So, you might have noticed that I'm once again an active member of forums.thesmartmarks.com. (Or maybe you hadn't noticed. Whatever.)
For a while, I was completely gone.
And then I was a lurker that just corresponded with people via Personal Messages.
But I was advised that that's not the best usage of a message board. And a board as stellar as TSM deserves nothing but the best.
So, I'm back.
I almost posted this as a regular post on TSM or <the unnamed, quasi-hated other board> but I realized that stupid shit like this is what blogs were invented for. Or something.
So, I was watching Hogan Knows Best a few days ago. And the overrated daughter decided to spend a little Hulk-free time while on vacation in Key West. Yeah, shocker: a 16 year old wants some time away from her over-protective parents. Well, it turns out that the daughter was gone longer than the Hulkster & his wife would have wanted. Which leads to string of terrific unintentional comedy.
First, Hogan & his wife freak out that the daughter is "alone" (and I'll revisit that in a bit) and act like she's 5 and unable to get back to their hotel room. Hulk, she's 16. When I was 16 my mother trusted me enough to take the train to NYC to see a show at CBGB's and back again that night. Next, they call the police to report her missing. You just KNOW the cop was like "She's only been 'missing' for 3 hours, Hulkster." To make things even better, Hogan & the wife hop into their little rented golf cart and drive around calling for her & whistling like she's a lost puppy. "Broooo-oooke, where are you?" and 'whistle-whistle' are NOT normal ways to find your teenaged daughter.
And when things didn't seem they could get any better, Brooke returns and Hogan lectures her. "Looking like you do..." and "With who you are..." like she's someone even remotely famous. You could ask 100 people who 'Brooke Hogan' is, and 98 of them would have no idea. You could show 100 people her picture and 99 of them would have no idea who she is. She's NOT famous for anything other than that show. And - I hate to sound like an ephebophile but - Brooke's getting less attactive every year. She was hotter as a 15 year old, before she started looking like her mother. While I'll admit looking like mom is preferable to the Hulkster ... it's still not that hot. If I was going to be acting leacherously towards anyone on the beaches of Key West, it's not going to be the peroxide blonde that's average looking at best.
And, as promised, I'll get back to being "alone" in Key West ... she's on fucking TV. She has a boom operator like 6 feet away, and a guy with a big-ass camera not much further than that, and Hulkamania is running wild about this being a "missing person incident". I think it'd be kind of hard to kill, kidnap or rape a girl with a camera crew filming the incident. I'm hoping ... strike that, praying ... that they're freaking out because it makes for good TV. Because if they're really so idiotic as to act that way over such a small incident, well, let's just say that Brooke might as well join a convent now and get it over with.
Man, maybe I should have quit after the first entry.
As some of y'all know, even though I've left TSM, I'm still semi-active at The Pit. A few random TSM references have come up lately, and thus I meandered over to see how things are here at the infamous forums.thesmartmarks.com.
I even entered the chat room for about 45 seconds & shared a dialog with Amnesia.
I'm not sure if I'll start posting again or not, or even if I'll continue to blog or not. But rest assured, I'll be here silently and anonymously watching you all do what you do so well.
So, I decided that I was going to do a "running diary" of Raw last night. It didn't go as well as I liked. For one thing, I didn't think to keep track of the times as I was writing my notes, so I can't say what time it was when a certain something happened. For a second thing, I have the attention span of a retarded monkey, and thus can't stay focused long enough to, y'know, do a running diary. So here's what I came up with:
Show opens with Vince McMahon, so I'm presuming it's about 9:00 or shortly thereafter. I chuckled that he got the "jobber entrance" of no music, but presumed that his decade-old "No Chance in Hell" theme might not fit what he's there to babble about. And I'll have to be honest, I missed a lot of what he said, as I was very distracted by the guys that were close to a mic that kept trying to start the "asshole" chant, even though at the time Vinny Mac wasn't acting heelish. But from what I pieced together, he thinks that what Regal did was a-ok.
And remember the "second thing" that I referenced in my opening paragraph? Well, I got bored and flipped around for a while, so I missed Regal's theme & walk to the ring, and then part of his speech. But I came back for the end, and saw some footage of what he did last week, and then saw Kennedy's introduction.
And for the second time, noted that the mic'ing seemed off, as his introductory "KENNEDY!" seemed kind of quiet, at least compared to the fan's reaction and, well, everything else that was being mic'ed at the time. Kennedy left me largely unimpressed on the mic. His dialog wasn't bad (kudos to the writers) but his delivery just seemed off. Weird cadence, weird pausing. Just weird. I've read how awesome he allegedly is on the stick, but for the few times that I've heard him, 'meh' is as high as I'll go.
And then HHH came in. You know, I really like HHH's theme music, but otherwise don't see much about him that interests me. As ghey as it sounds, his 'look' is just weird. His aesthetics peaked during his "blueblood" gimmick, and then has fallen off the charts since. And since I presume(d) that he picks his own t-shirt designs, I have to laugh at how New Hampshire PWT he really is. Remember that whole "second thing" that's been referenced twice now? Third time's the charm. I missed most of what he said while thinking about his theme song & his wardrobe and whanot. I caught the 'punishment' part at the end, now, where it'll be a two on <whole roster> handicap match. Oh, that sounds riveting ... can't wait for 11:00 for that! Sadly, the announcement of the main event is what made me question my decision to do a running diary. I mean, watching this until 11:05 or whatever, when the main event is a "heel GM puts together a horrible mismatch"? Thanks, but no thanks ... I'll see how long I can last, though.
The show then proceeded onto the divas match. I have to admit that Mickie James looked the hottest that she's ever looked, IMHO. Still finished third behind Michelle McCool & Kelly Kelly, though. Which is weird, because (1) I'm normally not a big fan of the 'generic blonde' appearance so having MM & KK as my top two is odd, and (2) normally Maria is pretty much my favorite "diva" to leer at. She had that horrible New Jersey Shore Whore look in full effect, though, so she didn't do much for me last night. (Is that for a gimmick/angle, or is that what she chose to wore?!?) The match itself was so sloppy I couldn't look away. The hilarious do-si-do that they did when they fucked up an attempted back-slide was great; haven't these two been in the ring together a bunch of times? And the end sequence? Melina should have just announced, "wrestling's fake" as she stood there and DIDN'T hit MJ in the back of the head. I don't know if I'm supposed to give star ratings or something, so will give the segment *** for aesthetics, * for actual wrestling, and **** for "it's so bad it's good" entertainment value. Plus, partial thong shots always get a star from niskie.
Ok, my notes get kind of scattered here. Jericho came out to chit-chat with Regal, and then was put in a match with Michaels against the new M&M. I don't know why or anything, though. And all I wondered was "why put a guy from Toronto, that'll likely get cheered, in a tag with Michaels, who's probably still hated in Canada?" Sadly, though, I missed the actual match so I have no idea if they got along or if the fans did the boo/cheer thing or if they won the match or anything.
I saw that someone - who I found out this morning was Paul Birchill - had a match that seemed to be a boy/girl v. boy handicap match, but I had the TV on mute because I was on the phone, so don't know why or anything. Still, I was entertained by the match, and thus I'm going with ***.
I flipped around again for a while (My Name is Earl was on TBS, and a "girls prison" movie with Kristen Bell was on Lifetime ... she showered with another girl!) so I might have missed a segment or two, but when I went back, it was CM Punk v Randy Orton. Now, the first thing I though about was "people will bitch that they wasted this match on free TV instead of PPV" but I haven't really checked to see if that's true or if I was being overly cynical. Regardless, I found myself passively interested in the match until Regal came out to shut out the lights. So, at the end of it, I guess Punk is 'over' enough that his match getitng cut short will add to the heel heat. Or something. **-and-a-half stars.
And, sadly, that was the end of my Running Raw Diary experiment, as I flipped away and never went back. I actually forgot I was doing a raw diary until I saw my notebook on the coffee table, and by then was beyond apathetic about finishing it. Maybe it's for the best, this blog entry is already longer than it had any right to be ... imagine if I'd made it through the full 2 hours?
I read through the Halloween thread here, and have checked out a few others on-line, and I really don't see how people have such huge hatred for the movie. Was it a great movie? No, far from it. But compared to all of the other remakes, reimaginings, prequels, etc, that have come out in the last 5 years or so, it's far & away the best and most entertaining.
I liked that Michael Myers was a larger-than-life, long-haired realistic psychopath. I hate horror movies that involve allegedly normal (e.g. not undead) boogie-men in which the bad guy can be shot, stabbed, plummet several stories, thrown through windows, etc, and still get up like it's nothing. But when it's a character that is well over 6' tall and of large proportions, it makes sense that it'll take more to kill them or even keep them down. And the long hair? It's a petty thing for me, but I can't see a psychopath that hasn't talked in 15 years willingly go to get his hair trimmed, nor can I see the administrators at Smiths Grove forcing him to stay close-cropped. And in terms of him just being a bullied kid with esteem issues that finally snaps? I prefer it; it's more realistic. (Plus, how so many people hate Myers but jerk off over Freddie Krueger is shocking to me. Krueger the child-rapist is cool; Krueger the wise-cracking funnyman is beyond lame, IMHO).
I loved how they showed that Myers had made countless masks throughout the years; while the mask & hair combination made him look like a member of Slipknot occasionally, I still liked it as a theme throughout the movie. The kid thought that he was ugly and sought safety in a mask.
Malcom McDowell was awesome, as expected. I was more suspicious of him in the Loomis role than I was anything else about the movie, and he pulled it off with ease. I dug the "He wrote an exploitative book about Michael Myers" angle, too ... it made him less altruistic. All of the other 'cameo' or guest-appearances was dope as well; I liked seeing so many "name" actors and actresses pop up throughout the movie. And while Sherri Moon Zombie is still a relative amateur as an actress, she's improved 100% since Ho1kC. Oh, and it goes without saying, Cheerleader tirts are a the best tirts of them all ... especially one that wears a Slayer shirt.
I give it a 7.5 out of 10.
Well, I've decided to postpone my retirement from the internet. When I said I was thinking of quitting, it wasn't a big show, or an attempt to work the board, or anything like that. When I made that declaration, I was about 99% certain I was going to take an indefinite hiatus from the internet. Well, the 1% proved to be enough for now. So, sorry to disappoint everyone that was looking forward to me being gone.
Random story: I was leaving a meeting this afternoon, and stopped to talk to one of the executives. The cute surfer-looking girl from our IT staff, Dani, walked by on her way to the bathroom, chatting on her cell phone. Me and the exec talked long enough that we were still standing there as Dani walked out of the bathroom. She was still talking on the phone, leaving both of us to presume that she chatted while pissing.
"Do you think ...?", says the exec.
"That's hot," says niskie.
So, on a whim I've started a blog. I don't really know if I even want a blog, or if I'll keep posting on it above & beyond this one entry.
Some of you might recognize the title of my blog as a book by noted author & poet Charles Bukowski. Bukowski, for a long time, was best known as the author immortalized in the movie "Barfly". Unfortunately, though, he is now best known as the author & poet that the hipster doofuses have decided to fawn over. Seeing frat guys & emo chicks carrying around what appear to be brand-new copies of Bukowski's work is terribly annoying. Even worse, a lame bar (that pretends it's a "dive" bar, even though it's not) has decided to name itself "Bukowskis" ... even worse than that even worse, it's successful enough that a second one has opened up. It'd be one thing if he was alive, and could at least be reaping the financial rewards from his random popularity. But seeing as his success is posthumous, Bukowski's likely not enjoying it at all.
Yesterday was one my least favorite days of the year: the opening of the Red Sox season. I, at one point, was a die-hard Sox fan. Knew every player, voted for them in the All-Star Game balloting, even felt some anger when Mike "Gator" Greenwell finished second behind Jose Canseco in the MVP race almost 2 decades ago. But, now, baseball season means one thing to me: ESPN dedicating 18 hours a day, every day, to the most irrelevant baseball coverage imaginable. Hey, guys, it's game ONE of 162; let's not treat it like playoff implications are hanging in the balance. Even if I avoid ESPN, I still have to deal with drunk frat guys chanting "Yankees Suck" regardless of who the Sox are playing (or, even worse, at events that aren't even baseball games).
And, just so I'm doing something besides bitching in my first ever blog entry, let me say that I've had a good week of music 'shopping' online. The new Streets album (better than A Grand Don't Come for Free , but not as good as Original Pirate Material ); a 3-disc Stereolab import set, 95% of which was new to me; 2 Strapping Young Lad albums (I've only listened to one but liked it a lot, and will be listening to the other soon) and a bunch of Prussian Blue & Wagner from a WP index that I found on midnitecrow. All in all, a good week of downloading.