A few days ago I was goofing on some commie faggot going up against this GOP Congresschick. This guy was running ads on the local RIGHT-WING RADIO station in the Shittsburgh market, and I was making fun of him for the waste of advertising money he spent that probably riled up the conservative listeners who heard, “Commie Faggot wants to INCREASE the minimum wage.” Well, the Congresschick just had a gem of an ad played on the radio, and I just have to share this one, too. This chick is a Republican and she’s doing the “I’m going to distance myself from W. and try to appeal to the namby pamby pussy moderates in my district” route. A few ads I’ve heard from her talk about hippie shit like that godawful prescription drug plan that has recently been enacted. Well, while pimping this crap, the ad voice guy asked her challenger, who was being portrayed as an evil-doer in this spot who didn’t want old people to get their medicine, “Commie Faggot, what did seniors ever do to you?” Oh for fuck’s sake. This race is actually amusing to witness, because the Commie Faggot is trying to show how much of a moderate he is by saying that he’s “pro-gun.” I love it when Democrats try to pull this shit off because it’s just as funny as when Republicans go, “We are so about black people,” and then proceed to get only 5 percent of this demographic’s vote. In fact, one of my fondest memories from the 2004 election was when Kerry went into some hunting office in either Ohio, West Virginia or Pennsylvania (I can’t remember what state it took place in) and said, “Can I get me a huntin’ license?” That soundbite was so goddamn funny that it puts his “I voted for the $80 billion before I voted against it” to shame.

I was asked earlier today which Party I thought would win this election. I have no clue. Hell, even if I had a guess, I wouldn’t put much stock into it, considering my track record of correctly picking baseball and football games. However, here’s my two cents: For some reason I haven’t been buying this Democrat sweep into power that is supposed to resemble what happened in 1994 with the Republicans. I have no proof or, worse yet, polling data, to back up what I just said – it’s just a feeling. Plus, with the few special elections that have taken place since 2004 the Republican has been able to maintain his or her seat. One election took place in Ohio and the other in California. Granted these seats were in Republican districts, and the results were probably closer than usual for the GOP to keep these seats, but I’m just don’t think the House of Representatives will swing by a margin large enough to give it over to the Democrats. I’ve always been more concerned about the Senate turning commie, but perhaps that’s because the Santorum/Junior race isn’t looking good for the GOP and I’m getting a distorted image of the nationwide feel. I will say this: if the Republicans don’t win the Tennessee Senate race, I doubt they’ll win Missouri and have no shot at Ohio or New Jersey, although I don’t think they win either the Buckeye or Garden state either.

While I’m talking about Ohio, how the fuck is Ken Blackwell not going to win the governorship? I can understand not re-electing that Rino Duh-Whine (although I wouldn’t be voting for the commie the Dems have brought forth), but I always liked Blackwell while I was an Ohio resident. Christ, I hope the Blue Plague doesn’t swallow up Ohio along with Pennsylvania (even more than it already is) and Virginia until the flyover red states have a chance to beef up on electoral votes in the next census. Back to Pennsylvania. God is this election going to suck; the most conservative official on the national scene will be friggin’ Alren Specter? Oy. I will be voting straight party line this election and, like I’ve said before in previous entries, what’s funny is that in Pennsylvania returns from Shittsburgh and Philadelphia come in first, and the Democrat is always in the lead by a 90-10 margin. In addition, because of all the old people and union whores that have their “Vote Democrat” and “Bush Wants To Steal My Medicare So He Can Give Halliburton Another Tax Cut” bumper stickers and pins trudging throughout this area like zombies in any of the “____ of the Dead” movies, I feel like a lowly Hobbit armed only with a wooden sword trying and garbage can lid for a shield trying to hold off these hoarding masses until my redneck brethren from the middle part of the state have their votes counted to the point where the Republican can overtake his or her Democrat opponent. However, this will not be the case this time around; if Santorum can lose by single digits and if Swann can lose by no more than 25 points, I guess I’ll be content. And like I said earlier at the other place, if Junior only wins by single digits I'll be wanking it. But not to Rick's image, because that would be gay and he wouldn't like that.

Back to election predictions. There’s no way Republicans will gain any seats, but will they lose enough to hand power over to the Democrats? I said above that I was more concerned about the Senate than the House, so if the GOP can retain control of the Senate (thank you Joe Lieberman for running as an Independent), I think they will also keep the House. Then again, this is the same person who this year predicted the Yanks and Twins in the ALCS and the Dodgers and Padres in the NLCS, so you probably just wasted several minutes of your life reading this rambling drivel. However, you do that anyway when you read my other entries at KK's Korner, so my sympathy for you is nonexistent.

Oh, and Claire McCaskill will win Missouri by 30 points. Fuck you Tyler.