6/17: Dedicated Wedded Bliss
9:30 p.m.
• Yeah, too bad if these kids got killed by the cops you wouldn't be saying this "now's not the time for blame" shit.
Hundreds of mourners gathered Saturday to remember five children who died in a row house fire, while investigators tried to determine whether they were left alone or in the care of a baby sitter.
Five caskets—two white, two pink and one blue—were surrounded by stuffed animals and flowers at Mount Ararat Baptist Church. They held the bodies of Daekia Holyfield, 7; Cedano Holyfield, 4; Dezekiah Holyfield, 3; Azquel Rankin, 5; and Andre Rankin, 6.
The Rev. William H. Curtis said that despite the questions surrounding the children's deaths, now is not the time for blame.
"What does it matter? Five angels have died," Curtis said. "Who cares what happened and how it happened ... it is our children who died."
Here's my favorite part.
The church is not far from where officials say Tuesday's blaze began after children playing with matches set fire to furnishings in the living room on the second floor. The five children were found in an adjoining bedroom, dead from smoke inhalation and carbon monoxide poisoning. Two 8-year-old boys escaped uninjured.
Curtis said the deaths were a wake-up call to a black community that loses too many young children needlessly.
"You don't let five kids slip out of here and not think God is trying to tell you something," he said. "These angels are asking you to try a more excellent way."
The victims' mothers did not speak. But in a tribute included in the funeral program, Shakita Mangham, the Holyfields' mother, wrote, "When I look out the window at the rain, I know God has opened his gates of heaven for my children ... Just know that mommy loves her babies and that a soul never dies."
I think God was trying to tell you that you're a shitty mother and your kids are better up there with him than down there with you.
Police said they were told the children were left in the care of a 17- year-old baby sitter while their mothers went out for the night. Police, however, haven't located her and have said longtime residents told them they know of no one who fits the description given by one of the dead children's mothers.
Living about 30 miles from the area, this has gotten a good deal of coverage (I made a remark about this story last week), and, if the rumors are true, it sounds like the two mothers would lock their kids up while they would go to the nearby bar.
1:45 p.m.
• Dedicated to the recently hitched Smitty and SFA Jack. Not to each other, though. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Smitty lives for the cock.
So Friday my old lady sends the better half and I an anniversary gift: some money. Whatever. I’m not 10 anymore but you never look a gift check in the mouth, or at least until after it clears. Last night when I got home from work Mrs. kkk struck up the following conversation regarding said windfall.
Her: “You know what I was thinking we could do with that money? Since we weren’t expecting it, we could use it to buy a new door for the back porch.”
Me: “You know what I was thinking we could do with that money? Pay off credit-card debt.”
There was a moment of silence, then she responds with this: “Well, I don’t want to put the new screen door in the back until we replace that back door first.”
Here’s some backstory. While paying off the better half’s credit-card debt, we made an agreement that she could get two screen doors this summer to replace the shitty ones that came with the house when we bought it in 2004. Well, these new doors we recently bought aren’t screen doors, but whatever. They’re those secondary doors where when you open the main door your cats can look outside with no problems. Here's the one we got for the front entrance.
Side note: I would like to point out that the old front screen door did have a huge rip in it because Dessa (pictured bottom left) got out a few months ago and decided that she didn’t like it out there, ripped a hole in the screen, jumped in-between the two doors and cried until one of us realized she was no longer in the house. Back to my story.
Of course, the cost of these things (one for the front door, one for the back) was more than what Mrs. kkk said they were going to be. Big shock there. But here’s my favorite part. After making my remark up above, she then mentions that she now wants to replace the main back door before putting on the back screen door. When did we decide on this shit? Is that supposed to be some kind of threat that oh no we have a screen door paid for but won’t install it until we go out and buy another door? My response to her response to my first response to her first response.
“OK, then the screen door will stay in the garage.”
Yeah, I have no idea how she ended up with $20k in credit-card debt. The really sad thing is that we’ve almost finished paying off the aforementioned debt and now she’s thinking it’s time to go out and accrue more expenses.
Here’s another example of wedded bliss that took place early in the week on the way home from work. I’m sure you can figure out who is who in this conversation.
“What’s wrong with your mouth?”
“I cut my lip”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it – it’s stupid.”
“No, what happened?”
“I did something stupid and paid the price.”
“What was it?”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Come on, what was it.”
“I cut myself licking a noodle off my Campbell’s soup can during lunch at work today.”
“Why did you do that?”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“You know you’re not supposed to do that. You could get hurt doing that. That was stupid.”
“No shit.”
“Why would you do something about that?”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“I can’t believe you did something that stupid.”
“I said before I wasn’t thinking when I did it.”
“You not going to get any sympathy from me.”
“When was I asking for any?”
The rest of the conversation is a blur. All I remember is at some point she said, “why am I with you?” Later on I turned up the car radio and connected a few right crosses to her face. Then again, I think this isn’t so much “wedded bliss,” rather than it being “together with someone for 10 years” bliss.
“I do.” Ain’t those two little words a bitch? Happy matrimony, guys.
I justy noticed my USA Today insert that's in my Sunday paper has a cover story talking about "Marriage and Money." Oh this should be good.
This just in. Right as I'm typing, the better half just came in and said, "honey, I just hit myself in the head off the house." Oh this should be even better. DEVELOPING...
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