Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 3/24/97, from Rockford, Illinois.
The Angels lost today. GOOD.
A flashback to Wrestlemania 13 starts things off, where The Undertaker pinned Sycho Sid in one of the worst WWF main events I've ever seen. One of these days, I'll review it. Have I mentioned I love the entrance to Raw, with the warehouse and that cool song?
The Three Stooges say that the number one contender for the World Wrestling Federation Title is...MANKIND! He and The Undertaker do battle at IYH: Revenge of the Taker, and that can be seen on the 2nd part of the Tombstone DVD that's currently posted on WWE On Demand. I'm still tinkering with my review format, so it'll look different for the majority. It'll be somewhat similar to my last review.
The first match is for the WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP, and it's the BRITISH BULLDOG and OWEN HART vs. The Headbangers. The Champions are in caps.
A bit of background on this one, the breakup of Owen and Davey Boy has been teased for a while, and the Headbangers won an 4 way Elimination Tag Team match at Wrestlemania last night to get this title shot.
Owen does his reverse sequence to start things off with Mosh, you know, the opponent armbar, then Owen does his roll-throughs and front flip to change the tide. He reels off an armdrag (I am so fucking sick of this move), and a dragon screw(!) on Mosh. The Headbangers double team Owen, and we wind up with Bulldog and Thrasher in the ring. Bulldog with scoop slam, then a neat double team as he tags Owen and military presses Owen onto Thrasher for a 2 count. RAW goes to a split-screen format, as LOD prepare to face the champs at Revenge of the Taker. Ok, then. Mosh hits the post after a failed charge to the corner, and Bulldog comes back in with a spinebuster. A nice delayed suplex to Thrasher by the Bulldog, and Bulldog accidentally knocks Owen off the apron after being ran into by Thrasher. Owen's pissed and tells Bulldog, "see ya later, do it yourself." And we have a commercial break.
We're back ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW (/vince), and the Headbangers hit a sick combination move on Bulldog that looks somewhat like the Death Sentence of AMW fame. Headbangers with some more double-team moves and this time they really tease the Owen/Bulldog breakup, as Owen won't tag in. Meanwhile, Mosh bigsplashes Bulldog for a 2 count. He goes to whip Bulldog into the ropes, and Bulldog hits a sunset flip on the way back for a 1 count. The Headbangers try a doubleteam, but they both get DDT'd by Bulldog. Hot tag to Owen as he barely sticks his hand out there, and he's a HOUSE OF FIRE, with leg lariats and an overhead belly-to-belly for the opposition. He then hits a backbreaker and quickly tags Davey Boy back in, with Davey Boy having no time to rest. He hits a snap powerslam for two (not his finisher) and gets Owen back in there while he's unawares. Some variation from the norm by Owen, that's a gutwrench suplex and a top rope dropkick for Thrasher, and it's SHARPSHOOTER TIME in Rockford. The hold is broken up by Mosh, and Davey comes in and hits his finish, the POWERSLAM. He tries to drag Owen over for the cover, but Owen's having none of that. He's pissed, and wants to know why Bulldog's hands are on him. Bulldog pushes the ref at 9:31 (cut for commercials), and he goes to war with Owen. Owen wants the European Championship, and Bulldog says sure. Anytime, anywhere, but Owen only gets one shot. The match was **1/4.
Mankind's in the boiler room, and the geniuses with the WWF stuck a camera in there to find out why. Well, Mankind is pissed that Paul Bearer's not with him. He wants his Uncle Paul back.
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We're back from the break, and Bart Gunn's in the ring. He faces off against Hunter Hearst Helmsley, who's accompanied by this strongman named Chyna. Bret Hart's on the Titantron and wants his interview time. Where's my time Vince, where's my time. Everyone's gonna get a piece of Bret's mind. Helmsley freakin' carries Gunn through the first 5 minutes, making the match look decent. Gunn is about to try a bulldog on HHH (fuck it, it's easier, and it's what he is. So I'll call him that.) and Chyna pulls the rope down, dumping Gunn to the outside. Chyna bodyslams him on the outside and rams him into the steel post. HHH pulls Gunn back in and hits the Pedigree at 7:15. *1/2, all for HHH. By the way, next week, it's Goldust v. Hunter Hearst Helmsley, no Marlena at ringside and no Chyna at ringside.
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We're back, and there's a lucha match that I'm not going to review, because the shitty commentary guys did nothing during the entire match to distinguish the wrestlers from each other. They all look like Power Rangers except for one, who looks like a member of KISS. Anyway, on one team we have, Venum, Super Nova, & Discovery, and on the other we have Hysteria, Abismo Negro, & Maniaco. Bret's still pissed that he hasn't had time to talk yet. The Green Ranger is the best of these luchadors, he hits some great looking moves, but the Yellow Ranger is the worst. He blows balls...and spots. He blows two spots terribly, and the Blue Ranger finishes at 4:10. Apparently the Blue Ranger is on the first team, so sayeth thehistoryofwwe.com. *, pointless.
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An interview with both Rocky Johnson and Rocky Maivia airs, and it was shot earlier in this very building, as it was empty. Nothing stood out.
Honky Tonk Man's on his way to the ring for guest commentary, and the match is Flash Funk vs. The Brooklyn Brawler. Flash Funk's ring entrance is WAY TOO LONG, I didn't time it but I'll bet it's longer than this match. As one of the participants names would note, they brawl to start and Funk hits a rana. He grabs onto Brawler and hits a half-nelson back suplex, but catches knees on a standing moonsault attempt. Brawler throws Funk into the air for a flapjack, and for some reason, Funk throws Brawler to the outside. THAT reason, just so happens to be a plancha. Back inside for a crossbody by Funk for a 2 count, another back suplex, and the 450 splash finishes at 3:07. Yeah, the entrance was longer than the match.
Shamrock's on the Titantron to explain why he stopped the I Quit Match at WM 13, and we go to break afterward. He gives little insight.
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We're back with the start of Warzone, and Bret's finally going to get his interview time. To be kind, the reception is lukewarm as opposed to dead, which is what this crowd really is.
Bret apologizes for his actions in the past few weeks, but he damn sure isn't apologizing to the Americans in the crowd. He hates Shawn Michaels, and says that Shawn poses for gay magazines. I like HBK for some reason and no, it ain't cause I'm gay, but it wouldn't surprise me if he really did pose for a gay magazine. Bret's going to clean up the WWF. With middle fingers and vulgarity the likes of which he displays in this promo. He makes fun of Shawn's lost smile and haven't we all, and follows that up with all to oft-used, "you Americans can kiss my ass." Like I haven't heard that before. Everyone screws Bret (ugh), so HBK comes out and gives us a little business exposure as he mentions how hard it is to get the title belt away from Bret Hart. He puts over Stone Cold Steve Austin, says that the fans can do what they want, and at the same time, Shawn wants to fight Bret. Bret tells Shawn he better walk to the back and get the hell out of his face. That line was so brilliantly delivered it could almost be believed to be real. Shawn says that Bret must be you-know-what, cause how else would he know if Shawn posed nude in magazines. Now they fight, and Bret ringpost Figure-Four leglocks him to cement his heel turn. Sid comes out for some reason and chases Bret to the back. Ooooook.
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But Bret really didn't stay in the back for very long, as he makes his way out to the commentary table as an unwanted guest for the match between the Intercontinental Champion, Rocky Miavia, and Al Snow Leif Cassidy. The bout is not for the Intercontinental Championship. Snow misses a frog splash when they cut back to the ring that would have missed even if Rocky didn't roll. Al is so unsatisfied with his job that at this point, he really doesn't give a shit. Belly-to-belly by Rocky gets 2, and then his rollover DDT and crossbody from the top finish the bout, as the Intercontinental Champ picks up the victory. And he is not over, at all. In fact, this crowd is dead, and has been all show. DUD for the match.
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The last match of the show is Ahmed Johnson vs Savio Vega, the Nation of Domination made their way to the arena, but they're staying on the entrance ramp, because Ahmed brought his Jim Duggan endorsed 2x4. Faarooq's "hospitalized", so he's not there. Crush is the defacto leader. Savio works him over with rights, left, and spinning heel kicks. Ahmed back-bumps off a chop, which shows you that he's ready to work tonight. This is getting the full recap treatment, as it's has some time behind it and it's the main event. Ahmed comes back with an atomic drop, and they dump to the outside after an Ahmed clothesline puts them over the top rope.
Commercial break.
We're back, and Ahmed's in the midst of delivering a delayed vertical suplex. Ahmed goes up to the top and somersaults onto Savio Vega, certainly "Holy Shit" worthy if you ask me, but the crowd makes no noise. Goodness. Afterward, he misses an elbow drop, so Savio regains control with a superkick. Savio goes to the sleeper and they rest, FF 25 seconds and Ahmed starts a comeback. Uranage (which becomes Rock Bottom) by Ahmed, then a shitty spinebuster and the Nation's on their way down to the ring. Ahmed goes for the Pearl River Plunge, instead of Savio taking it, Crush pulls him out and that's DQ worthy at 6:09, cut. Ahmed Johnson gets the victory. Ahmed grabs his 2x4 and the Nation backs off. Ahmed then challenges the Nation to a "if I beat one of you, you leave the WW[bleep] forever," match. The Nation no-sells his proposal, and then walks to the back. The match was *1/2, Johnson wanted to work tonight and did his best. His best ain't that good, but whatever.
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Paul Bearer's standing by backstage as the show returns from commercial break, and he wants to talk with someone, but he doesn't say who that is in particular. The Undertaker comes to the ring with the Championship he won the night before at Wrestlemania 13, and cuts a terrible promo. He's not good with the long interview format, but he says one good thing that stands out. The WWF is in for dark days. Yeah, no shit. They were in for dark days long before you got the belt, and they will be for your whole title reign. I like UT, but he's not saying anything the smark community doesn't know 10 years later. Which is why I found it interesting. Uncle Paul comes to the ring and Mankind appears on the Titantron. Mankind needs Paul and this show comes to an abrupt end. No forewarning, just the copyrights and that's it. Weird. I think they ran over the alloted time and couldn't get an overrun, so the show came to an abrupt halt as they were about to get to the meat of the promo.
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I'm not entirely interested in RAW, as the WWF is clearly the worse of the two big federations at this time. I usually enjoy Nitro the most. This certainly dragged, but the Bret promo was strong once Shawn came out, and RAW started strong with the opener for the Tag Team Titles. The last match was passable, but the crowd's lack of enthusiasm for everything besides the opening fireworks was terrible. I have no idea why Rocky had a title at this time. He's useless. I know what they're setting things up for, but getting there wasn't exactly setting the world on fire.
Rating: Decent.
I'm going to review Nitro tomorrow, and comments are most definitely welcome. I already watched it and took notes, but I won't spill the beans, no I won't.