9/18: Black. White. Muslims All Over.
• So it was late Saturday night and I was flipping through channels looking for something worthwhile to watch. I then stumbled across this “Black.White.” show on FX. Now I had seen previews for this thing, and it was about this black family who got painted white and this white family who got painted black. I guess the purpose of this stupid idea was for each family to walk a mile (or a month) in the other family's shoes and learn about racial harmony and all that other gay stuff. I had no intention of watching this shit, but you'll take what you can get when it’s late at night and you don’t feel like moving from the couch.
Holy fuck is this an awful show.
I watched the season finale, and thank God I skipped to the end of this stupid show. Although I was off in my over/under prediction on how long it would be before one of the white people were branded a RACIST by one of the the ni—, err, someone from the African-American family (I had my money on the second half of the show; the father got hit with the “R” word in the first half hour), there was still plenty of insanity to keep me entertained. One highlight for me was the 17-year old white chick that was in tears because the people in her urban poetry class (or whatever those stupid groups are call who try to sound like Digable Planets) were tearing apart her poems. I could comment more about the goofy white mom who was trying to understand why the troubled black youth from the other family was anti-social, but I have to get to the best part of this show.
I mentioned the black family had a teen-age son. I guess he’s running afoul of the law or something. Now I don’t know exactly what went on in previous episodes, nor do I care to find out, but this kid’s parents were worried that he was going down the wrong path. So what did they do? The took him to the Museum of Tolerance.
The Museum of Tolerance.
The Museum of Mother Fucking Tolerance.
For the South Park fans out there who remember Lemiwinks and Mr. Slave fist appearance, yes, there is such a thing as the Museum of Tolerance. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself. I will never brush aside anything Trey Parker Matt and Stone ever put into their shows again. I’m now convinced that my idiot boss is a crab person.
Anyway, if you ever stumble across this “Black.White.” show, do yourself a favor and just watch the season finale so you can witness for yourself the Museum of Tolerance. And if you should ever pay a visit to the Museum of Tolerance, find out for me if they have a smoking section.
• Speaking of tolerance, a while back I goofed on my pals from across the Pond because a British theme park was going to have a “Muslim Day.” I laughed too soon. My favorite parts from this article:
Minarets tower over two of the tallest roller coasters in the world, on the flyer announcing today’s big event at Six Flags’ Great Adventure & Wild Safari. On this day, the park will be “transformed,” as thousands of Islamists from across the northeast come together in Jackson, New Jersey for "The Great Muslim Adventure Day." Regrettably, Muslims will be the only ones having fun, as non-Muslims have been told that they are not welcome.
…
Speaking at the 2000 event were officials from numerous radical Islamist organizations. This included Yusuf Islahi, a high-ranking Jamaat-e-Islami leader. During his speech, he stated to the crowd, “The owner of the Six Flags Great Adventure never imagined even in his wildest dreams that a mere recreation area of this kind would be filled with Allah's praise; that speeches on the subject of Islam would be delivered; Dawah towards Islam be given; Allah would be remembered; the cries of Allahu Akbar would be heard everywhere.”
The next "Muslim Youth Day," held on September 8, 2001, faired even better than the first, with 10,000 people attending. The momentum was soon to stop, though, as the organizer for the events, Tariq Amanullah, perished only three days later during the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center. This was ironic, because just prior to the assault, he had been working on an ICNA website that was soliciting its viewers to give “material support” to Al-Qaeda, through one of the terror group’s main financing and recruiting sites, Jihad in Chechnya (www.qoqaz.net).
Another "Muslim Youth Day" wasn’t to occur until three years later, in September of 2004. The flyer put out by ICNA for this event caused a lot of controversy. The upper right-hand corner read, “ENTIRE PARK ALL DAY, FOR MUSLIMS ONLY!” Another part of the flyer stated, “All rides FREE! NO long lines! 100’s of rides & shows! Muslims only!!” And sandwiched between the two statements was the Six Flags logo. It seemed to many that Great Adventure had become a bigoted park. People were outraged. And to make matters worse, the organization it was allowing into its gates was tied to radical activity overseas…
Great, so now we have to chalk up waiting in long lines for a roller coaster ride as one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male. In addition, how can "the cries of Allahu Akbar would be heard everywhere" when there are no infidels allowed in the park during the Great Muslim Adventure Day?
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This Mexican chick calls and says that she is divorced with two kids – ages 6 and 4. She then said that she’s been divorced for 4 years. When the host asks why was she knocked up at the same time she was splitting up with the ex, the caller responds, “Because his parents told him to leave me.” She then complains that he never visits his kids and when the subject of her moving back to her parents' house is brought up, the caller says she can never go back because her two kids (ages 6 and 4) told her that they want to have their own place.
Runner-up: This 13-year old boy called and said that he has this girl “friend” that is overweight and has no self-esteem. All the boys in school like this girl’s mom who “parties and gets down” with this kid’s friends at her house and at various school functions.
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