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In This Shadow

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Hawk 34


Update time



-Tomorrow will mark my final full day of work at the place I’ve been employed for 2 ½ years. All throughout this week, I’ve felt like a ghost around that building. My office is empty minus the cpu, TV and mini-fridge that I’m not taking with me. I basically been giving my successor the run through in regards to the job but he seems to get it which renders me worthless. I’ll miss a couple of the guys down there but I’m thinking we’ll stay in touch by some means.


As you might recall, I am still bitter at my boss for his actions but I’ll have to put it aside because despite me leaving, I’ll be seeing plenty of him over the years including my parent’s anniversary party next week and my sister’s wedding as well. I can play nice but my respect for him vanished.


I intended to stay out of the work force for awhile because I wanted to focus on school and I was burnt out on working…but I got an intriguing offer from a pretty well known international corporation that is Head-quartered pretty close to me. (This should be obvious…I think). It doesn’t pay as much as the previous job but the benefits and potential future options are much greater.




I said in a previous entry that I was going to be getting a new car in September and that is still my intention…


I’ve been driving my old Dodge Avenger that I had given to my sister for the past 2 weeks (I since sold the truck to the company) and I finally got off my ass and headed down to the Auto Mall.



-It just so happens that I live in close proximity to one of the largest Auto Malls in the Mid-West. It’s basically what the name implies, a giant assembly of dealerships from Chevy, Ford, Dodge, Toyota, Saturn, Hummer, Lexus, Honda etc, etc.


Price isn’t too big of an issue for me because I’ll talk the price down anyways. I just wanted a car with good gas mileage and fun to drive. I can fix my own car, so the issue of car maintenance that scares some people away isn’t a problem.


My father and I headed down to the mall and we went to the Ford dealership, which a good friend of his owns.


I could see the writing on the wall. I have nothing against Fords, I just drove one of their trucks for the last couple years (This was the same dealership I brought the truck at) but I didn’t want to get another truck and I’m not a fan of their cars. I knew that my father’s friend would likely give me another good deal and while I appreciate an “in” like that, I knew I would have to decline.


I think the real reason I did this was because a part of me wants to stop getting by on who my father knows. I spent the summer working in a position that I never earned because of that connection my father gives me.


My grandfather didn’t give my old man much, so he relied on himself since he was teen. He never wanted that for me, so in essence despite being 20 years of age, he still does favors for me. I value his actions but there comes a time when you just need to do it for yourself.


After dropping a good dosage on for my tuition and putting money away to prepare for no job for awhile, I decided I would just wait a couple months before really pursuing my new car. I’ll keep driving the Avenger for the time being since my sister is driving her fiancés old car. However, that car has nearly 175k miles on it and that car isn’t built to last that long. It wasn’t that great on the road during the winter when I drove it and I can only imagine it’ll be worst now.




I doubt anyone remembers back around spring time but I mentioned my old high school female friend who spent years admonishing people for teenage sex only to get knocked up at a frat party…


We kept in slight touch via AIM over the months but she moved in with her grandparents (yes, her parents weren’t happy) about 70 miles south in Kentucky, so we haven’t seen each other until last week where she came up here for her brother’s birthday party.


We bumped into each other at a Kroger’s Grocery store and well…


Yeah. It’s always a slight jolt when you see a close friend for the first time in a obvious pregnant state. I’ve always known her as this skinny model girl and well…not anymore.


It didn’t last long as the small talk quickly wore off.


It just made me realize how I haven’t really been in touch with any of my close friends from just a couple years ago. I actually miss a couple of those fuckers.




I start classes on Tuesday. I still remain here with my jaw on the floor realizing how fucking expensive my tuition and my books are. Books shouldn't be this high priced but I give all these schools credit for milking every dime out of every student (and their parents).




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