12/22: KKKhristmas Shopping, Part I
For the last few years I have done my kkkhristmas shopping for the better half early into the season. Now for the first time in several years I avoided Black Friday and stayed away from those unbeatable deals found in the Sunday circulars. I figured this year I’ll do the shopping the Friday before Jesus' b-day when she’s out at her second job. So here’s a rundown of my thrill-packed day.
My workplace had its yearly holiday party, and for the third straight year I avoided it entirely. Fuck those people. Sorry, but I’m not about to break bread with a good number of these assholes, even if is just for show. If I don’t like you motherfucker I don’t like you, and the holiday season isn’t going to change that. If anything these Jew bastards should be happy they don’t have to spring for another meal at whatever cheap-ass restaurant they decided to hold this year’s lunch. Why am I talking about this? Because when everyone was out at this event, and then to an early exit home, I headed out to deliver some material to a mailing service and then thought I could get my kkkhristmas shopping done. Boy was I wrong.
My first stop was Best Buy. Holy Christ was traffic awful. In hindsight I should have known better because this shopping center is horribly laid out. I’ve stopped by this area before when I didn’t feel like going right back to work after dropping off my monthly mailing service parcels, but these times were during the non-holiday season. I should have known better, but whatever. After finally getting into Best Buy, I discovered that the store was ransacked and the shelves were nearly bare. Hell, I didn’t even know what I wanted to get the better half. However, I just spent 30 minutes in gridlock, so I HAD to get something. Let’s see, she has been nagging me about seeing the Underworld sequel. There we go. While I’m out in this area I might as well check out the nearby Target and Circuit City stores. Shit, nothing in either one of these stores. Might as well get the uber-Narnia 40-disc special edition since it’s only $7 more than the regular 15-disc non-uber-edition. Oh well, it got me out of the office for a few hours. I returned back to work for 10 minutes, finished what I had to and headed home.
On my way home from work I was stopped at a red light at a shitty intersection where the stop lights fuck the traffic up even worse than it would normally be. Hmm, there’s a Wal-Mart nearby, but it’s usually filled with black people. No joke: This store supposedly has one of the highest rates of theft in the region, and it was rumored that it would close up shop. Might as well give it a shot. Jesus Chrst, there are almost as many old/fat people in the store with those scooter devices than there are cars in the parking lot. LOL – this kid is yelling “I have to go potty” and the rest of the young’ins in this clan (3-4 more, at least) are now yelling the same thing with the parents about ready to have a meltdown. And I’ll say this about black people and shopping carts – they’re almost as bad driving those things as they are with their cars. And they aren’t insured driving either one. Or am I thinking about Mexicans? I spent about five minutes in this shithole and high-tailed it out of there. So it’s still been more than a year since I have actually purchased anything at Wal-Mart. It’s not that I’m a Wal-Mart hater. I'm an under-class hater, and Wal-Mart has plenty of them. Then again, going into one of these stores can make you feel much better about yourself, or it will sadden you seeing your fellow man in such pathetic condition. I guess it depends on what your mood is at the time. For me, seeing Wal-Mart customers is an uplifting experience, especially the ones with multiple kids who are waddling up and down the aisles complaining about the prices.
The rest of my trip home was uneventful, although the shitty weather, coupled with the holiday traffic, made driving for the entire day an adventure. Fortunately, I got home in one piece. I listened to some phone messages, did a few household odds and ends, and then got ready for my second excursion of kkkhristmas shopping. But now we’ll be in my (red)neck of the woods. My stomping grounds. My people. Whenever I make my rounds with retail shopping in this area, it consists of driving out to the mall/Best Buy because they are the farthest stores away from me. I then hit all the other stores on the way back home. First was the mall. Why do I even bother going to this place? None of these stores do anything for me. I don’t buy clothes or jewelry, so that wipes out at least half of the merchants there right off the bat. Hey, I’ll walk into Spencer’s and look at all the crap that I’ll never buy. What’s funny about Spencer’s is that I always see these teen-agers hanging out, but then there are always one or two old normal-looking patrons who are in the sex-card/humor section of the store. Heh. Well, I’m at the mall, I might as well buy some way over-priced calendars of kittens. Next year is coming up and we need calendars. And they’re kitties. Sure I can get them at half-price elsewhere, but I’m already here and getting a free look at the cashier’s rack. One sixteen-month calendar and a one-a-day calendar. They cost HOW much? Oh what the hell, it’s kkkhristmas.
As I’m typing, my female cat Dessa is taking a shit in the computer room’s litter box. How the hell can cats, after squeezing out a few logs, put their noses just centimeters away from their steaming fecal matter? Gag. Now she’s trying to cover up her load by scratching the nearby wall – USE THE LITTER. THAT’S WHAT IT’S FOR! Oh, and this odor is going to linger for a while. Say, what better time to bring this entry to a close on such a riveting cliffhanger? But don't worry, tomorrow we'll have the exciting conclusion to tonight’s kkkhristmas shopping excursion.
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