be "angry" by just a phone call, or something like that.
"I'm going to suggest, Dennis, that you do not have the abilty to infer how angry I or anybody is from the words they say..."
"Bob, bye-bye. You're the first caller I cut off in four months. You know why? You're an idiot. Don't call back."
Funny stuff.
6:30 p.m.
• So I thought the worst was over today for my afternoon commute. I pick up Mrs. kkk in Shittsburgh, and this week all the pseudo-hippie college students come back to the big city. Traffic sucks for this week, but it wasn’t all that bad. Until today. Forty fucking minutes to move a mile or two from the Parkway to my exit. There was one positive though. Despite the several signs telling “thru traffic” to stay away from the right-hand lane, which was where the back up was occurring, there were people who stayed in the lane thinking there was congestion on the Parkway’s three lanes. It’s funny to see the faces on these motorists and the looks of disgust they give when they figure out that they spent the last 10 minutes idling for no reason because the right lane is full of college students trying to get off the Parkway. Then there are the bitches who try to cut in line. No dice, pal. That’s always fun to do, too. I’m laid-back when letting people in, but not in these instances. It’s assholes like these people which add 10 minutes to my 30-minute wait in the car. Fuck that. Thank God I'm taking Friday off so I only have to put up with this shit for one more day this week.
• Huh, Goldblum grew up around here. That's all I got.
Ha.
Is this a movie or something? I only skimmed through; the fact the article said it was going to be on Starz Cinema -- the hippie channel -- was all I needed to know. That and Starz Cinema is showing that movie thing about the Dixie Terrorists. Starz also has a "black" channel where all it shows is "Glory Road."
• Forget the fact that millions upon millions of tax money was spent on other things than bridge repairs -- it was PIGEON SHIT that did the structure in.
• I heard this on "Around the Horn" today.
OMG the NFL makes money off of beer ads/sales. So fucking what? I understand the point about fans getting drunk at games, but it has been years since I've attended a pro football game so I don't know if there is a "cut off" point where booze sales cease.
• And the point of this would be what?
I would put money on the T-Rex every time. And not only do you need to outrun the Tyrannosaurus, but you would have to do so enough to be out of chomping distance.
3 p.m.
• So this morning when my lunch cooler fell on the ground, splitting one of the yogurt cups inside, I said “fuck.” When my cell phone hit the road as I went to deal with said cooler (all while in the rain) I said “s’gonna be a bad day, tater.” I was right. I discovered this morning that the publication I produce was going to have an extra 600+ readers. After some digging, I discovered this was due to a computer error regarding some sort of update in our customer database that I was never made aware of. Oh was this a fun morning. At least when I went to explain the problem to the powers-that-be, there was nothing they could bitch about considering it was their fault we’ll be paying several hundred dollars more for this mailing than we should.
• N*gga plz.
• Remember that story a while back about these three teens getting robbed and killed in Newark, N.J. – yeah, I know, which crime; it’s Newark, after all. Turns out one of killers is an invader.
I guess he needed some quick money in-between the 20 jobs he works. They’re here in this country for jobs, after all.
9:45 p.m.
• Well, today was “mow the lawn” day. It stopped being humid and I decided to take advantage of the situation. This was also the first time all year I bothered to crank up the ol’ BBQ. Holy fuck do my grills need cleaning. I know all that gunk makes the food more flavorful, but these things resemble stalactites more than ashy flavor-enhancers. Wait a minute: Is stalactites the ones that hang from the top of something, or is that stalagmites? Whatever, you get the idea.
• Hey, another story about how the South has the most fat people.
But this is what made me laugh.
What the fuck – Obesity policies? How exactly is there a “policy” for obesity? And all this time I thought it was people’s choices that made them fat. You know, the bad food, the laziness, the bad food. Can’t wait to see how Big Brother will try to make us all a little smaller. What they ought to do is treat fatties more like smokers and jack up premiums for those that break a sweat waddling to the nearby refrigerator for a between-commercials snack. Don’t like it? Then get on a treadmill.
2 p.m.
• Oh dear God. (Here's the
Sad thing if she went straight from high school into the workforce she'd make more as some exec's eye candy than I do at my job. Actually, she's probably a very smart girl. I think there's a good chance she got spooked for being in front of a national television audience and I think we're all being a bit mean to her. Why am I defending her? I heard she was 18 and figured I might have a chance to get this ditz on her knees, or better yet on all fours, and not get arrested. Because I'm sensitive like that.
• Sure I could talk about the Vick case, but why bother when you have this?
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This chick called in to complain about her lesser half’s small business, which doesn’t make any profit. The “nursery” brings in just enough money to keep the business running – that’s it. When asked what this man did before to support himself, the caller’s response was “he lives with his mother.” And that’s where this couple is living at this moment.
10:30 p.m.
• Zoo for you.
Translation: Some horse fucked an idiot to death. And when it was discovered that it’s legal to frolic with a barnyard animals in Washington, Larry Craig said, “Damn, I should have been a senator one state over.”
Oh, and did you know there is a Roadhouse 2 out there? From IMDB's trivia section:
My guess is that the script had Dalton V2.0 not cerebral enough.
10 p.m.
• So today we took JJ to the vet, which he wasn’t very happy about. Now whenever one of the kids has a vet appointment, we try to sit in a secluded area of the waiting room. Today we weren’t able to get “our spot” and had to sit with other people and pets. Now one trick I do which seems to work is when we’re situated, I open the door to their carrier. This way they aren’t “confined” but rather able to roam but choose not to due to the fact they are scared shitless because they are away from home. Actually, I do this more for my sanity because when that door is closed Dessa, JJ and Max won’t stop crying. Well, I noticed something rather stupid on this trip. We were sitting across from this lady with a golden retriever. Nothing major. Then this woman comes in with her cat and sits, in a near-empty waiting room, RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOG. The dog goes over to check out the carrier and the cat flips out, causing must bewilderment to the cat’s owner.
After we got JJ’s meds and took him back home, Mrs. kkk and I went shopping for some stuff. We stopped at Wendy’s for lunch, but the better half didn’t want to wait in line seeing how there were 10-12 people already in front of us. No big deal, I thought, for this reason: there weren’t any children. This is key. Why?
1) Some parents want their kids to order for themselves, much to the chagrin of the poor cashier who can’t understand what the brat is trying to say. The mom and dad think it’s cute. Fuck them. There’s other people waiting in line.
2) Kids get kid’s meals. When I worked fast-food I HATED these fucking things. Not only were many of the smaller portions more difficult to fill (Oh those small McDonald’s fry bags. Grrr.) but if you had to put together a box, those bastards would never fold right.
3) Most times when getting a family’s order together, the kids would be out of control, and the money transaction and getting these people out of line would be a pain in the ass because the parents could never effectively handle their end of the situation.
Turns out my theory was correct, for the most part. The line went rather smoothly, except for the old people that were complaining about something or other. Old people are a toss up. If there’s a gray-hair in line by himself, you might be in trouble because his conversation with the cashier might be his only human interaction for the entire day. Hey, grandpa, I don’t care if your family hates you. Shut the fuck up and go sit in your corner table where you look at everyone and wonder what happened to your measly existence. Now if the old person is with family, you might get away with minimal waiting. The only danger in this scenario would be if the old person has finished bothering the kids/grandkids and turns onto an employee with inane chitchat. Fortunately, this day wasn’t any of these cases.
On the way home we stopped at Kmart to get some cleaning supplies and charcoal. The cleaning supplies weren’t difficult to find, but I was having some difficulty getting charcoal. I asked this one employee who told me to go to customer service. I went to customer service and they told me to go to layaway (?). I went to layaway and they had this look of confusion as to why I would be directed to this part of the store. I shrugged and let her know the name of the CSR who passed the buck. After I got back with Mrs. kkk at the rendezvous point, she noted that she saw an empty shelf where the charcoal would have been all along. I figured as such. From my experiences, Kmart isn’t known for its ample supply of sale items. Ha, I remember back during my Middletown days this only lady flipping out because some advertised item was out of stock. This was around the time the big K announced bankruptcy, and this chick was screaming, “I hope you people go out of business!” No offense, but if you’re that devastated about not being able to get something from Kmart, then you got some issues. Then again, this is coming from the same person who once wished cancer on a bagboy so I’ll put down my briquette before I toss it through my glass front door.
10 a.m.
• I love it when libs in the States whine about how we should be more like those little socialist utopias in Europe. The government tax system. The government health care. The government transportation. The government immigration policy.
12:15 p.m.
• I read about this in the ESPN sucks thread, but I just saw the first video teaser for this shit.
I wonder if some black kid just came up to Tom Jackson and ask if he could, someday, have his own NFL Countdown segment. I knew that running gag would eventually have some sort of payoff other than the hilarity it brings every time I use it.
8:30 a.m.
• Spoilerz 'n stuff ahead: I was in the mood to watch some shit yesterday, so I went into my OnDemand/DVR library and pulled out a few time-fillers. One was the "Hills Have Eyes 2." Not the crappy remake sequel. The crappy sequel to the first one made in the '70s. As I was watching this shit-fest, I wondered torward the end where the heck Ruby was. No way she could have died just from falling down and hitting her head on a rock. Yeah, I know in real life someone can actually die from that, but this is the f'n movies! People had their throats slashed, backs broken and harpoons shot through them. Falling five feet onto some hippie rock, especially since she was a carry-over from the first movie, is soooooo weak. Sadly, after going to IMDB, it appears that this is how she went out. Gay. At least the dog lived. I think Beast should get his (or is it her?) own spin-off.
Before watching this, I gave "Return of the Living Dead II" a look-see. I couldn't remember if I saw this one years ago or the first one. All I remember about that one is "Send... more... paramedics" and that the place gets nuked in the end. I have to say that I really liked this one. There's something to be said when a film knows its stupid and has fun with it. And Doc has been placed unusually high for a first-time viewing on my list of "characters I like." Great character.
I don't know what's worse: The fact I have to do 10 more of these or the fact I've already done 92 of them. Who's left? Who's gong to be placed where? Oh the drama...
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 10: Jobber of the Week
What I like about Jobber is that even though he’s for oodles of commie shit, he tends to be more sensible when the socialist utopias (or Michael Savage fans) creep up in his neighborhood. I wouldn’t consider Jobber a limousine liberal because a limo lib would want everyone to drive on solar-powered cars with lawn-mower engines while they fly around on private jets to and from trans-Atlantic weekend getaways. Jobber just doesn’t want the invaders to get driver’s licenses. And if he would be as fiscally responsible in Congress as he says he is at TSM, then I wouldn’t mind if some of his treasonous ideas got through the cracks. Besides, he has posted many a picture that was worth 1,000 posts. This would be the point where I bust out the “Tecmo Bowl’d” graphic, but sadly it’s no more.
6:15 p.m.
• Uh-oh. Didn't we learn anything from the Mohammad cartoons from a while back?
Translation.
* Boy, what is your name?
- My name is Babu.
* It is customary to mention Muhammed before the name.
* What is your father’s name?
- Muhammed Abu
* What’s this in your lap?
- Muhammed cat
You know who really gets pissed when stuff like this happens? Yep.
Jihads for everybody.
6 p.m.
• Oh boy. Time for another crack-whore sister-in-law story. For those not keeping score at home, thanks to a lifetime of doing drugs and abusing alcohol, the crack-whore is now collecting disability and getting free health care, courtesy of our tax dollars. A few nights ago, the crack-whore visits my mother-in-law’s workplace begging for $50 so she can get a sling for her arm, which supposedly had something wrong with it. The mother-in-law kicks her out. The next day, the crack-whore comes in, her arm in a sling, and begs for $50 because her and her boyfriend need gas for the car. When the question of “I thought you needed $50 yesterday for a sling,” came up, the crack-whore’s one remaining brain cell went into overload. And the best thing about all this – she’s in her 40s~!
So the next time some left-wing faggot in Congress starts whining about DRACONIAN cuts against the POOR, just remember: If we don’t keep pouring more money into this Great Society of our, my crack-whore sister-in-law will be sling-less.
7:30 a.m.
• So I get lots of spam at work, and if I'm not being given sales pitches to claim millions in Nigeria then I am being told how I can enlarge my penis. I've shown some of these ads in the past, but once in a while you get a headline/message that's just as funny. Here's one from this morning:
7 p.m.
• Oh for Christ's sake, they're going to be dead soon anyway. Let them enjoy their snacks.
“No, Mrs. Johnson. Don’t eat that pastry – we want you to live another 10 years just so we can change that many more diapers.”
Funny story: whenever my grandma was still alive (dad's side) and still had her wits about her, my old man would always sneak candy in for her. Hell, she had no teeth -- a piece of chocolate would keep her busy for hours.
12:30 p.m.
• More wedded bliss. It’s getting to be that time of year when the air conditioner and windows alternate. If it’s humid out, the AC comes on. If no, then we open all the windows. One problem is if the windows are open overnight, it could get hella cold in the morning, much to the chagrin of Mrs. kkk. When it gets time for bed, she always tells me to close the windows to the second floor of our house. I don’t know how this equates into a cold house, but whatever. Anyway, she bitched about it being cold this morning and that I didn’t close the upstairs windows (I didn’t). I then commented to her that our two bedroom windows were wide open. Surely THAT could have contributed somewhat to our chilly living quarters.
• Oh God. James Brown on the CBS pre-game NFL show just did this mini-editorial about how we all don't know what it's like to be Donovan McNabb until we've walked a mile in his shoes, or some shit like that. He added something about having an open dialogue with this shit. You all should know my opinion on this matter by now, so it's not worth rehashing it again.
• Speaking of racial harmony.
10 p.m.
• Earlier today I went clothes shopping at Kohl's.The last time I bought more than one article of clothing at a time was several years ago, so I don’t do this often. However, I think I may start stopping in more often after having paid a visit to the clearance rack. I wanted to get a new interview outfit (or two), and I did at a great discount. I don’t consider myself a finicky shopper, but when it comes to clothes I really don’t like going anywhere else but Kohl’s or Sears. The brands comfortably fit and are worth the price once a sale starts up. Two dress pants, two belts, two dress shirts and a dress shirt/tie combo – about $115 total with a retail markup savings of $160. I’m sure all this actually cost about $5 to produce, but whatever. Like I said before, it fits and the quality is good.
Afterward, we got a new comforter for Mrs. kkk – at 30 percent off of course ($70 down from $100). She then asks me the question of the week, “Will this comforter be warm enough for you?” Uh, you’re the one that always bitches about being too cold. She then asked what size we should get – the king or queen. Having no clue what size we currently use, she said that the one currently on our be is a king, even though our bed is a queen size. I then opted for the king comforter. Christ, we fight over the covers enough as is – actually, it’s not much of a fight as it is her trying to push/loosen my grip on blankets during the middle of the night. I can’t imagine what carnage a smaller comforter would produce.
5 p.m.
• So yesterday I was driving home on the parkway and this truck was in front of me. The truck had some pipes/wood planks/something tied to the roof. Didn’t look too stable. Because of this I gave the truck some space between us. I was hoping this way in case something flew off at me I’d have enough time to react and get out of the way. Well, the driver behind me did the “OMG WTF” gesture. What is wrong with people. It’s not like I was going 30 mph. I was still going just over the speed limit – there was just a car length or two between me and this truck. I would have been more than happy to let this person go between us, and I would laugh when one of the planks flew threw his windshield and crushed his larynx.
7 a.m.
• So on the drive to work this morning I drove behind this care with the bumper sticker "I miss Clinton." Hey, I give credit where it's due –– it got a laugh out of me. However, I think the laugh was less about that bumper sticker than the new, catchy bumper sticker slogan I had just then thought up in my mind.
"I missed Clinton" with a sniper's scope replacing the dotted i's.
Then again, seeing how this family threatens to sue people that hang their daughter's picture up in a restaurant...
... if I actually produced this kind of ingenius hilarity and you don't read any new entries from me in a while, check for me at Ft. Marcy Park.
10 p.m.
• This is why I didn't major in math.
9 p.m.
• The hell's wrong with people.
• So I guess the lesson here is if you bust black people breaking the law, you're a RACIST.
4:30 p.m.
• Gee, you can’t tell this dipshit used to be a high-ranking politician.
Jimmy Carter flexing his muscles. Weird.
• So I was listening to Mike and Mike this morning, and the skinny Jew was bitching about the MLB playoff games being on TBS because that means some kid whose family didn’t have cable couldn’t watch the games on television. That’s what a radio is for. Besides, I remember a few years ago there was bitching about the games being on too many stations – FX, some family channel, TBS (I think). So shut the fuck up already. Having today’s games on TBS is fine. And if some poor family can’t afford cable, they should be working more anyway. Poor people piss me off.
10:15 p.m.
• So I had the Pitt/Navy game on for a bit tonight. My God how does Lou Holtz have a broadcasting job? And how can executives listen to him and think, "yeah, people would want to hear this"? He could get shit-faced before going on-air and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. How could his players take anything he said seriously?
7 p.m.
• You know what got me irked about Matt Leinart? His whining about not playing quarterback full-time. I’m sure it’s an ego thing and shit, but Kurt Warner was playing better than you; be thankful you were in a situation where you had a teammate that didn’t mind splitting time with his inferior (at least this is how it seemed outside of the locker room).
Aw, too bad.
• I’m not a Yankee hater, but can we focus on the teams still in contention for a World Series championship?
• See, who cares about all this SCHIP contraversery? It’s not like the little bastards are getting decent care anyway.
You know what this means ... FREEGOVERNMENTHEALTHCARE.
Wait a second, what's this in the next paragraph?
• Speaking of losers, my crack-whore niece-in-law tried offing herself again this past weekend. Then again, telling her boyfriend-of-the-month via text that she took a bunch of sleeping pills probably isn’t the best way to fade out into a permanent slumber. God, just die already.
9:30 p.m.
• This was a rather long article, but I can sum it up with two lines.
9:15 p.m.
• So I heard this today and got the thinking...
...I wonder how many Democrat men wouldn't vote for a woman president of their political party? Or, better yet, a candidate of color?
7:30 p.m.
• Can somebody please tell me the status of Joe Torre and the Yankees? Will he be back? Have the Yankees offered him a contract? I've been watching ESPN all afternoon and they haven't said a peep. What’s the point of having cable when they don’t give you any updates on important stuff like this?
5 p.m.
• LOL.
I'm a little bummed Max Baucus signed it because to me he has seemed to be a Democrat with some common sense. And it's nice to see Junior's sig on there, too. I'm surprised Crazy Arlen didn't take part.
10 a.m.
• Oh God. So I'm listening to this hatchet job ESPN is doing on the RACIST Delaware program and it's the typical PC bullshit that ESPN can produce oh so well. Long story short, the white school doesn't want to play the black school and they're near each other. Uh, oh. RACISM~! Wait a second. These two schools play each other in other sports, which was glossed over in this report. Uh.... OK. Now there must be other reasons, right? No, it must be...
RACISM~!
Say, Penn State no longer wants to play Pitt in football. Pitt is in an urban area while State College is white as snow. What does this mean? JoPa is a, all together now...
RACIST~!
• Time for this week's pickkks:
Atlanta @ Carolina (4.5)
Have I mentioned that I really hate the Panthers? When I pick them to lose they win. When I pick them to win/cover they stink up the joint. I'm expecting a 30-point blowout.
(3.5) Buffalo @ Miami
Miami has to win SOMETIME, don't they?
Cleveland @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
Yeah, because picking against the Steelers when they have a near double-digit spread works out so well for me. Pittsburgh will score 27
Denver @ Kansas City (3.5)
Gag. I know I'll be wrong either way I go. If I go with Denver, they will show me how bad they really are. If I go with Kansas City, Denver will show me theyr aren't as bad as I really think they are. I'll go with the Chiefs with that whole "bad Denver running defense" thing.
Jacksonville @ Tennessee (4.5)
Crap. Both quarterbacks don't look good on paper (is Gerard sitll out?), but I'll go with the Titans anyway. And big deal regarding Vince Young's "Super Bowl" comments a while back. What do you want him to say? "Maybe we'll reach .500 this year -- how's that, guys?" Can't nobody tell Vince Young nothing what he can't do.
Minnesota @ Green Bay (6.5)
The Packers beat the Vikings at Minnesota. I'll go with Green Bay again.
Philadelphia @ Washington (3.5)
I loved the talk this week about how McNabb's is getting blamed too much for the Eagles' woes.
St. Louis @ New Orleans (11.5)
I'll ride the Saints' jock until they crap out.
Cincinnati @ Baltimore (4.5)
Hmm, I don't know where to go with this one. Oh what the hell, I'll go with the Bengals
(3.5) Chicago @ Oakland
That Hester guy will score on a return and the Bears will win 7-0.
(1.5) Dallas @ N.Y. Giants
I don't care for the Va-Giants. Go Cowboys.
Detroit @ Arizona (1.5)
From what I seen of the Lions schedule, they better win this one because it's going to get tougher.
(3.5) Indianapolis @ San Diego
I think Indy will rebound from last night's SUPER BOWL 41 1/2 loss.
San Francisco @ Seattle (10.5)
Man, whatever team gets to play Seattle in the second round of the playoffs (Seattle will win its first-round home game), will be like getting a two-week bye.
9:30 a.m.
• AHAHAHAHA. I just heard an "Outside the Lines" teaser about why Delaware won't play Delaware State in football. "One school is made up of white students. The other is black." Gee, I wonder what's coming up? Do I even need to answer this one?
8 p.m.
• Hmmm, when the better half went to get tickets for Hannah Montana's Shittsburgh show, she wasn't able to order them on-line. Then again, she wasn't in the super-secret club that this article mentions. However, there was a bit of a local brouhaha because it seemed people dumb devoted enough to sign up for that super-secret club weren't able to get tickets either. I blame the Bush Administration.
And for the record, Mrs. kkk was trying to get the tickets for her one niece.
7:15 p.m.
• Well I hope he at least got one big time-out.
Speaking of "kids," remember that invader who ran off to Mexico with his teacher? Peep this.
So wait a second. I thought 13-year-old boys were just getting their mack on with female teachers that they boink. Now they're "victims" of "sex crimes"? Which is it?
9 p.m.
• Yet another reason why I don’t want kids. The other day while talking about Swift Terror’s latest download, I made some remark to the better half about keeping kkk Jr. in his crib out in the living room while I played Madden. Her response, “I’d be OK with that.” Oh hell no we’re not having kids.
• Fuck this shit. Blast away, po-pos.
I’m so sick of hearing this shit about “OMG HE DIDN’T HAVE A GUN WHY DID YOU SHOOT?” Don’t want to get shot? When the cops show up and tell you to get on the ground, do that. I know it’s crazy, but try it.
9:15 p.m.
• So I’m in a bit of a predicament. A week or so ago I got the James Bond DVDs – all four volumes – and finally got around to opening them up and checking them for quality and all that other stuff. I noticed that in two of the 20 disc cases that some of those little prong thingys are busted off and “Goldeneye” seems to have a noticeable ding. Now do I go back and get these discs exchanged? I don’t buy used DVDs because I don’t trust the viewing quality. CDs and video games are fine. If a used CD has a skipped track, then I just move to the next song. If a movie has a similar malfunction then the whole viewing experience is gone. However, this is America. The land of rugged individualism. It’s not like I didn’t actually pay retail price for these movies. Besides, I fast-forwarded through “Goldeneye” last night and everything was fine. I also moved the two discs from the busted prong holders and put each one on the other prong thingy in each disc case. I don’t really watch special features anyway, so if there was going to be any damage done it would be to those discs.
Now my biggest problem is to decide whether or not to watch these movies in chronological order or by the order in which they are place in each of these four volumes followed by “Casino Royals.” What a quandary. Good thing I don’t have anything else to fret about.
• Peep this.
What I find funny is the dateline to this story: Detroit. Then I read the next paragraph.
Woo-hoo – hometown representin’.
• I was flipping channels tonight and saw that I had the OMGFAUXBIGBIZNESSCHANNELLOL2007~! Whatever. Then I saw who was on -- my n*gga Dave Ramsey. I guess he does an hourlong show 8-9 p.m. Cool beans. I'm gonig to have to remember this is on.
Could you see these bureaucrats trying to tell Muslims or other freedom-haters that they can't burn Old Gloy due to pollution concerns?
9 p.m.
• So one of my many unfunny running gags is the “one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male” quips I occasionally do around here. Could another one of these lines be “global warming causes fill-in-the-blank.”
• I heard this story on the radio today and had to roll my eyes.
I wonder why? How about because those that don’t pull all-nighters have already STUDIED and actually took the time to LEARN? I remember in college I transferred my credits from a community college to a four-year institution. Even though all my credits transferred, there were a few “intro” classes I had to sit through. So there I was, one of the few “upper classmen” in a room full of freshmen (and women, wouldn’t want to offend anyone). I was an oddball because I actually completed my midterm assignment early and actually turned in my work a few days before it was due. However, I remember hearing a few of my younger classmates talk to one another on the day this paper was due and bragging about how late they stayed up the night before to complete this assignment. A week or two later I heard these same people complain about the grade they got. One of my favorite lines was, “This isn’t fair. Do you know how long I worked on this?”
Oh, and want to know the source of this survey?
One-hundred twenty students? Good God.
Agreed. Plus you are in such a rush that you don’t really accomplish anything. Whenever I’m working on a project, I never turn it in on the same day I produce the material. Unless I’m given something on the same day it’s due, I’ll always complete an assignment, leave for the day and look over it the next day. Works for me.
11:59 p.m.
• Just when I thought Bryant Gumbel couldn't get any worse. During the Steeler game, Willie Parker got hurt bad on the second play for Pittsburgh. When it was announced that he broke his fibula, one of Gumbel's first thoughts were, "Now that means Fred Taylor will FINALLY get into a pro-bowl game." Jesus Christ, man, the guy just broke his leg. Can't we wait until later in the game to talk about this sort of thing? And don't think I'm saying this because Parker is a Steeler. Bryant also pissed me off a few weeks ago when he made an ass of himself during a Thursday-night Redskins game. The NFL Network ought to be glad they aren't on any "mainstram" cable packages, because the production value of its NFL games leaves MUCH to be desired.
8 p.m.
• (7.5) Pittsburgh @ St. Louis. The Steelers are slumping and the Rams are probably playing better than their record shows. The Black and Gold will score 27.
