9:30 p.m.

• There are times when you read something and another thought from long ago pops up. That happened with a recent Drudge headline. When I saw this:

LUST FOR SPEAKER: Whoopi Goldberg Suggests Three-Way Sex with Pelosi, Husband on 'VIEW'...

I thought back to an old Willie D song with the following verse:

I ain't had no pussy all goddamn day

My dick is achin for some play

I gotta wear a jockstrap, y'all

Cause my dick keeps bustin out my goddamn drawers

I need some pussy this muthafuckin minute

Show me some pussy and I'ma go up in it

I'm so damn horny tonight for smash

That I'd fuck Whoopie Goldberg's ugly ass

I need some pussy

Weird.

7:30 p.m.

• So I was reading Jack's blog and I remembered that the MLB playoffs are coming up. Seeing how I batted a perfect 1.000 last year (not getting a single matchup correct in the first round), I might as well do this again. Because I don't want anyone accusing me of copying Mr. SFA, I stopped reading his entry and decided to do my picks before continuing Notes From Cubicle 348J3-29$43*903=284A9@0sP. Let's see:

NLDS:

Cubs v. Diamondbacks

Fuck, I dunno. I'm kinda rooting for the Cubs just so they can win without Racist Dusty. I'm sure Lou will play a lot of white guys when the weather turns cold. However, I totally screwed up my pre-season prediction of the D-backs, so I'll go with them. On second thought, I want to talk about Steve Bartman later on. How's that you stat freaks? D-backs in 4 Cubs in 5.

Rockies v. Phillies

Both teams played good, and fuck Philadelphia for screwing up my contest with Al Keiper. I might as well jinx these faggots and pick them to move on. Phillies in 3.

NLCS:

Cubs v. Phillies

Great. Two liberal towns. I don't know much about the Daly machine, and Philly gave me Fast Eddie. Kiss my ass Phillies. I heard Chicago is talking about jacking the sales tax up to the highest in the country, but I don't live there so what do I care? Besides, you live in a blue state, you deserve what you get. Wait, I live in Pennsylvania. Sonofabitch. Cubs in 7.

ALDS:

Angels v. Sox

I actually like the Angels, but I heard that roided-up Gary Jr. is hurt. For shame. Hey, I'm actually making a guess based on baseball news. Sox in 3.

Yankees v. Indians

Cleveland. Pfft. Come on A-Rod, hit the goddamn ball in the postseason. I'm one of your biggest supporters, so don't punk out on me. Hell, Barry Bonds played solid when the Giants went to the Big Show earlier this decade. You can do it, too. I'm sure the Indians are the better team, but the East Coast Bias will make sure we get Yanks vs. Sox Part 3498209. Yankees in 4.

ALCS:

New York Yankees v. Boston Red Sox.

I want the Yanks to win just because they get branded with that evil empire shit. Fuck that. George S. wants to win, so let the man spend his money. Hell, if the Pirates got a TV deal like the Yankees have, those Jews will just pocket all the money anyway. I would have went for the Sox to win, but since they broke their hex a few years ago, that would be no fun to pick. I want the Yankees to move on, but if I pick them that would spell certain doom. Then again, I picked them in the first round so they're probably fucked already. No matter. Sox in 6.

WORLD SERIES:

Cubs v. Sox

Just to give the middle finger to Racist Dusty and to let Steve Bartman off the hook, I'll go with the Cubs. Now I get joking around with the "die Bartman" jokes, but if there are any Cubs fans legit mad, then you losers deserve a team that hasn't won shit for God knows how long. The only good thing to come out of this Bartman thing was when some Howard Stern caller got on SportsCenter and punked out the network. Cubs in 6.

Hey, Jack and I picked the same team to win it all. I bet our reasons why are similar, too.

4:30 p.m.

• You know you could just move up there. Yeah, I know, political statement and all.

It's not your typical posting of someone looking for a date. Granted, Jeanne Sather is looking for love and a best friend, according to this posting on her blog, assertivepatient.com. But what she was suggesting on the post was that she would like to marry a Canadian man so she could gain access to that country's publicly funded health care system.

 

"The profile was meant to be funny and a political statement," Sather, 52, said one morning at a bookstore coffee shop near her Ravenna home. "Now it's taken a life of its own."

 

Sather was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998 and underwent a mastectomy. One year later, doctors found another cancerous lump. In 2001, the cancer spread to her bones, and she has been receiving continuous chemotherapy ever since. She also was diagnosed with melanoma earlier this year.

 

She estimates that more than half of what she receives monthly in disability and child support goes toward her $800-a-month health insurance premium, and is still only a portion of what it costs to treat her disease. She said treating her cancer, which has now spread to her bones, is about $300,000 a year. She said she pays more than $20,000 of that out-of-pocket.

I've seen some of the women up in Canada. She's got her work cut out for her. Please note that's a compliment for the femmes north of the border.

7 a.m.

• While Smues is talking about technological gizmos to improve his job, let me tell you one gadget that I need on my job: fingers. Fingers to stuff envelopes. Yes, instead of investing in a stuffing machine or outsourcing the labor, every three months my employers give us a big ol’ stack of envelopes to stuff. And of course even though I know these stuffings are coming, I never get told of them until after there’s a stack under my in-box. Why am I talking about this now? Because today was supposed to be an envelope-stuffing day. That is until I discovered THE ENVELOPES WE USE TO STUFF OUR FINANCIAL STATEMENTS IN ARE OUT OF STOCK! Then again, it's possible the person who has to order the envelopes wasn't told of this quarter's great envelope stuffing drive. Once again, I repeat: How does this place manage to stay in business? Then