One of the things that really sucks about being an adult is your “days off” and “vacations” aren’t quite the same as they were when you were a kid. I had Thursday and Friday of this week off from work, and what did I do? On Thursday, I spent the afternoon doing yard work, and on Friday I spent most of the day cleaning the house. No goofing around; no playing video games (much); no going over to a friend’s house (provided I had any) to goof around and play video games. Nothing. And it only got worse today because for our neighborhood had a garage sale and the better half decided we needed to unload some of our junk onto willing buyers. My experiences with these kinds of sales are limited; back in the day I went to this local flea market a few times to buy sports cards and crappy baseball hats, and that’s about the extent of my flea market/garage sale expertise. Mrs. kkk had agreed to take part of this event and spent all week pricing our junk. Most of the stuff we that were going to pimp were leftover wedding materials (centerpieces, candles, etc.) from our wedding, but she also rummaged through some other trinkets that have been tossed aside. Still sore from two days’ worth of work around the house, I was woken up at 7 this morning and told to get ready for six hours’ of selling. Yippie. After getting a shower, I trudged out to our driveway, where the better half already had our several tables of crap on display. As I stood out there in the brisk autumn air, I thought to myself who seriously stops by these places to engage in this sort of commerce?

As it turned out, quite a bit more people than I had initially thought.

After 10 minutes, people started arriving on our street looking at all the stuff we had deemed worthy for purchase. All in all, it was a successful day – the better half got more than $105 for our crap, but the transaction I will forever remember revolved around a $1 sale involving a VHS tape. We had about a dozen or so VHS tapes out on display; because we had each of these movies on DVD, we figured this might be a good opportunity to unload these tapes. This old guy stopped by and was looking through our titles. And what did he eventually select? Did he select the awesomeness that is one of the three Indiana Jones films? No. Was it "Enemy of the State," a movie I was so-so about, but I’ve heard good reviews from other people I know? Nope. Was it "G.I. Jane," a film that I thought would be a feminazi piece of shit but actually turned out way better than I had expected? Na-ah. What movie did this guy, after reading the back cover of its box, finally decide upon?

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Remember how I said our VHS collection had been upgraded to DVD? Well, I lied. One movie didn’t make the cut, and this was it. Years ago I bought "I Got the Hook Up" because I wanted to see how awful a Master P-produced film could be, and not awful in the “Killer Klowns From Outer Space” awful where “awful” is actually “good.” I’m talking “awful” in “how the fuck did this ever get created?” I think the worst thing about the old guy purchasing this from us is that he’s soon going to watch this piece of shit, remember where it was that he bought it and try to get even by setting our house on fire. I’m praying he got this VHS as a gag or as a gift to his wigger grandson who is kicking it g-style in the heart of suburbia. Another sad facet of this story is that shortly after this old guy left with his prize, these kids came by and bought all of our VHS taps; one of them even pointed out to his one friend that “Don’t be a Menace to South Central while Drinking your Juice in the Hood” was a great movie. At least with this customer I would have known that “I got the Hook up” would have gone to a loving home not to be thrown into the trash after just 10 minutes of viewing.