6 p.m.

• The NHL playoffs are just hours away, so it’s time to make some pickkks. Let’s see, the only NHL players I recognize are those that played in the early 1990s. Oh this should be fun.

(1) Buffalo v. (8) NY Islanders – that one guy from Edmonton got traded over to New York for a playoff push and cried. Buffalo’s good. Buffalo in 5.

(2) New Jersey v. (7) Tampa Bay – Martin Brodeur is still doing his thing. It’s nice to have a good goalie this time of year. Devils in 5.

(3) Atlanta v. (6) NY Rangers – I have no clue who is on Atlanta’s team. The Rangers have Jagr. Rangers in 6.

(4) Ottawa v. (5) Shittsburgh – I’ve heard some sports people say this could be the best first-round series of the lot. Uh, yay. Ottawa never seems to win in the postseason. The Penguins haven’t been to the postseason for a few years. I dunno. Senators in 7.

(1) Detroit v. (8) Calgary – I’m sure Detroit’s pissed at losing in the first round last year. Detroit in 5.

(2) Anaheim v. (7) Minnesota – I have nothing. Ducks in 6.

(3) Vancouver v. (6) Dallas – Mike Modano is still playing? Sweet. Stars in 6.

(4) Nashville v. (5) San Jose – The Sharks got Joe Thornton last season from the Bruins. Wait a second, Nashville traded for Petr Forsberg this year. Nashville in 7.

Second Round:

Buffalo beats Ottawa in 6.

Jersey beats Rangers in 4.

Detroit beats Nashville in 7.

Anaheim beats Dallas in 5.

Third Round.

Jersey beats Buffalo in 7.

Detroit beats Anaheim in 6.

Stanley Cup.

Detroit beats Jersey in 6.

Can’t wait to see how off I am with these.

1 p.m.

• Don't you know that distributing hot cross buns is one of the worst things you can do to Muslim male?

A hospital manager banned Easter hot cross buns for patients for fear of offending ethnic minorities, staff said last night.

 

In a move branded “ludicrous” by critics and religious groups, hundreds of the popular currant cakes were held back from wards on Good Friday.

 

Last night, Muslims stressed that hot cross buns caused no offence to them whatsoever, with one senior community leader even admitting he ate them.

 

Jews and Buddhists also said they had no problem with eating them.

 

The ban at Poole Hospital Trust in Dorset left kitchen workers and patients furious. It also drew widespread criticism from religious groups of all faiths and those lobbying against political correctness.

 

Staff said they had been inundated with complaints from angry nurses on behalf of disappointed patients but one worker in the hospital kitchens said the decision “was due to the manager of the catering department saying he was worried about the ethnic minority that worked here.”

 

Last night a spokeswoman from Poole Hospital Trust apologised to patients who may have been expecting a bun but said they had merely not been ordered despite it being the main day to give them out.

 

John Midgley, co-founder of the Campaign Against Political Correctness, said: “I very much doubt if the hospital involved even consulted its ethnic minority staff to see if they were bothered before taking the decision.”

 

Muslim groups also rejected the reasoning behind the decision staff claim was made.

 

Abdul Hamid Qureshi, of the Council of Mosques, said: “We have absolutely no problem with hot cross buns. There is no offence whatsoever. Any Muslim could eat them and I actually eat them myself.”

Uh, um. Well, I guess it's not. One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns.

11:30 a.m.

• Not allowing a Coretta Scott King portrait at the Georgia State Capitol. It's a lot like Hitler Imus.

A state lawmaker angrily lashed out at a legislative committee this morning after it rejected her request to hang a portrait of Coretta Scott King in the state Capitol, saying the committee's action was comparable to calling King an N-word.

 

Rep. Roberta Abdul-Salaam (D-Riverdale) also asserted that the House Special Rules Committee's action was worse than radio shock jock Don Imus calling the Rutgers University women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos."

 

"It is just like calling Mrs. King a nappy-headed (N-word)," Abdul-Salaam told reporters after the committee rejected House Resolution 376, killing it for this legislative session.

10 a.m.

• Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers:

#10 - Have to sit upright while driving.

#9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.

#8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.

#7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.

#6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.

#5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.

#4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.

#3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.

#2 - When they crash their cars, they bail and run.

#1 - They can't wear their helmets sideways.