11:30 p.m.
• Huh? I entered this in on Saturday and it's reading this as having been posted on a Sunday. Oh well, must be a time-zone/setting thing.
• No offense, but I’d rather have my cops adopt the “warrior culture” than the "Frenchie culture." And by "Frenchie culture," I'm talking about officers running away – not smelling bad.
• I get that this Bode Miller guy isn’t liked by some, but is he really that big a public figure that his name needs dropped when a relative of his kills an officer of the law? Oh, and thank God that piece of shit cousin of his is dead.
• Oh great, now with reporters getting their beats outsourced, I can expect some hysteria in the near future about the horrible economy.
Back in the ‘90s when we had the GREATEST ECONOMY OF ALL TIME BILL CLINTON, I always felt this “boom” was a bit overblown, mostly in part because the media was close to this tech bubble thing. I’m not saying this was a LIBERAL BIAS~! thing; just a “Bob from sports has just quit his job to be a writer for this local Internet start-up. Boy, this economy must be great" thing. Then when the tech bubble burst, and these writing/PR/marketing jobs were the first to be axed, I felt the great recession of the early ‘00s was a bit exaggerated as well. My proof for all of this? Nothing. Just remembering what I read during this time.
• For those that actually care about the groundhog living under my backyard shed, he popped out today to munch on some grass.
He seems to get fatter each year; one day I think he won’t be able to fit back into his crib. Hey, he’s not bothering anyone so I let him live his life. Besides, it’s fun to knock on the back door and watch him bolt back under the shed.
And speaking of lazy animals, here’s JJ today earning his keep.
8 p.m.
• So I heard one of Mrs. kkk’s friends is having marital problems. Well, the problem (at least for the friend) is that she’s not married yet to the father of one of her two kids. Well, this guy isn’t the most responsible person in the world, and the better half’s friend does all of the cooking, cleaning, etc. This and work a full-time job and take care of the kids. Well, it’s the one crumb-snatcher’s birthday in a few days and Mrs. kkk’s friend went with her dad to get a sandbox from Toys R Us. When she asked her baby’s daddy to watch the kids for an hour or so while the sandbox was getting purchased/transported/etc., this guy say the quote of the week.
“What do I look like – a babysitter?”
Today’s going to be great fun. The better half’s friend who just squirted out her second kid is going to get it baptized today, and I have to go to the ceremony because Mrs. kkk is the kid’s godmother. I don’t get the whole “god” parents thing – to me it just sounds like an excuse to ask someone to pay for stuff for your newly born crumb snatcher. First the better half had to get this kid a christening gown for the big day, and on the drive home from work yesterday she said that she had to stop by the bank to get a “crisp $50 bill.” Here’s how it went down:
Her: “I need to go to the bank tomorrow morning and get a new, crisp $50 bill for the baptism.”
Me: “Why? Didn’t you buy that dress thing?”
Her: “Yes, but I have to get this, too. Actually, I think you should since I bought the dress.”
Me: “I’m not the kid’s godmother.”
Her: “Well she’s paying for your meal after the baptism.”
Me: “My ‘meal’ is going to be at a buffet, and since when did this kid get a job to pay for dinner? Besides, didn’t you tell me the kid’s rich grandparents (on the father’s side) are paying for this whole thing?”
Her: “I hate you.”
I loathe this whole gift-giving exchange thing. Oh we have to get a gift for these people because they’re getting something for us. Why just not exchange gifts in the first place and call it even? That way there’s no bitching about, “Well the gift I got Suzy was more expensive than what she got me.” And seriously, what’s the point? At my wedding we got $50 from this couple that were getting married several months after us. At their wedding what did we give them? Yep. $50. Personally, I think gifts should be given to people because you want to, not because you have to. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy giving gifts to people, but not because society deems it necessary to do so for every stupid occasion.
Here’s another story: Years ago I bought this game for the PS2 called “Looney Toones: Space Race.” Cute little game. Anyway, whenever my one niece and nephew in-law stop over, that’s one of the first games they like to play. At around May-June of last year I was at the local used CD store and found this game for sale in really good condition. I asked the better half should we get this for them because this game was now out of print. She said “no” because they only play that game at our house. A few months later it was time to get into Christmas shopping gear, and guess what was requested by these two kids? You guessed it. When their mother called the better half to give us an idea for gifts for her two kids, she asked the better half, “Is there any way you get that Looney Toones game you have at your house? That’s all they talk about when they are playing on their Playstation.”
Of course, the problem was that this game was no longer being made, and when I looked on Amazon, I didn’t find any available. A day or so later we went out to the local mall, and surrounding shopping centers, and there was no Space Race to be found. We then stopped in a used CD store (not the one mentioned above) and there we found a copy. Problem was there wasn’t an instruction manual, which turned off the better half. I eventually wore her down and convinced her to get the game, considering we had zero luck finding it elsewhere, and it was worth it to know that we found this game early on in the shopping season.
Well, when Christmas arrived, she was still bitching about the game because of no instruction manual and that since the game was “used” we didn’t spend the exact same amount of money on this niece and nephew than we did on Mrs. kkk’s other nieces. I kept telling her that it didn’t matter because this is what the kids wanted. (Then again, I went out on Black Friday to get her other nieces some gifts, and I asked the better half if she was calculating how much she “spent” on someone with a gift’s retail or sale price? That line of questioning didn’t go over too well.) When we arrived at the brother/sister in-law’s place (it’s a Christmas tradition), and after all the gifts were opened, guess which toy the niece and nephew played with first with the other kids who were also there? Yep. Did they even notice (or care) that there was no instruction manual included with the game? Nope. Was that the only Christmas toy/game they got to chose from? Not even close. Oh, that was quite a fun drive home. Not only did I get to say, “So what was that first game they played with?” 50+ times in a 10-15 drive back home, but I also saved $10+ for buying the game used. (Sorry, I couldn’t pass that one up.)
Oh, and for the record, we are each going in on half for the $50 baptism gift.
Yeah, I know. More election shit. Too bad.
• Maybe Fast Eddie’s re-election as Pennsylvania's governor might be a good thing. Well, it won't be a good thing for my paycheck, but I'm talking about in terms of entertainment value. You see, should a Democrat win the presidency in 2008, there’s a good chance Fast Eddie would join that administration. For all the grief I give this asshole, I have to admit he seems to be a popular guy in Philadelphia, the city in which he used to be mayor. With him possibly heading off for greener pastures, that means our second in command would take over. And who is this person? It’s Lieutenant Governor Catherine Baker Knoll.
God help us all.
Who is Catherine Baker Knoll? She is some crazy old bitch who gained fame last year for appearing uninvited at the funeral of a marine killed in Iraq and offered her condolences by telling the marine’s family that "our government" is against the war. Needless to say, her behavior pissed off the soldier's family, and the fallout provided for some great RIGHT-WING RADIO for the next few weeks. Oh please let her run this state for a few years. Please please please please please.
• While Lynn Swann got creamed in my state's governor race, he won a majority of votes in my county. Rock on. And what was the reason for Fast Eddie not getting 50+ percent in Westmoreland County? According to Westmoreland County Commissioner Tom Balya, it's the RIGHT-WING MEDIA. From Richard Scaife's Tribune-Review
Oh give me a fucking break. First off, if we're going to whine about media bias, I could point to quite a few politicians on my side that have over the years felt the wrath of southwestern Pennsylvania's liberal fishwrap -- the Shittsburgh Post-Gazette. And besides, if this county is full of Democrats, why would they read a conservative newspaper when a commie one is available for purchase? Also, why then did Junior defeat Santorum by the same margin Swann defeated Rendell when the Trib heavily endorsed Rick over Junior and refused to endorse either gubernatorial candidates? Oh, and the Trib also endorsed John Murtha, for those keeping score at home.
• I find it odd that after it was announced Democrats were going to take Congress, I didn’t hear a peep about faulty voting machines and police dogs chasing away blacks from urban polling places. Wow, it’s nice to know all the voting irregularities that occurred during the past six years were magically resolved. I wonder if a Republican wins the White House or if the GOP re-takes Congress in ’08 if these machines will be on the fritz once again?
• Oops, I spoke too soon.
When I first heard the words “recount,” “voting machines malfunctions” and “Katherine Harris,” I thought that there must have been a shitload of busted devices to put her back in contention for her failed Senate bid.
• Great. As if losing Republicans in Congress wasn’t bad enough, the ones who managed to hang on are getting leukemia.
• Hmm, I’m starting to run out of stuff to say about Tuesday’s events. Oh, there was Rumsfeld’s resignation. Last night I heard some commentary about it on the cable news networks and the left-leaning folks seemed to be “shocked” that it was just a week ago Bush was saying what a great job his Secretary of Defense was doing. Well no shit. What was he going to say in the days leading up to an election? It’s just like when pundits who know their candidate or Party has no chance at victory but still goes on and on and on and on and on about how great their chances of victory are in the upcoming election.
• Finally, can we not talk about the 2008 elections until at least after this year’s crop of new politicians set up shop in D.C.? Pretty pretty pretty pretty please with sugar, sprinkles, Oreo cookie crumbles, and whipped cream on top? Sonofabitch.
If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, chances are you know my opinion toward Division I-A College Football and the whole BcS system. From my 10/16 entry:
But even though I don’t care for college football, I do care about my fellow TSM brethren. When Bored needed an extra participant for this year’s college football pick ‘em contest, I was more than happy to oblige. I mean, it’s only a minute or so out of my busy week to PM him each week’s picks. Well a funny thing happened; I managed to scrap and claw my way to the Meow Mix Pussy Bowl up against my hated rival Kotz. Well, maybe not “hated rival,” but I know he won’t be inviting me over for dinner anytime soon. I figured because I post all my NFL selections, why not include this year’s bowl games?
Please note that I have spent zero time actually thinking about these selections, which is how I approached my selections for Bored’s contest. Now if USC is playing California Christian Academy Tech in Week 1, then I’m going with the Trojans. But for just about anything else, I’m completely in the dark, which in many cases would probably be the best way to pick games. I have no idea which teams have already won, nor do I really care. I’ll probably do a recap after the BcS game to see how good (or bad) I did. Oh, and Papajohns.com Bowl? Insight Bowl? Meineke Car Care Bowl? International Bowl with Cincinnati vs. Western Michigan on January 6? The hell?
December 19th
Poinsettia: TCU vs. Northern Illinois
December 21st
Las Vegas: BYU vs. Oregon
December 22nd
New Orleans: Troy vs. Rice
December 23rd
Papajohns.com: South Florida vs. East Carolina
New Mexico: New Mexico vs. San Jose State
Armed Forces: Tulsa vs. Utah
December 24th
Hawaii: Arizona State vs. Hawaii
December 26th
Motor City: Middle Tennessee vs. Central Michigan
December 27th
Emerald: Florida State vs. UCLA
December 28th
Independence: Oklahoma State vs. Alabama
Holiday: California vs. Texas A&M
Texas: Rutgers vs. Kansas State
December 29th
Music City: Clemson vs. Kentucky
Sun: Oregon State vs. Missouri
Liberty: Houston vs. South Carolina
Insight: Texas Tech vs. Minnesota
Champs Sports: Purdue vs. Maryland
December 30th
Meineke Car Care: Navy vs. Boston College
Alamo: Texas vs. Iowa
Chick-fil-A: Georgia vs. Virginia Tech
December 31st
MPC Computers: Miami vs. Nevada
January 1st
Outback: Tennessee vs. Penn State
Cotton: Auburn vs. Nebraska
Gator: West Virginia vs. Georgia Tech
Capital One: Arkansas vs. Wisconsin
Rose: USC vs. Michigan
Fiesta: Boise State vs. Oklahoma
January 2nd
Orange: Louisville vs. Wake Forest
January 3rd
Sugar: Notre Dame vs. LSU
January 6th
International: Cincinnati vs. Western Michigan
January 7th
GMAC: Ohio vs. Southern Miss
January 8th
BCS Championship: Florida vs. Ohio State
7 p.m.
• I have been staying away from cable news shows, even the ones that make us LOL in 2007. However, last night I figured what the heck and turned on Hannity/Colmes because I wasn’t I the mood to watch basketball. The topic being batted around dealt with the whole “clean black” remark by Senator Joe Biden. Oh Christ. They had two chick pollsters/consultants/whatever: one for the Dems, one for the Reps. The Republican chick began bitching about how NOBODY’S talking about Biden and instead saying John McCain is too old to become president. The fuck? Then the other chick began talking about her Party has a black, a Mexican and a chick gunning for the Democrat nomination and how this WAS THE MOST DIVERSE PRESIDENTIAL FIELD EVER!!!!
I went back to watching basketball.
10:15 a.m.
• OMG THE CULTURE OF CORRUPTION ISN'T LOOKING OUT FOR OUR CHILDREN! found it interesting in which paragraph the Associated Press decided to reveal the accused's political party affiliation. Here's a hint on where to look: there's a reason I had to copy and paste the entire article.
9:30 a.m.
• First Democrats wanted to bring back the military draft. Now one from Ohio wants to draft poll workers for elections.
So "occasionally working the polls would be a mandatory part of a registered voter's life." Yeah, that'll encourage people to register to vote. Then again, more Democrats would probably object to doing this -- this idea might not be so bad after all, but I digress. Here's the best part.
So you are going to force people who don't want to work at a polling station to do all this complex shit? Yeah, there will be no mistakes made. No voters disenfranchised.
Honestly, I don't know what's dumber: drafting poll workers or having a Poll Worker Appreciation Day. We already have a Poll Worker Appreciation Day every month when Social Security checks get mailed out.
8:45 a.m.
• I just heard on an Atlanta-based RIGHT-WING RADIO station that the Atlanta Hawks just had their first winning month in nearly three years. Damn.
8:30 p.m.
• Due to popular demand (Read: one person) asking for additional pics of the kids, here we go:
This one features JJ guarding the computer desk. Featured in this photo are a Godzilla cup holder from Taco Bell back in the 1990s when they tried to give Godzilla a make-over. Being how I am Godzilla > King Kong, I actually looked forward to the movie at the time until I actually watched it at the theater. Even though I didn't like what they did with my favorite lizard, I'm not going to badmouth it as much as some other people do. They tried something different. It flopped. I moved on. Also featured is some pre-paid cell phone that I haven't re-added minutes to in several years and has been disconnected. Why I got this as a birthday gift is beyond me. I don't get any calls on the land-line; why in the hell would I want to remember another phone number? Sorry, but I'm not paying $20 every three months for minutes just so I can call Mrs. kkk at the store to let her know her garlic-flavored pita shells are out of stock and to find out what other flavor she wants instead. Bitch, you'll get the plain flavor and like it.
Oh, and the sheets of paper above JJ on the shelf? Those are the score sheets I used for kkk Bowl IV. He's also plopped on a Madden '93 instruction manual for the Sega Genesis.
5:45 p.m.
• So I was watching Around the Horn today and the "Out of Bounds" segment featured a "serious" discussion on Imus' comments about the Rutgers women's basketball team. It was "serious" because no points were distributed. You know it's serious when that happens. So I waited with baited breath for Pardon the Interruption because I was sure there would be a segment talking about the same thing. I was right. Wilbon didn't disappoint with his "he's a bigot" talk (and I actually don't blame him on this one), but Kornhiser was a riot by defending him and saying that he used to appear on that radio show and how Imus brings in political figures like John McCain. Good thing Imus didn't say the sports media overhyped the Rutgers team because they wanted to see a team made up mostly of black players succeed, huh Tony?
2 p.m.
• Oh man, this story made for a fun ride home from work yesterday.
Better Half: “Did you hear that story of the signs that said ‘honk once for Jesus…’”
Me: “…and twice for Satan. Yeah. What about it? Guess how many times I would have honked?”
BH: “Twice.”
Me: “Yes, because I love Jesus twice as much as you do.”
BH: *Starts bitching about something that I can’t remember.*
Me: “What’s wrong with saying that you love Satan? Jesus said to love everyone.”
BH: “But Satan’s evil.”
Me: “So? Jesus said everyone. I think I just found a loophole in this whole Christianity thing.”
BH: “I hate you.”
Me. “But yet you married me. See, Jesus was right when he said you should love everyone.”
I’m just glad she didn’t counter with something like “'love' isn’t the same as 'marriage'” because then I would have had to concede the round.
1:45 p.m.
• I didn't bother reading the article, I just laughed at the headline.
Of course the Poor will suffer most. They're poor. We needed a report to make us aware of this? You know, with the amount of money spent to create this report, that loot could have went to the Poor. So I guess that the Poor have suffered the most from reading this Climate Report. Then again, they didn't actually read it because the Poor can't afford computers and Internet service.
12:15 p.m.
• Ah, nuts. I heard this story a while after it happened, so I'm sure the Billy Fudge-Packer jokes have already been spent.
If you PC homos want to get offended at someone, get offended at the dictionary. This reminds me of the great niggardly escapade that happened a while ago.
Why don't you bitches picket outside of Big Dictionary offices and demand to have these mean words stricken from the English language? Wait a second, I didn't know about this part. Continuing the Wikipedia entry from above.
So in this game of "Who is Offended More?" we have Gays vs. Blacks: the unstoppable force vs. the immovable object, the Beast of the East vs. the Best of the West. So I guess it's safe to say that Howard didn't fag out over the niggardly fiasco. Well, he may have fagged out later that night, but that's neither here nor there. And after all he went through I at least hope he got to be that evening's starting pitcher, unless he thinks it's better to receive than give.
9 p.m.
• Movie spoilers ahead – you’ve been warned so don’t bitch.
So I was flipping through the channels today and came across the conclusion of one of the worst movies I ever spent more than five minutes watching: Mr. Magoo. Holy Christ was this one piece of shit, and the sad thing is when this appeared in the theaters it actually SOLD OUT several times during my stint as a cinema employee. Later on I caught the tail end of Sniper. It was OK for what it was – I’ve seen worse. Much worse. This prompted me to keep the television on Spike in order to watch Sniper 2, which was on afterward. Of course, the ADD in me flipped channels after they shot some guy. OK, so I lied – I was also watching the Cubs/Dodgers game and FAUX News Watchlol2007. They may have explained this at the start of Sniper 2 when Tom Berenger was leading some rednecks on a deer-hunting expedition, but I would have missed the dialogue: how did they explain Tom being able to fire a gun when his trigger finger got lopped off in the previous movie?
• Lindsay Lohan got drunk and wrecked her car, allegedly. I'm not going to link the story because I don't care. However, what I will post is the picture used in the article.
Do we have a match?
6:15 p.m.
• Well here's something I can find common ground with Ms. Ferraro on. I never saw Barack Osama as a viable presidential candidate ever ... ever...
• So this idea is stupid...
And the "jokes" are unfunny...
...but this got me the thinking. What political party would my cats belong to?
Dessa
This little bitch is a Republican through and through. She hates all other cats, throws a fit whenever one of her housemates pounces on her (but it's OK for her to chase any of them when she feels like it), and hops up my lap and gnaws at my hand should I try to pet her. But whenever there's a someone at the door she runs off and hides like any chickenhawk would (then again, out of my three she is the one most likely to kill a bird).
JJ
JJ is an interesting case. He's not very bright and oblivious to his surroundings. If he ever applied himself, he'd be a total bad-ass. However, he's content with just being dumb. I'd say he'd be one of those mindless masses that don't vote but would probably go Democrat if he decided to visit a ballot box.
Max
I'm not sure about this one. When we first got him he was very submissive and would run away from Dessa if she would give him a mean look from across the room. But then he soon discovered that she was all bark and no bite, so now he makes his life's work to stalk and jump on her just so she'd scream and make a fuss. Since he likes torturing our feline Republican, this should make him a Democrat. He's extremely lazy, too, until it's feeding time in which he'll jump around like a welfare collector waiting for the local post office to open on the first of every month. Then again, he sheds like a mo' fo', which means he's a polluter. However, he's BLACK~! Maybe he's a libertarian.
6:30 p.m.
• So later this week I'll be going to Buffalo on a business trip. It's sad when you're going to a city that people from Shittsburgh can goof on. Actually, I'm not sure about Buffalo -- I do know that people in my neck of the woods do think they're above Cleveland. And then there's Detroit.
• Speaking of Detroit.
I wonder what Mr. Loc's "regular" fee is.
• I might watch this on DVD some day. I liked "Rounders," and this has Kevin Spacey.
But what I really wanted to see in this article is how that commie "Stop-Loss" flick fared.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 91: Paul Stanley
I don't really talk to Paul all that much, but I seem to remember him going through some troubles in life, from family to job situations. If he's been laid off already for making too much money, here's hoping he finds something that pays him more and has him working less. He seems to be a hit in the Music Folder, particularly when it comes to concert reviews, but since I don't venture much around those parts, I really can't say much more about him.
• So now Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead. Bye bye. What I think is funny is that Michael Berg, the father of one of Zarqawi's beheading victims, said that not only did he "learn to forgive" Zarqawi for lopping his kid's head off, but he also said that, "I have no sense of relief, just sadness that another human being had to die." Goddamn did the wrong Berg go over to Iraq.
• Speaking of commies, it seems that the Jersey Girls caught Ann Coulter's ire, and the conservative skeletor then said some not-so-nice things about these harpies. If you don't remember, these bitches used the memories of their husbands, who died in the 9/11 attacks, to repeat some Democrat talking points in the '04 election season. Of course Ann's comments are causing outrage, with even Hitlery getting in on the action. I'm not a huge Coulter fan, but to these "Witches of East Brunswick" I say too fucking bad. If you are going to exploit your dead spouses in hopes of electing your boy Kerry as president, then get ready for some backlash. Like I've said before regarding this issue, if I had to wake up next to and listen to anyone of this group day in and day out for a prolonged period of time I probably would have jumped from the World Trade Center before 9/11/01. However, I have to take Ann to task on one premise, and that is when she said, “I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much.” When it's my turn to say "what's up" to the Reaper, just wait and see how quickly my life insurance policy gets cashed in.
• I might as well complete my insensitive trifecta by talking about a local story. Apparently, some bad heroin (as opposed to the "good" kind found in the organic section of the crack house/meth lab/wherever this shit is made) has been shipped out to the Shittsburgh area, killing some users (and even a few people from the *gasp!* suburbs). Cops have been trying to figure out where the source is coming from, and they're hoping to collect as much of the bad heroin as possible. I say why bother; let the addicts kill themselves. Hell, give me a bag and I'll deliver one (or ten) to my crack-whore sister-in-law’s place of residence, provided that she hasn’t been evicted yet. Also, wouldn't it be better to have this shit out on the street? Maybe it will scare some people out of trying this stuff out. Oh, and from what I heard the bags this deadly dope is in have labels printed on them titled "Get high or die tryin.'" At least its producer can’t be accused of false advertising.
4:15 p.m.
• Well I just had the shortest pre-screening interview of my life.
“Do you know Photoshop?”
“Yes.
“Do you know Illustrator?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know Quark?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know how much pay this job offers?”
“Yes.”
We’ll be holding interviews shortly.”
“Uh, OK.’
I knew I should have said “No” for that third question. Damnit.
• Do it, for the CHILDREN! I remember back in the mid-90s when Republicans acted like they cared about limited government, liberals threw a shitfit because a reduction in increased spending on ANY government program would hurt, even kill, “the children.” I love it when “the children” card is played.
How about we just call “outer space” any place outside of the United States?
• I thought you put your kid in private school to get away from this kind of hippie shit. At least I now know where Smitty teaches.
• Yeah, let’s wait a year and see how these two act next to each other.
10 p.m.
• So I had some of O'Reily on tonight, and one segment was devoted to these high school bitches whining about getting suspended for reading from the "Vagina Monologues" -- something about how their snatch is a sail and their underwear is empowering. I wasn't paying that much attention and I really don't care about the story itself. What I found funny though was some feminazi defending them and saying that they were "young WOMEN." Uh, yeah, and if one of them would have dumped their newborn baby in a garbage can, you would be the same cunt to go on the Factor and say that she's just a young child and didn't know what she was doing or some other line of shit like that.
6:30 p.m.
• Yeah, we really need campaign-finance reform to stop money from mixing with politics.
Wait a second, is this Shuster related to the former Republican who was one of the kings of pork-barrel spending during his time and the name behind Pennsylvania’s Bud Shuster Highway? I can’t answer that question, but when trying to via Wikipedia, I came across this gem about Bud.
• And just to show that I’m not a totally cynical asshole, I pray these two guys are true to their word.
I’m against the concept of term limits, although knowing Fast Eddie will be hit with it in 2010 softens the blow a bit. However, I’m more against politicians getting perks and pensions. Being a politician is a public service and shouldn’t be a career, unless you’re looking to move to another position. (Example: Serve in the State House for a few terms, moving on to the State Senate, then ponder a governor or Congressional run.) Staying 30+ years in one position as a politician shouldn’t be rewarded with a golden parachute.
5:30 p.m.
• Time to play "Guess that headline."
Are talking about (a) election results or (b) physical violence.
Drum roll please. (Text is linked to the full article.)
• Public Enemy fans, help a brotha out. So I’m listening to “Fear of a Black Planet” for the first time in years, and I just had on “Incident at 66.6 FM.” Is Alan Colmes the radio host?
*5 minutes later and one Google search later.*
Ha, it is.
• I’ve told my Madeline story before at TSM, but this article brought back memories of my employment at the theater, which also happened to be a member of the National Amusements family.
One afternoon I was working the afternoon cashier shift. I think it was a holiday of some sort (Memorial Day if I had to guess), and this usually means the early afternoon shows would be overrun with children. However, I was working the cashier position, so my dealing with juveniles was kept to a minimum. I could tell though that there were a lot of kids, and many of them were to see this Madeline movie. If you don’t know who Madeline is, it’s a set of books about some girl who lives at a finishing school (the movie had her as an orphan) and gets into all these wacky adventures with the other children. I’ve never heard of this character, but I guess it was popular among certain sects of kids, so who am I to judge. Anyway, I noticed that there were quite a number of children dressed up as characters from the books...
...and I even saw some camera flashes going off. Everything seemed normal enough, but when I ventured out into the lobby for my 2 p.m. break I knew something was wrong because my co-workers had a “I can’t believe what just happened” look on all of their faces. I approached one and asked what happened. Turns out our manager had accidentally played the wrong reel of film in one of our theaters.
Let me elaborate a bit. Many times at my former place of employment we would show two movies in a theater during the course of a day. Generally, if we had a movie that was geared specifically toward kids (Air Bud, Mr. Magoo, etc.) they would be played for the 1 p.m., 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. shows, while the evening times would feature a more adult-oriented film. Well, the auditorium playing Madeline was one such example. Madeline was to be shown for the afternoon times with another movie for the 7 p.m., 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. times. Turns out our manager inserted a reel for the evening film rather than the Madeline reel. And just what did an auditorium full of children watch for the first 5-10 minutes?
Yep.
According to the one usher, a man came out of the Madeline theater and said “Is someone supposed to be peeing in Madeline?” (I haven’t seen the first part of Baseketball, so I’m not sure if this is indeed what happens in the opening of this movie. Nevertheless, that's what I was told.) And, if memory serves, that showing of Madeline was a near-to-complete sell-out. Nice.
(1.5) Buffalo at Detroit. Correct.
Like I’ve said before, every team has to win at least one game per season, except for maybe the Raiders.
Carolina at Baltimore (3.5). Incorrect.
I should have known better that one little injury to a starter isn’t going to stop the Panthers. Well, unless that person injured is Steve Smith.
(6.5) Cincinnati at Tampa Bay. Incorrect.
Wow. Not only did the Bengals fail to cover, but they actually lost the game.
Houston at Dallas (13.5). Correct.
If the Cowboys just played teams from Texas, or teams that used to call the Lonestar State home, they’d be unstoppable. But then again, which team wouldn’t be?
N.Y. Giants at Atlanta (3.5). Correct.
I don’t even remember picking the Giants. While I’m on this subject, Tiki Barber recently announced that this may be his last year playing in the NFL. While I’ve heard many people on ESPN saying, “Noooooo, stay a few more years and you'll be a sure-fire Hall of Famer,” I say good for Tiki. I actually thought this would be the season where his skills plummet and his body breaks down from years of wear and tear. It looks like I’m probably wrong in guessing this was the year Barber crashes and burns, but being a running back in your early 30s usually means it’s time to see that light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sure Barber knows his own body better than any of us, and if he wants to go out on top of his game, then I say good for him. Let’s see him and someone like Jerome Bettis or Eddie George 30 years from now try to walk up a flight of steps and then decide who make the best choice regarding knowing when to leave the NFL playing field. Then again this could all be a big scam for him to get more money out of his contract. If that's the case, then fuck him. Nah, I can't hate a brotha for wanting to get paid.
(3.5) Philadelphia at New Orleans. Incorrect.
Nuts. The Eagles were prime for an upset, what with their big win against Dallas the week before. Oh well. The Saints earned this one. Goof for them.
(3.5) Seattle at St. Louis. Incorrect.
Shit. Seattle won, but didn’t cover. That’s a loss to me. Bastards.
Tennessee at Washington (10.5). Correct.
Damn, I was expecting this game to be close, but I didn’t Tennessee would win. Guess Washington is in more trouble that I originally thought.
Kansas City at Pittsburgh (6.5). Incorrect.
Ouch. This one hurt almost as much as that tackle Larry Johnson put on Troy Polamalu by throwing him down by the hair. And what was Johnson supposed to do – let Troy run in for the touchdown? If your hair is down to the point where it covers the name on the back of your jersey, then it’s fair game.
Miami at N.Y. Jets (2.5). Correct.
As every week passes, it’s more and more amazing to think that Miami was predicted to be a Super Bowl contender. Well, they could always win their last seven games. Again.
(10.5) San Diego at San Francisco. Correct.
It’s so much better being on the winning end of a lopsided game than having it be the other way.
Oakland at Denver (15.5). Incorrect.
Denver may have “lost,” but Oakland still keeps that perfect record in tact.
(11.5) Chicago at Arizona. Incorrect.
Talk about a meltdown. I turned on the television and saw the last play of the third quarter. (Or was it second-to-last? No matter.) Seeing Matt Leinart get sacked and the Chicago defense taking the fumbled ball in for a touchdown got me thinking that this game could be interesting to watch. I was right. Oakland may be the worst team out there, but the Cardinals are the most pathetic franchise in the NFL and one of the worst in all of sports. Then again, they got a new stadium and will make a buttload of cash, so who cares what the on-field product is like when you got a phat check coming in thanks to revenue sharing?
This week’s record: 6-7. Cumulative record: 40-47.
Hey, I’m only a touchdown’s worth of picks behind. The Bears made up more than that in the fourth quarter of their game Monday night, and I’m only headed into Week 7. Oh who am I kidding? This is only going to get worse.
11 p.m.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 39: Dames
The former head guy at this place, I never had a problem with Dames. In fact, the only “drama” we ever had was after kkk Bowl I when I posted a picture of Janet Jackson’s tit as a reward for Gert T’s championship run (I got a PM from him telling me it was NSFW). Did I bitch and moan about having my creative freedom squashed? Did I post several pictures of spiders, hoping to scare away this little Hitler? No. I simply took the picture down and said “Oops. I thought it was acceptable.” If memory serves, this former Big Apple resident went to Connecticut for some sales job and was doing better for himself. Hopefully, he’s doing OK. Sure during the Dames era there was a bit of craziness, but that’s part of the charm of this little corner of the Internet. And, like it or not, without Dames, we wouldn’t be here today showing fellow posters pictures that we like, bitching about the latest RAW broadcast or saying how much this place sucks.
And now a word or two from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.
From SFA Jack:
From Cancer Marney:
10:15 p.m.
• Damn Republicans. If fathers of certain governors weren't Nazi loyalists, they had five wives more than 100 years ago.
Uh, OK. So if Mitt gets elected we could have First Ladies? At least Barney Frank isn't running for the White House.
• AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Seriously, I hate these fucking things. Yeah, we took your land and brought you over on ships several hundred years ago. Our bad. You know why we did all this shit? Because we could. Humans are fucked up. What do you want me to do about it? But hey, we said we're sorry, so it's all good now.
10 p.m.
• OK, so today was my grandma’s funeral. Yesterday at the viewing, I told my old man that if he needs me to be a pallbearer then all he has to do is say so. Seeing how grandma had 20+ grandchildren, several great-grandchildren and one great-great grandchild, I could understand how it might be difficult to whittle the list down to a half-dozen. I figured that since he was handling all the arrangements, this might help him out a bit. When planning large-scale family events, you tend to overlook a number of things. By letting him know I would be ready to help in any way and all he’d have to do is just let me know. Well, last night he asked me to be a pallbearer. No problem, or so I thought.
Today, we had SEVEN pallbearers. But that’s not the best part. Right after the funeral service took place at the cemetery, he singles me out and starts bitching because I … are you ready?
You sure?
Postitive?
OK, you’ve been warned.
He started bitching because I DIDN’T WEAR A TRENCHCOAT. (Or was it overcoat? Eh, I can’t remember.) I was stunned, especially since he did this while other relatives were still around me. My response: Well since I disgraced the family I guess I’ll just go straight home (there was a wake-thingy event at a local restaurant to take place after the services). Let’s just say it’s going to be quite a while before I feel like speaking to this man again. Oh, and for the record, the other six (!?) pallbearers didn’t dress in this requested garb either. I think it’s now relevant to mention that this is the same person who, when I informed him shortly before my wedding that I didn’t receive any RSVPs from his list, said to me “well, they don’t respond to those things.” Needless to say the look on Mrs. kkk’s face when my stepmother called the day after the guest list had to be finalized and said, “Is it too late to invite anyone?” Oh, and about one-fourth of those people that were “invited late” either no-showed or gave their invitation/reservation to someone else.
And people wonder why I stay away from my family as much as possible.
2:15 p.m.
• So yesterday I stopped with my Target trip. Our two primary stores were Kohl’s and Target, and with these two gone we just decided to visit other stores just for the heck of it. There were a few more things on our list, but these items probably weren’t going to be on sale and in all likelihood still on the shelves by the time we come around to them.
As we drove from Target out toward some other stores in Greensburg, Mrs. kkk asked if we could go to Lowe’s and get some Christmas decoration for the house. Whatever. We pulled in and she went into Lowe’s while I went into that area’s Target store. I already made my purchases so this was more for recon purposes. Even with a story in my neck of the woods siphoning off customers, this place was still pretty packed. This only reinforced my theory of never going to a Wal-Mart to start off the Black Friday season. Good God I can only imagine the white trash running roughshod over there. Anyway, the reason I mention this event is because the highlight of my day came while at this store. While walking down this one aisle there were these two obese older people walking and the wife was screaming at the husband, and I just had to eavesdrop. Wait, fuck that. This wasn’t eavesdropping. I was in a public place and they were yelling. You can’t help but not hear what they were saying. I’m not sure what happened, but I guess they had planned a certain shopping strategy but the guy screwed it up. And they don’t own cell phones. The best line went something like, “I was waiting FORVER and I couldn’t reach you because you’re too damn cheap to get a cell phone!” My God was this hilarious. And I wasn’t the only one listening. As I turned my head this Asian chick walking beside me was also unsuccessfully trying to hold back her laughter. I made the remark, “Gee, I wonder why he wouldn’t her to be in contact with him 24/7 with a cell phone,” which got a legit LOL from her. After a walk around the store, I went into Lowe’s, met Mrs. kkk while she bought her thing and heard her plans for the next 10 home improvement projects she has in store for our house. Yay. Too bad I won’t be doing any of that shit. Total purchase: $21. No discount.
After that was Wal-Mart. Like I said earlier, I would NEVER go into one of these stores to start out my Black Friday shopping. I’ve seen Internet video of these mobs and I’ll pass. I’m not one who tends to get trampled but why expend all that extra energy holding your ground when it can be applied to better things? Generally, once it’s past 8 a.m. the Wal-Mart around me tends to clear out. We swooped in and bought a bunch of DVDs for us and for some family members. Total purchase: $55. Savings: $80.
After Wal-Mart we walked into a few stores that is also in this area’s shopping center but didn’t purchase anything. I did want to stop at a nearby Big Lots, of which I am not a regular customer. I now have come to the following conclusion: Wal-Mart isn’t the pinnacle of white trash consumerism, at least in my region. Holy hell was this place open up my eyes. As I walked in I noted the plethora of “warning/recall” flyers posted about products this store sells. Then the customers too poor for Wal-Mart. Yikes. And the gifts. Beer Pong. Nice. Of course, I found this cheap crap for my mother that she will think I spent all day shopping for. Wait, she can’t be that naïve. Then again, this is the same woman that allowed my father to impregnate her. Mrs. kkk bought some extra garland and I got some cheap-ass stickers. Total cost. $21. No idea what I saved. I know many of my fellow customers saved on deodorant because they didn’t use any. And there’s something to say about visible tramp stamps when a woman is trying to control her brood. Wait, does this make me a Big Lots shopper? Fuck.
Next stop was the mall and by this time I was beginning to crash, which usually happens to me at the 10-11 a.m. mark. I was in no mood to browse the department stores, which was a shame because I actually wanted to this year. However, we still had to go to Monroeville for some specific gifts. We went to Suncoast for some hard-to-get movie of the nephew-in-law, along with a few other titles that were on “sale.” Total cost. $28. Total “savings:” $13. I really don’t like Suncoast but they’re not bad for older movies if you don’t feel like ordering it online. Actually, while going through their TV on DVD bin, I had to laugh when I saw this “Married With Children” box. Among the SPEICAL FEATURES included “10 hidden easter eggs.” Uh, if you promote these things on your cover, aren’t they no longer “hidden”? I won’t go into detail about my opinion regarding easter eggs here, but at least now you know what makes me chuckle after 7+ hours worth of shopping.
After perusing the Westmoreland Mall, we headed to Toys R Us for some gifts that I can’t remember. All I know is that the final bill was $43 for a Cabbage Patch Doll and video game. Oh well, at least the video game was $20 off. Many, Toys R Us is another store I can’t imagine starting out at when it’s 6 a.m. Oh, speaking of Toys R Us, here’s a funny story I just remembered from the mall. We went into Kay B because the better half wanted something for this crumb snatcher that one of her friends squirted out a few years back. I had no desire to browse at this place because lots of customers and tight aisles don’t make a good combination. I told her that I’d start waiting in line while she looked for her toy. Much to Kay B’s credit, the line moved rather fast, and I was actually letting people go past me because Mrs. kkk was nowhere in sight. (A few customers actually complimented me on this idea of having one person wait in line while another person looks and said they’ll probably employ this strategy elsewhere.) Well, the better half finally stormed over and said we were leaving. OK then. As we were walking out was bitching about how none of the employees there knew where anything was and she gave up on looking for this thing. I defended the employees by saying this was probably the wrong time to start asking specific questions about item placement and the like. Sorry, but unless the item in question is a front-page “door buster” item you won’t get much help. Sorry, that’s the way it is. Hey, this is Black Friday and we’re dealing with customer service. This isn’t FEMA after a hurricane. OMGBUSHLIEDBLACKPEOPLEDIEDANDGOTEATENINTHESUPERDOME~!
Where was I? Oh, yeah. We then went to Best Buy and I was pleasantly surprised that this place had died down. I was expecting this store to be a madhouse because this store usually has the long customer lines well into the day. And to make matters better, there were a number of uber-priced DVDs still available. In widescreen. We got a few things for some nieces and nephews, along with a few things for ourselves. Total price: $111. Total savings: $30.
After a return stop to Wal-Mart to get some gift cards that I forgot to pick up the first time ($75), it was off to Monroeville. The first stop was to a specialty craft store to pick up some model car for my one nephew-in-law who I hope to work for in some high-paying/remedial position in his company once he graduates college 10-15 years from now. Christ, this kid is smarter than me and he’s in middle school. Then again, that’s not saying much. Anyway, we spent $17 dollars there and also $31 dollars at a craft store to get the stuff that Mrs. kkk wasn’t able to get at Kay B. Hey, we saved $30 on some easel thingy, so yay. While we were in the neighborhood, we stopped by this town’s local mall and didn’t get anything. Wait, I lied. We did get something. There was a kiosk peddling these tickets for some hippie Shittsburgh cultural shows. Basically the deal was $95 for a pair of tickets in the best section of the auditorium with the gift recipient able to select from one of five different shows this upcoming summer. Not sure what the savings, if any, are for this, but it was a great gift idea and now we don’t have to worry about Mrs. kkk’s boss. Plus the better half will be splitting the price with her other co-worker, so this would only be $50 for us.
Final numbers. Approximate Black Friday purchases: $750. Approximate savings: $570. Not bad, especially considering the number of non-holiday/gift-card/non-discounted purchases made. And I still have a month to fish out other deals.
• So George W. Hitler now wants terrorists to have a free pass into the U.S. via ports. Nice. It’s funny to hear people like Hitlery and Schmuck Jewmer sound like they are all about national security. Actually, I’m in a bit of a bind. Do I side with Hitlery or do I side with Jimmy Carter, who supports the President on this one? God help me.
About the United Arab Emirates: I don’t know much about them. I remember some soccer tournament (I think it was the World Cup) and saw their team running around in those cute little turbans. I’m sure they hate us, but only two of the 9/11 hijackers were from this place, so I guess that’s not too bad on the Let’s-Kill-The-Infidels-For-Allah scale.
Oh, and W., you haven’t vetoed a goddamn thing in your term-and-a-half and you threaten to whip out the ol’ Veto Pen over this? Didn’t do it with so-called campaign-finance reform. Didn’t do it with that Medicare Drug Prescription Plan. Didn’t do it with one of the several bloated budgets we’ve had since 2000. But you threaten to do it over THIS? Oy.
But of course we’re missing the biggest point of all regarding this story: Forbidding the sale of a port is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male.
• I wonder if these hippies that don’t believe in offing a convicted rapist/murderer share similar views with those pharmacists who refuse to sell the morning-after pill? For the record, I think if a pharmacist is working for a company they should have to abide by company policy. If that means giving out the baby-killing pill, then make the transaction. If the pharmacist owns the store, then he or she can sell what they want.
Instead of getting the State to off a criminal, and waste millions of dollars in appeals and retarded “protests” like this, can’t we just let the private sector take care of this? Give Bubbba a carton of smokes and leave him alone with the condemned in the shower room for 15 minutes. Case resolved.
• I hate these kinds of articles: Since when do health-care costs go down? Christ, these are just as bad as when the local media do stories about the increase in cable costs or the annual rise in university tuitions. The real story would be if these costs went down.
• Detroit is, surprise, having money troubles, and this means that the city is being forced to sign over its zoo to a third party. No, I’m not talking about Section 8 housing. I’m talking about lions and tigers. Er, wait a minute. I’m not talking about the city’s sports teams either. I’m referring to that community that fences in all those wild animals. There I go again talking about Section 8 again. Damn.
Well, anyway, one of the council members, Martha Reeves, is thinking that some RACISM might be involved, saying, "The symbolism is that Detroit is a black city and that we’re unable to govern ourselves. So we need an overseer, the state legislature, or what have you, to step in and tell us what we must do and how to do it."
Uh, Martha, have you ever been to Shittsburgh? They’re not much better than Detroit. Actually, Detroit is one of the few cities Shittsburgh can still make fun of. Anyway, over here in PA my area has had to have a state oversight board because this place still lives and spends like it’s 1970 and the mills are humming along. Hell, on the other side of Pennsylvania, the Philadelphia school system got taken over by the State due to their incompetence.
So before you go using the RACISM card, take a trip to Shittsburgh and see for yourself that whites can ruin a city just as good as your people up in Motown. Oh, wait. I said "your people," which was intended to talk about Detroit's city council, not black people in general. Oh dear, I hope that doesn't make me a RACIST.
And some people think I have no social skills. Yesterday afternoon after work I drove to the emergency vet place to pick up Max, who was rushed there Sunday. When I got there I sat down and waited for them to check Max out. Now I normally don’t have good experiences at vet places when it comes to speedy service. But then again, if my cat was in trouble, I wouldn’t want some putz bitching at the front desk telling the vets to hurry it up and wait on him and his dog Fluffy. Anyway, I sat down at one end of the waiting room, and this lady was at the other end holding her kitty. Everything was fine and dandy for about 10-15 minutes, and then the ghetto family showed up with “Coco,” which was some poor dog who got stuck living with this group of misfits. Now it’s no secret that I hate children, and this bunch had four of them. However, as long as the brats are well behaved, I can tolerate their presence, let alone existence. The problem was that these pieces of mini-trash were screaming, running around and causing an overall disturbance. Did the parents try to calm these heathens down? Of course not. Did they try to get them to settle down and read to them one of the magazines that were nearby? Nope – I have doubts that the adults in this mob knew how to read. After at least 15 minutes of this the one receptionist told me that there was an emergency in the back and the vets couldn’t finalize the paperwork to give Max back to me. “No problem,” I replied. I then asked for a pen and piece of paper. I then scribbled down the following: “It’s a shame we have to carry our pets in carriers wherever we go, but yet children are allowed to roam free.” A few minutes later when the receptionist wasn’t answering the phone or talking to customers, I slipped her my note. She burst out laughing and had to run in the back and try to get some control over herself. After a few minutes, more laughter from different people was heard in the back office and when she returned to her desk she nodded toward me and said, “So true.”
After dropping Max off at home, I went out to vote. Now I said earlier that Pennsylvania recently got rid of its old voting machines in favor of computerized screens. When I went into the polling station, I got ready for another ribbing over my party affiliation. The last time I voted in the primary season, the volunteers, who are mostly Democrats, do their best to make me feel at home. One example of this hospitality is when they scream to each other across the room, “We have a Republican here!” Today was no exception as I signed my name to the register book. There was one old lady working there who was a Republican, and I know this because the grumpy old man at this place said “He’s your kind, so you show him how these machines work.” After being shown the ins and outs of these devices and entering my votes (Santorum, Swann, and some local school board people) I was walking toward the exit and told her that I thought these machines were unnecessary and frivolous. She agreed with me and then I remarked, “Hopefully it’ll make many of the Democrat voters think they’re voting for Rendell or Casey when they’re actually voting for Pat Buchanan; we need all the help we can get this year.” That line didn’t go over well with the rest of the poll workers there, but that’s just what makes saying stuff like this more fun. As I left the station, I met some young guy who was running for State Representative on the Independent ticket and was looking for signatures. I put my signature down for him and we talked a bit. Even if I don’t support a candidate or referendum, I’ll still put my name down for them if asked. My opinion is that even though I don’t agree with the issue/person I think they have a right to be voted on by the public. My only exception to this rule would be if the measure I’m being asked to sign always got voted down in the general election. For example, if I got approached to sign some paper to support getting a measure on an election ballot that would make gay marriage legal, I’d sign. And when the voters by a margin of 80 percent to 20 percent shoot down the measure, I’ll laugh. Now if these same hippies still tried getting this stupid idea on the ballot for the next 10 years, then I’ll refuse to sign their signature sheet. You lost, get over it. Do what every good activist does – get a red diaper doper baby to make it whatever lamebrain idea they want to impose on an unsuspecting public legal.
Let's see if this week I can match up the teams I pick to win/cover with what I actually say beneath each game.
(5.5) Atlanta at Detroit
The Falcons upset the Bengals last week, and I'm a little wary of them having one of those “letdown” games. Good thing they’re playing the Lions this week, or I’d be more worried about that 5.5 spread.
Cincinnati at Baltimore (3.5)
I’ve been going back and forth with this one. You’ve got Cincinnati’s offense versus Baltimore’s defense. Whenever there’s a matchup like this, I usually flip the roles and compare the other units for this game (well that sounded a little gay). So, how will Baltimore’s offense matchup against Cincinnati’s defense? Hmm, I’ll go with the Ravens, although I don’t like that point spread.
(3.5) Dallas at Washington
The Redskins have been a schizophrenic team this year, and this is a divisional contest on their home field. However, the Cowboys impressively beat the Panthers last week on the road and defeated the Redskins earlier this year, so I’ll give Dallas the benefit of the doubt in this matchup.
Green Bay at Buffalo (3.5)
At the end of this season the Packers will probably look vastly improved from last year’s dismal effort. This is because they are beating crappy teams on their schedule. Shit, my first instinct was going with Green Bay, but now I’m starting to lean toward Buffalo. I better skip to the next entry before I change my mind 20 times on this one.
Houston at N.Y. Giants (13.5)
I’m sure the Giants will win this game, but will it be by two touchdowns? They’re playing the Texans. They’re playing at home. I’ll go with the G-men this week.
Kansas City at St. Louis (2.5)
The Rams have a nice home-field advantage, but I think this is more of a must-win situation for the Chiefs. Ah, shit. I heard some ESPN guy say the same thing earlier this week.
Miami at Chicago (13.5)
If I’m going with the Giants with the same spread, I’ll take the Bears, too. However, when Chicago went 15-1 back in 1985, weren’t the Dolphins the only team to hand them a defeat?
(1.5) New Orleans at Tampa Bay
If the point spread was any higher, I would have went with the Buccaneers. However, because the difference is only a point-and-a-half, I’ll see if New Orleans can make it a season sweep from Tampa Bay.
Tennessee at Jacksonville (9.5)
Jacksonville lost to Houston two weeks ago and beat Philadelphia last week. Which Jaguars team will show up this week? I don’t know, but Tennessee beat Houston last week, so I’ll go with the Titans to try and keep this game close.
(5.5) Minnesota at San Francisco
The Vikings got beat by the Patriots on Monday night, so will this be a game where they’re going to take out their frustrations on an inferior team, or will the 49ers be able to sneak one by Minnesota? Well, San Francisco has been manhandled by good teams as of late. I’ll opt for the “sneak win/close game” this week, although I’m starting to get flashbacks of that horrid performance at Kansas City from earlier this year. However, every week can't be a 40-0 defeat for San Francisco, can it?
Cleveland at San Diego (12.5)
The Chargers are much like the Bears in the sense that when they play teams that they should beat, they do a good job of it.
Denver at Pittsburgh (2.5)
Wait a second. The Steelers are FAVORED in this one? Something’s up. Sure Roethlisberger had his best game as a pro in last year’s AFC Conference Championship game against the Broncos, but to be favored by two-and-a-half points? Something tells me the upcoming election isn't the only thing rigged this week.
Indianapolis at New England (3.5)
Whenever you have a matchup where one team has had a history of defeating the other one, I generally go with the team that has won more times than lost. However, I’m going against the grain with this one. Just because.
Oakland at Seattle (7.5)
If memory serves, Shaun Alexander has a field day with the Raiders. Problem is he’s not playing in this game. No matter. I’ll still take the Seahawks at home against the Raiders on Sunday night.
While I’m on the subject of football, let me say that I don't like the idea of allowing headsets into the helmets of offensive players other than the quarterback. Sure it’ll cut down on the number of penalties, such as false starts, but crowd noise is part of the game. I remember when headsets were put into the helmets of quarterbacks, and there was some grumbling back then. However, the quarterback is the offensive field general; I’ll give these guys a pass. The fans pay a lot of money to attend these games – let them do their best to give their hometown team an edge by trying to vocally rattle the opposing team.
• Let’s see, what exciting shit happened today. Well, the better half had a day off from work (again) and spent most of the day baking gingerbread men. When I got home from work I went into the kitchen and noticed each one of them sported different icing/candy pieces. She also named each of the dozen-plus she made. OK then. Well, to be fair, she names just about everything in this house, except for my gentalia.
• Here’s an update on the out-of-control niece-in-law that’s going into rehab. The niece-in-law and her crack-whore mother have plotted a way to get the state welfare agency to pay for the niece-in-law’s rehab. Lovely. And I told Mrs. kkk why bother getting a present for her niece when we already gave her a three-month all expenses paid trip to the rehab center? Of course, now the crack-whore is holding the fact she’s committing fraud for her daughter and whenever the niece-in-law doesn’t respond to one of her mother’s calls by the third ring the crack-whore threatens to call the welfare agency and spill the beans. God I love white trash. Oh, and the niece-in-law is back with her on-again-off-again boyfriend. There's no way in hell he's getting a Christmas present this year because they'll be split up (again) before 2007. Hell, they probably broke up 10 minutes ago and will reunite at the top of the next hour.
• And lawyers wonder why people despise them so. A few months ago this young couple was pulling out onto a local state road in my neck of the woods. Suddenly, two cars slammed into these people, and the woman suffered a variety of injuries, including, if memory serves, a broken pelvis, a broken neck, and the loss of her unborn child. This incident is finally going to trial, and the lawyer for the two punks who ran into these innocent victims has his clients’ defense as, “Well, they didn’t have time to avoid colliding with the plaintiff’s vehicle.” Would you like to know why? BECAUSE THESE TWO ASSHOLES WERE DRAG RACING AT MORE THAN 90 MPH ON A STATE ROAD!!!
• I just heard on the news today that Shittsburgh’s soon-to-be casino is going to be run by this minority-owned company. This doesn’t bode well for the NHL’s Penguins, who were hoping another group would get the contract/bid/whatever it’s called, because this company called the Isle of Capri promised, if awarded the casino, to build a new arena for the city.
Personally, I think the whole thing is bullshit. I don’t like having a casino in the area, but whatever. That’s why I live in Westmoreland County, out of the clutches of the greater Shittsburgh region. I’ve voiced my opinions before about Shittsburgh bending over backwards to build new stadiums for the Pirates and Steelers, but giving the Penguins shit every step of the way in their plea for a new arena. Of course, a new arena won’t just be limited to NHL play and would be an attraction for other entertainment venues to come to this shithole of a city, but why let common sense get in the way of kicking the Penguins out of town.
Come on, Shittsburgh, kick the Penguins out of town. Let them move to Missouri or Oregon. Allow them to play in a city that has a state-of-the-art facility and sweetheart deals galore. Give the team time to mature with its young talent. I hope they end up winning 10 Stanley Cups as the Kansas City Penguins. That way, when all the Penguin fans in my area start whining to their public officials about how they could have allowed the Pens to leave we can hear these so-called leaders say, “I don’t know why they left. We gave them every opportunity to stay.” Of course nobody will lose their elected seat over this because Allegheny County is overrun by Democrats, so I guess George W. Bush will be blamed for the Penguins’ departure. Hey Mario Lemieux. You sweat and bled for this team and this city. You did everything in your power to keep the franchise you played for your entire career in this dump. When the going got tough, you nutted up and became an owner. There’s nothing else you need to do to prove to me to show that you care for Shittsburgh hockey. Pack your things, move on out and make a shitload of money elsewhere. I might even buy a Kansas City Pens jersey to commemorate this occasion.
But hey, at least the Pirates are still here.
I must say, however, that I was surprised at who got the license. I was sure Harrah's was going to be awarded it because that company is BUTT-buddies with my sack-of-shit governor Ed Swindell. In the article I liked to above, Fast Eddie said a while back that a new Shittsburgh arena would be built "regardless of who got the slots license." I pray the Pens move for greener pastures and the new arena gets built only after the team leaves. That way the region will have a brand-new stadium but no hockey team to occupy it 40-50 times per year. Just another day in Shittsburgh.
8 p.m.
• So in the mornings on the way to work, the better half no longer lets me listen to the local RIGHT-WING RADIO guy. It’s not that she hates the host, it’s because she HATES the female co-host. What do we listen to instead? ESPN’s Mike and Mike in the Morning. Why? Because their voices “relax her.” Whatever. Now generally I can tolerate these two, but today they were getting on my last nerve. I guess this weekend is inter-league play for Major League Baseball. In fact, it’s RIVALRY WEEKEND. Whatever. These two dolts on the radio were rating each of these MLB RIVALRIES. Uh, guys, just because two teams play in the same city/state and in different leagues does not a rivalry make. The Indians and Reds are NOT a rivalry. The Cubs and Cardinals are. The Devil Rays and Marlins are NOT a rivalry. The Yankees and Red Sox are. I can’t stand it when the media try to manufacture hype with this inter-league shit.
The other thing that got on my nerves this morning was the talk about Kyle Farnsworth talking about Roger Clemens’ “family friendly” work schedule.
This of course got the Mikes’ panties in a wad. How DARE someone actually give their opinion. If Farnsworth would have said, “It doesn’t matter because we’re all a team, not I’m going to go out there and give my 110 percent,” these sportscasters would be bitching about how everybody’s afraid to speak their mind. It’s not like Farnsworth said he’s going to beat up the Rocket for getting a deal that any starting pitcher would take in a heartbeat. I understand the whole “don’t talk bad about your teammates” rule, but it’s not like Farnsworth is on the Giants and told a radio host that Bonds is a roided-up freak. Talk about making something out of nothing.
• Honestly, who really gives a shit?
And if only we used more stem cells, I bet Honest Abe could have leaped tall buildings in a single bound.
• Well no kidding.
Of course there’s the ol’ double standard. Is this really a surprise? However, the next sentence got a laugh out of me.
So white supremacists are “mainstream conservatives”? OMG AP LIBERAL BIAS~! Yeah, I know the comma separates the rednecks from the Neocons, but so what. Oh, and peep the crime and read the bullshit in the last paragraph of this article.
How exactly can you tell if this was a HATE CRIME or not? Would these two victims have to have "cracker" carved into them or something?
• Well today sucked hard. Not because there was some crack-whore meltdown at the in-laws annual Mother’s Day dining spectacular. In fact, that event was pretty mild, although the stuffed pork chop I ordered left something to be desired. The trouble came earlier in the morning when we had to rush Max to an emergency vet clinic. I mentioned in a previous entry that Max had been fighting a urinary tract infection, and we had him on some medication which seemed to be working. However, we then noticed he was having difficulty going to the bathroom. We took him to the vet again and they told us to change his diet and put him on another type of medication for a few weeks. Everything had been going well; there was no change in his behavior or in his litter habits. We thought he was over his troubles, but when the better half gave Dessa, JJ and Max their late-night feeding Saturday (we feed them twice a day – early in the morning and right before we go to bed), Max wasn’t all that interested in his food. This morning, his behavior got worse, and when he started crying under our spare bedroom we knew it was time to take him to the vet. The problem was that our regular vet’s office was closed, so we called a local emergency veterinarian hospital and took him there.
We knew what the diagnosis was already – he was suffering from blockage in his pee-hole, which is a serious condition for male cats. The vets sedated him and got the grit out, which was causing the obstruction. Fortunately, we got him there early and it looks like he’ll be OK; we should be able to bring him home tomorrow evening. I just thank whoever is up there that there was a 24-hour animal hospital around where I live because I don’t think Max would have made it if we had to wait until late Monday morning/afternoon to get him an appointment at our regular vet’s office. What was scary about all this was that we had been monitoring his behavior ever since he was diagnosed with an infection in early April, and he had always shown no real signs of a problem until late last night. So if you’re a pet owner, don’t hesitate to take your animal to the vet if you think something is wrong – if you don’t, the results can be deadly. Also, even if you have a regular vet and you are happy with his or her work, look around and see if your area has a 24-hour emergency center; you never know when you might need to go there.
• Wow. I watched live that overtime goal in the last Sabers/Senators game. I know the NHL tightened up the rules but goddamn, you at least have to make an effort to stop your opponent from waltzing in short-handed and scoring the series-clinching goal. I’m not sure what was worse – that or Lebron James’ game-winning lay-up against several members of the Wizards back in Round 1 of the NBA Playoffs.
• This is simply ... awesome.
9:30 a.m.
• So yesterday I was debating on whether or not to come into work today. My work is ahead of schedule, but I'm a freak when it comes to getting work done early. I know if I didn't come in today, my idiot boss will have some time-consuming project waiting for me Monday, and I would spend half the day kicking myself for not taking advantage of working during the weekend. Well, I found out that our area should be getting at least 4-8 inches Tuesday, so now it's time to come in and call off Tuesday. I'm envisioning the traffic nightmares right now. I know my friends north of the border are used to 4-8 inches in the summertime, but this ain't Canada. This is Shittsburgh. There's a big difference. Trust me on this one.
6:30 p.m.
• So Ann Coulter said something wacky again, this time questioning the sexuality of the pretty boy, err, John Edwards. Apparently, being a bit on the prissy side qualifiies someone as being a "faggot." Odd, I would have questioned his pitching/catching status based on his wife.
I mean, when compared to Elizabeth Edwards, Arianna Huffington looks like a trophy wife.
• Scottie Pippen wants to play again in the NBA.
When it comes to athletes, I’m a pretty apathetic guy. I don’t generally despise pro athletes, but there are three I can’t stand. One is Barry Bonds. The other is Racist Dusty. The third is Pippen. Just so long as Pippen doesn’t have to play the final 1.8 seconds of a close game, I’m sure he’ll do well in Tinseltown.
2:30 p.m.
• Looks like the Pens might be headed to Kansas City. Ha.
I so can't wait until a new arena gets built and there's no hockey team to fill it up 40+ times per year.
• Here’s why I love Neal Boortz. Earlier on his show today he goofed on those “My child is an *insert school name* Honor Student.” He said the only thing that bumper sticker shows is that you have the audacity to put your kid in a government school. Awesome.
• I heard earlier today that some chick popped out a kid at the Quickie Mart I used to work at. Thank God I wasn’t there for that; childbirth assisting was never in any job description of mine.
