Living life for the moment
I'm having somewhat of an early life "crisis' in that I have no direction and am not sure how I want to live my life.
My ambitious side desires that I become a productive member of society, working in a meaningful profession and making a difference in the lives of those around me and society in general.
Conversely, my cynical side says that "nothing matters because we are all going to die anyways" and in turn, pushes me towards a lifestyle of enjoying the moment and apathy towards work.
My ambitious side wants me to read books so that I may acquire knowledge and grow in the future, while my cynical side wants me to waste time playing video games. I think you get the picture so anyways....
I'm currently allowing my ambitious side to captain the ship that is my life, as I'm in college and working hard to put together a top shelf resume but the cynical side is slowly pulling at my conscience. I'm faced with the question: will the hours spent hitting the books, working throughout the week, and constantly forcing myself to grow and adapt to function in both the workplace and society be worth it in the end? As life is relatively brief, is it not better to "buck the system" and live a simple life spending time "hanging out", traveling, and accumulating memories?
Essentially, I can't tell if my cynical side is bread from immaturity and that living such a life would leave me unfulfilled when I grow older; OR if my cynical side is enlightened and has given me the early realization that the wear and tear of the life society promotes is a waste of our short time on earth and that in old age I'd be regretful of all the time I had spent working if I lived according to my ambitious side.
Feedback???
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