8:45 p.m.

 

• So I'm flipping channels during commercials of the Eagles/Saints game and what do I come across? Vh1's white rapper show.

 

Their very names strike fear in the hearts of white rappers everywhere: Vanilla Ice. Snow. Kevin Federline.

 

Though there are notable success stories — Eminem and the Beastie Boys, most obviously — pale emcees often travel a hard road to respect. "The White Rapper Show," a new reality program debuting today (10:30 p.m. on VH1), is both a parody and commentary on race in hip-hop.

 

The setup is simple and instantly amusing: Ten white amateurs are picked to live in an apartment in New York's South Bronx (the birthplace of hip-hop), where they must prove their rhyming skills and gain respect. The winner gets $100,000.

Oh my God. So the fat chick is saying the 'n' word. LOL. Wow is this so bad. PUT YOUR HATS ON STRAIGHT! Now the fat chick is crying because she said "nigga," had to wear a big necklace that said "N-Word" and is now crying because she said that word? I think I found my new favorite train wreck.

 

8 p.m.

 

• Well, nobody farted at the funeral today, but I got the thinking. Even though I'm old for TSM message board standards, I'm still young out there in the real world and don't really think of death. I do more than I used to, but it's still not very much. In fact, except for a freak accident while driving or something like that, I can't imagine dying right now. However, would I feel the same should I make it to age 70+? I mean, would I be opening my arms to the reaper at this time, or would I want to whittle away at some nursing home because I can't walk up stairs and always pooping my pants? Actually, I wonder what nursing homes would be like when I'm old. By that time, Internet-experienced people like myself would probably demand Internet access in every room. Christ, that would be something. Logging onto this place in 2027 and still hearing about how the McMahons are screwing up their company. I'm not sure if I'd be looking forward to death, even if I get to be of that age. Probably because I'd always want to know who wins the next championship in professional sports. "Yeah, I made it to see the Nashville Rockies win the '31 World Series, but the Stanley Cup is only six months away, and I want to see if the Kansas City Penguins can win Lord Stanley's Cup."

"

8 a.m.

 

• Indianapolis at Baltimore (4.5)

This game would favor Baltimore, but I seem to remember the Colts having the Ravens’ number over the past few years. Hey, I was right.

 

10-13-96: Colts 26-21

11-29-98: Ravens 38-31

12-2-01: Ravens 39-27

10-13-02: Colts 22-20

12-9-04: Colts 20-10.

9-11-05: Colts 7-24

 

Nevertheless, with Baltimore having McNair at quarterback and playing at home, I think this will be the time the Ravens pull one out. Baltimore 20, Indianapolis 10.

 

Philadelphia at New Orleans (5.5)

The season after Katrina hit and now the Saints are hosting a playoff game. If it wasn’t for this, I would be going with the Eagles. New Orleans 24, Philadelphia 17.

 

Seattle at Chicago (8.5)

The Bears still have a question mark at the quarterback spot, but because they’re playing the Seahawks, I don’t think it will matter – not even with that point spread. If Chicago pummeled Seattle in the regular season like they did (37-6), I don’t see much of a change now. Chicago 26, Seattle 13.

 

New England at San Diego (4.5)

OK, I’ve heard all week from sports pundits that this is the year Marty Schottenheimer wins the big game. I can’t do that just yet. I still have memories of that Chiefs’ upset back in the mid-90s when Marty had his team at a 13-3 record. I remember all those Browns teams who couldn’t get it done in the playoffs. I remember that 12-4 record back during the 2004-05 season that resulted in a wild-card loss to the Jet. Could the Chargers win it all? Sure. But Marty has to show he can take the necessary steps to get to the big game. The Patriots have done that in spades. New England 17, San Diego 14. (With that said, watch the Chargers win 30-0)