7:15 p.m.
Barry Bonds, lol.
Barry Bonds, lol.
Barry Bonds, lol.
I know he's one of the greatest players of all time. I know he'll probably be the new home-run champ. I know he has a bunch of money. But ... Barry Bonds, lol. Too bad your kid is in school -- who are you going use now to shield yourself from the media?
5:45 p.m.
• So David Beckham is going to play soccer for the Los Angeles Galaxy.
Wha- wha- what? Let me read that again.
You got to be kidding me. And all you people bitch about A-FRAUD (LOL2207) and his contract. I didn't know professional soccer in the States had $250 million to spend. I have nothing against Beckham. I kinda felt bad for him and the way he exited the last World Cup. Then again, I know nothing about soccer so who knows -- maybe he's some Satan-worshipping heathen who pimps Posh Spice out. If that's the case then I like him even more.
A quarter of a billion dollars? For five years?!
12:15 p.m.
• The commies are coming to the Mile-High City in '08.
I wonder if the person who recently shot and killed Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams will have a full clip by next year? I guess it's a good call for the Dems. Colorado has been a slightly Republican state that has slowly been turning commie. Hooray for them, I guess.
8 p.m.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 42: Rob E. Dangerously
I lik Rob, even though he threatened to extort me once because I posted something good about John Kerry a long time ago that said I might consider voting for him. Yes, I did say that once upon a time. Believe it or not, years ago I didn’t mind Kerry. I watched him on a number of talk shows and there were a few instances when he actually made sense. I remember one time back in 1999-2000 when Bill Clinton was talking about releasing oil from that so-called strategic reserve to try and lower gas prices. You know, that “reserve” we keep on hand so we’ll have enough gas for a week or two just in case terrorists blow up our energy infrastructure. Well Kerry said at the time Clinton’s idea was dumb and wouldn’t work. The problem, Kerry said, wasn’t that we were running low on oil but rather we didn’t have enough refineries to keep up with demand. Even if Clinton released this extra oil, there would be no place to refine it. Wow. A Democrat who actually made sense. Maybe this Kerry isn’t such a bad guy after all. Of course, during the ’04 election Kerry was saying that Bush should be doing the SAME THING CLINTON WAS ADVOCATING all those years ago in an attempt to lower gas prices. Et tu, Kerry? Where was I? Oh, Rob. Well, he also had a sense of humor about being a God-hating commie fag, and that’s always good, too.
And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From EricMM:
From Cancer Marney:
7:30 p.m.
• These bears got married -- is it any surprise to these zoo people why they don't want to have sex? And "Panda porn." Awesome.
You go, playa.
7:15 p.m.
• Oh, NBA. What am I going to do with you? From the headline of an article titled: "Pacers, Warriors Make Blockbuster Trade."
Who? What? This is blockbuster? Actually, it might be. I don't follow the NBA much these days during the regular season. I remember back in the early 1990s I used to follow this kind of thing day in and day out. Oh well. Now the younger generation can keep up with PPG stats and other meaningless crap while I do more important grown-up things like ... post here.
FUCK.
Well, I might as well peep the NBA standings now and see what's going on. I see Toronto is in first place in the Atlantic Division -- with a record of 18-21. And New York isn't in last place? Wow. Cleveland is in first in the Central. Yay. Actually, good for the Cavs -- I'm a LeBron fan although those ads with him as 20 different people are retarded. But if he likes doing them then more power to him. Orlando dropped from first and Washington is taking the top spot in the Southeast. Mimai is only three games under .500 -- they'll be fine come playoff time. Over in the Northwest Division Utah is in first with the A.I. Nuggets in third place. Phoenix is kicking ass in the Pacific, followed by the Lakers. Clippers don't seem to be doing as well as they did last year. Damn, Dallas, San Antonio and Houston are above .600 -- I almost feel bad for New Orleans and Memphis. That's it until the next time I feel motivated to see what the heck is going on in the NBA.
7:45 a.m.
• Well I had one of those weird moments on the way to work. As I was driving along Rt. 30, I noticed an accident in the lane next to me. Now I try not to gawk at accident scenes while driving. The only times I do are if I’m a passenger in a vehicle or if I was stuck in traffic for a long time because of some motorist’s negligence. I figure if they are making me burn unnecessary fuel, add more wear-and-tear to my car and delaying my trip from Point A to Point B, the least I should be allowed to do is look at what caused my delay. Anyway, from my split-second glimpse of the scene, and the deer laying at the side of the road, I’m guessing a car tried to avoid hitting a deer, failed and the car behind the first motorist rear-ended him. This got me the thinking how someone’s life can change in just a few seconds. What if I had gotten up after the third time my snooze alarm went off instead of the fourth? What if I had sped through a yellow light a few miles prior to this accident scene rather than stopping at it? What if I had packed my lunch for work the night before instead of taking a few minutes this morning to put soup, some yogurt and granola/cereal bars in my lunch cooler? Could I have been the person trying to avoid the deer? Could I have been the one to get struck by another motorist? Thankfully, I'll never know. Then again, I'm sure something sucky will happen to me in the next week or so to have me questioning why didn't I leave several minutes before/after I actually did.
8 p.m.
• I just watched my first "To Catch A Predator" NBC special. Oh my God. Don't these people realize that if they went after 18-year-old chicks they wouldn't be in this kind of trouble? 15-year-old, 18-year-old. Is there really that much of a better time? And of course half of these are church volunteers or something like that.
6 p.m.
• I said the same thing at the other place, but it bears repeating. The Beast is running for president. Time to get that sniper's rifle. Yeah I know. Brrrr, it's cold and all that other shit.
Can't wait until I hear that bolded line for the 1,000,000,000th fucking time by Medium-Large Media until the Anti-Christ gets elected. Maybe she'll have Bill Lester drive her to the swearing-in ceremoney. You all know Lester, THE FIRST BLACK MAN TO RACE IN THE CUP SERIES SINCE WILLY T. RIBBS DROVE AT MICHIGAN IN 1986!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe if Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy's teams meet in the Super Bowl, they'll be invited, too.
5 p.m.
• Got the Westside Connection's "Bow Down" bumping in my trunk, err, computer room stereo. This is one of those albums that I listen to from time-to-time as a guilty pleasure ever since I bought it 11 years ago, and it still manages to crack me up. My three favorite tracks at the moment with favorite lines in italics:
3) All The Critics In New York
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Yoooooooooooo! N*gga fuck that shit...
2) The Gangsta, The Killa And The Dope Dealer
Gangsta don't dance we boogie/n*ggas run out and get yo' cookies.
1) King Of The Hill
Now what you hip-hop hippies?
12:30 p.m.
• So the better half thought she fooled me regarding this year’s anniversary present. Even though our blessed event isn’t until June, she said that I’ll be getting my gift next week. Uh, OK. She also said that couldn’t figure out what it would be; however, I think I already did. From the information she gave me, assuming it is all correct, it’s coming from a businesses that’s closing. Also, it will require movers. This thing cannot be kept at her mother’s basement because she wouldn’t want it to have that “basement” smell. After some careful reasoning, I concluded that this mystery gift was a couch or similar piece of furniture. The look she gave me when she said, “how did you come to that?” tells me that I’m probably right.
I’m not one of these people that likes stupid, sentimental crap. Give me something practical, and a new couch would be just that. Currently we have two couches in our living room – one is of the three cushion variety and the other is only two. They are both seven years hold, have experienced two moves and a total of four cats (and sixteen sets of claws). These couches are tattered, but that’s to be expected when you own multiple cats. I’ve had people say, “Well get them declawed.” Fuck that. When you have kids and they wind up breaking something, are you going to chop of the tips of their fingers? I think not. It’s bad enough children aren’t transported in little carriers.
8 p.m.
• As if Pfizer isn't having enough troubles right now, some AIDS group is mad that people are actually having sex after taking Viagra.
What next -- suing gun makers because people commit crimes with firearms? Wait a second...
• Woah, there was a dinosaur that had wings like a biplane? Cool. Pooh on the haters, I've been into dinosaurs since I was a kid. Ceratopsian represent.
7 a.m.
• Oh Jesus it's already started. Once the Bears punched their ticket to the Super Bowl, the "OMG FIRST BLACK HEAD COACH IN SUPER BOWL HISTORY~!!!!" talk began. Now with the Colts in as well, I don't think I can handle TWO WEEKS of this.
• And speaking of black coaches, I'm hearing that the Steelers hired a black guy.
Oh this should be fun. I hope the guy does well, but if he struggles in his first few season, the fan reaction should be ... interesting. Personally, I don't care what color a head coach is; give me people who are new to the head coaching world and let them inject new ideas into the NFL. I'm also curious to see what happens to Russ Grimm, a Steelers assistant who was reported by the Shittsburgh Tribune-Review to have gotten the job in Sunday's edition.
• I love this quote from a Patriots player after yesterday's game:
8:30 p.m.
• This is why government is a joke. Illegal aliens crossing our borders. We do nothing. Illegal aliens flying planes into our buildings. We renew their visas after they do the deed. But should you decide to take a vacation to the Caribbean? OMG WE NEED TO SEE YOUR PASSPORT OR YOU AIN'T GETTIN' BACK IN!!!!!!
Why are we doing this?
Too bad the first time a Muslim or Mexican bitches about this "discrimination," Uncle Sam will fold like a house of cards and made the "Abdul Exemption," or some shit.
2:15 p.m.
• Hooray for Big Airline on this one. I wish kicking families out of planes/buses/restaurants/etc. for their screaming brats was practiced more often.
I love that last line: "We're never flying AirTran again!" Good. It's not the airline's job to control your kid. It's your job. You can't do it -- get the hell out. The only thing I don't approve of is AirTran offering them free tickets.
1 p.m.
• Well yesterday I had to take Max to the vet for his annual shots and for the vet to tell us he’s too fat. It’s amazing how our three kids seem to magically know when either me or the better half pick up their carrier. It must be some sort of sixth sense or something.
8:30 p.m.
• So the Jew is running for office.
Great. So he was the point man on a manufactured LEFT-WING RADIO network to CHALLENGE RUSH and flopped. Now as Senator he'll vote in the unFairness Doctrine. Funny.
• I guess I could say something mean, but I never cared about this feminazi when she was alive so why should I bother now? Peace out.
• Senator Joe Biden...
I never saw Barack Osama as a clean black man ever .... ever.
Does this mean I no longer have to save my allowance for that campaign war chest due to my braided hair not being washed on a daily basis?
And I'm sure Medium-Large Media will be all over this story as if someone like, say, Trent Lott would have said this.
7 a.m.
• So I was listening to a top-of-the-hour RIGHT-WING RADIO station’s newscast, and the story was W. talking about the state of the economy and how unemployment is low and expansion/growth is up. Of course, the reporter then said, “BUT CRITICS SAY,” there are parts in the U.S. economy struggling, particularly manufacturing such as FORD and GENERAL MOTORS(?!). LOL – so not only is George W. Bush responsible for hurricanes, earthquakes and tornados, but also he is responsible for these companies and how they run their businesses. Look, I get that foreign competition can be a bitch, and there are cases where I feel the American worker is getting corn-holed, but to cite these two dinosaurs as examples of what’s wrong with the U.S. economy is … well, now that I put it that way, I would tend to agree.
• You got to be shitting me. Or should I say you got to be shitting facing away from Mecca? Yet another arrow to add to my “One of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male” quiver. From our friends across the Pond. And ignore the hippie spelling -- this is from the U.K. Sun.
7:30 p.m.
• Let me get this straight. In the first paragraph of this article it says:
Oh, nos.
Then I read the fourth paragraph.
Couple this with the melting ice caps and I think we'll be A-OK in the "there's no water" department. I'd also consider investing in companies that deal with desalination.
8:30 p.m.
• You know, I was going to bitch about Fast Eddie and his additional tax ideas, but why bother when I have other reasons to bitch about government spending -- like 2,900,000,000,000 reasons.
I don't know what's sicker. The fact this is the number being proposed or that it's not going to be enough. Party of small government my ass.
• This caught my eye.
I know nothing about NASCAR, other than it makes a shitload of money. But you know what? If you're a NASCAR driver, you should know that there is no pension in place. What does that mean? SAVE your money! INVEST it wisely! Have other LIFE SKILLS besides driving really fast! Now a case could be made for the old-timers who may not have made as much money and helped turn this sport (yes, I called it a sport) into a cash cow, but that's another subject for another time. I'm talking about today's drivers making the big bucks; realize that you won't be doing this forever. Prepare for that.
Then again, if the rest of us don't save, why should NASCAR drivers?
8 p.m.
• I saw this on TSM, but I wanted to get more news on it. Oh hell no.
Words can't express how pissed Indy 4 makes me. Well, not pissed that I'd go out and kill. It's about as pissed as I'll get when it comes to movies that shouldn't be made. I'm sure I'll rant about why I hate this idea someday, but I just don't feel like it right now.
12:30 p.m.
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call(ers) of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this. Chick number one: She’s living with her boyfriend and away from her parents so she’s “depressed.” The other night her and the boyfriend got into a huge fight because “he’s not there to console me.” She can’t remember what she said to him during this fight, but she knows it caused him to rip apart a wall. OK then. Chick number two: She’s asking for advice about her boyfriend who “turned Christian” early in their relationship and caught him going after 13- to- 15 year-old girls on My Space. He’s also mad at her because she’s not a virgin. And this is only in the show’s first segment.
10:15 p.m.
• Well, I just heard the news. My last living grandparent just passed away – grandma on the old man’s side. She was in her 90s, so it’s not like life cheated her out of anything; when it came to cashing Social Security checks, she definitely came out ahead. She raised six kids during the Depression; two of them who have died before her. The last time I saw her (Christmas Eve), she was bed-ridden and unable to talk, so it was only a matter of time. There are several variations of old people. You have the constantly miserable type, and then there are those who crack you up, no matter how wrong or off base they are. My grandma was definitely the latter. Growing up she would always speak her mind, usually resulting in family DRAMA, or hilarity. For example, my one half-brother lived at her old house in the attic and she HATED him. During on of the 1980s playoff games between the Browns and Broncos, my half-brother was going to take a bath and grandma said to him, “Get out of here you freeloading bastard.” This of course prompted my old man to get up and start screaming “CRAZY HOUSE! CRAZY HOUSE! WE LIVE IN A … CRAZY HOUSE!!! CRAZY HOUSE!!!” He then smacked the wall a few times, ran around the room and went into a nearby room. While most people might freak out upon witnessing this display of unadulterated rage, as a kid I found the whole thing funny as hell. Heck, I'm an adult and still laugh at this dysfunction. And grandma sure was a racist. I can’t count the number of times she referred to said half-brother’s longtime girlfriend as a “mixed breed.” Those were the days. She would also smack me with a fly swatter, but it was all out of love. She got moved into a home sometime in the early ‘90s, against her will, and stuck around ever since. I remember her bitching about this for years until she got too senile to remember where she was. At least she’ll have a legacy of what a brilliant “baby” grandson she helped nurture during his formative years and turned into the fine, upstanding gentleman he is today.
Uh, on second thought…
9:30 p.m.
• How about worrying about the Mexicans crossing your border before saying stupid shit like this? Christ, and I thought Richardson had half-a-brain after becoming governor of New Mexico.
"Recent successes"? Yeah, it'll be a "success" until we catch them fiddling with nuke stuff ... again.
9:15 p.m.
• The hell?
Have I mentioned lately how much Whoria Alldread needs to die -- and die soon?
• I'm not even going to bother posting parts of this retarded story. The headline says it all: Lying to Doctor Can Mean Health Risks
Well no fucking shit. And this article is more than 900 words! Do we really need to be told how lying to your doctor might not be in your best interest. Hell, if you're going to fib about your health, then why are you at the doctor's office in the first place? Well, you could be trying to get drugs, but aside from that.
• The U. of Ill. should name their next mascot "Chief Dickless." Wait, that's offense to Indians who had mishaps with a large piece of machinery.
7:30 p.m.
• Well, that chick lost after not being able to rap a nursery rhyme. Ha. Next week's show has these crackas going to Detroit to do battle raps, or whatever the hell those kids did in that "8 Mile" movie. That might actually be worth watching. Then again, knowing one of these people is going to win a lot of money has me depressed. I've got Derelicts of Dialect on now. Weird.
4:15 p.m.
• LOL -- so I just watched another episode of that White Rapper show, and it had the fat chick having to go to the emergency room after flopping at the THUG OBSTACLE COURSE. Oh she better not win this contest. Oh this is so awful.
6:45 p.m.
• So Jim Rome’s ESPN show and Around the Horn got all PC (as usual) by everyone going hooray for Illinois getting rid of the Indian mascot. Jesus Christ, get over yourselves. Don’t equate this with the white man wiping out the tribe of Chief I-Was-Stupid-For-Letting-Those-Crackers-Off-The-Boat. I feel NO sympathy for the hippie Indians. They had the home field advantage and blew it. My people came over, they saw, they kicked ass. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry? Fuck that. Yeah, whitey is a fucked up people, but it’s not like the Indians were these heavenly pacifists: they could tear shit up when they wanted. And besides, with the recent winter freeze I went through, there’s no way I want to live in a wigwam.
• I’ve been hearing for a few weeks that the Bears head coach Lovie Smith is one of the lowest paid NFL head coaches in the league, if not the lowest-paid. Must be RACISM! Or it might be that he’s employed by a bunch of Jews. Here’s how I see it: Lovie, you seem to be doing the right thing. Just keep your mouth shut and coach. Take the million-and-change and win another divisional title. Then when your contract ends go out there and get paid like a mo’ fo’. You’re a coach, not a player. You don’t have to worry about tearing an ACL on the field. You have a good team in a shitty division. Build up your worth and laugh in the face of Bears’ management when they try to low-ball you with no leverage at this time next year. I’ve heard from media reports that you like it in Chicago. If that’s the case, then you’ll have to live with the fact that you work for a bunch of tightwads. Believe me, I feel your pain. Well, maybe not so much since I don’t make seven figures, but I’m not here to do the class envy thing. You’re worth more than what you’re getting paid. You have to decide if getting shafted in the pocketbook is worth staying. For me it wouldn’t be, but you know much more about your situation than I do.
• So yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and even though I’m a confirmed Lutheran I still have to do the no-meat shit since the better half is as Catholic as youth sodomy. Of course, while beginning my meatless meal, she yells because I’m having double-noodle soup.
Her: “What’s that?”
Me: “Double Noodle Soup. You know, the kind you don’t eat anymore and I have to finish off.”
Her: “OMG IT HAS CHICKEN IN IT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “It says ‘double noodle.”
Her: “IT HAS CHICKEN BROTH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “Well then I guess I’m going to hell.”
Chicken broth? You have to fill an empty Campbell’s can up with water to cook this shit. Even sausage factories allow a certain amount of rat poop into their product. I’m sure God has some quality-control exemptions. If not, then oh well. I’m actually hoping that I get past the Pearly Gates thanks to some package deal I’m hoping Mrs. kkk gets for all the religious shit she does.
1 p.m.
• I don't know why I thought of this just now, but those mobile phone ads featuring Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley make me laugh, especially the one where the blonde chick thinks Chuck is Wade's dad.
8:30 a.m.
• Uh-oh. O.J. Simpson has to give up some of his loot to the Goldman family.
I hope this doesn't make him mad enough to kill. Allegedly, of course.
3 p.m.
• I'm sure there's an EricMM joke to be made here, but I'm in a hurry so I'll leave it up to your imagination.
At least the Nazis made lampshades from recycled material.
• Well, I haven’t checked out what the NBA has been up to in a while. Might as well see who is where in the standings. Atlantic Division: Hey, there’s a team over .500, and it’s Toronto. The Knicks are only six games below the mediocre mark, and the Celtics … well, I knew they had a long losing streak, which is a shame because I liked their head coach Doc Rivers as a player – I haven’t followed his coaching career that close. Central Division: Detroit is tops in the conference. For that meltdown of theirs in the playoffs last year against Miami, and with Ben Wallace leaving for the Bulls, they are doing pretty darn well. Cleveland is the number two seed (in record); now will they go farther in the postseason this time?Chicago is doing pretty well, I guess. Southeast Division: Wasn’t Orlando in first place? Now it’s Washington? Doesn’t matter, Miami is starting to play well, even with Wade out. There’s Orlando … as the number 8 seed? And the Hawks aren’t in last place? Northwest Division: Utah is in first, has a 42-19 record and is seeded fourth in the Conference. Meanwhile, their .689 winning percentage is better than Detroit’s .627. Looks like that AI/Anthony combo isn’t doing so well. Eh, they have the seventh seed and probably weren’t going to go that far anyway in the West. I’ve been hearing how the Timberwolves have been wasting Kevin Garnett’s career, but considering he signed a $100+ million contract, I really don’t care. Portland and Seattle, eh. Pacific Division. Phoenix is doing good, as usual, and I hope they win it all, only because this might make more teams aim for a run ‘n gun style of play. I don’t think they’ll get past Dallas, though. There’s Kobe and the Lakers 14.5 games back followed by the Clippers – they did good last year and now they’re an eighth seed. Interesting. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. Pacific Division: Dallas is 51-9 – didn’t they lose their first four games of the season? Wow. San Antonio is having a great year and Houston is playing .600 ball. New Orleans and Memphis, eh.
• While I’m on the subject of basketball, I remember a while back Tracy McGrady made some remarks about how he wouldn’t feel comfortable in New Orleans should the NBA have an All-Star game there next year.
I remember the Around the Horn guys scolding T-Mac for this. Yeah, how dare McGrady say that New Orleans isn’t safe. I’m siding with McGrady on this one. I remember a while back he missed some important games because he was expecting the birth of his child. More power to him. I forget who it was, but at least one panelist said that McGrady should hire personal security guards and go to New Orleans. Fuck that. If he doesn’t want to go, then don’t go. Just … sprain your ankle a few days prior to the event.
• Well, it’s time to go to this wedding thing. Should be back Saturday night. I’m not sure if my friend’s family is somewhat normal or white trash like mine, so I doubt there will be any worthwhile stories to tell.
8 p.m.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 37: AlwaysPissedOff
Now one would think with him being all African-American and shit that this would be an appropriate user name. But the strange thing is I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pissed off, or even slightly irritated for that matter. And he’s been in my kkk Bowl league since the beginning, so he has to be aware of my unwavering RACISM. After a few lean seasons, Mr. APO has made the last two postseasons, and even came within one victory of a kkk Bowl III appearance (yet another person with every right to hate a certain peckerwood with a title involving a bunch of jumbled letters and numbers). However, he does seem like an angry black man fo’ sho’ here. And he sure misses those BK cheese sticks. Nevertheless, I’ll be secretly pulling for him should kkk Bowl V commence in ’07-’08. Well, it won’t be so secret now.
And now a word from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From Cancer Marney:
3 p.m.
• Crap, I need to get going on this year's Brackkketology before it's too late. Might as well start with the "play-in" game -- does it really matter who wins this? I say Niagara will FALL to the other team. Get it? Niagara, Fall. Oh, I'm a regular laugh riot.
FIRST ROUND
Florida (1), Jackson State (16)
Arizona (8), Purdue (9)
Butler (5), Old Dominion (12) Will that loss to Wright State in Butler’s conference championship game be a wake-up call or an omen of things to come? I’m hoping for the former.
Maryland (4), Davidson (13)
Notre Dame (5), Winthrop (11)
Oregon (3), Miami of Ohio (14) Fuck Miami O – I hope they get crushed.
UNLV (7), Georgia Tech (10)
Wisconsin (2), Tex A&M CC (15)
Kansas (1) Whoever (16)
Kentucky (8), Villanova (9)
Virginia (5), Illinois (12) They were good a few years ago. Yeah, great logic picking them now.
Southern Illinois (4), Holy Cross (13)
Duke (6), VCU (11)
Pittsburgh (3), Wright State (14) Oh I am so tempted to pick WSU in this one, but I expect the Panthers to crap out in Round 2.
Indiana (7), Gonzaga (10) Please God let the Zags lose in the first round; I don’t want to hear another “OMG THEY’RE A CINDERELLA STORY” again.
UCLA (2), Weber State (15)
North Carolina (1), Eastern Kentucky (16)
Marquette (8), Michigan State (9)
Southern Cal (5), Arkansas (12)
Texas (4), New Mexico State (13)
Vanderbilt (6), George Washington (11)
Washington State (3), Oral Roberts (14)
Boston College (7), Texas Tech (10)
Georgetown (2), Belmont (15)
Ohio State (1), Central Conn. State (16)
BYU (8), Xavier (9)
Tennessee (5), Long Beach (12)
Virginia (4), Albany (13)
Louisville (6), Stanford (11)
Texas A&M (3), Penn (14)
Nevada (7), Creighton (10)
Memphis (2), North Texas (15)
SECOND ROUND
Florida (1), Purdue (9)
Maryland (4), Butler (5)
Oregon (3),Winthrop (11)
Wisconsin (2), Georgia Tech (10)
Kansas (1), Villanova (9)
Southern Illinois (4), Illinois (12)
Pitt (3), Duke (6)
UCLA (2), Indiana (7)[/b]
UNC (1), Marquette (8)
Texas (4), Southern Cal (5)
Washington State (3), George Washington (11)
Georgetown (2), Boston College
Ohio State (1), Xavier (9)
Virginia (4), Tennessee (5)
Texas A&M (3), Louisville (6)
Memphis (2), Creighton (10)
THIRD ROUND
Florida (1), Maryland (4)
Wisconsin (2), Oregon (3)
Kansas (1), Southern Illinois (4)
UCLA (2), Duke (6)
North Carolina (1), Texas (4)
Georgetown (2), George Washington (11)
Ohio State (1) Tennessee (5)
Memphis (2), Louisville (6)
FOURTH ROUND
Florida (1), Oregon (3)
Kansas (1), UCLA (2)
Georgetown (2), Texas (4)
Ohio State (1), Louisville (6)
FINAL FOUR
Florida (1), UCLA (2)
Ohio State (1), Texas (4)
FINAL TWO
Ohio State (1), Florida (1) Revenge for the BcS Bowl-thingy.
Jesus Christ, I barely picked any upsets. Well, I’m a pussy, so what do you expect? Now that my picks are out in the open, it’s time to guess what will really happen:
Notre Dame and Virginia Tech will reach the Final Four, that guy from Texas will blow out his knee in the first round, and Central Conn. State will be the first 16 seed ever to upset a number 1. Too bad I’ll forget what teams I picked by this time tomorrow.
9 a.m.
• Oh no, now the integrity of ... uh, movie boxing, will be FOREVER TAINTED!
So when Stallone was killing all those gooks in Rambo II he was CHEATING?! And lol at that Rocky IV scene where he was training the "old-fashioned" way (carrying heavy stuff and chopping wood) while his commie opponent was roiding up.
8:45 p.m.
• A while back I made a comment to SFA Jack in a PM about if I won the lotto/wasn’t married/etc. and got to move anywhere I wanted to I might go with Texas. It seems like a conservative enough state and it probably won’t get completely overrun with Mexicans until after I’m dead. However, after seeing an episode of “Cops” this evening, I think I might have to amend this statement. Travis County – lol. I may go with Georgia, but it'd have to be away from all the black people. And away from that humidity, too.
8:15 p.m.
• Well I had the interview today. Yay, I guess. If I was unemployed I’d probably be sleepless in anticipation of a call back, but I’m over all that shit. I had another, in my opinion, solid interview, where I responded to their questions way better than they did mine. All in all, this place seems like a nice place to work. Just the place for me to enter and queer it all up. Actually, it was funny because I got in early and saw the one chick escorting another candidate for this job out. He must have been the interviewee for that previous hour, and he was leaving at 50 past the hour. When arranging this interview, I was told to expect to be there an hour, so this kid was leaving with 10 minutes to spare. I knew this person wasn’t going to get the job over me. Christ, he didn’t even wear a jacket to the interview and looked like a goddamn slob. I came in, did my thing and left after 80 minutes. Hell, I’ve been on interviews that were supposed to last one hour and ended up being 3-4 hours and I still didn’t get called back, so I don’t normally go by “time spent.” Hell, there have been times when I knew I wasn’t getting the job, but I stayed and asked a buttload of questions just to piss off my interviewer. Hey, you want to waste my time, I’ll waste yours.
I should hear back from them next week if I’m getting called back. Will I get called back? Don’t know, don’t care. Like I said earlier, I’ve stopped caring about trying to figure out how I did at an interview. I’ll objectively judge my performance afterward and decide what I did good (did my best to keep in contact with all three interviewers in the room and answered all questions with thorough examples) and what needed improving (I caught myself slouching a few times). One thing that will probably go against me is being “overqualified,” which I find funny because I’ve been on interviews in year’s past when I’ve actually had people tell me all the duties that would be required of this position, and when I address each requirement point-by-point, it was then I got fed the over-qualified line. But it all works out in the end, and what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Either that, or sends you to the grave at an early age due to a heart attack.
• Que?
Elections? Now that's funny.
• Over the last few days I’ve been playing my Public Enemy collection, and I must say that for years I have always preferred “Fear of a Black Planet” over “It Takes a Nation of Millions.” However, I think that’s starting to change. I’ve been preferring the PE’s second album in recent listenings over their third effort, and I think it’s going to stay that way for a while – although I’ve always LOVED “Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos.” One of my favorite lines: “My plan said I had to get out and break north/Just like with Oliver’s neck/I had to get off.”
• Fuck these Jew bastards.
Here’s my Bally’s story. When I was 18 I signed up for some hippie plan, and the plan was like $30 per month for a few years, $20 per month for a few years and then $6 per month for LIFE. As the years went by I didn’t go to Bally’s as much due to my college/full-time job schedule and my gym wasn’t open during the times I wanted to work out. But I had the extra money to spend and I figured with that $6 per month for LIFE quickly approaching, what have I got do lose?
Apparently, I had $6 per month for LIFE to lose. Oh, did I say $6? I meant $20. The first month after I made my first $6 per month for LIFE payment, I was informed that they were jacking up my LIFETIME PAYMENTS to the level it had previously been at, which around $20, or something like that. Fuck you Bally’s, fuck you right in the ear. Speaking of gyms, I always found it funny that people who went there to get in shape would illegally park in fictional spots next to the gym because they were too lazy to park in the back of a full lot and spend a few minutes WALKING to the front door.
• Oh, here’s another PE line I love from “Rebel Without a Pause” that just got played: “From a rebel it’s final on black vinyl/Soul, rock and roll comin’ like a rhino.” And for those that wracked their brain over my question of where did the line, “Now Freeze … Music Please,” come from? “It’s My Thing,” from EPMD’s first album “Strictly Business.” However, I made two faux pas – the “hip-hop” beat I refer to comes after “Music Please,” not before, and the line goes "And then I yell freeze." Man, I bet this cost me some street cred. Whatever, my favorite track on "Strictly Business" has always been "Let the Funk Flow" anyway.
8 p.m.
• Looks like the winter season is over in my part of the country. This weekend was the first this year when the windows were opened throughout the house. I like the seasonal transition from winter to spring because it’s not too hot where the AC needs turned on and it’s not too cold so that the better half will bitch about being cold – well at least not bitch all that much. Too bad in a few months it’ll be hotter than shit. Then again, it beats snow so I’m not complaining. However, this weather means that pretty soon I’ll have to start mowing the lawn again. In addition, I’m going to have to rake the leaves in the backyard, too. The last two years I raked the leaves in the autumn right before the snow, but this past season I was sick and didn’t get around to doing so. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
• Payback is a bitch, mother fucker.
Wait a second.
Sonofabitch. It wasn’t Mike Nifong. Wow. Never thought I’d live to see the day where I feel sympathy for a defense lawyer. Then again, if I should ever get dragged into court I’ll probably be showering my Jew lawyer with praise.
• Awesome.
Why do I think this is funny? Because Middletown, Ohio, my former residence, is located in Butler County. Oddly enough, there is a Butler county in the southwestern Pennsylvania area, too. It's the county just above Allegheny county (which is where Shittsburgh is located). For those that don't know by now, my county is to the east of Allegheny. While I’m on the subject of Middletown, I remember this story from two years ago, and I don’t think I've mentioned it here before.
During my limited time living in Middletown, I never had a problem with the local tax people. Actually, I’ve never had a problem with any local tax people anywhere I have lived. Well, last year my local tax man didn’t cash my April check until the end of May, but whatever. It's local government.
6:45 p.m.
• Oh you got to be kidding me. ESPN has Racist Dusty as a commentator? I just saw him on SportsCenter talking about the NL East. Oddly enough, Racist Dusty didn’t mention which teams will start out the season fast but finish slow in those chilly September nights due to a plethora of black players on their roster.
• I can't wait to hear Circuit City bitch a year from now about how they can't find any good workers.
If you’ve read my blog or posts for any length of time, chances are you know my opinion toward unions, "worker's rights" and all that other hippie shit, but whenever I read stuff like this, I get irked. Then again, in a free market, you always have to be on the go and ready to change jobs; staying at a place for 30 years is a thing of the past. Kind of a shame, really, but it’s a fact of life. Great, now I’m sounding like a commie. I need to change the subject … stat.
• Much better.
9 a.m.
• I'm a cat person, but I got to admit that there's no way any of my three would be able to pull this off.
7 a.m.
• So I just heard on the news that Fast Eddie's attempt to jack up the state cigarette tax an extra dime is approved by voters in a poll by a count of 54 to 46 percent. Now I don’t smoke and I don’t care about those that do. However, I do have a soft spot for smokers if only because I treat them like disposable front-line infantrymen (and women) in the war on the State taxing its constituents. If smoking ever gets banned, or taxed to the point where not enough people won't purchase the product, then Big Brother will go and tax up the wazoo something else – perhaps something I like. Well anyway, I heard in this news blurb that the dime increase will make PA’s tax on a pack of smokes $1.45. And we bitch about BIG OIL for price gouging? Yikes.
• I’ve been rooting for the Penguins and their mid-season surge to the NHL playoffs, if only because I hope it reminds people that Fast Eddie and Shittsburgh did jack shit to keep them here (yet our local leaders bent over backwards for the Pirates when they were in "danger" of leaving town). Last night they clinched a postseason spot. Uh, yay and stuff. I normally don’t watch the Penguins on television for a full game. If I’m putting away groceries or channel surfing and a game is being televised, I’ll keep it on depending on my mood. Well last night I had the start of the game on against the Washington Capitals while I got back from the grocery store. Every time I have a Penguins game on at the start of the contest they stink up the arena, and last night was no exception as Washington got off to a 2-0 lead. I changed channels for a few hours and came back to the game. What was the score when I returned to the game? 4-2 Pens.
9 p.m.
• Now this is real fucked up...
...Imus is still alive?
8:30 p.m.
• I don't care what anyone says, this guy can coach my team anytime.
I wouldn't be looking for any work in the media or banking industries either, Mike.
2 p.m.
• Rush just said, "I believe half of what I see, none of what I hear." If you can't figure it out by now, then don't bother.
9:30 p.m.
• From this Web site's About Us section. The "Despises" section is great.
I'm so getting this shirt.
8 a.m.
• Do I really need to say anything else?
:lol:
:lol:
7:30 a.m.
• So there's a new SOMETHING-WING RADIO channel in Shittsburgh, and all I can say is alrighty then.
93.7 the Zone: Shittsburgh's MAN STATION.
Opie and Anthony 6-9 a.m.
John Steigerwald 9-10 a.m. (local guy who used to/may still write about sports)
Dennis Miller 10 a.m.-1 p.m.
John McIntire 1-4 p.m. (local liberal weenie)
Scott Paulsen 4-7 p.m. (local FM DJ)
Dave Dameshek 7-10 p.m. (No clue)
Loveline 10 p.m.-1 a.m.
John & Jeff 1-6 a.m.
Oh, yeah. This will be around long.
8:15 p.m.
• Time for another pic of the kids.
It's Max. There are pumpkins on the coffee table. Max is on the coffee table. That's all I got. Interestingly enough, JJ is terrified of pumpkins, and when we get them every October he flees in terror. *shrug*
8 p.m.
• I’ve always said that bitches will be the death of you.
Reading this story reminded me of an instance in high school where this one guy named James dated this Rachel chick for a while. I guess you could say they were the pre-goth crowd, although they weren’t nearly as “extreme” as the all-white/black hair and make-up freaks are today. I’d classify them more as “alternatives.” How far in-between the evolution scale are we talking about regarding Goths and alternatives? If we were going by the dinosaur scale, here’s how it would go.
If Goths are Triceratopses…
... then James and Rachel would have been Protoceratopses.
.
Get it? Got it? Good.
Anyway, for one reason or another Rachel dumped James. And what did James do? He went to the wall where he painted “Rachel + James” and removed the vertical line so that it read “Rachel – James.” Was pretty funny, actually.
6 p.m.
• Regardless of what you think of Don Imus’ “nappy headed hos” remark regarding the women’s Rutgers college basketball team, this is probably the funniest thing to come out the whole ordeal.
Poo-Face wants “lines drawn” in regards to media speech? The same race-baiting poverty pimp that got a $345,000 defamation suit against him for what he said regarding the Tawana Brawley hoax? The same race-baiting poverty pimp that did the following back in 1995?
You’re good, Poo-Face. Real good. No go have your wife feed you lots of eggs and butter so you can die early like many black men do, of heart disease. Well, that’s how I feel. Oh, dear. Did I say something RACIST? No, I’m just quoting Julianne Malveaux, a black female columnist, and what she said about Clarance Thomas back in the day.
9:30 p.m.
• The better half and I have this ongoing joke where I call her a “ho.” (Don’t ask. It’s a LONG story.) Well, like many things, this joke has morphed over time. One of these changes came when I finally got her to watch Season 1 of “The Shield.” There is this storyline that carried for an episode or two where officers Dani and Gay Julian dealt with this love triangle: one fat white woman and two black guys. Basically, this chick was banging one guy then the next, and every time the officers went to that address for some domestic disturbance call, the gal was with a different guy. One time the cops were called out there because one of the guys spray-painted “ho” on the woman’s front door. But on the next call out there, when the guy who spray-painted “ho” suddenly became that woman’s squeeze for the day, in response to his earlier graffiti he spray-pained “s” and “e” to transform that derogatory term from “ho” to “shoe.” When Mrs. kkk saw this “shoe” scene, she bust out laughing, so now instead of calling her “ho,” in many instances I call her “shoe.” It’s all love talk. Anyway, today we went to a local Chinese buffet due to both of us having crazy days at work. While we were there, this family came in and was celebrating the birthday of one of their daughters. We knew this because the girl was wearing a paper crown on her head. On the crown it said, “Happy Birthday Mary” and below that it said, “little shoe.” We both laughed.
Oh, and that “Shield” storyline ended with one of the guys killing the other guy and chick … with a GUN!
• An organized crime chief can't afford to pay for car upkeep? Japan's economy must really suck.
Gee, I wonder how that bit got into the article? I liked the last part of the article.
So I guess Japan now needs to ban swords, knives, matches and gasoline in order for its citizens to feel really safe.
• Not only was Jersey’s governor not wearing a seatbelt in his recent accident, but also his SUV was going 91 mph. That’s funny.
I wonder if the law will treat Corzine the same way as it would a regular person who got into an accident going more than 30 mph over the speed limit and not wearing a seat belt?
• How about calling on distressed borrowers to not buy houses when they clearly can’t afford to make such an investment?
Oh, yeah. Because that would be mean.
11:45 p.m.
• So MSNBC had “To Catch a Predator: Greatest Hits” or something like that. After watching this hour-long laughfest, I have conclude that this world is made up of some crazy-ass people. My favorite was the guy who showed up to the sting house, stripped naked and began wanking in the kitchen before the show’s host came out to greet him. The next day this perv arranged another “date,” this time at a McDonald’s, thinking he was going to provide a happy meal for some 13-year-old boy. Busted again. But that’s not the best part. At the show’s end, when they were telling us the years in jail all these predators received, the guy mentioned above was only sentenced to two years – the least out of all of them, except for the guy who is still at-large. Did I say two years? I mean NONE, because the red diaper doper baby judge suspended his sentence. WTF? He was ON VIDEO at a house where he thought he was going to get some under-age anal and was MASTERBATING in anticipation. While these shows are funny as hell, what’s scary is when you realize that there are a shit-load of these encounters that go on everyday.
7:45 p.m.
• I think I just found my new “White Rapper” show. I was flipping through channels today and watched some of that “Charm School” program where the “Flavor of Love” rejects learn to be more lady-like. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then consider yourself lucky. Good God. There were many things to laugh at, but what got me was the $50,000 grand prize and how several of these women thought this would be the end-all to their current financial woes. Um, it’s only $50,000 – and that’s before taxes. You’re not going to retire because of this. At least I now know who that chick was in those “I Love New York” episodes. No, I didn’t watch ANY of those. What is up with rejected chicks on these “Bachelor-like” shows getting their own “elimin-date” programs? Talk about sloppy seconds.
• If you don't think you're shooting at blacks, then terrorists have already won.
• The hell?
So what about the billions upon billions of unbaptized babies who have already died? What exactly happens to them – do they get recalled or something? And to think there are people sitting in a room actually discussing this stuff.
8:15 a.m.
• I’ve been meaning to tell this story for about a week but haven’t been motivated enough until now. While at the Chinese buffet last week, there were some people sitting next to us before the “shoe” family paid us a visit. There were two guys and one was bitching to the other about how in California cops will go into a bar’s parking lot and mark up a car’s tire. This acts like a time stamp, so the officers will know how long that car has been parked there. If a person leaves in a car that’s been there for several hours they will pull them over for a DUI test or something. This genius then said, “They can’t do that – that’s ENTRAPMENT.” Now regardless of your opinion of this police procedure, this is not “entrapment.” But wait, I’m not a lawyer. Could I be wrong? I took this case over to our newly bar-accepted ambulance chaser Vyce and asked for his opinion. This is what he said:
Now I also mentioned to the better half my example of how the above-mentioned police tactics could have a case of being entrapment, which was if the cops opened up a bar/drink stand offering free drinks for six hours. When the people drink up and drive off other cops stationed nearby who have been watching the whole thing pull them over. Was my spur-of-the-moment exaample a case of entrapment due to "police" offering "free" drinks? Here's what Vyce said.
I got into an argument with my co-worker over this because he felt this was wrong for the police to do. Personally, I don’t’ care. My co-worker said, “Well, what if they pull someone over who was working or wasn’t drinking?” My response: “Then all they have to do is walk a straight line.” I guess I’m nothing more than a goose-stepping pawn of the State, but I’m actually glad cops do this. I got pulled over one time when I was in high school, and the police thought I might have been drinking. I took a turn wide and went through a stop sign I didn’t see due to driving in an unfamiliar area. I also had several passengers with me, so I’m sure the po-pos were thinking we had just come from a party or something. They had me do the nose-touching thing and the walk-straight thing. I was cooperative and that was the end of it. Yeah, I got a ticket, but I didn’t fight it, even though I might have had a case. The reason? I still had my junior license, which prohibits anyone under the age of 18 from driving past midnight, and it was well into the witching hour when I got pulled over. I just paid the $90 and went on with life.
8:30 p.m.
• So yesterday I did a bunch of yardwork. Well, maybe not as much as a Mexican is capable of doing, but whatever. Even though I got slightly singed from Mr. Sun, I thought I came out of it all in reasonably good condition. But then I forgot about the ever-dreaded day after. Holy fuck. Every part of my body aches and I feel like total shit. Wow I really must be getting old. Back in my day I was able to do an afternoon’s worth of manual labor and … well, I still felt like this the day after, even during my teen years. Guess I’ve been a lazy bastard all along. Then again, perhaps us crackers aren’t meant for this kind of rough-and-tumble treatment, or at least white people living within their means. Perhaps Racist Dusty was right all along.
• With baseball season recently under way, I’ve been feeling the urge to play MVP ’05 once again. Funny thing is I’m only into mid-May in Year 1 of my franchise mode. Why haven’t I gotten all that far in my 120-year dynasty? Because I’m a sap and I like playing all my minor-league teams. I don’t know why – it’s just more enjoyable to split time with the Lynchburg Hillcats, Altoona Curve, Indianapolis Indians and Pirates. In fact, many times I have more fun playing the minor-league teams. Take yesterday for example. While playing my Single-A Hillcats, who were in the midst of a four-game losing streak, against some team I’ve never heard of before. I was down by a score of 4-1 in the bottom of the ninth. I’ve managed to get on base several times, but I wasn’t able to cash in any of the runners. Then with two outs my star player hit a three-run homer to send the game into extra innings. In the bottom of the 10th I ended it with a walk-off bomb from my centerfielder – his first of the year. Fun times.
• Now the obvious punchline to this one is “Who can miss yours, Rosie?” but you people have come to expect more from me.
I’m sure Rosie can use her “fair share” by issuing some “TP Credits” that will limit the wiping materials of others willing to make the sacrifice for a cleaner Mother Earth.
• Awwwww.
Boo-Hoo.
I got an idea. Put someone under with anesthesia, stick a gun in their mouth and pull the trigger.
• Wait, wha-?
Follow-up tests on a backup urine sample? Just how many times do these people have to pee in a cup?
• More than 92,000 show up to watch a spring football game?
Seriously, it’s time to get a professional team down there. Or some hobbies.
3 p.m.
• I always hear you liberals bitch about us evil right-wingers wanting to be all up in your business when it comes to you your bedroom activity. OK then. I’ll stay out of your bedroom, but get the hell away from my bathroom.
It’s bad enough you bitches leave us stuck with those gaywad enviro-friendly toilets, which require you to flush three times as many times in order to get a “deposit” certified as it would if I was using a manly shitter. You know, the kind that gives your privates a refreshing breeze afterward because of its sheer power. Then again, if you commies ever get some sort of toilet paper rationing legislation signed into law, I’ll be more than happy to wipe my browneye with your CD covers.
1 p.m.
• We all know some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male (just name it, and it'll probably be true), but what about this religion's young-ins? Let the list begin.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 28: Gert T
Along with being kkk Bowl I champ, Gert T shares a common bond with me and hawk34/choken/whoever. Whenever I speak of my time in Middletown, Ohio, he actually knows what I’m talking about. This is not a good thing. Then again, there’s something special about many of the experiences I had in this little southwestern Ohio city, such as this one.
It was an early summer evening and I had some of my cats out on their leashes exploring the front yard. Yes, they had leashes (I still have them, although they haven’t been used in years). Anyway, this black lady is walking down the street and the following conversation takes place.
Her: “You got any cigarettes?”
Me: “No.”
Her: “You got any alcohol?”
Me: “No.”
Her: “You got any weed?”
Me: “No.”
Her: “You no fun.”
Me: *Reels in cats before she tries to sell them for crack.*
She walked down the block and stopped to talk to these two black guys who pulled up next to her in their hooptie. Oh Middletown. What was I talking about again?
3 p.m.
• OK, so I work on the first floor of a three-floor building. A while back the owners of this building (their business is on the second floor) decided to remodel the first-floor bathrooms. It was ladies first, and for several weeks (Or was it more than a month? Who knows, who cares.) all the bitches on my floor had to walk up a floor in order to pinch a load. Trust me, if I were a chick I’d rather walk up and down a flight of stairs to pee than do my business in this men’s room. I always hold my breath when going in this room to pee due to the funk some of my floormates emanate while reading the newspaper when on the shitter. Well, now it’s the guy’s turn to be without a floor potty. Now I’m a man of rules. I recently scolded LessoninMachismo via PM for breaking the express lane’s 20 items or less code of conduct. I punch myself in the shoulder when I forget to put on my turn signal when changing lanes on a somewhat busy multi-lane road. But so far this week I’ve crept into the ladies room in the early morning whenever I have to go number one after drinking my two daily 8 oz. morning beverage – the two women on this floor don’t get in into after 8 a.m., and my early morning urination takes place well over an hour before any of them arrive. Out of consideration, I’ll sit down to do my business because a man’s penis is like a leaky fire hose. God only knows where the pee will fly once it makes its way out. That's why I like urinals. It's like going against a wall. If there's some side squirting, then chances are the porcelain wall will be able to catch it the wayward pee. Anyway, the last few mornings when I’ve snuck in the women's room I have seen that the toilet bowls had urine caked on them. This means one of two things: 1) the two chicks that use this bathroom have some squirting issues, or 2) the other guys who are too lazy to walk up a set of stairs to urinate spray and don’t clean up. Come on guys, if you’re going to use the ladies room, at least show some considerations for those that have no chance but to squat. And who says I’m not looking out for the ladies? Oh, and this crusty waste also means that this building's cleaning staff does jack shit, but I could have told you that already.
12:15 p.m.
• My workplace DSL is being moody today, so at around 11 a.m. I decided to give Dennis Miller's new radio show a listen instead of my usual morning program. Not bad. Not great. But not bad. This will definitely be playing (for as long as it's on the air) as a second option for my RIGHT-WING RADIO late-morning/early afternoon listening pleasure. I can't remember the last time I listened to Glenn Beck -- please note I'm not complaining about this.
8:15 a.m.
• This got a laugh out of me a few days ago. From Boortz's Web site
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 27: Porter
Aside from being a fixture in the always-competitive AFC West Division of my kkk Bowl league, Porter has been more than accommodating on AIM whenever I’ve had a question (or seven) about MVP Baseball 2005. And believe me, I’ve taken advantage of this resource available to me. But I’m not the only poster he tries to help out – he’s been a spokesperson for the then-suspended-now-banned-Damaramu. I also agree with him regarding Bob Ryan looking out of place on “Around the Horn.” I remember him as a fixture on the Sports Reporters (not sure how often he is on there nowadays), and when he doesn’t appear bored on ATH, he doesn’t look all that thrilled about being on the panel.
And now a word or two from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From Cancer Marney:
From SFA Jack:
2 p.m.
• Oh the joys of carpooling. There are a number of times when I have to stay late to pick up the better half from her job. OK. I stayed 90 minutes late yesterday because one of her crazy people came in late (big surprise) for an interview. Because of this we are leaving early today from our jobs. Did I say we are leaving early? I meant I'm waiting for her to return my "time to leave" call. Christ, I'm so checked out of the door right now it's not funny. I've been calling her voice mail for non-stop for the last 15 minutes leaving messages. I've never done the "psycho spouse calling every 10 seconds" routine before, but I figured I might as well see how fast I can type this entry while dialing her work number and leaving messages. I was able to do three while typing.
1:30 p.m.
• Remember all that stuff I said about number-eight seeds beating number-one seeds in the NBA playoffs a while back?
Nevermind.
Remember my NBA Playoff predictions from a while back?
Nevermind.
Wow. Just wow. And fittingly, like any Don Nelson Golden State team, this one as well won’t make it out of the second round. Why do I have a feeling I’ll be referencing this thread a week or two from now?
• Well the Republican Presidential hopefuls debated last night. Don’t care. Didn’t watch it. Why waste my time listening to a bunch of crap that the Party had a chance to do for the last dozen years? It doesn’t matter who gets nominated, I’ll be voting for them against Hitlery or Barack Osama.
• So the U.S. is electing commies and the Frenchies are electing conservatives?
I know nothing about what’s going on over there, but I’m sure “right-wing” over in France means, “We only want to tax you at 85 percent instead of 90 percent.” Either way, if this guy wins there have been threats of rioting. Oh that should be fun. Unless they are Muslims, I don’t see any of these unruly Europeans rioting for longer than six hours per workday. That is unless the topic du jour involves soccer [or football for those across the Pond].
• I kept my mouth shut about that Cardinals pitcher who crashed into a tow truck a week or so ago because I wanted to see if he was shit-faced or not. Now I know.
Fuck him. Congrats, ESPN, for having a special edition of "Baseball Tonight" for this shithead who could have killed someone besides himself. I don't care what his ERA is or how many wins and championships he has racked up. Thank God he only offed himself.
8:45 p.m.
• Speaking of road rage (see 4 p.m. entry), I forgot about this little gem of a story from last week. As I was driving on the Parkway West this guy in some silver car was tailgating me. Seeing how I was in the right lane and going 10 mph over the speed limit, I did what I always do in this situation. I put on the brakes. Once we went through these nearby tunnels, this guy decided to pass me, and pass me he did. He passed me so fast you could hear the “vroom vroom” as he began his passage. Boy did he sure pass me. However, the red pickup truck in front of me wasn’t aware of the other guy’s passing, and when the red truck decided to go into the lane the “vroom” guy was passing me up on, a whole bunch of hilarity ensued. They were literally inches away from getting into a rather serious accident. I would have loved to have been a witness at this accident. “Yes, officer, I saw it all. The guy in the gray car was gong well over the speed limit to pass me up almost ran into the driver in the red truck who didn’t put on his turn signal as he switched lanes.”
• So rooting against Barry Bonds is RACIST? Only from an ESPN poll.
Do I hate Barry Bonds? You bet. Did he use roids? Probably. Do I care? Absolutely not. My favorite part of this whole story is Hank Aaron not caring one bit about Bonds’ homer chase. I’m sure the same black people who don’t believe Bonds took roids are probably the same ones who think the LAPD set up O.J. Simpson when his ex-wife died at the hands of some Puerto Rican guy.
4 p.m.
• Well this was interesting. I was driving home from work this afternoon when I encountered an … interesting road rage moment. In order to get onto the Parkway West inbound – the first leg of my weekday journey home – I have to first merge onto this stretch of interstate. Now my rule on letting people merge into my lane may seem cruel, but it’s for the greater good. If there is no room for you to merge, you wait until there’s an opening. I’m not slowing down at risk of getting rear-ended by someone going twice the speed limit just so you can shave 30 seconds off your commute. “But kkk,” you may ask, “you just said you were waiting to merge, not the other way around.” True. And I try to practice what I preach. If there is no opening for me, I’ll wait. As I was waiting an opening presented itself, which I began to speed up for. However, at that time an aqua sports car zoomed out of one lane into the lane I was about to get into. No problem, I thought, I’ll just go in my merging lane and wait for this idiot to pass me, at which time I’ll get on the interstate behind him. I did this. This person got to continue driving way over the 55 mph speed limit, I got to safely merge onto the parkway, and I didn’t get to cause any OUTRAGE with someone who would have claimed I had cut her off. Fine and dandy for all.
Or so I thought.
As the bitch passed me and I got in the lane right behind her, she flipped me off. Wha-wha-what? Now normally this is the time where I fight back, but I let this one slide. I must have let this go because of the weather. Clear skies, no humidity, plenty of sun. Oh if it could only be like this all the time.
8 p.m.
• So today was primary day in my state, and this usually means a boring day at the polls. Not this time.
I have no clue who is running for what locally in these primaries. It really doesn’t matter anyway, considering the same candidates are on both tickets. However, I wanted to vote on two referendums. The first dealt with Fast Eddie’s desire to raise my taxes again. Fuck you, you piece of shit. You’re going to raise my taxes anyway, you rat bastard – there’s no way in hell I’m going to vote for it. Of course I voted “no” on this. However, the second referendum dealt with funding for our local hippie library. Want to know what I think about this issue? Peep this. Well, as I was walking into to the polling place, this woman was standing outside the fire hall entrance, and I knew she was going to pimp trying to keep this hippie library open. I try to treat these people the same way I treat children and those kiosk people at the mall. I ignore them. However, if they approach and fire the first shot, then I will fire back. Today was one of those days. Here’s how the exchange went.
“Do you have any questions about *name of ballot issue*?” She then handed me a flyer telling me to vote “No,” which means keeping funding as-is for the library.
“No. I’m voting to close it down,” and without missing a beat I head straight into the polling place.
Game. Set Match.
After several minutes, the better half stormed into the polling place, slapped me on my shoulder and said “what the hell is wrong with you?” I said, “what?” However, I knew what was coming because I heard that woman say Mrs. kkk "is he serious?"
Mrs. kkk: “Did you see the look on that woman’s face.”
Me: “No, why?”
Mrs. kkk: “She said to me ‘is he serious?’ and then asked me if I was your wife.”
Me: “And what did you say?”
Mrs. kkk: “I have never been so embarrassed in my life.”
Too fucking bad. If you’re one of those grassroots lobbyists, then you better be prepared to deal with people that disagree with you. If you can’t take it, then get the fuck out of my way and let me cast my vote. I’m not going to cower because some person isn’t going to agree with my opinion. If you want to make your issue preference known, then I will, too. Oh, and I voted for some right-wing judge for state supreme court. The other candidates I didn’t vote for because I didn’t know who they were. But this wasn’t the only instance today in which I pissed off the better half…
kkk twin-spin
After voting against the library so grandma will have to get internet access on her own, it was time for grocery shopping. Now Mrs. kkk wanted to get two 24 packs of Pepsi for $10 because her church is having some “burger bash” fundraiser, and they were in need of beverages to sell for $1 a piece. The following conversation took place in the parking lot.
Me: “So we’re getting $10 of pop so your church can gouge its customers?”
Mrs. kkk: “It’s for a good cause.”
Me: “So your church is telling you to take a can of pop you bought for twenty cents and mark-up the price fivefold. What would Jesus think?”
Mrs. kkk:“*something about how Jesus would approve or something*”
Me: “I’d like to know how much he charged when he made all that bread and fish. Overcharging Jews; no wonder he got crucified.”
Mrs. kkk: “That is so wrong on so many levels.”
Oh, and the better half voted for the library. Bitch.
9 p.m.
• Well, here comes the invasion.
Oh who the hell am I kidding? They are already here. And these next two sentences from this next snippet make me feel soooo much better.
I expect Democrats to endorse this attack on America, but any Republican which agrees to this deserves to be booted out of office. (And don't even get me started on W.) I wonder what party these Mexicans will register with? Bye-bye, GOP. Then again, I shouldn't be so doom-and-gloom. You think any illegal is going to agree to this?
6 p.m.
• Looks like the Titans are interested in Keyshawn Johnson.
Good for him. Part of me felt bad for him when his replacement was drafted (I have no idea what his name is at this moment) and he had to sit there and go, “Boy I can’t wait to mentor this guy.” I wonder if he knew his Carolina stint was at an end there and was just playing for the camera?
1:30 p.m.
• One of the biggest stories of the NBA Playoffs, besides the Mavs losing in the first round, involves the recent pesudo beanch clearing that took place in Game 4 of the Suns/Spurs series. For those that don't know what happened, here you go:
The Spurs won Game 5 and are now up 3-2 in the series. I've heard several sports people comment on this, and from all perspectives.
"Rules are rules."
"Spurs play dirty. If Bruce Bowen would have been suspended for trying to hurt Stoudemire the Suns wouldn't have been on edge like they were."
I think I'm falling in the "If you don't change the rule, then you must enforce it" group. Over the last decade or so, the NBA has had to deal with bench-clearing fights, and I guess this rule of not leaving the bench is supposed to fight against this. However, when your team's franchise player is rammed into the scorer's table, I would certainly hope his teammates would respond by heading over there rather than just sitting there going, "Ohhh, look at all the pretty lights." It seems like this rule should be subject to interpretation, but from what I read it's not. So oh well. Maybe if Stoudemire hated Nash he wouldn't have cared that he got assaulted. Damn you for giving a shit about your teammates. I am hoping Phoenix wins the next two games, though.
7 a.m.
• So I was watching the TNT halftime show between the Cavs and Nets, and Ernie Johnson's family was in the studio. I guess his son has some sort of condition due to the fact he was wheelchair-bound and all that. No, I'm not going to crack on his kid or make some retard jokes. Instead, I LOL'd when Ernie said that his son's wheelchair was "tricked out" courtesy of some business/person whose name escapes me. Now that's one kick-ass dad...
...except for, of course, giving his son the retard gene.
And I was so close.
