10/25: Fed Up With Fillings
A Target recently opened next to my grocery store of choice, and the better half and I stop in there once a month or so to pick up her prescription that makes sure kkk jr.’s don't make their way into this world. Before heading over to the pharmacy, she stopped at a Starbucks mini-store inside this place. Seeing how it takes 10 minutes for these people to make one cup of anything, I plopped down on a nearby chair and stared off into space. This Target cashier chick who was sitting at a table next to mine had to have been on her break and was playing with her cell phone. She then began telling the chick making Mrs. kkk’s coffee about some new feature on this phone. Afterward, she started talking about how she needs to get pumpkin pie filling and evaporated milk before she leaves work today because tomorrow she doesn’t work or have to go to school and she is going to spend all day making pumpkin pies with her mom because this is the only time they’ll be able to do such a thing because she has to either work or go to school each day for the rest of the week and possibly next week and that she hasn’t made pumpkin pie or baked anything for the longest time and that she already has one can of pumpkin pie filling that has been on her mom’s counter for like TWO WEEKS and that she just hasn’t had time to bake and tomorrow is the only time for the rest of the week and possibly the next week that she’ll have to spend this quality time with her mom like she used to back when she didn’t have so many responsibilities and she hasn’t baked or had a slice of pumpkin pie in such a long time…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Oh for fuck’s sake someone load up a gun and put me out of my misery. Normally I can tolerate stupid co-worker banter, but not when it’s as retarded as this. At least when I had conversations with my fellow cashiers, I talked about stuff worth listening to. One line that really drew the ire of some old bitch back in the Quickie Mart days took place during that whole Susan Smith story – you know, that woman who drove her kids into a lake and then later said she was carjacked by some black guy. Anyway, this was during the time her scumbag defense team was trying to defend her using some bullshit excuse (probably molestation; I can’t remember what it was) and I said to my fellow cashier, “You know, why is it whenever a mom kills her kids these psychology experts want us to understand why she did it and how we’re supposed to show sympathy and understanding, but yet whenever there’s the slightest mention of a deadbeat dad in the media you have to beat these same feminazis back with a stick?” Although that aforementioned woman who I didn’t see standing in one of the snack aisles wasn’t amused by this remark, the guy at the coffee machines found it funny as hell – and if I can’t make at least half of my customers walk out of the store feeling better than when they did coming in, then what good am I?
Back to Target. After I had enough of this gab, I started talking out loud to Mrs. kkk at the same volume this chick had been talking to the Starbucks cashier. Honey, are we getting our pumpkins for Halloween tonight from Giant Eagle or tomorrow and if we are then when are you going to carve them and if you do are you going to roast the pumpkin seeds like you do every year and if you do are you going to bake them in multiple flavors like you did last year I really liked the cinnamon ones you tried although the garlic ones were a bit too strong but you can’t beat the ones with just plain old salt hey if you do carve out the pumpkins this year what designs are you planning on I really liked the one of the haunted house you did last year by the way are you still using the same book of design ideas or did you get a new one this year I can’t remember hey are you going to make more of those cinnamon pumpkin seeds because I really liked them last year and are you going to use candles or some other source of lighting…
It was about this time when Mrs. kkk paid for her coffee and told me to get the hell up. Well at least I didn’t have to hear about any more fucking pumpkin pie filling.
And when grocery shopping finally commenced, we were in the foreign food aisle, which is just a fancy way of selling you overpriced crap. As the better half looked at a bottle of Chinese (yeah, right) orange glaze, she asked, “If you pour this over some meat, do you think you could make “Orange Beef”? At least the comment I made afterward didn’t result in the smack I received being one that caused any bruising. At least not yet.
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