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2/9: A Friday Night LOVE FEST, KKK Style

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kkktookmybabyaway

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9:15 p.m.

 

• OK, it's a Friday night, and I haven't had to speak to anyone at work for several days. This means it's time for a kkk LOVE FEST! That's means I'm going to say some stuff that you might not normally expect to come out of my mouth, err, through my keyboard.

 

Topic 1:Democrats in Congress. That's right, you heard me. I feel for you people. Look, I hate most of you fuckers, and you cater to the lazy and stupid. However, even I have to feel for you on some level.

 

Three months after a power shifting election, a majority of Americans still disapproves of Congress -- a sign of public impatience with the new Democratic majority even among party loyalists.
Jesus Christ, it's only been THREE MONTHS! And Congress didn't even get back into session until JANUARY. There's plenty of time between now and '08 for these pinko commie shitwads to implement their destructive schemes. Give them some time to decorate their offices first.

 

Topic 2: Miss America. I can't stand Nancy Pelosi. How that dumb bitch ever got into a position of power baffles me. In fact, it is downright frightening. But this latest flap about her wanting some hippie jet to shoot herself to and from her congressional district of homos, faggots and queers is a bit too much, even for me to swallow ... ew.

 

For most of the past five weeks, House Republicans could do little else but watch as majority Democrats passed major legislation without giving them a chance to propose changes or offer alternatives.

 

So when they finally got a chance Thursday to air pent-up frustrations over how Democrats were running things, the Republicans decided to make some noise — and how.

 

They aimed high, all the way to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

 

The California Democrat went before the House Science Committee in the morning to champion her commitment to do something about global warming, a rare appearance for a leader of the House.

 

She did so as reports swirled on Capitol Hill that she had requested a bigger, swankier government airplane than her Republican predecessor had used for trips back to her home district when Congress isn't meeting.

 

For Republicans, feeling muzzled and still blue over losing control of the House, the irony was too good to ignore.

 

A waste of the taxpayers' money, some said, claiming her trips would cost $15 million a year if she used planes such as the military version of the Boeing 757-200. In its commercial configuration the 757-200 usually seats 175-190 passengers.

 

Pelosi should lead by example, argued others, because a bigger plane consumes more fuel and contributes more to the global warming she expresses concern about.

 

"The jet that Pelosi has produces 10,000 pounds of carbon dioxide an hour, far more than the previous speaker used," said Rep. Patrick McHenry, R-N.C. Pelosi's predecessor was Rep. Dennis Hastert, R-Ill.

 

"By commandeering a huge government plane for her personal transport to California, this is totally contradictory to the alarm bells we heard her ringing in the Science Committee just a few hours ago," Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif., said.

 

I heard some bitching on RIGHT-WING RADIO about how the previous Speaker of the House didn't use that big a jet to travel around. Then again, Dennis Hastert didn't have to fly from coast to coast. I haven't been paying attention to this story, but what if you need the bigger jet for a nonstop flight from DC to California? And if she wants to bring a few politicians from her state aboard, let her. That's just less fuel that will have to be used to fly those people back and forth as well. Now if Miss America starts ordering flights for people on this aircraft without her in it, then I'll raise an eyebrow, but for now just shutup about this. And don't go bitching that this is a waste of taxpayer dollars. Jesus Christ.

 

OK, that's enough of the kkk Friday night LIVE FEST. I'm getting the urge to take a shower now.

 

5:30 p.m.

 

• Everything's bigger in Texas, even the people.

 

Albuquerque's mayor says the city has a lot of options to keep people fit - everything from gyms to hiking and biking.

 

And because of those options, "Albuquerque is a very fit city," Mayor Martin Chavez said.

 

New Mexico's largest city was listed as the fittest city in the United States in March's issue of Men's Fitness magazine, up from a 13th-place showing last year.

 

"Albuquerque is turned on, and recognition like this just fuels that phenomenon," Chavez said. "Nothing succeeds like success, or I guess you could say nothing is better than fitness."

 

The magazine's nonscientific survey of 50 cities listed Seattle as No. 2 in the most-fit rankings, followed by Colorado Springs; Minneapolis; Tucson, Ariz.; Denver; San Francisco; Baltimore; Portland, Ore.; and Honolulu.

 

It's Top 10 fattest cities are Las Vegas, Nev., up from No. 2 last year; San Antonio, Texas; Miami; Mesa, Ariz.; Los Angeles; Houston; Dallas; El Paso, Texas; Detroit; and San Jose, Calif.

 

• I stopped reading this article after its first two paragraphs. It can't possibly get any better.

 

Reports that disgraced U.S. evangelical leader Ted Haggard, felled last year in a gay sex scandal, had gone "straight" after a few weeks of therapy may not have surprised conservative Christians who argue that sexual orientation is a choice.

 

But what did surprise some who also made the switch but took years to do so was the speed of the declared transformation.

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A somewhat humorous note about that fattest cities thing: when Houston topped the list a few years ago, the former token black mayor, Lee Brown, declared a "war on fat" and hired Lee Labrada to be Houston's "Fitness Czar." He and the 14 members of City Council pledged to begin dieting and exercising for 60 days and would then have a big weigh-in to show how much they lost in order to inspire other Houstonians to do the same thing.

 

The total amount of weight lost by those 15 people in 60 days? 37 pounds! I don't think that's quite what they were hoping for.

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That comes out to about one pound per person per month. At least government trimmed SOMETHING!

 

War on fat, eh? Yeah, forget about that whole Mexican invasion thing. Let's focus on the really important things. Christ, I can already hear EricMM yapping away at this one.

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