KKK’s Top 103 Posters

Number 35: Damaramu

Everybody’s favorite TSM hoss, Damaramu will be remembered for his many shenanigans, whether they involved his abuse of power as a library security guard, his dilemnas with 16-year-olds or dealing with the loss of his aborted unborn child. While known for his sports-folder meltdowns whenever the Oklahoma Sooners lost a football game, I’ll remember him better as that journalism student who vigorously pursued his dream of writing athlete profiles and game recaps. And speaking of giving, I even sent him a book that I had to buy during my time in journalism school. Basically, it was a bunch of short stories about what some professionals in the field did their first year out of college and looking for work in this competitive industry. Seeing how Damaramu seemed genuine about his desire to be a reporter, and knowing that I will never again open this gay-ass book, I figured what the hell and mailed him this publication. I doubt he actually read any of those stories (I mentioned him this one story in that book I sent and asked if he read it. He said “no.”), but that doesn’t mean anything in regards to if he’ll make it in this crazy world. I only read one or two of those hippie stories, and look how great I turned out.

And now a word or two from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed.

From Carnival:

What a fucking nut job. Just a very sad human, when it comes to Oklahoma football, he would murder someone in front of their own mother for them sooners. Also took his job as campus library security WAY too seriously.

From SFA Jack:

Everyone else will pile on him for his "OU OU OU OU BAH GAWD~!" stuff. That's fine. It's a valid point. But his "my girl just aborted my son" thread is my favorie Dama moment. What an oaf.

9 p.m.

• And like a good neighbor, State Farm is there ... a year-and-a-half after the fact.

State Farm Fire & Casualty Co. will re-examine more than 35,000 policyholder claims filed after Hurricane Katrina and "make millions of dollars available" for additional payments, Mississippi Insurance Commissioner George Dale said Monday.

Wait a second, I've got State Farm for my auto and homeowner's insurance. Oh well, I'm sure I'll get properly jewed when the time comes, too.

8:30 p.m.

• I knew duct tape was good for many things but wart removal?

Duct tape's success at curing warts may have been overstated, according to a new study that raises doubts about the tape's effectiveness as a cheap, painless treatment. The tape supposedly works by irritating the skin and stimulating the body's immune system to attack the virus that causes warts. It earned a place in the medicine cabinet in 2002, when a small study showed it to be effective on children and young adults.

• What a pussy.

A nasty bite on the hand that a man got from his sister's Siamese cat is worth $122,400. A jury on Friday awarded Michael Sabo, 57, the money for an injury he got when the cat, Randy, bit his right hand in March 2004.

 

Sabo's fingers swelled so much that they looked like "plump hot dogs," his attorney, Tom Pabst, told The Flint Journal, and an infection put Sabo in a hospital for three weeks. He had to pay thousands in medical bills.

 

Pabst said Sabo's sister, Jean Toney, had warned people not to pick up Randy because he had bitten people before, but the newspaper said the cat leapt into Sabo's lap.

 

Sabo initially tried to get his sister's homeowner's insurance policy to cover the cost of treatment. When that request was refused, Sabo had no choice but to take the matter to court, Pabst said.

 

There was no answer Sunday at a telephone listing for Toney. A call to Pabst on Sunday wasn't immediately returned.

My three kids gnaw the shit out my hands/arms all the time when I'm playing with them. When we just had Dessa, she used to attack without mercy whenever I was using the computer or when the better half was studying. Did we sue? No. Instead I would give her a kitty treat to go away. Of course, this just conditioned her to scratch and bite until she got her "reward," and once she ate her treat she'd just hop right back onto the desk/table for more. How did I remedy this? Through discipline? Obedience school? No. We just adopted JJ, so Dessa could abuse him instead of us. Poor JJ.

3 p.m.

• So at work today our Marketing Director (Head Insurance Salesman) got called in by upper management because someone from our office staff complained about him taking his kid to the doctors last week during "business hours." There's one tiny problem -- the work responsibilities he has speak nothing of what hours he has to be in the office. As the head salesman, he doesn't have to be in the office 40 hours per week, or even 4 for that matter. All that matters is the business he brings in, and when you look at the figures, we nearly doubled out 2006 applications from 2005’s total (of which he started in April of 2005). You don’t even want to know the business he did when compared to 2004’s numbers. And of course nobody from our upper management knew of the Marketing Director’s “office hours,” even though they are the ones who made up the policy and told our Marketing Director of his “required time” in office during his interview! I guess I could also mention all the evening/weekend work he has done out on the road, but I'm still laughing over the first part of this post.