5:15 p.m.

• So let me get this right. I drive home from work. Now garbage pick up for me is Friday. Today is Friday. However, there are several holidays that, if they fall on a weekday, pushes back garbage collection back a day. One of these holidays is Independence Day. This means my garbage pick up is Saturday. This morning when driving to work, I noticed several houses on my street with their trash out. When I got back from work, the cans were there, but the garbage wasn’t. Hmmm. To solve this groovy mystery I called up the garbage company.

Me: Good afternoon, I was calling because I was wondering if there was a trash collection along 666 kkk Street?

Them: What day is your pick up?

Me: Today, but with this week featuring Independence Day, and this holiday listed on your card saying which holidays move back collection, I was double-checking.

Them: You collection will be tomorrow, that’s right.

Me: OK. The reason I called was that when I left for work several houses along my street had their trash out, and when I returned home the cans were still there but the trash was gone.

Them: That’s right. They left their garbage up to be collected.

Me: But you just said collection will be tomorrow.

Them: That’s right.

Me: Huh?

Them: We collect it both days. It’s easier that way.

Me: Uh, OK.

So in order to make it easier for the trash collectors, they have to drive two routes for two days to collect garbage from neighborhoods that are told not to put out their trash until a day later than normal? Well if it works for Waste Management, then it works for me. I always wondered how they dealt with holidays.

12:45 p.m.

• Whew. I'm glad Burger King is getting rid of those dangerous trans-fats. Now I can eat my triple whopper with cheese value meal without fear of it being bad for me.

Burger King said Friday it will use trans-fat-free cooking oil at all its U.S. restaurants by the end of next year, following in the footsteps of other leading fast-food restaurants.

 

The world's second largest hamburger chain said it was already using zero trans-fat oil in hundreds of its more than 7,100 U.S. restaurants nationwide.

 

Burger King is known for its flame-broiled burgers, but uses cooking oil for its french fries and most of its chicken products.

• Remember yesterday's entry when I said my trip to the zoo was blocked off by a parade? It wasn't.

Pittsburgh police were investigating a two-vehicle crash in East Liberty that left one man dead yesterday.

 

The accident occurred about 10:23 a.m. on Washington Boulevard south of Negley Run Road.

 

The medical examiner identified the victim as Shawn Jones, 32, of Monroeville. The cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head and chest and the manner of death was accidental.

 

Police said Mr. Jones was driving a Suzuki sport motorcycle south on Washington Boulevard when he lost control and traveled into the northbound lane. There, the motorcycle collided with a silver Chevrolet Impala heading north.

I guess I should feel bad and ponder my own existence in this crazy world, but I don't. Hey, you didn't have to hear the better half bitch about not being able to see the tiger cubs on the drive home.

• I wonder if you get an STD from this if you can claim workman's comp, or whatever they do over there.

A major condom brand said Friday it expected thousands of applicants for a new unpaid job on offer—condom tester.

 

Durex said 200 adult Australians—men and women—are wanted to test a range of its condoms.

 

While the successful applicants will not be paid, each will receive a pack of Durex sex products, a chance to win 1,000 Australian dollars ($857 U.S.), plus professional prestige, the company said in a statement.

 

"Who wouldn't want to have a chance with an actual authorized professional?" Durex marketing manager Sam White asked.

 

"Durex is expecting thousands of applicants," the statement said.

 

Hopefuls must explain in their applications why they would make "expert" condom testers.

 

How they test the condoms is not specified, but testers must provide honest feedback about how they find the products.

 

No deadline is set for evaluating a range of four condoms and other sex products.