Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 3/31/97, from Peoria, Illinois.
We all know which episode this is, and I'm looking forward to it...
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We start things off with a European Title match, and it's the challenger, Owen Hart, facing off against the champion, The British Bulldog.
Prematch: Owen always has his Slammy's, of course. This match came about because of the two participants pull-apart last week on RAW.
Blow-by-blow: Once Bulldog gets near the ring, Owen baseball slides into him. Owen beats Bulldog up on the outside, and claims that the European Title is HIS BELT. Owen tosses Bulldog in, then hits him with a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. Owen then hits Bulldog with a low blow and some mounted punches, and he follows that with a whip into the turnbuckle and clothesline for a 2 count. Chinlock time, and when Bulldog powers out, he gets kneed in the midsection off a whip. Owen goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but that's not happenin'. Back to the Owen chinlock, but a Bulldog rollup gets a 2 count. Then a Bulldog backslide gets two, and Owen ends Davey's run with a standing dropkick and piledriver. Now we go to a
commercial break
and as we come back, we see that Owen landed an elbow drop from the top rope during the break, and nearly won the match and title. An Owen suplex gets a 2 count, and back to the chinlock again. Up to the top, but Owen misses a dropkick. BULLDOG goes for the SHARPSHOOTER, but Owen delivers an enziguri to the back of the head. The match is really starting to pick up. Owen backflips off the top after Bulldog fights off a superplex attempt, and Owen knocks Bulldog out of the ring. On the floor, Bulldog catches Owen after Owen attempts to deliver a plancha. Bulldog slams him into the guardrail, and clotheslines him twice. Then, Bulldog slingshots Owen into the turnbuckle and gets a 2 count on the cover. A really bad blown backdrop by Bulldog nearly ends up with Owen landing on his head, but they repeat the spot, then Owen gets dumped. Bulldog suplex Owen on the steel entranceway ramp, and back in the ring, press slams Owen for a 2 count. Ref bump after an Owen leapfrog over a charging Bulldog, and that's the last we see of him. Owen goes out to grab a chair, but Bret Hart comes down the aisle, to keep him from using it. Bret grabs a microphone, and he wants to know where their family values have gone. Bret tells them they're doing what "these Americans" want them to do. He also says that the US loves to turn families against each other. And they group hug, as the Hart Foundation forms. How sweet. Match ran about 13 minutes...
Match analysis: Well, the match was solid, but that wasn't the point. IT's all about the angle, brudda. And you know what, it worked well. The whole segment is a **** segment. The match is **3/4, and the 1/4 is subtracted because of the blown backdrop that could have killed Owen.
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Sunny comes down to the ring for guest commentary...and it's for a match between El Mosco and Super Nova.
The match is sorta drab, but Sunny's commentary where she generally acts like a whore is funny. I like how she calls JR fat, using Spanish. Nothing really to see here, a blown spot or two, and Mosco finishes with a springboard moonsault at 3:53. *1/4. Spare me. To be honest, almost every AAA match that the WWF imported sucked.
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LOD has an interview in the ring where they tell the Harts they shouldn't disrespect the USA. But, the interview was so bad that I couldn't wait for them to finish. It's about their title match against Owen and Bulldog at IYH: Revenge of the Taker.
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Wow. It's Jesse Jammes vs. an unnamed Jobber. His name is Jerry Fox, apparently.
Jesse's singing, and it, along with his theme and ring attire, are awful. AWFUL. That's gotta be embarrasing to do that, and he looks nothing like the man he would soon become. It's a squash, Jammes atomic drops Fox, clotheslines him from the ring apron, and finishes with the Pumphandle Slam at 1:37. 1/4*. Honky likes him and gives Jesse the guitar, but Jesse destroys it. He says the guitar is "out of tune." Keep that shit off my television.
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The NATION OF DOMINATION comes out, and it's Savio Vega and Crush vs. two unnamed jobbers. And this time, I'm not looking it up. When they disposed of squashes on RAW, the world reaped the benefits. Shawn's on the phone to speak his mind, as Crush gives one of the guys a double backbreaker, and then he tosses him over his head. Big back suplex by Crush, then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker follows. And we finish with Demolition Decapitation at 3:16. 1/2*. Waste of time.
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A Ken Shamrock vignette follows, as he has an exhibition next week against an unnamed opponent.
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And it's hour TWO. Paul Bearer has something to say, and his entrance music is African-ish. He wants The Undertaker to take him back. Well, The Undertaker comes out to the ring, and locks the casket set-up at ringside to make sure there's no surprises. Taker says he may be able to forgive Paul, but he'll never be able to forget. He hands Paul Bearer the WWF Title, but then punches Paul's lights out. Taker grabs the urn off the casket, but Mankind comes out from under the ring and lights a fireball near Taker's eye. TAKER CAN'T SEE BAH GAWD, and SID comes out to chase Mankind backstage. My initial reaction to that was, WTF?
Back from a commercial break, and Sid tells Mankind that he's going to burn in hell. OK.
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Now, there are no managers allowed, for the Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust match.
Prematch: No usual Goldust entrance, he only has his wig on. He runs to the ring, and here we go.
Blow-by-blow: Goldust pounds on HHH (fuck Helmsley, it's HHH), HHH does his upside down thing after getting whipped into the buckle, and then he does that Harley race thing where he flies out of the ring after being whipped into the buckle. He perfected it later on when he did it so his face would always hit the guardrail. Back in, and Goldust bumps into HHH with his ass. He misses a crossbody, so HHH takes over for a while. H slams him on the ramp, then goes inside the ring and does that gay courtsey thing. When both men are back in, HHH hits Goldy with a high knee. He chokes Goldust with his boot, and gives him a swinging neckbreaker for a 2 count. A suplex and kneedrop get another 2 count. To the chinlock, until a Goldust crossbody gets a 2 count. This match is pretty slow. A HHH DDT gets a 2 count, and they trade rights until Goldust is dumped by HHH. Chyna's at the stage, and at the same time that we notice him, uh.....er, her, HHH dives to the outside off the 2nd turnbuckle.
commercial break
and we come back with news that Sid will be facing Mankind next week. Does not happen. Anyway, Chyna makes her way to the ring, as Goldust gives HHH the Curtain Call. She beats up some officials, and HHH starts fighting with Pat Patterson. Patterson's giving it to him, and then Chyna beats him up. Goldust and Chyna stare off, and that's it for that. 9:51 is the time, of the cut match.
Match analysis: A decent match, but this feud dragged on way too long. At this point, they'd been feuding for the whole year. Could have been better, cause this was slow. *1/2. I really like Goldust, and I like some of the work that HHH did later on.
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Stone Cold Steve Austin comes to the ring, and Vince is in the squared circle conducting the interview. He calls Ken Shamrock deaf, says that Bret Hart couldn't do a damn thing to him, and that Bret's a piece of trash. Steve's not changin' for anyone, and all he wants to do is whip some ass. Bret comes out on the Titantron, and he says he already beat Stone Cold's ass, and Bret says he's done with Steve Austin. Steve calls Bret a piece of crap, and Bret storms off.
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In the main event, we have an INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE bout, the challenger is Bret "The Hitman" Hart, and the champion is Rocky Miavia.
Prematch: An announcement is made before this match that Bret Hart will be facing Sid at Revenge of the Taker. Again, no. Does not happen. This is the low point of the Intercontinental Title, IMO. Rocky is not over, and this match has absolutely no heat.
Blow-by-blow: The two wrestlers lock up, and Bret takes Rocky over with a headlock. Tony Atlas is in the crowd, hey guy! Bret grabs Rocky's arm and works it over, then a Rocky crossbody gets a 2 count. Both men kip-up after headlock takeovers, and Bret delivers a knee to the midsection of Rocky. Boot to the midsection by Bret, and he rakes Rocky's eyes across the ropes. An inverted atomic drop and clothesline follow, and then we have a Bret Hart russian legsweep. Now we go to a
commercial break
and we come back to an image of Bret headbutting Rocky in the back. Then in the head. Bret with a backbreaker after a back suplex, but he misses his usual 2nd rope elbow. Rocky with a few right hands, and a fisherman's suplex of his gets two. Whoa. Where did that move come from, and why didn't he use it later in his career. A belly-to-belly suplex by Rocky gets two, and his swinging DDT puts Bret out long enough for Rocky to climb up to the top rope. Bret rolls through his flying body press and gets two, and Bret then applies the ringpost figure-four. Unfortunately, he gets disqualified. So Rocky wins the match, and retains his title, at 10:31. Bret won't let go, so Austin comes down to MAKE him let go. Too bad for him though, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog attack him, but the Legion of Doom chase the Hart Foundation into the crowd. End of that, and the end of the show.
Match analysis:Good, old school wrestling match. But even I can't deny that the match was hurt by the lack of heat. I liked it, though. I don't know how much of it was a carryjob, it was really good from all sides. Also a nice way to end the show, too. **1/2 for the match, even though I feel like going a little higher.
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As for a show rating, on this (Great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible) scale, it's a GOOD show. Almost great, but it dragged. Any TV show with two 10 minute long, almost *** matches is good, IMO.
Rating: Good
Best Match: Owen v. Bulldog
Worst Match: Jesse Jammes vs. Jerry Fox
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To note, star ratings aren't everything when it comes to Worst and Best matches on a TV show. Other things come into factor.
'Til next time...
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