Review: Undertaker DVD, Part 4.
Now, the DVD set moves into the heart of the Attitude Era. I don't mind that, as it's a time period I enjoy. Most people say that a person's favorite wrestling period is the one they grew up on. I don't necessarily disagree, even though late-80's NWA is my favorite, this is right behind. I don't give a damn how many people look back and think it sucks. If you disagree, comment and we can discuss it.
And since the Kings won, I'm doing this tonight. Otherwise, I wouldn't work on it until tomorrow.
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From IYH: Unforgiven in 1998, we have The Undertaker v. Kane w/Paul Bearer in an Inferno Match.
Prematch: This is the end of the UT/Kane feud until they come full-circle with partners they each don't trust, and then they decide to team up themselves. Rinse and repeat about 10 times, and you have Kane's career. The inferno visuals are cool, they kept the flame low so everyone could see.
Blow-by-blow: They trade punches (and I had the feeling I'd be saying that a lot...), until UT avalanches Kane in the corner. Kane's in this phase where he sells nothing, from nobody, so that's what he does. It's even worse than when Taker does it. UT goes up for OLD SCHOOL and the fire blaze gets really high, almost to the knee of UT as he's standing on the ropes. Kane just drops him on the turnbuckle, and hits him with some rights. Whip hard to buckle, rinse and repeat 3 or 4 times. Kane powerslams UT and they both try to smother each other, until Bearer tosses a chair into the ring. Kane hits UT with the chair, and then the camera pans to Bearer wiping the sweat off his face. Yeah, I'm sure those flames are hot. Kane pushes UT toward the flame AND BAH GAWD HE'S GONNA PUT HIS ASS ON FIRE, but Taker finds his way away from it. Taker gives him a russian leg sweep and a legdrop. CHOKESLAM, CHOKESLAM STRAIGHT TO HELL by Kane, so logically, Taker must return the favor. Then, both guys give each other a big boot. It looked weird. Undertaker misses his running, flying clothesline, and he almost flies too far and into the flames. That was close. Kane sideslams Taker and goes up to the top rope, but UT crotches him on the turnbuckle, then superplexes him. Kane gets tossed out over the top rope, but the flames don't get him. OK. What's the point of the match then. As Kane walks towards the back, Vader makes his first televised appearance since No Way Out of Texas, and gives Kane a piece of his mind. The two wrestlers get a little closer to the ring, and UT FLIES over the top rope with a tope, knocking both men down. Taker chases Bearer onto a stage set-up on the side, and puts a drum through Bearer's head after Bearer gives him a WEAK ASS chairshot. Bearer does a blade-job, and back at the ring, Undertaker knocks Kane into the fire after Kane CLEARLY put on a flame-retardant sleeve or something, and that's it. HE'S ON FIRE, OH MAH GAWD. The bell rings at 16:01.
Match analysis: It was weird. Really weird. Not negative star worthy or anything, but the booking was bizarre. The guys never should have left the ring, but then again, Kane would never have been able to put on the flame-retardant sleeve. It's not BAD though, like one would expect. The gimmick (and other reviews out there) tends to have people thinking the match is dogshit. *.
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From King of the Ring 1998, it's Mankind vs. The Undertaker, in Hell in a Cell.
Prematch: We all know what happens here. UT limps out and climbs the cell. Nothing else sticks out except for the sheer number of lighters while the lights are turned out. Goodness.
Blow-by-blow: Undertaker goes up the Cell, takes a few chairshots and throws Mick off the Cell. The bump still holds up to this day, and it will hold up forever. Two shittier workers, and nobody would have given a fuck. But because it was these two guys, because the Undertaker character was going in a darker direction, and because Mick Foley was supposed to be a sick sonofabitch, it worked. Moving on from that, I like seeing Hugo Savinovich of the Spanish announce team sprawled out after the giant throw off the Cell. It always makes me laugh. Terry Funk, Sgt. Slaughter and Vince McMahon make their way out, he does a stretcher job, BUT HE AIN'T DONE, BAH GAWD, HE'S CRAZY, HE'S SICK!
Stop here. Nothing tops this. I would have loved to seen Mick return the favor, and that would have been the perfect way to end the match, IMO.
They both re-climb the Cell, and Undertaker headbutts Mick. That's a strange thing to see Taker do. Then Taker chokeslams Mick through the Cell. This bump is more impressive than the first, I think. Once UT struggles to get through the hole in the Cell, he chokeslams Terry Funk out of his shoes. Legit LOL there, from both my brother, my father and I. Like I said, I don't watch these alone. This channel brings back good, old memories. Taker punches Mick, and Mick falls down in a heap. It's almost funny, in a sick way. Then the infamous clip of Foley's tooth in his nose follows, and he SAYS that he was trying to stick his tongue through a hole in his lip, but his beard kept everyone from seeing it. For some reason, I'm not so sure about that one. Taker goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but Mick knocks him off. Taker grabs the stairs because Mick can't hold them, so they improvise and Taker launches the stairs into Mick's injured shoulder. Geez, dude. Watch out. Taker then flies into the cell, and you can see the guy scraping his blade up toward his face, trying to get his face to cut. Business exposure, kids. Learn to love it, learn to live with it, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, AND SO ARE THE FOUR HORSEMEN. Sorry. Back in the ring...Mick piledrives Taker onto a chair for two. I'm calling him Mick because his mask is gone, see. A legdrop onto Taker as a chair is draped over Taker's face gets 2, then Mick gives him an ugly looking double arm DDT. He goes under the ring...and we have TACKS. OH MY GAWD, TACKS, TACKS, HE'S SICK...but Mick gives UT FINGERS IN THE MOUTH a MANDIBLE CLAW instead. UT lifts Mick on his back, and then drops him onto a small portion of the TACKS. But Mick ROLLS IN THEM. A chokeslam on the tacks gets most of them stuck to Mick's back, and then Mick gets TOMBSTONE'D for the finish at 17:38.
Match analysis:
1. Both bumps off the top of the Cell were nuts.
2. Most people deride the match because they think all it was, was two big bumps and some thumbtacks.
No.
Fuck those people. The match told a story. A story about two sick motherfuckers that would do anything to win. The only thing that irks me, is that they weren't trying to win anything in particular. Except for pride. And with the history of these two, that's all it takes. I'm stuck in the middle about how I really feel about this match. I've watched it about 10 times including the live airing, I have it on DVD, and my opinion still hasn't changed. So my rating shall be in the middle, as well. **1/2. It isn't the best one of these matches, but it's memorable, and with damn good reason.
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From King of the Ring 1999, it's a World Wrestling Federation Championship match, with the challenger being The Rock, and the Champion being The Undertaker. Undertaker is accompanied by Paul Bearer...
Prematch: Undertaker is just sick at this point, I'll leave it at that. Yes, this is the PPV where Billy Gunn wins the King of the Ring. No, I haven't seen the whole PPV, or this match. I made a point not to order any WWF PPV's post WM XV until Royal Rumble 2000, and I haven't seen a single one in between, although I watched RAW all the time. My parents felt that ripped off by WM XV, and I didn't disagree. Instead, we ordered WCW PPV's.
Yeah.
Blow-by-blow: Ref bump quick and early before anything starts, and if history is any indication, it should be good. Remember Ground Zero 1997? Unfortunately, when Vince Russo's booking, both logic and history is thrown in the garbage. This match was 3rd from last at this PPV, Billy Gunn's KotR win and a shitty Austin ladder match followed. Anyway, ROCK BOTTOM, HE JUST HIT ROCK BOTTOM, but there's no ref. The new one gets to the ring, and Bearer pulls him out while he was making the count. Fuck. Overbooking at the start? I'm used to that at the finish. Bearer punches the new ref to the ground, and a UT chokeslam gets 2. This match is going in reverse. Rocky clotheslines Taker to gain control, and does his spit punch to finish the combination. This guy was, and is, GOLD. He throws UT out of the ring, and now we brawl. They beat each other up near the stage, and on the way back toward the ring, Taker suplexes Rocky in the entranceway. Back in, and an Undertaker cover gets a 1 count. Armwringer and OLD SCHOOL follows, but nope, Taker's nuts must suffer after being crotched along the top rope. Rocky has a water bottle, and he takes a swig and spits it out at Taker. He's still getting the catchphrases down, and stuff. Into the crowd we go, and Rocky pours beer on Taker. Back near the announce table after some shitty brawling, and Rocky rams the face of Taker into the ringbell. Taker grabs the bell, and Rocky has a chair, and the weapons meet. Who the fuck came up with that idea. The visual is terrible, and accomplishes nothing other than that hitting a bell with a chair hurt Rocky. Bearer then hits Rocky with his shoe. Uh. Lots of Taker punches, and his running DDT gets 2. To the chinlock we go, then Rocky powers out and gives Taker a samoan drop for 2. Double clothesline follows, and Rocky's up first. A Taker TOMBSTONE attempt leads to a Rocky counter, as Rocky DDT's him. Ref bump after a whip and collision, and we HAVE THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW. THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW PAD COMES OFF, AND HE DROPS THE FUCKING ELBOW for no count, as there isn't a ref to do so. Taker gives Rock a nutshot, and Bearer has a rag. He soaks it with ETHER. AND BAH GAWD, IT SMELLS LIKE ETHER. This shit is so fucking stupid, I remember when Taker was going to embalm Steve Austin alive and that sort of booking really reminds me of it. Maybe because it's done by the same guy, I dunno. Well, actually, I do. Rocky steals the rag after a clothesline, and smothers Undertaker with it. But Triple H HAS to come to the ring, and he HAS to PEDIGREE Rocky, and JR has to call him a lousy, no good son of a bitch, and we have to have a run-in, and just fuck it I want this to be over. Taker somehow gets his finger on Rocky as both are out, but Rocky kicks out at 2. Taker gets up first, and TOMBSTONE'S Rocky for the win at 19:47. HHH came out because he's in the Corporate Ministry, ya know?
Match analysis: It's a really shitty, really overbooked title match. My initial rating while watching it was *1/2, but after thinking about it, there's really no way I can go that high. The brawling sucked. The booking sucked. The promos before this match on RAW sucked (yes, I do remember. Learning tree yourself, bitch.). Just the overall writing of the company sucked, but damn, I look on it fondly. The match is 1/2*, and I can't possibly watch it again. If you can't book a 20 minute straight wrestling match ONCE in your ENTIRE fucking life, chances are you're on the wrong business. And you show me a match that Russo booked all by himself that went more than 20 minutes, without run-ins, ref bumps, ether soaked rags, human torches, graveyards, celebrity world champions, a tazer, a heel turn, a "shoot", "blood" coming out of the ceiling, partners that hate each other, tits and ass, or any other shitty gimmick out there...
and I'll show you Michael Jordan. Seriously, if anyone can find a straight, non-gimmicked, Russo booked wrestling match with none of the things I mentioned, I'll review it. I don't think such a thing exists. To be truthful, in this case, Undertaker carried the match. I'm not shittin'. I don't know if this match, with this booking, could have been any better.
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And that's it. I don't know what I'll do next, but I'll have something done tomorrow. I sure would like to see some comments after some of the statements I've made...
This part of the DVD is worth a watch, if you haven't seen the Inferno match. But if you want to watch it until the end, please take caution. And try to laugh, as often as possible.
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