10/1: Koala Love, Government Hate
• A few days ago I was ragging on Shittsburgh’s Port Authority because they were, once again, whining about how they would have to raise fares if they didn’t get more tax money to keep their inefficient public transportation system chugging along. In that same entry, I also goofed on how the Allegheny County Council wanted to pass a public smoking ban. Well, as I was driving through this pristine city on the way to pick up the better half from her job, I realized that I probably inhale more exhaust from these busses in a day than I inhale from second-hand smoke in a year. Should a tumor ever develop in my lung, I wonder if I could sue the Port Authority for having their pollution-spewing vehicles closer than 15 feet in front of me? (This proposed countywide smoking ban would prohibit anyone from smoking within 15 feet of businesses.) Hell, since these busses spit out more toxic emissions than my car, I feel they should have to be restricted to their very own road, and that road should also be an enclosed structure so those that choose to ride in these disgusting vehicles have to breathe in their own exhaust. Hey, it’s my right as a motorist not to inhale these toxic vapors; why should I have to end my life early because these lumbering contraptions freely pollute our publicly financed roads? But you know who are hardest hit by this pollution? The children. Well, maybe not mine since I don’t have any, but if I were to have a kkk Jr., he or she would be hardest hit for sure. Hey, if states can sue car manufactures for polluting the environment, why can’t I do the same to our local public officials?
• I don’t care if the way Australian scientists want to curb the growing Koala population is by planting a contraceptive between a female’s shoulder blades; I want to keep the image in my head of these scientists putting condoms on these cuddly bears. Why am I imaging this I have no idea, but it sure scares the hell out of me that I am doing so.
• Now the GOP is really on my shit list – just as I started to get into on-line betting these bitches want to outlaw me from using credit cards, checks and electronic fund transfers to pay my wagers. You guys need to stay out of my bedroom. Well, actually I don’t care if you’re in that room because nothing ever happens there, but don’t you dare set one foot into my computer room.
• I remember when Farm Aid was started it was to try and help small, family owned farms survive; a nice, populist cause if there ever was one. Now these concerts are encouraging us to eat organic shit? Either the original point of Farm Aid has gone away, or Willie Nelson, Neil Young and John Mellencamp have given up. I guess the next evolution of this concert will be to encourage everyone in attendance to write their Congressperson to encourage the banning of trans-fatty foods (unless this has already been done – I’m not hip on the latest goings-on at Farm Aid).
• Good for you Arnold for vetoing this stupid bill that would have given California’s electoral votes to the presidential candidate that gets the most popular votes of the country rather than the actual state itself. We’re not a democracy, we’re a representative republic; it’s not my fault government schools don’t teach this to our youth. Then again, it might be funny to actually let this bill pass because I’d love to see the leftists, who support this idea, backtrack when these 50+ electoral votes go to a Republican candidate rather than to the person running on the Democrat ticket who would be more likely to win this commie state’s popular vote.
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