• It must be budget time at NASA, because now they’re talking about colonizing the moon or something. Don’t care. I’m sure space travel was a big deal 50 years ago, and I am also aware that many products we enjoy today came indirectly from space and military research, but this is 2006. Nobody cares about this anymore, and even if some did they are finding ways to get into space without government spending. (Remember that contest a year or so ago that offered a cash prize for the first private flight into space, or goofy “sphere” that’s above us?) But NASA will get everything it wants and more because, hey, it’s the government. What else have they got to do with money besides spend it?

• Gwyneth Paltrow recently took some flack for saying that she likes Brits better than Yanks at her dinner table. Here's what she said:

"I love the English lifestyle, it's not as capitalistic as America. People don't talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner," ... " "I like living here because I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans."

Now I could jump on the “If you hate America so much then giiiit out” bandwagon, but it seems that she’s already done that by living in England with trips to the United States to squirt out an Apple, Plum, Orange or Grape Nut. To the surprise of some, I’m going to come to her defense somewhat on this one. She thinks the dinner conversation from across the Pond is more thoughtful than here in the States. Who’s to say she’s wrong? As much as I love my brothers from anotha motha in anotha country, you guys are a bit too socialist for my liking, so it wouldn’t surprise me that less people over there discuss work-related matters while eating their meals. Besides, I’m sure meal-time conversation is important to Paltrow. What else is she going to do at the dinner table, eat? I normally don’t spend much time talking during this time, but that’s because I have food in my mouth.

• In lovecraft’s blog he recently talked about Rachael Ray, and I expressed my hatred toward this bitch in the kitch … en. (Wow was that bad.) Why do I hate her? I don’t really know. I just get the same vibe from her as I did from those uber-preppy girls in high school who would whine and bitch about getting only a 102 percent on a test while I was lucky to fill in my name in the correct blank. You know who I’m talking about, the same kind of girls who would pout because their daddy bought them the black Corvette when they wanted the red. Last December the better half had one of Ray's “Survive on $20 in this expensive part of town” shows on the Food Network. As I sat there watching this garbage, that half-hoarse/half-annoying voice of hers began grating against my soul, or what little of it I have left. Not only was I being annoyed by her, I began to seethe with hate about having to watch this. Did I go upstairs and surf the Internet? No. Did I leave and watch something from the spare bedroom television? Of course not. Did I read a book? N*gga plz. All I could do is sit there and watch as my rage boiled over into a deep hatred. I don’t care if Joe’s Café on 5th Avenue offers $2 coffees from 2-5 p.m. I don’t care if there’s some back-alley Asian eatery that serves up fresh dog every morning. My hatred for Rachael Ray knows no bounds.

It only got worse from there. Last week as I was doing the weekly trip to the grocery store I noticed that Ms. Ray has defiled my store’s Triscuit boxes, among other Nabisco products. Why Nabisco, why? Now every time I reach for a box of this wheaty goodness I get to see her on the box with that look of “Hey, I’m a millionaire just for telling people how to cook a bunch of crappy stuff.” I’m sure if I ever see nl-asshole in real life I’d probably get the same feeling as I now do every time I walk down the cracker aisle of my neighborhood supermarket.