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The lyrical genius of R.Kelly

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Gary Floyd

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R.Kelly is insane. He's also a lyrical genius. Or he's inane. Either way, he's R.Kelly, and he's a goledn shower loving pedophile who loves bad lyrical puns and metaphors for sex. Here's a few songs that are proof.

 

"You Remind Me of Something"

You remind me of my jeep; I wanna ride it

Something like my sounds, I wanna pump it

Girl you look just like my cars; I wanna wax it

And something like my bank account, I wanna spend it

 

"Sex Weed"

Girl, you got that sex weed

I just want to hit it all the time

Sex so good that it gets me high

Bring that home grown to me

Girl you got that body

Light it up, let me take a puff

Of your sex weed

Let me hit that ooh wee, that sticky icky, your mary jane babyThat splash, that boo-boo, yo sweet Lucy babyI just wanna get a hit of that, good sex weed yeah

Sex Weed

 

"The Zoo"

Girl, I got you so wet

It's like a rain forest

Like Jurassic Park

Except I'm your sexasaurus baby

Ooo ooo ooo ooo

Aaa aaa aaa aaa

Those are the sounds I wanna hear

When you're moaning in my ear

 

Last but not least, "Sex Planet

Girl I promise this will be painless

we'll take a trip to planet Uranus, anus

Gonna get you so excited

Once I've tasted your milky way

I'm about to twinkle and touch your soul

Once I am touring to your black hole(baby uhh)

So don't trip i got a giant rocket

Climbing through just in your pocket??

We'll stick a flag on the Moon

First couple to ever make love on planet Neptune(uuhh)

 

I rest my case.

 

 

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It amazes me that he manages to come up with three metaphors and puns for anal sex in a song. Also, the fact that he refers to a woman's pussy as her "boo boo" is proof enough for me that he's a pedophile.

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