8:45 p.m.

• Way to pick your battles there, son.

NAACP leaders urged public restraint Monday in judging Michael Vick before he has his day in court.

 

R.L. White, president of the Atlanta chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, said the Atlanta Falcons quarterback has been vilified by animal rights groups, talk radio and the news media and prematurely punished by his team and corporate sponsors.

I don't blame Vick's sponsors one bit. Every minute they stay with Vick they are losing money by appearing to be supporting the Falcons quarterback. And Google makes this sort of thing way too easy.

In a news conference early this morning, Atlanta NAACP President R.L. White charged that the Atlanta Falcons star quarterback's suspension and sponsor desertion amounted to premature punishment...

 

...And, while one can't deny the merits of avoiding yet another trial by media, neither can one deny the duplicitous nature of White's "premature judgment" words.

 

After all, wasn't it "premature judgment" that motivated the NAACP to launch their campaign to assure the trial and rape convictions of three Duke Lacrosse players in March of last year?

 

And while we're at it, just how did the organization's web page proclaiming no fewer than 82 Crimes and Torts committed by Duke Lacrosse Team Players on 3/13 and 3/14 as Reported in the press, mainly from the Three Players' Defense Attorneys help complete the legal process?

 

Yet, those charges - which smelled fishy right from the start and were ultimately revealed to be stinking lies -- were rooted entirely on the allegations of one person and the disbarable malfeasance of another.

• So here's number one in the celebs-die-in-threes game.

Tom Snyder, who pioneered the late-late network TV talk show with a personal yet abrasive style and his robust, trademark laugh, has died from complications associated with leukemia. He was 71.

During the '95 GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN he said some things on his cBS show that pissed me off, so ever since then I said "fuck him." Same goes for that left-wing twat Peter Gammons.

Here's number two.

Bill Walsh, the groundbreaking football coach who won three Super Bowls and perfected the ingenious schemes that became known as the West Coast offense during a Hall of Fame career with the San Francisco 49ers, has died. He was 75.

Peace out, dawg. Being from Shittsburgh, people from this area HATED the 49ers during the late 1980s because we knew they were going to catch up to our beloved Stiilers in Super Bowl wins. And you people thought my reasons for hating Gammons above were dumb.

So who will be number three?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~!

Chief Justice John Roberts suffered a seizure at his summer home in Maine on Monday, causing a fall that resulted in minor scrapes, Supreme Court spokeswoman Kathy Arberg said.

 

He will remain in a hospital in Maine overnight.

3 p.m.

• So I decided to try making microwave popcorn in the office today. Yeah, I think you all know what’s coming next.

Microwave popcorn is like an art. Ever the Jew, I try to get the most bang for the buck with the unpopped kernels. However, there is a fine line between popping perfection and burning shit up. That’s why it’s important to know your microwave. This was the first time I used my office microwave for such a task, and this time the machine won. As the popping slowed down, I thought I could Jew a few more pieces out of this single-serving bag. As I hit stop I had a sense of dread, and when I opened up the bag my worst fears became reality. Too long. Fuck.

Now most of the popcorn was just fine. However, it takes just a few to stink up an office. Screw the office, it takes just a few to stink up an entire floor. Well, it wasn’t that bad, but none of you were here, so if I said the sprinkler system was unleashed how you know? Well, you probably would because this computer wouldn’t be working. Anyway, I went next door to inform my co-worker that the mighty “popcorn experiment” had failed and won’t be tried out again. Such a shame, really, but oh well. At least I haven’t burnt my soup … yet.

Speaking of burning, back in ’98 I worked at a kitchen-stuff store for a few weeks while it was going out of business. One afternoon I put something in the break-room microwave. I can’t remember what it was, but I do know that I severely underestimated the power of this heating beast and burnt the food all to shit. Sonofabitch. To make matters worse, I stunk up the break room. My bad. I didn’t step away from my mess, but at the same time there were way too many co-workers that took this to heart. I even got told that I “RUINED” a person’s entire day. Jesus Christ. I admitted I fucked up, and if someone would have said, “good going dumbshit,” I would have stretched out my arms and told them to keep the insults coming. But “ruining” someone’s day because of it? I think that says more about the other person than it does me.

• A note to TSM’s esteemed Mr. Keiper. Put this in your pro-invasion pipe and smoke it. Go Cobb County. Bossman would be proud.

Maria Rivera sits in the Cobb County Jail, facing deportation after a traffic stop.

 

If the Mableton mother of three, who is here illegally from Mexico, had been pulled over in any other county in Georgia, she likely would have bailed out and gone on with her life.

 

But Cobb County's jail is at the forefront of local enforcement of immigration laws, going a step further than many states and further than a new Georgia law requires…

 

…A new state law effective July 1 requires jailers statewide to determine the legal status of inmates charged with felonies or DUI and report illegal immigrants to federal immigration officials, but they can leave it at that.