9 p.m.

• Movie spoilers ahead – you’ve been warned so don’t bitch.

So I was flipping through the channels today and came across the conclusion of one of the worst movies I ever spent more than five minutes watching: Mr. Magoo. Holy Christ was this one piece of shit, and the sad thing is when this appeared in the theaters it actually SOLD OUT several times during my stint as a cinema employee. Later on I caught the tail end of Sniper. It was OK for what it was – I’ve seen worse. Much worse. This prompted me to keep the television on Spike in order to watch Sniper 2, which was on afterward. Of course, the ADD in me flipped channels after they shot some guy. OK, so I lied – I was also watching the Cubs/Dodgers game and FAUX News Watchlol2007. They may have explained this at the start of Sniper 2 when Tom Berenger was leading some rednecks on a deer-hunting expedition, but I would have missed the dialogue: how did they explain Tom being able to fire a gun when his trigger finger got lopped off in the previous movie?

• Lindsay Lohan got drunk and wrecked her car, allegedly. I'm not going to link the story because I don't care. However, what I will post is the picture used in the article.

Do we have a match?