KKK's Top 103 Posters

Number 16: Cerebus

I first met Cerebus a few years back, and he really enjoyed the debate which used to go on in the CE threads. On top of that, he actually knew what he was talking about. Hey, did you know he was a Palestinian Christian? Cerebus was part of the Conservative Brigade, but because he was from Connecticut, where RINOs graze like how the buffalo used to before whitey showed up, he was never given the exclusive VIP membership card. However, he really isn’t like many of the other pansy-ass RINOs in the New England region; he just doesn't care for the Pat Robertsons of the world, and you really can’t blame someone for that. I’m not exactly a Robertson fan, but if he gets enough people to the polls to vote for the same people I do, then he can say God shows his wrath to third-world countries that don’t believe in Christianity through tidal waves, earthquakes and the AIDS. Then again God didn’t create AIDS, the C.I.A. did to wipe out the inner-cities. However, like many government agencies, they fucked up and now homos can’t ride bareback. Thanks a lot, Reagan. You had to go ruin that, too. I don't think I mentioned this yet, but Cerebus is a Palestinian Christian. Sadly, like many people at TSM, he moved on to do stuff in the real world, such as make babies with his hot wife, teach and do other grown-up stuff that I’m still trying to stay away from because I’m only of shell of a true man like Cerebus, who doesn’t mind being responsible and willing to engage in the circle of life. Oh, yeah. I think I heard somewhere that he is a Palestinian Christian.

7:45 p.m.

• Now there's an arrest in a tortise torture case? Good God.

An arrest was made Thursday in the vicious attack on Bob, a 42-pound pet tortoise who was slashed and stabbed after being stolen from the home of an autistic boy.

 

Police said the attacker tried to cut Bob out of his shell. His hind legs were badly cut, a toe was cut off, his neck was slashed and his shell was punctured with a sharp object. The animal also was thrown against a wall, police said.

 

Jose "Tony" Mosqueda, 18, of Ventura, was booked at the county jail for investigation of cruelty to animals and grand theft...

 

...The 25-year-old African spurred tortoise belongs to Dorothy and Bill Sullivan and is a special friend to their 6-year-old autistic son, who rarely spoke to people but chattered to the animal.

 

The tortoise was snatched from their yard on July 7, brutalized and dumped in brush behind an apartment complex.

 

An anonymous caller told the family where to find Bob...

 

...The tortoise was being treated at Turtle Dreams, a Montecito rehabilitation center. He remained in guarded condition and was being fed through a tube in his neck.

 

"He's getting more relaxed and coming out of his shell" more often, said Jeanie Vaughan, the center's owner. "If he continues without any infection, I think he's going to be fine."

 

Dorothy Sullivan said Bob did an amazing thing when she visited the center earlier in the week.

 

"He took his first steps," she said. "He brought his head completely out of his shell ... and then he struggled to his feet."

 

The tortoise collapsed but then managed to take eight steps.

 

"When he finished, he had a tear in his eye ... as did the rest of us," Sullivan said. "It was an excellent, great sign."

 

Bob's plight made headlines across the country and prompted a flood of calls from people wanting to help. Sullivan said she had created a huge display of cards and letters, including one from schoolchildren who sold lemonade to raise money to help pay Bob's vet bills.

4:45 p.m.

• Yeah, we don't want any of those totalitarion groups in Germany exploiting vulnerable people.

Filming started Thursday on a movie starring Tom Cruise as the real-life mastermind behind a plot to kill Adolf Hitler, amid German grumbling about the high-profile Scientologist playing a national hero...

 

...German officials have baulked at the choice of Cruise to play Count Claus Schenk von Stauffenberg, who was executed by firing squad in 1944 after the failed assassination attempt.

 

They cite the actor's ties to the Church of Scientology, which is viewed here as a "totalitarian" group that exploits vulnerable people, as making him unfit to play a German martyr.

1:30 p.m.

• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). It’s not really a call, it’s an e-mail she just read. Someone wrote to say that she was driving down the road and saw a sign that read “Kids Come First Daycare.” Now daycare centers are like concentration camps on this show, so that’s why this e-mail was read. However, the reason I mention this is that there’s a daycare with the same name just down the road from where I live. Now the location of the e-mailer wasn’t said, and I’m sure there’s more than one business in this country with this name. However, Dr. Laura is in the Shittsburgh market. The real kicker to this is that there is a woman’s strip club right next to this daycare center near me.

Wait, I just got the caller of the day. Someone’s in love with some guy and had premarital sex with him. Uh oh. Here we go. “What you’re doing for free other women charge for.” “You’re putting prostitutes out of business.” OK, now that was funny. Why the hell would anyone call this show with a question dealing with out-of-wedlock sex? I lived in sin for six-and-a-half years and could just imagine the bitching I’d get on this show if I called with a similar question. Actually, I am curious about something. Mrs. kkk has a friend who was a bridesmaid at our wedding. Now there’s a chance that this chick could get married to this real piece of work. The better half has told her friend what she things of this guy. If her friend would end up marrying this guy, Mrs. kkk thinks that being a bridesmaid would be an endorsement of this holy union. However, if she would refuse to be a bridesmaid this would probably be the end of the friendship. Personally, I don’t think being a bridesmaid endorses the marriage; it’s just being there for a friend or family member. I could be wrong on this one, but then again I’m a guy and we don’t know shit about this stuff.

7:30 a.m.

• With yesterday's Vick and psycho-leaves-girl-to-gators stories making their rounds around the media, I didn't have the heart to tell the better half about the teens-light-kitten-on-fire tragedy. I figured she would find out about it soon enough. She did. From my work inbox this morning.

Am I the only one that thinks that those two teenaged bitches should be burned at the stake, Salem-style???

Oh this will be a fun ride home today. It's kinda funny, whenever we took in our two stray cats, each time the mother-in-law made a remark that Mrs. kkk is trying to save everything in this world. We're not trying to save the world. Just what comes up to our doorstep. And just as long as it has four legs and a tail. Fuck the human race.