7 p.m.
• Yeah, baby. I just checked my bank account today and my $1200 tax rebate check got deposited a few days ago. Now I'm going to go and...
...not do a damn thing with it.
8:30 p.m.
• Remember last season when the Pirates TRADED for THIS?
Well, guess what.
Stabilize a young rotation? So that's what the company line is for this? And people wonder why I don't bother with this team. That may change sometime this year if my friend from Ohio visits and wants to take in a Bucs game. Fuck.
9 p.m.
• So I finally saw that Jeff Gordon video where his car gets pelted with beer after winning some race that put him past the late Dale Earnhardt in the wins total, or something like that.
Holy crap was that funny. I’ve said before I’m not a NASCAR fan, so I don’t know shit about caution flags, points or changing tires in 4 seconds. Back in the late 1990s when I worked third shift at a yearbook publishing center in Sappy Valley, a few people around me would always talk NASCAR. Of course I had no idea what they were fighting about, but one thing I took from their heated debates was that you were either a Gordon fan or an Earnhardt fan. If that’s the case, I probably would be in the Earnhardt camp. But like I said above, that video was hilarious. Good job, Alabama. For some reason the first thought to pop into my head after seeing this was that faux commercial South Park did a while back titled “Alabama Man.”
• In keeping up with the San Fran theme from the 1:30 p.m. entry, here's another story that was conceived in this city.
Nonpartisan my ass. None of those six e-cards went with my submission, which was "Think of all the money you just saved on clothes, food and college tuition." When someone has a living being sucked out of them, you need them to focus on the positive.
Oh I sense future government intervention on this one forcing Big Greeting Card to sell something for this kind of occasion. What do you want Hallmark to do -- have these cards on the rack next to the "newborn," or "baby's first birthday" offerings?
1:30 p.m.
• So San Fran's tops for pets. I'm sure there's a gerbil/hamster joke to be made here, but I'm above such juvenile tomfoolery.
Seattle and Portland I understand, but DC?! I guess they only shoot humans, not pets. Actually, the amount of respect I have for Washington has just increased.
8:15 p.m.
• Time for another pic of the kids.
It's Max. There are pumpkins on the coffee table. Max is on the coffee table. That's all I got. Interestingly enough, JJ is terrified of pumpkins, and when we get them every October he flees in terror. *shrug*
8 p.m.
• I’ve always said that bitches will be the death of you.
Reading this story reminded me of an instance in high school where this one guy named James dated this Rachel chick for a while. I guess you could say they were the pre-goth crowd, although they weren’t nearly as “extreme” as the all-white/black hair and make-up freaks are today. I’d classify them more as “alternatives.” How far in-between the evolution scale are we talking about regarding Goths and alternatives? If we were going by the dinosaur scale, here’s how it would go.
If Goths are Triceratopses…
... then James and Rachel would have been Protoceratopses.
.
Get it? Got it? Good.
Anyway, for one reason or another Rachel dumped James. And what did James do? He went to the wall where he painted “Rachel + James” and removed the vertical line so that it read “Rachel – James.” Was pretty funny, actually.
6 p.m.
• Regardless of what you think of Don Imus’ “nappy headed hos” remark regarding the women’s Rutgers college basketball team, this is probably the funniest thing to come out the whole ordeal.
Poo-Face wants “lines drawn” in regards to media speech? The same race-baiting poverty pimp that got a $345,000 defamation suit against him for what he said regarding the Tawana Brawley hoax? The same race-baiting poverty pimp that did the following back in 1995?
You’re good, Poo-Face. Real good. No go have your wife feed you lots of eggs and butter so you can die early like many black men do, of heart disease. Well, that’s how I feel. Oh, dear. Did I say something RACIST? No, I’m just quoting Julianne Malveaux, a black female columnist, and what she said about Clarance Thomas back in the day.
5 p.m.
• So this is what keeps me going. I had a chat with my one former co-worker earlier today, and he says that the person hired to replace me is totally screwing things up. Remember those monthly projects I always spent weekends performing, which I always finished by the 18th of each month? Well, the n00b was hired the first day or two of March and has not yet FINISHED March's project and probably won't for AT LEAST two more weeks.
• Tonight marks the start of the NHL playoffs. Might as well get these predictions over with:
East
Montreal Canadiens (1) v Boston Bruins (8)
Still trying to figure out how Montreal got the top East spot. It might help if I paid attention to the games. Habs in 5.
Pittsburgh Penguins (2) v Ottawa Senators (7)
Last year the Sens took care of the Pens in quick fashion. This year it's payback. Pens in 6.
Washington Capitals (3) v Philadelphia Flyers (6)
The Caps have that guy with the O and a really long last name. However, I think the Flyers will goon him to submission. Flyers in 6.
New Jersey Devils (4) v New York Rangers (5)
How many time do these two play each other. Devils in 5.
*******************************************8
Montreal Canadiens (1) v Philadelphia Flyers (6)
The Flyers can goon one man, but they can't goon them all. Habs in 5.
Pittsburgh Penguins (2) v New Jersey Devils (4)
The playoffs are when a goalie can shut down an entire team. However, it's time for Marty to break down. Pens in 6.
*******************************************
Montreal Canadiens (1) v Pittsburgh Penguins (2)
Oh what the hell, I'll go with the homer pick. Pens in 7.
West
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Nashville Predators (8)
I remember getting burned by Nashville last year. Fuck 'em. Wings in 5.
San Jose Sharks (2) v Calgary Flames (7)
How about we go with San Jose winning in 6.
Minnesota Wild (3) v Colorado Avalanche (6)
I'll guess this series will have the most overtimes. Don't know why. Wild in 6.
Anaheim Ducks (4) v Dallas Stars (5)
I don't see the Stars getting out of the first round anymore. Ducks in 5.
*******************************************
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Anaheim Ducks (4)
Detroit tends to choke, but I ame getting the feeling that this year they won't. Wings in 5.
San Jose Sharks (2) v Minnesota Wild (3)
Yikes, I've picked all favorites so far. Wild in 7.
*******************************************
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Minnesota Wild (3)
Steve Yzerman retired, right? Wings in 5.
Stanley Cup
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Pittsburgh Penguins (2)
I'm not that big a homer. Wings in 5.
As I was reading the comments from yesterday’s entry, I was suddenly getting flashbacks to my youth and all the hours I wasted playing video games. Bah, I actually don’t consider that time wasted. Going to school, doing homework, doing required community service in order to graduate high school – now that was a waste.
Although I had a decent variety of Sega Genesis games, I was mostly drawn to the sports-related genre. Below is a trip down memory lane featuring my favorite games of that era from the early-to-mid-1990s. I should note that there aren’t any baseball games below -- no offense to the baseball lovers out there.
#3 Lakers vs. Celtics and the NBA PLayoffs
It’s not the prettiest game out there, and the computer A.I. left something to be desired (my favorite “glitch” was with the Bulls and how Michael Jordan rarely took a shot). Also, you only got to pick from eight teams: Celtics, Pistons, 76ers, Bulls, Lakers, Suns, Spurs and Trailblazers. Despite all these flaws, if you had a few friends over, this was a fun game to play, or at least it was for me. The big feature in this game was the “signature move” one superstar on each team had. From Barkley’s gorilla dunk that started beyond the free-throw line to Magic’s no-look finger roll, these moves were the shizzle back in a time where the shizzle was not even a fizzle. Then there was the ultimate in cheese: the Tom Chambers double-pump dunk that you couldn’t stop no matter what. Next year's version (Bulls vs. Lakers) included more teams and an attempt at improved graphics, but there was something missing from that game which Lakers vs. Celtics had; God knows what it was, though. Oh, another thing I liked about the game was that everytime you scored the sideline coach would cheer, along with some players on the bench; if you missed a shot or turned the ball over, the coach would freak (hey, when it's 2 a.m. and you're running on fumes and Pepsi, a lot of things seem funny at the time).
#2 NHL ‘94
When Electronic Arts came out with NHL Hockey in the early 1990s, my neighborhood found a new favorite game to waste away on. Several of us had enjoyed the Nintendo Entertainment System’s Blades of Steel and that Ice Hockey game where you had teams consisting of fat, regular and thin players. But when NHL Hockey came out, this took hockey gaming to a new level for us. One thing I remember about this game was that for the longest time we thought the player whose jersey was “07” for the Los Angeles Kings was Luc Robitaille, when in fact it was someone else. (Thomas Sandstrom?) Anyway, the next year’s installment (NHL ’93) wasn’t as good and there were many days in which my friends and I chose to play the previous year’s version. However, when NHL ’94 came out, the first two NHL games were shelved forever. What made ’94 great was that it went back to game play more similar to NHL Hockey than NHL Hockey ’93. In addition, one-timers and penalty shots were introduced, there were more stats available for viewing, and players went on “hot” and “cold” streaks. But the greatest addition of all was being able to control your goalie. In the first two games there were certain type of shots that the A.I. goalie couldn’t stop no matter what, so whenever someone was lined up in a certain way it was pretty automatic that there was going to be a goal no matter what you tried to do on defense. That was no longer a concern with ’94; all you had to do was hold down the select button and you could be the Patrick Roy of your block. Out of all the sports games I played during my teen years, this by far the most competitive and exciting contests. Many games I engaged with other kids from my neighborhood in 2-1 or 4-3 affairs, and sometimes we actually had to take a break before playing the next game because we were emotionally spent.
#1 John Madden ‘93
A few years ago I went into an Electronics Boutique to purchase the newly released Madden ’03 game. Apparently, EB had teamed up with the ESPN brand of football games, and when I brought my purchase up to the counter, the clerk, who was wearing a 2k3 button, tried to change my mind about my choice of game. I responded by saying “Getting me to buy ESPN football over Madden would be like trying to get a four-time FDR voter to cast a ballot for Dewey in ’48.” For those that don’t follow political history, this line meant I have been raised on Madden football all my life and I will never switch brand loyalty (one of the few instances, along with Miracle Whip and Heinz Ketchup, that I will not use price or some other factor in my purchasing decision). I mentioned in a comment entry from yesterday’s thread that I had no desire to purchase Madden ’06, but that doesn’t mean I won’t ever purchase a future Madden game; it just means I’m content with the ’05 version. Anyway, my friends and I played our fair share of the original John Madden football game for the Genesis, which only had 16 unlicensed teams; let’s see if I can remember them all: In the NFC there was San Fran, Chicago, New York, Washington, Philadelphia, Minnesota, Los Angeles and Atlanta. In the AFC there was Miami, Buffalo, New England, Shittsburgh, Cincinnati, Houston (the Oilers, not the Texans, you youngins), Kansas City and Denver. The funny thing about these teams was that at the start of every game you could check out each franchise’s strengths and weaknesses. Now although they didn’t have specific athletes, each team was molded in its real-life counterpart. For example, although Philadelphia had a nasty defense and a really agile quarterback *coughRandallCunninghamcough* they had next-to-nothing when it came to receivers and running backs. And of course Denver had this certain “Golden-Armed Golden Boy.”
Anyway, after this game came Madden ’92, which featured every NFL team at the time. Although the graphics were better, much like my experiences mentioned above, there was something missing with this “new and improved” version. Thankfully, whatever it was missing Madden ’93 found. I can’t begin to count all the nights I spent beating my friends at this game. Sadly, although I enjoyed this game, a number of my acquaintances didn’t. So unlike NHL ’94, I had a much smaller pool of human competition to choose from. I can also say that I have never been defeated at this game. The last time I was “challenged” at this game was in ’95. My opponent picked Denver, and I went with one of my favorite teams for that game: the San Diego Chargers. The Bolts didn’t have a great quarterback or core of receivers, and their defense was so-so at best. What I loved about this team was that their trio of running backs was, collectively, the best in the game, and this enabled me to have a field day with my play selections. I was up by at least 21 come halftime, and the game was forfeited sometime early in the fourth quarter.
However, there was something else about this game that I remember. In Madden ’92 there was a new feature in which two players could play on the same team instead of playing against each other. This “teammates” function was in place for ’93, and the wording of this feature in the ’93 instruction booklet was the same as ’92, except for one paragraph at the end of its section. Here it is word-for-word: “When one player is dissatisified or upset with the play of his teammate, there is no need to argue. For example, if the player controlling the quarterback and the play-calling is making a lot of unwise decisions, both players should discuss the problems and come to an agreement – perhaps pause the game and decide together which play to run next. It’s okay to be angry, but don’t let your anger get the best of you, and never resort to violence.” I’m all but certain that this language was put into the ’93 guidebook because some soccer mom called to complain when her kids fought over this issue in the ’92 version of the game.
Another thing about Madden ’93 was that there was this “collector’s edition” which instead of having all current teams, went old-school and used more than 30 teams from the past, from the ’66 Packers to the ’90 Buffalo Bills. I paid nearly $100 for this game, and to this day I don’t regret the purchase because this was by far the most-played game I ever had for my Genesis. Also, the next year Madden football went to a new look and style; I never accepted these “improved” versions of Madden and it wasn't until the PS2 started producing games that I really felt the thrill of playing football on a video game console again.
So there you have it. Sure these three selections haven’t really stood the test of time, but there will always be a special place in my heart for this trio of games. And because I own PS2 versions of Madden ’05 and NHL ’06, with each of these games offering a “retro” option that allows me to play these games in a ’93 and ’94 look, respectively, I can always relive a bit of my younger days whenever I want.
• I love local news, and not in a good way. While Medium-Large Media have their own agenda and chose to ignore stories that don’t have to deal with Abu Ghrab and Halliburton, the more local stations focus on the good stuff, like cops catching some kids peeing in a water supply. A local story in my neck of the woods (although Drudge has since picked it up on his site) deals with this 10-year old who is protesting, with her parents’ consent, over getting “picked on” by school administrators for wearing mini-skirts to class. Of course, with this added attention, I’m sure it will just lure in some of her male classmates to oogle her without knowing why they’re doing so. And of course if something happens to her, like a when group of boys trying to look up her dress at the bottom of a stairwell, her parents will be the first ones bitching to the school about this inappropriate behavior.
Well I see this sort of thing isn't just limited to my neck of the woods. Maybe if parents cared about the quality of education their kids were receiving as they did with the local school's dress code, we as a country might fare better in those academic competitions where we always get beat by those dang Asians.
• As of this writing it looks like the Pirates are still be winless this year, leaving them and the Phillies the only teams without a victory so far this season. And while this team sucks on the field, their marketing department is even worse; then again it’s not like they have much to work with. This year’s slogan/campaign is “We will…” Before the season started, these two words were followed up by words like “Persevere,” “Fight” and “Not give up.” I’m sure there are a few more descriptive words that can follow “We will,” but the ones I’m thinking of don’t portray the team in an all-too positive light.
• I was eating an Eggo waffle this morning and something caught my eye when looking at its nutrition information. According to the Eggo box, one waffle is 100 calories while two waffles are 190 calories – huh? I guess if you eat three waffles then it’s only 270 calories. Going by this math, I guess once you get waffle numbers 11-12 you are home free; I'm sure your carb count will probably leave something to be desired though.
• I finished my first year of franchise mode in Madden ’05, and one thing I like almost as much as playing the games are the various off-season tasks to do, especially scouting and drafting rookies. This off-season had no significant departures from my team, save for Jerome Bettis who was pissy because I wasn’t starting him. So going into this draft, my only real need was to have a power back. I did some scouting, and when it came time for me to make a selection I was torn between a few running backs and a tight end that would really come in handy. The problem for me was that the tight end was projected to go in the second round and the several running backs available were projected to go in the first round, meaning the backs would probably end up with slightly better ability stats. There was some concern with drafting any of these first-round backs though, because I had some doubts about any of these them being high in the “break tackle” category, which is what I was really looking for, and the tight end had some excellent combine stats and a full slate of positive reviews. I bit the bullet and picked the tight end, figuring a decent back would be available next round (there were a few backs I had my eye on that were projected to go in the second round, and the tight end pool in this draft was really shallow; the tight end I was eying up was the highest projected player at his position). I bit the bullet and selected the tight end, and after selecting him got treated to a chorus of boos, meaning my fans weren't too thrilled with the pick. However, after I signed him to a contract, his stats were revealed: 78 overall, which was higher than either of my current tight ends and an excellent score for a drafted rookie. I’ve done a few pre-season games so far in the new year and I’m taking a real liking this guy. Although I still don’t have a “power back,” (my highest rating in this category among my three half backs and two full backs is in the low 80s) I’ll take this tight end over any of the rookie backs that were recently drafted.
6:30 p.m.
• I’m not a huge golf fan, but I don’t hate on the sport. In fact, whenever one of the “big” tournaments is on I watch some of it if I’m in the mood. I just had the Masters on and Tiger Woods hit his second shot on Hole 17 into a sand trap. CBS’ audio picked up him saying, “Honestly, what the hell just happened.” LOL. I love Tiger.
And that Zach guy who is probably going to win this year said to a reporter guy that Jesus was with him out there with him today. Right. It’s Easter Sunday and Jesus decided to hang out with you on the golf course.
4:30 p.m.
• The NHL is wrapping up, and that means its second season, the Stanley Cup playoffs, will be starting soon. The cool thing about the NHL playoffs is that it seems anything can happen, and many times it does. Unlike, in my opinion, the NBA playoffs, just about any seeded team can make a serious run. Take for example the Edmonton Oilers last year. After almost not getting into the postseason, the number-eight seed came within one game of winning the Stanley Cup. Below are the last seven seasons and the NHL’s Stanley Cup Finals matchups. The bracket numbers are the seedings of each team.
2005-2006: Hurricanes (2) d. Oilers (8) 4-3
2004-2005: ------------
2003-2004: Lightning (1) d. Flames (6) 4-3
2002-2003: Devils (2) d. Ducks (7) 4-3
2001-2002: Wings (1) d. Hurricanes (3) 4-1
2000-2001: Avalanche (1) d. Devils (1) 4-3
1999-2000: Devils (4) d. Dallas (2) 4-2
Below are the NBA Finals matchups during this same span.
2005-2006: Heat (2) d. Mavericks (4) 4-2
2004-2005: Spurs (2) d. Pistons (2) 4-3
2003-2004: Pistons (3) d. Lakers (2) 4-1
2002-2003: Spurs (1) d. Nets (2) 4-2
2001-2002: Lakers (3) d. Nets (1) 4-2
2000-2001: Lakers (2) d. 76ers (1) 4-1
1999-2000: Lakers (1) d. Pacers (1) 4-2
How many top seeds in each league made it to the finals of their respective sport: NBA 5, NHL 4.
Number two seeds: NBA 6, NHL 3.
Number three seeds: NBA 2, NHL 1.
Number four seeds: NBA 1, NHL 1.
Number five-eight seeds: NBA 0, NHL 3.
Eh, that doesn’t really validate my point. Let’s see what other numbers I can manipulate. I know, let’s see how many upsets were in each round of playoff competition during this time. Because the NHL didn’t play during the 2004-2005 season, I’m discounting that year’s NBA playoffs, too. (In that year there was a 3/6 seed upset, a 4/5 seed upset and two second- and third-round upsets.
First-round upsets:
8s defeating 1s: NBA 0, NHL 3
7s defeating 2s: NBA 0, NHL 7
6s defeating 3s: NBA 3, NHL 4
5s defeating 4s: NBA 4, NHL 2
Second- and Third-round upsets: NBA 14, NHL, 12
Total upsets in First, Second and Third rounds: NBA 21, NHL 28.
I still don’t know if this validates what I said above, but it’s interesting nevertheless -- especially since there have been more first-round 1/8 upsets than 4/5s in the NHL.
9 p.m.
• So this past weekend I had to get my driver’s license renewed. Actually, I forgot all about this until I went to rent a car for my recent business trip. The rent-a-car guy took one look at my license and noted that I had a few days before it expired. Oops. This of course meant it was time to go to the DMV. Woo-hoo.
As I entered this public works cornucopia there was the “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” I was number 56. They were serving some number in the low 40s. The time was 10:14 a.m. and the ticket stated that there would be “an estimated 14 minute wait.”
…
At 10:50 a.m. my number was finally called. And the only way I was able to get served so “early” was because a half dozen people didn’t respond when their numbers were up. I think what burns me up the most in these situations is that while it takes other people 20 minutes to perform such feats as check into a hotel, pay for groceries or order stamps at the post office, when I get up to the counter my transaction lasts about 30 seconds. And of course this time was no exception.
An estimated 14-minute wait turned out to be 45 minutes. I sure can’t wait until we get government health care – you think the lines are long now at the doctor’s office. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Before I leave this entry, I also have to relay the story of the two people sitting behind me who didn’t realize there was a “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” They sat behind us for a good 20 minutes before realizing that the names being called out were for people who already had their photos taken and were being called up to receive their ID. The fact these people are allowed to vote sometimes scare the hell out of me.
• I’ve told my Madeline story before at TSM, but this article brought back memories of my employment at the theater, which also happened to be a member of the National Amusements family.
One afternoon I was working the afternoon cashier shift. I think it was a holiday of some sort (Memorial Day if I had to guess), and this usually means the early afternoon shows would be overrun with children. However, I was working the cashier position, so my dealing with juveniles was kept to a minimum. I could tell though that there were a lot of kids, and many of them were to see this Madeline movie. If you don’t know who Madeline is, it’s a set of books about some girl who lives at a finishing school (the movie had her as an orphan) and gets into all these wacky adventures with the other children. I’ve never heard of this character, but I guess it was popular among certain sects of kids, so who am I to judge. Anyway, I noticed that there were quite a number of children dressed up as characters from the books...
...and I even saw some camera flashes going off. Everything seemed normal enough, but when I ventured out into the lobby for my 2 p.m. break I knew something was wrong because my co-workers had a “I can’t believe what just happened” look on all of their faces. I approached one and asked what happened. Turns out our manager had accidentally played the wrong reel of film in one of our theaters.
Let me elaborate a bit. Many times at my former place of employment we would show two movies in a theater during the course of a day. Generally, if we had a movie that was geared specifically toward kids (Air Bud, Mr. Magoo, etc.) they would be played for the 1 p.m., 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. shows, while the evening times would feature a more adult-oriented film. Well, the auditorium playing Madeline was one such example. Madeline was to be shown for the afternoon times with another movie for the 7 p.m., 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. times. Turns out our manager inserted a reel for the evening film rather than the Madeline reel. And just what did an auditorium full of children watch for the first 5-10 minutes?
Yep.
According to the one usher, a man came out of the Madeline theater and said “Is someone supposed to be peeing in Madeline?” (I haven’t seen the first part of Baseketball, so I’m not sure if this is indeed what happens in the opening of this movie. Nevertheless, that's what I was told.) And, if memory serves, that showing of Madeline was a near-to-complete sell-out. Nice.
10 a.m.
• So last week I took a business trip to Buffalo. Wow. Just wow. First off, I stayed at the Hyatt Regency downtown, and after I got everything settled I decided to take a trip outside. Big mistake. Just about every single building within a several block radius was boarded up or vacant. The only two exceptions to this were the Chinese takeout place, which looked to be on its last leg, and the welfare office. And another thing: what is up with all the black people? I get that this was “downtown,” but I wasn’t expecting to be accosted every other block by some person asking for change. I almost forgot, there was a CVS store, but they closed up shop before 6 p.m. Man, no wonder people are so miserable in the Northeast.
9 p.m.
• Wow. That's a bitch.
I guess beggers can't be choosers if you're waiting for a new set of lungs, but still.
What the hell is wrong with motorists? There’s a reason I drive like an old man – because someone has to prevent accidents. I was making my usual commute to work this morning and I came to an exit where I noticed this car in that striped area that can be found between a highway and an exit. It was obvious that the person was going to get off that exit but then realized that he was taking the wrong exit and was waiting to get back on the highway. Fair enough. Now the lane I was in is the only lane that takes me to an upcoming exit I need to get on, and because I try to prepare myself for situations that I fear might take place, I did a quick glance over at the other lane just in case this dipshit was going to try and pull out in front of me. I do this sort of thing many times because you never know when you’ll have to take evasive action one of these days.
Today was one of those days.
This asshole just drives out in front of me, forcing me to swerve into the other lane. I laid on my horn, rolled the window down, and called him every name in the book. For the rest of the quality time we spent together I kept the horn on; I also got behind him and gave him the high-beam treatment. When he got off on the exit before mine, I thought the rest of my commute would be smooth sailing. Boy was I wrong.
While on the next leg of my voyage to work a few minutes later, I had another fun incident. There’s this shitty merge ramp that motorists don’t bother yielding at, and this is why I normally stay in the middle of the three lanes that are available to me in this area. This morning was no exception, but apparently it wasn’t enough for this asshole. Once he merged from his road onto my road he then proceeded to move into the center lane – right where I was. I had to slam on my breaks, causing the “loose traction” light to come on. My reaction was pretty much the same to this asshole as the first one, although I wasn’t able to get behind him and flash the high beams. Instead I just laid on the horn while driving next to him for the next 4-5 miles. Had I known the better half left her plastic juice cup in the car with me when I dropped her off at work, I would have thrown the goddamn thing at his car, hoping that it would have crashed through the passenger’s window.
I know it’s funny to hear me say I’m a defensive driver only to go batshit a few sentences later, but I can’t help it. However, I don’t consider this to be road rage. To me road rage is screaming and swearing because someone in front of you is only going 15 mph above the speed limit and you want to go 40. To me road rage is throwing a fit because the car in front of you is observing the flashing 15 mph lights of a school zone. To me road rage is throwing a temper tantrum because every stoplight isn’t green for your entire drive home from work. I don’t have road rage; what I have instead is motorist rage – the road has nothing to do with it. This is like when someone says I’m not a “people person.” Oh, I’m a “people person;” I’m just not a “stupid people person.”
When someone shows zero disregard for the safety of other motorists by being too fucking lazy to check their blind spot before changing lanes, I consider it more than appropriate to blast the horn and give them the middle finger, along with a few choice words. I could have been seriously hurt in either of these accidents this morning – am I supposed to go “That’s OK”? Fuck that shit. If you’re going to be an asshole, so will I; and let me say that there’s nothing quite like laying on the horn while following one of these people through traffic. I don’t understand why more people don’t practice this behavior – just giving a hippie “beep” for a few seconds is nothing. Follow the bastard in and out of lanes while your “HONK” is going full tilt. Who knows, maybe you’ll freak that person out enough that they will drive more carefully for the next week or so.
When Mrs. kkk and I began our courtship, she never really saw me pissed off. Then there was that lady who almost plowed into us. Here’s the scene: I was in the Shittburgh city limits (around the Civic Arena for those keeping score at home). I was in the left lane and had my turn signal on for several seconds before merging into the right lane. Suddenly this bitch in a SUV behind me swerved over into the right lane without giving any notice, almost crashing into us. There was no need for her to do this; I wasn’t driving slow and there was a decent amount of traffic, so if she was looking to speed she was shit out of luck. Well, I let the cunt pass, and then I got on her ass with the horn full tilt. She went in and out of several lanes trying to avoid me, but to no avail. I even went past my exit just to let this bitch know she cut off the wrong person. I think the best part of this was every lane she merged into while I was behind her she had her blinker on. As I drove past her on the exit she got off I said something about killing her (or maybe her children, I can’t remember) and turned to the better half, who by this time was stepping on the imaginary brake in the passenger’s side while onto the nearby door handle, white knuckles and all.
Accidents happen all the time – it’s a fact of life. If I’m in a Wal-Mart parking lot, I act like ever car driving through the lot doesn’t know I’m there. There have been a few times when I saw some motorist not pay attention to the road for whatever reason and I’ll just stop my car and let them go through. It’s actually amusing to watch them turn to my direction, see that a motorist is there and have that look of panic when they don’t yet realize I’m not driving toward them. I can deal with this because busy parking lots are difficult to maneuver through. However, when you’re doing speeds of 60+ mph, my tolerance for carelessness is all but nil. I’ll probably end up killed in one of these incidents, but at least I know I wasn’t the one who committed the traffic violation.
• Over at the other place LessoninMachismo made the following remark concerning my recent b-day. “Happy birthday to kkk, who is weighing his options: Is a FREE piece of cake and/or scoop of ice cream worth having eight jackasses in red polos singing to you in front of a restaurant full of strangers?” It’s true that I’m a cheap bastard, but even I have my limits. Like I told him over there, when the better half and I began our courtship we agreed on two things that I think are imperative for any relationship to succeed. Forget all that hippie fidelity, love and other mushy shit, we agreed on much more important matters. The first was if we were ever to be married we agreed not to shove wedding cake in each other’s faces at the wedding reception. The second was under NO CIRCUMSTANCES were we to let any of those cookie-cutter chain restaurants know if it was the other person’s birthday. I’m sorry, but if Nicole would have let the staff of Applebee’s know of O.J.’s birthday one night they were dining there I would have acquitted The Juice in a New York minute. Fortunately, neither one of us has broken our word on these two promises we made to each other years ago.
• Jimmy Rollins of the Phillies is making a run at Joe DiMaggio’s consecutive hit record. The problem is he’s doing it over the course of two seasons (the end of last season and the start of this season), while DiMaggio had his 56-game streak take place over the course of one season. The question now is if Rollins can reach, or even surpass, DiMaggio’s record, should it count? I’ve heard that it won’t, but I figure what the heck; to me it seems harder to end one season with a 30-game hit streak (or whatever Rollins had at the time) and start the next season with a 30-game hit streak. If the Baseball Gods want to put an asterisk by Rollins’ record, that’s fine, too. This just in: Rollins’ streak is over. Oh well. I’m still keeping this paragraph.
• Well Eminem and ex/current/recent/whatever-the-hell-she-is-now wife have called it splitsville, again. I guess that’s what you get when you say on a record you’re going to kill the bitch and dump her corpse in a river and don’t follow through.
• For the weekend of March 31-April 2, Larry the Cable Guy’s movie made as much money as did Sharon Stone’s Basic Instinct sequel ($3.2 million each). The sad thing is I’m not sure which moviegoer got the better deal.
• For all you commies out there that bitch whenever you find out how much a CEO makes, this should be right up your alley. Coke is now paying executives for actual performance, rather than just throwing them into a pool of money. I never really cared how much CEO’s make, although I do have a bit of a problem when a company pays some dipshit for running the business into the ground. There’s a difference between that and a CEO who takes charge of a company slated to lose $100 million in the next fiscal year, but due to his new policies/etc. the company only loses $10 million and gets on the path for financial profit. Pay the man in that instance. But don’t reward incompetence, which is was U.S. Air did with years of upper management figureheads that did nothing but screw up the company even more over the years, which eventually helped cause that airline to go belly-up.
8:30 p.m.
• Due to popular demand (Read: one person) asking for additional pics of the kids, here we go:
This one features JJ guarding the computer desk. Featured in this photo are a Godzilla cup holder from Taco Bell back in the 1990s when they tried to give Godzilla a make-over. Being how I am Godzilla > King Kong, I actually looked forward to the movie at the time until I actually watched it at the theater. Even though I didn't like what they did with my favorite lizard, I'm not going to badmouth it as much as some other people do. They tried something different. It flopped. I moved on. Also featured is some pre-paid cell phone that I haven't re-added minutes to in several years and has been disconnected. Why I got this as a birthday gift is beyond me. I don't get any calls on the land-line; why in the hell would I want to remember another phone number? Sorry, but I'm not paying $20 every three months for minutes just so I can call Mrs. kkk at the store to let her know her garlic-flavored pita shells are out of stock and to find out what other flavor she wants instead. Bitch, you'll get the plain flavor and like it.
Oh, and the sheets of paper above JJ on the shelf? Those are the score sheets I used for kkk Bowl IV. He's also plopped on a Madden '93 instruction manual for the Sega Genesis.
5:45 p.m.
• So I was watching Around the Horn today and the "Out of Bounds" segment featured a "serious" discussion on Imus' comments about the Rutgers women's basketball team. It was "serious" because no points were distributed. You know it's serious when that happens. So I waited with baited breath for Pardon the Interruption because I was sure there would be a segment talking about the same thing. I was right. Wilbon didn't disappoint with his "he's a bigot" talk (and I actually don't blame him on this one), but Kornhiser was a riot by defending him and saying that he used to appear on that radio show and how Imus brings in political figures like John McCain. Good thing Imus didn't say the sports media overhyped the Rutgers team because they wanted to see a team made up mostly of black players succeed, huh Tony?
2 p.m.
• Oh man, this story made for a fun ride home from work yesterday.
Better Half: “Did you hear that story of the signs that said ‘honk once for Jesus…’”
Me: “…and twice for Satan. Yeah. What about it? Guess how many times I would have honked?”
BH: “Twice.”
Me: “Yes, because I love Jesus twice as much as you do.”
BH: *Starts bitching about something that I can’t remember.*
Me: “What’s wrong with saying that you love Satan? Jesus said to love everyone.”
BH: “But Satan’s evil.”
Me: “So? Jesus said everyone. I think I just found a loophole in this whole Christianity thing.”
BH: “I hate you.”
Me. “But yet you married me. See, Jesus was right when he said you should love everyone.”
I’m just glad she didn’t counter with something like “'love' isn’t the same as 'marriage'” because then I would have had to concede the round.
1:45 p.m.
• I didn't bother reading the article, I just laughed at the headline.
Of course the Poor will suffer most. They're poor. We needed a report to make us aware of this? You know, with the amount of money spent to create this report, that loot could have went to the Poor. So I guess that the Poor have suffered the most from reading this Climate Report. Then again, they didn't actually read it because the Poor can't afford computers and Internet service.
12:15 p.m.
• Ah, nuts. I heard this story a while after it happened, so I'm sure the Billy Fudge-Packer jokes have already been spent.
If you PC homos want to get offended at someone, get offended at the dictionary. This reminds me of the great niggardly escapade that happened a while ago.
Why don't you bitches picket outside of Big Dictionary offices and demand to have these mean words stricken from the English language? Wait a second, I didn't know about this part. Continuing the Wikipedia entry from above.
So in this game of "Who is Offended More?" we have Gays vs. Blacks: the unstoppable force vs. the immovable object, the Beast of the East vs. the Best of the West. So I guess it's safe to say that Howard didn't fag out over the niggardly fiasco. Well, he may have fagged out later that night, but that's neither here nor there. And after all he went through I at least hope he got to be that evening's starting pitcher, unless he thinks it's better to receive than give.
• So the NCAA Women’s Final Four is over and done with. Go Maryland. Actually, I don’t care about women’s basketball on the collegiate level (or any other level for that matter), but if other people like watching it, and there's an audience for this market, then more power to them. I was watching some highlights this morning of the final game and something caught my eye. Schools have female cheerleaders for women’s sports? Odd. If I was a male athlete, I don’t know how I’d feel if every time I scored a basket a bunch of guys in matching outfits and pom poms sitting under the hoop would get up and dance around – not that there’s anything wrong with that mind you. Oh, and I am sincere when I say congratulations to Maryland for winning the women’s title – I don’t like college sports, but any team that beats Penn State or Duke is OK by me.
• Lovecraft is still waxing poetic on faux hippies, and he reminded me of a college experience. Back in 1998, before he became the first boss of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge was a Republican governor of Pennsylvania. Even though some of his critics, particularly the union crowd, dubbed him “One-Term Tom” he was for the most part a popular governor, and the Democrats really didn’t have anyone to go up against him for his re-election bid. The Democrats brought out some old guy by the name of Ivan Itkin who had no shot at beating Ridge. Itkin came to our school one night to do a taping for our student television crew, and I spoke with him afterward for an article in our school newspaper. He seemed like a nice guy, and although I had no intention of voting for him, I felt he genuinely believed what he was saying. Of course, this guy had no chance of winning; in fact, his campaign strategy was to go around in only a dozen or so counties pimping what he could do as the state's next governor. The problem was Pennsylvania has more than 60 counties. Granted some counties are bigger than others, but with a strategy like that, especially when your opponent is reasonably well-liked throughout the state, you are destined to lose.
After his television segment was over, and before I was about to talk with him, I was chatting with some blonde chick that was part of the student TV production crew. I was waiting for Itkin to arrive outside the studio, and she was waiting for a nearby elevator to come to our floor. For some reason she must have assumed I was a lib just like her because she began saying what a great guy Itkin was and how he’d make a great governor. Obviously, she hadn’t been reading up on current events, because even the more liberal media in the Shittburgh area were questioning Itkin’s chances of victory against Ridge. I had to break it to her that her guy had no shot of winning this election. When she asked why, I explained to her his pisspoor campaign strategy, lack of a war chest and the fact that the evil Republican governor wasn’t so bad, at least in the eyes of the Pennsylvania voters. At that moment she got a dejected look, the likes I have only seen in former blind dates when they realize that I’m the person they’re going to be spending an evening with, and said, “Oh, no. That means we’re going to have four more years of Governor Tom Ridge.” It was at that moment the elevator door opened, and as she walked into it and hit a floor button I said to her, “You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.” As the doors closed, you should have seen the look of fright and disgust on her face; you would have thought she had encountered the Anti-Christ, or, worse yet, George W. Bush.
• Oh, and for those who wondered what I did on my 30th birthday yesterday, here’s a quick rundown: Went to work, made a vet appointment for Max, who is having issues with going to the bathroom. Left work for a few hours to get him to an appointment slot that was available that day. (If you have a cat, particularly a male, who is struggling to urinate, get them checked out ASAP. Chances are it’s just a urinary tract infection, which is what Max has, but other times it could be more serious, and even life-threatening, as was the case with my in-law’s cat, who had his pee hole clogged up.) Went back to work. Ate at a ghetto all-you-can-eat pizza chain store called CiCi’s. (It’s one of those places I eat at every six months or so, and every time I do I swear I’m never going back. But then whenever I need to intake some more disgusting, greasy food I return and the cycle starts all over again.) Went grocery shopping (saved $40 off a $110 order for those keeping score at home). Picked up Max from the vet. Unloaded groceries. Laid in bed swearing that I’ll never go back to CiCi’s again. The End.
9 p.m.
• Now this is real fucked up...
...Imus is still alive?
8:30 p.m.
• I don't care what anyone says, this guy can coach my team anytime.
I wouldn't be looking for any work in the media or banking industries either, Mike.
2 p.m.
• Rush just said, "I believe half of what I see, none of what I hear." If you can't figure it out by now, then don't bother.
9:30 p.m.
• From this Web site's About Us section. The "Despises" section is great.
I'm so getting this shirt.
8 a.m.
• Do I really need to say anything else?
:lol:
:lol:
7:30 a.m.
• So there's a new SOMETHING-WING RADIO channel in Shittsburgh, and all I can say is alrighty then.
93.7 the Zone: Shittsburgh's MAN STATION.
Opie and Anthony 6-9 a.m.
John Steigerwald 9-10 a.m. (local guy who used to/may still write about sports)
Dennis Miller 10 a.m.-1 p.m.
John McIntire 1-4 p.m. (local liberal weenie)
Scott Paulsen 4-7 p.m. (local FM DJ)
Dave Dameshek 7-10 p.m. (No clue)
Loveline 10 p.m.-1 a.m.
John & Jeff 1-6 a.m.
Oh, yeah. This will be around long.
8 p.m.
Happy birthday to me…
So, as usual, at 1 p.m., two hours before my workday ends, I get a call from a co-worker informing me that I have 500+ quarterly annuity statements/envelopes to stuff. Jesus fucking Christ, all I ask is that I get some heads up on this shit. You know, assholes, I actually have a job to do and I *gasp* plan out my schedule of when I do stuff, unlike you dumbfucks. At my job’s last quarterly board of directors meeting, which I couldn’t attend due to granny’s funeral, a shit storm was raised when I included I my report all the fucking envelopes I was told to stuff, among other stupid tasks that I should not be doing. I wish I could have been there when several directors asked my idiot bosses why someone in my position was stuffing envelopes when I'm being paid to do other projects. Of course, when I came back to work I had a meeting to discuss this matter.
“In your report you said that you were ‘told’ to stuff envelopes.”
“Was ‘stuffing envelopes’ part of my job duties when I was hired?”
“No.”
“Then how would I otherwise go about stuffing envelopes at this place unless someone told me to do so?”
*crickets chirp*
Thank God I'm two floors away from these people.
Happy birthday to me…
So I picked up the better half from her job and went about our merry way home. Then there was the accident. From what I could make out, some van crashed into a car in this sorta-residential area. Three ambulances, four cop cars and a fire truck sealed off the usual way home, so we had to improvise with an alternate route. Problem is we had no idea where the hell we were going. When I get into these situations, I just drive around until I see something familiar. Man, I thought I was in hippie hell before. The part of Shittsburgh we drive through on the way home has “Books Not Bombs” and “John Kerry” bumper stickers on the back of cars. But now we were going even deeper into the belly of the beast, where bikeways ride alongside streets where liberal soccer moms drive their SUVs with bumper stickers that read, “My other car is a PAT bus.” Of course, we ended up in some construction area where two lanes of road become one, and 1+ mile of blocked off roads precede a 20-foot area where construction workers are standing around trying to look busy. Finally, some signs pointing us in the right direction were found and in what usually is an hour’s drive turned into two. All because some dickhead was not paying attention to where he or she was driving.
Happy birthday, kkk…
During this drive o’ fun, the better half was acting like a bitch. Now this is usual because whenever she gets lost driving she tenses up. Why she does this, I stopped trying to figure out. Then again, if you have to spend any additional time with me in a confined space, you might be a little anxious as well. After asking what her problem was for the umpteenth time, she finally said…
Happy birthday to me.
“Remember that prescription cough medicine I took? The asshole pharmacist didn’t bother to tell me it would mess with my birth control pills.”
Well today I turn the big 3-0. I normally don’t care about birthdays, but this one has affected me somewhat – it has for a few months now. When 2006 came around, I realized that I would be turning over a new digit on the left side of the age figure. This thought scared me, and not because I was closer to collecting a Social Security check that probably won’t be there for me anyway when I become eligible for it. I also wasn’t in crisis mode, wondering what happened to my life; I’m actually content in that aspect of my life for the most part. One thing that has been bugging me though is the fact I don’t have anything saved in the bank. When I graduated college I was 22 years old and started an unsuccessful attempt to get full-time employment in Sappy Valley. When I was 24 I was in Ohio doing the same thing all over again like I was in central Pennsylvania. I eventually found work, but it wasn’t full-time. Also, whenever I was able to save some money I had to bail the better half out of some financial trouble she got herself in while attending grad school. When we moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 I was 27 years of age, and after several months of looking for a job that had something to do with my college education, I began saving money for the first time in my life.
Then came the new house, which I had to pay out several thousand dollars in closing costs and other fees. Then came the new computer that had to be purchased because the old one died. Then came the vet bills for our one cat that got sick. Then came the wedding, of which I had to subsidize several thousand dollars to the better half because she didn’t realize how expensive the reception hall would be. She also didn’t realize that all the things I had mentioned above (including a few others not listed) I solely paid for because she didn’t have the money to pay off half of each of these costs and had put her half of these expenses on a “tab” she will never pay me back for.
My 20s came and went, and I realized that this past January. What hit me was I had always heard while growing up that if you put away a small amount of money each year while in your 20s you’d end up with $10,000,000 (or some other similar figure) by the time you turned 65. Well I can say goodbye to that. I spent the last 10 years moving from place to place, not being able to save a dime, and now a decade has passed with nothing to show for it but a few gray hairs and some accumulated wisdom. My debt load isn’t too bad – I owe $6,800 on a school loan I thought I would have already paid off when I graduated college back in ’98. When 2006 got under way, I wrote down a list of things I wanted to accomplish, and topping this list was paying off my debt and starting to save for the long term. If everything goes as planned, I’ll have the debt paid off sometime this summer, and then I’ll focus on saving.
But financial matters aren’t the only things concerning me. I tend to ache more when doing activities that wouldn’t have bothered me 5-10 years ago. When I see kids playing basketball, I think to myself, “Why would I waste energy shooting hoops when I’ve got a lawn to mow?” I’m listening to music that was around during my childhood-early 20s because newer material just doesn’t appeal to me. I would rather look at an attractive 40-year old than a 20-year old. I’m listening to rhetoric by political parties and able to remember years back when they had the opposite stance that same issue. I don’t mean to do these things; they are just coming natural to me. However, I must say that I’m fighting this getting old thing, or at least I’m picking the battles I know I can win. For example, I haven’t started bitching (much) about the cost of things now as opposed to 10-15 years ago (not even the cost of gasoline – taxes are another matter, however). I don’t say times today are worse off now than they ever have been (at least not until Democrats are in charge). And I don’t wear my pants up to my belly button (yet).
Rather than feeling the effects of aging another decade, I think this was a wake-up call letting me know that I’m an adult, and as an adult I better get my ass in gear with some areas of my life that I haven’t focused on as much as I should have over the years.
Then again, maybe turning 30 is the best thing to have happened to me since I turning, well, 20.
9:30 p.m.
Time for another pic of the kids.
For those that remember the picture of Max trying to pal up with Dessa on the bed, this one was taken a bit more recently. As you can clearly see by the look on her face, Dessa has really warmed up to Max in the 2+ years we've had him. It's quite amusing to watch all three of them fight over domain of the recliner.
12:15 p.m.
• Wow, even four out of the five Communists on the High Court agreed with the more conservative judges on this one.
Awww, poor baby. Hey Harris. Fuck you. I hope you remember what a dumbfuck you were every time your diaper needs to be changed.
I’ve heard the complaints from those that say these things put the public in danger, and if someone lost a family or friend because some shithead was going 80 mph in a residential area in an attempt to get away from the po-pos because he has a warrant out for his arrest, then I feel your pain. However, instead of taking it out on the cops, how about taking it out on the, oh, I don’t know, CRIMINALS? I’ve advocated for years that people who engage the cops on high-speed car chases should have an attempted murder count charged against them for every motorist they pass by.
• So I heard on the radio that the Warriors are up three games to one on the Mavericks. Now that's funny.
For the longest time I always had summer pegged as my favorite month. After all, when you’re a kid, summer meant no school, unless you were a retard like me and had to attend summer school for two years because you were too lazy to study during the year’s other three seasons. However, as I got older, summer began to turn from being a paradise to one more of a bother. After all, when working in the “real world” there’s no three-month break, unless you work seasonally and collect unemployment. Also, in the Mid-Atlantic region summer usually brings humidity. Not the Deep South humidity mind you, but enough humidity to make me feel like shit after a while if I’m out in the sun. In addition, drivers seem to be worse during these months. I don’t know if it’s because preppie high school kids just got their new sports cars from daddy, or if people don’t prepare their vehicles for the summer months, resulting in more breakdowns on the road. Then again, since the price of gasoline rises during this time, maybe people just get more pissed off waiting at stoplights, burning precious fuel. Who knows and who cares – one thing is for certain, summer is no longer my favorite season.
This now begs the question: what season is my favorite? Well, winter is immediately crossed off the list. Sure there’s Christmas, but there’s also snow, ice, sleet and biting winds. In addition, the people I mentioned above who don’t prep their automobiles for the hazy summer months also don’t get their vehicles ready for the slick road conditions that occur from January through March. However, accidents during this time are to be expected, so when you hear of a 10-car pileup on the nearby interstate, you think to yourself that taking a personal day from work isn't such a bad idea. With summer and winter eliminated, I’m torn between spring and autumn as being my favorite month. Let me break each season down.
The plusses of spring for me include, in no particular order: 1) Saying good-bye to winter. 2) My favorite time for sports. Not only is Major League Baseball under way, but also the NBA and NHL playoffs are in full swing. You also have the NFL Draft, which gives any football junkie a quick fix. 3) The ability to wear shorts and loose t-shirts. The minuses of spring for me include, in no particular order: 1) Saying hello to rain, along with mowing the lawn. When the better half and I moved into this house, I didn’t take into account the fact I’d be mowing the property that came with it. Friday was my first mow of the year, and the result was two hours and four bags’ worth of clippings. Although I’ve had a pretty consistent opinion of illegal immigration, I began to re-think my position after the first time I had to go out and cut this shit. 2) The increased traffic, which I already mentioned above. 3) Nice weather that’s not too hot and not too cold. This is the time of the year when I open up all the windows and let the breeze cool down the house, rather than letting the central air do its thing.
The plusses of autumn for me include, in no particular order: 1) Saying hello to the NFL regular season and MLB playoffs. I guess I can mention that the NBA and NHL usually start around this time, but I really don’t care about either’s regular season. 2) Once again, the weather. The temperature isn’t yet cold, and after several months of hot and humid surroundings, it’s nice to turn off the central air and open up the windows, if only for a few weeks. The minuses of autumn: 1) While my days of mowing the lawn are numbered for the year around this time, there’s the raking of leaves, which always sucks. However, this is only a once-a-year occurrence, unlike the constant growing grass. 2) The dread of knowing that snow is right around the corner.
For the last few years I had always pegged myself as a “spring” person, although after looking at what I have just written, it seems to me that autumn would probably be my season of preference. The only real negative to autumn is knowing that winter is fast approaching in October than it is in April. Weird.
• By now news of the alleged rape committed by members of Duke’s lacrosse team has been all over the media. Did these rich white kids have their way with a black stripper at an off-campus party? I don’t know. Rape is a serious allegation, and it can be extremely difficult to prove in a court of law. My rule of thumb regarding rape allegations is if the incident recently took place, I’ll wait until more facts/evidence is presented; the Duke situation falls into this category. Let the evidence present itself first, then make a decision.
When Kobe Bryant was accused of rape, I took the same stance. Because the incident was reported in a timely manner, I let the alleged victim make her case. Even though in the end I decided for myself that this wasn’t a rape incident, I didn’t just blindly go “OMG here’s another white girl is just trying to collect a payday.”
One of the most unfortunate aspects of these kinds of cases, other than the actual incident itself, is that just applying common sense could have prevented many of them. Girls, don’t go to a man’s hotel room at 3 a.m.; guys, don’t go to a party that is likely to get out of control. Do I sound like a fuddy duddy? Probably. But this is the way I lived my life for the most part (there have been exceptions, of course), and thanks in large part to my choices regarding not getting involved in situations that had the potential to be disastrous, I have stayed away from trouble.
Like I said earlier about my rule on how I treat a rape case, I give the benefit of the doubt to an alleged victim if the incident is reported shortly after it occurred. However, when claims are made years after the fact, I don’t want to hear them. A prime example of this came with that female kicker for the University of Colorado some years back. In 2004 she alleged that she was verbally abused, harassed and molested by other players and raped by a teammate back in 1999. The fact you waited five years to present this information leaves me with zero sympathy. Likewise that alleged rape of Juanita Broderick by Bill Clinton. The fact this (allegedly) happened several decades ago made me indifferent to whole thing. (In addition to this being my general opinion on rape cases, I also share the same sentiment when it comes to molestation cases dealing with priests.)
It should be interesting to see the fallout from this. If it turns out the alleged victim is making this story up because someone called her the “n” word, then there’s going to be a lot of apologies (at the very least) due. However, if this is a case of rape, then I say lock up the perpetrators and throw away the key.
• Well, today’s opening day for Major League Baseball. Now I’m not even going to pretend I know what I’m talking about regarding this sport, especially when there are other people at this place like Bored, who eat batting averages and on base percentages for lunch. I wasn’t into baseball during my late-teens/mid-20s, but over the last few years I’ve started to warm up to the sport again. I’m not sure why I have this change of heart; it’s certainly not due to the performance of my hometown team. Maybe this could be the year the Pirates reach the .500 mark. Believe me, if that’s the case it will be like the Pirates won the NL Central around here. Actually, back in the late 90’s (I think the year was ’97) the Pirates were in a division race for most of the season, yet they never got above the .500 mark. I was in college at the time, and many of my friends were going crazy over the fact the Pirates were in first place, yet were losing more games than they were winning. In the end, the Houston Astros woke up late in the season and took the division, only to get swept by the Braves in the first round. However, when your hometown team has experienced 14 consecutive losing seasons, I guess fans will take anything they can get.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 32: Hogan Made Wrestling
Even though he isn’t up-to-date on all the great white running backs of the NFL, it seems we both share an affection for Baldur’s Gate. (The PC game with Minsc and Boo, not the console version. Both games are solid in their own ways, but I lean toward Shadows of Amn.) He also shares an affinity with me for hating poor white trash. However, he doesn’t seem to care much for blogs, which makes me wonder what the hell he’s doing on this list in the first place. And talk about the power of premonition: from a post of mine in that “blog” thread I mentioned above.
6:30 p.m.
• OK. So I see this article on the wires.
No biggie. I wouldn't have even given this a second thought. After all, people are a crazy lot. However, below that article was this one.
Here was my favorite part.
And speaking of Valium, my out-of-control niece in law showed up for orientation at her hostess job that will probably last less than two weeks. She was with a few other people, and one of them is also a recovering drug addict who asked her, "So you're on methadone, too?" Well, that's one place I'll never eat at again. Pity, and the one time I went there before it was a good enough restaurant.
12 p.m.
• So the Frenchies have fast trains.
Great, now they can retreat faster than ever before.
• The Pirates beat the Astros 4-2 yesterday on Opening Day. But the Bucs were perfect at Minute Maid Park last year -- they didn't win a single game. Gee, maybe this really is year they turn everything around.
9:45 p.m.
• I just turned off the Nets/Raptors game. New Jersey is up by THIRTY POINTS?! I'm sure there's a "that's only 12 points after the Canadian exchange rate" joke to be made, but damn. I guess Toronto didn't want to play past April.
4:29 p.m.
• So I just spent the afternoon playing f’n Bingo with the better half at her church. The mother in-law was going to attend but couldn’t due to visitation with her granddaughter, so guess who was the lucky duck that got to take her place? Yep. Out of approximately 100 people in attendance looking for B-15s and O-72s, there were only three males in attendance, and I was one of them. In addition, I’m quite certain there was only one person there younger than me and Mrs. kkk. Boy do old people love their Bingo. Not only Bingo, but all the little gambling games that take place at one of these events: raffles, scratch-off games, SUPER SPECIAL BINGO CARDS for when games like “Crazy T” and “Fill the Card” are needed when the usual Bingo games aren’t enough to satisfy your fix. When I came into this place there was a poster showing all the ways to win at the regular Bingo games. You had the five across, down and diagonal. OK. Then there was “postage stamp,” where you had to get the top four numbers on upper right-hand side of your card. Big star, little star, four outer corner, four inner corners. Christ, how am I supposed to remember all this shit? And one of the house rules was that you had to call Bingo before the next number was called or else it’s null and void. Then you had the old ladies sitting around you going, “What did he say?” after every other number was called. No wonder telemarketers go after these easy targets.
After leaving winless we headed over to the local gas station to get mulch. I mention this because last year the better half was doing some landscaping around the house, and she told me to go and get a dozen or so bags of mulch. I asked what kind she wanted. Her response: “Get whatever.” So I did. I got this black mulch. I guess “whatever” means “anything other than black.” When I brought these bags home the following conversation took place.
Her: “What’s this?”
Me: “Mulch.”
Her: “It’s black.”
Me: “And?”
Her: “Well I didn’t want black.”
Me: “You said ‘get whatever.’”
Her: “But we don’t use black mulch.”
Me: “We do now.”
A funny thing happened when we used this black mulch. It actually turned out pretty darn good. So good in fact, that the mother in-law used the same color that year for her flowerbed. When we went out to get mulch today, the better half complained because the mulch available at the gas station was either in red or brown color. Because of this she dropped me off at home and headed to Home Depot to buy mulch that’s 83 cents more expensive per bag than the Quickie Mart mulch. But guess what color mulch Mrs. kkk is paying more money to get? Yep.
7:30 p.m.
• I’m sorry but when I saw this subject line in my inbox I had to click:
And what did the body text have to say? (The text was bolded when I read it.)
In case any of you want more information about this product, peep the vibrator shop. Then again, why pay $70 to get off when this guy will do it for free?
• I swear to Christ I’m talking to my former co-worker now more than when I worked at my previous shit hole of a job. Why? Because the new person they hired is a complete fuck-up and doesn’t know the first thing about her job. It’s already taking three people to do the work I performed by myself. What’s the point of lying about your set of job skills when you will need them to perform your duties? At least when I interview I was honest with what I knew and what I didn’t. Then again, that might be why I didn’t get past the first round of many of my interviews. Oh well.
• Oh thank fuck this show is ending.
I watched it for a spell in the late 1990s and HATED just about every character on the show. The only one I liked was Dr. Romano, and that was because he was an asshole. Everyone else I rooted for their early demise. Except for the gruffy receptionist guy. Oh, and the Anthony Edwards character, but I think that was because I hated him less than the rest of the ensemble.
3:30 p.m.
• I had a weird dream last night. I don’t remember much of it, but I ended up sitting at a table at my college making change for people. These two college guys walked up and one gave me a $50 bill and said he wanted a bunch of $1s. I started counting from my stash, and when I was around the $30ish dollar mark the guy who didn’t give me the $50 suddenly took the $50 bill and walked away. I was just about to give the other guy his change and then a voice sounding like mine said to me in the dream, “Hey dipshit, they’re ripping you off!” The voice said, “Wake up, idiot!” I did. I’ve done this before whenever I didn’t like how a dream was going for me; I just say in the dream, “OK, I’ve had enough. Wake up.” Good thing I haven’t yet done this get-out-of-dream-now stunt while making (depending on my mood) either Eliza Dusku, Rose McGowan or Jennifer Love Hewitt’s eyes roll to the back of their head.
• Even though I have no idea who any of these college football players are, I’ve been watching this year’s NFL draft since noon. LOL at Brady Quinn. Then again, if he gets drafted to a good team, I’d say that’s worth the few million extra he would have made had he gone in the top five spots. Here’s another thing. Shut the hell up Steve Young. OMG, the Packers aren’t getting Bret Favre any help. The guy’s in his 17th year – I hope for Green Bay’s sake they aren’t making picks with the mindset of, “Gee, I hope Brett approves of this.” Instead the Packers took some defensive tackle from Tennessee. Is this guy any good? I have no idea. But it’s funny as hell watching Chris Mortensen beat down Young when talking about who should the Packers draft in the first round.
