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2/16: Peace Out, Grandma

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kkktookmybabyaway

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10:15 p.m.

 

• Well, I just heard the news. My last living grandparent just passed away – grandma on the old man’s side. She was in her 90s, so it’s not like life cheated her out of anything; when it came to cashing Social Security checks, she definitely came out ahead. She raised six kids during the Depression; two of them who have died before her. The last time I saw her (Christmas Eve), she was bed-ridden and unable to talk, so it was only a matter of time. There are several variations of old people. You have the constantly miserable type, and then there are those who crack you up, no matter how wrong or off base they are. My grandma was definitely the latter. Growing up she would always speak her mind, usually resulting in family DRAMA, or hilarity. For example, my one half-brother lived at her old house in the attic and she HATED him. During on of the 1980s playoff games between the Browns and Broncos, my half-brother was going to take a bath and grandma said to him, “Get out of here you freeloading bastard.” This of course prompted my old man to get up and start screaming “CRAZY HOUSE! CRAZY HOUSE! WE LIVE IN A … CRAZY HOUSE!!! CRAZY HOUSE!!!” He then smacked the wall a few times, ran around the room and went into a nearby room. While most people might freak out upon witnessing this display of unadulterated rage, as a kid I found the whole thing funny as hell. Heck, I'm an adult and still laugh at this dysfunction. And grandma sure was a racist. I can’t count the number of times she referred to said half-brother’s longtime girlfriend as a “mixed breed.” Those were the days. She would also smack me with a fly swatter, but it was all out of love. She got moved into a home sometime in the early ‘90s, against her will, and stuck around ever since. I remember her bitching about this for years until she got too senile to remember where she was. At least she’ll have a legacy of what a brilliant “baby” grandson she helped nurture during his formative years and turned into the fine, upstanding gentleman he is today.

 

Uh, on second thought…

 

9:30 p.m.

 

• How about worrying about the Mexicans crossing your border before saying stupid shit like this? Christ, and I thought Richardson had half-a-brain after becoming governor of New Mexico.

 

Democratic presidential candidate Bill Richardson said Friday that President Bush should learn from recent successes with North Korea and engage in intense diplomatic negotiations in the Middle East to end the Iraq war.
"Recent successes"? Yeah, it'll be a "success" until we catch them fiddling with nuke stuff ... again.

 

9:15 p.m.

 

• The hell?

 

Comedian Michael Richards won't attend a weekend mock trial with four black people he targeted during his racial rant at a comedy club because the gathering is open to the media and amounts to a publicity stunt, his lawyer said Friday. Attorney Douglas Mirell said any meeting between Richards and the three men and one woman should be private...

 

... Lawyer Gloria Allred, who represents the patrons, organized the mock trial and invited Richards.

 

Allred criticized Richards for apologizing to black leaders such as the Rev. Jesse Jackson and on the "Late Show with David Letterman" but not to the people he verbally attacked.

 

"Mr. Richards had no hesitation in crying his crocodile tears and giving his spin on how sorry he was in a public venue," Allred said.

 

Richards' absence won't stop the gathering, which was set for Saturday afternoon at Loyola Law School, she said.

 

The mock trial, which will be open to media but closed to the public, will feature a three-person "jury" made up of former California Supreme Court Justice Armand Arabian and two lawyers.

 

After listening to legal arguments and testimony, the group will make a decision on whether Richards was accountable and what he should do to mend his actions, Arabian said.

 

While the mock trial carries no legal weight, Arabian said it was important to further discussions about racial name-calling in America.

 

"The use of racial epithets and labeling people in a racial way is a very relevant issue today," Arabian said. "It's instructive for the public to have a view of what this is like for someone who is a recipient" of racial insults.

Have I mentioned lately how much Whoria Alldread needs to die -- and die soon?

 

• I'm not even going to bother posting parts of this retarded story. The headline says it all: Lying to Doctor Can Mean Health Risks

 

Well no fucking shit. And this article is more than 900 words! Do we really need to be told how lying to your doctor might not be in your best interest. Hell, if you're going to fib about your health, then why are you at the doctor's office in the first place? Well, you could be trying to get drugs, but aside from that.

 

• The U. of Ill. should name their next mascot "Chief Dickless." Wait, that's offense to Indians who had mishaps with a large piece of machinery.

 

The University of Illinois said on Friday it will send its "Chief Illiniwek" to the graveyard of sports mascots, bowing to pressure from those who said the war-whooping symbol it used for more than 80 years offended American Indians.

 

7:30 p.m.

 

• Well, that chick lost after not being able to rap a nursery rhyme. Ha. Next week's show has these crackas going to Detroit to do battle raps, or whatever the hell those kids did in that "8 Mile" movie. That might actually be worth watching. Then again, knowing one of these people is going to win a lot of money has me depressed. I've got Derelicts of Dialect on now. Weird.

 

4:15 p.m.

 

• LOL -- so I just watched another episode of that White Rapper show, and it had the fat chick having to go to the emergency room after flopping at the THUG OBSTACLE COURSE. Oh she better not win this contest. Oh this is so awful.

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I lost my Grandmother several months back, on my birthday no less. It was probably a sign on what a shitty grandchild I was. My sympathies to you and your family.

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