9 p.m.
• My one local RIGHT-WING RADIO host had a field day with this story today.
You know who I feel for? The people that weren't deemed "qualified" for this public works job (which probably pays twice my salary) and got passed over for the "best candidate."
8:15 p.m.
• Another work story. No, I’m not going to bitch about anything. My co-worker has a near out-of-control teen step-daughter that is on the early path to crack-whoredom just like my out-of-control niece-in-law. Now my co-worker goofs of me because I treat my cats like kids. Too bad. Yeah, I know I’m a psycho, but at least I don’t dress them up in costumes for Halloween or take them to get pictures taken with Santa at the mall. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, every time he talks about his kid I then talk about the hardships of raising my three kids. Example:
Him: Beth called the wife at 11 p.m. last night and was throwing a fit because ever since she moved in with her father he hasn’t been driving her anywhere she wants to go.
Me: JJ took a poop and ran up and down the steps for five minutes like a psycho.
I've been doing this for about a week now, and so far it's Cats: 9, Kid: 0.
Oh, and speaking of my out-of-control niece-in-law, from what I hear she’s fucking 50-years-olds for crack and broke into her crack-whore mother’s apartment (paid for by the taxpayer), beat her up and stole $100. She also has two warrants out for her arrest because she doesn’t show up for court dates.
• LOL – Savage is having a field day with these anti-Iraq movies that aren’t doing so well at the box office.
9 p.m.
• So I haven't been much of a fan of the "It's Comcastic" ad campaign, but some of these ads featuring people trying to change history because they are on a NEW COMCAST PHONE LINE do get a chuckle out of me. "You tiger now." "Sorry, you're still going to lose your leg." Well, it's better than most of the shit on TV. But here's the reason I really like these ads. Well, not "really like." How about "think are OK." That's better. Oh, yeah. Shiny object.
Back in Ohio I worked at a place that had projects. If you didn't make it to training for a project, you didn't get put on a project. You didn't get put on a project, you didn't work. Simple enough. Well, I remember this one guy (I forget his name) who was signed up for a project and didn't show up for the two-three days of training. He came in the next day expecting to get one-on-one training. Ha. What made this all the funnier was seeing my one boss explain to him that he wasn't going to be working for the next month or two because of this. Here's how the conversation went down. For the sake of the discussion, I'll call the guy Mike.
Boss: "Mike, you didn't show up for training. You can't work on this project."
Mike: "I know that, but can't you get someone to show me how to do this one?"
Boss: "No. They are all working with the people who showed up for training. You didn't and if someone doesn't show up for training they don't work on a project."
Mike: "I know that but I have come on other projects midway through."
Boss: "That's because you were in a group that was going to assist with a project and your whole group got trained."
Mike: "I know that but I've come in when you people asked me to."
Boss: "But that doesn't matter. You aren't going to be working on this project because you didn't show up for the required training."
Mike: "I know that but..."
And on and on and on. God was it hilarious to hear him reply after every exchange, "I know that." I never heard from this guy again. Oh well.
6 a.m.
• Pickkks. Go.
Arizona @ Cincinnati (3.5)
I don’t know. I saw Kurt Warner on Jim Rome’s ESPN show this week. Does he have “Jungle Karma” for his TV show?
Carolina @ Green Bay (9.5)
No clue as to who is injured on the Panthers. They’ve screwed me over during the last few years so fuck them.
(3.5) Cleveland @ Baltimore
The Browns are playing MUCH better, but I’m praying the Ravens can eek out a win or close loss at home in a divisional contest. Then again, that didn’t bode well for me last time they played.
Kansas City @ Indianapolis (14.5)
Indy’s lost two in a row. Dwight Freeney is out. I heard that KC is first in the NFC West. Here’s hoping this is a “bounce back” game.
Miami @ Philadelphia (10.5)
The Dolphins HAVE to win sometime – or at least not lose in double digits. Don’t they?
(16.5) New England @ Buffalo
OK, Buffalo, prove me right in picking you to lose to the Patriots by less than two touchdowns.
New Orleans @ Houston (0.5)
Here’s hoping the Saints bounce back from that loss last week to the formerly winless Rams. I’m sure somebody’s hurt on the Texans.
Oakland @ Minnesota (5.5)
Adrian Peterson is out. Come on, Raiders. You can do this.
(10.5) Pittsburgh @ N.Y. Jets
I heard the Jets running defense was last in the NFL. Look how good that was for me when the Steelers played Denver. Still think they’ll win. And score 27 points.
San Diego @ Jacksonville (2.5)
Isn’t someone from the Jags out due to roids?
(3.5) Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
I can’t remember much about the Buccaneers. Are they supposed to contend for their divison?
Washington @ Dallas (10.5)
The Cowboys have been mostly reliable for me this year.
(2.5) N.Y. Giants @ Detroit
I still can’t take Detroit seriously. Not like I do for the Giants, either.
(3.5) St. Louis @ San Francisco
A one-win team favored. On the road? And I’m taking it?
Chicago @ Seattle (5.5)
Something is telling me to go with the Bears here. Don’t know why.
Tennessee @ Denver (2.5)
Eh, I’ll still go with the Titans. I like Vince Young if only for his public statements and the fact he beat a bunch of USC queers a few years back. I still find it funny that one of them is now his running back and the former offensive coordinator of that university is one of his coaches. He still is, right?
10:15 a.m.
• Well, in two-and-a-half hours I will be over the in-laws place for another Thanksgiving excursion. Yay. Actually, the last few years haven’t been that bad. We show up, Mrs. kkk has me carry these nasty veggie dishes in, along with a dessert or two that’s much more tolerable, and we eat. Also included in this meal are the brother-in-law, along with his wife and two kids. Not a bad day. Years ago, the crack-whore sister-in-law and the out-of-control niece took part. However, ever since the crack-whore sister-in-law really hit rock bottom a few years ago (and decided to stay there) she hasn’t been attending, which isn’t a bad thing. Actually, the first time she boycotted us we all commented that this was the best Turkey Day outing in recent memory. The highlight came at about 1:15 p.m. when the crack-whore called and asked my father-in-law if he was still going to pick her up the next day to go to a laundromat that’s only a block or two down from her ghetto apartment complex. She then expressed shock that she called in the midst of us eating, even though the in-law have always had Thanksgiving “dinner” at 1 p.m.
Well this year is going to be extra special because the crack-whore out-of-control niece is scheduled to attend with her boyfriend. Oh yay. Months ago she moved out of the in-laws residence and the crashing and burning has been going strong. I can’t remember the last time I saw this person, but I remember that the last time I did I commented on how “downhill” she has fallen. Please note I said this out of joy rather than pity because once the crack-whore sister-in-law meets that kidney dialysis machine in the sky we need someone else to pick up the torch and give me plenty of white trash stories to tell to you all. However, I must admit I think the out-of-control niece-in-law will probably die sometime soon and the crack-whore sister-in-law will outlive me. But that’s neither here nor there. It’ll be interesting to see how many people shun her at this event. I also know that I won’t be bringing my wallet.
Over the last few weeks, the niece-in-law has been dropping hints to my mother-in-law about wanting to come back to her house. Much to my surprise, the mother-in-law has stood firm, or at least as firm as she can. The only victim in this whole story is the poor kitten the niece-in-law has adopted a few months back that has (I’m sure) gone without its shots and other related vet care. Every time I hear a story about the niece-in-law – whether it’s getting busted for crack, getting busted for a domestic disturbance or getting warrants for not appearing in court, my first and only reaction is “but is the cat OK?”
On a somewhat related note, here’s a story about other in-laws that I have to see once or twice every year. The welfare collecting in-law relatives that host that Memorial Day cookout recently complained about having to cook a Thanksgiving Day meal. This caused the welfare collecting test tube family (think toothless Mexican) to invite them over to their house for Turkey Day. The matriarch of the test tube bunch then went out and bought used food stamps to get a bunch of food. I knew trouble was brewing when the Memorial Day welfare household then went out and got a Thanksgiving turkey anyway late last week (the reason given for this was because they wanted “leftovers). The test tube family then got a message on their answering machine at 10:45 p.m. on Monday from the other welfare family saying that they weren’t going to attend because …. It was supposed to rain on Thanksgiving and they didn’t want to get wet. No, I’m not making this up. Why would I have to when you’ve got material like this to use?
10 a.m.
• Time for Turkkkey Day Pickkks.
(3.5) Green Bay at Detroit. Christ, I don’t know how to take this one. Green Bay should win. However, the Lions have played a tough game or two on Turkey Day game. Every fiber of my being is telling me to bold “Green Bay,” but like an idiot I am not.
N.Y. Jets at Dallas. (14.5) I don’t see the Jets upsetting two playoff teams in a row. However, I have to say Rush may have had a point this past week when he said to a caller that the Jets players got pissed when they saw as many Steeler fans at that game than hometown fans. I have admit I knew my chances of the Steelers winning by 10+ points were dashed after that trick play (flea-flicker?), but I couldn’t help but laugh to hear all the boos that sprung forth after that play was successfully executed.
(11.5) Indianapolis at Atlanta. I actually had to pause when making this decision. Could Atlanta pull off the upset and lose by single digits? Well, I went with Detroit earlier, so I need to salvage this day.
Buffalo at Jacksonville (7.5). Jacksonville seems to resemble the Steelers in that they tend to play down to their competition at times. Here’s hoping this is one of those instances.
Denver at Chicago (2.5). The Broncos have been my bane this season so I’m picking them, which only means they’ll lose big.
Houston at Cleveland. 3.5 Houston started out OK, then sputtered. I’ll go with the Browns because they still have a legit shot at winning the AFC North. Wow, who would have thought about that in August?
Minnesota at N.Y. Giants (7.5). Here’s hoping the Vagiants begin that late-season collapse they are famous for.
New Orleans (3.5) at Carolina. The Saints lose a bunch of games. Then win a bunch. Now they’ve lost a few. Too bad the Panthers are terrible at home.
Oakland at Kansas City. (5.5) I’ve tried the “they have to win SOME TIME” line of thought with the Raiders. I’ve given up. I guess they were content with winning their season’s quota of games early on and coasting to the rest of the way toward the top pick in next year’s draft.
(3.5) Seattle at St. Louis. The Rams winning streak ends.
(1.5) Tennessee at Cincinnati. I’m calling the upset baby. No reason.
Washington at Tampa Bay. (3.5) Hmm, I’m getting nothing from this one. Tampa’s favored. They seem to be doing OK for an NFC South team. Sure, I’ll take ‘em.
San Francisco at Arizona. (10.5) What the hell happened to the 49ers? I was actually rooting for them to win the division because I’m sick of seeing Seattle in the playoffs. I can’t wait to see how the Cardinals will look next year with Fanaca anchoring that line.
Baltimore at San Diego (9.5). Both teams have boned me this year. I’d take San Diego to win, but not by that spread.
Philadelphia at New England. (22.5) This is getting hilarious. I’m sorry, but I tried to come up with a reason to bet against the Pats. I couldn’t.
Miami at Pittsburgh. (15.5) I’m hoping this is a “bounce back” game for the Steelers. I wonder if Joey Porter will do something special in this contest for the Dolphins?
6 p.m.
• So I started out by waking up at 2:45 a.m. to get ready for a 4 a.m. opening at Kohl’s. The store is only 15 minutes away, but I knew I wasn’t getting my ass up the first time my alarm clock went off. Especially since I ate a bunch of turkey the night before and watched the night game with the Colts at Atlanta. After hitting the snooze alarm a half-dozen or so times, I took my shower. Even the cats were surprised at how early I was getting up. We I get up for work at 5:15 a.m., that usually causes them to mill about until they get fed breakfast. This time they just laid in place until I got out of the shower and put their food in their dishes.
I knew waking up the better half was going to be a challenge, and I was right. She’s not exactly what you call a “morning person.” Now I’m not really an early bird riser myself, but when you get up 5-6 times a week at 5 a.m. in order to pay your mortgage and put food on the table you adjust. Well, Mrs. kkk doesn’t. When I turned on my nightstand lamp to put in my contacts, I woke her up. Now I have no idea what she was trying to say because she was mostly whining in foreign tongues. However, she did get up, get dressed and was in the car when I left for Kohl’s at 3:40 a.m.
I was curious to see how many people would wake up even earlier from the last time I took part in Black Friday. In 2005 Kohl’s was open at 5 a.m. (one hour earlier than most, if not all, the other local stores in my area) – now they were opening at 4 a.m. This should be an interesting social experiment. Well, the parking lot was near-full when we pulled in at 6 a.m. OK, so it’s going to be busy, but not “Best Buy” busy. I told the better half to get her target gift basket and I was going to go after my shoes that I had lined up. When we both got what we wanted, we’d look around before checking out. Well, I got to the shoe section, and I found the shoes I was looking for. However, my worst fears came to fruition. These shoes weren’t comfortable. I knew there was a catch. No problem, there was another brand that caught my eye, and although they were a bit more expensive, the quality was more than worth the extra few dollars. Besides, I was still saving $28 per pair (I bought two pair – one brown, one black). I met Mrs. kkk and we proceeded to get in line – a line that was halfway around the store. I knew this would happen, but because of my extra dilly-dallying we would have to wait in line a bit more than I had expected. It was then I discovered a terrible oversight.
I forgot my wallet.
Oh you got to be shitting me. Here's what happened. On Turkey Day I was over the in-laws’ house. My crack-whore niece-in-law was at this event. My crack-whore niece-in-law is a thief (she got busted while a teen at Wal-Mart). I kept my wallet at home. I forgot to put my wallet back in my coat pocket. Shit. Well, I told Mrs. kkk that I was going to zip home and get the wallet while she stayed in line. She asked if there would be enough time. I assured her there would be. I was right.
When I got back, the better half was “happily” waiting in line. I took this time to explore a few departments and found a nice deal on this press-iron-thingy that could be of great use. After the better half took a few DVDs off the impulse rack for her one non-crack-whore niece, our total bill was $165 with $205 in savings. We arrived at 4 a.m. and left the store together at 5:30 a.m. Good score. We got several things that were high on our priority list (shoes, gift basket), were able to get something that was likely to be off the shelves right away (gift basket for a better half’s co-worker – Mrs. kkk noted that there were only two left on the shelves at just past 5 a.m.), found a great deal on something that I didn’t see until we actually got in the store (press iron thingy) and managed to get one item crossed off on one niece-in-law’s list (DVD). The first store is, in my opinion, is always the most important. Here’s what I look for when picking a “first store.” My answers to each question are in italics.
1) If you were to visit later in the day, will the items you covet the most at this place be sold out? As I said above, I new the gift baskets would be gone, and I wasn’t sure about the shoes.
2) Is this first store near other stores that you can immediately plunder visit? There’s a Target in the same shopping center complex as Kohl’s, and this store wasn’t opening until 5 a.m. Perfect timing, especially since there are several items at Target that are high on my list of things-to-get.
3) Will the wait in line, which will be long, be worth what you get? I saved $205 while spending $165. Works for me.
4) Who are the customers surrounding you? There’s a reason I don’t go to Wal-Mart for my first store on Black Friday.
As we got into the car and headed over to Target, I thought it was odd that the store’s parking lot wasn’t at all full. That’s weird, the store is closed. The flyer said doors will open at 5 a.m. and it’s now 5:30 a.m. Hey, now I see people waiting outside. What the hell? Wait a second, I’m looking at Target’s Black Friday circular. Shit, I misread the “doors opening” line. It’s 6 a.m., not 5 a.m. Actually, this just might play into our favor. With the time being 5:30, this will give us time to visit the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts, get a flavored coffee and bagel and awaken our senses to what is probably going to be one of the more challenging excursions of the day. And once, again, I was right.
The good news is that with this Target opening up, it probably sucked away some customers from the Target about 10-15 minutes farther on down the road in nearby Greensburg. Less customers, more available products. Good. I remember the last few times I went to Greensburg Target on Black Friday the lines were insane. Well, this year’s experience is a perfect reason why I try not to use a cart. Unless a product is so f’n heavy that you can’t pick it up and carry it, steer free of carts. That mobility is crucial when zipping in and out of aisles. This year was no exception. One of the big items available were these video game chairs, and some soccer moms had 2-3 in their carts. With so many people using carts, there was literal gridlock in the electronics/toy department. I swear to Christ it was like New York City’s rush hour. Nobody could move and I heard a familiar phrase, “Oh, I’m so sorry for running into you.” I guess this is how EricMM must feel when riding his organic bike and seeing SUV’s own the road. However, I’m not one for requiring a “sales cart” tax or similar fascist measures. Instead, I take advantage of my mobility and cut in and out of traffic lanes hell-bent on getting my prized items for this stop: one of those above-mentioned video game chairs, some remote controlled helicopter and a bunch of DVDs.
While scanning the possibilities of trying to maneuver in the toy department, I came across this middle-aged guy who probably wasn’t used to this insanity. He made a remark to me about how crazy this experience was, which prompted me to say something like, “if it wasn’t for those pesky social mores I would lift my arms into attack formation and plow down some of these people in front of me.” He response was that this congestion reminded him of the Parkway East, which got a laugh from both of us. Fortunately for him, he reached one of the end aisles to the toy department and snagged some doll thing which must have been a popular seller because there were only a few left. I said “congratulations,” which elicited the response, “this was the only thing I came in here to get.” Well, at least he got what he was gunning for. I was able to weave in and out of stagnant cart-pushers, and get that helicopter-thing. Fortunately, the video game chair was in a spot away from the congestion, so I picked that up and headed to the register. As I met up with the better half, I noticed that the checkout lines weren’t bad at all, which was a bit of a surprise. This then caused me to say, “I’m going back in – wait for me.” Due to my agility advantage over most of my fellow shoppers, I bobbed and weaved through the masses to the DVD section and snagged eight DVDs/TV seasons/value packs I had in my sights, including a few that Mrs. kkk couldn’t find in widescreen format. (Her goal in Target was to get a few DVDs, which is what she did while I was on my “chopper” hunt.)
Total bill for Target: $142. Total savings: $193.
But there’s more…
2:15 p.m.
• So yesterday I stopped with my Target trip. Our two primary stores were Kohl’s and Target, and with these two gone we just decided to visit other stores just for the heck of it. There were a few more things on our list, but these items probably weren’t going to be on sale and in all likelihood still on the shelves by the time we come around to them.
As we drove from Target out toward some other stores in Greensburg, Mrs. kkk asked if we could go to Lowe’s and get some Christmas decoration for the house. Whatever. We pulled in and she went into Lowe’s while I went into that area’s Target store. I already made my purchases so this was more for recon purposes. Even with a story in my neck of the woods siphoning off customers, this place was still pretty packed. This only reinforced my theory of never going to a Wal-Mart to start off the Black Friday season. Good God I can only imagine the white trash running roughshod over there. Anyway, the reason I mention this event is because the highlight of my day came while at this store. While walking down this one aisle there were these two obese older people walking and the wife was screaming at the husband, and I just had to eavesdrop. Wait, fuck that. This wasn’t eavesdropping. I was in a public place and they were yelling. You can’t help but not hear what they were saying. I’m not sure what happened, but I guess they had planned a certain shopping strategy but the guy screwed it up. And they don’t own cell phones. The best line went something like, “I was waiting FORVER and I couldn’t reach you because you’re too damn cheap to get a cell phone!” My God was this hilarious. And I wasn’t the only one listening. As I turned my head this Asian chick walking beside me was also unsuccessfully trying to hold back her laughter. I made the remark, “Gee, I wonder why he wouldn’t her to be in contact with him 24/7 with a cell phone,” which got a legit LOL from her. After a walk around the store, I went into Lowe’s, met Mrs. kkk while she bought her thing and heard her plans for the next 10 home improvement projects she has in store for our house. Yay. Too bad I won’t be doing any of that shit. Total purchase: $21. No discount.
After that was Wal-Mart. Like I said earlier, I would NEVER go into one of these stores to start out my Black Friday shopping. I’ve seen Internet video of these mobs and I’ll pass. I’m not one who tends to get trampled but why expend all that extra energy holding your ground when it can be applied to better things? Generally, once it’s past 8 a.m. the Wal-Mart around me tends to clear out. We swooped in and bought a bunch of DVDs for us and for some family members. Total purchase: $55. Savings: $80.
After Wal-Mart we walked into a few stores that is also in this area’s shopping center but didn’t purchase anything. I did want to stop at a nearby Big Lots, of which I am not a regular customer. I now have come to the following conclusion: Wal-Mart isn’t the pinnacle of white trash consumerism, at least in my region. Holy hell was this place open up my eyes. As I walked in I noted the plethora of “warning/recall” flyers posted about products this store sells. Then the customers too poor for Wal-Mart. Yikes. And the gifts. Beer Pong. Nice. Of course, I found this cheap crap for my mother that she will think I spent all day shopping for. Wait, she can’t be that naïve. Then again, this is the same woman that allowed my father to impregnate her. Mrs. kkk bought some extra garland and I got some cheap-ass stickers. Total cost. $21. No idea what I saved. I know many of my fellow customers saved on deodorant because they didn’t use any. And there’s something to say about visible tramp stamps when a woman is trying to control her brood. Wait, does this make me a Big Lots shopper? Fuck.
Next stop was the mall and by this time I was beginning to crash, which usually happens to me at the 10-11 a.m. mark. I was in no mood to browse the department stores, which was a shame because I actually wanted to this year. However, we still had to go to Monroeville for some specific gifts. We went to Suncoast for some hard-to-get movie of the nephew-in-law, along with a few other titles that were on “sale.” Total cost. $28. Total “savings:” $13. I really don’t like Suncoast but they’re not bad for older movies if you don’t feel like ordering it online. Actually, while going through their TV on DVD bin, I had to laugh when I saw this “Married With Children” box. Among the SPEICAL FEATURES included “10 hidden easter eggs.” Uh, if you promote these things on your cover, aren’t they no longer “hidden”? I won’t go into detail about my opinion regarding easter eggs here, but at least now you know what makes me chuckle after 7+ hours worth of shopping.
After perusing the Westmoreland Mall, we headed to Toys R Us for some gifts that I can’t remember. All I know is that the final bill was $43 for a Cabbage Patch Doll and video game. Oh well, at least the video game was $20 off. Many, Toys R Us is another store I can’t imagine starting out at when it’s 6 a.m. Oh, speaking of Toys R Us, here’s a funny story I just remembered from the mall. We went into Kay B because the better half wanted something for this crumb snatcher that one of her friends squirted out a few years back. I had no desire to browse at this place because lots of customers and tight aisles don’t make a good combination. I told her that I’d start waiting in line while she looked for her toy. Much to Kay B’s credit, the line moved rather fast, and I was actually letting people go past me because Mrs. kkk was nowhere in sight. (A few customers actually complimented me on this idea of having one person wait in line while another person looks and said they’ll probably employ this strategy elsewhere.) Well, the better half finally stormed over and said we were leaving. OK then. As we were walking out was bitching about how none of the employees there knew where anything was and she gave up on looking for this thing. I defended the employees by saying this was probably the wrong time to start asking specific questions about item placement and the like. Sorry, but unless the item in question is a front-page “door buster” item you won’t get much help. Sorry, that’s the way it is. Hey, this is Black Friday and we’re dealing with customer service. This isn’t FEMA after a hurricane. OMGBUSHLIEDBLACKPEOPLEDIEDANDGOTEATENINTHESUPERDOME~!
Where was I? Oh, yeah. We then went to Best Buy and I was pleasantly surprised that this place had died down. I was expecting this store to be a madhouse because this store usually has the long customer lines well into the day. And to make matters better, there were a number of uber-priced DVDs still available. In widescreen. We got a few things for some nieces and nephews, along with a few things for ourselves. Total price: $111. Total savings: $30.
After a return stop to Wal-Mart to get some gift cards that I forgot to pick up the first time ($75), it was off to Monroeville. The first stop was to a specialty craft store to pick up some model car for my one nephew-in-law who I hope to work for in some high-paying/remedial position in his company once he graduates college 10-15 years from now. Christ, this kid is smarter than me and he’s in middle school. Then again, that’s not saying much. Anyway, we spent $17 dollars there and also $31 dollars at a craft store to get the stuff that Mrs. kkk wasn’t able to get at Kay B. Hey, we saved $30 on some easel thingy, so yay. While we were in the neighborhood, we stopped by this town’s local mall and didn’t get anything. Wait, I lied. We did get something. There was a kiosk peddling these tickets for some hippie Shittsburgh cultural shows. Basically the deal was $95 for a pair of tickets in the best section of the auditorium with the gift recipient able to select from one of five different shows this upcoming summer. Not sure what the savings, if any, are for this, but it was a great gift idea and now we don’t have to worry about Mrs. kkk’s boss. Plus the better half will be splitting the price with her other co-worker, so this would only be $50 for us.
Final numbers. Approximate Black Friday purchases: $750. Approximate savings: $570. Not bad, especially considering the number of non-holiday/gift-card/non-discounted purchases made. And I still have a month to fish out other deals.
11 p.m.
• So today I had the day off work (actually, I won’t be going in until Thursday) and had two job interviews lined up. Oddly enough, I think each one went well for me, with the second interview human resources person asking me back for a second round with some bigwigs. Could this be the light at the end of the tunnel? I dunno. Even though both jobs aren’t quite what I went to college for, each position is similar enough to what I’ve been doing the last 7-8 years. Not sure what’ll happen in the next week or two, but I might be saying “see ya” to my current place of employment in the not-too-distant future. Now that would be a great Christmas gift.
• The better half finally got me to watch “Knocked up.” Eh, it was there. Much like “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” the movie was better than I thought it would be, but it seemed way too long. And fuck that blonde-haired bitch for getting pissed because the guy was afraid of hitting the fetus with his dick while having sex. I’m sorry but if Mrs. kkk was ever preggers I know I’d be freaked out sticking anything near kkk Jr. (or whoever the baby’s daddy is). Yeah, I know nothing will happen to the kid, but I’m sorry: just the thought of giving your kid a money shot just gives me the heebie jeebies.
• Speaking of movies, I recently DVR’d some crap and finally got around to seeing these cinematic masterpieces. The first was “Drive Thru.” Holy fuck was this awful. But in a good way.
My favorite part came at the start when these wiggers were going to bust a cap in ol’ Horny’s backside, and when the Clown was about to wack the white kid with a shirt that reads “Illest” he says something like “My dad will give you anything – he’s rich.” Oh, and Morgan Spurlock is a fast-food restaurant manager. Do I need to go on? And there’s a LOT of liberal hippie crap, too. Because I know when I’m watching a Horny the Clown movie, I want to get the director’s opinion of our president. Actually, I find it hilarious when a movie/tv show has a close-up of the bad guy or a bumbling idiot with a picture of W. in the background.
The second movie was Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain. All I really need to say about this one has been covered in an attempted “100 things we learned from watching…” threads in the IMDB boards. My favorite was 96.
8:35 p.m.
• Uh, OK.
I have nothing more to say about this. Hmm, maybe I can Google "Zoey Zane." Nope. Guess I found out about this too late. Shame, and she was a spunky little teen with a super sexy side!
• BAM~! Hey, it's no worse than how the AP started out their story of Emeril's show getting canned.
I never watched his show and never cared to. He probably got burnout or something. Hey, he'll still be doing stuff for the Food Network so all's good -- or at least it seems.
12 a.m.
• One little side from my recent interview stories. When I was in-between interviews on Monday, I had lunch, drove into downtown Shittsburgh (where the second interview was located), parked in the garage, lounged in the car for a while listening to music and then ventured out in public. I found the building that I was to enter but I still had about 45 minutes to kill. Because of this I went into a nearby public library. Jesus Christ. No wonder I try to stay away from as many "public" things as possible. How do these people live their lives the way they do. The building didn't seem that dilapidated but the people inside literally stunk up the joint.
And then I went into the men’s restroom.
Here’s all I have to say – there was a sign on the men’s room door that read, “No shaving, laundering or bathing.” And all the stalls were filled. Normally I can get in and out when going number one with a single breath, but this time I actually had to breathe in the potty room air. Gag.
9:15 p.m.
• Here’s a work story, but it doesn’t involve me~! Long story short: Mrs. kkk works in the realm of academia. ‘Nuff said. Here’s the latest reenactment of her workplace.
Boss: “OMG Does our work study person have enough work!? I don’t want her just sitting around doing nothing.”
Better Half: “The work study student (Jenna) has plenty of work to do. She’s entering in all the data we’re giving her, and she’s doing a good job. She has to still do data entry from our interviews from the last two weeks.”
Boss: “OMG I hope we’re not overworking her.”
Better Half: “WTF.”
Don’t you love this shit? And apparently Mrs. kkk’s boss asks her about this, along with several other ongoing micromanaging issues, multiple times a day. My solution was to have Jenna document everything she does and give it to the boss either at the end of a work shift or at the start of next day’s work. Of course, the boss doesn’t want to do that. I guess freaking out 20 times per day is preferable. And this woman makes six figures. The boss, not the better half.
• Uh oh.
I've worked third-shift for a number of years, including a number of shifts where I didn't get home or go off to work in the middle of the night.
6:15 p.m.
• Quick pickkks, err, pickkk.
Green Bay @ Dallas (7.5). Normally I'd go with Dallas but this spread is too big to pass up. Watch it be a blowout.
11:45 p.m.
I appreciate the effort, but next time can you wait until the Big Cheese stops by first?
Then again, maybe this guy is another left-wing spy.
I remember a while back reading something on the Media Research Center's website about some people quoted in the LEFTWINGMAINSTREAMLIBERALPRESS as regular citizens but were actually Democrat activists. If I ever feel motivated, I might see if I can find these stories.
10 p.m.
• Time for the rest of this week's pickkks.
Atlanta @ St. Louis (4.5)
Yay. St. Louis is on a hot streak of sorts, which of course now means they'll blow one. Whatever. I'm still a sucker.
Buffalo @ Washington (5.5)
Hmm, will this be one of those "win for the dead guy" games? Sure. I'm still a sucker. Oh, and count me in as someone who doesn't think Sean Taylor's death was was a random act of violence.
Detroit @ Minnesota (3.5)
Ha. I laugh when I think back to when some people took the Lions as playoff contenders. Now they're underdogs at Minnesota. Ha. I'm taking them. Why?
Houston @ Tennessee (4.5)
Hmm, Young hasn't been playing good as of late. I'll guess that the Titans are one of those "falter during the final stretch teams" for this season.
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis (6.5)
I'm hoping the Colts still have some rust from the last few weeks. Hey, even Atlanta was up on them by double digits at one point on Thanksgiving.
N.Y. Jets @ Miami (1.5)
An unbeaten team FAVORED? This is great. If Miami loses this week, I shudder as to who this team can beat.
(5.5) San Diego @ Kansas City
Here's hoping the Chiefs don't decide to make it close.
Seattle @ Philadelphia (3.5)
I'm wondering if the Eagles loss to the Pats was a kick-start for this team. Well, here's hoping.
San Francisco @ Carolina (2.5)
Will the Panthers ever win at home? Here's hoping "no" for one more week.
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (3.5)
Fuck the Saints. Lose and go away from the NFC playoff picture.
Cleveland @ Arizona (1.5)
This might have the potential to be a hella good game on the offensive side of things. Who would have thought that at the start of the season?
(3.5) Denver @ Oakland
It's the Raiders. For some reason they seem like they should be better than their three-win record. Maybe it's because they played in some close games. OK, time to see if I know what I'm talking about or pulling this out of my rear end.
Week 1: 21-36
Week 2: 20-23
Week 3: 26-24
Week 4: 35-17
Week 5: BYE
Week 6: 14-28
Week 7: 10-12
Week 8: 9-13
Week 9: 17-24 Eh, the Raiders scored a touchdown with 1:30 left. I'm not counting this one as a "close loss."
Week 10: 6-17
Week 11: 22-29
Week 12: 20-17
So seven of the dozen contests were either wins or games that were close in score. I'm taking this one.
Week 13:
(1.5) N.Y. Giants @ Chicago
Come on G-men, collapse.
Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh (7.5)
Neither team beats the other at home. Steelers are also without some key players. Also, I just heard fullback Dan Krieder is out with an ACL tear. Here's hoping he can rehab himself onto another team next year. He'll be a free agent and doesn't really fit anymore into the Steelers' plans. I liked him.
(20.5) New England @ Baltimore
Damn you New England for having a close game. Don't burn me again.
9:45 p.m.
• So last night I went to Red Robin for the first time ever. It opened up a year or so ago at the snazzy new Wal-Mart complex that replaced the dirt mall which was there. Did I say “dirt mall”? I meant “place of commerce that was just another victim to the EVIL Wal-Mart machine.” Anyway, this Robin place was one of those locations that the better half and I talked about going to one of these days but never got around to it. Until last night. Uh, it sells burgers. It has “bottomless fries,” although they Jew you on basket size so a second serving of these things is like one regular serving at any other chain eatery. I’ve heard stories about how great there burgers were, and being a burger guy I was looking forward to this saturated fat goodness. Eh, it’s a burger. No big deal. The real highlight though came with the white trash sitting in the booth across from us.
OK, people. If you are going to a restaurant for the first time, don’t be surprised if the food you order isn’t quite to your liking. I’m not saying to expect raw ground meat or burnt potato wedges. However, if the BREADING to your ONION RINGS wasn’t what you expected, don’t BITCH about it to the MANAGER and cause a scene. Jesus Christ. How about saying, “Excuse me, this is the first time I have eaten here and these onion rings aren’t what I expected. Would it be possible if you could please give me an order of fries instead?” Seeing how I hate onions, I didn’t look to see if this side dish was an extra charge or if it was a suitable substitute for the “bottomless” fries. But even if these things were an extra side dish, I’m sure these places understand the pitfalls of visiting an eatery for the first time and would have gladly removed this purchase from you bill. What I love about white trash like this is that they have all these lofty standards when they go out to eat at laymen restaurants, but I bet when they nuke their hot dogs at home that these items are either half-cooked or exploded all in the microwave. For the record, my crack-whore sister-in-law and out-of-control niece-in-law are two cretins that throw shit-fits at these places. Yeah, you shoot heroin into your veins, but you’ll have some cook in the back of Texas Roadhouse re-cook your steak three times because it was too undercooked. Guess what I, a first-time Red Robin customer, did when I got seated? I ordered something I knew I would like and kept the menu to look over while my burger was being made so I could get a better idea of what is available the next time I stop by.
Oh, and last night I also got fitted for two suit outfits at some tailor place that was having an uber-sale. Jacket, pants, shirt, tie: $199, plus $25 for tailoring adjustments. Holy fuck was this a great deal. What made me laugh was when the tailor lady was asking me what colors I preferred. I don’t know. I’m a guy. I wear black and white. You know why? You can’t go wrong with black and white. You don’t have to fret about the hue of a yellow-and-blue tie conflicting with a darkish blue sport coat. Hell, I don’t even know if this is an acceptable color combination to start out with. Know what I do? I wear a black jacket and white shirt. Well I ended up getting a gray suit and a black suit with some shirt and tie combinations that I already forgot what they looked like. I think this lady thought I was unemployed because when she asked what the occasion was for these outfits I said “job interview.” Later on when I talked with Mrs. kkk about getting a second outfit, the lady mentioned that they have a layaway plan. She also made a big deal about finding the right look for me to get this job I’m interviewing for. I had to let her know that if I don’t get this job, it sure as heck won’t be because of my wardrobe.
After the wardrobe purchase we bought some dry cat food for the kids. But this isn’t the regular Jew cat food. This is the super-special diet mix. Well, this stuff was on sale half off so we bought the last two bags of "indoor formula" that was on the shelf." The better half also bought some 100-screwdriver bit sale at Lowe’s for her dad and also for herself. This was also on sale, so all in all, especially after adding a trip to Sam's Club for essentials, it was a good night for saving.
11:59 p.m.
• Well there's something I don't see every day. After Baltimore gave up the game-winning touchdown to New England, some player threw a fit, and a ref's yellow penalty marker, into the stands. This resulted in two 15-yard fouls, allowing the Patriots to kick the ball from Baltimore's 35-yard line. Weird. Man, I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the Ravens locker room after that game. Stopping a fourth and one to seal the deal and their one coach called a time out before the snap.
9:30 p.m.
• So I haven’t been paying attention to politics as of late. Am I bracing for a Democrat takeover or disgusted with the way Republicans act? Who knows. But I just listened to the latest IOWA STRAW POLL results showing Hitlery in second and Huckabee doing better than expected. Of course, this straw poll is still two months away. Jesus Christ. I think I’m now starting to understand why only half this country votes.
• So there are some who consider Jennifer Love Hewitt fat?
This is something I don’t understand. On one hand we’re being told that girls everywhere are near-suicidal because they aren’t able to look like the beanpole models found on magazine covers. However, we are facing an obesity epidemic. So which is it? Either way, I don’t care. The big question is, where are these pictures?
I can see how some thin freaks wouldn't like this, but if this were in front of 99 percent of guys out there, they would hit it without hesitation. However, I must admit that what I find more appealing about JLH aren't her looks but rather her paycheck. Do you have any idea how much she made for her role in "The Tuxedo"?
8:30 p.m.
• So I had my second job interview at one place today. Eh, I’ll talk more about this later if I feel like it. However, while I was out, I got a call from another place I interviewed at and it looks like I might be getting an offer. I’ve never had someone call me up and say, “thanks for the interview but we hired someone else.” Now this person could be calling me to say that whatever grant I will be mooching off of didn’t come through, but I’m such a hopeless optimist that I’ll just brush this under the rug. But in even bigger news, I finally got the four-volume James Bond DVD set. On sale. On a good sale. In addition to recent “Casino Royale.” Now I have to stash these away and wait until after Christmas just in case the better half got these for me. Hey, if she did and she got them on sale then I’ll be so proud and gladly return my set without her knowing.
• Those must be some good-ass prospects.
• OK, peep this headline.
So what do you think happened? Did the cooks spit in the stew? Put detergent in this entree? How about jacking off over it? Nope.
That's it? Chirst. God only knows what would have happened to me if I worked at this place. Just for the record, the jacking off into the pizza wasn't from me, although the other two incidents are. However, even though the beat-off pizza story is from secondhand information, I believe the person involved in this story would do such a thing.
Of course, I'm trying to find this video clip but all I'm coming up with is this, and unless there's animated tentacle rape I'm not watching anything from Japan. Well, excepted for stacked beef stew.
8 p.m.
• This one writes itself.
• Don't you know that not letting hospital beds face Mecca is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
Actually, this one doesn't sound too bad -- at least when compared to the other instances Muslims have been mad. I guess the only jihad these people can wage is with their bedpans in this case. Even during my high school years, I often questioned the Bible-thumpers that wanted prayer in schools. My question always was, "Don't Muslims pray five times a day -- what would you do for them?" Looks like I'll be getting the answer to this question soon enough.
10:30 p.m.
• Big ups to Al k, who directed me to this.
Don't you know that having Pork Chop mascots is one of the worst things you can do to a Musl... err, Puerto Rican male. Wait a second. What? When the hell did that become offensive? I have a lot of rap records and don't recall that term being used. Although there was a Short Chop on Ice Cube's one album. Wait a second, I stand corrected. It's
My bad yo.
• Big ups to me, who found this.
Don't you also know that advertising ham for Hanukkah consumption is one of the worst things you can do... oh who am I kidding? All a Jew will do is sue you. I guess they could also hire a hit man to get you, but this mercenary will be the lowest bidder so I'll take my chances.
• You two wanted each other. Enjoy.
Also, if two lesbians get a divorce, does the butch of the couple have to give everything over to the other one and live out of her car?
8 a.m.
• So I had on the Thursday night football game between the Bears and Redskins. Now I’m not one of those people going OMG NFL NETWORK ISN’T ON BASIC CABLE. Look, if you want this channel, then pay a few extra dollars and get it. I don’t watch Lifetime, but there are plenty of people out there who do. Plenty of battered women whose husbands left them and their five kids to be with the office secretary. Not everyone watches sports, which is why if you want more of a certain kind of programming then spend the extra money and knock yourself out. But that’s neither here nor there. I guess I’m getting ready for all the bitching that will take place if/when the Patriots finish their (possible) undefeated regular season on the NFL Network, much like with the Cowboys/Packers game earlier this year.
The reason I brought up the Thursday night game is that maybe it’s best for the NFL Network to be seen by a limited amount of people right now. Holy fuck is Bryant Gumbel awful. I get that not everybody likes Chris Collinsworth; he’s an acquired taste. He’s not my favorite announcer, but I can live with him. Gumbel is just horrible. When I watch something that is supposed to be apolitical, I try to give otherwise political people a chance. Hey, I think Keith Olberman should be strung up for that MSNBC show, but he’s still an excellent sports guy (in my opinion). Gumbel just pisses me off. What did it for me last night was when the Redskins quarterback Jason Campbell got hurt and was taken off the field. Later in the game it was reported he suffered a dislocated kneecap. It was also said that Redskins running back Clinton Portis had told Campbell’s father that he son was going to be OK. Gumbel then snidely makes a remark about Portis and his “medical license.” Fuck you, Bryant. Maybe he was just trying to make Campbell’s dad feel better. Ever think of that you piece of shit? I guess he should have said, "Boy, Mr. Campbell, your son sure is fucked."
What the-? The one line I’m looking for isn’t there.
Bring that beat back.
Bring the beat back.
Bring the beat back.
*wickywickywicky or whatever that DJ record-scratching sound is*
Much better. But the moment has pretty much passed. I tried looking on YouTube for a video to this musical masterpiece, but I had to settle for this other classic. It's sorta relevant to this topic. Yeah, I edited out the opening. Just another case of the white man's oppression.
And W…T…F….?
From the comments section:
True dat, omarkhalid, true dat.
8:45 p.m.
• Nuts. I almost forgot about my Heisman prediction. Have no clue who did what. I’m guessing Tebow will win, but I’d vote for McFadden. I’m sure Tebow got a bunch of those touchdowns by Jew 1-yard runs. That’s all I got.
• Pickkk time.
Chicago @ Washington (3.5)
Shit.
Carolina @ Jacksonville (10.5)
The Panthers win last week was due. I just hope Jacksonville doesn’t play down to their competition.
(10.5) Dallas @ Detroit
The Lion free-fall continues.
Miami @ Buffalo (7.5)
Why in the hell do I bother with this? Oh yeah, because this week will be the WEEK.
N.Y. Giants @ Philadelphia (2.5)
I still think the Giants will flounder and all, but why not pick them?
Oakland @ Green Bay (10.5)
Here’s hoping Charles Woodson returns an interception for a touchdown so I look smart. Here’s hoping Charles Woodson is actually playing this game.
Pittsburgh @ New England (11.5)
Let’s see. Who did the Steelers lose to on the road this year: Cardinals, Broncos, Jets. Couple that with the guy who ran his mouth this week about guaranteeing a win and I’ll take the Pats. Steelers will score 17.
(1.5) San Diego @ Tennessee
Tennessee finished strong last year. They’ll stumble this year. I have no proof to back this up.
St. Louis @ Cincinnati (6.5)
I think somebody important is hurt for the Rams. Or was it the Bengals? Uh oh.
(3.5) Tampa Bay @ Houston
Somebody’s got to win the NFC South.
Arizona @ Seattle (7.5)
Sure. I’ll take the Cardinals. No idea why because they’ll probably fall like a house of cards.
(8.5) Minnesota @ San Francisco
Time for the Vikings to make a playoff run where they will lose in the first round.
(3.5) Cleveland @ N.Y. Jets
Ew. Only 3.5 points? Somebody’s hurt.
Kansas City @ Denver (6.5)
Somebody’s got to win this game: But 6.5?
(9.5) Indianapolis @ Baltimore
Will the Ravens be drained from their game with the Pats? I sure hope so.
(4.5)New Orleans @ Atlanta
You know, for as bad as the Falcons have been this year, from the predictions I heard before the season began they don’t seem to be that terrible. Then again, the Dolphins are 0-16. So remember, if you finish first in the Special Olympics, you still finished first in the Special Olympics.
11:59 p.m.
• So here I am again in the office pulling a 12+ hour shift to get shit done that nobody else cares about getting to our customers. (Well, I'm home now, but I just got back from work so this counts.) Actually, this one is a funny story because my idiot big boss (not the usual “idiot boss” I talk about) just got caught in a lie by one of our directors. Of course, it doesn’t really matter because nothing will be done, but it’s funny nevertheless. Here’s a brief rundown.
I’m to publish information for the next several months about something from an outside source within our organization. Boss wants to be the COMMUNICATIONS LIASION, meaning NOTHING goes to me until he APPROVES it. Fair enough. I get no information. I mention my lack of material to the boss on the day of my deadline to collect material for publication. He says he hasn’t received anything from said director, who is the “Communications Liaison” for the other side of this project (all information from her side is supposed to be filtered through her and given to my boss). I smell bullshit because this director TOLD me she sent my boss material. I give this director a call and she’d furious because she says she gave material to my boss WEEKS ago. She wants to talk to my boss. No problem.
This is when it gets good.
My boss tells the director, after she tells him that she sent him e-mails containing materials she wanted published, that there were no attachments in her e-mails with the information in question. Riiiiiiiight. When I heard this b.s. I told the director that she could go into her “sent” archive and look at the messages she sent out and see if there was an attachment included. (She’s not the most tech-savvy person out there.) Turns out the director didn’t even need to do that because during this conversation between my boss and director my boss was reading a piece of information the director wanted published and thought he was reading from an old document. Nope. He was reading from a document that she e-mailed him – you know, that attachment he said he never got.
Oops.
Long story short: Because my boss did NOTHING while COMMUNICATIONS LIASION, I get to do a shitload of work on a Saturday. Because as it turns out, the information wasn’t nearly enough to cover the reserved space I was told to set aside. Now if I would have received this information in a timely manner, this wouldn’t have been a big deal. However, when it’s post-deadline it becomes a big deal. But you know what – that’s OK. I spent 12 hours in the office when nobody else was there, and I’ll be spending that time at home on December 28 when everyone else is there. Oh, and I’ll be spending that extra chunk of time at an office Christmas party this Thursday – the office Christmas party to my new job.
[Now you could have said that I should have reminded my boss earlier about my lack of material. Fair enough. However, after four years I've learned that it's best to just keep your mouth shut until something is due because I'm dealing with people who can't do their jobs and I'm not their mommy. Believe me, I knew about this lack of content and prepared for it. Because of this, I'm still right on schedule to my bigger deadlines. Oh, yeah, I also had to manually stuff 1,000+ envelopes, which I was told by my boss TWICE that this menial task that really should be outsourced, was more important to do than the job I was hired to perform. Any more questions as to why a) I'm leaving, and b) I try to keep my distance from these people?]
It’s odd. I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I must admit this is a pretty awesome feeling. The last time I left a job to take another one in the immediate vicinity was in 1995 when I was in community college. (Well, that job I went to I ended up getting fired from, so if you want to count that one instead then my last time I jumped jobs was 1996.) Otherwise, every job I’ve had since then I left because I was moving 3-5 hours away. Man is this a great feeling. You think about “well, this will be the last time I have to deal with this shit,” or “no problem, I won’t have to bother with this again.” My only question now is when should I give my notice. Here’s my problem. I’m an hourly employee, which I prefer because then you don’t get fucked over (as much) when it comes to what you work and what you get paid for. We have pay periods that span two weeks. I have four days off during the week of December 24-28 (two holiday, one vacation, one from the hours I worked above). If I give my notice now, I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to screw me out of this money. So I have to wait until Thursday January 3 when my check gets direct deposited at 12:01 a.m. before saying “see ya.” Now I would stay two weeks after the first week of January, but there’s a catch. I would want my vacation/sick days for 2008 cashed out. In advance. I know they would never do that, so the only thing I’m pondering is this:
1) Do I come in, give my resignation, say “see ya” and leave?
or
2) Do I just put my letter on my boss’ desk and disappear with all my belongings?
I’m still undecided on this one. As much as I want to see the look of shock (or perhaps lack thereof), I think it would be equally awesome just to have me like I was never there and when they go into my office all they see is nothing. Either way, I got about two weeks to decide.
8 p.m.
• Gimmie Cincy over the 49ers.
8:45 p.m.
• So I had my gay-ass office Christmas party today. Whatever. I just showed up for the end-of-year check we all get. But more importantly this kicks off a period where I will be off work eight of the next nine days. Woo-hoo. Also, this means my new job is quickly approaching.
• What ... the ... hell. Well at least these Brits have free government health care.
10 p.m.
• So just whenever I fret about my child-rearing abilities, I come across an experience like I had yesterday. The better half and I went to her one friend’s house to deliver Christmas presents to her two kids. We got her five-year-old son an easel/art set and her two-year-old daughter a Cabbage Patch Kid. Well, when the kids opened their gifts, the daughter (Terri) went straight for her brother’s gift (I’ll call him Mike). No surprise. Who wants a doll when your sibling has this cool thing that you can scribble on? Well this of course brought a bit of the sibling rivalry, as Terri was badgering Mike by drawing on his canvass. Mike countered by yelling and the two were pushing each other around. Now Mrs. kkk’s friend’s boyfriend was getting annoyed by this. I make it a point not to criticize a person’s parenting style, but when Terri took one of Mike’s toy magnets that helped keep his coloring picture on the easel board and ran into the kitchen, which prompted Mike to give chase, the boyfriend got up from watching the televised NHL game, picked both kids up off the ground and nearly tossed both into the corner of the living room. Jesus Christ. Now I don’t live in this house, so I don’t know firsthand of the craziness that goes on 24/7, but this was harmless. Hell, Terri had a smile on her face and was giggling when running into the kitchen with Mike’s magnet. Anyway, this prompted both kids to start screaming and crying hysterically, and for what? For being kids. The boyfriend shouted out a number of obscenities, and I could tell if we weren’t there Mrs, kkk’s friend would have gotten into it with the boyfriend, who was also Terri’s father. I’ve said my fair share of negative things about kids, but I do know that kids will be kids. As long as they’re not monstrous trolls, then you should expect them to do what they do. But hey, they're not my kids. And they weren't getting beaten.
9 p.m.
• Slept in a bit this morning. Got Season 10 of South Park and a wireless remote controller from the better half. Got money and gift cards from the in-laws. With the plethora of DVDs I purchased this holiday season for myself, and with the lack of appealing after-Christmas sales that the local circular had for tomorrow, I think I'm going to hold onto these cards until some better sales come my way (New Year's/MLK/Presidents/etc.) Exciting stuff, I know. After I post this entry, I'll be on the phone to mom to let her know that she will, barring a miscarriage, become a grandmother. Oh, and also that the 20+ containers of stuff she has stored in our house needs to go in the next six months. I just knew there were some plusses to getting the Mrs. kkk preggers.
3 p.m.
• More fun at work. Peep the following e-mail exchange from earlier today
“Do you happen to have the minutes from Meeting X in Connecticut?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I need them.”
“You want me to bring them upstairs?”
“Yes, since you didn’t let me know you had them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“But they (the minutes) were addressed to me.”
“I know that but you know that you don’t “get” them.”
Just because they were addressed to me I should have known they were intended for someone else. Ok then.
• Now we all know some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male. But what about some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim female?
Oh, yeah. Killing them. That would suck.
10:45 p.m.
• OK, for the love of God, Bob Costas, please stop making that forced laugh on Sunday Night Football whenever Keith Olbermann makes a wisecrack during his highlights. I've said it before: Even though Keith should be strung up for treason, I think he's excellent at doing sports highlights. You don't need to have laughter in the background. Trust me. It's not necessary.
9 p.m.
• Oh hell no.
I'll tell you what. The GOP choice of candidates aren't really doing much for me, outside of Rudy. The only thing I like about Huckabee is that he's for a national sales tax. However, that's about the ONLY think I like about him. Romney is just there -- no way he'd win in a general election. Thompson: meh. I didn't bother reading the title to the following link on Drudge, but it pretty much speaks for itself:
The Jesus freaks are for Romney and Huckabee and non-Jesus freaks are for McCain and Giuliani. Add the percentages up and it looks like the Republican voters are split with 32 percent going for Romney and Huckabee and 32 percent going for Giuliani. Who's backing Thompson? People who watch "Law and Order." It's still too early to see who will break out.
But what about the Democrats? You came to the wrong place for that. I still say Hitlery is going to get the nomination because if Obama or Edwards takes a big lead nationally, they'll wind up dead.
• I just noticed I forgot to give a TB score for the Steeler game. Oops.
11:45 a.m.
• This local story has been on my nerves for a while. Basically, the county that engulfs Shittsburgh is going to tax booze to fix a funding gap in our region’s pisspoor Port Authority system.
Now here’s what pisses me off: Why the hell do restaurant owners have to suffer because the government is unable to maintain an efficient transit system. Isn’t it great that you can tax things that have nothing to do with a funding issue? Wow, that will really make the Port Authority change its ways. Why, in two years when nothing changes, the Allegheny County can tax potato chips or universal remotes!
I liked this newsbit in particular.
Dan Onorato is the county executive, and while I like a number of things he does (even for a Democrat), he’s wrong on this one. And that’s also why I live outside Allegheny County.
I often wonder why other businesses don’t itemize the true costs of their products, especially gas stations. Fine, put the final cost for a gallon of fuel on your marquee sign. However, while a person is filling up at $3 per gallon, put a chart on each of your pumps showing how much of a take your friendly federal, state and local governments have on your wallet.
9:15 a.m.
• Since just about every team is resting its starters, I'll do the same. However, by "resting my starters," I mean "give picks with no explaining."
Buffalo
(2.5) Carolina
Cincinnati
Dallas
Green Bay (3.5)
Jacksonville
New Orleans
Baltimore
Seattle
San Francisco
Indianapolis
(3.5) Minnesota
San Diego
Arizona (6.5) <---- called an audible
Kansas City
7:15 p.m.
• So while the better half and I drove home from work today, we were talking about our employment experiences when it came to quitting. While I have only resigned a job to take another job in the same region once in the last 12 years, Mrs. kkk has made a habit of employment-hopping. Then again, most of her work is in academia, so I’m sure I’d go insane as well. One job was of particular interest though.
Back when we lived in Ohio, her first job out of grad school was for some lady who had her own business. Long story short: she tested white/ghetto trash to see if they were eligible for SSI. After her first day, Mrs. kkk stormed into our townhouse and began swearing about her day due to several hillbilly kids she had to test. It didn’t get much better from there. However, the best part came about nine months later when her boss went on a three-week cruise and laid off the half-dozen people in her office. Oddly enough, this little tidbit was never told to the better half during her interview. Her boss said that everyone could collect unemployment for those three weeks while she soaked it up in the sun drinking out of those glasses with the little umbrellas in them. Problem was, Mrs. kkk hadn’t been employed full-time long enough yet to collect anything. This was around the time we decided that she should look for work back in the southwest Pennsylvania region. A few months prior, we decided to leave Ohio for Pennsylvania but we weren’t quite sure when would the best time to pack up – our lease had about six months remaining. Well, it was during this layover when we figured that Mrs. kkk move back in with her parents, look for a full-time job in her field and I would stay in Ohio working until the lease ended. Well, three weeks later, the better half was returning back to her job – only to give her two-week notice to her boss.
Oh, here’s a bonus nugget as to the kind of person this boss was: One time Mrs. kkk stayed home ill at the insistence of said boss. However, when her next paycheck arrived, it was discovered she was docked that day’s pay. When she asked why, the boss said that she took the day off and didn’t work her full eight hours. Shortly thereafter, when the better half worked late for a several-day stretch, the boss gave her hell for leaving early. The reason? She was a salaried employee and she doesn’t “work late.” A salaried employee that gets laid off during vacation time.
3 p.m.
• So I went to bed last night and woke up at 1 a.m. due to swallowing some snore spit down the wrong pipe and woke up gagging. Now this has happened a few times in the last few years, but this time it forced me to get up and head over to the bathroom. As I stood there lurched over the sink I realized it was time to hurl. God damnit. From the sink to the toilet. OK, hurry up, let’s get this over with. Christ I hate it when you’re anticipating the chuck. Just get it over with already. Here we go… BLEEEEEEECH. I should say BLEEEEEEECH 20 more times to give you the real-time account of how my night went, but that would be unfunny overkill…
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BLEEEEEEECH
BL...
BLE...
BLEEEEEEECH
And the weird thing about this experience? I looked at what I barfed and couldn’t recognize anything. Weird. Of course, this woke up the better half and she asked if I was going into work in the morning. “Yes,” I said. “Why?” she asked. “Well because I threw up.” Seriously, put aside the aftertaste, you can feel pretty damn good after this ordeal.
8 p.m.
• Speaking of Blech, from what I've been hearing, it sounds like Obama will win the NH primary over Hitlery. Whatever. I'm more pissed with the candidates on my side at this moment. THIS is what I have to pick from?
I was recently talking to someone on AIM and realized that Obama is like the liberal’s version of W., but for an entirely different reason. Peep this:
Obama: articulate. Commies think he’s great. My peeps think he’s full of shit.
W: stumbles through words. Commies think he’s a dunce. My peeps think he’s just like us.
Oh well, at least Hitlery can’t bitch about the “glass ceiling” or people “afraid to elect a minority/woman.” Too bad the person leading her in the polls isn’t some old white guy. I heard Obama got some extra security. With a lead on the Clintons, I don’t blame him.
9 p.m.
• Looks like roids B-12 shots isn't the only thing that McNamee guy is injecting into people.
This story doesn't really affect my opinion of the roids case one way or another, but here's the rest of the story.
•
Now I think I'm really going to be sick.
9:15 p.m.
• Woo-hoo, I'm sticking it to the European nations by getting Mrs. kkk preggers.
But how many of these births are from Mexicans?
Wow. I thought that number would be more.
Huh -- Poor education? And LOL regarding the poverty and abortion reasons.
9:30 p.m.
• A nearby town made the big-time. In a bad way.
This is one media story I believe. Aliquippa is a shit hole.
• As if gas prices weren't high enough.
You know, when don't we have a "looming crisis"? Well, there's one good thing to all this. If the federal gas tax would happen, the media and Democrats would lay off talking about high gas prices. After all, these increase are for the greater good. And I'm sure all this extra money wouldn't be wasted. No siree.
