By this time I think I was at around Page 4 when filling out the PC's electronic form.
Disagree.
AHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA. Oh, wait. They were serious with this question.
Agree.
They shouldn’t, but they do. And there are politicians out there who have no qualms with pandering to these leeches.
Disagree.
I don’t know how to answer this one. It might be good for you not to obsess over it every waking minute of your life, but to pretend it doesn’t exist? I’ll have to go with “Disagree” on this one.
Disagree.
Interesting. I think there are plenty of language, cultural and social barriers to prevent a large number of first-generation immigrants from being fully integrated, but I don’t think it would be impossible. Besides, what is “fully” integrated mean anyway? Just speak English and you should be fine. OMG what a RACIST thing to say.
Disagree.
You mean amassing debt in the case for future growth/gains? No thank you. And get that “always” out of there while you’re at it.
Agree.
Well, if it’s a state-run broadcast then naturally it’ll receive public funding. However, if you’re talking about PBS or NPR, then get those bitches off sucking my teet. And just who determines if a broadcasting institution is “independent”? Bill Moyers?
Disagree.
Now if W. ever meets me and says, “How was that extra cheese pizza you ordered from Luigi’s the other night?” I might change my answer.
Agree.
Well you do get things done quicker – like baking Jews.
Agree.
If you want to secretly videotape me taking a crap, I would like to have it back eventually so I can sell it on the internet and make some money; I hear there are some niche markets for this sort of thing. I might consider being worried by other private parties spying on me, but the word “official” tells me that this is about W. spying on you. While I’m on this subject, for all those people not named Mohammad that are bitching the government has got its eyes on you; you ought to be thrilled that these people find you important and noteworthy enough to set up cameras within your residence.
Agree.
If you are caught on one of these official surveillance cameras killing someone in cold blood, you should die minutes after the jury finds you guilty.
Developing...
• One of the fun things about watching a movie you’ve already seen with someone who’s viewing it for the first time is listening to their guesses about how the film’s plot will unfold. A few nights ago the better half and I were watching “Saw.” While I had already seen this film several times already, this was her virgin excursion. Warning: SPOILERZ AHEAD. Toward the end where that orderly was being chased by Danny Glover’s character, Mrs. kkk began saying how there just had to be more than one person in on this conspiracy to put people in death contraptions. I just let her continue with her hypothesis of who the real killers were. When it was finally revealed that there was only one Jigsaw, and he was that patient in the hospital, without missing a beat she said, “I knew it had to be that old guy all along.” That old guy who was only shown on screen for about a second lying on a hospital bed? Uh-huh. In regards to the actual movie itself, I didn’t think “Saw” was that bad. It wasn’t as great as some people made it out to be, but it was nice for what it was. I haven’t seen the two sequels yet; “Saw II” is one of those films I’ll get around to one of these days, and I’m not even thinking about the third installment. Oh, and here’s a tip for all married guys – even when you are describing anyone of the opposite sex just to help your better half identify who this person is, don’t do it. Now I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but whenever the better half has asked me which celebrities do I think are attractive, I keep my mouth shut. However, last night I was off my A Game. Here’s the conversation that took place during “Saw’s” opening credits:
Learn from my mistakes. Lord knows I make enough of them.
• So it looks like Joe Torre is getting a stay of execution from George Steinbrenner. Whatever. I don’t care. Actually, I thought it’d be funny to have Lou Pinella come in and tear some shit up; it worked for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers when Tony Dungy got fired from that team and they brought in John Gruden. Now I’m a huge Dungy fan, but that team just couldn’t get to the next level. Tony took a historically terrible franchise and turned it around to where it was a playoff contender. However, whenever playoff time came, the Bucs just couldn’t get it done. When Gruden came in, he lit a fire just long enough to give Tampa Bay its first Super Bowl win. So even if Torre got fired this off-season in favor of Hothead Lou, I might not have agreed with the front-office decision, but I would have understood it.
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This 19-year old girl says that she’s been seeing this guy off-and-on for three years and now she’s knocked up. Mr. Right says that he wants to see other people and has sex with other women before coming back home to have sex with her. When asked why she’s with this guy, the caller’s response is, “he said he loves me.” When the subject of getting that baby to an adoption agency comes up, the caller replies that she has “other ideas” because “my sister had one when she was 16.” Oh, and also because Mr. Right has told the caller that he wants to be there for the baby, too.
(7.5) Baltimore at Tennessee. Incorrect.
Well, I pulled a Democrat comparison with Steve McNair going against the evil corporate giant that screwed him over, and in true union fashion Ravens didn’t put in that much actual work and failed to cover the spread.
Buffalo at Indianapolis (12.5). Correct.
Woo-hoo, go Colts. Keep winning those close games that the experts predict you to win handedly.
Chicago at N.Y. Giants (2.5). Correct
At first I was worried that the Bears would continue playing a bit sub par, but thank goodness for 100-yard botched field goal touchdown returns.
Cleveland at Atlanta (7.5). Incorrect
So Atlanta loses to the Lions AND the Browns? I don’t care what the team is they face next, if I bet against the Falcons I know they’ll win just to piss me off.
Green Bay at Minnesota (5.5). Incorrect
Wow. Bret Favre goes 24 for 42 with 347 yards, two touchdowns and no interceptions. In Minnesota? Who the hell could see that coming?
Houston at Jacksonville (10.5). Correct.
What the hell is up with Jacksonville? They struggle to beat the Texans at Houston, then they outright lose to the same team in their own stadium. Well, it is a divisional game, and anything can happen in these instances.
(1.5) Kansas City at Miami. Incorrect.
Perhaps the Dolphins can lobby the league to start the regular season in November, which is when they seem to get hot.
New Orleans at Pittsburgh (4.5). Incorrect.
I watched the first part of this game and thought the Saints would outscore the Steelers. When I tuned in later and saw the score to be 38-31 in favor of the home team, I shook my head. Granted the Steelers aren’t as bad as their record indicates (in my opinion), but perhaps now we’ll see if the Saints are really as good as their record shows.
N.Y. Jets at New England (10.5). Incorrect.
Props to the Jets head coach. He may be an asshole to the media, but it looks like he’s getting the most out of this team and they have seemed to be competitive in a number of games they have lost.
(1.5) San Diego at Cincinnati. Correct.
I watched this game’s second half, and it was the most entertaining football I’ve seen in some time. What the hell is up with the Bengals? I can understand them losing a game against a good team, but now they are below .500? I didn’t realize that until now.
San Francisco at Detroit (6.5). Correct.
I have to laugh that Detroit would be favored by nearly a touchdown against any team.
Washington at Philadelphia (7.5). Correct.
The Eagles came to play. The Redskins came to … uh, raid the hotel mini bar?
(9.5) Denver at Oakland. Correct.
I have to wonder if Denver is pulling an “Indy” and just coasting to bad teams, or if this is proof that the Broncos will have a shortened playoff run, if they indeed make the postseason?
(7.5) Dallas at Arizona. Correct.
Dallas plays crappy team. Dallas wins.
St. Louis at Seattle (3.5). Incorrect.
Shit. I thought the Seahawks would be able to cover.
Tampa Bay at Carolina (9.5). Correct.
I saw the first part of this game and was regretting my choice. When I woke up the next morning I had to do a double-take when I found out the Panthers covered.
This week’s record: 9-7. Cumulate record: 69-75
I actually had a winning record. Yippie.
For the new year, I'm going to be trying something different. Instead of waiting until the end of the day to post an entry, I'm gong to post whenever I feel like it throughout the day. When I "finalize" an entry, I will give it a title.
11 p.m.
• Well, I guess Michigan can stop bitching about how they were Jewed out of playing for the BcS "National Title Game."
• Dennis Green and Jim Mora Jr. got canned from their respective NFL head coaching gigs. You know, when I first heard a few years back that Green would be taking over the helm at Arizona I actually thought he would have have a chance at turning around that time. Then after five seconds my thoughts turned to something more plausible -- like establishing colonies on Mars. Regarding Mora, eh.
• Years ago I bought these four-player checker and chess boards, and the few times I used them the games got REALLY confusing. I can't imagine a three-way with ping-pong balls would be much less chaotic.
5 p.m.
Just heard Bobby Knight finally passed Dean Smith for most wins by a Division One college basketball coach. Good. I like Knight. Sure he's an asshole, but that's why I like him.
3 p.m.
For those that follow my kkk Bowl IV contest, here are the regular-season standings.
Final Standings
AFC EAST
* Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 < PF: 119, PA: 111, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 >
New York Jets (Gert T) 8-8 < PF: 113, PA: 112, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 >
New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 7-8-1 < PF: 116, PA: 106, AFC: 3-8-1, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 1-5 >
Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 5-11 < PF: 117, PA: 122, AFC: 4-8, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 4-2 >
AFC NORTH
* Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4 < PF: 113, PA: 103, AFC: 10-2, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 >
Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 8-7-1 < PF: 110, PA: 108, AFC: 6-5-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 >
Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 7-8-1 < PF: 112, PA: 114, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-4-1 >
Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 6-9-1 < PF: 109, PA: 127, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 3-3 >
AFC SOUTH
* Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6 < PF: 111, PA: 110, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 4-2 >
* Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 113, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-3 >
* Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 < PF: 118, PA: 123, AFC: 5-7, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 3-3 >
Houston Texans (Bored) 7-9 < PF: 115, PA: 116, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 2-4 >
AFC WEST
* Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 < PF: 118, PA: 111, AFC: 6-5-1 NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-2-1 >
Oakland Raiders (Smues) 8-8 < PF: 127, PA: 120, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 4-2 >
Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 8-8 < PF: 112, PA: 115, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 >
San Diego Chargers (Porter) 7-8-1 < PF: 118, PA: 126, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 >
NFC EAST
* Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 < PF: 123, PA: 116, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-3-1, DIV: 5-1 >
New York Giants (Cartman) 7-9 < PF: 113, PA: 121, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 3-3 >
Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-9 < PF: 103, PA: 113, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 2-4 >
Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 5-11 < PF: 107, PA: 123, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 4-9, DIV: 3-3 >
NFC NORTH
* Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5 < PF: 123, PA: 107, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 3-3 >
* Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 < PF: 97, PA: 103, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 5-1 >
* Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 112, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 4-2 >
Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 5-11 < PF: 103, PA: 120, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 2-10, DIV: 1-5 >
NFC SOUTH
* Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4 < PF: 134, PA: 113, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 6-0 >
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 9-7 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 3-3 >
New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 6-9-1 < PF: 118, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 4-7-1, DIV: 2-4 >
Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 5-11 < PF: 113, PA: 122 AFC: 2-2, NFC: 3-9, DIV: 1-5 >
NFC WEST
* Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8 < PF: 121, PA: 111, AFC: 1-3 NFC: 7-5, DIV: 5-1 >
Seattle Seahawks (Chazz 1998) 8-8 < PF: 119, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 4-2 >
St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 7-9 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 4-8, DIV: 0-6 >
San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 6-10 < PF: 106, PA: 122, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 5-7, DIV: 3-3 >
PLAYOFF SEEDINGS:
AFC:
1) Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4
2) Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6
3) Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1
4) Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7
5) Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7
6) Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7
Notes:
IND and TEN split their regular-season series and have the same DIV record. IND gets the higher seed due to a better Conference record.
Wild Card Weekend:
Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 @ Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1
Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 @ Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7
NFC:
1) Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4
2) Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5
3) Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1
4) Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8
5) Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7
6) Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7
Notes:
1) GB and MIN split their regular-season series (I first thought MIN swept the series). GB has the better divisional record.
2) GB and MIN both have a better Conference record than TB.
3) AZ and SEA split their regular-season series. AZ has the better divisional record.
Wild Card Weekend:
Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 @ Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1
Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 @ Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8
9:15 p.m.
• Woo-hoo, I'm sticking it to the European nations by getting Mrs. kkk preggers.
But how many of these births are from Mexicans?
Wow. I thought that number would be more.
Huh -- Poor education? And LOL regarding the poverty and abortion reasons.
9:30 p.m.
• A nearby town made the big-time. In a bad way.
This is one media story I believe. Aliquippa is a shit hole.
• As if gas prices weren't high enough.
You know, when don't we have a "looming crisis"? Well, there's one good thing to all this. If the federal gas tax would happen, the media and Democrats would lay off talking about high gas prices. After all, these increase are for the greater good. And I'm sure all this extra money wouldn't be wasted. No siree.
10:15 p.m.
• Oh for fuck's sake. I hate these people.
OK, I'll side with them on this one issue. Having the "silence" at the start of third period is stupid. My school had it during homeroom before classes started right after the Pledge of Allegiance.
Ha. "Changed jsut a single word," that's a pretty big change.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the only thing I hate more than a Bible-thumper are these fags who get their panties in a knot over stupid shit like this. "Awkward position"? Here's how it was done at my school:
Homeroom bell rings.
Stand and do the Pledge. Something I once created a stink about. Yeah, I'm a terrorist.
The announcer guy says "Please remain standing for a short moment of silence."
*several seconds pass*
"Please be seated."
OMG THE RELIGIOUS REICH IS TAKING OVER~!
N*gga plz. During this brief moment of silence I was either nodding off because it was too early in the morning to think or I was looking at some nearby chick’s rack or backside. I’m sure there were other students that actually used this time to pray or say “what up” to their Deity of choice. Big fucking deal. Get over yourselves.
8:45 p.m.
• So today was the better half big “pizza open house” or whatever brown-nosing stunt her boss was trying to accomplish at work today. Now Mrs. kkk told me that a whole bunch of academic assholes showed up and began talking about how the U.S. tortures innocent people, starves children and all that other left-wing shit those with no experience in the real world chat about. On a side note, the better half’s co-worker asked her why I wasn’t at this event on my day off from work. Mrs. kkk’s response: If he was here he wouldn’t be asked back. Awesome. Oddly enough, if I’m at an event that’s not an informal get-together between people I know, I generally keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to ruin a host’s brouhaha. However, there are times when I will open my mouth, and this might have been one of those times. Actually, I want to meet the wife’s boss and hope she spews some of this commie shit with me because I’ll throw right back at her. What I love about pissing someone off regarding this sort of thing is that I really don’t care what their opinion is. Seriously. So what if someone you’re talking to doesn’t like the person you voted for in the last election. If you get legitimately mad over a person’s thoughts it that means you on some level take to heart what they think. That’s pathetic.
One pseudo-example of this experiences over the years has been when the topic of abortion is brought up. I mean, just because you say “murder the unborn” people get all bent out of shape. Uh, am I advocating the halting of sucking potential Social Security contributors from wombs and dumping them in the trash? No. I am simply calling a spade a spade. But yet I’ve had people go WOMEN’S REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS GWARRRR~! Yay. Here’s the point: I don’t CARE what you think. You want to advocate the killing of innocent babies – knock yourself out. What you think doesn’t matter to me. I’m more concerned about effectively wiping my browneye after taking a shit than your opinion on abortion or any other subject.
Where was I going with this? Oh, that mixer. So Mrs. kkk then made my week by telling my that her Ph.D. boss fucked up making a SALAD for this “open house.” She asked me to guess how she was able to achieve this remarkable feat. My first guess was not getting enough salad. Wrong. Mrs. kkk then said that she made it last night, and that’s when I responded “Good God she didn’t put the salad dressing on then, did she?” Yep.
How the fuck does this person make six figures? I think a great reality show would be to get a bunch of academics and for them to survive in the real world. “I’ve worked for the private sector – they expect results.”
Oh, I forgot to mention some other topics that were discussed at this workplace gathering by these Ph.D.’s was how religion was the cause of addiction and that we should live in a society where there’s no mores or rules. This was around the time Mrs. kkk left the room and went back into her office. This also would have been the time I probably would have opened my mouth, which would have resulted in mass exodus 5-10 minutes later.
7 p.m.
• So on the drive home from work today we passed up this place that always has politically incorrect stuff on its marquee. I know I talked about this bar/restaurant before, but I can’t find it when I performed a search. Anyway, there is also this listing for upcoming local bands that will be playing there, and with that I give you the latest chat I shared with Mrs. kkk. You can figure out who is who:
“Hey, do you spell ‘Van Halen’ as ‘H-e-l-o-n?”
“No.”
“Is it ‘H-e-l-e-n’?”
“No.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Well then what is it?”
“H-a-l-e-n?”
“That’s what I said.”
“No. You said ‘H-e-l-e-n.”
“Well you know what I meant.”
“…”
Oh, and here’s a video montage of some of this guy’s signs.
• Remember "Wet Back Wednesday"? Here's a
Oddly enough, it was in that little "More From" column next to the first video posted in this entry. And it just wouldn't be a Shittsburgh video without some guy in a Steelers hat.
• So that shithead who has been on the run for months, shooting several police officers and killing one, has finally been caught. Good. Fuck him. And fuck his family members who (allegedly) aided in his avoiding the law. One question, though: why are the media including the “Bucky” into his name Ralph “Bucky” Phillips? I think "Ralph Phillips" or "Bucky Phillips" would do just fine. Is there another criminal named Ralph Phillips out there pissed off because "Bucky" is giving him a bad name? I could see having the "Bucky" in there when he first escaped because people from the areas where he used to live might know him by this nickname, but now he's caught. I think it's safe to say we can drop the "Bucky." And if someone needs the "Bucky" to realize who this douche is...
... then that person should have to apply for a license in order to breed.
• Two entries ago I commented on the pro-censorship Democrats who don’t want some hippie ABC 9/11 Docudrama to be aired and thought back to how a few years ago the roles were reversed with that stupid “Reagans” mini-series. Now I'm taking a trip down memory lane again thanks to an upcoming political ad that's going to be used in a Virginia Senatorial race.
Upon hearing this story, I’m reminded of how it was just a few years ago when a pro-tax cut group used John F. Kennedy in some ads back in March of 2001. What did I say about it back then? Let's take a trip to the arkkkives back on March 14, 2001:
Both dead presidents? Check.
Both being used for political gain by the other side? Check.
Run the Reagan ads and let the pundit-hysteria commence.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 52: The Max
This guy had a fling with another poster at this place, and from what I remember she was going to move to his region of the country and live happily ever after. Well, I don’t know what happened to happily ever after, but I’m sure that relationship wasn’t as messy as the aftermath of Hurricane Chuck. Also, he’s more than accommodating when you’re asking questions about NHL ’06.
• I heard on the radio the other day that with the NHL regular season starting up, the Penguins will have three teenagers on the ice for the first time in franchise history. In other news, former congressman Mark Foley is seeing if he's got any shot at a political office in Allegheny County. While I’m on this subject, now Foley says a clergyman molested him as a teen. Uh-huh. Oh, by the way...
OMG FAUX NEWS LOL2006!
• It’s not just congressmen who are using the “I was molested as a kid” excuse. Now this guy who killed those Amish kids said he was molested 20 years ago and that he was feeling the urge to fondle children again. I guess that’s why you brought sex toys with you into the school. Asshole. Why pick on the Amish? They are probably the most harmless people on the face of this earth. You can make fun of them, and how are they going to know? It’s not like they’re going to find out by television, radio or the Internet, and even if word should get out to them they’ll just forgive you anyway. If you want to kill Catholics because Father John touched your privates 30 years ago, or if you want to pick off some Jews because, well, they’re Jews, I’m sure there's a more-than-capable defense lawyer out there who would be able to spin your rough childhood to at least 2-3 members of a jury educated through a government school, but this is the freakin’ Amish. They ride around in horse-drawn buggies. How can you hate that? (Unless of course you are late for work and they are in front of you on a one-lane road.)
• So the U.S. is saying there is “no future” for a nuclear North Korea. Like there’s any kind of future for a non-nuclear North Korea.
• I didn't watch the Tigers/Yankees Game 2, but this is all I needed to know. Ugh.
• Man, if we ever did this in the United States, the National Debt could get wiped out in less than a year.
These goddamn NFL Network and their hippie weekday games have my schedule all out of whack. Bastards. And fuck you Bryant Gumbel. I had to listen to your godawful commentary during the Browns/Steelers game. What the fuck are you doing in football anyway? Get the hell out of here and leave the play-by-play to your brother, Greg.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (7.5) Incorrect.
Yeah, I got it wrong. But what I want to talk about is how Kellow Winslow landed a cheap shot on a Steelers linebacker only to have his bell run on the next play, dropping a sure catch. Then Joey Porter called him a fag after the game and gets fined. Way to go Joey. I’m being serious. Of course, should he knock him out of the next game they play, or commits a personal foul, I wonder if Porter could be accused of committing a hate crime.
(3.5) Atlanta at Tampa Bay. Incorrect
I have no idea what to say about this one.
Baltimore at Kansas City (2.5). Correct.
Wow. I didn’t know this was the first Chiefs loss at home in December in 10 years. Boy do I look smart now.
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets (4.5). Correct.
I forgot who won this game, so I had to look it up on NFL.com. I saw the score, saw who I picked and thought, “Why’d I do that?”
(1.5) Indianapolis at Jacksonville. Incorrect.
Well, now that the Jags finally beat their divisional big brother, I can now feel comfortable in picking them to outright win a game against the Colts.
Minnesota at Detroit (2.5). Correct.
I still don’t understand how the Lions were even favored in this one.
(3.5) New England at Miami. Incorrect.
Wow, the Pats got shut out. Um, that ain’t good.
New Orleans at Dallas (6.5). Incorrect.
From my prediction entry:
Yeah, that defense. OK then.
N.Y. Giants at Carolina (3.5). Incorrect.
Wow, and to think I thought the Panthers were Super Bowl contenders.
Oakland at Cincinnati (10.5). Correct.
The Raiders played a few teams tough this year, but I knew this would be a blow-out.
(1.5) Philadelphia at Washington. Correct.
Whew. Won this one by half-a-point.
Tennessee at Houston (1.5). Correct.
I’m glad Vince Young is doing OK this year. I don’t know what his stats are, but his team is playing better, and that’s all that matters.
Green Bay at San Francisco (5.5). Correct.
I have no idea what the Packers’ record is. Huh, 5-8.
(3.5) Seattle at Arizona. Incorrect.
First the Colts finally lose to the Jaguars, now Seattle can’t beat Arizona. Fiddlesticks.
Denver at San Diego (7.5). Incorrect.
Damn San Diego is looking good. Wouldn’t it be funny if the Chargers meet the Saints in the Super Bowl?
(6.5) Chicago at St. Louis. Incorrect.
I thought I made a good selection when I went to bed with the score still close. Then I saw the score the next morning and went “WTF?”
This week’s record: 7-9
Cumulative record: 100-108
Well, if I go perfect in today's games I’ll be at .500 for the season. Sure, why not?
6 p.m.
• The NHL playoffs are just hours away, so it’s time to make some pickkks. Let’s see, the only NHL players I recognize are those that played in the early 1990s. Oh this should be fun.
(1) Buffalo v. (8) NY Islanders – that one guy from Edmonton got traded over to New York for a playoff push and cried. Buffalo’s good. Buffalo in 5.
(2) New Jersey v. (7) Tampa Bay – Martin Brodeur is still doing his thing. It’s nice to have a good goalie this time of year. Devils in 5.
(3) Atlanta v. (6) NY Rangers – I have no clue who is on Atlanta’s team. The Rangers have Jagr. Rangers in 6.
(4) Ottawa v. (5) Shittsburgh – I’ve heard some sports people say this could be the best first-round series of the lot. Uh, yay. Ottawa never seems to win in the postseason. The Penguins haven’t been to the postseason for a few years. I dunno. Senators in 7.
(1) Detroit v. (8) Calgary – I’m sure Detroit’s pissed at losing in the first round last year. Detroit in 5.
(2) Anaheim v. (7) Minnesota – I have nothing. Ducks in 6.
(3) Vancouver v. (6) Dallas – Mike Modano is still playing? Sweet. Stars in 6.
(4) Nashville v. (5) San Jose – The Sharks got Joe Thornton last season from the Bruins. Wait a second, Nashville traded for Petr Forsberg this year. Nashville in 7.
Second Round:
Buffalo beats Ottawa in 6.
Jersey beats Rangers in 4.
Detroit beats Nashville in 7.
Anaheim beats Dallas in 5.
Third Round.
Jersey beats Buffalo in 7.
Detroit beats Anaheim in 6.
Stanley Cup.
Detroit beats Jersey in 6.
Can’t wait to see how off I am with these.
1 p.m.
• Don't you know that distributing hot cross buns is one of the worst things you can do to Muslim male?
Uh, um. Well, I guess it's not. One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns.
11:30 a.m.
• Not allowing a Coretta Scott King portrait at the Georgia State Capitol. It's a lot like Hitler Imus.
10 a.m.
• Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers:
#10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
#9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
#8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
#7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.
#6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.
#5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
#4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
#3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.
#2 - When they crash their cars, they bail and run.
#1 - They can't wear their helmets sideways.
9:30 p.m.
• Humor, huh?
Well let’s look and see how funny this ad is.
*Views ad*
Well, I’m sure EricMM has already wanked to it, but I found the ad to be fucking retarded. Let’s see what other "job interview" ads he’s done.
*Views ad*
OK, this one got a laugh out of me – I liked the “overqualified” line at the end.
How about we go to the other job interview ad.
*Views ad*
Uh, Bill, pimping that you were Secretary of Energy during the time of the Los Alamos scandal isn’t something I’d be pimping. Then again, I’m sure nobody remembers that.
Let’s try this one.
*Viewing ad*
OK, W. said similar crap when he was campaigning in 2000.
Wait, wha-? Say you want to get U.S. troops out of there. I understand. But heal?
Hard diplomatic work? Oh Jesus Christ. I should have quit while I was ahead.
6:30 p.m.
• OK, so I have never watched an episode of the Sopranos, but it was one of those shows that I have planned on getting the DVDs. The question is with all the bitching I’m hearing about the ending, is it worth it to get involved in this show now?
• Dennis Miller pissed me off today on his radio show. No, he didn’t say how great Hitlery is. Instead he was talking to Dana Carvey (I was listening to Friday’s show via the archives) and he said that he thought Carvey’s “grumpy old man” schtick was going to bomb when he first did the routine on weekend update. Oh bullshit. I loved the grumpy old man skits – that’s the way it was back then and WE LIKED IT!
• You can’t make this up.
Do I even need to do the obvious “making up the news” joke that you will normally find at this point in one of these entries?
• Whatever.
The headline is, in my opinion, a bit misleading. “Quit” isn’t quite the same as “retired.” Being a government employee, I'm sure he'll have a decent goodbye package. Regarding this guy who had TB – I hope that everyone he came into contact with sues him. After all, with this guy being a trial lawyer, I’m sure he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to take a few of these cases if some sap committed the same actions he did.
4:30 p.m.
• So Philly's mayor has nothing better to do on a workday than wait in line for an iPhone.
I remember for years this one guy with a mohawk always ran for office in Shittsburgh. He was named "Mad Dog." Interesting fellow.
9 a.m.
• So yesterday I left work early to do this interview thing. The place was 60 miles away, and I gave myself more than two hours to get there. Turns out I needed another 60 minutes due to road construction. OK, I get that roads need to be maintained, but when you shut down MILES of highway only to have FIVE people wearing shiny yellow jerseys standing around some 10-foot hole backing up miles of traffic, I can understand why some people get road rage in these instances. But that really wasn’t a problem for me on this day because when I arranged this interview earlier in the week I let the receptionist chick know that I was coming from a distance and had set up a time just in case of a mishap like this. I’ve done this shit enough times in the past to know things like so-called “work areas,” accidents and shoddy directions can happen. No problem. However, there were some other things that I expected to happen, and sadly I wasn’t let down.
When I got the call back early in the week from this place about the position I applied to, I had a list of questions I wanted answered right off the bat. After all, what’s the point of going through all this shit when I can nip it in the bud with an inquiry about the job from the comfort of my own home? Unfortunately, this chick (I’ll call her Kelly) had no idea how to answer my questions. Turns out she’s not a recruiter but the receptionist. However, I’m not going to rag on Kelly because during the phone conversation she told me she was recently hired and trying to learn while on the job. I can respect that. Never once was I rude, condescending or patronizing to her. The questions I had for her she tried her best to answer, and that’s all you can ask of a person. When I arranged for my interview, I asked what would be involved and what materials should I bring with me. I was told the whole procedure (including filling out the application form) would only take 30 minutes, and that all I needed to bring with me was my employment information for the last three years.
Yeah, right.
When I entered this place’s office, I saw some late-teen/early 20something sitting at a desk talking on the phone while wearing in a low-cut shirt and skimpy dress. After her work-related conversation ended, I replied, “Hello, you must be Kelly.” The reason for this is because not only did I recognize her voice, but I also noticed that there was a sheet of paper taped to the wall behind her that had all the information to the questions I had asked of her earlier in the week. Now this is where the fun really begins. Kelly asks me “Did you bring your driver’s license, social security card and birth certificate?”
She hands me the application I had to fill out, and, sure enough, the form asks me to fill out employment information not from the past three years, but rather from the past three employers. There was also a section for references, requesting names, addresses and all that good stuff. Sadly, I was ready for this sort of thing, because in the past when I dealt with these staffing organizations they had no clue as to what they were doing. As I filled out the form I was seated next to two women. At least one of them was interviewing for the same position I me. Now when you already have a job and are interviewing for another position, your demeanor is much more different than if you are unemployed and looking for work. Christ I hate that feeling. That sense of dread and all-or-nothingness. But when you know a paycheck is already coming to your bank account, your mood is much lighter. However, it seemed this chick was a bit on the nervous side, so I left her alone. The other gal, some black chick with an accent I couldn’t pinpoint, asked me for the time and then started fretting about the application she was filling out, mentioning that she had to be out of her by 4:30 p.m.. Uh, OK. The first chick got called to do a typing test and it was just me, the black chick and Kelly.
Let me tell you something about Kelly. If she wasn’t an example of a “Butterface,” I don’t know who is. From the minute you look at her from the neck down, you know why she got this job. Great figure, greater tan legs, not a large rack but perfectly in proportion to the rest of her body. Her face? Well. I didn’t look at it long enough because I didn’t want her to catch me staring, but I fear the poor girl has been battling acne for quite a long time. There was a crater/scab/whatever in the middle of her forehead so large that at first I wondered if it was one of those red dots Indian women put on themselves. But whatever. She was nice enough, and you could tell she was trying at her job, which, from my experiences, is a rarity at her type of employment. I even got a bit more information about the position out of her through cordial chitchat. (They were seeking several hirees and there were a number of cancelled appointments.) Of course, after I turned in the application, she then gave me some speling and grammer tests. Oh I hate these fucking things. Sad, isn’t it? I’m a JOURNALISM grad and I suck at the English language. I wasn’t as annoyed about actually taking these tests as I was at the fact this place was closing at 5 p.m. and the “half hour” I would be spending at this place was already past the 45-minute mark with the typing test and interview still to be completed. Well, long story short, after I completed these tests I went into another room and started typing. My score: 67 words per minute, 1 error. It was now just after 5 p.m. and the office was closed. I went with some other chick to do the interview, and at 5:45 p.m., 105 minutes after I showed up, I was out the door.
Did I get this job? Don’t really know. Don’t really care. I’ve done so many of these interviews in the past that I don’t concern myself with worrying about something I may have said or did to throw my chances of getting a job with the interviewer out the window. I’ve learned that in many instances the employer already has a set candidate in mind, and no matter what you do to prove yourself you’re just not “that fit.” Nothing personal. Just business. Funny enough, in many of these instances I’m also sitting at my side of the table thinking, “Do I really want to see you for eight hours a day, 40 hours a week?” I’ll find out sometime this week if I’ll be brought back for training, which is fine. Even if I don’t get this job, as I mentioned in yesterday’s entry, I have my resume and (surprisingly good) test scores seeded at this place, which does recruiting in my neck of the woods, away from Shittsburgh region. Ideally, I’d like to try out this at-home position as a second job, and if I like it perhaps I’ll be able to quit my current place of employment and focus solely on this one, which is a pay-for-what-you-produce type of thing. Either way, I got out of my office three hours early today, and if nothing else, this trip was worth it just for that alone.
• Nothing worth griping about today. Spending the day at work on the monthly publication. Like I’ve said before, I LOVE coming in on the weekend as opposed to trying to get this shit done during the workweek. I’m by myself, got AC/DC playing in the background, without the hassle of the idiot boss or phone calls, and I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt. No, I want the above-mentioned hassles along with that “DEADLINE” looming on the horizon. And to make matters better, I don’t have to come in on a workday sometime in this pay period (Right now I’m scoping August 24 or possibly the 27th.)
• Boy what a pussy.
Yeah, like what’s the big deal. It’s only an ANKLE. In the sport of SOCCER. He ought to man up and play through the pain. Grant Hill did and look how great his NBA career was afterward.
• Assuming this is true...
...it only makes me LOL even harder knowing that Richards' character in that one Bond film was a nuclear scientist, or something like that. It’s been years since I’ve watched “The World is Not Enough" so my memory is a bit hazy.
I was close enough. Look, I get that you have to suspend belief when watching television programs or movies, but this is a bit too much.
11:30 p.m.
• So I read this hippie op-ed column in the local paper earlier this week and it’s still on my mind. It’s some commie who used to work at CNN and he’s talking about how “liberalism” really doesn’t exist anymore and blah blah blah. The part that made me laugh (the most) was the following:
Sony silence? I guess your “conservative friends” aren’t that quick on the ball to respond by saying, “Sure, but only if I get my money back from the years I put into these Ponzi schemes.” I mean that “Well then don’t collect Social Security” attempt at shutting up Big Government dissenters is almost as easy to diffuse as when some idiot says, “If you’re against abortion how come you’re for capital punishment?” Then there’s the oldie but goldie “WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?!” (Uh, I don’t know about ol’ Jesus, but his old man was one heck of a hell raiser. Noah didn’t build that boat for nothing.)
11:59 p.m.
• This story has irked me for some time. Long story short: Back in ’04 my state Senator, some liberal faggot by the name of Alan Kukovich, lost to a Republican named Bob Regola. Now Regola really wasn’t a Republican – he had been a conservative Democrat but switched to the GOP ticket in hopes of beating this left-wing bitch in a general election rather than a primary. Shortly after this upset, some little shit named Louis Farrell, Regola’s 14-year old next door neighbor was found dead with Regola’s gun. Here’s the story for those that care:
Now I’ve said before I’m not a gun owner (although many a day goes by when I wonder why), but if you have a gun in your house for protection, wouldn’t it be pointless to lock it up? If it’s 3 a.m. and you hear someone breaking through your living room window, I don’t think you’d have enough time to wake up, get the key to your gun box, open the box, remove the trigger lock, put in the bullets and then go hunting for the person breaking into your house. To me this whole thing smells like a witch hunt and I will gladly vote for Regola should he run again. And this whole perjury thing isn’t jiving with me. OMG he first said the gun was under his kid’s bed then later under his bed. N*gga plz. I’m not defending him because of his party affiliation – I’m defending him because I think it’s bullshit that you can get in trouble for daring to have a weapon to protect your property easily accessible (it’s not like the gun was kept out on the living room coffee table next to the TV Guide). My only regret in this whole story is that that little bastard didn’t just lay down in front of a moving train. (That line went over REAL well a year or two ago when I was in a local doctor’s office with the better half, and some old guy, who made it obvious he didn’t care for Regola, was giving us his opinion on this matter.)
• Just heard on the radio that Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell is now bitching about the high gas prices and is calling for a “profit windfall tax.” Ha, you sack of shit. This coming from someone who jacked up the state gas tax a year or so ago. It’s funny that some of the biggest gougers when it comes to gas prices (state and federal government) are calling for an additional tax for when Big Oil makes “too much money.” It’s just like when the government tells us that we’re too fat. Meanwhile, the most obese, out-of-shape person I know is Uncle Sam. Oh, but Rendell is looking out for the little guy -- he's letting them work longer hours when delivering gas. If a Republican governor did this, the unions would have a shit-fit. Can't wait to see what these people say about Fast Eddie.
• Great, so the John Rocker of 2006 is going to be Keith Hernandez for saying "Women don’t belong in the dugout.” Now I didn’t listen to the audio of his comment, so I can’t say if he was joking or not, but if he wasn’t, then shame shame. Now I must disclose that I DESPISE female NFL sideline reporters, and I do have a problem with women reporters being allowed in a male locker room after a game. (If male reporters are allowed to enter women’s locker rooms after a contest, then I will strike my previous “locker room” comment; I don’t follow women’s sports so I don’t really know what their post-game policies are. However, I doubt a bunch of fat, ugly male sports reporters would be allowed access to a female locker room right after a volleyball or soccer match.) But regarding Keith’s response, he was talking about some chick that was her team’s personal trainer, and if she’s a good trainer, then she has every right to be in that dugout. No wonder Elaine Bennis turned him down.
• Well, Barry Bonds just hit his first home run of the season, so it looks like he will pass Babe Ruth on the all-time home run list. Now some fans want Barry’s stats to have an asterisk by them, or some other disclaimer saying he really didn’t “earn” his place in history due to steroid use. Now I’m a Bonds hater, but I don’t think this “qualifying” of his stats should be done. I’m sure the guy roided up, which is a shame because he was a damn good player even before he forehead exponentially, grew. But Major League Baseball did nothing during the “Steroid era” of the 1990s and early ‘00s, so it would by hypocritical to turn back and suddenly go “OMG you guys were CHEATING?!” Whether Bud Selig and pals turned a blind eye to the drug abuse going on during this time because of the revenue being generated during this time, or because they were afraid of the player’s union threatening to take action over any increased drug-testing regulations, don’t try to revise history. Deal with today’s drug use and make sure the game is cleaned up for the future. As for the past, it happened. Big deal.
• For all those in the white-collar work force, it has now become easier to goof off on the Internet. Well at least you can't get fired over it.
So I guess now if you get busted looking at on-line porn, you can say that you are reading the Sports page, which have ads like this littered in this section of many metropolitan newspapers.
• For those that think the name change from TNN to Spike was stupid, here’s one that gives “We Got Pop” (anyone remember that shit?) a run for its money. The Outdoor Life Network is changing its name to Versus. I loved this line.
Yeah, because you can’t think of “NHL” without thinking of “Versus.” If the “u” was changed to another “e” that would make for a pretty cool name for one of the dozen Jesus channels that are part of my cable lineup. Not saying I’d watch one of these stations, but couple a catchy channel name with the Buddy Christ and you might get a few more young people to tune in and watch nuns pray or whatever they hell they do.
• I’m not a huge Rocky fan, but I have to call "bullshit" on this one. Perhaps if the statue featured a picture of Jesus in a jar of urine, or a painting of the Virgin Mary made in cow dung, these artsy fartsy types might deem the “prop” worthy of having a place at their hippie museum. I got a laugh in this article when some “expert” claimed this statue is not “art,” but rather a "prop." This "prop" is what many people probably associate with the Philly art museum, and I’m sure a case can be made that a lot of the crap inside this building, if put to a vote, by simpletons like me, wouldn’t get branded as “art,” either.
• There are a lot of people out there that don’t like Paris Hilton, but I’ll defend my girl: she sure can bring the comedy, whether it is intentional or not. I’m sure some will say that she doesn’t deserve her fortune, but I disagree; she’s sure been able to milk her “talents” into quite a nice pile of cash, even without all those hotels she owns.
• Here's kkk's tip of the day: never watch one of those Jason Bourne movies starring Matt Damon when you have a headache. Ugh.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 26: BX
I don’t know why BX would be shocked that I would actually vote for him in a TSM Poster Contest. Just because I disagree with 99.999999999 percent of what someone thinks regarding politics (and I’m still waiting for that 0.000000001 percent of something we agree on) doesn't mean I have to hate him for it. And besides, there are other things to talk about besides whether or not George W. Bush is the devil. Take the Return of the King for example (at the time the spoiler tags weren’t there). And finally, I, along with anyone who remembers when the Current Events folder was worth reading, hope that BX savors this ranking, because I don’t think he’ll be getting on this kind of list with a certain poster from South Carolina any time in the near future.
And now a word or two from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From Cancer Marney:
From SFA Jack:
9:15 p.m.
• I just learned an important lesson (well, I didn't learn it since it was something I already knew, but you know what I'm talking about -- I hope). Never walk in front of the better half’s viewing area when the “Ghost Whisperer” is on. Jesus Christ. Bitch walks in front of me while I’m playing MVP Baseball and facing a 3-2 count with the bases loaded all the time. So just to be an asshole when I went to the ‘fridge and got something to drink and did a military crawl under the TV picture so I wouldn’t obstruct her line of sight to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s tits acting performance. Speaking of MVP, I had some guy in AAA who was a bench player but had decent power, so I put him in as my full-time DH. He was my most productive player at that level power-wise and cranked a three-run round-tripper last night only to rupture his ACL during a routine run to home plate as my other player grounded into an inning’s third out. Mother fucker.
Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down~!
Lord Jamar will live long, ‘cuz I give strong blows to the heads of my foes.
You know, with the homophobic lyrics Brand Nubian has spit over the years. that’s a pretty gay line up there.
Oh, shit. This is the season finale of the “Ghost Whisperer.” I guess Mrs. kkk will want to spend quality time shit now that show and the other one which comes on after that will be done for the summer.
8:45 p.m.
• Smues recent entry about housing costs gave me a flashback, so let’s go into the time machine.
It was in the early 2000s and the better half and I moved to the lovely community of Middletown, Ohio. I’ve said on occasion what I think of this little slice of Americana; when I got off of I-75 and took the Middletown exit I was rather pleased with what I saw. Some minor development – a mall here, a grocery store there. A small town feel. My type of place.
Then I began to drive inbound toward “downtown” Middletown. And I got scared. Real scared. More than one time I thought to myself, “We’re actually going to live here?” The up-and-coming property and housing developments quickly faded to this red-neck villa that I just escaped from Sappy Valley. However, the housing complex we had a lease with was a pretty nice place; it was clearly an oasis in a sea of white trash. And to top it off, our townhouse was spacious and had central air. And the rent was only $700/month. I was as happy as a pig in shit.’
Why am I talking about this? Because some time after we got situated, my old man and his wife stopped by. When I lived in southwestern Ohio, he would often stop by for a night before heading out to Nebraska to visit my half-brother before going to Colorado to visit my step-mom’s one adult offspring. Well, having just left Sappy Valley where an apartment off-campus ran you more than the cost for this townhouse, I was liking my living situation. Problem is my old man is one of those people who no matter what the deal is, the price is still too much. As I was showing him around he of course asked how much was I paying. Like an idiot, I said the price, which of course sparked OUTRAGE~! Then my step-mom countered with something that actually shut the old man up, commenting on the trailer they were living in at the time..
“Bill, we pay $350/month for a hole in the ground.”
Silence.
Game. Set. Match.
I should mention that later that day he said to save money I should use sawdust and newspaper as cat litter instead of that fancy stuff I was using. He then commented on why two litter boxes that were used by three cats would stink after six days of usage. Sigh.
8:30 p.m.
• I knew this was coming, but I can't help it.
7:15 p.m.
• I missed "Around the Horn" yesterday, so today was the first I heard of JA Adande leaving the LA Times. In his final column, he talks about accepting a buyout offer. I guess that's better than showing up for work one day only to find an abandoned building. I like him on the "Horn," so here's hoping he moves on to bigger and better things when he's not working 5-5:30 p.m. ET.
7 p.m.
• I heard about this a few days ago on a local RIGHT-WING RADIO show, and even though that final episode would have been a bitch for the people that didn’t get awarded the kidney, this could have been a good idea.
Let me explain. By telling the stories behind those people who need a transplant to survive in a compelling manner, I think this could encourage people to donate. Of course, then there will be an episode showing my crack-whore sister-in-law wailing about needed a liver transplant due to years of drug abuse.
Oh, speaking of her, the out-of-control niece has been living with her mother, the crack-whore, for a few weeks now and has already been kicked out. The best story to come out of this time was when the crack-whore took her daughter’s work clothes to the laundromat because her 20-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER wouldn’t. And what was the crack-whore’s reward for doing this? The daughter/out-of-control niece in-law bitched because she didn’t iron her outfits after washing them.
12 p.m.
• Good for LeBron.
Now maybe people will shut up about the first two games of this series. I’m all on James’ nuts. I admit it.
• Speaking of basketball, the Florida U coach is going to Orlando.
I don’t know, nor care, if he succeeds in the NBA or not. At least he’s going to a young team, or at least that’s what I heard about the Magic when they were getting beat by Detroit in the first round. If it was me, I’d probably stay at my safe, well-paying job and lounge off of my spoils of winning two college titles. Then again, this was probably the best time for Donovan to strike while the iron is hot, so more power to him, even though the article also stated that it was likely that Florida would have given him a similar raise.
7:30 p.m.
• Oh this better not start a trend.
That is, unless this TV prez gets killed.
• And yet we continue to bitch about $3/gallon gasoline.
Well, this ruling is by the 9th Circus, so there is a chance it'll get overturned.
• Gee, what’s this? A tax that didn’t do what it was supposed to do? I’m shocked. Boy, I can’t wait for this FREE government health care.
• Don't you know that forbidding prayer while at work during unscheduled breaks is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
I really don't care about all this shit, but what caught my eye was this guy's name.
12:15 p.m.
• So I just heard on the NFL Network that you can get 177 different words from Houshmandez. Damn.
• I goofed on Philly's mayor a while back regarding his waiting in like for an iPhone. All is forgiven.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 90: Masked Man of Mystery
He’s masked and he’s mysterious. He’s the Masked Man of Mystery and he’s occupies the 90 spot on the list. There are two reasons he is on this list. The first is that he’s a Professional Otaku, and no list is complete without one of those. The second is that he said one of my all-time favorite lines at this place. After getting his feathers ruffled by an anti-Muslim remark by MikeSC (big surprise there) he said:
Surprisingly enough, he returned, and even posted, in the above-mentioned thread. Not only that but he also educated us on who that hot piece of under-developed ass is in his avatar. I still have no idea what a Professional Otaku is, but damnit I know I just have to have one.
And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From lovecraft321:
• Well today was the suq. I noticed last night that Max was having some issues with using the litter, so today it was yet another trip to the vet. Turns out he has another urinary tract infection and has to stay overnight. Hopefully with the new diet we’re going to put him on he won’t have this trouble any more, or as much. There’s some other trouble brewing as well because the way the better half and I trick him, Dessa and JJ into their carrier no longer works. For years one of us would pick up whoever had to go to the vet and the other person would get the carrier. By the time the captured realized that they had been tricked it was too late for them to escape. A few years ago, they began to get wise to practice, so we went with Plan B. We give them scheduled feedings – a quarter cup of kibble when we wake up and right before bedtime. They have this schedule down pat, but whenever we needed one of them to get in the carrier we would put food in their dishes. When the three of them would romp into the feeding room thinking they were getting second breakfast, the better half would close the door and I would go get the carrier from the basement. This tactic worked about a half dozen times. Notice I said “worked.” Now when it’s not early in the morning or late at night and we’re putting food in their bowls, they hover around the room’s entrance waiting for us to leave before entering. Today was even worse. Not only did Max totally stay out of the feeding room, but also he took off and hid underneath some chairs in the kitchen. Of course after I moved the chairs he scampered off and hid under the dining room table. Once that was moved, he went under the living room coffee table. After that it was under a corner table between our two living room couches. Once I rearranged half of the living room’s furniture he made a dash to the basement and behind the staircase, which he has pretty much his own lair. Because I couldn’t reach him anymore I had to flush him out via squirt bottle, forcing him to get out in the open. But did that ploy work? Nope. The little bastard ran upstairs into the spare bedroom. This was a good news/bad news situation. By going into the spare bedroom he was limiting his escape options. However, if he got under the bed it would be a pain in the ass to get him out. I was able to nab him before he made it under all the way under the bed and then it was off to the vet.
• Having two lawyers settle a dispute over the location for a witness statement with a game of “rock, scissors, paper” is cute, but I would have preferred pistols at dawn.
• Entertainment Weekly made some hippie list about the 25 Most Controversial Films OF ALL TIME, and the Passion of the Christ tops the list. Other entries include A Clockwork Orange, JFK, Natural Born Killers, Fahrenheit 9/11, The Da Vinci Code , United 93, Deep Throat, The Last Temptation of Chirst, The Deer Hunter, Basic Instinct and Do the Right Thing. Uh, ok. This seems a little too Vh1-ny for my taste, and I really don’t know what to about the appropriateness of these listings, considering I didn’t bother to watch most of these movies.
• The New York Islanders, who just promoted Goalie Garth Snow to the position of general manager, signed a player to a 15-year contract. And who says there’s not continuity in sports? Granted Rick DiPietro was a bitch to score on in NHL ’06, but I wouldn’t be giving him $67 million dollars over a decade-and-a-half for this accomplishment.
The NBA gives Magic Johnson 25 years; the NHL gives Rick DiPietro 15. Ok then.
• First Steve Irwin gets killed by a stingray. Now this shocking development.
• El Luchadore Magnifico may not be on my Top 103 Posters list, but his blog holds a special spot in my heart. Sure he may not talk sports like Bored and Al Keiper, "ramble" like Hawk34 or … um, well there’s always Lovecraft or whatever he’s calling himself nowadays, but how can you top this:
• Gotta feel for the ladies on this one. You know how whenever you see a fellow person of the testicular persuasion catch one in the groin you give a little “sympathy cringe,” imagining what the pain must feel like? Well, I’m guessing popping out a 14-pound, 13-ounce kid would be the female equivalent.
• Uh-oh. Allah's going to be pissed. Again. From Ratzinger's speech:
Muslims, get the fuck over yourselves already. You think this and a couple of cartoons is bad? Just wait until you start shelling out your tax dollars (that is if you people have enough spare time from burning American flags and declaring jihads on infidels to actually have a job) for someone to submerge a picture of Mohammed (if one can be found) in a jar of pee or make a painting of him covered in cow poop. You know when I’ll start taking you people and your precious Allah seriously? When someone enters one of your market squares, rattles off a few Muslim jokes, and instead of the jokester getting beheaded you people say, “That’s a good one. Say, did you hear the one about the Priest at the confessional and the yellow holy water?” Until we get to this point, which will be never, I say to you and your jihad to Ratzinger and the rest of the West…
...bring it, bitches.
9:15 p.m.
Well today was when we celebrated the better half's birthday. It's not until tomorrow, but seeing how it's a workday (for me anyway and for her regarding the second job) we generally give presents for a b-day on the weekend before. When it's my birthday we go to Red Lobster (she hates watching me eat crab legs and lobster tail, and frankly I don't blame her). For her day it's usually Chinese takeout. Of course I went in to work in the early morning and came back with a bitch of a flu. And I have to go in tomorrow. Yippie. I got her Season 1 of the Ghost Whisperer. I'm pretty sure the black chick from Talk Soup is on this show, and I seem to remember a few actors/actresses appear in guest spots on this series that were on other shows she used to watch. (Providence and Charmed to name a few.) Well, I guess she'll be watching this nonstop until the next season of Charmed comes out on DVD. It could be worse. I heard Carolyn Manheim is on Season 2 of this show. Well, that's going to take away any impure thoughts I'll have with Jennifer Love Hewitt. I also got her Season 7 of Seinfeld and Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet CD. But it's not just any CD it's some hippie DUAL CD/DVD/CAR ALARM THAT ALSO ACTS AS A REMOTE CONTROL DEVICE FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR'S MICROWAVE! I have a few of these "special" CDs, but I never bother to play around with them. A while back I bought a ton of these "remastered" ACDC albums that supposedly have unlockable stuff in them, but I'm never in the mood to fiddle with them. When I want to listen to ACDC I'll play ACDC. Whenever I want to insert one of these things in my computer I ... well, I never really want to. Oh well. I guess it's nice to have all these neat-o features on something that I'll never use than to never have them at all. This is sort of the same way with DVD special features. I can't remember the last time I watched a special feature of anything, but yet you just "have" to have all that extra footage and behind-the-scenes stuff that is about as exciting as watching paint dry (or reading this blog.) But, once again, 'tis better to have it than to not.
I decided to try this Alka-Seltzer liquid cold medicine to battle this most recent bout with the flu. I'm less than impressed. Then again, I've only had one treatment. I'm a bit disappointed this hasn't knocked me out on my ass already. That's the whole purpose of that "nighttime" medicine. I want to take it and then go, "Damn, this ... is .... some good shit," fall asleep and wake up the next day not remembering how I made it to bed. I figure it never hurts to try out new medicine, especially when it's on sale. That way, if you get jewed out of your value, it's nice to know you didn't pay full retail price for it. Well, I'm about to take a second dosage. Out.
9 p.m.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 40: Alfdogg
He's a decent enough mod for me, and he helped out during the most recent kkk Bowl IV season. In fact, I think he handled it better than me -- want a job based at TSM with no pay? Wait, you already have one. Shit.
And now a word from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From Lovecraft:
• Thank Christ he lost. Now I don't have to hear the debate as to his "win streak" is legit because he lost in non-PGA events during this time.
7:15 p.m.
• Wow, I didn't see this coming.
Get it? "Didn't see this coming"? They're blind. OMGROTFLMAO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I'm pathetic.
Actually, this brings me back to a memory back in my theater employment days. You see, there was this wheelchair-bound guy named Dave, and while nobody liked him, they always tolerated him. Fuck that. I treat everybody the same – poorly. One day he brought in this article about how he appeared at this public meeting to protest the government not wanting to slope curbs. I played devil’s advocate and said that if you sloped street curbs that it would be harder for blind people to figure out that they were wading out into traffic. Dave didn’t like this and tried to run me over with his wheelchair. I thought the whole thing was funny, but when my head manager heard of this he got pissed at Dave. Now I know this guy hated me, but I think his faux outrage was an excuse to avoid Dave. Hey, it gave me the chance to ignore him, too, which I took full advantage of. He later got a bunch of people to give him money for some “fundraiser,” only for it to mysteriously “disappear.”
• Speaking of money vanishing, the better half’s out-of-control drug addict niece just got fired from the pizza job she worked at for less than two weeks. She was being “groomed” for a shift manager position and got into two shouting matches with other employees where the term “mother fucker” was used quite a bit, along with ending up $200 short in her drawer one night. $200. Yeah, I’m sure she put a $20 in the wrong slot in the cash register.
7 p.m.
• Well, I almost got in a bit of trouble today. As I was driving in Shittsburgh during the afternoon I ran a stop sign, not giving these pedestrians the right of way. Now I could say that being in a part of town I haven’t graced my presence with, coupled with the stop sign being shielded by a dumpster, I could just say “Fuck you” to the pedestrians I came within 12 feet of running over. At a nearby stoplight I made eye contact with the motorist in the other lane, who motioned to me to roll down my window. He commented to me that those people behind me flagged a police car to pull me over. I shrugged my shoulders and said that I didn’t see the stop sign and got ready to take my medicine. When the light turned green, I made my turn. I noticed the cop car behind me, but his lights weren’t on. I pulled over to the side anyways and motioned to him to approach me. He rolled down his window and I explained that I wasn’t familiar with the area and that I missed the sign. He seemed to understand my plight and said “no problem.” Had I been going 30 miles over the speed limit, hell-bent on getting to where I was going with and not giving a crap about those in my way, then I would understand being pulled over. But when you’re driving in a city, especially on a Friday afternoon, it’s a freakin’ zoo. Whenever I’m a pedestrian in the situation, I always act like oncoming motorists haven’t seen me yet. I get that pedestrians have the “right of way,” but would you rather cede this “right” and live to walk another day, or stand up for your “rights” and fight a losing bout with a vehicle weighing much more than you?
9 p.m.
• So I finally saw that Jeff Gordon video where his car gets pelted with beer after winning some race that put him past the late Dale Earnhardt in the wins total, or something like that.
Holy crap was that funny. I’ve said before I’m not a NASCAR fan, so I don’t know shit about caution flags, points or changing tires in 4 seconds. Back in the late 1990s when I worked third shift at a yearbook publishing center in Sappy Valley, a few people around me would always talk NASCAR. Of course I had no idea what they were fighting about, but one thing I took from their heated debates was that you were either a Gordon fan or an Earnhardt fan. If that’s the case, I probably would be in the Earnhardt camp. But like I said above, that video was hilarious. Good job, Alabama. For some reason the first thought to pop into my head after seeing this was that faux commercial South Park did a while back titled “Alabama Man.”
• In keeping up with the San Fran theme from the 1:30 p.m. entry, here's another story that was conceived in this city.
Nonpartisan my ass. None of those six e-cards went with my submission, which was "Think of all the money you just saved on clothes, food and college tuition." When someone has a living being sucked out of them, you need them to focus on the positive.
Oh I sense future government intervention on this one forcing Big Greeting Card to sell something for this kind of occasion. What do you want Hallmark to do -- have these cards on the rack next to the "newborn," or "baby's first birthday" offerings?
1:30 p.m.
• So San Fran's tops for pets. I'm sure there's a gerbil/hamster joke to be made here, but I'm above such juvenile tomfoolery.
Seattle and Portland I understand, but DC?! I guess they only shoot humans, not pets. Actually, the amount of respect I have for Washington has just increased.
