Jump to content
TSM Forums
Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
  • comment
  • views

Looking back at Love's empty truth...

Sign in to follow this  


I think I know how this story ends…


It was good. Very Good. However…




I can’t say I was surprised by any means. I knew it was coming and had the feeling in the pit of my stomach, I knew all along. It’s how this thing works, Love. You put your stock into love and cast away your ability to think clearly…


There’s no question that I let myself down here and let her control me and for what? So she could end up wanting to explore other things and then she goes and claims “I will love you forever”…which you quietly chuckle to yourself because of the absurd hypocrisy of it all. And you quietly thank yourself for being the "better" one because she never knew you were doing the same unto to her...


In one sense, I’m “broken” but that’s not because it’s over, like I said I knew there would come a day she would leave despite all the times she said otherwise, I’m broken because I learned another piece of life’s learning puzzle, nothing ends right.


Sadly you let something last as long as this did and believe me, *almost* sixteen months is a lifetime for me and what gets to you, what eats away in the night is the fact she was *that* easily willing to break it off, and not really willing to go for it and make it work and settled for what would be easier. I don’t know if she honestly likes this other guy and im guessing she does. Because I would hate to think she ended what we had for some short lived fling. But its what it is.


It’s funny, in some sense that you finally put yourself in a position where you would go to hell just to protect her or be with her and yet, while you’re spending an entire holiday weekend wondering while she's in the arms of another, should you feel guilty for letting it happen knowing well enough?


It’s like a really bad soap opera here. Because while she’s in those arms, here I am, fighting this feeling that kept growing in my stomach, telling others “I cant do it”. I passed up on opportunities just because that was how strong I felt for that relationship but was wise to know she would do something like this and planned for it....


This is how the story ends…


Sign in to follow this