8/22: Hello Students, Goodbye Easy Drive
6:30 p.m.
• So I thought the worst was over today for my afternoon commute. I pick up Mrs. kkk in Shittsburgh, and this week all the pseudo-hippie college students come back to the big city. Traffic sucks for this week, but it wasn’t all that bad. Until today. Forty fucking minutes to move a mile or two from the Parkway to my exit. There was one positive though. Despite the several signs telling “thru traffic” to stay away from the right-hand lane, which was where the back up was occurring, there were people who stayed in the lane thinking there was congestion on the Parkway’s three lanes. It’s funny to see the faces on these motorists and the looks of disgust they give when they figure out that they spent the last 10 minutes idling for no reason because the right lane is full of college students trying to get off the Parkway. Then there are the bitches who try to cut in line. No dice, pal. That’s always fun to do, too. I’m laid-back when letting people in, but not in these instances. It’s assholes like these people which add 10 minutes to my 30-minute wait in the car. Fuck that. Thank God I'm taking Friday off so I only have to put up with this shit for one more day this week.
• Huh, Goldblum grew up around here. That's all I got.
Jeff Goldblum and his hometown of Pittsburgh, whether it likes it or not, have combined to create a surprising summer delight.
"Pittsburgh" is a witty variation on a Christopher Guest mockumentary that swirls together fiction, reality and an unlikely cast including Goldblum, Ed Begley Jr., Illeana Douglas, Moby, Conan O'Brien and unsuspecting Pittsburghers, all as themselves.
Ha.
What could have been a raging exercise in ego or Pittsburgh-bashing turns out to be a winning combination of Goldblum's sly, offbeat charm and deft improv as the celebrities involved neatly skewer themselves. The civilians escape unscathed.
Is this a movie or something? I only skimmed through; the fact the article said it was going to be on Starz Cinema -- the hippie channel -- was all I needed to know. That and Starz Cinema is showing that movie thing about the Dixie Terrorists. Starz also has a "black" channel where all it shows is "Glory Road."
• Forget the fact that millions upon millions of tax money was spent on other things than bridge repairs -- it was PIGEON SHIT that did the structure in.
Pounded and strained by heavy traffic and weakened by missing bolts and cracking steel, the failed Interstate 35W bridge over the Mississippi River also faced a less obvious enemy: pigeons.
Inspectors began documenting the buildup of pigeon dung on the span near downtown Minneapolis two decades ago. Experts say the corrosive guano deposited all over the span's framework helped the steel beams rust faster.
Although investigators have yet to identify the cause of the bridge's Aug. 1 collapse, which killed at least 13 people and injured about 100, the pigeon problem is one of many factors that dogged the structure.
"There is a coating of pigeon dung on steel with nest and heavy buildup on the inside hollow box sections," inspectors wrote in a report.
• I heard this on "Around the Horn" today.
Odell Thurman appeared before a judge this morning for a hearing about his probation violation.
That hearing was continued but the judge in the case, John Burlew, made a statement concerning the NFL and its beer advertisements.
The suspended player missed an appointment with a probation officer in connection with his arrest last year on charges of drunk driving.
Officials say Thurman failed to show up for the meeting just days before he learned the NFL would not reinstate him this season.
In court today, Judge Burlew told Thurman, "It upsets me more than anything else and, primarily with your employer, the National Football League. The allegations are that you had an illegal substance, alcohol, in your body. A substance they advertise and take money from, millions of dollars a year. They're hypocrites. If they are really interested in pursuing this issue, they'd give everybody who went to that stadium and comes out of it a breathalizer, but they won't do it because they want the money."
OMG the NFL makes money off of beer ads/sales. So fucking what? I understand the point about fans getting drunk at games, but it has been years since I've attended a pro football game so I don't know if there is a "cut off" point where booze sales cease.
• And the point of this would be what?
The Tyrannosaurus rex would have been able to outrun soccer star David Beckham, according to research published Wednesday by the Royal Society scientific academy.
I would put money on the T-Rex every time. And not only do you need to outrun the Tyrannosaurus, but you would have to do so enough to be out of chomping distance.
3 p.m.
• So this morning when my lunch cooler fell on the ground, splitting one of the yogurt cups inside, I said “fuck.” When my cell phone hit the road as I went to deal with said cooler (all while in the rain) I said “s’gonna be a bad day, tater.” I was right. I discovered this morning that the publication I produce was going to have an extra 600+ readers. After some digging, I discovered this was due to a computer error regarding some sort of update in our customer database that I was never made aware of. Oh was this a fun morning. At least when I went to explain the problem to the powers-that-be, there was nothing they could bitch about considering it was their fault we’ll be paying several hundred dollars more for this mailing than we should.
• N*gga plz.
Michael Vick should be allowed to return to the NFL, preferably the Atlanta Falcons, after serving his sentence for his role in a dogfighting operation.
"As a society, we should aid in his rehabilitation and welcome a new Michael Vick back into the community without a permanent loss of his career in football," said R.L. White, president of the NAACP's Atlanta chapter. "We further ask the NFL, Falcons, and the sponsors not to permanently ban Mr. Vick from his ability to bring hours of enjoyment to fans all over this country."
• Remember that story a while back about these three teens getting robbed and killed in Newark, N.J. – yeah, I know, which crime; it’s Newark, after all. Turns out one of killers is an invader.
By contrast, there's been a succession of prominent stories with one common feature that the very same pundits, politicians and lobby groups have a curious reluctance to go anywhere near. In a New York Times report headlined "Sorrow And Anger As Newark Buries Slain Youth," the limpidly tasteful Times prose prioritized "sorrow" over "anger," and offered only the following reference to the perpetrators: "The authorities have said robbery appeared to be the motive. Three suspects – two 15-year-olds and a 28-year-old construction worker from Peru – have been arrested."
So, this Peruvian guy was here on a green card? Or did he apply for a temporary construction-work visa from the U.S. Embassy in Lima?
Not exactly. Jose Carranza is an "undocumented" immigrant. His criminal career did not begin with the triple murder he's alleged to have committed, nor with the barroom assault from earlier this year, nor with the 31 counts of aggravated sexual assault relating to the rape of a 5-year-old child, for which Mr. Carranza had been released on bail. (His $50,000 bail on the assault charge and $150,000 bail on the child-rape charges have now been revoked.) No, Mr. Carranza's criminal career in the United States began when he decided to live in this country unlawfully.
I guess he needed some quick money in-between the 20 jobs he works. They’re here in this country for jobs, after all.
2 Comments
Recommended Comments