8:15 p.m.

• OK, I've officially given up on the ESPN Monday Night Football experiment. I gave it time. After all, it takes a while for an announcing crew to mesh, but enough is enough. The refs threw a flag for too many men on the field, then recanted. Mike Tirico goes, “What is this, the Florida election?” LOLSTEELERS34BROWNS7~! Tony then brings the hilarity by saying something like, “Well, there were hanging chads in Florida. We have CHAD JOHNSON~!” Jesus Christ. I admit it. I liked ESPN’s Sunday night crew of Patrick, MacGuire and Theismann and McGuire. Sure there were some faults – Patrick can’t find anything wrong with anyone, Paul was Paul, and Joe would yell at players during the preseason – but that was way better than listening to this shit. And guy's, ESPN Monday Night Football ain't the same as ABC Monday Night Football. Give it up already. Please. For the children.

6:15 p.m.

• I didn't watch Britney's performance, but I guess she was doing things in outfits that she shouldn't have been doing.

The consensus is clear: Britney Spears performed like she was sloshing blindfolded through mud at MTV's Video Music Awards. No one disputes that the troubled pop princess royally mangled her much-heralded comeback.

 

But what about the nastiest comments of all—those about her body? "Lard and Clear," read Monday's headline in the New York Post. "The bulging belly she was flaunting was SO not hot," wrote E! Online. And so on.

 

Was it fair? Did Spears, lest we forget a mother of two, deserve to be held up against the standard of her once fantastically toned abs, sculpted by sessions of 1,000 tummy crunches? Or was she asking for it by choosing that unforgiving black-sequined bikini?

If this were an average chick out on the street I would have no problem thinking she's good-looking. However, the average chick isn't parading out in a skimpy outfit in front of millions of viewers and crtics.

3 p.m.

• So after watching the first week of NFL action, all I can say is wow. I am so on the nuts of NBC’s “Football Night in America.” I’ve said in the past I’m a Bob Costas fan, and the addition of Keith Olbermann is a huge plus. Yes, I said Keith Olbermann. Sure the guy should be hung for treason, and I’m certain I’ll be calling him a commie by Week 4, but I always liked him on ESPN. Just because I don’t like a person’s politics that doesn’t mean I have to hate everything he does. Also, I know John Madden is past his prime, but he’ll be retiring soon enough. I also like Al Michaels. If there is anything I would like to see “improved” it is this: Get a defensive-minded person to speak alongside Tiki Barber and Chris Collinsworth (sorry Bus), and get a better sideline reporter. I’ve made it long known that I don’t like female sideline reporters. Sorry. Too bad. Tony Siragusa and, let’s say, Deion Sanders, would complete my “dream” announcing team, but now I’m just nitpicking. Besides, if Tony joined NBC then he wouldn’t be on that Fox team with Dick Stockton and Daryl Johnson.

• During a “holiday week,” my trash collection gets moved back one day, meaning my garbage gets picked up on Saturday this past week. Sadly, no garbagemen drove past my residence. None on Sunday, either. When I saw my neighbors’ trash cans were also untouched, I gave my refuse collector a call. Problem was, there’s nobody in the office during weekends. To make matters worse, the electronic message box was also filled. Looks like someone screwed up. I called them this morning and I guess there was a problem of some sorts. The representative said our route is getting collected today. I said to him before hanging up that I’ve lived at this address for three years and this is the first time such an incident has occurred, so keep up the good work. I figured this poor guy was getting bitched at by enough angry customers. Besides, one missed collection in 150 weeks is a pretty good track record. God bless the garbage collectors.