2/22: Scalping OJ's, Lovie's Bank Account
6:45 p.m.
• So Jim Rome’s ESPN show and Around the Horn got all PC (as usual) by everyone going hooray for Illinois getting rid of the Indian mascot. Jesus Christ, get over yourselves. Don’t equate this with the white man wiping out the tribe of Chief I-Was-Stupid-For-Letting-Those-Crackers-Off-The-Boat. I feel NO sympathy for the hippie Indians. They had the home field advantage and blew it. My people came over, they saw, they kicked ass. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry? Fuck that. Yeah, whitey is a fucked up people, but it’s not like the Indians were these heavenly pacifists: they could tear shit up when they wanted. And besides, with the recent winter freeze I went through, there’s no way I want to live in a wigwam.
• I’ve been hearing for a few weeks that the Bears head coach Lovie Smith is one of the lowest paid NFL head coaches in the league, if not the lowest-paid. Must be RACISM! Or it might be that he’s employed by a bunch of Jews. Here’s how I see it: Lovie, you seem to be doing the right thing. Just keep your mouth shut and coach. Take the million-and-change and win another divisional title. Then when your contract ends go out there and get paid like a mo’ fo’. You’re a coach, not a player. You don’t have to worry about tearing an ACL on the field. You have a good team in a shitty division. Build up your worth and laugh in the face of Bears’ management when they try to low-ball you with no leverage at this time next year. I’ve heard from media reports that you like it in Chicago. If that’s the case, then you’ll have to live with the fact that you work for a bunch of tightwads. Believe me, I feel your pain. Well, maybe not so much since I don’t make seven figures, but I’m not here to do the class envy thing. You’re worth more than what you’re getting paid. You have to decide if getting shafted in the pocketbook is worth staying. For me it wouldn’t be, but you know much more about your situation than I do.
• So yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and even though I’m a confirmed Lutheran I still have to do the no-meat shit since the better half is as Catholic as youth sodomy. Of course, while beginning my meatless meal, she yells because I’m having double-noodle soup.
Her: “What’s that?”
Me: “Double Noodle Soup. You know, the kind you don’t eat anymore and I have to finish off.”
Her: “OMG IT HAS CHICKEN IN IT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “It says ‘double noodle.”
Her: “IT HAS CHICKEN BROTH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “Well then I guess I’m going to hell.”
Chicken broth? You have to fill an empty Campbell’s can up with water to cook this shit. Even sausage factories allow a certain amount of rat poop into their product. I’m sure God has some quality-control exemptions. If not, then oh well. I’m actually hoping that I get past the Pearly Gates thanks to some package deal I’m hoping Mrs. kkk gets for all the religious shit she does.
1 p.m.
• I don't know why I thought of this just now, but those mobile phone ads featuring Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley make me laugh, especially the one where the blonde chick thinks Chuck is Wade's dad.
8:30 a.m.
• Uh-oh. O.J. Simpson has to give up some of his loot to the Goldman family.
A judge on Tuesday ordered that O.J. Simpson's income from past work in movies, television and commercials go directly to the family of murder victim Ron Goldman, but he rejected the family's bid to collect Simpson's earnings on future projects.
Simpson was acquitted in October 1995 of murder charges in the June 12, 1994, slayings of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Goldman, but a civil court jury later held him liable for the killings in a wrongful death lawsuit and ordered him to pay $33.5 million. Most of that debt remains unpaid.
I hope this doesn't make him mad enough to kill. Allegedly, of course.
1 Comment
Recommended Comments