5/6: Working Not To Get A Job
6:45 p.m.
• OK, so the out-of-control niece-in-law is leaving her grandmother’s crib because … well, I don’t know exactly why. She doesn’t pay rent. Doesn’t pay bills. Doesn’t do laundry. Doesn’t cook. Oh, I remember. Wait a minute, no I don’t. She’s getting a two-bedroom apartment with some other late teen/early 20ish chick who already has two kids from two different daddies. This will end nicely, and I can’t wait.
But the story gets better. My crack-whore sister-in-law? The one who squirted out the out-of-control niece 20 years ago? Well, she just won her Social Security Disability case, so now not only will she be getting a steady paycheck, but also she’ll be receiving back “pay” from when she began applying several years ago. How much is she getting, you ask.
$40,000.
That’s right. FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS.
This doesn’t surprise me. Seriously, what’s the point in trying to get ahead in life when all you have to do is get drunk every night and get addicted to any kind of drug that can be smoked, swallowed or injected? Whenever I hear liberals whine about spending cuts that “hurt the poor,” I say “good.” Remember, when you start to feel bad about EEEEEVIL Republicans wanting to take food from the mouths of innocent children and single mothers, think about my crack-whore sister-in-law and about how she “earned” $40k just for contracting hepatitis through dirty heroin needles. Yep, that’s where your tax money is going – not down the drain, but rather into her vein.
What clinched her disability was a liver biopsy which showed that on a scale from 1 to 4, with 1 being the most critical liver state and 4 being a healthy liver, she scored a 1. So instead of perusing the classifieds trying to get another job that pays a bit more than your current place of employment, instead of going back to school to get an advanced degree in hopes of landing a better-paying job, just go to the nearest crack house and fuck your body up beyond belief through your own irresponsible choices. Only then will you get to live the American dream – sitting at home with free health care and a steady paycheck.
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