8 p.m.

• You know what else is pissing me off? With all this rain my area has been getting, the lawn has grown by leaps and bounds. Mother fucker, and I just mowed the lawn not too long ago. Well, it could be worse. I heard on the radio today that some place in Shittsburgh just had the roads paved but no drains installed. This means the plethora of H2O Mother Nature has been giving us has been making its way into some houses. One yins-er said he can’t live in this neighborhood due to all the flooding that’s taken place over the past few months. That’s gotta suck, although I can think of a few other reasons to get the hell out of the city.

7:45 p.m.

• Ugh. So today the personal shopping scanner thingys were down at the grocery store. What does this mean? I had to have a cashier ring up the groceries. Fuck. Not only were the check-out lines hella long, but I was in front of some fat bitch who squirted out a kid and was paying for her groceries via WIC. What does the rapper Willie D have to say about this sort of thing?

Dee's about to cold get funky

 

On you welfare bitches around the country

Damn straight, dawg. Here I am going through my coupons trying to make every cent count and this person in front of me spread her legs a year ago and now I have to pay for her groceries, too. “But it’s for her baby, kkk.” N*gga, I’m a Republican. Make the kid get a job. Anyway, when it was my turn, I got a fucking attitude because the cashier had to do something funky with my advantage card. I was told by the personal scanner chick that the cashier had to override my shopper card thing, and when I told the casher this, you would have thought I had asked her to take my groceries out to the car, go to my house and cook the food for me. Then there was the 90-year-old bagger with the hump who put my four bags of instant mashed potatoes in THREE DIFFERENT BAGS. Fuck, I wish I could have bagged my groceries as I went, which is what you do with the personal shopper scanning thingy. Then the cashier accuses me of not buying two Butterball turkey bacon packages, thus making my $1 off coupon invalid. Bitch, don’t even think you’re going to Jew me out of my dollar off – after all, I just spent $50+ dollars on the customer before me for Similac and other shit. Because I was also bagging my groceries and was sorting the products by bag, I knew that the turkey bacon was with the buy-one-get-one-free chicken breasts (the turkey bacon was also on sale, for those keeping score at home). I whipped out my Butterballs and shoved them in her face. Well, not really, but you get the point. I’m a coupon-clipping pro, ho. Don’t pick this battle because you’re going to lose. Anyway, after all that shit it was time to go home. God I miss you personal shopper scanning thing. Please be all better when I come back next Tuesday, same bat time, same bat channel.

7 a.m.

• So whenever the better half and I go to sleep, the cats have been joining us on the bed as of late. Normally it was just Dessa who slept with us, but during the past few weeks our two males have also joined us, much to their sister's chagrin. Anyway, last night at around 1 a.m. I rolled over on Max's tail. He let out a yelp, which caused JJ to pounce on him -- right on top of me. After a few seconds of wrestling and screaming (all on top of my chest) they took off down the hall. This in turn caused Dessa to chase after them, and after about 20 more seconds of screaming and hissing, it all went silent. At one o'clock in the fucking morning. Oh this is going to be such a long-ass day.