6:30 p.m.
• But the big question is: What political party is this guy from?
This place is in Kansas, and he's offering to resign, so I'm guessing he's a Republican. However, the article doesn't indicate what party he's affiliated with, so he could be a Democrat. However, small-town elections don't have the same oomph when it comes to political parties (the article says this guy has another job, after all). If the area is made up of Democrats/Republicans, then most local positions will be registered as that party for election purposes. Also, one headline I saw had this as a "RACIST porn e-mail." Uh, how excatly was this the r-word? Then again, if he sent this e-mail at home on his personal computer and not on mayoral time, then OMG KEEP HIS PRIVATE LIFE PRIVATE and all that other crap I heard during the Lewinsky years.
8 a.m.
• Not sure what the legal stuff is regarding celebs and having their images sold for profit via greeting cards, but I would consider Paris a public figure so my first thought is "tough shit" to her lawsuit.
Remember when everyone goofed on Donald Trump for trying to trademark "You're Fired"? If anything, Hallmark should be sued for producing shitty cards.
8:15 p.m.
• OK, I've officially given up on the ESPN Monday Night Football experiment. I gave it time. After all, it takes a while for an announcing crew to mesh, but enough is enough. The refs threw a flag for too many men on the field, then recanted. Mike Tirico goes, “What is this, the Florida election?” LOLSTEELERS34BROWNS7~! Tony then brings the hilarity by saying something like, “Well, there were hanging chads in Florida. We have CHAD JOHNSON~!” Jesus Christ. I admit it. I liked ESPN’s Sunday night crew of Patrick, MacGuire and Theismann and McGuire. Sure there were some faults – Patrick can’t find anything wrong with anyone, Paul was Paul, and Joe would yell at players during the preseason – but that was way better than listening to this shit. And guy's, ESPN Monday Night Football ain't the same as ABC Monday Night Football. Give it up already. Please. For the children.
6:15 p.m.
• I didn't watch Britney's performance, but I guess she was doing things in outfits that she shouldn't have been doing.
If this were an average chick out on the street I would have no problem thinking she's good-looking. However, the average chick isn't parading out in a skimpy outfit in front of millions of viewers and crtics.
3 p.m.
• So after watching the first week of NFL action, all I can say is wow. I am so on the nuts of NBC’s “Football Night in America.” I’ve said in the past I’m a Bob Costas fan, and the addition of Keith Olbermann is a huge plus. Yes, I said Keith Olbermann. Sure the guy should be hung for treason, and I’m certain I’ll be calling him a commie by Week 4, but I always liked him on ESPN. Just because I don’t like a person’s politics that doesn’t mean I have to hate everything he does. Also, I know John Madden is past his prime, but he’ll be retiring soon enough. I also like Al Michaels. If there is anything I would like to see “improved” it is this: Get a defensive-minded person to speak alongside Tiki Barber and Chris Collinsworth (sorry Bus), and get a better sideline reporter. I’ve made it long known that I don’t like female sideline reporters. Sorry. Too bad. Tony Siragusa and, let’s say, Deion Sanders, would complete my “dream” announcing team, but now I’m just nitpicking. Besides, if Tony joined NBC then he wouldn’t be on that Fox team with Dick Stockton and Daryl Johnson.
• During a “holiday week,” my trash collection gets moved back one day, meaning my garbage gets picked up on Saturday this past week. Sadly, no garbagemen drove past my residence. None on Sunday, either. When I saw my neighbors’ trash cans were also untouched, I gave my refuse collector a call. Problem was, there’s nobody in the office during weekends. To make matters worse, the electronic message box was also filled. Looks like someone screwed up. I called them this morning and I guess there was a problem of some sorts. The representative said our route is getting collected today. I said to him before hanging up that I’ve lived at this address for three years and this is the first time such an incident has occurred, so keep up the good work. I figured this poor guy was getting bitched at by enough angry customers. Besides, one missed collection in 150 weeks is a pretty good track record. God bless the garbage collectors.
12 a.m.
• After working 9:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. behind a computer, there’s nothing I like better than coming home to … type behind a computer. Goddamnit.
Atlanta @ Jacksonville (10.5)
Man, I knew I’d be hating these spreads when I first posted them. Sure the Jags will win by double digits.
Buffalo @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
OK, Buffalo has a bunch of injuries, and Pittsburgh won big last week. But they played Cleveland. What do I do? Do I jump on the bandwagon now and have them not cover, or do I stay with the other team and watch the Steelers win big again. Oh, I’ll be a homer this week, although the black and gold don’t always impress at home. 20 points.
(7.5) Cincinnati @ Cleveland
LOL – the Browns traded away their starting quarterback from last week already. I’ll take the Bengals offense to score bunches, even though this is the BATTLE FOR OHIO~!
Green Bay @ N.Y. Giants (1.5)
Hmm, I’m not sure how long Emily will be out, if at all. I’ll go with the NFL’s IRON MAN.
Houston @ Carolina (6.5)
Interesting. The Texans surprised me by winning last week. I think Carolina will win the game, but I’m hoping it’ll be close.
(7.5) Indianapolis @ Tennessee
Here’s hoping Indy stays on that roll from last year’s Wild Card.
(3.5) New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
The Saints didn’t play all that well in Week 1, but here’s hoping they rebound against a divisional foe.
San Francisco @ St. Louis (3.5)
I thought Arizona would win last week due to the air attack. Here’s hoping the 49ers can keep it close.
(3.5) Dallas @ Miami
Uh, yay Cowboys?
Minnesota @ Detroit (2.5)
Sure Detroit scored bunches of points – it was against Oakland. Yeah, the Raiders had a "good" defense last year, from what some people on TV said, but was it one of those defenses where the other team just scored a bunch early and let the offense play catch up all game? You know, much like a crappy team can have a “good” pass defense because after a team builds a 30-0 lead all they do is run the ball against the pass defense in the second half. Let's see, how many points they the Raiders give up last year?
27, 28, 24, 34, 13, 9, 13, 16, 17, 17, 21, 23, 27, 20, 20, 23
Is that good? I dunno. All I know is that the Raiders offense didn't score more in most of those games enough times to warrant the top pick in the most recent draft.
(3.5) Seattle @ Arizona
They’re still the divisional champs. Respect due.
Kansas City @ Chicago (12.5)
All the Bears have to do is kick four, err, five field goals. I’m confident.
N.Y. Jets @ Baltimore (10.5)
Hmm, the offense sucked dong last week. I’ll say the Ravens get the home vibe going and win.
Oakland @ Denver (10.5)
I’ll say the Broncos because even if they get up on their rival they’ll want to score more points.
San Diego @ New England (3.5)
Shit. Does spy-gate rally the Pats or distract them? I’ll go with the latter.
Washington @ Philadelphia (6.5)
I think Philly will win, but I’m hoping not by much.
8:30 p.m.
• Well everything came and went without much of a hitch. Although it was funny to point out to the better half that, when she let the nieces and nephew play with my exercise equipment, that I got the third degree when I babysat them a while back and let them goof around with that stuff.
11:45 a.m.
• So the last few days have been hella crazy. In a few hours we will be hosing a cookout for a few people, and on Friday the better half and I went to get some stuff. Did we go to the grocery store for meat? Nope. We had to go to the local butcher guy who lives in the backwoods. Next it was onto Sam’s for some cock breast chicken. I think we got some other stuff, but I can’t remember. We also went to a few other places that I can’t remember, which scares me a bit. Anyway, we did all this shit right after getting home from work, which has been hectic for me this past week. We left for work at 6 a.m., then left for shopping at 4 p.m. It was now past 8 p.m., and I was starting to crash. What made me grumpier was knowing that I was going to have to go into work Saturday morning, and goddamn am I a spoiled brat, considering I used to pull 16-hour shifts with regularity back in the day. But I digress. It was 8 p.m., and Mrs. kkk asked if we should just get alcohol now instead of waiting for Saturday. I’m a person that likes to get things over with, so I agreed. Now did we go down the main road of our area to a place that sells beer? No. We took these backroads that added 10-15 minutes onto what is normally a 5-minute commute. Why do people do this shit? Well, I was already grumbling a bit when we pulled into the Pizza Hut. Yes, Pizza Hut. Pennsylvania has this ass-backwards law that makes it next-to-impossible for places to sell booze, but for some reason this PIZZA HUT has a little cooler to sell beer. I don’t know. I’m not going to try and figure it out.
When we pulled in, Mrs. kkk said “when you go in there get Busch beer.” Wait, why do I have to go in? “Because the man gets the beer.” WTF? When was this a rule? And I’m not a “real” man. When I bother to drink, I drink wine coolers and Kahluas. I don’t hunt or fish. I know dick about automobiles. And you know what? I’m proud to admit this shit, which probably makes me more of a man than you. But now I’m getting off track. I go into the Hut and look in the cooler. I have no idea what these brands are they are selling, and they were all in at least a 12-pack. There’s no way I’m buying these tax-saturated products for one-two people max. Fuck that. I went to the “real” meat shop for this event. I get back in the car and tell the better half that they don’t have Busch. “Well can’t you get something else?” Why then did you tell me to get a specific brand? Look, I may not be a man’s man, but I’ve been around enough to know that some males are just as picky with their choice of adult beverages than women are with fashion design labels. She then tells me to just get whatever, because now fatigue is starting to hit her. I go back in and get two big cans of Coors. Hey, this is our house and it’s not often that we bring booze into it. Anyway, now I get to the point of this story.
I put these two big cans on the register, and the cashier has no idea how to ring them up. She makes some comment that must have been bad, because she got real apologetic with me. Too bad I was zoning out and wasn’t paying attention. The manager comes over and both are trying to figure out how to ring up this transaction. Then the manager says something that snapped me back to reality real quick.
“These two cans are $2.25 each and their ringing up as $4.50 total. That’s not right.”
R’oh?
And no, she wasn’t talking about taxes. And no, there wasn't a line or any reason for them to get frazzled.
Yes, this whole saga was leading up to a customer service story. Feel shortchanged? Too bad. I had to live it. Now if you will excuse me, I have to vacuum and put in another load of laundry before the guests arrive. No, I’m not making this up. And I’m going to be bbq’ing shit this afternoon. At least it’s with my two charcoal grills. Propane is for communists.
9:30 p.m.
• Thanks to Al Keiper for reminding me of this.
So the Mexican welfare family on the better half’s side of the family will have its patriarch soon celebrate his 57th birthday. And the welfare household whose annual Memorial Day cookout is an annual event I completely dread will be having a surprise party. We got an invitation. Uh, no. But that’s not where this story ends. We also got a notice that there is a Wal-Mart gift registry for this event, and Mrs. kkk and I had to see what was on this list. Five and a half pages worth of stuff. Here are the highlights:
Motor oil.
Metallic-looking boxers.
Rose-petal bubble bath.
Pressure washer -- $100.
Various kids gifts.
Lavender bubble bath stuff.
Windshield wiper fluid.
Batteries.
Computer virus protection.
Even though we’re getting these people jack shit (they already get a gift from us on the first of every month), I was seriously considering getting several family members together to chip in for a bottle of Pennzoil.
9 p.m.
• Let’s see, what’s going on. Got an interview for Thursday for a resume that was received today. Has potential, but whatever. Let me stress again that the best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Sure it would be great to burn your bridge whenever you’ve had enough of your workplace situation, but unless you live with mommy and daddy, you got bills to pay. Something tells me this could be another “you’re overqualified” experience, but there’s nothing wrong with polishing up your interviewing techniques. I remember reading a while back former Bears great Mike Singletary, now an assistant coach, was asked why he wanted to interview for a head coaching job he had no chance of getting and was called only because of the NFL’s hippie “interview a token minority” candidate. He replied that the opportunity to interview was reason enough. More power to him. For the record, my place of employment, which has had an opening for several months now, will be calling people that sent in resumes back in July for interviews. You gotta love organizations that do this sort of thing. Any candidate with half a brain will realize that a place which calls you in for an interview regarding a resume you submitted months back had several preferred candidates flake out. If the candidate has three-fourths of a brain, he/she will figure out that there’s probably some reason the preferred candidates chose not to work at this place.
• Oh, man. No wonder the liberals love Hugo. Now he wants to take over private schools.
And just what will the kiddies be learning?
And just how is this any different from the government schools and universities in the U.S.?
• Well many people thank God when they score a big touchdown or receive some award. Why not sue the guy upstairs?
But this part caught my eye, too.
• I swear to Christ if I hear another "It's the mirrors" ad one more time I'm breaking one of those "mirrors" and slashing the throats of everyone involved with producing this tripe. And while I'm at it, I'll take out a few people who thought up this godawful "Caveman" show. I don't care if it hasn't aired yet. Some public airwave conceptions should be aborted in their first trimester.
9 p.m.
• So sad. I was putting a portfolio together when I decided to fuck around instead. Damn you Internet. Oh, for as much bitching about stupid commericals, I have to admit I like this one. And it deals with
This one's good, too, but I like the first better.
6 p.m.
• What punitive damages? You were a shitbag before this story which did you in.
• My vote would be to asterisk the ball.
Blasting it off into space just seems too… eh. I wouldn’t be convinced that it actually happened. The ball would probably just be hidden in some backlot, only to appear when I’m in a nursing home and making me even more skeptical of this world.
• Damn, now EVERYONE is getting tasered (well, actually this happened last year, but whatever).
Hey, just because someone is in a wheelchair that doesn’t mean they should get any special privileges. Remember, “disabled” doesn’t mean “unable.” Besides, those wheelchairs can hurt. I should know. During my theater days some frequent customer who everybody hated got pissed at me one day and drove this motorized beast into my shin. I didn’t really care, and actually thought it was funny, but it gave me an excuse to act “faux pissed” at him, thus giving me an out in never having to deal with him. I mean, I could only fuck with his mind because it appeared that God already beat me to the physical part.
Oh, yeah. Back to the story at hand. Fuck this family. Next time some psycho family member is on a relative's private property with weapons, the cops should just stay away and let them sort it out with hugs.
• The only thing weird ever to come out of my bunghole was string during my adolescent days (still trying to figure that one out – yeah I ate some string but not that much, and not that color). Now the things that have gone into my browneye – that’s another story.
8:30 p.m.
• So I had the interview today. Eh. The odd thing about this one is that when I was left I thought to myself, “You know, maybe I don’t hate my job all that much after all.” Then again, I don’t hate my job – I hate my dumb-ass management. Wasn’t my best performance, but wasn’t terrible either. One red flag that went up for me was when they said, “You’d be in charge of some hippie computer program and the consultant we’ve had for over a year is leaving in a few weeks.” Translation: We’re going to expect you to know just as much as a professional in the IT field and we’re going to pay you much less.
But here’s the best part: When I got home, I waited for Mrs. kkk to call me and let me know when I can pick her up from interviewing some crazy person at her job. She called. I drove. On the way home, she was making some smart-ass remark about how she has a “surprise” for me and I’ll never get it. Then the DJ on the rock radio station says the following:
“Don’t forget that comedian Ron White will be appearing at the Benedum Center October 6.”
Wow was she pissed.
• Here’s the difference between men and women: A few days ago the better half threw a shitfit because some pen exploded and she got ink on her ratty gray sweatshirt/jacket thing. You can even see the shit and she’s bitching. Today, I realized after my interview that my one pen blew up and got shit all over my hands and blue Wal-Mart t-shirt. My reaction? “Oh, so I didn’t need to try lick that stain because I thought it was my blue raspberry-flavored Go-gurt.”
Yes, I eat yogurt. I remember years ago my old man was bitching about my choice of snack, saying that this stuff isn’t healthy and contains all these chemicals and shit. My response: “I don’t care. I eat it because I like the taste.” My old man’s response: Nothing. Of course this is the same guy who freaks out over anything that isn’t wheat-grass juice. When I was a kid I remember he showed me this article about how something-or-other was bad for you and we were all going to die and the only thing you can eat nowadays is dirt. It was around the time of hazardous movie theater popcorn butter. Anyway, I grabbed a spoon and was ready to go outside when he asked, “Where are you going?” My response: “Out back in the yard for dinner.” Families.
3:30 p.m.
• Time for Week 3's pickkks.
Arizona @ Baltimore (7.5)
The only reason I’m going with this is because the Cards coach is the former Steelers offensive coordinator and I’m hoping that he’s able to keep it somewhat close. Then again, I remember what happened last year when the Steelers played the Ravens. Oh, shit.
Buffalo @ New England (15.5)
Here’s hoping the Pats have a “fall-off” game to a divisional rival after clearing away the Chargers.
Detroit @ Philadelphia (6.5)
I just don’t see the Eagles going 0-3.
(6.5) Indianapolis @ Houston
I heard that one receiver for Houston is out.
Miami @ N.Y. Jets (3.5)
I’ll go with the Dolphins defense in this one. Does Miami even have a good defense. I have no clue. Then why did I just say that?
Minnesota @ Kansas City (2.5)
Young QB. At Kansas City. There’s going to be lots of runs.
(4.5) San Diego @ Green Bay
This should be interesting. I’m not convinced Green Bay is a playoff-caliber team … yet.
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
That spread just seems too big. I think the Steelers will win, but by single digits.
St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (3.5)
I’m not sure about this one, but I want to see St. Louis crash and burn because too many people were picking them to be a playoff team in the preseason.
Cincinnati @ Seattle (3.5)
The Bungles’ defense can’t get much worse than it was last week’s effort – could it?
Cleveland @ Oakland (3.5)
I’m hoping for the Browns to experience a “fallout” effect from last week’s win. That’s the only reason I’m picking Oakland with the points.
Jacksonville @ Denver (3.5)
Here’s hoping the Jacksonville running game has a good day.
(4.5) Carolina @ Atlanta
I’ve been burned on the Panthers a few times this year already. Perhaps this is their year to win the South, again.
N.Y. Giants @ Washington (4.5)
I’ll tell you what. I have no idea who that Redskins QB is, but I was impressed by him Monday night.
Dallas @ Chicago (3.5)
Both defenses are good, so I’m going with the better offense.
Tennessee @ New Orleans (4.5)
The Saints have stunk it up the first two games, but what about the home opener? Well, they could always win by 3.
3 p.m.
• Pirates got a new general manager. Why in the hell would ANYONE want to come here, unless that person is jobless to begin with.
• Oh there are so many jokes to be made with this I don’t know where to begin.
• Well, at least she’s not whipping out her tit and having the crumb-snatcher suck away during the test. Trust me, wait until you see a picture of her.
Actually, with the speed of our justice system, I'm surprised the kid's not 20 years old now.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 9: Mr. Rant
Rant and I go back like receding hairlines. Well, maybe not that far back. But far back enough to remember classic moments like this. Rant can be a bit of a mystery. The same person who posts material like this will recoil and show the claws at the slightest mention of his crumb-snatcher. Oh, yeah, when he’s not posting god-knows-what (I know better than to click on any link in a thread titled, "This completely ruins a good cum bath, NSFW"), he’s helping our computers stay virus-free so we can see just what completely ruins a good cum batch. While I'm on this subject, is it really necessary to put a "NSFW" warning to a thread titled "THIS COMPLETELY RUINS A GOOD CUM BATH?" Did I mention he also has a soft spot for a certain kind of household pet and doesn't care for a certain sect of our society?
6:30 p.m.
• Had the interview this morning. Will I get invited back? No idea. Like I’ve said before, when you already have a job going to interview at another place is much easier. When you’re unemployed or trying to get something that is somewhat related to the 4+ years of post-high school study to took the wait to get a call back is nerve-racking. When you already have a 9 to 5 and you’re waiting for a response there’s actually somewhat of an annoyance to get a response because now you have to dip into vacation time (although I didn’t this time because of the 13 hours I put in the other weekend). I think this was one of my better interviews – much better than my first outing. My time was cut short because they had another interview scheduled – some twenty-something chick. Oh well.
You know what I am jealous of in regards to chicks? When dressing up, they can go a number of routes – pants, dress, blouse, sweater, etc. For guys it’s a coat, tie and pants. Then again, it’s good to be simple. So far I have been treated relatively well by this place. It’s amazing how unprofessional some places can be in the job-hiring process. Yeah I know I’m the job seeker and the company is the job holder, but sometimes I wonder if the hiring people have any idea how awful it makes their organization look when they don’t return calls or drop correspondence after giving their word to contact someone with the results of a hiring. But what do I know. I don’t have a human resources degree.
Best-case scenario: I get a job I’ll probably bitch about a year or so from now. Worst-case scenario: I got some new dress clothes on clearance and updated my portfolio. Either way, I also have Monday off. Yay and stuff. And always remember: There's always someone out there who can do your job better and cheaper than you. The trick is to get hired before the interviewer finds them. That way, you can at least collect unemployment if you get canned.
• You know what I’ve thought about doing? Making a profile on eharmony.com. No, I’m not thinking about cheating on Mrs. kkk. My reason for this is because I’m curious to know what a “match” would be for me. I know I’m going to regret finding the estrogen version of me, but it’s one of those things that you can’t get out of your head. That is until you see the opposite gender of you. I’m sure after that it’ll be one of those things I wouldn’t be able to get out of my head even though I’ll make every attempt to do so.
• So there has been road construction in my neighborhood for the last two weeks, and the better half has been bitching nonstop about them not putting a “ramp” thing by our driveway, which they stripped before the repaving process. I’ve been telling her for the last 10 days they’re probably going to “re-ramp” everybody’s driveways when everything else is done, but instead of hearing “you may have a point,” I’ve been getting, “I better not be driving over that bump in front of our driveway/this is bullshit.” Well guess what the construction people did about 10 minutes ago? Yep.
• John Edwards, if you can make good on this promise, I just might vote for you. But I want results first.
"What he can do about inner-city kids partaking in violence." Good God.
9:45 a.m.
• OK, time for this week’s NFL pickkks:
(4.5) Baltimore @ Cleveland
Hmm, will the former Browns tear shit up or will the Browns give them a game? If I go with last year’s divisional winner getting the ship straight, then they won’t. If I go the other way, this will be the Week 1 Browns that had four different penalties on one play, not the Week 2 team that scored 50+ points. The Ravens secondary is better than Bengals. I’ll go with the former.
(3.5) Chicago @ Detroit
Shit, another similar conundrum. Will having a new quarterback spark the Bears or will the Lions play them tougher than they did with the Eagles last week? I’ll go with the latter in this case.
(2.5) Green Bay @ Minnesota
I have a feeling this one will bit me in the ass. I typically go with the Vikings at home against Favre, but I heard some stat on “Around the Horn” earlier in the week about the Packers quarterback having good games at Minnesota the last few years.
(3.5) Houston @ Atlanta
The Falcons didn’t play that bad last week, did they?
(3.5) N.Y. Jets @ Buffalo
I have no reason for this one.
Oakland @ Miami (4.5)
I don’t even know if the Dolphins have won a game this year. I just chalk it up to another selection for no reason.
St. Louis @ Dallas (13.5)
Even though this has all the makings of a “let down” game, the Cowboys have been blowing out teams they should be beating this year. Why change now?
(2.5) Seattle @ San Francisco
Normally I give the division champ the benefit of the doubt, but here’s hoping this will be the “changing of the guard” over in the NFC West. I’m tired of the Seahawks finishing first over there.
Tampa Bay @ Carolina (3.5)
I thought picking up David Carr was a good move, but I’m wondering if he’ll need a week or three to get into the Panther groove. I’m hoping the Carolina defense can hold the fort until then.
Denver @ Indianapolis (9.5)
I was going to go with Indy, but called an audible at the line of scrimmage. Oh I hope this doesn’t come back to haunt me.
Kansas City @ San Diego (12.5)
I don’t like the spread, but if there ever was a game for the Chargers to get back on the winning track, it’s this one.
(6.5) Pittsburgh @ Arizona
I have no stats for this one. It’s been my experience that the Steelers always have trouble at Arizona.
(2.5) Philadelphia @ N.Y. Giants
I’m still pissed at that Giants win last week. Go Donovan.
(7.5) New England @ Cincinnati
Only 7.5 points against a defense that gave up 50+ to the Browns? Sign me up.
6:15 p.m.
• Well we donated blood at a local church for some kid with leukemia and afterward, Mrs. kkk fainted. This of course caused a scene much like the shit you see on any medical drama, only less intense. And with uglier nurses. Always got to cause I scene. She’ll live. What was more dramatic was when I thought there might be some trouble with the computer, only to discover I needed the mouse replaced. I’m such a techie.
I also took the day off work hoping to get in some good video-gaming, only to discover the better half decided to take a “me day,” too. Fuck. The only thing worse than when this happens is on Sunday when I have the football games on while doing odds ‘n ends around the house and I get to listen to her bitch “Is this all you’re going to do today?” Let’s see, what did I do yesterday while the games were on: Made 40 bottles of Crystal Light. Clipped and sorted through coupons. Did three loads of laundry. Exercised for 90 minutes. Computed the monthly budget where I document everything we spent and everything we earned. Made dinner. What did she do? Watch “Lord of the Rings.” Married life, folks. Someday this will be you typing.
3 p.m.
• So Swift Terror was bitching about the new Jew tactic teams are doing at the end of games when a field goal kicker is about to boot the pigskin and the opposing coach calls “time out.” I don’t really see the big deal. Yeah, it’s lame, but like Mr. Terror said, just wait until the “timed-out” kick goes wide right and the mulligan goes through the uprights. If the NCAA and NFL want to “ban” this, then whatever. The only thing I object to is the potential for injury when play is stopped right when the ball is snapped. Just let them play out the down and let them know a time out was called before the play. Besides, teams should know by now that the opposing coach will probably employ this strategy and just treat the whole thing as a warm-up routine. But to get “offended” over all this, which is what I’ve seen on a few ESPN/NFL pre-game shows, is just a bit too much.
10:30 a.m.
So when the baseball season began Al Keiper and I made predictions as to win totals for each baseball team. Time to see the damage. Teams in bold were correct predictions. Actual wins are in ().
Al kkk-eiper's picks
NL EAST
Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89)
New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88)
Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84)
Washington Nationals 66.5 OVER (73)
Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71)
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85)
Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 UNDER (83)
St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78)
Houston Astros 78.5 OVER (73)
Cincinnati Reds 76.5 UNDER (72)
Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 UNDER (68)
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90)
Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89)
San Diego Padres 84.0 OVER (89)
Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 OVER (82)
San Francisco Giants 81.5 OVER (71)
AL EAST
Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96)
New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94)
Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83)
Baltimore Orioles 73.5 UNDER (69)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 UNDER (66)
AL CENTRAL
Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96)
Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88)
Minnesota Twins 83.5 UNDER (79)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72)
Kansas City Royals 67.5 UNDER (69)
AL WEST
Los Angeles Angels 89.5 UNDER (94)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76)
Texas Rangers 81.5 UNDER (75)
Total Correct = 15
Al Keiper's picks
NL EAST
New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88)
Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84)
Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89)
Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71)
Washington Nationals 66.5 UNDER (73)
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85)
Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 OVER (83)
St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78)
Houston Astros 78.5 UNDER (73)
Cincinnati Reds 76.5 OVER (72)
Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 OVER (68)
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 OVER (90)
Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89)
San Diego Padres 84.0 UNDER (89)
Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 UNDER (82)
San Francisco Giants 81.5 UNDER (71)
AL EAST
Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96)
New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94)
Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83)
Baltimore Orioles 73.5 OVER (69)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 OVER (66)
AL CENTRAL
Cleveland Indians 84.5 OVER (96)
Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88)
Minnesota Twins 83.5 OVER (79)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 UNDER (72)
Kansas City Royals 67.5 OVER (69)
AL WEST
Los Angeles Angels 89.5 OVER (94)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76)
Texas Rangers 81.5 OVER (75)
Total Picks = 16
Now I guess I could say that if I would have gotten just one of the 15 incorrect picks right, then I would have tied our board's baseball expert, but I'd rather make it sound more dramatic. If the Phillies would have lost just one more game we would have tied! Yeah, that sounds much better than pointing out some of my gems:
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90)
Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
9:30 p.m.
• There are times when you read something and another thought from long ago pops up. That happened with a recent Drudge headline. When I saw this:
I thought back to an old Willie D song with the following verse:
Weird.
7:30 p.m.
• So I was reading Jack's blog and I remembered that the MLB playoffs are coming up. Seeing how I batted a perfect 1.000 last year (not getting a single matchup correct in the first round), I might as well do this again. Because I don't want anyone accusing me of copying Mr. SFA, I stopped reading his entry and decided to do my picks before continuing Notes From Cubicle 348J3-29$43*903=284A9@0sP. Let's see:
NLDS:
Cubs v. Diamondbacks
Fuck, I dunno. I'm kinda rooting for the Cubs just so they can win without Racist Dusty. I'm sure Lou will play a lot of white guys when the weather turns cold. However, I totally screwed up my pre-season prediction of the D-backs, so I'll go with them. On second thought, I want to talk about Steve Bartman later on. How's that you stat freaks? D-backs in 4 Cubs in 5.
Rockies v. Phillies
Both teams played good, and fuck Philadelphia for screwing up my contest with Al Keiper. I might as well jinx these faggots and pick them to move on. Phillies in 3.
NLCS:
Cubs v. Phillies
Great. Two liberal towns. I don't know much about the Daly machine, and Philly gave me Fast Eddie. Kiss my ass Phillies. I heard Chicago is talking about jacking the sales tax up to the highest in the country, but I don't live there so what do I care? Besides, you live in a blue state, you deserve what you get. Wait, I live in Pennsylvania. Sonofabitch. Cubs in 7.
ALDS:
Angels v. Sox
I actually like the Angels, but I heard that roided-up Gary Jr. is hurt. For shame. Hey, I'm actually making a guess based on baseball news. Sox in 3.
Yankees v. Indians
Cleveland. Pfft. Come on A-Rod, hit the goddamn ball in the postseason. I'm one of your biggest supporters, so don't punk out on me. Hell, Barry Bonds played solid when the Giants went to the Big Show earlier this decade. You can do it, too. I'm sure the Indians are the better team, but the East Coast Bias will make sure we get Yanks vs. Sox Part 3498209. Yankees in 4.
ALCS:
New York Yankees v. Boston Red Sox.
I want the Yanks to win just because they get branded with that evil empire shit. Fuck that. George S. wants to win, so let the man spend his money. Hell, if the Pirates got a TV deal like the Yankees have, those Jews will just pocket all the money anyway. I would have went for the Sox to win, but since they broke their hex a few years ago, that would be no fun to pick. I want the Yankees to move on, but if I pick them that would spell certain doom. Then again, I picked them in the first round so they're probably fucked already. No matter. Sox in 6.
WORLD SERIES:
Cubs v. Sox
Just to give the middle finger to Racist Dusty and to let Steve Bartman off the hook, I'll go with the Cubs. Now I get joking around with the "die Bartman" jokes, but if there are any Cubs fans legit mad, then you losers deserve a team that hasn't won shit for God knows how long. The only good thing to come out of this Bartman thing was when some Howard Stern caller got on SportsCenter and punked out the network. Cubs in 6.
Hey, Jack and I picked the same team to win it all. I bet our reasons why are similar, too.
4:30 p.m.
• You know you could just move up there. Yeah, I know, political statement and all.
I've seen some of the women up in Canada. She's got her work cut out for her. Please note that's a compliment for the femmes north of the border.
7 a.m.
• While Smues is talking about technological gizmos to improve his job, let me tell you one gadget that I need on my job: fingers. Fingers to stuff envelopes. Yes, instead of investing in a stuffing machine or outsourcing the labor, every three months my employers give us a big ol’ stack of envelopes to stuff. And of course even though I know these stuffings are coming, I never get told of them until after there’s a stack under my in-box. Why am I talking about this now? Because today was supposed to be an envelope-stuffing day. That is until I discovered THE ENVELOPES WE USE TO STUFF OUR FINANCIAL STATEMENTS IN ARE OUT OF STOCK! Then again, it's possible the person who has to order the envelopes wasn't told of this quarter's great envelope stuffing drive. Once again, I repeat: How does this place manage to stay in business? Then
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 8: Ripper
Wha-? Rippers #8? That’s right n*ggaros and n*ggahoes. Actually, he was first pegged in the teens, but thanks to a few bonus points for diversity concerns he moved up, knocking a few crackers down in the process (figuratively and literally). Ripper and I didn't exactly get off to the best of starts, but over time he realized that I was nothing more than some dopey white guy that, like him, didn’t care too much for stick figures. Now even though there are still a number of important issues we don’t agree on, I can deal with most of them. (If he wants to be daddy to some kid that’s not his then who am I to stop him?) Besides, there are so many other things we can find common ground on – like saving kitties and keeping bathroom habits out of the bedroom. However, for the last time, black people don't tip. That's a fact. And pork chops dipped into applesauce is hella good.
9 p.m.
• Christ. I heard on the radio tonight that cub scout badges are now being recalled due to lead from ... China. Forget about forming a better army, all these people have to do is fuck with our consumer goods.
5 p.m.
• Normally I don’t remember my dreams, but last night’s was a doozy. Well, not really – but I remembered it. I was in this classroom with a few other people I had never seen before. Then Michael Savage comes in and says we have to read our homework assignments to the class. Seeing how I wasn’t around when the homework assignments were given out, I was a little perturbed. After all, I don’t want him to get mad and tell me to die of the AIDS. A few people were to go before me, and from what I heard it seemed that this assignment was to take a person we liked and a person we didn’t like and explain our feelings toward both. When it was my turn I took a blank sheet of paper and pretended like I was reading from that. I began ad-libbing, hoping to make this shit up as I went along. Because I didn’t have time to pick a person I liked and a person I didn’t like, I went with a SWERVE~! And said I was going to take one person and explain what I liked and didn’t like about this subject. My person: Bud Selig.
I started with “Good Bud.” I liked the wild card, which made the baseball playoffs more exciting. Also, it allowed more cities to catch the pennant fever in September and gave teams with good seasons the chance to play onward through October. Savage chuckled. I added that attendance has gone up and revenues have been solid, especially considering the state of America’s National Pastime back in the mid-1990s. Then I talked about “Bad Bud,” which got yet another chuckle out of Savage. I didn’t like inter-league play and the Commissioner’s office treating Barry Bonds like he was the only player who roided up during the past decade. The fact Bud turned a blind eye to when home runs were shooting out of ballparks in the late 1990s only made him look worse when he acted like the end-all solution to baseball’s steroid problem was with Bonds.
It was about this time that my alarm clock went off, and instead of hitting the snooze button 20 times like I normally do I decided to get the hell out of this unconscious state. Sadly, I’ll never know what my grade ended up being. He seemed interested in the topic, although I think he also knew I was making this shit up as I went along. When compared to the other students that read their reports, I deserved the top grade – at least a B+ if I was to be penalized for, you know, not actually doing the assignment.
• In other news, I think I caught a chick checking me out today at a red light. Her windows must have been tinted from the inside.
1 p.m.
• Yeah, because no gal EVER wants her dad to give her away at her wedding.
Christ, when I started dating the future Mrs. kkk 10+ years ago I saw this book with a list of her future flower girls, ring bearers and all that other shit that people do at weddings.
9:30 p.m.
• I don't know if this guy was any good at his job, but not a "cultural fit." What, was he a Republican?
9:30 p.m.
• The hell?
I always thought he was Mormon, not Jewish.
Back to reality.
• It’s funny how your opinion about an album can change over the years. Take for example the first disc of 2Pac’s “All Eyes On Me.” Oh, I’m sorry, “All Eyez On Me.” When I first got this album back in 1996, my favorite tracks were “All About U,” “Life Goes On” and “No More Pain.” However, whenever I put this disc in I’ve found myself leaning more toward “2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted” and “Heartz of Men.” Man, I remember back when this album first came out “Life Goes On” was blasting in just about every car/jeep in my corner of suburbia. Thuggin’ ain’t easy. If you ain’t home in time from playing gangsta you’d get grounded. Odd thing is I can’t remember the last time I’ve listened to the second disc of this album. Same goes for the “Remember Me” double-LP that came out after Pac died. Now that I think about it, I can’t recall the last time I’ve listened to a second disc of multi-LP. Let me scan through my CDs.
…
There’s that Ramones compliation and the ACDC Live album, but I forgot all about Rush’s three-disc Chronicles concert album. Damn that was one good purchase.
8:15 p.m.
• Week 5, look alive.
(3.5) Arizona @ St. Louis
I have no reason other than that the Cards had a big win last week, and the Rams have to win sometime – or at least lose by three.
Atlanta @ Tennessee (8.5)
Do I think the Falcons will win? No. I just think the Titans won’t win by a lot.
Carolina @ New Orleans (3.5)
OK, what do I do here? Both teams have fucked me over so far this year. I guess I’ll go with the Saints because the Panthers have boned me more, so now I have to give the Saints a chance to play catch up.
Cleveland @ New England (16.5)
The Pats have to slip up one of these weeks, but I might as well ride this horse until it breaks a leg or two.
Detroit @ Washington (3.5)
Hmm, the red people screwed me over against the Giants, but this should be the time of the season when the Lions start showing us why they get so many high first-round picks.
(2.5) Jacksonville @ Kansas City
For some reason I think this is a steal. Someone from Jacksonville must be hurt or something.
Miami @ Houston (5.5)
Wow. I was about to go with Miami under the “they must win sometime” rule, but why bother. I kinda feel for Joey Porter playing on a shit team like this, but he’s got his ring and he’s got his money. I just hope he doesn’t suffer some terrible injury while finishing out his career.
N.Y. Jets @ N.Y. Giants (3.5)
I wonder how much of a home-field advantage the Giants have this game?
Seattle @ Pittsburgh (5.5)
Hines Ward is out, as is a few other starters. Maybe now Seattle will stop bitching about the Super Bowl. Yeah, the officials hosed you, but you guys lost. Game over. Steelers will score 21.
Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis (10.5)
My first hunch was to go with the Bucs. I decided against it. Let’s see if I should have went with my first instinct.
(3.5) Baltimore @ San Francisco
Bummer. And I thought the 49ers were going to take things to the next level. Oh well.
San Diego @ Denver (1.5)
OK, I’m tired of waiting for the Chargers to turn things around.
Chicago @ Green Bay (3.5)
I am really tempted to go with the Bears on this one. The Packers are coming off a big week, and this is a divisional game. However, I heard a few people are out on the Bears defense.
(10.5) Dallas @ Buffalo
LOL – this is the MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL game? Boy did ESPN get dicked over this “Monday Night” agreement. The only two things I can think of in a positive light regarding this abortion that takes place every Monday night is Ron Jaworski – I like him. Plus the game is on at an earlier time.
10 a.m.
• So about a week ago we bought a new comforter at Targert on clearance. I was a little skeptical about this keeping the better half warm, especially it wasn’t as “thick” as our current comforter, which is on is last legs. However, I must say this mo fo’ is doing the job. Several times already I’ve woken up in a sweat due to this thing. The real test will come in January, but for now it’s coming through with flying colors. When we were at Target, I suggested getting two or three of these comforters because they were on clearance. Mrs. kkk said “Why would we need more than one?” Well this morning JJ threw up on this dry-clean only comforter. Guess where we are going later today? Yep.
9:30 p.m.
• So we went grocery shopping tonight, and we were by the meat section. I was eyeing up some 92 percent lean ground beef on sale when some old broad starting bitching about the price of pig's bone, or whatever the hell that shit was. She then started bitching to me and the better half about how you have to be a "millionaire" in order to feed your family. It took every fiber of my being to hold back, and Mrs. kkk took the brunt of this "back in my day" shit because she knew I was about to piss someone off big time. You know, if you're trying to feed your family, I don't think you'd be buying a BONE.
2:15 p.m.
• Call me John Kerry on this issue, but I really don’t fault either Trent Green or Travis Johnson for their actions in Sunday’s game. Here’s the story.
From what I have heard, and according to the article above, Green threw a legal block, but a player getting cut like that could suffer a season-ending injury. So when the defensive player starts yelling at the downed quarterback right after the play, I don’t blame him one bit for doing so. And that “scarecrow” quote is my line of the week.
If the NFL really wants to do something to better the league, then they should do something about cut-blocking, or whatever it’s called, instead of teams calling “time out” right before the other team’s kicker boots a pigskin through the uprights.
On and regarding Keith Olberman, would he have called Green THE WORST PERSON IN THE NFL if Johnson would have been carted off and the Dolphins quarterback got up without a scratch?
11:45 a.m.
• Long story short: So the idiot boss is the head of some publicity/marketing committee that is putting some event together outside of work. Now my co-worker and I know this guy who is part of planning for this event (which is doomed for failure), and our “deep throat” told us that our boss volunteered to head up this committee because he “has connections” within the media. Guess what I got 20 minutes ago? An e-mail from said idiot. What was the e-mail about? Him asking for my list of local media contacts. Yeah, he’s got connections alright. Oh, and speaking of publicity, he hasn’t given me any information about this event for publication in our mailing material, and the next mailing will be going out after this event’s RSVP deadline. God I love this place.
10:30 p.m.
• More wedded bliss. From a conversation with the better half today (she took the day off work). You can figure out who is who.
“How was work?”
“It was work. How was your day.”
”Oh I had an emotional breakdown while eating my Boo Berry.”
“Uh-huh. An emotional breakdown over what?”
”I don’t know.”
“OK then.”
Oddly enough, her monthly visitor is due next week. Christ almighty I couldn’t imagine being a chick. The last time I had an emotional breakdown Barry Bonds was unable to throw out Sid Bream at the plate.
• Speaking of work, it turns out we’re hiring some chick who fits the perfect description of being an officer employee at my place. Low self-esteem, no prospects, willing to get the life sucked out of her little by little day by day. Actually, she didn’t get hired for the job we were advertising for. That job is going to go to another co-worker who is pretty much doing the job of three people (at least). Long story short, there are three of us who do our job while everyone else slacks off or are completely fucking clueless and criminal. I’m one of the three. My co-worker who is in the office next to me is the second. The person getting shifted over to a new position is the third. Turns out this newly hired person may be getting more than the $8/hour originally planned because management is telling the current employee getting shifted over that she’ll be getting a SUBSTANTIAL RAISE when reviews are done. There’s one little catch: WE DON’T HAVE REVIEWS! We get some gay-ass “cost of living” thing at the start of each year. There is no “review.” You know, sometimes you can evaluate yourself by the company you keep. However, I like to also think you can do the same thing by looking at who views you as an enemy/threat.
Another work story, sort of. My co-worker and I were talking this morning, and the subject of my animal-loving wackiness was brought up. He called me an animal-rights wacko because I was going off on some children < pets rant. I disagreed with his assessment, primarily because an animal-rights wacko thinks animals are on the same level as people. I disagree. My cats aren’t as “equal” as me. In fact, they are vastly inferior, which is why they need my protection. However, I will say that they provide more to society than many people, particularly my crack-whore sister-in-law and the out-of-control niece. For example, my three kids
1) Provide companionship.
2) Squash bugs.
3) Let us know someone is at the door because they run away and hide.
4) Serve as an alarm clock because if they don’t get fed by 5:30-6 a.m. they wake us up, or at least they wake up Mrs. kkk. This has actually kept us from being late for work a number of times.
I just named four things Dessa, JJ and Max do to earn their keep. I can’t think of one thing my two relatives mentioned above have done for the greater good. Let’s see, they:
1) Don’t work.
2) Collect welfare.
3) Use emergency services for drug overdoses that are nothing more than attempts to get attention.
4) Get free government health care for conditions caused by drug and alcohol abuse.
And if a dog/cat gets put in a shelter they only have a week to be adopted before getting the needle, but yet we have an “affordable housing crisis” for our underclass. Put the pets in the shelters and gas those living off the public dole.
8:45 p.m.
• Damn you Bush economy. And here I thought living paycheck to paycheck was supposed to be fun.
Wait, what-?
So people living paycheck to paycheck can’t afford the super market food and buy from CONVENIENCE STORES?
Speak for yourself. This week’s grocery bill went from $80 down to $50 thanks to my Jew eye. Actually, I did a little number-crunching regarding last month’s household budget. There were several expenses that were non-regular or unexpected [$400 car insurance premium, JJ’s $100 trip to the vet for his acne(!), local taxes ($100), job interview and other clothes ($300), family cookout ($100), etc.] and with this $1,000 in unexpected expenses, we still managed to be $200 in the black for the month. I went and calculated all the money we saved on food and clothes thanks to coupons and sales, and that total came to just under $600. And we didn’t buy milk or eggs at the Quickie Mart.
7:45 a.m.
• I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I really don’t have a “favorite” baseball team. However, when playoff time comes I usually just pick a team or two and pull for them. If they win, yay. If they lose, whatever. It’s not up there at the level of bandwagon-jumping but rather it’s more like taking part in a “pick ‘em” contest just for the sake of watching a game and having some kind of vested interest in it. I’ve been doing this for several years now and thought I’d look back and see how my picks fared.
I pulled for the Padres in 1998 and they lost. I pulled for the Yankees in 1999 and 2000 and they won each time. I don’t necessarily pull for the Yankees because they’re the Yankees. In fact, I oftentimes can’t stand the saturated coverage of this team. However, I side with the pinstripes more times than naught because so many other people hate them. There are other teams with this polarizing attraction – Notre Dame, Dallas Cowboys, L.A. Lakers – and generally I’m in the “against” them camp (although I don’t mind the present-day Cowboys). However, the Yankees, for now, are an exception to this rule. Where was I? Oh, yeah. 2001.
I wanted Schilling to win it with the Diamondbacks in '01, and they did. In '02, I pulled for the Angles and they won, although the real reason was because I didn’t want Bonds winning a title, and I don’t like Racist Dusty. I sided with the Marlins when they beat the Cubs, then Yanks (although I was indifferent as to who won the Series – once again, I didn't want Racist Dusty anywhere near a World Series) I sided with the Yankees when they lost to the Red Sox after being up 3-0 in '04. I was indifferent in '05, although if forced to make a choice, I would have hoped for the Astros to win. Pulled for the Cardinals last year because of all the OMG THEY JUST CRACK .500 AND DIDN'T BELONG talk.
So let's see:
1998: No
1999: Yes
2000: Yes
2001: Yes
2002: Yes
2003: Yes
2004: No
2005: No
2006: Yes
This year, I decided early in the first round that the Indians would be this year's team. Could I be due for another loss?
11:30 p.m.
• After a bye in which I rested my tweaked hamstring, it’s onto this week's pickkks.
Arizona @ Washington (8.5)
Now Warner is hurt. Ouch. There are some franchises that seem to get all the bad breaks, and Arizona seems like one for me. However, they are also one of the worst franchises in any league, so oh well.
Atlanta @ New Orleans (8.5)
OK, the Saints had a great game last week. Will the turnaround begin here? I don’t know, but I’ll take my chances.
(3.5) Baltimore @ Buffalo
The Bills HAVE to win some time. Bah, the Ravens will win by 30.
Minnesota @ Dallas (9.5)
Well, the Vikings aren’t the Patriots. I’ll give the Cowboys a pass and hope they keep on beating teams they’re supposed to beat buy bunches of points.
(17.5) New England @ Miami
I’ve gone with the Pats this year, but oh what the hell. The Dolpins will lose by just TWO TOUCHDOWNS.
San Francisco @ N.Y. Giants (9.5)
The Giants will win, but hopefully the 49ers will try to make this a contest.
Tampa Bay @ Detroit (2.5)
Buccaneers have been doing better than I thought. The Lions are the Lions.
(1.5) Tennessee @ Houston
Hmmm, I don’t know if Vince Young will be playing this week. I wish I would pay more attention to what goes on during the week. I’m sure this won’t be decided by 1 point, so I’ll treat this as a straight up/down contest, and I’ll go with the Titans.
Kansas City @ Oakland (2.5)
Raiders have already won their quota of games for the year. I’ll hope Larry Johnson decides to show up.
N.Y. Jets @ Cincinnati (6.5)
Both teams don’t do anything for me, but I expected the Bengals to be better. For that reason, I’ll go with the Jets.
Chicago @ Philadelphia (5.5)
I have no clue how the Eagles offense will do against a Bears defense that was supposed to be good. I also have no clue if Westbrook is gong to play. I have no clue.
St. Louis @ Seattle (9.5)
The Seahawks will make the playoffs because they get to play games like this. Then again, this will probably be the week the Rams decide to be competitive.
(3.5) Pittsburgh @ Denver
I’m not sure if the Steelers will repeat their success in Denver, but I’ll go with this spread. Steelers will score 27.
(3.5) Indianapolis @ Jacksonville
Indy will probably win, but the Jags always play them tough. I think.
10:15 p.m.
• Oh for fuck's sake. I hate these people.
OK, I'll side with them on this one issue. Having the "silence" at the start of third period is stupid. My school had it during homeroom before classes started right after the Pledge of Allegiance.
Ha. "Changed jsut a single word," that's a pretty big change.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, the only thing I hate more than a Bible-thumper are these fags who get their panties in a knot over stupid shit like this. "Awkward position"? Here's how it was done at my school:
Homeroom bell rings.
Stand and do the Pledge. Something I once created a stink about. Yeah, I'm a terrorist.
The announcer guy says "Please remain standing for a short moment of silence."
*several seconds pass*
"Please be seated."
OMG THE RELIGIOUS REICH IS TAKING OVER~!
N*gga plz. During this brief moment of silence I was either nodding off because it was too early in the morning to think or I was looking at some nearby chick’s rack or backside. I’m sure there were other students that actually used this time to pray or say “what up” to their Deity of choice. Big fucking deal. Get over yourselves.
8:45 p.m.
• So today was the better half big “pizza open house” or whatever brown-nosing stunt her boss was trying to accomplish at work today. Now Mrs. kkk told me that a whole bunch of academic assholes showed up and began talking about how the U.S. tortures innocent people, starves children and all that other left-wing shit those with no experience in the real world chat about. On a side note, the better half’s co-worker asked her why I wasn’t at this event on my day off from work. Mrs. kkk’s response: If he was here he wouldn’t be asked back. Awesome. Oddly enough, if I’m at an event that’s not an informal get-together between people I know, I generally keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to ruin a host’s brouhaha. However, there are times when I will open my mouth, and this might have been one of those times. Actually, I want to meet the wife’s boss and hope she spews some of this commie shit with me because I’ll throw right back at her. What I love about pissing someone off regarding this sort of thing is that I really don’t care what their opinion is. Seriously. So what if someone you’re talking to doesn’t like the person you voted for in the last election. If you get legitimately mad over a person’s thoughts it that means you on some level take to heart what they think. That’s pathetic.
One pseudo-example of this experiences over the years has been when the topic of abortion is brought up. I mean, just because you say “murder the unborn” people get all bent out of shape. Uh, am I advocating the halting of sucking potential Social Security contributors from wombs and dumping them in the trash? No. I am simply calling a spade a spade. But yet I’ve had people go WOMEN’S REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS GWARRRR~! Yay. Here’s the point: I don’t CARE what you think. You want to advocate the killing of innocent babies – knock yourself out. What you think doesn’t matter to me. I’m more concerned about effectively wiping my browneye after taking a shit than your opinion on abortion or any other subject.
Where was I going with this? Oh, that mixer. So Mrs. kkk then made my week by telling my that her Ph.D. boss fucked up making a SALAD for this “open house.” She asked me to guess how she was able to achieve this remarkable feat. My first guess was not getting enough salad. Wrong. Mrs. kkk then said that she made it last night, and that’s when I responded “Good God she didn’t put the salad dressing on then, did she?” Yep.
How the fuck does this person make six figures? I think a great reality show would be to get a bunch of academics and for them to survive in the real world. “I’ve worked for the private sector – they expect results.”
Oh, I forgot to mention some other topics that were discussed at this workplace gathering by these Ph.D.’s was how religion was the cause of addiction and that we should live in a society where there’s no mores or rules. This was around the time Mrs. kkk left the room and went back into her office. This also would have been the time I probably would have opened my mouth, which would have resulted in mass exodus 5-10 minutes later.
1 p.m.
• Week 8's pickkks.
(3.5) Cleveland @ St. Louis
Yeah the Rams are terrible, but they have to win SOMETIME, and playing Cleveland is usually one of "those times."
Detroit @ Chicago (5.5)
I think I picked the Lions to win earlier this year, and I was right. Now it's the Bears turn with their brand-spanking new QB.
(7.5) Indianapolis @ Carolina
I dunno. Indy is good. That's all.
(10.5) N.Y. Giants @ Miami
Here's is my reasoning. When I saw some ESPN report earlier this week, the Giants talked about practicing right away. Jason Taylor of the Dolphins talked about the blow-up doll the league was using to promote this game in England. Yeah, that's my scouting report.
Oakland @ Tennessee (7.5)
Tennessee beats bad teams. Oakland isn't a good team.
(1.5) Philadelphia @ Minnesota
I dunno. The Eagles seem to be struggling, but the Vikings QB looked dismal last week. Then again, that QB isn't playing this week. Shit.
(3.5) Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati
This is an odd one. The away team wins more than naught, but I have a feeling this could change in '08. Nevertheless, I'm going with the Steelers.
Buffalo @ N.Y. Jets (2.5)
The Jets? Favored? Nah.
Houston @ San Diego (3.5)
This game was off the books when I posted the spread, so I'll gladly take it.
Jacksonville @ Tampa Bay (4.5)
The AFC is a better conference. Great logic there.
(3.5) New Orleans @ San Francisco
The Saints upward march continues.
Washington @ New England (16.5)
I think the Redskins defense could keep this somewhat close, but you have to ride the Pats until they are unable to beat an opponent by 20 points. I learned my lesson earlier this season.
Green Bay @ Denver (3.5)
The AFC is a better conference. Great logic there.
9:30 p.m.
• If this isn't a reason to call in sick Monday if you work in the big city, I don't know what is.
Actually, it's funny to watch pedestrians cross streets in cities because it's like a school of fish. Strength in numbers, and if someone gets picked off, there's a good chance it won't be you.
6:45 p.m.
• Now it's time to play "How long have you been posting at TSM?"
Quick. Your first thought.
6:30 p.m.
• This guy gets the boot but the Ninth Circus is still getting funded by taxpayers? If anything, the judge below should get a promotion. If the red diaper doper babies from the Ninth used a coin flip to determine rulings they probably would have a lesser overtuned rate.
8 p.m.
• So I finally got around to watching Apocalypto. Spoilerz
1) The chick in the hole squirts out a kid while the pit is being flooded?
2) Hooray for whitey.
3) So there's a solar eclipse right when Mr. Jaguar is about to get sliced AND the Europeans touch ground right when he runs out on the beach. Boy, magic really does happen in Hollywood.
8 p.m.
• So I was debating on whether to go into work today. I’m still not at the busy time of the month, but this is the busy time of year for me (well, this and March) and there’s a shitload of work I still need to do. Something was telling me last night that if I didn’t take advantage of this free day then it’ll come back to haunt me. I was right. When I checked my e-mail this morning, I got a note from the idiot boss saying he wants a Tuesday meeting to discuss a whole bunch of shit I don’t have the time to do. I swear to Christ when bosses see that you are completing your work on time or (gasp!) early, that doesn’t mean you are doing a good job. That just means you don’t have enough work to do. Oh well, just means more time I get to take off during the workweek. Woo-hoo.
• But is she hot?
Looks like she could get jail time with that mug. Here’s my favorite part.
“MAY mean”? The fuck. How about “does mean.” Whatever, it’s not like it’s all that hard to sneak back in anyway. Hold on a second.
Why were the police searching for him now -- how about searching for illegals once they sneak over the border?
7:45 p.m.
• I just got done entering in this week’s first wave of kkk Bowl V picks, so now I’m inspired after looking at everyone’s selections to get mine going.
Arizona @ Tampa Bay (3.5)
Oh hell I don’t know. Is Warner playing? Uh, I’ll go with Tampa. No, Arizona. No, Tampa. Yes, Tampa.
Carolina @ Tennessee (4.5)
Titans didn’t win big last week. I’ll take the spread. Time for Carolina to under-achieve.
(1.5) Cincinnati @ Buffalo
Lemme see, go with the scrappy Bills of the underachieving Bengals? I’ll go with the Bills because they play tougher and they’re at home. Of course, by “tougher” I mean “with less talent.” Then again, I have no idea who’s on each team, so I’ll just stop now.
Denver @ Detroit (3.5)
Yeah the Broncos lost last week, but this is the Lions. The Lions.
Green Bay @ Kansas City (2.5)
Oh hell no. The Chiefs are favored? I’m taking this in a heartbeat. This of course means the Chiefs quarterback (whoever he is) will throw for 400 yards.
Jacksonville @ New Orleans (3.5)
I heard the Jags quarterback is still out, so I’ll hope the Saints will eventually break down the Jacksonville defense.
(7.5) San Diego @ Minnesota
LT v. AP – then again, both play offense so unless there’s some special teams quirk they won’t face each other.
San Francisco @ Atlanta (3.5)
Is Alex Smith playing? Dunno. Shit, I don’t want Atlanta.
(3.5) Washington @ N.Y. Jets
Here’s hoping the Redskins do better against another AFC East team. Something tells me they will.
Seattle @ Cleveland (1.5)
I know they’re 4-3, but there’s something holding me back from taking the Browns seriously.
Houston @ Oakland (3.5)
Something tells me there are some injuries on the Texans roster for the Raiders to be favored. Oh well. Go subs.
(5.5) New England @ Indianapolis
Something tells me this game is going to bite me in the ass, but I’m getting a USC/Texas vibe. Besides, if Indy wins I’ll look like a genius.
(3.5) Dallas @ Philadelphia
WTF is up with Andy Reid’s kids? Buncha screw ups.
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
Wow, that’s a big spread. I’m still having flashbacks to last season when the Ravens made the Steelers their bitch. Twice. I don’t think they’ll win, but wow, that’s a big spread. Steelers will score 27.
7:15 p.m.
• Notre Dame. LOL.
9 p.m.
• Isn't that writer's strike supposed to stop this crap from being made?
How about showing us what happened in the voting booths when Gloria Rubenstein thought she was voting for Pat Buchanan or "Al Lieberman"? Better yet, I want to see some snarling police dogs prevent minorities from entering polling places.
7:45 p.m.
• Grocery shopping news. The personal shoppers are down until further notice. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Fuck, that means I'll have to deal with cashiers bitching about their jobs. Hey, I bitch about my job but I do it in a funny way. These people talk to each other all day asking when they're going on break/done for the day. I swear I'm going to do a "wave" or yell "yaaaaay" when this happens. It'll be just like a drinking game only without the booze -- you have to go to a state store to purchase those adult beverages. It wasn't bad tonight because our store is moving products all over the place, which makes no sense to me but a bunch of corporate idiots probably circle-jerked one night and decided this would be the best way to piss off customers and make the employees life a living hell because they would have to answer 1,000 times per shift "why are you guys moving all this stuff around?" Well anyway, there was a cute experience today when the better half and I were walking down the candy aisle and this kid was trying to get her mom to buy her something. I don't know that the kid wanted, but this was her reasoning.
"Mom please please please can I get this? It's really good. I haven't had it yet."
Oh the mind of a child.
• So I voted today. Yay. Bunch of local people -- went straight Republican or didn't vote for people I never heard of before. Oddly enough, this was the longest wait I've had ever when voting, and this was an off-year/post-mid-term election. Weird.
Speaking of local politics, this is good news.
We're not quite there yet, but it's progress.
Besides, a lot of those Democrats are conservative, which is perfectly fine -- as long as we can keep the blacks out, which is something both parties out here can agree upon.
