9:30 p.m.

 

• For those that don’t know who Myron Cope is, he was a longtime broadcaster for the Steelers until he retired a year or so ago. If you ever heard this annoying, grating voice on Steelers highlights from some “local voices” segment on ESPN or some other national sports media, chances are that was Myron. He was one of those guys you either adored or hated. I, of course, was indifferent. That was until he got into Mario Lemieux’s business by writing an editorial a few days ago telling him to keep the Penguins in Shittsburgh because it is the “right thing to do.” Here's what he wrote.

 

I hope somebody reading this is close enough to Mario Lemieux to call it to his attention.

 

Myron Cope, the retired Steelers sportscaster, lives in Mt. Lebanon.

 

Mario, I've known you since your rookie season and have always found you a fine fellow, so I'm going to ask a lot of you. In these cynical times when the bottom line so often rules, it's perhaps silly to ask, but consider emulating The Chief -- the late Art Rooney Sr.

 

Actually, this is a follow-up to a letter I wrote that the Post-Gazette published a year ago. I wrote that The Chief, saying not a word of it publicly, rejected highly lucrative offers from five cities entreating him to move the Steelers. He loved Pittsburgh and felt the city would be greatly diminished by the loss of a big-league franchise.

 

I also pointed out that Art Modell suddenly moved his Cleveland Browns to Baltimore after politicians for years did nothing to renovate ancient Cleveland Stadium. I faulted Mr. Modell for not hanging in longer, but I said that the silence coming from then-Mayor Bob O'Connor, County Chief Executive Dan Onorato and Gov. Ed Rendell on the matter of a new arena was shaping up as a repeat of Cleveland. I hope I'm wrong. (Mr. Rendell's Plan B, by the way, has seemed to me all along to simply muddy the waters.)

 

At any rate, Mario, I assume you have a great affection for Pittsburgh, or else you would not have made it your residence. Perhaps unfairly, I'm asking that you disregard bottom-line offers and keep the Pens here, simply because it's the right thing to do. Disregard our political leaders staying on the sidelines for so long. I doubt you'll ever regret doing the right thing. You'll feel good about yourself.

 

Some people protest the use of taxpayer money to give huge subsidies to club owners. Or they don't care about hockey. Their arguments are understandable. But, folks, the realities are that this has been the way of America for many years now and losing the Pens would be a severe blow to our region in too many respects to enumerate.

 

Mario, you've got the politicians over a good-sized barrel. Reason one, they sat as silent as stone pillars while you sought an arena agreement for years. Reason two, the state Gaming Control Board, by rejecting a casino bid that would have led to an arena, rendered a decision so stupefying as to cause me to wonder: Had board member Sandy Rivers behaved similarly when he officiated NFL games, might he have led the league in calls overturned by instant replay?

 

Anyhow, Mario, get the deal done in Pittsburgh.

 

America still includes many who do the right thing. Do it, Mario, and I'll even forgive the time you stood on a high tee at a par three and saw a runt on the green below standing over a 2-foot birdie putt. You cried out: "Cope! Choke!" As you know, I made birdie.

 

It's your turn for a Pittsburgh birdie. It's a hard one; more's the reason you'll be proud of it.

 

The Chief put it this way: "Money has never been my god -- never."

Hey Myron. Fuck you.

 

Put up millions of dollars to keep a team you played with for so many years, then you can tell Mario what “the right thing” is to do. And by the way, the Rooney family did threaten to move the Steelers back in the 1990s if their new stadium demands weren’t met. I’m not hating on the Rooneys, and they are good owners. However, don’t you even try to pull that pseudo-sentimental shit with me. When the Pirates and Steelers were in danger of leaving the area, the local media went apeshit with threats of doom and gloom if the Pirates relocated to Raleigh. City leaders didn’t give a damn about the Penguins until other areas began to court them. It’s called the free market. Deal with it, bitches.

 

6 p.m.

 

• Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Don’t know why I care, but it’s being broadcast everywhere. I never liked her. If that old guy didn’t put her in his will before nodding off, then she shouldn’t have gotten a dime.

 

• So North Carolina beat Duke last night. Yay. Duke is one of those teams you either love or hate, and I am the latter. I don’t even care much for UNC, but if I have to choose between the two, I’m the Tarheels through and through. Why am I talking about this? To segway to a Duke alumn currently in the NBA.

 

• Gee, what a surprise. Today’s Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption panelists expressed SHOCK and OUTRAGE over the comments of Philadelphia 76ers forward Shavlik Randolph, who said about John Amaechi.

 

"As long as you don't bring your gayness on me I'm fine,"

Awesome. Simply awesome. Here’s what the rest of his quote said:

 

"As far as business-wise, I'm sure I could play with him. But I think it would create a little awkwardness in the locker room.''

I always wondered how a gay guy could get away with staying in the closet when in the shower room after practice – wouldn’t there be certain … things … at attention? Not that I’d look. As long as someone doesn’t bring his gayness on me, I’m fine, too. Although I have to wonder how you can bring gayness on somebody. I guess you’ll know when it happens.

 

• Normally I’d be against such stupid regulation, but you know what: go ahead and ban iPods or whatever it is you fascists want to do. You latte-sippin’, hybrid-drivin’, soy-lovin’ New Yorkers are all about limiting the pleasure and enjoyment of other people (smokers, trans-fat eaters), it’s about time you got a taste of your own medicine.

 

Walk, jog or bicycle across a New York street with an iPod plugged in your ears and you could get slapped with a $100 ticket under a new law proposed by a legislator from Brooklyn.

 

State Sen. Carl Kruger's bill would also outlaw the use of cell phones, Blackberries, video games or other electronic devices when crossing the street.

 

He cited the death of a 21-year-old man who was listening to music when he stepped off a curb and was hit by a bus in Brooklyn in September, and the death of a 23-year-old iPod listener last month.

 

"If you're so involved in your electronic device that you can't see or hear a car coming, this is indicative of a larger problem that requires some sort of enforcement beyond the application of common sense," Kruger said.

 

Think about it. You have little Bobby crossing the street with his headphones blasting and can’t hear the horn of an approaching motorist. Suddenly, BLAM! Won’t you think of the children instead of your own greedy listening pleasure?