7/10: Putting A Voodoo Hex On Fast Eddie
10 p.m.
• So lovecraft is talking about hippie songs he likes and shit over at his blog. For some reason this gave me the urge to pop in an oldie but goldie -- Body Count's first album. You know, the one with "Cop Killer." Actually, I never really cared for that song when there's much better content on this album. Take for example the genius of these lyrics.
Way down in New Orleans, yeah.I met this old lady,
she said she'd teach me 'bout Voodoo (Voodoo)
she said she knew about Voodoo (Voodoo)
she said she'd teach me 'bout the Voodoo
she said she knew about Voodoo (Voodoo)
She had an old doll, (Voodoo)
she had a long shiny needle (Voodoo)
she held the doll in the air
it looked kinda like me (Voodoo)
she took the needle,
stuck it in its eye!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
My eye, bitch!
Now I'm still in the room with this crazy bitch,
and she still had the doll.
She said I'll teach you 'bout the Voodoo, (Voodoo)
you wanna learn about Voodoo (Voodoo)
She said I'll teach you 'bout the Voodoo. (Voodoo)
she said she knew about Voodoo (Voodoo)
She held the doll in her hand (Voodoo)
she had some long shiny scissors,
she said some magic words (Voodoo)
the doll looked more and more like me
she held the doll in the air (Voodoo)
she took the scissors,
cut off all its fingers!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
My fingers, bitch!
Not quite the same as listening to the actual album, but it's more than what I was expecting from You Tube. I think. OK, I just heard the break between the first and second verses. Forget what I said in the first sentence. My ears, bitch! Now I'm actually watching the video. The hell?
9:45 p.m.
• Forget declining memory and reasoning abilities -- how about old people just get grumpier as time goes along? I should know.
A new psychology study at Washington University was no laughing matter: It found that older adults may have a harder time getting jokes because of an age-related decline in certain memory and reasoning abilities.
The research suggested that because older adults may have greater difficulty with cognitive flexibility, abstract reasoning and short- term memory, they also have greater difficulty with tests of humor comprehension.
Say, that reminds me. Why don't blacks want their kids marrying Mexicans? Because they don't want their grandchildren too lazy to steal. Who says I don't understand humor comprehension?
5:15 p.m.
• So I just saw my first movie trailer for that Underdog movie. And the sad thing is this will probably make money.
3 p.m.
• Yeah, I know I’m a loser. I don’t care.
So I made some notable changes to my teams in MVP 2005. Well, I didn’t do much with the Pirates, because, well, how can you tweak utter perfection? My A, AA and AAA teams did get some face-lifts. Single-A position players with much better stats than their AAA counterparts moved up while others moved down, and over the last few days I had some interesting contests.
MLB: Edged the Rockies 1-0 thanks to a solo home run. Thank God Colorado can’t hit left-handers in this game.
AA: Was down 7-0 by the second inning, even though I had one of my best starters pitching. To make matters worse, those bastards then switched from a southpaw to a right-handed pitcher, thus screwing up my lineup, which had a few players who couldn’t hit worth shit against righties. Thanks to a five-run ninth, I rallied and won 9-8. Because I called up several players, I needed a right fielder and signed one via free agency. This guy went 3-4 in this game with 4 RBI.
A: This team was a regular mash-fest, which is why I called up several players to AA and AAA teams. I had some trouble scoring early on, but I managed to tie this contest and we went into extra innings – eight of them to be exact. And the funny thing is, my worst relief pitcher threw five scoreless innings.
I’ll probably play my AAA team sometime this week. God only knows what’s going to happen with this bunch.
• I sure can’t wait to see how I got fucked over with this new budget deal.
After weeks of sharp rhetoric and days of frantic negotiations, both Democratic Gov. Ed Rendell and Republican legislators claimed victory with the deal announced Monday night.
Crap. That's never a good sign whenever both sides claim victory.
Rendell outlined progress on issues ranging from health care and transportation to energy and education. Republican lawmakers boasted that they had beaten back seven proposed tax and fee increases.
So Fast Eddie is probably going to spend more on stupid shit, and he’s not raising taxes … yet. That’s not a victory you Republican shitheads. You know what this reminds me of? Years ago a group of us were trick-or-treating, and these kids came up to one in our group and surrounded him demanding candy. Much like animals in the wild, we cut our losses with the weak link and moved on. A few houses later, we were approached by the kid we abandoned, and he said to us, “I showed them. They each wanted five candy from me and I only gave them three.” Yeah, you showed them.
The state budget was estimated at $27.37 billion, close to what Democrats had proposed, an increase of less than 4 percent of the previous year.
Good job Republicans. You state pols are just as bad as the Democrats. Then again, fuck the constituents. They deserve to get screwed. Oh, and listen to this furloughed worker.
"They should really try to compensate us for being off. They should try to give us something," Miriam McCottry, a clerk in the courts department at the state Department of Transportation, said Tuesday morning. "I'm a single parent and I have nothing to fall back on. So that was a pretty devastating time for me not knowing if I was going to have income."
You were off for a DAY! And I read in the local paper about someone bitching about this because many state workers live paycheck to paycheck. Well whose fucking fault is that?
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