1:15 p.m.

• Oh no, Scooter Libby has been busted for outing a covert CIA agent...

Former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was convicted Tuesday of obstruction, perjury and lying to the FBI in an investigation into the leak of a CIA operative's identity.

...or lying or somthing. That ought to show how much I paid attention to this story.

9:15 a.m.

• Get the hell out of here.

Renee Williams, the 841-pound woman thought to be the largest ever to receive gastric bypass surgery, died Sunday night of a massive heart attack.

Massive heart attack? Well I wouldn't think it'd be a "small" heart attack.