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3/31: It's Eazy To See This Jesus Is NSFW

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kkktookmybabyaway

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11 p.m.

 

• I have my fair share of rap CDs in my collection, which numbers between 400-500. Most of these albums are from the 1990s, and I’ve pretty much pigeonholed myself into this era. I don’t care much for contemporary hip-hop, but I’m not going to hate on it either. It’s just I grew up with certain albums and certain styles. I listen to what’s out nowadays and I can’t get into many of these flows. But if this is what today’s youth listen to and what they like, then more power to them. I’m sure those who grew up listening to the Treacherous Three couldn’t understand why I was infatuated with some guy named Ice Cube. For me, I’ll stick with what I listened to during my high school and college days. Now I have a number of albums that I consider to be solid rap efforts, whether it’s A Tribe Called Quest, EPMD, 2Pac, Redman, or Wu-Tang and the group’s initial offering of solo projects from artists such as Raekwon and Ol’ Dirty Bastard. However, there are a number of CDs that when I see in my collection I shake my head. I’ve mentioned “Shaq Fu: the Return” before and I’ll do so again, and there are some albums that you know are going to be awful but get anyway. You can’t help doing so. If anything, you get these albums just to keep for posterity. Such was the case with this one album. I knew it was out, and I had no intention of paying full retail price for this. Hell, I wasn’t going to spend the money needed to pick it up at the used CD store. Instead, I let this one person I knew buy it and bought it off of him for $4 after he realized how awful it was. And what was this album?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

str8_off_tha_streetz_of_muthaphukkin_compton_b00000dhtb.jpg

 

After the abortion that was “It’s On," which was supposed to be a counterpunch to Dr. Dre’s “Chronic” album, anyone with half-a-brain knew this follow-up effort would be bad; nobody will mistake “Str8 Off” with NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton.” I think what made me want to own this album though was that Eazy-E was in the midst of this project when he found out he had the AIDS. This album was released after his death and for me it seemed to be my way of pouring a 40 oz. to the curb in memory of the E.

 

Oh no, what happened to my lover?

 

Bitch I bashed his head in with my Louisville Slugger.

 

4:30 p.m.

 

• Christ, I can hear the liberals already whining about how we live in a fascist regime.

 

A Manhattan art gallery canceled on Friday its Easter-season exhibit of a life-size chocolate sculpture depicting a naked Jesus, after an outcry by Roman Catholics.

 

The sculpture "My Sweet Lord" by Cosimo Cavallaro was to have been exhibited for two hours each day next week in a street-level window of the Roger Smith Lab Gallery in Midtown Manhattan.

 

The display had been scheduled to open on Monday, days ahead of Good Friday when Christians mark the crucifixion of Jesus. But protests including a call to boycott the affiliated Roger Smith Hotel forced the gallery to scrap the showing.

 

Yesterday afternoon on the drive home from work the better half told me of this story and asked my opinion of the whole thing. She’s Catholic and thought it was a stupid idea to create a milk chocolate Jesus. Although I think a lesser stink would have been made had our lord and savior been sporting a loin cloth, I was more interested in knowing if any public money was spent making this piece of shit. But that’s neither here nor there. Actually, I really don’t care that there’s a sculpture of the guy who died for my sins and stuff made out of chocolate. (Jesus was a black dude – little wonder why he never had a job. Interchangeable hippie/black jokes; gotta love ‘em.)

 

Here's the "art" in question.

 

Oh, yeah. NSFW and all that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chocojesus.jpg

 

All in all, this is nothing more than typical “edgy” New Yorker shit. “Let’s be cutting edge and do something about Christianity that is sure to piss off a bunch of people. How about putting Jesus in a jar of urine? Can’t: Already been done. Well let’s make a picture of the Virgin Mary out of elephant poop. Drat: Beaten to the punch. I guess we’ll have to make a chocolate naked Jesus.” I could make a “milk chocolate melts in your mouth and not in your hand,” joke right about now, but … well what do you know, I just did.

 

Interestingly enough, I had another thought upon first hearing of this evangelical-led attack on our rights to display stupid artwork, which was brought up later by someone quoted in the article I linked.

 

"They would never dare do something similar with a chocolate statue of the prophet Mohammad naked with his genitals exposed during Ramadan."

 

Say, this just inspired Mikkkhaelango to produce his latest masterpiece.

 

mohammadkiss.jpg

 

I'll expect my National Endowment for the Arts check to be mailed sometime next week.

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