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8/23: Wild Pets Are Alien To Some People

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kkktookmybabyaway

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8:30 p.m.

 

• Get over it animal-rights people. It's domesticated. It's not a tiger. Don't try to rehab it into its "natural habitat." Just let it do its thing on someone's property that's willing to adopt the animal.

 

A friendly young antelope found cavorting with a dog along a walking path was probably picked up illegally in Wyoming and may be too tame to return to the wild, wildlife authorities say. A family believed to have brought the animal to Colorado could face charges that carry fines and jail time, said Larry Rogstad, a district officer for the state Division of Wildlife.

 

The 3-month-old, 15-pound buck was spotted Wednesday morning, running and playing with a neighborhood dog named Skeeter along on the Poudre River trail, a path that runs through Greeley and the nearby town of Windsor.

 

"It's just the craziest thing I've ever seen," said Ronda Underwood. "We were just riding along the trail and saw this antelope playing with a dog."

 

She said the antelope came up to her, nuzzled its head and neck along her leg and seemed almost to beg to be petted.

 

Rogstad was summoned for fear that the antelope would be attacked by the numerous coyotes in the area. The animal, dubbed "Poudre" by passers-by, was taken to a wildlife refuge where handlers will try to get it ready to return to its natural habitat.

 

Rogstad said that may not work.

 

"It is totally imprinted now," he said. "The animal actually thinks he's a human."

 

Wait a second, JAIL TIME? My crack-whore sister-in-law has done much worse in her life than take an antelope home with her and stays out of the big house. Hell, my brother-in-law one time told some cops looking for the crack-whore that he would take them to her apartment so they could haul her off in cuffs. No deal.

 

8:15 p.m.

 

• So I watched “Alien” for the first time in years. Was better the third time around but I still like the sequel better. Hudson is one of my favorite movie characters, and if I were ever to go out like he did I’d want to also be busting out curses with every other word. However, “Alien” still pisses me off in the scene when the black guy sacrifices his life while the chick just sits there and screams. Bitch, run.

 

• After “Alien,” I tuned into the hippie IFC channel and saw the Henry Rollins show. After hearing his guest, Gore Vidal, talk for 30 seconds about how Republicans stole the ’04 election in Ohio, I laughed and changed the channel.

 

• I’m getting a rise out of those “viva Viagra” ads, but it has nothing to do with my junk. Who comes up with these ideas?

 

• You know, there’s some things that I just don’t want to know about.

 

A study from a U.S. university shows the majority of older Americans continue to maintain active sex lives.

 

University of Chicago researchers found 73 percent of Americans between the ages 57 and 64 said they were sexually active. Between the ages 75 to 85, that number drops to 26 percent.

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Tony Kornheiser had a great line today about how he's responsible for at least two of them. Wilbon said he's not that old and Tony responded "no, but she was."

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